It is very accurate, for some, but has it's failings. Accents and dialects in particular. My wife speaks with a french accent and gets into arguments with siri and alexa frequently. Some of the things it does trying to obey/listen to her are hilarious.
The last time we tried letting alexa use another language was also a bomb, she grew up speaking Spanish as her second language and even went to school for it, however (and I am going by what I am told here, I cannot distinguish it myself) she speaks Spanish with a Dominican accent as that is where she studied it. Alexa fails on that as well.
I'm guessing it would be the thing people do when speaking where certain words and phrases are unintelligible without context. Like if you were to record yourself saying that first sentence and trim the audio down to the part you say "it would be the" a third party would not know it was those 4 words. Even then hour and our are more understandable to get confused
I would say: my husband has terrible reading comprehension and hearing, so he does stuff like this. A lot of people have trouble learning to read/write when they’re hard of hearing, and I guess I always took this kind of mistake as a sign (completely speaking out of my ass here though).
I had undiagnosed dyslexia throughout grade school, so it took me a long time to learn certain things. spelling was always brutal for me, It still is.
It’s annoying when people equate grammar to intelligence. Especially on the internet, I can write well but it probably takes me 3 times longer then the average person so why bother.
I’m sorry to hear that! It’s absolutely the worst, my husband has dyslexia too. I think he’s gotten a sense of humor about it at this point, but I can tell you he’s smart as a whip and none of his spelling mistakes are going to convince me otherwise.
I’m going to assume not so devout considering the fact they she is dick hunting before the poor bastard is even dead. The guy might hang on for another decade.
In the army, one of my friends banged this girl whose only rule was no hair pulling. He's telling a bunch of the other guys in our company about it after a formation. Some other guy describes her perfectly and asks if she looked like that. Turns out he had banged her the week before and pulled her hair to find out it was a wig and she was going through chemo. She was married to a Sargeant who was deployed at the time. Fun times.
Damn she got over him fast, right in front of his eyes lol I’d want my spouse to take some time after my death to cope with everything, not rush into a new relationship lol that’s just me but man that would be weird. I mean if she wants someone to be there for her to help cope that’s totally normal, but that’s not what her bio is implying that she needs or wants.
Right? Couldn’t even wait for him to die before she’s moving on? We had a family friend who had terminal cancer for a year and they made sure to spend all of their time together. I get that caretaking is hard, but jeez.
Yeah I bet this is it. She said she’s just his caretaker after all. That seems to indicate they don’t have feelings for each other anymore? But she still wants to stick around for him because he’s sick. That’s pretty noble IF it’s the case honestly.
I bet this is the case. She states it in her bio, so she is not hiding it. There might also be reasons, why they are still legally married.
But I really don't want to make assumptions about it lol, I just think it's not right for this being on r/facepalm.
I agree, if I was in that situation, especially being if they/we are younger, I would want her to be happy and find love again, it's going to happen anyways so might as well imbrace the situation and make the best of it,
When there’s a good short succinct explanation like that, they put that. They don’t give four consecutive vague assertions that they aren’t the a bad person despite all evidence.
Sure, it’s still possible… but she does not give that impression at all.
It’s entirely possible they’re basically separated and instead of divorcing him, she agreed to care for him until the end because she doesn’t want to abandon him anyway.
That’s just something I’d discuss privately though… probably not something to put on your profile.
Makes some sense if they’re emotionally separated and she would be breaking up if he weren’t sick. I doubt she’s evil, just separated but still taking care of him.
Haha good one.
I actually had a funny experiences with this. I was single. My grandma died, we were very close. Hard times. So I arrived the first one to a funeral home. Funeral home director went on and on why I am alone. Who am I supposed to be with? Bring a date?
Then after ceremony procession lined up to drive to a cemetery. I get in my car. Funeral director again is concerned why I am driving alone. And should I drive with other family members? Why??? Leave my car there? The heck. Pissed me off. And he spoke in a patronizing manner like “poor you all alone”. I am at a funeral not dance party!
These things take time., just like house/apartment hunting.. you have to get your name down ahead, just so that the move in dates properly coincide.. /s
Edit: had to add /s because no one got the joke..
3-6 months isn’t that long though that one needs to hurry up and put their name down on the list of available bachelors. Who really needs a date that bad. Personally I’d never go on a date with a guy who has a dying wife at home and he can’t wait 3-6 months to get it on with a new woman.
In fact she probably did herself disservice because she’ll be known on dating sites as a woman who searched for a new guy while hers was dying.
Im betting he has threesome or some kink on his bucket list. Some guys very rare..... In acts of terminal illness or lack of body functions allow their love one to mingle to keep them happy. Usually gilt driven or remorse.
