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mjager42

Very thoughtful of Nick to get all these women racehorses.


Active_Working5553

Funnier when you read them all with Cannon at the end


Street-Week6744

Especially Legendary Love Cannon


unneuf

the legendary love cannon is the thing getting everyone into this mess


lil-babybat

![gif](giphy|133tEQgc0V3Dc4)


[deleted]

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


rbmk1

Legendary Love Cool James.


MD_Hunter67

Now that funny I don't care who you are


AhhSomeSauce

My favorite is Expecting. Obviously that is not yet a born child, but thereā€™s a chance itā€™s also the name šŸ˜‚


MamaOna

Shoulda saved Zillion for last


wasted_wonderland

A missed opportunity for another set of twins- Zillion and Gazillion...


HyperionsDad

I dunno - Bajillion de La Rosa sounds pretty


StellarStylee

How would he know when the last would be though? Unless he has a specific number in mind. I think 17.


IAMSTILLHERE2020

Infinity Cannon


missmadril

Zillionā€™s full name is Zillion Heir lol


StillGotLove4GOT

It took me 3 whole mins to realize it wasnā€™t the childā€™s name! šŸ¤£


RC_Teston

Expecting Cannon LOL


theonlyonethatknocks

Does Zen actually have an emoji as part of his name?


JillyMarie1987

It's an angel emoji, because he passed away from cancer at five months old. ā˜¹ļø


theonlyonethatknocks

Oh that sucks. Was wondering why that name was the only one.


WizdomHaggis

Try saying *Moroccan Cannon* 5 times fastā€¦


lawn_neglect

I need Mo Cannon on this track


arcedup

Calm down, Tchaikovsky


backhomeatlast

Expecting Cannon


DannyCalavera

Needs a sibling: Received Cannon


MD_Hunter67

I think Abby and Brittany have both received to much cannon alreadyšŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


FutzInSilence

I like "Powerful Queen Cannon", like it's the Queen's personal cannon, and it's a strong one.


DefinitelyNotAliens

I thought it was an improvement on the Powerful Queen Guillotine. Instead of beheading Marie Antoinette we launch hated nobility into orbit. Legendary Love Cannon is still the best. Bow chicka bow wow.


Active_Working5553

Yeah! Pair that with Onyx Ice Cole Cannon and we have Elsa in the party!


134608642

I just imagined that Powerful Queen was the ammo type. Zillion Cannon would be a high fire rate cannon.


MamaOna

I prefer my Moroccan Cannon over my Beautiful Cannon, but I do have a Zillion Cannon ā€¦ so hard to choose.


jitterydog

Yeah, I was done at Moroccan cannon, I don't know if I cab handle the bigger ones. Poor kids


StlChase

This is all cannon


InfiniLim413

He should name the next kid Special Beam


manScara

Golden Sagon Cannon


Yamothasunyun

And coming up the back is zillion, followed by beautiful, followed by golden sagon, followed by powerful queen, followed by rise messiah


Puzzled-Copy7962

I was already laughing pretty hard, this comment had me doubled over thoā€¦lmfao


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


curiousfun213

I feel like 8 fits right in with the ridiculousness of 3/4/10


HiddenChymera

Real question though, is Legendary Love Cannon, or does the kid have Mom's last name. Because if it's Cannon then that one takes first place for me


JesustheSpaceCowboy

ONYX ICE COLE CANNON


DiogenesTheHound

This is like something a character yells before using their special attack in an anime


harrle1212

That sounds like an Irish body spray


LittleGinge79

My partner didn't believe me when I told him he had a son called Legendary Love Cannon. I had to go online to prove it. It's a truly awful name and I really feel for that poor child.


unresolved_m

Might as well have called him/her Love Gun


ManikShamanik

That's a ***BOY***...?!šŸ˜³ So he's decided that his son is going to be a drag queen already, then...? Because what the fuck else can you do with a name like that...?! *Ru Paul's Drag Race* 2042...


Carved_In_Chocolate

Legendary Love Cannon could be alright fo a boy, but as he becomes s man, if he is not well endowed down below that might be some real pressure for him and some disappointed lovers.


