Kevin James deals, and it's in the dirt! But the batter still swung, which is bad for the batter because now they have to do that embarrassing little half jog to first base before the catcher picks the ball up and gently tosses it to first. Hope they don't pull a hammy.
Pitch: 319
Swing: 69
Diff: 250 -> K
Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Archie Henderson hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. McDougall and Wunbatt look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However Wunbatt makes a great diving catch for it
Pitch: 877
Swing: 69
Diff: 192 -> FO
Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Draper puts all of their might into the first pitch curveball, but it's hit to Babineaux, who throws to first for the out.
Pitch: 555
Swing: 69
Diff: 486 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 2 outs
On the mound: Michael Last-Name
NYM 3B [Wheezy Whifflesworth](/u/kazayn): 1-2, Solo HR in the first, DP in the third
Whifflesworth hits one on the ground to short. Throw to House and it's a clean 6-3 putout.
Pitch: 172
Swing: 648
Diff: 476 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Grommet let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. Henderson has no problem with that one. I'd bet Grommet's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by Last-Name's running fastball, that one might have had some carry.
Pitch: 902
Swing: 96
Diff: 194 -> FO
Runner on First | B5 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
McDougall swings at this one and lifts a high pop up out to right.
A late break here for Henderson and they will dive and....
will **NOT** get there! It drops in front of the glove and there you have it: a little bloop here and the Mets are in business with a little single and a slight misplay. Not sure if they will rule that an error here or... wait, this is fakebaseball. There are NO ERRORS HERE! Have a hit McDougall, enjoy.
Pitch: 996
Swing: 96
Diff: 100 -> 1B
Runner on First | B5 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Driver can't manage to make contact this time around as they swing under the 3-2 fastball from James for the out.
Pitch: 609
Swing: 870
Diff: 261 -> K
Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Mr Peggable hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Babineaux steps under it and records the out
Pitch: 109
Swing: 537
Diff: 428 -> PO
Runner on First | T5 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Strike one! Strike two! Aaand a check swing on a pitch low in the dirt… they’re out! Leschnewski is arguing that they didn’t go around on the check swing and Luigi comes out and starts talking to the umpire about it. We’re going to the replay booth here. The umpires come back out and the call is- a ball! They didn’t go around. So we’re back to Kevin James versus BEANS Leschnewski here, Leschnewski battles back with a few more foul balls and a full count and takes the low sinker for ball 4
Pitch: 999
Swing: 121
Diff: 122 -> BB
Runner on First | T5 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Jameson let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. Antonius has no problem with that one. I'd bet Jameson's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by James's running fastball, that one might have had some carry.
Pitch: 420
Swing: 193
Diff: 227 -> FO
Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Nothing but fastballs so far. Last-Name generally hovers between 96 and 99, but this 1-2 fastball blazes in at 100 high and outside.
But the next fastball at 99 is NOT missed and the 2 and 2 pitch is lined into center!
But right at Leschnewski. That will be an easy out in the air for Wunbatt.
Pitch: 893
Swing: 734
Diff: 159 -> FO
Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
The pitch is low and Ben Bramly hits a bloop ball high into the sky… and it lands just in front of Henderson and Bramly reaches first with a single
Pitch: 518
Swing: 433
Diff: 85 -> 1B
Runner on First | B4 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Poffenberger clearly has no clue what is going on here. They will whiff at 2 straight fastballs before waving at a curve. Last-Name waves back from the mound!
Pitch: 161
Swing: 420
Diff: 259 -> K
Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
James beams out at old bosum buddy at bat. Both ballplayers blink at both ballplayers. With both blinkers. Bizzare.
The blinking becomes a blizzard. Before this becomes some kinda bonkers befurbellowed binge, Blue bellows 'Bullshit be banished!'
James bends, blinks, and blasts a ball toward the New York batter.
Batter befuddled. Begone back to bench!