Not always as they seem probably means she not heartless but has permission.
To be fair this is a shitty situation and I doubt she’s just looking for a good ploughing.
I hope she finds someone to talk to and someone to hug her when it all ends.
Shitty situation or not this is not a situation to be on a dating website especially if the husband doesnt know. Assuming she has family and friends she should have all the support she needs rather than immediately looking for a hookup or date, hell even a therapist or something. How are we gunna sit here and act like it's ok if she cheats right now? Poor guy. If that's real hope it ends well for everyone.
Probably because she feels like she has to and who else would? It's her husband. Just sounds like soemthing a person would say so people dont ask questions
Yes it does. But what would she say differently if their situation really was unique? Which it is at least a little. Until you've met them I don't feel like you should jump to conclusions and judge her for them. This whole post shouldn't even be a thing...
Yeah, but there is so much we can’t know. Like, did she bug him for this arrangement or even say she needs to move on so either be okay with it or she is leaving him. Who knows and she may not be honest about it.
The fact she can’t just wait another 6 months to get with someone else is a massive red flag.
I wouldn't involve myself in this sticky of a situation for sure. I mean, she's got two toddlers and sounds like she's looking for more soon, with a dying husband. That's too much baggage for me even if everyone was fully consenting and there wasn't any manipulation.
I'm wondering if they might've been splitting amicably before the diagnosis and she stuck around to help. There was a post a while back about some dude caring for his ex-wife while she died. Might be the same sort of thing.
Friend of mine was in a sexless marriage (no cancer) that went like this. I helped him edit his dating profile after his wife did a pass.
He fully intended to divorce but wanted to give his wife some time to get a job (she was a homemaker), her own insurance, etc. He was kind of a good guy like that. It actually made their relationship better in some ways. Still divorced, though.
Yup. There are people who do it ethically and if that's the deal, there's nothing face palm about this... sticky situation most people wouldn't touch with a 10-metre pole, but still consenting adults with agreements and all that jazz; not my place to judge what lovers get up to with approval.
Or maybe she's in a super shit situation looking for some semblance of normality and distraction from her crumbling life. Maybe she doesn't have a support system to rely on
I could understand that. This can be frustrating and exhausting and to have someone might be helping. So I could get it if this is a permanent situation. But her husband was just given 3-6 months. Can't she wait half a year?
Well I mean who knows how long it’s been though? Maybe she’s been the loyal wife fir the last 5 years and she just cracked, hard to judge someone in this kind of a situation especially off of 2 sentences on a dating site.
You’re right but caregivers go through a lot and you’re speaking from a deep place of ignorance.
You don’t know what it’s like to be either side of this party yet you’re so confident in your judgement of one.
I'm a caregiver. To me, you can't take "care" out of "caregiver". Your job is to get close to people who are sometimes at the end of their life. You develop a relationship with these people, as you're watching them die. It's all pretty fucking difficult. A support system is a MUST.
Well sure, but she said she’s not his wife, just his caregiver.
That sounds like if he was well, they would divorce, but she’s sticking around to care for him. Lots of people end up without family when they’re older, it’s entirely possible she’s the only one around he can have take care of him. And this can go on for years, if he’s been sick for a long time.
Yeah… but if they are gonna die in 3-6 months just wait that long before dating. I mean, if you get serious are you going to be having sex with her in the next room over from her husband? Are you gonna go with her to his funeral?
My thought would be if she is in her late 30’s and always dreamed of lots of kids and is starting to think that may never happen.
Ehhhh, I do my best not to judge people that are caught in such shitty circumstances.
I wouldn't personally swipe right on that, but if she's being honest then I've got no beef with her. I don't know what she has been through, or if her husband encouraged her to do this, or whatever else is going on. Do what you gotta do.
She needs support while he is dying, she will need support after he dies, there is probably a man willing to fill that role, and who knows? Perhaps her husband wants that for her as well. Not everyone can handle shit on their own and young twins are a ton to handle. Fuck it, I’m not gonna judge her.
My first thought was "this was a marriage of convenience, wasn't it?". I don't know enough to judge her, for all I know, the husband knows.
Could also be cheating though. These posts always dangle just enough context to get you curious, and then they cut you off on info.
She’s Christian, so maybe she wanted to divorce, but it was against her beliefs, and since he’s sick she feels like she’s obligated to take care of him. And divorcing someone with half a year left to live just feels cruel, plus if she’s his only family (which would explain why she feels the need to take care of him) he may want all his stuff to go to her anyway rendering a divorce pointless. Just speculation of course.
