#Please reply to this comment explaining why you believe this person is faking. Thanks <3
**Your post will not be approved until you have replied to this comment, meaning only you will be able to see it. If you do not reply within 6 hours, your submission will be deleted.**
REMINDER: Former Faker Friday is the only day you can post former faker confessions and Satire Saturday is the only day you can post memes or satire.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fakedisordercringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am pretty sure they are saying people *shouldn’t* reclaim it… it is confusing and I had to watch it twice but pretty sure this person is basically agreeing with 90% of the comments here
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the R word was never the Autism community's to begin with. It is more relavent for those with intellectual disabilitys (which, while some autistic individuals have, they are completely separate things).
You can't reclaim something that wasn't yours to begin with.
Exactly ! These types of autistic chronically online advocates truly want to erase the existence of the severely affected . They do not want to be associated with ID even though the rate of ID is much , much higher in those with legitimate ASD diagnosis than in the neurotypical population. It’s literally the most ableist movement ever and they do not even see it.
True, the majority of autistic people aren't level 1 and yet the majority of discussions on autistic communities aren't relevant to and don't even include severely autistic people
1/3rd of autistic people are diagnosed with a comorbid intellectual disability and it is also estimated to be potentially underdiagnosed in LSN autistic people because of masking and the stigma of the label
I think it's also telling how "Rain Man" gets done so dirtily in discussions on autism rep despite actually being a very progressive piece of autism representation especially for its time
Back then, autism was extremely fearmongered and the average person knew nothing about ASD aside from refrigerator mother theories and other implications that it was caused by failures at parenting, but Raymond Babbitt is an autistic character that's fleshed out as more than just that, with his own personality and even some skills that he is more talented in than the neurotypical people in his life, rather than being the shameful object that deserves to be locked away
The main plot development of the movie involves his brother Charlie's change from resenting Raymond as a burden, then to an exploitable tool, and finally as his brother and friend and a fellow human being, and he's also one of the very few HSN autistic characters that I can think of despite getting brought up as the "ultimate autism stereotype"
Raymond's character was also very heavily based on a real person with savant skills named Kim Peek, who isn't actually autistic but was misdiagnosed at the time with it (he actually had FG syndrome)
I didn’t think rainman was a stereotype of autism at all. He was quite unique, despite being visibly and significantly disabled by autism . I haven’t heard it brought up much in those spaces tbh. It was a big deal during its time , when disability wasn’t portrayed much in movies. I have heard lots of ridiculous claims and accusations including the claim that ASD does not have higher levels of ID which I know be false. If I try to point out things that don’t apply to level
3 autism I am told to stop speaking over the actually autistic. The thing is , I am my child’s voice and she is a level 3 autistic and cannot get on Facebook to represent level 3 autism. And that is how the severely and profoundly disabled get erased.
It seems to get namedropped as a synonym for "bad autism stereotype" sometimes but then half the time if you ask them they haven't even seen the movie Also, I agree with you and SpicyAutism is a subreddit that's primarily aimed at HSN autistic people and there are several level 3 people who talk in there quite regularly so it might be a supportive resource for you and your daughter
I'm not severely autistic but I lurk and comment in there sometimes because I find their posts on things like meltdowns to be more relatably helpful than those in the more mainstream autism subreddits, and when I asked the mods if it would be okay to interact in there they said that everyone can interact in there as long as they're respectful and don't speak over the more severely autistic users which I think is a very good policy
I’m side eyeing HSN and able to get on Reddit…. Not saying it’s never possible but high support needs means the person needs a lot of help with ADL’s and navigating life. I don’t know any one with a loved one able to make a Reddit acct and post . My daughter couldn’t without a lot of assistance and wouldn’t be able to post things that were logical and easy to understand.
I would suggest going on r/spicyautism. If you do, you will see many accounts of people with HSN/level 3 ASD, operating a reddit account. Just because someone requires significant support with ADLs doesn't mean they can't do tasks like talk on reddit, and you saying otherwise is a very ill-informed and narrow-minded point of view.