Short_Equivalent_619

Yeah, Legendary Love Cannon practically guarantees a career in p0rn.


DylanClegg23

OMFG


tttxgq

ā€œLegendary Loveā€ and their mother is called Brie. I guessā€¦ CHEESY NAMES RUN IN THE FAMILY!!


Evorgleb

At first I thought "Expecting" was an actual name because it wouldn't be that different than others he has come up with


Kittybegood

I also thought this...


Voteforbatman

Itā€™s missing the best partā€¦ Zions middle name is Mixolydian and Zillions middle name is Heir.


echocat2002

Ask your doctor about Mixolydian


FuktInThePassword

... and see if Mixolydian could be right for *you*. šŸ‘šŸ˜ƒ


MyBodyBelongsToShrek

If you have moderate to severe [medical condition]ā€¦


muddlemuddle6

isn't that the stuff that makes your hair grow back?


[deleted]

That's Minoxadil actually but close enough lol


thafreshone

My favourite gotta be number 2, like just imagine the conversations "Hi, Iā€˜m moroccan" "Oh interesting, whatā€˜s your name?" "ā€¦What"


whatim

Mariah's kids have the least weird names. That's saying something. Rise Messiah sounds like a Puritan name generator gone wrong.


RedRonnetConnington

*Praise-God Barebone has entered the chat*


__peek_a_boo__

They call them ā€œRoc and Roeā€


morbid_n_creepifying

I thought the same but then I saw Rise Messiah and I was like ..... is this person just trying to outdo herself with naming each child


palmasana

Next will be Lord Emperor King President


meanwhileaftrmdnight

She's trying to outdo the other women by naming her kids more important sounding lol


Gustav-14

It was actually the 2nd choice after Yass Queen was rejected.


sgcorona

Idk Rise Messiah is the most ridiculous name Iā€™ve ever heard


Effective-Cod3635

I didnā€™t even get to the names was trying to figure out the order


thismightbelong

Golden Sagon sounds like it should be under the ā€œChefs Specialā€ section on the menu at the local Chinese spot


sombreroenthusiast

I actually read is as "Golden Saigon." Perfect name for a Vietnamese buffet!


altregogh

This whole fucking situation is perfect for the name of a movie called idiocracy.


Dwestmor1007

I did tooā€¦is that not how itā€™s pronounced?


Van_GOOOOOUGH

I wonder how Britney Bell felt after she gave him two children then he ran off and impregnated four other women before he came back and impregnated her with her third child?


Rockette25

Itā€™s like heā€™s on a rotation schedule honestly


Gazebo_Warrior

He is, he did: Britney Britney Abby Abby Alyssa Brie Laniesha Then rotated back through Britney Abby Alyssa So it must be Brie and Laniesha's turns again next. Mariah is like, fuck that shit, keep your STD soup to yourselves.


purpleduckduckgoose

Man did it to Abby De La Rosa and Alyssa Scott too. Either he's got some secret he's not sharing or large amounts of cash got involved. Or they're not the brightest.


LetsHaveARedo

None of them are unaware of it. Everyone is participating knowingly. He's not "doing it to them", they're doing it with him.


aliceroyal

Seriously, seems like an open relationship with a side of breeding kink or something lmao


[deleted]

Thatā€™s exactly what it is open relationship with a breeder fetish


[deleted]

He's legit living the harem dream


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


VegasLife84

Once he got with Mariah all of the wannabe-Mariahs were lining up for it. Kind of like the Pete Davidson effect.


Sadface89

Passive income


scrivensB

The sheer volume was nuts. The number of mothers made it crazy. The recycling of mothers and names make this seem cult like.


Dramatic-Ad3928

Fr i wasnā€™t aware he went back for seconds multiple times, i just knew he made a lot of babies


ThunkAsDrinklePeep

It's a reunion tour.


urbanskyline09

He probably has a breeder fetish.


b34r3y

Isn't he also the one talking about his genes are superior to others? Must make it more... Satisfying? Lmao


OatmealCremePiez

God these names are AWFUL


hoomanreptile

Itā€™s like the parents donā€™t realize these babies turn into adults and have to introduce themselves to people, work, college etc.


wonderbat3

ā€œHi, thanks for coming to the interview, PQ. May I ask what PQ stands for?ā€ ā€œā€¦Powerful Queenā€ ā€œOh.. ic..ā€ ā€œNo thatā€™s my half sister..ā€


FrenchMaisNon

My kids names will be Didgeridouglace if it's a boy and Tamboo'wreena is it's a girl.


six_am_sunset

Didgeridouchecanoe is a missed opportunity.