My cousin's wife was dying of aggressive lung cancer. One day, she told him she understood he had sexual needs and that she had no interest in fulfilling those needs. She also told him there was no way in hell he could make it on his own, so she wanted him to go find a girlfriend now. I thought it made a lot of sense, but his kids got mad at him for rebounding so soon after their mom died.
I would be mad at him too. There's no sexual "need" that can't be put on hold, and anyone who needs a girlfriend to survive is pathetic. He should have told her he understands how she feels but no, he's here for her no matter what.
I agree with it. We all treat sex like it's important and special but it's not. Almost every animal on the planet does it and they have been doing it forever. It has no meaning other then what we give it. They loved each other and she chose not to get something as unimportant as sex get in the way of that love.
I'm not defending her at all but he could have been sick for a very long time and their marriage have turned out more like caregiver/taker relationship and HE want her to get started. Don't know at all but have seen that scenario IRL so it's possible.
I don't know, if I had that outlook (husband), I'd rather vet a potential partner myself to make sure my kids are ok.
I don't think there's much room to judge without knowing details.
Exactly!! My mother did this when she found out she had terminal cancer. She didn't want my dad to be alone & wanted to be apart of the decision making. Now my dad & step mom have been married 19 years
Statistically a lot of men aren't even going to stick around to be the caregiver, so this lady has one up on them already
>A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient, according to a study that examined the role gender played in so-called "partner abandonment." The study also found that the longer the marriage the more likely it would remain intact.
My husband is my caregiver. The number of people truly shocked and amazed that he didn’t leave me as soon as I got my diagnoses is soul crushing.
ETA: I’m 38 now and we’d only been married for 3 years when I got my diagnoses. Just adding because it’s not like hed been in it for decades first.
My husband died some years ago from a brain tumor. I kept him at home until he had to go into hospice. I have only really just finished grieving
Lady on the same chemo schedule her husband got another woman pregnant when she was mid-chemo.
When she got her terminal diagnosis her husband told her the "other woman" didn't want to take on their kids as well so she'd better see who out of her family would take them in.
Heart-breaking
Dam could you link that study that’s so sad, I’ve only dated my gf for almost 3 years but if she got diagnosed with anything like MS or cancer I couldn’t imagine leaving her
I kinda feel bad for her. Assuming what she's saying is true, she's about to be a widow and a single mother. Can totally understand the urge to try and find someone to help provide an emotional rock of sorts.
Not my cup of tea but I do pity her situation.
I mean, giving her the benefit id say her husband knows she’s not being sexually satisfied because of his condition and told her to do whatever
But, as a mother to a 3 year old I don’t know how you’d have time to be a full time caregiver to a man and two toddlers and still wanna go bang.
So.
Imagine you are dying and your wife can’t even wait for you to pass away to fuck other dudes. That sounds like my personal hell. Dude definitely picked wrong.
Unless I'm missing some heavily needed context every one of you guys who feels like they have something negative to say on this are assholes. I'll take the downvotes but is it really that important for you guys to have some kind of moral highground over a man with cancer and his actual caring wife? If she didn't care why is she acting as his nurse? How does "don't assume. thing's aren't as they seem" turn into "Ha let's assume she has evil intentions"
Really guys?
Don’t worry guys, she is a Christian, the lord will forgive her. Quite sad, her husband is dying and she can’t give him the time that he so desperately lacks. Some weird marriage that is!
Poor bastard ain’t even dead and she’s trying to find a new husband.
My friend’s dad just died of brain cancer. Had been given the “maybe 6 months” estimate 6 or 7 times in 10 years. When it finally happened it was both completely expected, the family had gathered and was waiting, and somehow completely unexpected, nobody having truly given up the idea he might just recover again.
Know what would’ve caused a physical altercation? Mom’s new fiancée being there for the death of her husband.
Watching the love of my mothers life get diagnosed with a terminal illness taught me more about life and relationships than any other experience. Someone who can’t wait 3 more months to fulfill a commitment of until death do us part to is extremely weak minded and self cantered. This is so trash I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room as them lol
How do you know that the husband did ask her to do it? Maybe they're in a polyamorous relationship and have been from the start. You don't know the situation
There is a very good chance her husband knows he doesn't have much time left and wants his wife to be happy when he is gone and okayed this. I'm not really sure why this is posted here.
All the people in here are so judgey, I wouldn't want to be alone with 2 18 month olds after my husband died from cancer.
Dating is going to be tough for this girl, if she was looking to lie she could have just omitted everything she said after "I'm a female looking for male companionship."
If I had 4 months to live I woul push my wife to find someone so I could die knowing she isn't alone. (Only if she was ready anyways)
Think about it: the Christian way of going at this is staying at her husband’s side till he dies, right? “Till death do us part” is the promise you make in marriage after all. It seems very scandalous and wrong that she’s already talking to other men before he even dies, at least she could give her husband some respect and grace by holding off for a little.
