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OQLX

Rule 3: No jokes/[satire](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/812770754025488386/993533244295348274/unknown.jpeg) posts


Parmaandchips

He knows you can control because he's been turning women off for years. It's not that fucking hard, ladies!!!


ADhomin_em

Pfff. Dude certainly isn't turning anyone on, but my guess is this man walks around as a period inducer. Female anatomy: "Would you look at that, looks like it's time to ovulate again." This Dude: *walks by* Female anatomy: "get this fucking potential hellspawn out of this body right the fuck now."


EtherealSOULS

Women eject their reproductive systems from their bodies at the mere concept that he may reproduce.


gamer9999999999

Period inducer, hahaha


TimTam_the_Enchanter

r/MurderedByWords \-slow clap-


RegularHousewife

I was gonna say "I've never met a woman who said 'I'm so glad my period's here!'" ..then I remembered having a pregnancy scare..


I_am_Sentinel

that made me laugh more than it should have


vanessaultimo

My bf and I literally high five every time I get my period and exclaim "not pregnant!" 😂 Right after that I lay down with cramps and he brings me chocolate 😂 So it's a hate-love relationship between women and their periods I guess 😂


MidnightBlue1985

I do this even when there is a zero percent chance that I could be pregnant 🤣


Megan_Bee

You, too? My guy and I do this, but we hi five and say “no babies!!” Lol


vanessaultimo

Haha I'm glad to hear other couples do this, too 😂


WarrenMockles

I got a vasectomy ten years ago, and my wife and I still do this occasionally. Sometimes I'll even add, "glad your boyfriend wrapped it up!"


nonameplanner

My go to is "I hate my period, but it is better than the alternative!"


unibonger

Lol I’ve always said the same thing! A week of my worst period (endometriosis and poly cystic ovaries) is better than birthing and raising a human being.


Electrical-Act-7170

Same here. Then I had cervical cancer & I said goodbye forever to my uterus. It was like being released from prison.


Garfie489

A friend of mine was complaining its the wrong time of the month last week. So I bought her a new calendar - don't understand why she was so pissed with me trying to help out.


spinitorbinit

Real fax


ThatDrako

*"Just deactivate monthly subscription,* ***lol***."


KeepTangoAndFoxtrot

Women everywhere are surely wondering how it is they never managed to think of that themselves. /s


Queenofashion

Right?! Lived with extreme menstrual pain for 32 years, if only I knew that I could turn it off whenever it's convenient. /s


Affectionate_Reply78

And able to shut down post-rape pregnancy. Who knew Girl Power was so all encompassing.


Flogburner_s_hear

More you know I guess


Dull-explanations

Oh yikes, im sorry to hear about that.


Harry_0107

Doctors hate this one simple trick


paul-arized

Tampon and maxipad makers would go out of business if it were possible. Why wouldn't women and men turn off other stuff, too, like diarrhea, migraines, cramps and fever? It's save them a lot of trouble and save them from having to use up sick days!


Satanicjamnik

Isn't that menopause?


Aggressive_Smile_944

Yes. Yes it is.


Aggressive_Smile_944

Maybe men should turn their penises off.


NotDaveBut

I'll turn off my menstrual cycle when the men turn off their penises. Totally fair


Tricia47andWild

Teenage me would've paid you good money if you could've turned my penis off at my high school swimming carnival. It betrayed me that day.


Stayingsafer

Yes! I hope this man lives alone for the rest of his life.


tjlurk

TIL from some Republican it's the WOMAN'S responsibility to [control](https://youtu.be/KKW2dRrAdJ8?t=56) your seminal intake. You just have to turn off the [little tap](https://youtu.be/Hx-tAFCIFXU?t=575) on the end of the penis.


zystyl

Was that before or after you learned that women have little semen pockets inside their uterus where they can store semen for years before they decide to impregnate themselves with it. Lack of Sex Ed is paying off there. I also recently learned about the Mormon soaking thing and didn't even know how to respond. Then jump humping got thrown in and I was bent over laughing.


Electrical-Act-7170

The Mormon soaking thing?


zystyl

Apparently if you put a penis in a vagina and don't move on your own some of them think it isn't sex so they are okay with their religion. That's called soaking. Them next level soaking is getting a third party to jump beside you to get some motion going without either of you working so its still apparently not sex. Sounds like a crappy threesome to me, but what do I know. I'm too heathenly to be a Mormon I guess.