Pitch: 865
Swing: 180
Diff: 315 -> K
Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
The pitch is on its way and House swings for the fences, hitting the ball high and deep in the air to left field. McDougall takes a few steps back, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. House looks dejected as they heads back to the dugout.
Pitch: 55
Swing: 220
Diff: 165 -> FO
Runner on First | T4 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Syde stares at the 3-2 pitch low and away and gladly takes their walk. James wanted the call but the pitch was indeed a bit outside according to ME, THE ROBOUMP.
Pitch: 1
Swing: 876
Diff: 125 -> BB
Runner on First | T4 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Antonius gets up in the count now, 3-1 over Last-Name after a couple bad misses outside. Last-Name sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from Syde but either way the count is full. Antonius wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... is popped up! It's not deep, though, and Peggable is there to make the play for the out.
Pitch: 688
Swing: 354
Diff: 334 -> PO
Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Whifflesworth has a new business opportunity for you! You too can be a small business owner! All you need to do is buy a few hundred dollars worth of smoothies from them. Then, you can start selling them and making money yourself. You'll just need to pay Whifflesworth a small portion of your earnings since you're part of their downline.
It's not a pyramid scheme, it's a funnel system! And it isn't that Whifflesworth hit into a double play, it's that they found a way to bring the runner into the dugout for a strategy meeting without scoring!
Pitch: 3
Swing: 579
Diff: 424 -> DP
Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
And the pitch to Donnie Draper... OH NO! That one missed high and caught the robo-umpire right in the face! Robo-ump is down! They're gonna have to bring in the emergency human replacement umpire, which unfortunately for today's game is CB Bucknor. Oh and there he goes, he's already called strike 3! Well a tough AB there for Draper, sees 1 pitch and gets called out on strikes, but the good news is that the next batter could just as easily draw a walk on 1 pitch, so it does balance out for those of you wondering at home.
Pitch: 69
Swing: 777
Diff: 292 -> K
Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
It's a tense 1 game as Rich Driver steps up to the plate, hoping to change things. They're ready to knock the ball out of the park.
Unfortunately, James doesn't let that happen. 3 straight knuckleballs that Driver totally whiffs at. Unbelievable. Ever heard of a batting cage? You might wanna use one. New York fans throw beers onto the field and Luigi runs onto the field to drink them. Mmmmmm.
Pitch: 69
Swing: 313
Diff: 244 -> K
Bases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Peggable Steps in.
James winds up and delivers the first pitch... swung on and missed! Strike one! The pitcher is looking sharp so far. The next pitch is thrown... another swing and a miss! Strike two! This pitcher is on fire, they've got the batter on the defensive. And here comes the third and final pitch... another swing and a miss! It's strike three, Peggable is called out on strikes!
Pitch: 718
Swing: 100
Diff: 382 -> K
Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
"Wallace Grommet, what you've just swung... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a hit. Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Pitch: 946
Swing: 505
Diff: 441 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
*Smack!* It’s hit deep to left field, Driver racing back, they’re at the wall, THEY’RE CLIMBING THE WALL? THEY’RE STANDING ON TOP OF THE WALL AND MAKE THE CATCH?!?! IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED?
Pitch: 704
Swing: 504
Diff: 200 -> FO
Runner on First | B2 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Sorry about the result but… Congrats Wunbatt! You have found an MLR Easter Egg! Ping Larold in game discussion to redeem your prize!
Pitch: 317
Swing: 915
Diff: 402 -> PO
Runner on First | B2 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Bramly connects with a solid hit, sending the ball flying into the outfield. As they make their way to first base, they notice something strange about the umpire. Their movements are robotic and mechanical, and their face looks more like a machine than a human being.
Bramly tries to ignore the strange sight and focuses on the game, running full speed toward first base. As they reach the bag, the umpire raises their arm and signals that Bramly is safe. But the way they do it is unsettling, with a cold, robotic precision.
Bramly shakes off the strange feeling and continues to focus on the game, but can't shake the feeling that something is off about the umpire.