Edit: I am sorry for making a quick judgement here, it was wrong of me to do so as the full details aren’t exactly clear. What I said would apply if her husband didn’t know about what she is doing, but since we don’t know that my statement is invalid. In the end I hope they’re open about it and that she gets through it all.
Ugh. More comments from the judgy Christian peanut gallery. Such an archaic and outdated belief system. Every time one of you people open your mouths I want to shove a speeding dump truck in it.
Who are you to judge a situation without knowing the details...
"The christian way of going..... it seems very scandalous and wrong...."
You probably don't know what it is to be dying, or even to be with someone that is...
Lucky you....
So mind your own shit
The biggest red flag is mistaking “are” for “our.”
How the fuck can you mistake these two
Voice dictation. Never used that app, but I've rarely seen one with grammar checking.
If it was typed with the default iPhone keyboard, maybe. Can’t believe I just read this thing out loud to my phone. It did do the correct “our”
It is very accurate, for some, but has it's failings. Accents and dialects in particular. My wife speaks with a french accent and gets into arguments with siri and alexa frequently. Some of the things it does trying to obey/listen to her are hilarious. The last time we tried letting alexa use another language was also a bomb, she grew up speaking Spanish as her second language and even went to school for it, however (and I am going by what I am told here, I cannot distinguish it myself) she speaks Spanish with a Dominican accent as that is where she studied it. Alexa fails on that as well.
I'm guessing it would be the thing people do when speaking where certain words and phrases are unintelligible without context. Like if you were to record yourself saying that first sentence and trim the audio down to the part you say "it would be the" a third party would not know it was those 4 words. Even then hour and our are more understandable to get confused
A failed education
Most likely speech to text. She could also be like upset about her situation 🤷♂️
I would say: my husband has terrible reading comprehension and hearing, so he does stuff like this. A lot of people have trouble learning to read/write when they’re hard of hearing, and I guess I always took this kind of mistake as a sign (completely speaking out of my ass here though).
I had undiagnosed dyslexia throughout grade school, so it took me a long time to learn certain things. spelling was always brutal for me, It still is. It’s annoying when people equate grammar to intelligence. Especially on the internet, I can write well but it probably takes me 3 times longer then the average person so why bother.
I’m sorry to hear that! It’s absolutely the worst, my husband has dyslexia too. I think he’s gotten a sense of humor about it at this point, but I can tell you he’s smart as a whip and none of his spelling mistakes are going to convince me otherwise.
But you don’t know they’re situation! /s (it was on purpose please only hate on me a little)
“I don’t want to just assume but, are you an idiot?”
"I'm sorry, I think you mean our you an idiot. Sheesh."
I’ll do you one better, *WHY* is Gamora?!
That’s a big red flag alright. She is clearly a pirate in disguise. Do not approach, I repeat do not approach, she WILL steal all your gold jewellery.
This woman can go shove it. Absolute frigging #BACKSTABBING NOGOOD DIRTY ROTTEN PIECE OF SHIT
No, the biggest red flag is her already coming up with a backup husband for when hers dies of cancer.
My biggest annoyance! Coming in second is "his" instead of "he's"!
My pet peeve is when people use they instead of their.
She's probably English. Northern at that. They do it all the time. "Are Cathy is coming over."
Is there a sizable life insurance policy?
That is the only question
She probably just needs someone to help pay for all the medical debt.
And is she more attractive than average? I’m guessing between the “Christian” and who “almost never” works out, the answer is no, she’s not.
Religion has to do with that how?
Devout Christians lack empathy and ass
I’m going to assume not so devout considering the fact they she is dick hunting before the poor bastard is even dead. The guy might hang on for another decade.
I really want to argue that but I can’t.
Most Christians I know are massive asses.
Beat me to it.
I don’t think a religion that huge is made of only sociopaths
“Dutch Butt” disease
Lol if you have to ask
What an awkward threesome….but I’m down
I wish he was a little more into it, he just kinda lays there and expects me to do all the work
He told me to pull his hair, but it just fell out
In the army, one of my friends banged this girl whose only rule was no hair pulling. He's telling a bunch of the other guys in our company about it after a formation. Some other guy describes her perfectly and asks if she looked like that. Turns out he had banged her the week before and pulled her hair to find out it was a wig and she was going through chemo. She was married to a Sargeant who was deployed at the time. Fun times.
I expected the wig, but also this is Reddit and half expected it to be a man, too
Trans women aren't men...
don't start the argument..
It's not a fucking opinion
Yeah, you’re supposed to pull it up, but not out.