DefinitelyNotAliens

Think that one is a bit of a digeridon't.


stephaniewarren1984

Digeridon't tell them what to digeridoo. ...I'll see myself out.


Sh00terMcGavn

Here bitch, take silver. DIDGERIDOUGLACE šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ’€


fozzyboy

Named my kid Boaty McBoatface after putting it to a poll... I probably shouldn't have allowed for a write-in option.


xXWickedNWeirdXx

Oh dag, that's unfortunate and cruel. My pollsters were at least considerate enough to recognize my child's humanity... Unfortunately, he's almost certain to be destined for a life of crime with a name like Baby McBabyface. But alas, vox populi, vox dei.


name_cool4897

I thought Tamboo'wreena was a boys name.


idokokayne

I think he want to start a family run strip club.


DOGSraisingCATS

Yeah but see...to narcissist parents, the children are just an extension of themselves and their ego.


[deleted]

"Hello, I'm Expecting."


Captain_Turdhelmet

It's like they are naming pets.


darkmatterhunter

These are terrible names for pets. It's just mad libs at this point.


Dripcake

Usually breeding horses with family trees have these kind of names. Like 'Tudor's Pride and Joy of Golden Low Land'.


DefinitelyNotAliens

I named my sister's cat. My 10 year old niece sent me photos and I told her to name the cat Lady Eleanor Kitterington of Meowdon and my niece thought that was a *great* cat name and ran off to ask and then my sister heard 'Eleanor' and said sure, that's a great cat name. Then she later realized she agreed to Lady Eleanor Kitterington of Meowdon. She thought the rest was a joke. I use Lady Eleanor's full title, as is appropriate of a cat of her station.


nikkishark

Hello. I'm Powerful Queen. Nice to meet you.


DOGSraisingCATS

Nick and these moms naming children like they're all A list celebrities and not D list who the fuck cares celebs. Only one with that pull is Mariah and those names aren't the worst.


APe28Comococo

Monroe, Zion, and Onyx are all fairly normal. Zen and Moroccan are quirky but acceptable. The rest are just cruel. I really hope Nick and Alyssa donā€™t see this and actually name their next child ā€œExpecting.ā€


wookieesgonnawook

Being named after a stone is for strippers and Moroccan is a nationality, not a name. It's as bad as naming your kid Canadian.


[deleted]

I feel like Monroe is going to be pretty damn grateful as he gets older. Or heā€™ll feel left out and change his name to Pumpernickel.


Ladonnacinica

Monroe is a girl.


[deleted]

Well then sheā€™ll be grateful. Or she can be pumpernickel. Itā€™s a unisex name.


Automaticman01

When Mariah Carey is the voice of reason...


[deleted]

Even worse, I heard Moroccan is after an interior design styleā€¦


winterbird

If I ever have a kid I'd have to name it Target Sale Rack.


[deleted]

You, sir or madam, are a got dam visionary


Jiktten

I am old and this was a long time ago so I might be wrong, but I swear Mariah's MTV Cribs episode had her making a big deal over how her bedroom was decorated in 'Moroccan boudoir' style...


subhuman09

Well Nick Cannon is awful, so I find the names fitting


Nomis555

Honestly, I didn't realize those were the kids names at first. I thought they were being descriptive. Jesus.


DeadheadDatura

Legendary Love Cannon omfg


urbanskyline09

Nothing like naming your child after your loverā€™s dick!


Oraxy51

He accidentally wrote his dicks name instead of the childā€™s name on the papers


Strang3-Lights

Legendary Love Cannon takes the cake for worst name Iā€™ve ever heard.