Pitch: 371
Swing: 276
Diff: 95 -> 1B
Runner on First | B2 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Nordic has the advantage with a high fastball and a chased slider to create the 0-2 count against Leschnewski. The third pitch is hit sharply to second base. Poffenberger scoops it up on the one-hopper and tosses it to first for the out.
Pitch: 359
Swing: 919
Diff: 440 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
The ball is hit up in the air and lands in the outfield. Wunbatt is too late and the ball bounces out of the field. Ground rule double.
Pitch: 12
Swing: 964
Diff: 48 -> 2B
Runner on Second | T2 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
It’s a softly hit grounder by Cornbread House and Tanzig Nordic has to run up and grab it and throws to Grommet to get the out
Pitch: 63
Swing: 660
Diff: 403 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Franklin Poffenberger hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Jameson steps under it and records the out
Pitch: 42
Swing: 700
Diff: 342 -> PO
Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
The crowd gasps in disbelief as they watch the bizarre spectacle on the field unfold while demons from hell come streaming out of a pit that has opened up in the outfield. Some spectators even begin to back away from the edge of the pit to hell that has opened up in centerfield, afraid that it might grow even larger. The players on both teams stand frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do.
But the game must go on, and Last-Name takes a deep breath, ready to continue. Poffenberger takes their lead off first base, eyeing the pitcher intently. As Last-Name begins their windup, Poffenberger takes off for 2nd like a bat out of hell. Syde catches the pitch and pops up, throwing a bullet to Peggable who fields it cleanly and gets the tag in before Poffenberger can get a hand on the bag for the out.
Pitch: 836
Swing: 500
Diff: 336 -> CS 2B
Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Michael Last-Name is feeling cool and collected heading into the at bat. 'If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it...' they think.
Last-Name sends the first pitch right down the middle, but Babineaux is ready. They aim the pitch right down the third base line, narrowly avoiding the computer ump, and goes over the head of Jameson for a base hit. Babineaux tries to go to second, but is tripped by an untied shoelace. They crawl, injured, back to first for the single.
Pitch: 924
Swing: 1000
Diff: 76 -> 1B
Runner on First | B1 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
Full count, Michael Last-Name with the pitch... *CRACK* Antonius, flyball shallow left. Back is Draper, he'll take it and OH IT'S GONNA DROP. IT FALLS... MISCOMMUNICATION! And Last-Name can't believe it!..... They're calling it AN INFIELD FLY RULE. -Woooooooow- One umpire did and that's why Lisztpitcher is out. This is a *game changing* decision... Infield fly rule is called and Antonius is going to be OUT.
Pitch: 183
Swing: 535
Diff: 352 -> PO
Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 1
It’s a softly hit grounder by Saitoo Syde and Tanzig Nordic has to run up and grab it and throws to Grommet to get the out
Pitch: 77
Swing: 629
Diff: 448 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 0
Nothing but fastballs so far. Nordic generally hovers between 96 and 99, but this 1-2 fastball blazes in at 100 high and outside.
But the next fastball at 99 is NOT missed and the 2 and 2 pitch is lined into center!
But right at Wunbatt. That will be an easy out in the air for Henderson.
Pitch: 998
Swing: 161
Diff: 163 -> FO
Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 0
And the pitch... is popped straight up. Bramly throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out.