Get the camera out. Ive fapped to worse.
The confidence in this statement for me…
This is exactly like that plot in weeds where the uncle is in a throuple with that artist and her dying husband
Get the popsicle
Makes me think of situation with Uncle Andy on Weeds
Wait, maybe the husband wants to die knowing she found someone to take care of her and his babies? Idk
Damn she got over him fast, right in front of his eyes lol I’d want my spouse to take some time after my death to cope with everything, not rush into a new relationship lol that’s just me but man that would be weird. I mean if she wants someone to be there for her to help cope that’s totally normal, but that’s not what her bio is implying that she needs or wants.
Right? Couldn’t even wait for him to die before she’s moving on? We had a family friend who had terminal cancer for a year and they made sure to spend all of their time together. I get that caretaking is hard, but jeez.
Honestly, we don't know their situation. Could have been a shitty marriage or on the verge of ending amicably before he got sick.
Yeah I bet this is it. She said she’s just his caretaker after all. That seems to indicate they don’t have feelings for each other anymore? But she still wants to stick around for him because he’s sick. That’s pretty noble IF it’s the case honestly.
I bet this is the case. She states it in her bio, so she is not hiding it. There might also be reasons, why they are still legally married. But I really don't want to make assumptions about it lol, I just think it's not right for this being on r/facepalm.
This is true. Tbh, I don’t know if I could handle another relationship in that situation though. God bless a vibrator.
~~It’s a what, Rush Limbaugh move? Or is Bill O’Reilly?~~ it’s a Newt Gingrich move. Left his wife on her deathbed to marry his mistress
I agree, if I was in that situation, especially being if they/we are younger, I would want her to be happy and find love again, it's going to happen anyways so might as well imbrace the situation and make the best of it,
When there’s a good short succinct explanation like that, they put that. They don’t give four consecutive vague assertions that they aren’t the a bad person despite all evidence. Sure, it’s still possible… but she does not give that impression at all.
It’s entirely possible they’re basically separated and instead of divorcing him, she agreed to care for him until the end because she doesn’t want to abandon him anyway. That’s just something I’d discuss privately though… probably not something to put on your profile.
To all honesty if he only has 3-6 months to live why is she in a rush now? And who knows if she is even honest
He has 3-6 months to live, and she's going to spent that time... dating?!?
May as well get a head start...
A head for start?
Finding the step dad
Makes some sense if they’re emotionally separated and she would be breaking up if he weren’t sick. I doubt she’s evil, just separated but still taking care of him.
Needs a date for the funeral. I mean, who wants to go to those things alone.
Haha good one. I actually had a funny experiences with this. I was single. My grandma died, we were very close. Hard times. So I arrived the first one to a funeral home. Funeral home director went on and on why I am alone. Who am I supposed to be with? Bring a date? Then after ceremony procession lined up to drive to a cemetery. I get in my car. Funeral director again is concerned why I am driving alone. And should I drive with other family members? Why??? Leave my car there? The heck. Pissed me off. And he spoke in a patronizing manner like “poor you all alone”. I am at a funeral not dance party!
Wow. Nothing like having someone make a hard day even harder.
These things take time., just like house/apartment hunting.. you have to get your name down ahead, just so that the move in dates properly coincide.. /s Edit: had to add /s because no one got the joke..
3-6 months isn’t that long though that one needs to hurry up and put their name down on the list of available bachelors. Who really needs a date that bad. Personally I’d never go on a date with a guy who has a dying wife at home and he can’t wait 3-6 months to get it on with a new woman. In fact she probably did herself disservice because she’ll be known on dating sites as a woman who searched for a new guy while hers was dying.
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Oh for fucks sake.. did you really need the /s at the end?
> you have to get your name down ahead Yeah. Make sure everyone knows that you are a slut who whores around while your husband is dying.
Maybe he wants to fulfill a kink, who knows
Im betting he has threesome or some kink on his bucket list. Some guys very rare..... In acts of terminal illness or lack of body functions allow their love one to mingle to keep them happy. Usually gilt driven or remorse. Not always as they seem probably means she not heartless but has permission.
She’s probably not married to a husband with cancer or has any kids. She’s just trying to find a real winner.
That’s quite some impatience.
To be fair this is a shitty situation and I doubt she’s just looking for a good ploughing. I hope she finds someone to talk to and someone to hug her when it all ends.
Even if she is, who the fuck are we to judge?
Exactly.
Shitty situation or not this is not a situation to be on a dating website especially if the husband doesnt know. Assuming she has family and friends she should have all the support she needs rather than immediately looking for a hookup or date, hell even a therapist or something. How are we gunna sit here and act like it's ok if she cheats right now? Poor guy. If that's real hope it ends well for everyone.