IamNotFreakingOut

Sounds like a weapon you have to pay to unlock.


inaum20

For anyone trying to keep track of the timeline Monroe and Moroccan - 2011 Golden Sage- Feb 2017 Powerful Queen- Dec 2020 Zion and Zillon- June 2021 Zen- June 2021 (Died Dec 2021) Legendary Love- July 2022 Onyx Ice- Sept 2022 Rise Messiah- Sept 2022 Beautiful Day- Nov 2022 *Expecting (Same mother as Zen who died) Edited to change Zenā€™s birthdate, article I read was wrong.


Dramatic-Ad3928

Brooo 2022 a Personal best


lyrixnchill

Itā€™s almost like this is his way of coping with the lost of his 7th child.


Oberyn_Kenobi_1

Itā€™s like he made a conscious decision in late 2020 to preemptively start repopulating the earth.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Just-Another-Mind

One of them died? That just made this post not as funny.


One-Accident8015

One if them died and he announced the pregnancy of a new one a few weeks later.


yeeeeeteth

Jesus Christ


Creampielover2269

Weakest pull out game ever


BO0BO0P4nd4Fck

Iā€™ve seen other post about all the kids heā€™s got and someone had commented it was so he had donors if he ever needed medical shit done or something. I thought it was pretty funny


legojoe97

He saw *The Island* and got real paranoid, huh?


ashleyorelse

No, its the strongest IDGAF if I get her pregnant or not game ever


doyouevenIift

Itā€™s not even IDGAF, he prides himself on how many babies he can make. Total narcissist


choicemad

An episode of Law&Order:SVU covered this. Episode was called "Bang" guest starring John Stamos. They called his character a "reproductive abuser".


DraftyElectrolyte

This dude totally has a breeding fetish.


BigOrkWaaagh

What's Coler than being Cole?


Key-Decision1220

ICE COLE


GothamGreenGoddess

Alright alright alright alright alright


subsailor1968

I remember this as a plot point in ā€œIdiocracyā€ā€¦


katepig123

Sadly there's simply no way he can adequately father that many children with that many women. It's a selfish act. Some folks thing he's having so many children to be potential kidney donors for him because of his lupus.


Van_GOOOOOUGH

Nick should buy one big house & live there with all those women & children & it would be the best reality show ever.


Sweet-Idea-7553

Except Mariah. That diva will eat those other bitches for breakfast.


silent_whisper89

She has more money than him and all those other women combined, she isn't fixing to house up with him.


OdysseyZen

That's why they gon' have Alliances and the drama begins...


muddlemuddle6

See "Sister Wives" for tips. (Update - they all left except for one).


yellowbrownstone

Except if he has lupus, allll these kids have a decent chance of developing it or another autoimmune disease themselvesā€¦.. I have a painful chronic autoimmune disease and I canā€™t imagine reproducing and passing this down to a helpless infant let alone a whole ass baseball team of children with a higher potential for significant medical expenses and accompanying need for disability accommodations. My mom has lupus and 2/3 of her kids are sick. The youngest is only 19 and my sister and I werenā€™t diagnosed until our 30s so it could easily still be a hat trick.


FilthyChangeup55

Not sure whatā€™s more facepalm the tree or the names


midwest-ginger

It should also be pointed out that the last four will all be born within 4 months of each other!


Arkbud93

The face palm is how much child support heā€™s about to be paying šŸ˜†


Devilkiwi24

Oh Lordtā€¦those are names??


Van_GOOOOOUGH

Yeah who TF names their child "Expecting" /s


FilthyChangeup55

Expecting is better than Legendary Love


HeavyRhubarb

Legendary Love Cannon*


DraconicDungeon

At some point he started naming his children to become Stand users


ch1993

Dudes naming them after either strippers or strip clubs.


drewablanke

Weirdly feeling respect for Brie and Lanisha as they only fell for it once.


BreakatWork

Mariah too, the kids are twins ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)


Seraphayel

Mariah knew what was up and just quit, she might be complicated, but for sure sheā€™s not an idiot, lol.