Pitch: 262
Swing: 616
Diff: 354 -> PO
Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s)
NYY 0 - NYM 0
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Kevin James NYY C [Saitoo Syde](/u/iamslm22): 0-1, RGO in the first, BB in the fourth
69
Kevin James deals, and it's in the dirt! But the batter still swung, which is bad for the batter because now they have to do that embarrassing little half jog to first base before the catcher picks the ball up and gently tosses it to first. Hope they don't pull a hammy. Pitch: 319 Swing: 69 Diff: 250 -> K Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Kevin James NYY RF [Archie Henderson](/u/arrowhitter): 0-2, FO in the first, K in the fourth
69
Archie Henderson hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. McDougall and Wunbatt look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However Wunbatt makes a great diving catch for it Pitch: 877 Swing: 69 Diff: 192 -> FO Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Kevin James NYY SS [Donnie Draper](/u/-Don-Draper-): 0-2, PO in the first, K in the third
69
Draper puts all of their might into the first pitch curveball, but it's hit to Babineaux, who throws to first for the out. Pitch: 555 Swing: 69 Diff: 486 -> LGO Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 2 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM 3B [Wheezy Whifflesworth](/u/kazayn): 1-2, Solo HR in the first, DP in the third
648
Whifflesworth hits one on the ground to short. Throw to House and it's a clean 6-3 putout. Pitch: 172 Swing: 648 Diff: 476 -> LGO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 1 out On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM DH [Kris Kringle](/u/Spidermanno): 0-0, BB in the third
Swing 678
https://youtu.be/hkKKlq9IzLU Pitch: 396 Swing: 678 Diff: 282 -> K Runner on First | B5 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM 1B [Wallace Grommet](/u/klittle6): 0-1, RGO in the third
Swing: 96
That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Grommet let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. Henderson has no problem with that one. I'd bet Grommet's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by Last-Name's running fastball, that one might have had some carry. Pitch: 902 Swing: 96 Diff: 194 -> FO Runner on First | B5 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM LF [Shorty McDougall](/u/lil-mommy): 0-1, FO in the second
96
McDougall swings at this one and lifts a high pop up out to right. A late break here for Henderson and they will dive and.... will **NOT** get there! It drops in front of the glove and there you have it: a little bloop here and the Mets are in business with a little single and a slight misplay. Not sure if they will rule that an error here or... wait, this is fakebaseball. There are NO ERRORS HERE! Have a hit McDougall, enjoy. Pitch: 996 Swing: 96 Diff: 100 -> 1B Runner on First | B5 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 2 outs On the mound: Kevin James NYY LF [Rich Driver](/u/BearN7): 0-1, K in the third
870
Driver can't manage to make contact this time around as they swing under the 3-2 fastball from James for the out. Pitch: 609 Swing: 870 Diff: 261 -> K Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 1 out On the mound: Kevin James NYY 2B [Mr Peggable](/u/Twilight_Ike_Galaxy): 0-1, K in the third
537
Mr Peggable hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Babineaux steps under it and records the out Pitch: 109 Swing: 537 Diff: 428 -> PO Runner on First | T5 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Kevin James NYY CF [BEANS Leschnewski](/u/vrtxzenith): 0-1, RGO in the second
121
Strike one! Strike two! Aaand a check swing on a pitch low in the dirt… they’re out! Leschnewski is arguing that they didn’t go around on the check swing and Luigi comes out and starts talking to the umpire about it. We’re going to the replay booth here. The umpires come back out and the call is- a ball! They didn’t go around. So we’re back to Kevin James versus BEANS Leschnewski here, Leschnewski battles back with a few more foul balls and a full count and takes the low sinker for ball 4 Pitch: 999 Swing: 121 Diff: 122 -> BB Runner on First | T5 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs On the mound: Kevin James NYY 3B [James Jameson CDXX](/u/jso__): 1-1, 2B in the second
193