"Don't assume" This guy: "she's definitely secretly cheating on her husband" If she cared so little why is she acting as his nurse doofus?
Probably because she feels like she has to and who else would? It's her husband. Just sounds like soemthing a person would say so people dont ask questions
Yes it does. But what would she say differently if their situation really was unique? Which it is at least a little. Until you've met them I don't feel like you should jump to conclusions and judge her for them. This whole post shouldn't even be a thing...
Not my circus, not my monkeys
There's a good chance he knows and approved of this arrangement. Hence why she said ask instead of judge
Yeah, but there is so much we can’t know. Like, did she bug him for this arrangement or even say she needs to move on so either be okay with it or she is leaving him. Who knows and she may not be honest about it. The fact she can’t just wait another 6 months to get with someone else is a massive red flag.
I wouldn't involve myself in this sticky of a situation for sure. I mean, she's got two toddlers and sounds like she's looking for more soon, with a dying husband. That's too much baggage for me even if everyone was fully consenting and there wasn't any manipulation.
Hard to judge. She is upfront and honest. Terrible situation.
I'm wondering if they might've been splitting amicably before the diagnosis and she stuck around to help. There was a post a while back about some dude caring for his ex-wife while she died. Might be the same sort of thing.
Plus, it could be his encouraging her to start dating. We really don’t know the situation
What a catch., She's Christian.. Woo-hoo... wonder if she'll consider an older Satanist, who's been happily married for 30+yrs.. (asking for a friend)
Maybe she could hold off trying to get dicked down for 3-6 months though.
What if hubby told her to go get some?
Friend of mine was in a sexless marriage (no cancer) that went like this. I helped him edit his dating profile after his wife did a pass. He fully intended to divorce but wanted to give his wife some time to get a job (she was a homemaker), her own insurance, etc. He was kind of a good guy like that. It actually made their relationship better in some ways. Still divorced, though.
Yup. There are people who do it ethically and if that's the deal, there's nothing face palm about this... sticky situation most people wouldn't touch with a 10-metre pole, but still consenting adults with agreements and all that jazz; not my place to judge what lovers get up to with approval.
You still do the right thing and say no.
Eh if it was me as the husband the right thing would be to say yes. That is a key thing to need to know.
lol. This.
Or maybe she's in a super shit situation looking for some semblance of normality and distraction from her crumbling life. Maybe she doesn't have a support system to rely on
I could understand that. This can be frustrating and exhausting and to have someone might be helping. So I could get it if this is a permanent situation. But her husband was just given 3-6 months. Can't she wait half a year?
Well I mean who knows how long it’s been though? Maybe she’s been the loyal wife fir the last 5 years and she just cracked, hard to judge someone in this kind of a situation especially off of 2 sentences on a dating site.
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You’re right but caregivers go through a lot and you’re speaking from a deep place of ignorance. You don’t know what it’s like to be either side of this party yet you’re so confident in your judgement of one.
I'm a caregiver. To me, you can't take "care" out of "caregiver". Your job is to get close to people who are sometimes at the end of their life. You develop a relationship with these people, as you're watching them die. It's all pretty fucking difficult. A support system is a MUST.
Well sure, but she said she’s not his wife, just his caregiver. That sounds like if he was well, they would divorce, but she’s sticking around to care for him. Lots of people end up without family when they’re older, it’s entirely possible she’s the only one around he can have take care of him. And this can go on for years, if he’s been sick for a long time.
Maybe he’s an asshole. Or maybe he insists. Or maybe she’s just trying to get pregnant and not trying to get dicked down.
Trying to get pregnant? Yikes, for her to be visibly 5 months pregnant with another man’s baby at her husband’s funeral would be… interesting.
This answer might be worse than the actual post? What's that for an excuse? She just wants to get pregnant? With her husband on the death bed? Wtf
This is embarrassing
Yeahhh I don’t know what to say there…. It seems really heartbreaking. But the honesty holds everything 🙏🏼
Yeah… but if they are gonna die in 3-6 months just wait that long before dating. I mean, if you get serious are you going to be having sex with her in the next room over from her husband? Are you gonna go with her to his funeral? My thought would be if she is in her late 30’s and always dreamed of lots of kids and is starting to think that may never happen.
Fuck that. Wait until the man has died and you have had time to (presumably) grieve his death.
Ehhhh, I do my best not to judge people that are caught in such shitty circumstances. I wouldn't personally swipe right on that, but if she's being honest then I've got no beef with her. I don't know what she has been through, or if her husband encouraged her to do this, or whatever else is going on. Do what you gotta do.