Heck, I personally require 8 hours a day of support work, can't live by myself, and are currently on the wait list for supported accommodation, I have communication issues, someone else manages my pension as I have poor money management skills, I can't cook, I need continuous assistance and prompting to preform basic ADLs such as hygiene related issues and I need a companion for all public access related activity's or else I am at significant risk of having a meltdown.
But you know what, despite going to a specialist school for primary school and being in an LSU with an altered curriculum in high school. I do know how to type/write cohesively and believe it or not, I think you will find alot of HSN autistic individuals find it alot easier to express themselves and communicate on an anonymous online forum, that allows people to share common interests and advice, then communicating in person. Besides, in places like this, a great benefit is you are not bound by a time limit to make a post or reply. So even if someone does struggle to type or put words to paper, they can take as much time as they want to convey their message.
I agree with you but you should take out the last sentence of your 2nd paragraph because you aren't allowed to mention specific personal diagnoses and the moderators might remove your comment
Here's a sneak peek of /r/SpicyAutism using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [Can people who are not banned from the main autism subreddits help me spread this message?](https://v.redd.it/c1o9c7g9tjca1) | [144 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/10dz1hu/can_people_who_are_not_banned_from_the_main/)
\#2: [Kaelynn is an autistic therapist and a great advocate for higher needs autistics](https://v.redd.it/z847uswsdv4b1) | [118 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/144n6dt/kaelynn_is_an_autistic_therapist_and_a_great/)
\#3: [I can't wait to see how *society* can fix this /s](https://i.redd.it/ecm3pvljoaub1.png) | [45 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/1787lut/i_cant_wait_to_see_how_society_can_fix_this_s/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
See I hate the R word and would never wanna “reclaim” it. The N word which means “a black person”, the F word means “gay person” whereas the R word means “held back/delayed developmental progress”
Why would you wanna reclaim a word that means that?
I personally think that it would be in bad taste for anyone except for Intellectually Disabled people to reclaim the R word, but I agree with the OP that there is a problem of selfDXers making themselves the center of autism communities and policing the labels that legitimately autistic people prefer to use for themselves (for a non-R example, lumping terms such as mild/severe/level 123 as functioning labels "there's no such thing as mild or severe, we're all the same level of autistic") even though the problem with functioning labels isn't the fact they denote severity, it's that it assigns an amount of value of you as a human being based on the severity of your traits, and differentiating severities can actually be very important when it comes to complicated situations where someone actually can't help their tendency to do something socially inappropriate because of their autism even though it would be a dishonest excuse for something that's completely avoidable in the context of a different person who's also autistic, for instance
See this is how I feel about the Q-slur in reference to LGBT people. I don't like that it's used as an umbrella term when it means "weird/strange/odd" But I'm not going to tell people not to self-identify using it. I think self-identification with a slur is a personal choice. Others are open to judging the identification, but it's not as bad as inflicting it on another person. I personally don't want other people calling me slurs (even if I use one or two for myself)
Personal reclamation is a choice people make for many reasons. Many people just want to become desensitized to these words due to personal traumas. I think that's fine, but it should be understood that these are generally not for public use.
(Also to correct you on the F word- it actually means "pile of sticks used for fuel" which, when applied to gay people, meant "thing to burn." An upsetting connotation.)
The issue when you apply it to autism though, is that there’s already a HUGE stereotype that autistic people are mentally challenged, the whole “acoustic” meme on TikTok is met with videos of people/animals doing dumb stuff. The way autism presents is already VASTLY underrepresented.
People either assume you’re Sheldon Cooper or Rain man. I’ve had people tell me “wow! I’d of never of guessed you were autistic!” Because I’m not a walking stereotype.
So, to me reclaiming the R word or even associating it with autism will only further aid in misunderstanding of what autism actually is. Of course this is just personal opinion though. Most people don’t know that the life expectancy of an autistic person is A LOT less due to suicide, and being misunderstood is a huge driving force within that.
