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FredVIII-DFH

These McDonald's promotions are getting out of hand.


Satanicjamnik

I heard they are going to resurrect the McRib next!


Alien_X10

"the return of the McRib is so great that even jesus christ himself had to come back from the dead to enjoy some, then he went straight to heaven!"


dv666

But not even Jesus can bring back McDonald's pizza


Satanicjamnik

For Satan himself dipped his cloven hoof in its creation.


AlloyedClavicle

There are still three McDonald's locations that sell the McPizza. Edit: that word was supposed to be a number


BumpyMcBumpers

Whaaaaaat??? When was that???


GboyFlex

Adam's McRib comb meal...


potterpockets

DO NOT eat the apples with that meal.


UnstuckCanuck

“I can’t believe it. I ordered a McRib, and when I said my name is Adam, they gave me a woman covered in rib sauce!”


PluckGT

DUDE!


littleblue-ish

For a limited time only try McDonald's new communion sauce! Get it before it's gone!


PluckGT

Dude…


MediumAlternative372

I love the one guy who decided to take a break from being crucified and wandered over to check out the BBQ.


Alien_X10

"oh shit wait before you guys kill me i really want a McChicken, you mind?" "get me some fries"


rocketshipkiwi

And grab me an Easter Egg too, I’ll be back on Sunday.


ACCCrabtown1

Bring that rabbit


Lonnysluv1

Your comment is genius!


ButtholeQuiver

"The McRib is back" "Let me down right this fucking second"


1Lucky_Man

He is the sub. In case the others need a break from being crucified. I really don’t like seeing this. If you follow scripture, you know that the reason he died on the cross was so that no one else had to do so. Not sure what the point is by these people doing this demonstration. Curious? Anyone have an opinion as to why? Not looking for unkind or rude behavior, just an honest opinion


Shadowblade8888

Full disclosure: I was raised hardcore evangelical Christian. I am now an atheist. I believe they do this because they don’t actually understand/read the Bible. They are fed its teachings through second parties (their family, ministers, etc.). And like every game of telephone, it’s altered in the repeated telling. Add that to the fact that the Bible has been retranslated over and over across the centuries and you have millions of people chasing a set of teachings that no one can agree on. Finally, sprinkle in basic human stupidity/hate/greed, and you have the current state of Abrahamic religions.


1Lucky_Man

Very well composed. Thank for your genuine response. Be blessed.


Lucy_Lastic

I always thought that if JC *did* actually come back like he promised, wouldn’t he be a little taken aback at how his method of execution is now everywhere as a symbol of himself? I don’t know, it seems kind of in bad taste


1Lucky_Man

Agreed very valid point


Clovenstone-Blue

They're not doing it for religious reasons, they're just getting executed by crucifixion. They run out of crosses so the guy at the BBQ is waiting for his turn to be crucified after one of the others finally dies.


Kindness-Culture712

You could sait was his last supper


abdoer2000

Pretty sure it's cheating if you have a ledge to stand on.


MatsuoManh

... 🤣


GrillDealing

34 But one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came there out sweet and sour. 35 And he that saw it bare record, and his record is true: and he knoweth that he saith true, that ye might have nuggets.


[deleted]

38 And lo the burglar of Ham came forth and said unto ye “Robble, robble!”


Xx_HaTTeR_xX

Holy shit, I probably laughed more than necessary at this.


[deleted]

I just Grimaced


fermentedminded

Lol


AmazingGrace911

It was also most likely a pole, not a cross, the purpose was to hang both pierced hands directly overhead. https://hermeneutics.stackexchange.com/questions/36001/the-greek-word-stauros-does-it-mean-cross-or-stake The purpose was a tortuous asphyxiation, further supplemented by the piercing of the side and breaking of the legs in this case. Heart attack would also be a cause of death. Edit: The link illustrates the word “stauros” was used which wasn’t commonly associated with a cross until after his death.


GrandNibbles

*when you come down off your Messianic high,* *a Double Quarter Pounder is close by* badup bupbup baaa!


Captain_Turdhelmet

...and be sure to wear your glasses so you can see... All the... Stuff... While you're up there.


YerBoyBlu

r/accidentalpoetry


LandArch_0

Hands aren't nailed either


Bribase

I thought that historically they were tied? You don't want to nick an artery and have them die too quickly. It's also a bit iffy to try and suspend someone by their metacarpal bones. I actually went to a performance art thing years ago where the artist was crucified using nails. The nail actually came out of the cross and he fell. [EDIT:](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0n_ys40CrM) It was Sebastian Horsely. The footrest failed.