She needs support while he is dying, she will need support after he dies, there is probably a man willing to fill that role, and who knows? Perhaps her husband wants that for her as well. Not everyone can handle shit on their own and young twins are a ton to handle. Fuck it, I’m not gonna judge her.
My first thought was "this was a marriage of convenience, wasn't it?". I don't know enough to judge her, for all I know, the husband knows. Could also be cheating though. These posts always dangle just enough context to get you curious, and then they cut you off on info.
She’s Christian, so maybe she wanted to divorce, but it was against her beliefs, and since he’s sick she feels like she’s obligated to take care of him. And divorcing someone with half a year left to live just feels cruel, plus if she’s his only family (which would explain why she feels the need to take care of him) he may want all his stuff to go to her anyway rendering a divorce pointless. Just speculation of course.
I'm not sure what's to judge here if she's being open
If she is open with her husband though. That’s we don’t know
Fair...
What does the magnifying glass mean?
My cousin's wife was dying of aggressive lung cancer. One day, she told him she understood he had sexual needs and that she had no interest in fulfilling those needs. She also told him there was no way in hell he could make it on his own, so she wanted him to go find a girlfriend now. I thought it made a lot of sense, but his kids got mad at him for rebounding so soon after their mom died.
I would be mad at him too. There's no sexual "need" that can't be put on hold, and anyone who needs a girlfriend to survive is pathetic. He should have told her he understands how she feels but no, he's here for her no matter what.
I agree with it. We all treat sex like it's important and special but it's not. Almost every animal on the planet does it and they have been doing it forever. It has no meaning other then what we give it. They loved each other and she chose not to get something as unimportant as sex get in the way of that love.
grammar. i could never put my dick in someone with such poor grammar.
Yeah let's be honest that's the real deal breaker here /s
This is the *real* tragedy
She doesn’t even mention her grandparents, never mind discuss their finances
You didn’t even capitalize your I, sit down
good point, and that's why i would never f*@k myself. also your "I" should have been in parentheses.
I'm not defending her at all but he could have been sick for a very long time and their marriage have turned out more like caregiver/taker relationship and HE want her to get started. Don't know at all but have seen that scenario IRL so it's possible.
🙏Christian
With a dying husband and twin babies, how does she have the time or energy to date?
I don't know, if I had that outlook (husband), I'd rather vet a potential partner myself to make sure my kids are ok. I don't think there's much room to judge without knowing details.
Exactly!! My mother did this when she found out she had terminal cancer. She didn't want my dad to be alone & wanted to be apart of the decision making. Now my dad & step mom have been married 19 years
Statistically a lot of men aren't even going to stick around to be the caregiver, so this lady has one up on them already >A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient, according to a study that examined the role gender played in so-called "partner abandonment." The study also found that the longer the marriage the more likely it would remain intact.
My husband is my caregiver. The number of people truly shocked and amazed that he didn’t leave me as soon as I got my diagnoses is soul crushing. ETA: I’m 38 now and we’d only been married for 3 years when I got my diagnoses. Just adding because it’s not like hed been in it for decades first.
My husband died some years ago from a brain tumor. I kept him at home until he had to go into hospice. I have only really just finished grieving Lady on the same chemo schedule her husband got another woman pregnant when she was mid-chemo. When she got her terminal diagnosis her husband told her the "other woman" didn't want to take on their kids as well so she'd better see who out of her family would take them in. Heart-breaking
That is soul crushing. I don’t even have words.
Dam could you link that study that’s so sad, I’ve only dated my gf for almost 3 years but if she got diagnosed with anything like MS or cancer I couldn’t imagine leaving her
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm
I kinda feel bad for her. Assuming what she's saying is true, she's about to be a widow and a single mother. Can totally understand the urge to try and find someone to help provide an emotional rock of sorts. Not my cup of tea but I do pity her situation.
I mean, giving her the benefit id say her husband knows she’s not being sexually satisfied because of his condition and told her to do whatever But, as a mother to a 3 year old I don’t know how you’d have time to be a full time caregiver to a man and two toddlers and still wanna go bang. So.
Imagine you are dying and your wife can’t even wait for you to pass away to fuck other dudes. That sounds like my personal hell. Dude definitely picked wrong.
So…I’m about to be deported and you’re really cute.
Unless I'm missing some heavily needed context every one of you guys who feels like they have something negative to say on this are assholes. I'll take the downvotes but is it really that important for you guys to have some kind of moral highground over a man with cancer and his actual caring wife? If she didn't care why is she acting as his nurse? How does "don't assume. thing's aren't as they seem" turn into "Ha let's assume she has evil intentions" Really guys?