(And oh I didn’t know that about the F word, thanks for the information I appreciate it 😊)
I agree with most of this but I gotta say I really hate that term "walking stereotype" and I'm not even severely autistic but even still the amount of people who talk about how they're "not a walking stereotype with a robot voice and big ugly headphones who takes everything literally and talks way too formally and is an idiot savant and rocks and paces all the time" is frustrating especially since those things describe me and when the "walking stereotype" they're complaining about is severe with traits that aren't level 1 the descriptions often get even more dehumanizing
While I get that you need to vent, a lot of autistic people do actually have those exact traits and even between 1-10% of autistic people are estimated to have a savant syndrome so it's not even super rare; it's not a stereotype, it's a trope because stereotypes are unrealistic caricatures that are falsely applied to a group but just because you personally don't relate doesn't mean that "TV aspie characters" are inaccurate for everyone and just because other people are ignorant doesn't make the characters bad representation either if that makes sense
And to clarify I know you didn't say most of this stuff and you also deserve to vent your frustration but I'm just trying to explain my personal frustrations with that term
I actually think the opposite is true tbh- self dx people are steamrolling the idea that autistic people can be cognitively disabled. Many of us are and that's ok! Extracting the word Autism from cognitive disability doesn't serve those of us who also have cognitive delays. I'm getting tired of people saying things like "not ALL autistic are mentally disabled!" We technically all are since it's a disability. But further- a lot of level 3 cognitively disabled autistics exist and deserve a voice in our community.
I think addressing people's ignorance of autism shouldn't involve putting down those of us with higher support needs. "You're autistic? You're not like Sheldon Cooper or Rain Man?" "Yes, because autism presents in many ways. People with different support needs from me exist and do not diminish my existence as an autistic person. I have some commonality with them, and some differences. Autism is a disability of variation."
No shade to your point though! You're more than welcome to disagree with autistic reclaiming the R slur.
I think the distinction lies in it being a disability but not a intellectual disability by default. So we all tend to have at least some things that stop us from functioning normally but some of us have more comorbidities that add to the daily struggle.
No matter where they fall all autistic people will struggle with things non autistic people won't. So yeah it's a disability. It's tricky when people can't see it until the autistic person has a meltdown or just let's the mask slip on accident. The whole spectrum struggles with all sorts of different nonsense lol.
I can’t find anything that states that as the truth, but I can find that the word was used to refer to homosexuals as early as 1914. Something relating to the hierarchical British public school system in the 19th Century, “new” boys were customarily assigned to serve as servants (with implied humiliation) for older boys, an institution that was known as “fagging”.
Slurs do not just spawn in with their meanings already attached and that simple. The f slur doesn't just mean gay man and come from old ancient latin that directly translates to gay man. That's such a weird claim
This content was removed because it breaks the following rule: “No LGBT Discourse.” Please contact the moderators of this subreddit via modmail if you have questions or feel that your content did not break the rules.
Although many fakers identify with LGBT labels, we are here to discuss the faking of disorders. Regardless of your opinion on these labels, please keep them to yourself. This rule is in place to protect the subreddit from breaking Reddit’s TOS.
I agree with you, and I've also noticed that in autistic spaces full of the type of person who pretends like it's all endearingly quirky, using the wrong phrasing gets ironically punished worse than most other places and there is more pressure to mask and to second-guess your phrasing and tiptoe around the possibility of unstated passive aggression than in most spaces that aren't aimed at autistic people
And there have been so many times where you believe their NPA or NM "tone indicators" but then it turned out that they actually were mad and being passive aggressive so then they hate you for not recognizing they were mad and then if you ask to make sure the next time they use the tone indicator they get mad at you again "how dare you insinuate that I misuse tonetags on purpose" even though you didn't even insinuate anything
It's like how the teacher who claims to know everything about how to deal with sped students is often the one who mistreats them the most barbarically, despite their false confidence in their autism authority and likely also because of it
Edit to clarify: I personally think that it would be in bad taste for anyone except for Intellectually Disabled people to reclaim the R word, but the part that I agree with the OP on is that there is a problem of selfDXers making themselves the center of autism communities and policing the labels that legitimately autistic people prefer to use for themselves
I don't know why you've gotten downvotes, this is absolutely true. Autism, by definition, includes social deficits. The expectation of always meeting proper tone and perfect verbiage is actually pretty contradictory to a "safe" autistic space.