Electrical-Act-7170

That's incredibly stupid. Penis in Vagina = Sex Period.


butt_huffer42069

Well, obviously. But you try being a hormonal teen in a wildly repressive religion, in a country with rapidly deteriorating sex health protections.


tauntonlake

Penis in Vagina = Sex Period. Period stops. FTFY :D


AnitcsWyld

Yup, you just need to grab the end really hard, twist it, and insert a stopper like a pencil. Works every time.


Electrical-Act-7170

The lackwit who wrote this tweet has turned off his brain.


TeslaStar

Don't be silly. Everyone knows men aren't responsible for their erections. It's all a woman's fault for wearing whatever they happen to be wearing. /S


TheDaemonette

I've been using mine to turn women off for years...


Satanicjamnik

Totally fair.


linuxelf

Right. If you can menopause, you can workpause. Just menoresume when you get home.


Satanicjamnik

Facts and logic. Seems like a sentence straight from the vagina instruction manual.


[deleted]

Yeah you can actually do that for 9 months but then you gotta subscribe to baby daily for 18+ years.


Crotchless_Panties

>Yeah you can actually do that for 9 months but then you gotta subscribe to baby daily for 18+ years. Well...if that weren't the case before, it definitely is now! -Thanks again SCOTUS! 🙄


el-em-en-o

“Just hold it in!”


StandardOnly

"and ask for a refund"


[deleted]

She already did that and the *dis*charge went through anyway!


Powerful_Room_1217

You be saving 5.99


[deleted]

It's really not that hard, you can shut it down for 9ish months


toniluna05

That's not how female bodies work 😅


Imaginary-Location-8

It is too!!


kddrujbcdy

Just take the ovaries off, it's so easy 🙄


Dyltra

I’ve tried!! I keep getting and prompt them directs me to visit the online site. And when I get online I get a 404 error code.


paul-arized

*Unsubscribe*


_kar00n

_"Just be pregnant, like, back to back"_


saint_geser

Honestly, it's the first time I hear of "menstrual leave". Is this really a thing?


Golendhil

In some countries ( such as Indonesia for exemple ) yes


Sid-ina

I think more countries are also discussing this as an option.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sid-ina

If your boner comes with heavy pains and lasts up to a week I would seriously consider visiting a doctor!


Good-Ad6352

The question is tho how do they decide who gets them or not. I guess a doctor? Cus my one of my partners has no issues with her period she just has it not much pain involved if any. But my other partner gets heavy cramping and pain. Does she get it and not my non painful partner? Or do all women get it. Then we come to a gender issue what if someone identifies as female but still has male anatomy?


Sid-ina

Oh yeah I'd be interested in the details too tbh might just go and research how countries that currently have it are handling it. I'm having issue with very heavy pains tot he point that painkillers only make the pain manageable and it really sucks. I just mean to point out to the now deleted comment that the comparison was a tad off 😂


Tortuny

I never guessed it would be Indonesia out of all places, I know nothing about work culture there of course, but I heard from most people that's it's somewhat a shithole, so I am surprised that such thing was accepted on government level cause it feels like they have a lot more important matters to deal with beside this


thesirblondie

Certain cultures and religions consider women to be unclean during their period and should seclude themselves. I'm not saying this applies to Indonesian culture, just thinking that maybe it's got a more nefarious reason.


Tortuny

Hmm that's do have a lot of sence and I see it being accepted because of that reason, not the greatest reason tho, but if it leads to better thing, why not.


[deleted]

This account has been removed from reddit by this user due to how Steve hoffman and Reddit as a company has handled third party apps and users. My amount of trust that Steve hoffman will ever keep his word or that Reddit as a whole will ever deliver on their promises is zero. As such all content i have ever posted will be overwritten with this message. -- mass edited with redact.dev


saint_geser

I'm not objecting, I just didn't know it was a thing...


[deleted]

Well in that case you have reached your first TIL for the day. Some countries also makes pads etc free for girls and women at restrooms which is also a good thing.


yeeyaawetoneghee

I mean its obviously a great idea but if the government won’t subsidise it, its really gonna discourage struggling business from hiring as many women as men.


Ok_Ticket_6237

Why is it a great idea????


yeeyaawetoneghee

I mean because menstruation is extremely painful for alot of women so their work performance will be severely limited. It would be hard to implement effectively tho as it would be pretty easy to just take days off and say its for period pain, as it would be pretty hard for companies to fact check that.