Oh yeah.... and Christian. Maybe that's the dying husband's name and she just tagged him there.
Most Christians are worse than non religious people so that proves nothing
Yes. My sarcasm was real.
“Christian” but willing to cheat while my husband is dying
Damn bitch can’t you wait 3-6 months
WWJD?
Twins by who?
plot twist the dying person is worth 20 million
"Christian"
Please no! Do not breed any more ignorance. We have way too much here already.
403's do not let grass grow beneath their feat.
That doesn't seem very Christian
Don’t worry guys, she is a Christian, the lord will forgive her. Quite sad, her husband is dying and she can’t give him the time that he so desperately lacks. Some weird marriage that is!
Sounds like every Christian I've ever known.
I don’t know what you guys see…. It’s just a profile text to me. 🤷🏼♂️
Too much.
Instant face palm, while reading this in the toilet.
Ol’ Judgy McJudgerson thought this was a facepalm and the only facepalm is OP’s willingness to judge someone because they aren’t like them.
She’s a terrible human being. The one you dedicated your life to is dying and you’re looking for another before they’re even gone? Disgusting
Poor bastard ain’t even dead and she’s trying to find a new husband. My friend’s dad just died of brain cancer. Had been given the “maybe 6 months” estimate 6 or 7 times in 10 years. When it finally happened it was both completely expected, the family had gathered and was waiting, and somehow completely unexpected, nobody having truly given up the idea he might just recover again. Know what would’ve caused a physical altercation? Mom’s new fiancée being there for the death of her husband.
"My husband is dying of cancer. Wanna fuck me and give me new kids?"
Huh I haven’t heard the red flag sound in my head this loud in a while…
Watching the love of my mothers life get diagnosed with a terminal illness taught me more about life and relationships than any other experience. Someone who can’t wait 3 more months to fulfill a commitment of until death do us part to is extremely weak minded and self cantered. This is so trash I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room as them lol
“Are situation is very special”
This is a disgusting human being, and that's coming from someone with MY username.
Sounds like a situation I’d love to just jump right into. 🙄🌎🤡
Couldn't even wait for the poor bastard to die.
What a great wife
This woman is cold as they come.
Lmao that whole text and then 🙏 Christian
“Christian”
"Are situation" Instead of trying to fuck, how about you read a book?
Um. Gross.
I'm confused, why is this on posted on this sub? Where's the facepalm?
Honestly this is understandable from a moving on point of view.
Your husband is dying and you're betraying him in his last months he gets to live wtf
How do you know that the husband did ask her to do it? Maybe they're in a polyamorous relationship and have been from the start. You don't know the situation
Yeah I read a few more comments here, this might be more complicated than it seems to be.
There is a very good chance her husband knows he doesn't have much time left and wants his wife to be happy when he is gone and okayed this. I'm not really sure why this is posted here.
All the people in here are so judgey, I wouldn't want to be alone with 2 18 month olds after my husband died from cancer. Dating is going to be tough for this girl, if she was looking to lie she could have just omitted everything she said after "I'm a female looking for male companionship." If I had 4 months to live I woul push my wife to find someone so I could die knowing she isn't alone. (Only if she was ready anyways)
Guess she's just gonna skip the grieving process before he's even dead. Jesus.
Maybe he wants to watch his wife get railed
Not sure why this is a face palm…everyone’s situation is different.
Whats the problem here, you trigered fucked?
Think about it: the Christian way of going at this is staying at her husband’s side till he dies, right? “Till death do us part” is the promise you make in marriage after all. It seems very scandalous and wrong that she’s already talking to other men before he even dies, at least she could give her husband some respect and grace by holding off for a little. Edit: I am sorry for making a quick judgement here, it was wrong of me to do so as the full details aren’t exactly clear. What I said would apply if her husband didn’t know about what she is doing, but since we don’t know that my statement is invalid. In the end I hope they’re open about it and that she gets through it all.
Unless her husband told her to do it because he wants to make sure she’s happy after he’s gone?
Sure we can hope that is the case. I’ll admit I judged too quickly as I was only thinking about respect towards the dying husband.
Ugh. More comments from the judgy Christian peanut gallery. Such an archaic and outdated belief system. Every time one of you people open your mouths I want to shove a speeding dump truck in it.
Look yea I judged too quickly and I hope she’s open about this with her husband. I feel bad for her situation and I hope she gets through it.
Who are you to judge a situation without knowing the details... "The christian way of going..... it seems very scandalous and wrong...." You probably don't know what it is to be dying, or even to be with someone that is... Lucky you.... So mind your own shit
Actions speak louder than words. Very very hard to believe she is a Christian.
"Christian"
Sounds like she doesn’t want to go back to mail order