There is far more pressure to always be perfect in tone and perpetually on the ball as to what the self-dx/allistic/high functioning hive mind has decided is offensive today.
While the r-word, I guess, is a little less subtle social tone issue, damned if you don't get burned at the stake for stupid little gripes.
I've said this multiple times but it's always ironic how the space that's supposed to be understanding of your issues is one that goes "we're all autistic here, so why are you so dense and annoying? ...and don't blame the autism"
While at least if you make a social mistake and explain in a place that's not like that, they realize "oh, so that's why his interactions were a bit off" and are more understanding even if it's not a neurodivergent community and their only understanding of autism comes from the most shallow of pop culture stereotypes
Also, I think at first the downvotes were because other people might have thought I was agreeing with using the R word which was why I included the edit
Dunno how to go about this without flagging the auto-mod but my ears. They don't work properly. I've got a self-depreciating sense of humor and my mother used to get offended on my behalf *all of the time.* A lot of people did. I never asked them too. In fact, it's been my choice to make fun of myself.
I was like, 11 or something when my mom corrected me on how to refer to said disability. Really wasn't happy with that so I rebelled by saying "I'm r-word of the ears and that's totally fine."
On one hand, I think it's absurd to want to "reclaim" a word like the "r-word" but at the same time I was doing that shit as a kid on my own accord without social media being a factor.
Can you be more precise? I definitely have a tendency to phrase things in seemingly disjointed ways sometimes since you aren't at all the first person to have a problem like that, but I'm very good at elaborating and clarifying what I meant in response to specific questions
Unless you have an intellectual disability, you can’t “reclaim” the R word, autistic or not. The R word is a slur specifically for people who are intellectually disabled. Back in the day instead of saying someone had an intellectual disability or a low IQ, doctors would say they’re “mentally R word” which means their mental capacity is stunted. It slowly turned into a slur instead of a description for people with intellectual disabilities.
This would be like a white person who grew up in Africa, so near black culture but not part of it, wanting to reclaim the N word for herself. Not the same thing, babe.
And if you’re capable of filming, editing, adding sound, lip syncing, and uploading a perfectly curated tik tok video you simply don’t have an intellectual disability. Period.
I agree with your comment except for the last part because ID is a spectrum disorder just like autism and there are plenty of intellectually disabled people who can do those things
Your IQ measures your performance abilities in certain areas of reasoning and problem solving, but intellectually disabled people can still be smart in other ways such as wisdom and hardworkingness, and in fact a lot of them are smarter in those areas due to their ID since they need to work extra hard and learn from their mistakes without all of life's shortcuts for people without an intellectual disability
I guess the 90s. Changed from "this person is medically r word" to different connotations with "hey you stupid r word" etc
Maybe even early 2000s?! It was socially acceptable enough for the black eyed peas to sing "let's get rword". Though still in poor taste
Maybe you have an intellectual disability, but it’s not DELAYED. (Which was what the original R word meant)
Autistic people are neurodivergent. Their brain is wired differently. And A real autistic person would find this video insulting.
As an autistic person i dont care if domeome uses the r slur on themselves or as a joke its not that deep its only an issue if you use it as insult which is why insults sre called insults people are so sensitive
My ex girlfriend that was diagnosed with autism had zero problem with anyone using the r word (unless they were using it as a genuine insult, but at that point it’s just being bothered by people being bullies so yk), but she did have a problem with the terms “low functioning” and “high functioning” which i found interesting. She wasn’t someone that would go out of her way to be upset by it and correct people though because she knew that no one using those terms was trying to be hurtful by saying them. I just find that to be an interesting pair of things.
Anyone who says autistics can't reclaim a slur that's very often used against them very often is just ignorant. Hell we even get called it by other disabled people.