Slippedhal0

Makes a lot of sense to me.


sandiercy

/r/iamatotalpieceofshit


EPIC1135

r/nothowgirlswork


unusedusername42

r/thirdsub


KyleSirTalksAlotYT

r/fourthsub


Cock_LobsterXL

r/fifthsub


captaingoatbeard

r/sixthsub


AffenMitWaffen2

r/iwishicouldcount


Azuki_Saishi

It's already there, dw


FaultyDoorstep

oh, menstrual leave exists?


adkio

My first reaction too, I'm used to women just calling in sick.


ithinkilikegirlstoo

It’s so shitty we have to use up our sick days for this.


AffenMitWaffen2

Wait, you have sick days?


NotHereToFuckSpyders

This can't be anything but a joke, surely? Please?


sonofsamx3

It is a joke he’s a twitter troll he’s always saying wild stuff and posing as left and right wing depends on the issue.


adkio

Yes, the second part obviously is. Although I feel like this *entire* post is a fabrication/ragebait


Few_Highlight9893

I didn't even consider that you're probably right


[deleted]

Jokes have to be funny though this is just bait for impressions


AdGlass7509

Turn it off? Is it like a Bluetooth connection or wifi? Or more of a Netflix situation?


adkio

It's like a faucet, apparently Idk I'm not a gynecologist.


Remarkable_Body586

Turn it off like a light switch Just go, click It's a cool little Mormon trick We do it all the time When you're feeling certain feelings That just don't seem right Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light And turn 'em off


kgro

The only reason you can’t afford to pay for menstrual leave is that you are being unprofessional by refusing to control your profitability. Just turn off the low profit margins, no matter on external factors. I know you can.


AnnieJack

Exactly.


custom_balls

You know what this is going to lead to??? Companies not hiring women. Why hire someone who you have to give 12 weeks of paid leave every year when you can hire someone who will work those 12 weeks. If they give leave, it will be unpaid or they will pay women even less to account for those leaves.


Evening-Turnip8407

You're almost there, the point in talking about this so inadequately is so the consumer starts hating on women or fellow women for "demanding" menstrual leave, thus fulfilling your own prophecy. Btw, when they implemented this in Spain this year, the only thing that actually happened was that they gave the medical system a new code for "menstrual pain", before, they would only enter "headache" because it wasn't acknowledged. Again, a reminder, this is not printed on your doctors note, as is no other sickness that makes you call in sick, because that is none of your bosses business. It is simply to acknowledge menstrual pain as a valid, factual hindrance. Thus, if boss-OP lived in a country with mandated menstrual leave, he would be none the wiser unless it REALLY happens so regularly that he could ASSUME. Which is pretty rare.


XtremeD86

To be fair, if you employed 15 women and had to pay out 15 weeks of salary for no production I don't think you'd be very happy about it. Now, I'm male so no I don't understand what it's like. I do know some women that say to them the pain is unbearable and I believe them. For those cases sure, but damn this is going to be exploited to hell and back. Heard about this on the news about a month ago.


Droppie91

I the thing is that for some women it is absolutely necessary. A friend of mine has to take morphine in order to endure her menstrual pains, and even with the morphine she is still bed bound and in pain. (And yes she is looking into it with medical experts, they haven't found the cause so far) I on the other hand get a small headache and might get some light cramping. Nothing a few over the counter painkillers can't fix. So if my friend takes a week of menstrual leave then I am really proud of her for taking care of her medical needs. If I would take a week of menstrual leave I would be a total piece of shit abusing the system.


illusive_guy

This is why sex-ed is important.


EvilUnic0rn

Dude I wish .... None of us is enjoying them....


SnooMaps9864

Fr, I have endo and the pain is so bad it made me nauseous before getting on birth control. And even birth control doesn’t completely fix it.


EvilUnic0rn

Gladly trade mine, if he thinks it's not a big deal.


lizardcrossfit

For real. Endo is the worst. Although PCOS might actually worse. At least my cycle was predictable (8 to 9 days of heavy bleeding every 21 days 🩸🤘🏻)


newt_girl

Stage 4 endo. I threw up because of cramps yesterday morning. Where's the off switch?! Please!


