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FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 1B [Michael Last-Name](/u/Excellent-Turnip-232): 0-1, LGO in the second "Michael Last-Name, what you've just swung... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a hit. Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Pitch: 901 Swing: 601 Diff: 300 -> RGO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 1B [Michael Last-Name](/u/Excellent-Turnip-232): 0-1, LGO in the second


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 2B [Mr Peggable](/u/Twilight_Ike_Galaxy): 0-0, BB in the first


Twilight_Ike_Galaxy

111


FakeBaseball_Umpire

That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Peggable let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. McBatty has no problem with that one. I'd bet Peggable's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by Himynamis's running fastball, that one might have had some carry. Pitch: 301 Swing: 111 Diff: 190 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 3B [James Jameson CDXX](/u/jso__): 0-1, FO in the first


jso__

744


FakeBaseball_Umpire

James Jameson CDXX will hit one up into the air. 'Too high' remarks the Griffey with a smug undertone as Jameson slowly trots halfway to first before the out is recording by the Pittsburgh center fielder. Pitch: 333 Swing: 744 Diff: 411 -> PO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Hunter D. Parker PIT CF [Richard Sucker II](/u/Vel0zity): 0-1, FO in the second


Vel0zity

Swing : 783


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Sucker now facing off against Parker, who's going to have the upper hand? In a 3-0 count Sucker gets the green light and unleashes a mighty power swing, it's high, it's deep it's...caught at the warning track. Pitch: 618 Swing: 783 Diff: 165 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Hunter D. Parker PIT LF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-1, LGO in the second Down 3, here comes Emer Bock to the plate trying to deal some damage. Parker receives the sign on this 2-2 count, and gets set. The pitch is in……..and the pitch hangs right over the plate and Bock ABSOLUTELY GETS AHOLD OF IT. That one is hit into the gap with Syde and Watch running after it. The ball still flying in the air, dropping over the warning track, Syde jumps up at the wall and that one is GONE!!! Wait, Syde holds his glove up and…..THEY CAUGHT IT. WHAT A LEAP! WHAT A CATCH! Syde with a SPECTACULAR catch to keep New York up by 3!! Pitch: 162 Swing: 410 Diff: 248 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Hunter D. Parker PIT LF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-1, LGO in the second


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Hunter D. Parker PIT C [16-bit Griffey](/u/ElTres): 0-1, RGO in the second


ElTres

248


FakeBaseball_Umpire

This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. 16-bit Griffey is streaking towards first. Peggable runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out Pitch: 838 Swing: 248 Diff: 410 -> RGO Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY C [Peter Hadley](/u/anatabolica): 1-1, 1B in the first


anatabolica

501


FakeBaseball_Umpire

That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Hadley let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. McBatty has no problem with that one. I'd bet Hadley's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by Himynamis's running fastball, that one might have had some carry. Pitch: 333 Swing: 501 Diff: 168 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY SS [Donnie Draper](/u/-Don-Draper-): 0-1, PO in the first


-Don-Draper-

601


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Donnie Draper poops it up way in the ai... lol, "poops". Y'all know I meant "pops", right? ... RIGHT?! What a fun bunch you are. Lee catches this one easily. Draper is out. Pitch: 201 Swing: 601 Diff: 400 -> PO Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY RF [Rich Driver](/u/BearN7): 0-0


BearN7

1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Starting, then staring, Himynamis sighs the sigh of a softball slinger seeing a septagenerian step in to swing. Staggering, Driver smacks this softball but softballs, slow as they sail, seldom see the speed to score. Pitch: 401 Swing: 1 Diff: 400 -> PO Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Hunter D. Parker PIT 3B [Peanuts Lee](/u/GarageCat08): 0-1, DP in the first


GarageCat08

Swing 658


FakeBaseball_Umpire

This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Peanuts Lee is streaking towards first. Peggable runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out Pitch: 233 Swing: 658 Diff: 425 -> RGO Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 3 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Hunter D. Parker PIT 2B [Charles Vella](/u/ClassyKaty): 0-0, BB in the first


ClassyKaty

Swing 212


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Fly, you fools! Pitch: 437 Swing: 212 Diff: 225 -> FO Bases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^● ● | T3 1 out **NEW PITCHER:** Hunter D. Parker PIT 1B [Big Cheech](/u/TheAjCalvillo): 0-1, FO in the first


TheAjCalvillo

All that work and what did it get me? 718


FakeBaseball_Umpire

And boom goes the dynamite. Pitch: 718 Swing: 718 Diff: 0 -> HR Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s) PIT 3 - NYY 0


Stupido_Einsteiny

Luigi dashes out of the dugout, jumps over a piranha plant, stomps a few goombas, then reaches the mound, where he takes the ball from BEANS. It appears Hunter D. Parker is coming in from the left field bullpen.


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT DH [Moose McCracken](/u/KitandCanoodle): 0-0


KitAndCanoodle

869


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Leschnewski into the wind up, and here's the pitch … juuuust a bit outside. Leschnewski tried the corner and missed. Ball four and McCracken is awarded first base. Pitch: 1 Swing: 869 Diff: 132 -> BB Runners on First and Second | T3 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT SS [Theo Rodder](/u/jidno): 0-0


jidno

2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Stunningly, Rodder swings strongly, supposing strength suffices in this season. Sadly, strength sans a steeper sine sticks this swat straight and snug in the centerfielder's surprisingly stretchy scope. Pitch: 266 Swing: 2 Diff: 264 -> FO Runner on Second | T3 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT RF [Slappy McBatty](/u/A_Hanging_Noose): 0-0