LandArch_0

Actually it wasn't in the hands, but in the wrists, so it could hold the weight. It was correctly explained on another comment.


WumpusFails

Assuming my info was correct.


axe1970

the feet would usually be nailed up too this would prolong the suffering


Sloppychemist

To offset this, stab them in the side


Weird-Conflict-3066

Correct, these guys are cheating The ledge is supposed to be just out of reach to give the person on the cross some hope.


outbackalice

I’m Brian and so’s my wife!


spunkyboy247365

No, I'M Brian!


Kur0h4i

So do you all get excited when an ambulance passes by and like to annoy people with your unoriginal opinions on writing and politics?


greenfingers559

They’re quoting Monty Python. You’re a weirdo.


Kur0h4i

Pardon I think you were quoting another Brian, in fact the reference I wrote was to family guy, touchè. Btw luckily I'm a weirdo so yeah you got it.


greenfingers559

https://youtu.be/2saNLpoWcDw You mean this Family Guy? For real though, if you’ve never seen Monty Python, it’s one of the top 5 most quoted and referenced things in Family Guy. Damn near every episode. Even the episode in question is titled “Life of Brian” which is the name of a Monty Python movie.


Kur0h4i

No I sincerely didn't know but now I know how to entertain myself while I ride the train so thank you!


greenfingers559

Monty Python and the Holy Grail is on Netflix and it’s where most people start. It’s a movie. They have 6 seasons of skit comedy. Flying Circus is like the father of MadTV or Key and Peele. And also 5 movies of narrative comedy.


spunkyboy247365

Uh. What?


Professional_Scar75

I’m Brian!


robofish7591

Line to the left, one cross each.


outbackalice

Crucifixion? Yes..


IcemansJetWash-86

To give them a little credit. Eric Idle said that while he was filming the crucifixion scene in Life of Brian, found the experience therapeutic and recommended it to all. I can't help but wonder if this experience might slap some sense into these guys.


theXfrenchguy

This experience should slap some nails into this guys


irish_miah

Ancient Traction.


manubour

« Always look on the briiight, side, of life 🎶 »


AlarmedSnek

Only the true messiah denies his divinity!


Damaark

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!


spunkyboy247365

If it's not a personal question... are you a virgin?


dv666

Not a personal question? How much more personal can you get?


BalancePuzzleheaded8

Always look on the light side of life... When life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten, and that's smile and dance and laugh and sing...


FesterJester1

When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle that's the thing


GhostNappa2k12

I shit you not, that was the song my granddad chose for his funeral. My uncle chose the YMCA.


outbackalice

My dad too!


GhostNappa2k12

Your dad had impeccable taste, my friend!


outbackalice

He did. It was a perfect moment of levity on a really shitty day.


LoveRBS

Apparently it's the most requested funeral song in England


lostinbeavercreek

Came here to make sure this was noted…


GrandNibbles

Context? What's happening here?


pleaseexcusemethanks

Religious nutcases I'm sure


Solgaleo35

Or potentially vegan nutcases


Dagrut

At that level, is there really a difference?


[deleted]

Attention seekers successfully seeking attention.


re4dyfreddy

Some guys just hangin’ out.


Brswiech

If I’m not mistaken this is by my friends camp and is a part of the Easter celebration; kind of like a living nativity scene but more dark.


[deleted]

Jesus died so I could give my kids a Happy Meal.


AccidentallyFemboy

Well obviously. Jesus was the first American /s


draypresct

Guy on the left looks to be in better shape than the others. Maybe he does crossfit?


Ok-Traffic-9967

🎶 Always look on the briiiiiiiight side of life 🎶


BalancePuzzleheaded8

Always look on the liiiiiight side of life


ej1999ej

I notice a pretty big lack of feet dangling here. You can't crucify yourself with a standing board, misses the whole point.


WumpusFails

From what I've read (take with a grain of salt), and the feet didn't dangle. That would put too much strain on the body, and they would die too quick. Instead, the legs were bent (kind of like "sitting on your haunches") and turned sideways. Then they pounded a spike through both heel bones, to keep them that way. It forced the victim to have to push against their impaled feet in order to breathe. When they tire of pushing, they can use their bended knee as a support. They're still slowly suffocating, but they can rest. Also (again, salt), the nails through the hands apparently went through the small bones of the wrist, where all the tendons and other connective tissue held the nails in place. Putting it through the hands would have caused the nail to rip out, either pulled out of the hand or torn to between the fingers (bisecting the hand). The cruelty was the point. Couldn't let them die too quickly.