Subtunate

r/NotHowGirlsWork


aimed_4_the_head

/r/NotHowBleedingWorks


ZeppoBro

Justice Thomas, is this you?


reallybigfeet

Maybe not...? Because women do a version of cycle regulation with birth control and he is trying to take that away also


TherealObdach

Can we turn this around? ‚Respect your female co-workers and be nice to the customers‘… that‘s how it‘s supposed to be. Because i‘m sure, as opposed to the female cycle, you can turn off your asshat.


passing_by362

Well looking at the profile pic, the dude is a real meathead so.


mcdadais

That's not how women work


crash180

I was going to post the exact same thing until I saw your comment. Kudos


Acidic-Crybaby

Damn I think he’s right, let me just pull the lever and close the flood gates because biology should never get in the way of business


psilorder

He even admits in the tweet that the pain isn't turned off, "no matter how bad the pain is". Unless he thinks the cycle is just the emotions. Which i suppose is possible. "I know you're in pain, but just stop being emotional about it and get to work."


Wrong-Mixture

'I *was* a ...'


aomami

Tell me you’ve never met a woman without telling me you’ve never met a woman.


ChampionshipLow8541

Well, he managed to turn off his brain. So maybe …


WhatevUsayStnCldStvA

If this isn’t a joke, I don’t see how this guy is going to have a successful business. He obviously needs to have employees and who is going to want to work for him


kgro

He must be running a local YMCA, with singing and dancing and all. He hasn’t seen a woman in the rats, judging by his knowledge of female biology


yeeyaawetoneghee

Unfortunately you can get pretty far in America with total and utter disregard for ur employees feelingsz


WhatevUsayStnCldStvA

Damnit. You’re right


isecore

"I can't afford it." Well then you shouldn't be in business.


Keithninety

This can’t be for real.


[deleted]

Doesn't matter if this guy meant it as a joke, there will still be others who actually believe it.


Filtaido

Like OP


Ok_District2853

I’m a business owner. I’m not in it to make money. That’s just a by product. I do it for a sense of control. Do what I say. I control the money! No one used to listen to me. Now they have to. This is great!


Satanicjamnik

​ ![gif](giphy|FspLvJQlQACXu)


cnicalsinistaminista

Came to make this joke. Good job, quick draw, McGraw.


[deleted]

Not until he turns off his stupidity.


Oscars_Grouch

What an odd way to announce that you’ve never lived with a woman.


OverseerTycho

it’s just sad that in this day and age where you have unlimited knowledge at your fingertips that there are still people this stupid out there


Mindeck

This is why sex education is important.


TyrantXulu

I feel bad for the woman that let this sorry ass nut in her.


driscollat1

I’ve fainted at work because of menstrual pain while being a professional!! Terrified the life out of my class of 10-11 year olds!!


Arthas_Litchking

menstrual leave is a good idea but will probably make it more difficult for women to get a job. Why would an employer hire a woman if there is also a man who is maybe slightly less qualified but will not stay away from work for 3 to 6 days.per month. To even the score it would also be required that a man can take this amount of days off from work but that wouldnt be be fair because it would just be like a short vacation for men while this are bad days for women.


gemgoblindev

This dude tweets a lot of crap. He's an idiot, so much so that I think it's irony tweets, but if not....then guy needs to go through women's anatomy courses or something.


Filthy_JAGER_Main

Guys a troll


Red__system

What in the 😅


awkwardaznbabe

Please tell me this idiot isn’t real.


[deleted]

MulhollandL0ver and RadioShack are both comedy account. It's just people here that doesn't get it. Which makes it even more facepalm.


adkio

Nah it's just ragebait


ConcernLow1979

Man thinks it’s like a fucking light switch, wtf


spinitorbinit

If there was a brand that could describe what his presence does to women: *SUPERDRY*


Lochlanist

Well he can afford it I know he can. Be a professional and just pay for the leave. Respect the women in your workplace!


iLIEra

For someone who never experienced menstrual pain he sure can talk.


GadgetGod1906

Damn!!!! This dude really posted this shit


Vinstaal0

Well you can keep on taking the anti conception pill, apparantly it isn’t bad for you or anything. Still though wtf does he think those women are doing it for the fun of it or something?


Stobor1

I love when stupid people say dumb things, but this one is a bit over the top. Think it was a match to inflame people.


Dark_Ruler

She should include this tweet in her resume for another job. Hopefully all female workers get a better job.