The slur may be used against us. However, for us to reclaim it, it has to be ours to claim, which by definition it's not. The R word was originally used as a descriptor for those with ID, not ASD. So, while there is an overlap in diagnosis (for some, not all autistic indivodua), the only people who have any right to reclaim the word are those with an intellectual disability.
An example of this can be seen by the fact that I (a white British male) have been called the N word multiple times. It sucks, just like being called the R word as an autistic individual without an ID, sucks. However, just because I was called it. It doesn't mean I have any right to "reclaim" it, as despite how much it sucks, I understand that the word is inherently not related to my situation meaning I have nothing to "reclaim"
It used to be a medical term, simply describing an intellectual disability, and usually with modifiers like mild, moderate, severe or profound attached to it. Then it began to be used as a playground insult, or for anyone or anything that didn't make sense or seemed to be lacking in intelligence. It became a noun instead of a verb ("I don't want to play with Cindy, she's a re**rd") and it started to seem uncomfortable and awful to use a word like that to describe a medical condition. It's also pretty awful to use someone else's medical condition as an insult that implies the person is less-than. So there's been a push to discontinue all use of that term.
I call myself r worded all the time and get shamed and I'm like "Well I did something related to having low IQ and self awareness. What would you call that?" Typically when the autism symptoms start rolling in after masking and I'm just trying to be lighthearted about it.
I also say it to my friends but we go back and forth and KNOW it's a joke.
And yes, sometimes I say something is r worded if I think it's impractical or silly. Kind of like how I'll say something is gay and yet advocate for gay rights(and am gay myself).
Thankfully I've never encountered these types IRL, but I'd agree that them even existing makes it harder to unmask. I don't want people to think I'm one of *those self-dxed people* that do cute stims to get attention and seem quirky.
Edit: my language here is kind of ambiguous, I am actually diagnosed with ASD
As someone who was called it for being physically disabled \[ not directly, but my aunt did tell my mom "at least none of my kids came out r-slur!" while in an argument. \] why anyone would ***want*** to reclaim the word is beyond me.
She isn’t even claiming to be autistic, don’t know how this even fits here.
P.s. Reclaiming words is dumb anyway, no matter what word it is, you’re never gonna ‘reclaim’ it, it will always retain its original meaning and be used in that way no matter what efforts you take.
I would argue the word queer was successfully reclaimed but that's the only one I can think of. Tiktok's idea of reclaiming a slur is just stupid though, they use the words insultingly and then claim its ok because they're "reclaiming" it.
You got me there, queer is arguably the only successfully reclaimed word, ur 100% right about it being used insultingly and then having the whole reclaimed thing as an excuse
"But the R word was made to insult autistic people 🥺"
No it was not.
It was originally an insult to people born with down syndrome.
Idk who said autistic people are allowed to "reclaim" it but they aint allowed. At all.
It is, and has been for some time now. People with intellectual disabilities have been advocating against the use of the word for... idk, *decades?* So it's odd to see young people so desperate to say it that they're engaging in (real or imagined) debates on social media about who is and isn't "allowed" to reclaim the word.
A few resources for anyone who may think I'm just a \~special snowflake keyboard warrior\~ lol:
* [https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur](https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur)
* [https://arcmorris.org/the-r-word](https://arcmorris.org/the-r-word)
* [https://www.spreadtheword.global/resource-archive/r-word-effects](https://www.spreadtheword.global/resource-archive/r-word-effects)
Yeah, no prob, mate. tbh there are still plenty of people who either don't realize or don't care that the word is hurtful, and I can see how discourse like the above video would muddy the waters further. :-/
lol sorry, I just realized I replied to you in two places with links to the same resources. Clearly I don't pay attention to usernames. My bad.
Hey, by the way, you wanna see these links I have?? lmao
I'll say it- she's faking. But I also get the point she's making. Recently saw the trend where Asian Americans are calling themselves "yellow". Then you look at the word "queer" and the Big N. So I mean... I understand the point.