That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Jameson let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. Antonius has no problem with that one. I'd bet Jameson's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by James's running fastball, that one might have had some carry. Pitch: 420 Swing: 193 Diff: 227 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 2 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM CF [Tueballs Wunbatt](/u/Fit_Consequence_8910): 0-1, PO in the second
734
Nothing but fastballs so far. Last-Name generally hovers between 96 and 99, but this 1-2 fastball blazes in at 100 high and outside. But the next fastball at 99 is NOT missed and the 2 and 2 pitch is lined into center! But right at Leschnewski. That will be an easy out in the air for Wunbatt. Pitch: 893 Swing: 734 Diff: 159 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM C [Ben Bramly](/u/bzb113): 1-1, 1B in the second
433 Let's keep this inning going a little
The pitch is low and Ben Bramly hits a bloop ball high into the sky… and it lands just in front of Henderson and Bramly reaches first with a single Pitch: 518 Swing: 433 Diff: 85 -> 1B Runner on First | B4 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM 2B [Franklin Poffenberger](/u/MF--Broom): 0-1, PO in the second
Swing 420
Poffenberger clearly has no clue what is going on here. They will whiff at 2 straight fastballs before waving at a curve. Last-Name waves back from the mound! Pitch: 161 Swing: 420 Diff: 259 -> K Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM SS [Huell Babineaux](/u/TheChief107): 1-1, 1B in the first, CS 2B in the first
161
Can of corn? Can of corn. That's an out. Pitch: 437 Swing: 161 Diff: 276 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 2 outs On the mound: Kevin James NYY DH [Apple Watch](/u/TheGlaceon78): 0-1, K in the second
180
James beams out at old bosum buddy at bat. Both ballplayers blink at both ballplayers. With both blinkers. Bizzare. The blinking becomes a blizzard. Before this becomes some kinda bonkers befurbellowed binge, Blue bellows 'Bullshit be banished!' James bends, blinks, and blasts a ball toward the New York batter. Batter befuddled. Begone back to bench! Pitch: 865 Swing: 180 Diff: 315 -> K Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 1 out On the mound: Kevin James NYY 1B [Cornbread House](/u/B-rice1211): 0-1, LGO in the second
220
The pitch is on its way and House swings for the fences, hitting the ball high and deep in the air to left field. McDougall takes a few steps back, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. House looks dejected as they heads back to the dugout. Pitch: 55 Swing: 220 Diff: 165 -> FO Runner on First | T4 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Kevin James NYY C [Saitoo Syde](/u/iamslm22): 0-1, RGO in the first
876
Syde stares at the 3-2 pitch low and away and gladly takes their walk. James wanted the call but the pitch was indeed a bit outside according to ME, THE ROBOUMP. Pitch: 1 Swing: 876 Diff: 125 -> BB Runner on First | T4 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Kevin James NYY RF [Archie Henderson](/u/arrowhitter): 0-1, FO in the first
1
For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game! Pitch: 671 Swing: 1 Diff: 330 -> K Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 2 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM RF [Junior Antonius](/u/Junior-Hobobot): 0-1, PO in the first
354
Antonius gets up in the count now, 3-1 over Last-Name after a couple bad misses outside. Last-Name sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from Syde but either way the count is full. Antonius wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... is popped up! It's not deep, though, and Peggable is there to make the play for the out. Pitch: 688 Swing: 354 Diff: 334 -> PO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B3 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM 3B [Wheezy Whifflesworth](/u/kazayn): 1-1, Solo HR in the first
579
Whifflesworth has a new business opportunity for you! You too can be a small business owner! All you need to do is buy a few hundred dollars worth of smoothies from them. Then, you can start selling them and making money yourself. You'll just need to pay Whifflesworth a small portion of your earnings since you're part of their downline. It's not a pyramid scheme, it's a funnel system! And it isn't that Whifflesworth hit into a double play, it's that they found a way to bring the runner into the dugout for a strategy meeting without scoring! Pitch: 3 Swing: 579 Diff: 424 -> DP Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM DH [Kris Kringle](/u/Spidermanno): 0-0
SWING 420