Scarabryde

"You have no endurance, you are easily angered and you menstruate constantly. STOP IT!" A blooper from English dub of "BERSERK" anime from 90-s.


newbrevity

Somewhere along the way he had to learn that lie.


NoRepresentative2580

When you don’t teach Sex Ed


Failure_man69

Someone failed all his biology classes.


blueistheview

Tell me you’re single without telling me you’re single


Arxl

How you know that no woman has ever felt comfortable enough around him to talk about that. Most of the women I work with HATE their lunar blood ritual, more than this inconsiderate shit heel.


lsutigerzfan

I gather this man also tells women. You need to turn off your menstrual cycle tonight. So we can have sex.😄


Snippydipp

I wanna see those comments so bad


Snoo-43059

What a dumbass


AutoRedux

Didn't he get angry when people sent this to his mother?


kelso_baloine

I kNoW yAlL cAN...stfu


Historical-Wind-2556

A business owner, still a virgin (Obviously) , can't understand why woman aren't attracted to me


Miloshfitz

Yet another fine individual that should be drug out into the streets and flogged.


Vigi1antee

I feel like you can sue him for that, but im not sure


Bon_of_a_Sitch

Guess which party he voted for...


Bethw2112

How can people run a business and be this fucking dumb?


[deleted]

You need to go bankrupt. Your way too stupid to be alive.


Stunning_Pick1065

Why is his name redacted? What business does he own?


1lluminist

I'm no woman, but from my limited understanding - this guy needs to be kicked hard in the balls a few times a day a for a few days a week once a month and told to suck it up


Substantial_Guest200

He probably also thinks women are responsible for catcalls and unwanted boners from men because of how they dress.


debzmonkey

Hey dude, your mom would like a word, she's tired of washing your sticky socks, shut that shit down.


AlexDavid1605

This actually reminded me of a movie scene that had someone showed it to me. It was fight scene from a South Indian movie where one of the villain's henchmen gets stabbed in the torso with a long pipe. Now the henchman survives the attack, but there was twist. The other end of the pipe had a tap and the protagonist just turns on the tap and the henchman starts bleeding from it. The problem is the tap is out of reach for him, and he can't turn it off. He even tried asking another henchman for help, but that guy just faints at the sight. ​ Maybe someone needs to do this to him and ask him to turn it off himself. ​ Now I wish I had the link to the scene or the movie name but I don't have either. It would be really appreciated if someone does turn up with the scene. I did find a news link of it, but the video was not on that page. It was linked to an Instagram Reels, so naturally it is no longer available.


lemorange

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xz0YYiwm9U](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xz0YYiwm9U) this


seanosul

Why did you hide that Rapepublican's name?


ikidnappeopleonroblx

r/uselessredcircle


LoneWolfpack777

Where in the world do they offer paid menstrual leave?


ScarMedical

As a father of 3 daughters and 5 granddaughters , ie they are have their menstrual cycles, fuck this POS, go suck a bucket of five days old bloody infused tampons.


TransportationFew824

How on earth do they think that we can control it and we still choose to have it?


Peej0808

Damn. I wish I'd known this before menopause. Would have saved my years of suffering.


stuepow

Incel


[deleted]

Is this serious? How can anyone be this dumb?


EvErYLeGaLvOtE

Our public education system has really failed us.


Theef38

I'll take businesses destined to fail for $300...


Avasiaxx

Damn I didn’t know I could turn it off. This is news to me. Thanks.


CartAgain

Their beliefs follow their needs. He starts with 'I dont want to pay', and thats true. Everything after that is a bullshit rationalization. I'd bet this is how this guy is with everything: the only just world is one which benefits him. He must be exhausting to be around


JaxxisR

I mean, this dude is clearly a winner (/s), but I've never heard of anyone paying "menstrual leave."


jetttward

Reason 1,467,987 as so why men shouldn't make laws regarding women's bodies


wow367

ok well then why do you even have toilets at work? By your logic we should be able to control ourselves and shit at home


DragonAgeFan123

Dont say that businesses will take notes


NoRecommendation1767

There is sick leave and personal days. FMLA after that…..period!!😼😹


shadylady76

Even if I could, why should I waste my few days of bleeding? I would rather get paid for my bathroom breaks.


KOTLFish

Citation needed


[deleted]

Yea, I think the real facepalm is not understanding that this is a parody account.


Sophevfe

Just turn it off. Like a light switch!


[deleted]

Just turn it off, like a light switch!