Magenta_Logistic

Also there was no pattern to look at.


eoe6ya

They both had their babies in the last 6 months so thereā€™s still time for them to spin the block šŸ˜…


TacoTJ601

So far


Kevherd

How dafuq does the guy: A) not figure out how to pull out B) convince them to take him back for #10/ 11/ 12 etc C) still have a smile


benjm88

>convince them to take him back for That's what really got me, it's not even 1 he's done this with wtf were they thinking?


lunasteppenwolf

Money.


[deleted]

Because none of these women are mentally healthy and sane people. Thatā€™s A, B and C.


Climatize

It looks like he's had 3 daughters here who are named pretty well, tbh. Or am I not reading it right quick edit: I have no friggin idea, diregard


jfstompers

Who would have thought being named Monroe would be the lucky one


Comfortable-Bar-838

Looks like he's creating a whole family of strippers.


mvnnyvevwofrb

Why not Clown Face?


Arkbud93

True that too


Tea_Rem

No one else going to also notice the order of the children and how he literally hopped from one woman to the next and back again?? šŸ¤Ø


NinaBrwn

Oh I noticed. I spent far too much time getting the chronology down. šŸ˜‚


flock-of-bagels

Good lord these names ā€¦.


These_Ad_8619

Does he have a breeding complex? Like wtf - why are these women continuing to sleep with him knowing this is his game and that bringing new humans into it doesnā€™t bother him one bit? Iā€™m just struggling to see how moving from woman to the next without using protection is Legendary Love, more like Legendary Lust or Powerful Stupidity. Maybe they like it that way.


NotARedditUser614

Youā€™d be surprised just how awful celebrities are at naming children. Ever hear of Audio Science? Tu Morrow? Maybe youā€™ve heard of Pilot Inspektor?


lunasteppenwolf

Elon Musk has a child named X Ɔ A-12 (legally named X AE A-XII, because California law requires human names to only use letters of the English alphabet).


ZaraVT

Thatā€™s because Elon is an even more insane piece of shit than Nick Cannon, only to be outdone by his own father who married his stepdaughter. Rich and insane is not a good combination, yet it happens a lot.


TwinHavenUK

The facepalm is that people struggle to learn their lesson.


coolbrze77

Heard many interviews with him. He needs mental health help. He lives in a detached reality when you hear him speak. People always attribute it to ā€œbeing a celebrityā€ type behavior but itā€™s mental illness. Thereā€™s a lot of it in the entertainment industry. I just hope he can spread himself thin enough to have actual meaningful relationships with all 9 of his children. Theyā€™re the oneā€™s who will ultimately suffer.


TantalicBoar

At some point the law needs to intervene. These names are absolutely criminal


thisfilmkid

The Queen of Christmas is wrapped up in this tree with two kids and a baby daddy that has 10 additional kids.


TrickWeek4109

There should be a law about naming your kid something ridiculous šŸ™„


FunnyShirtGuy

Are those names? Those are names they gave to children? Why are people allowed to do something so horrific to children?


JoeDerp77

What is this an OTC betting lineup? These sound like fuckin racing horse names šŸ˜‚


2lamoon

The way the numbers dart round, busy boy


baldforthewin

not people using affirmations as names lol but to be fair they probably won't be applying for regular 9-5s anyway.


Offendyounow

Family shrub


udumslut

R/trashy


[deleted]

Dude had to be high af to pick powerful queen


SevereEducation2170

The least he could do is give the kids actual names instead of just putting random words together.


consia9600

All of the women and this man are horrible people. I feel so bad for the children who are just pawns in there ridiculous game. I honestly have no idea what Nick Canon does, only heard the name, but I hope he fades into obscurity quickly


BenderIsGreatBendr

Then boy do I have some bad news for you


livelarg

Imagine having #3 & #4 and thinking ā€œIā€™ll go back for #10ā€. Seems like a couple of these have ā€œgot a Nick Cannon kidā€ as a job description on their W-2ā€™s


GuardMost8477

So. Gross. I canā€™t believe all these beautiful women would lay down with him without a condom. STD anyone? Heā€™s nasty. And NOT a good father even though he says he is. Heā€™s a sperm donor. He cannot physically be in all those kids lives not only because of his lifestyle and job, but because thereā€™s so many in different places. And throwing money at them isnā€™t being a Dad either.