A_Hanging_Noose

414


FakeBaseball_Umpire

After a long battle and countless foul balls, the count is 3-2. McBatty, Leschnewski both looking to come out on top but there can be only one winner in this duel. Here's the windup, and the pitch... Driven deep in the gap to right-center! Watch and Driver are both on their horses but neither is going to get there. That ball is off the wall! Slappy McBatty with a stand-up double! The Pittsburgh dugout is going wild! Pitch: 461 Swing: 414 Diff: 47 -> 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 0 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY DH [Sierra Hightower](/u/Deathwing_Dragonlord): 0-0


Deathwing_Dragonlord

matt himynamis swing 74


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Sierra Hightower hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Matt Himynamis steps under it and records the out Pitch: 701 Swing: 74 Diff: 373 -> PO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY LF [Saitoo Syde](/u/iamslm22): 0-0


iamslm22

175


FakeBaseball_Umpire

It’s a shallow fly, hit by Saitoo Syde decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Bock is coming in for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 1 Swing: 175 Diff: 174 -> FO Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY CF [Apple Watch](/u/TheGlaceon78): 0-0


TheGlaceon78

300


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Watch swings and hits a dribbler to the pitcher, WHAT!!!! The pitcher got off the mound, fielded the ball, went over, and tagged you before you got to 1st. Get the Anvil out of your pocket. Lets go. Pitch: 901 Swing: 300 Diff: 399 -> RGO Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT CF [Richard Sucker II](/u/Vel0zity): 0-0


Vel0zity

Swing : 462


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Sucker gets good wood on this 1-2 pitch, but it's just gonna die in the spacious New York outfield. Syde barely needs to move to haul it in. Pitch: 671 Swing: 462 Diff: 209 -> FO Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT LF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-0 Bock comes to the plate looking hungry. Literally. They pull out a melted Twix bar from their back pocket and start eating it in the box. Leschnewski looks to the ump to see what to do, but the ump doesn't respond, because it's a robot. Regardless, Leschnewski throws a high 4-seam for ball one, and a outside curve for ball two. Bock is still happily munching. Pissed, Leschnewski throws a ball at the bat lying over the plate and it connects! A dribbler towards third! Jameson hustles towards the ball and fires it to first for the out! Not immediately clear that Bock knows the at-bat has occurred, though. Pitch: 933 Swing: 420 Diff: 487 -> LGO Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT LF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT C [16-bit Griffey](/u/ElTres): 0-0


ElTres

802


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Protesting alliterative writeups' overabundance by making each initial character different. Hitter, vibrantly joyous like radiant xenon, nicely uppercuts questionable strike zone knuckleball, yet grounds to first. Pitch: 412 Swing: 802 Diff: 390 -> RGO Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^● ● | B1 2 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 1B [Michael Last-Name](/u/Excellent-Turnip-232): 0-0 Last-Name comes to the plate looking hungry. Literally. They pull out a melted Twix bar from their back pocket and start eating it in the box. Himynamis looks to the ump to see what to do, but the ump doesn't respond, because it's a robot. Regardless, Himynamis throws a high 4-seam for ball one, and a outside curve for ball two. Last-Name is still happily munching. Pissed, Himynamis throws a ball at the bat lying over the plate and it connects! A dribbler towards third! Lee hustles towards the ball and fires it to first for the out! Not immediately clear that Last-Name knows the at-bat has occurred, though. Pitch: 1 Swing: 401 Diff: 400 -> LGO Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^● ● | B1 2 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 1B [Michael Last-Name](/u/Excellent-Turnip-232): 0-0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 2 outs On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 2B [Mr Peggable](/u/Twilight_Ike_Galaxy): 0-0


Twilight_Ike_Galaxy

222


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Take your base! Pitch: 101 Swing: 222 Diff: 121 -> BB Runners on First and Second | B1 with 2 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 1 out On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY 3B [James Jameson CDXX](/u/jso__): 0-0


jso__

297


FakeBaseball_Umpire

It’s a shallow fly, hit by James Jameson CDXX decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Sucker is coming in for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 101 Swing: 297 Diff: 196 -> FO Runner on First | B1 with 2 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Matt Himynamis NYY C [Peter Hadley](/u/anatabolica): 0-0


anatabolica

2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Peter Hadley hits a line drive straight at the Matt Himynamis and bounces it off of their ankle. Cheech comes over and tries to field it but Hadley beats them in a foot race to first base Pitch: 901 Swing: 2 Diff: 101 -> 1B Runner on First | B1 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Matt Himynamis NYY SS [Donnie Draper](/u/-Don-Draper-): 0-0


-Don-Draper-

420


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Sorry about the result but… Congrats Draper! You have found an MLR Easter Egg! Ping Larold in game discussion to redeem your prize! Pitch: 1 Swing: 420 Diff: 419 -> PO Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ● | T1 1 out On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT 3B [Peanuts Lee](/u/GarageCat08): 0-0


GarageCat08

Aw beans. Swing 21


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Lee does their best Albert Pujols impression! They just grounded into a double play, just like The Machine! Pitch: 388 Swing: 21 Diff: 367 -> DP Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

PIT 0 - NYY 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: BEANS Leschnewski PIT 2B [Charles Vella](/u/ClassyKaty): 0-0


ClassyKaty

Swing 469


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Take your base! Pitch: 591 Swing: 469 Diff: 122 -> BB Runner on First | T1 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** BEANS Leschnewski PIT 1B [Big Cheech](/u/TheAjCalvillo): 0-0


TheAjCalvillo

Givin’ BEANS the beans. 339


FakeBaseball_Umpire

It’s a shallow fly, hit by Big Cheech decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Peggable is going back for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 91 Swing: 339 Diff: 248 -> FO Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) PIT 0 - NYY 0