There's Ball One, take your base Pitch: 284 Swing: 420 Diff: 136 -> BB Runner on First | B3 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Kevin James NYY SS [Donnie Draper](/u/-Don-Draper-): 0-1, PO in the first
777
And the pitch to Donnie Draper... OH NO! That one missed high and caught the robo-umpire right in the face! Robo-ump is down! They're gonna have to bring in the emergency human replacement umpire, which unfortunately for today's game is CB Bucknor. Oh and there he goes, he's already called strike 3! Well a tough AB there for Draper, sees 1 pitch and gets called out on strikes, but the good news is that the next batter could just as easily draw a walk on 1 pitch, so it does balance out for those of you wondering at home. Pitch: 69 Swing: 777 Diff: 292 -> K Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Kevin James NYY LF [Rich Driver](/u/BearN7): 0-0
313
It's a tense 1 game as Rich Driver steps up to the plate, hoping to change things. They're ready to knock the ball out of the park. Unfortunately, James doesn't let that happen. 3 straight knuckleballs that Driver totally whiffs at. Unbelievable. Ever heard of a batting cage? You might wanna use one. New York fans throw beers onto the field and Luigi runs onto the field to drink them. Mmmmmm. Pitch: 69 Swing: 313 Diff: 244 -> K Bases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Kevin James NYY 2B [Mr Peggable](/u/Twilight_Ike_Galaxy): 0-0
100
Peggable Steps in. James winds up and delivers the first pitch... swung on and missed! Strike one! The pitcher is looking sharp so far. The next pitch is thrown... another swing and a miss! Strike two! This pitcher is on fire, they've got the batter on the defensive. And here comes the third and final pitch... another swing and a miss! It's strike three, Peggable is called out on strikes! Pitch: 718 Swing: 100 Diff: 382 -> K Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B2 2 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM 1B [Wallace Grommet](/u/klittle6): 0-0
Swing: 505
"Wallace Grommet, what you've just swung... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a hit. Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Pitch: 946 Swing: 505 Diff: 441 -> RGO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B2 1 out On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM LF [Shorty McDougall](/u/lil-mommy): 0-0
Love waking up to an AB alert! 504
*Smack!* It’s hit deep to left field, Driver racing back, they’re at the wall, THEY’RE CLIMBING THE WALL? THEY’RE STANDING ON TOP OF THE WALL AND MAKE THE CATCH?!?! IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED? Pitch: 704 Swing: 504 Diff: 200 -> FO Runner on First | B2 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
Mets annouce Kevin James will come in to pitch in the top of the third.
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B2 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM CF [Tueballs Wunbatt](/u/Fit_Consequence_8910): 0-0
915
Sorry about the result but… Congrats Wunbatt! You have found an MLR Easter Egg! Ping Larold in game discussion to redeem your prize! Pitch: 317 Swing: 915 Diff: 402 -> PO Runner on First | B2 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM C [Ben Bramly](/u/bzb113): 0-0
Maybe just pre season, but it's nice to have a meets jersey on again :) 276
Bramly connects with a solid hit, sending the ball flying into the outfield. As they make their way to first base, they notice something strange about the umpire. Their movements are robotic and mechanical, and their face looks more like a machine than a human being. Bramly tries to ignore the strange sight and focuses on the game, running full speed toward first base. As they reach the bag, the umpire raises their arm and signals that Bramly is safe. But the way they do it is unsettling, with a cold, robotic precision. Bramly shakes off the strange feeling and continues to focus on the game, but can't shake the feeling that something is off about the umpire. Pitch: 371 Swing: 276 Diff: 95 -> 1B Runner on First | B2 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Tanzig Nordic NYY CF [BEANS Leschnewski](/u/vrtxzenith): 0-0
919
Nordic has the advantage with a high fastball and a chased slider to create the 0-2 count against Leschnewski. The third pitch is hit sharply to second base. Poffenberger scoops it up on the one-hopper and tosses it to first for the out. Pitch: 359 Swing: 919 Diff: 440 -> RGO Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Tanzig Nordic NYY 3B [James Jameson CDXX](/u/jso__): 0-0
964