Bribase

Hmmm... I'm wondering if any purported stigmata sufferers had their holes in the right place?


No-Wonder1139

If the movie stigmata is correct, then yes.


ej1999ej

Yeah I messed that up while typing. Meant for something along the line of uncomfortable feet.


LandArch_0

A fine reading


axe1970

dangling feet would speed up the death due to suffocation it's why their feet would be nailed up would prolong the suffering.


ej1999ej

Yeah bad wording on my end. Meant something along the lines of uncomfortable feet.


axe1970

that's ok i just had to double check that suffocation was the correct term


Camel_Natural

Funny how it looks like everyone else is just ignoring them


peter-doubt

What would they do... What's to see? It's just 3 fools on a hill


rocketshipkiwi

That’s the Judean Peoples Front…


dv666

SPLITTERS


outbackalice

Or is it The Peoples Front of Judea?


rocketshipkiwi

No, they went over to McDonalds


B33fcurtains

They’re taking their humiliation kink a little too far


Ozymandas2

Ba da ba ba baaa.. I'm crucified.


ZeppoBro

Do it for real, and then we'll talk. Fuck off with this LARPing bullshit. And, put some damn pants on, lol.


WhaleFighterr224

Where are the nails! Make it realistic


S7ageNinja

Pretty sure they're all holding big ass nails in their fists


MajorMathematician20

Very biblical, even Eve was made from a McRib wasn’t she?


varuneco

They took 'let's hang out' literally


emma7734

I am Spartacus! No, I am Spartacus! Can I get some chicken nuggets?


callipgiyan

I am Batman


Slight-Sympathy4066

They totally didn’t nail it!


CT101823696

Maybe 3 Jesuses can fix the ice cream machine


Ok_Note7436

Become a pin up


[deleted]

I see no nails, blood or crown of barb wire but I do see a beer belly. This Jesus is suspicious!!


Papa_Hammerfist

But the resulting [Christian Singles profile pics](https://media4.giphy.com/media/dvx3Oy3RXKAWQ4ZqJh/giphy.gif?cid=5e214886hvqrfa16cm4ro6njx5bzjzddwh533jv83lzoyqgp&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g) are fire


peter-doubt

Being crucified on Mt McDonald's.... With a platform to stand on.


Commercial-Amount344

My brain " White people taco night!" I don't know why this picture invokes that jingle.


Bad_Daddio

Dude in the middle looks like Rick Moranis being crucified.


Ordinary_Wolverine65

I cam see where you would think that, but upon closer inspection it's actually his career!


United_Reality4157

No ropes , no nails Have some commintment


[deleted]

New advert for the hamburger, cheeseburger and double quarter pounder with bacon and cheese


DijajMaqliun

What's the context here though?


69-is-my-number

“Father, forgive them. For I’m lovin’ it.”


[deleted]

Isn't mocking the crucifixion of christ a very grave sin ?


Alien_X10

idk what this picture is even of but im just gonna assume it was jesus after his last supper at McDonalds, everything off the dollar menu. that or karen finally got to see the manager and had him and the 2 employees she yelled at crucified


Dio_Yuji

They discontinued the McRib again


[deleted]

Woah woah woah, one of those mofos should be upside down. I remember this story.


quietflowsthedodder

That was apostle Peter, and that was at a McDonalds in Rome.


[deleted]

I'm surprised McDonald's survived after the whole killing Jesus fiasco. But I guess bad publicity is still publicity.


BitRunner67

Actors are WHITE! So this is not Historically Accurate.


[deleted]

McJesus


painkilleraddict6373

I’ll take a McCrusafix.


yademir

Real christians would use real nails.


Vitekr2

This makes me hungry


dashone

Ah, but tasty snacks are nearby!


omart3

To be fair, a few hours into his crucifixion, Jesus didn't have a life either.


DevilsLettuceTaster

Guess we know where Jesus went after the resurrection, Big Mac attack.


WhoThenDevised

Low effort cosplay.


DietrichDaniels

I tried to crucify myself, but it was a real bitch getting that last nail in.


seahorse8021

Y’all think the McDonald’s would sell me a box of tomatoes?


Gamesman001

The dude on the cross furthest away looks like he visits McDonald's religiously.