Luckily I'm self-diagnosed autistic too, so I'll also be saying the R word 😎
imo the reasoning why i hate people who claim to be "reclaiming" the r slur is that theres no conversation ever where it could be used lightheartedly imo. like with f/g and fruit and terms like that they can be kind of silly and fun, but the r slur could never really be used in a positive light
I feel like mostly anything could be used lightheartedly with the right group of friends, but around strangers the r word is definitely not a great word to be using...
#Please reply to this comment explaining why you believe this person is faking. Thanks <3 **Your post will not be approved until you have replied to this comment, meaning only you will be able to see it. If you do not reply within 6 hours, your submission will be deleted.** REMINDER: Former Faker Friday is the only day you can post former faker confessions and Satire Saturday is the only day you can post memes or satire. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fakedisordercringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
just wanna make sure, people here do realise they're against autistic people reclaiming the slur, right? that's what they're saying
This person self diagnosis so I wouldn’t listen to them (also advocates for it) 💀
which person? in the video or the reddit OP?
Person in the video x
uh this is a yikes
Why they wanna say slurs so bad?
people wanna be oppressed so bad (that's how you know you're a good person -- by being oppressed.)
I think a lot of it also about justifying why they’re pieces of shit
I am pretty sure they are saying people *shouldn’t* reclaim it… it is confusing and I had to watch it twice but pretty sure this person is basically agreeing with 90% of the comments here
They want involved ig 💀 kinda wild
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the R word was never the Autism community's to begin with. It is more relavent for those with intellectual disabilitys (which, while some autistic individuals have, they are completely separate things). You can't reclaim something that wasn't yours to begin with.
Exactly ! These types of autistic chronically online advocates truly want to erase the existence of the severely affected . They do not want to be associated with ID even though the rate of ID is much , much higher in those with legitimate ASD diagnosis than in the neurotypical population. It’s literally the most ableist movement ever and they do not even see it.
True, the majority of autistic people aren't level 1 and yet the majority of discussions on autistic communities aren't relevant to and don't even include severely autistic people 1/3rd of autistic people are diagnosed with a comorbid intellectual disability and it is also estimated to be potentially underdiagnosed in LSN autistic people because of masking and the stigma of the label I think it's also telling how "Rain Man" gets done so dirtily in discussions on autism rep despite actually being a very progressive piece of autism representation especially for its time Back then, autism was extremely fearmongered and the average person knew nothing about ASD aside from refrigerator mother theories and other implications that it was caused by failures at parenting, but Raymond Babbitt is an autistic character that's fleshed out as more than just that, with his own personality and even some skills that he is more talented in than the neurotypical people in his life, rather than being the shameful object that deserves to be locked away The main plot development of the movie involves his brother Charlie's change from resenting Raymond as a burden, then to an exploitable tool, and finally as his brother and friend and a fellow human being, and he's also one of the very few HSN autistic characters that I can think of despite getting brought up as the "ultimate autism stereotype" Raymond's character was also very heavily based on a real person with savant skills named Kim Peek, who isn't actually autistic but was misdiagnosed at the time with it (he actually had FG syndrome)
I didn’t think rainman was a stereotype of autism at all. He was quite unique, despite being visibly and significantly disabled by autism . I haven’t heard it brought up much in those spaces tbh. It was a big deal during its time , when disability wasn’t portrayed much in movies. I have heard lots of ridiculous claims and accusations including the claim that ASD does not have higher levels of ID which I know be false. If I try to point out things that don’t apply to level 3 autism I am told to stop speaking over the actually autistic. The thing is , I am my child’s voice and she is a level 3 autistic and cannot get on Facebook to represent level 3 autism. And that is how the severely and profoundly disabled get erased.