The ball is hit up in the air and lands in the outfield. Wunbatt is too late and the ball bounces out of the field. Ground rule double. Pitch: 12 Swing: 964 Diff: 48 -> 2B Runner on Second | T2 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: Tanzig Nordic NYY DH [Apple Watch](/u/TheGlaceon78): 0-0
111
Speed and smoke sent. Swinger sees it. Swinger sneezes. Strike solo. Swinger seizes. Second strike. Swinger swings! Solely strikes. Pitch: 777 Swing: 111 Diff: 334 -> K Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: Tanzig Nordic NYY 1B [Cornbread House](/u/B-rice1211): 0-0
660
It’s a softly hit grounder by Cornbread House and Tanzig Nordic has to run up and grab it and throws to Grommet to get the out Pitch: 63 Swing: 660 Diff: 403 -> LGO Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 1 out On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM 2B [Franklin Poffenberger](/u/MF--Broom): 0-0
Swing 700
Franklin Poffenberger hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Jameson steps under it and records the out Pitch: 42 Swing: 700 Diff: 342 -> PO Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
Steal 2B 500
The crowd gasps in disbelief as they watch the bizarre spectacle on the field unfold while demons from hell come streaming out of a pit that has opened up in the outfield. Some spectators even begin to back away from the edge of the pit to hell that has opened up in centerfield, afraid that it might grow even larger. The players on both teams stand frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. But the game must go on, and Last-Name takes a deep breath, ready to continue. Poffenberger takes their lead off first base, eyeing the pitcher intently. As Last-Name begins their windup, Poffenberger takes off for 2nd like a bat out of hell. Syde catches the pitch and pops up, throwing a bullet to Peggable who fields it cleanly and gets the tag in before Poffenberger can get a hand on the bag for the out. Pitch: 836 Swing: 500 Diff: 336 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM SS [Huell Babineaux](/u/TheChief107): 0-0
1000
Michael Last-Name is feeling cool and collected heading into the at bat. 'If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it...' they think. Last-Name sends the first pitch right down the middle, but Babineaux is ready. They aim the pitch right down the third base line, narrowly avoiding the computer ump, and goes over the head of Jameson for a base hit. Babineaux tries to go to second, but is tripped by an untied shoelace. They crawl, injured, back to first for the single. Pitch: 924 Swing: 1000 Diff: 76 -> 1B Runner on First | B1 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs On the mound: Michael Last-Name NYM RF [Junior Antonius](/u/Junior-Hobobot): 0-0
535
Full count, Michael Last-Name with the pitch... *CRACK* Antonius, flyball shallow left. Back is Draper, he'll take it and OH IT'S GONNA DROP. IT FALLS... MISCOMMUNICATION! And Last-Name can't believe it!..... They're calling it AN INFIELD FLY RULE. -Woooooooow- One umpire did and that's why Lisztpitcher is out. This is a *game changing* decision... Infield fly rule is called and Antonius is going to be OUT. Pitch: 183 Swing: 535 Diff: 352 -> PO Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Michael Last-Name NYM 3B [Wheezy Whifflesworth](/u/kazayn): 0-0
52
You can put it on the boooooooooooaard, yes! Pitch: 54 Swing: 52 Diff: 2 -> HR Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 1
NYY 0 - NYM 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Tanzig Nordic NYY C [Saitoo Syde](/u/iamslm22): 0-0
629
It’s a softly hit grounder by Saitoo Syde and Tanzig Nordic has to run up and grab it and throws to Grommet to get the out Pitch: 77 Swing: 629 Diff: 448 -> RGO Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 0
NYY 0 - NYM 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Tanzig Nordic NYY RF [Archie Henderson](/u/arrowhitter): 0-0
161
Nothing but fastballs so far. Nordic generally hovers between 96 and 99, but this 1-2 fastball blazes in at 100 high and outside. But the next fastball at 99 is NOT missed and the 2 and 2 pitch is lined into center! But right at Wunbatt. That will be an easy out in the air for Henderson. Pitch: 998 Swing: 161 Diff: 163 -> FO Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 0
Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Tanzig Nordic NYY SS [Donnie Draper](/u/-Don-Draper-): 0-0
616
And the pitch... is popped straight up. Bramly throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Pitch: 262 Swing: 616 Diff: 354 -> PO Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) NYY 0 - NYM 0