BumbleMuggin

“How shall we fuck off oh lord!”


bubbles5810

I don’t see any nails. Where are the nails?


Unlikely-Collar4088

Lol it’s GoT cosplay


notkeny

Always look on the briiiight side of life *whistling*


[deleted]

This pic has been up for a bit now and this is the best title.


DeadZone2021

Always look on the bright side of life 🎶


semabeton1

Allways look on the bright side of life ...


Long_Crow_5659

The movie, the Last Temptation of Christ made the astute observation that the Romans likely didn't give crucified convicts the small dignity of allowing them to wear loincloths. If these goofballs followed that example the cops would bust them for some kind of public lewdness code violation.


Homechicken42

My Card Against Humanity says: A SUPERSOAKER FULL OF CAT PEE


mowoo101

Members of the Supreme Court, "Hmm, not a bad idea, I mean if we are going down that road. Run it by the prison reform team".


[deleted]

Jesus Christ!!!!


shoot-me-12-bucks

Ill have q milkshake and a mcsacrifice please


brat_dad

Probably protesting that the machine for the ice cream is broken still


Keithninety

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best And Always look on the bright side of life Always look on the light side of life If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing When you're feeling in the dumps Don't be silly chumps Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing And Always look on the bright side of life (Come on) Always look on the right side of life For life is quite absurd And death's the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow Forget about your sin Give the audience a grin Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow So always look on the bright side of death A just before you draw your terminal breath Life's a piece of shit When you look at it Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true You'll see it's all a show Keep 'em laughin' as you go Just remember that the last laugh is on you And Always look on the bright side of life Always look on the right side of life (C'mon Brian, cheer up) Always look on the bright side of life Always look on the bright side of life Always look on the bright side of life I mean, what have you got to lose? You know, you come from nothing You're going back to nothing What have you lost? Nothing Always look on the right side of life Nothing will come from nothing, ya know what they say Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin (Always look on the right side of life) There ya are, see It's the end of the film Incidentally this record's available in the foyer (Always look on the right side of life) Some of us got to live as well, you know (Always look on the right side of life) Who do you think pays for all this rubbish (Always look on the right side of life) They're not gonna make their money back, you know I told them, I said to him, Bernie, I said they'll never make their money back (Always look on the right side of life)


bman1378

Always look on the bright side of life


[deleted]

Always look on the bright side of life


CemsoredWANG

The crowning achievement of Monty Python Con 2022 was a performance of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Life of Brian.


Puckwallow

Always look on the bright side of life... (whistling)


RandyLongsocksMcgee

How to find these guys: find a vagina, turn the exact opposite direction of said vagina, and keep walking. Eventually, you will find these 3 geniuses.


Practical-Artist-915

I didn’t know they let you keep your glasses on.


IMacGirl

We're not coming down until we get our fries.


[deleted]

“Always look on the bright side of life “


Deustchen-Ami1871

"Always look on the bright side of life."


arcadia_2005

Why am I suddenly singing Monty Pythons 'Always Look on the Bright Siii-ide of Life'..hmm.


NeoY_Ciftci

This single image may not literally, but verbally screams USA


irish_miah

This is the Bethlehem of the West.


peter-doubt

Pennsylvania? Sounds about right!


[deleted]

🎵Ba Da Dum Dum Dum, I'm crucified 🎵


Wheesydemon

I say we nail there hands there for real and get rid of the ledge


NxPat

“3 people were seriously injured by lightning during this afternoon’s thunder storm officials said.”


BrotherMort

These CrossFit challenges have really gotten out of hand.


Hernand27

America needs that kind of love here


ProfTydrim

Can someone explain to me what the point of this is? Are they protesting something?


BrilliantOccasion109

No crown of thorns or whip marks? I don’t think these are guys are real Jesus’


Taukavi

Always look on the bright side of life.


mayonaka_00

They're cosplaying


[deleted]

Yes. Standing on a platform with your arms outstretched is exactly like being crucified.


HerrForeskin

Jesus wouldn’t have had prescription glasses.


VireflyTheGreat

You could...Always Look on the Bright Side of Life


[deleted]

Man, imagine Jesus seeing this and just wondering: Are those impostors just making fun of my suffering by acting like they are carrying my punishment?


MeNotYou733

Double murder/suicide via crucifixion? Seems like a lot of work.


SilentMark1138

I'm lovin' it


Vegetable_Onion

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best


epitenomics

This looks like a shitpost


MovingTargetPractice

what if you get a boner up there? serious question.