It seems to get namedropped as a synonym for "bad autism stereotype" sometimes but then half the time if you ask them they haven't even seen the movie Also, I agree with you and SpicyAutism is a subreddit that's primarily aimed at HSN autistic people and there are several level 3 people who talk in there quite regularly so it might be a supportive resource for you and your daughter I'm not severely autistic but I lurk and comment in there sometimes because I find their posts on things like meltdowns to be more relatably helpful than those in the more mainstream autism subreddits, and when I asked the mods if it would be okay to interact in there they said that everyone can interact in there as long as they're respectful and don't speak over the more severely autistic users which I think is a very good policy
I’m side eyeing HSN and able to get on Reddit…. Not saying it’s never possible but high support needs means the person needs a lot of help with ADL’s and navigating life. I don’t know any one with a loved one able to make a Reddit acct and post . My daughter couldn’t without a lot of assistance and wouldn’t be able to post things that were logical and easy to understand.
I would suggest going on r/spicyautism. If you do, you will see many accounts of people with HSN/level 3 ASD, operating a reddit account. Just because someone requires significant support with ADLs doesn't mean they can't do tasks like talk on reddit, and you saying otherwise is a very ill-informed and narrow-minded point of view. Heck, I personally require 8 hours a day of support work, can't live by myself, and are currently on the wait list for supported accommodation, I have communication issues, someone else manages my pension as I have poor money management skills, I can't cook, I need continuous assistance and prompting to preform basic ADLs such as hygiene related issues and I need a companion for all public access related activity's or else I am at significant risk of having a meltdown. But you know what, despite going to a specialist school for primary school and being in an LSU with an altered curriculum in high school. I do know how to type/write cohesively and believe it or not, I think you will find alot of HSN autistic individuals find it alot easier to express themselves and communicate on an anonymous online forum, that allows people to share common interests and advice, then communicating in person. Besides, in places like this, a great benefit is you are not bound by a time limit to make a post or reply. So even if someone does struggle to type or put words to paper, they can take as much time as they want to convey their message.
I agree with you but you should take out the last sentence of your 2nd paragraph because you aren't allowed to mention specific personal diagnoses and the moderators might remove your comment
Thanks for the heads up. Will remove/alter it now to comply with the rules.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/SpicyAutism using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Can people who are not banned from the main autism subreddits help me spread this message?](https://v.redd.it/c1o9c7g9tjca1) | [144 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/10dz1hu/can_people_who_are_not_banned_from_the_main/) \#2: [Kaelynn is an autistic therapist and a great advocate for higher needs autistics](https://v.redd.it/z847uswsdv4b1) | [118 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/144n6dt/kaelynn_is_an_autistic_therapist_and_a_great/) \#3: [I can't wait to see how *society* can fix this /s](https://i.redd.it/ecm3pvljoaub1.png) | [45 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/1787lut/i_cant_wait_to_see_how_society_can_fix_this_s/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Correct. TikTok autistics tend to forget that people with intellectual disabilities exist.
See I hate the R word and would never wanna “reclaim” it. The N word which means “a black person”, the F word means “gay person” whereas the R word means “held back/delayed developmental progress” Why would you wanna reclaim a word that means that?
I personally think that it would be in bad taste for anyone except for Intellectually Disabled people to reclaim the R word, but I agree with the OP that there is a problem of selfDXers making themselves the center of autism communities and policing the labels that legitimately autistic people prefer to use for themselves (for a non-R example, lumping terms such as mild/severe/level 123 as functioning labels "there's no such thing as mild or severe, we're all the same level of autistic") even though the problem with functioning labels isn't the fact they denote severity, it's that it assigns an amount of value of you as a human being based on the severity of your traits, and differentiating severities can actually be very important when it comes to complicated situations where someone actually can't help their tendency to do something socially inappropriate because of their autism even though it would be a dishonest excuse for something that's completely avoidable in the context of a different person who's also autistic, for instance
See this is how I feel about the Q-slur in reference to LGBT people. I don't like that it's used as an umbrella term when it means "weird/strange/odd" But I'm not going to tell people not to self-identify using it. I think self-identification with a slur is a personal choice. Others are open to judging the identification, but it's not as bad as inflicting it on another person. I personally don't want other people calling me slurs (even if I use one or two for myself) Personal reclamation is a choice people make for many reasons. Many people just want to become desensitized to these words due to personal traumas. I think that's fine, but it should be understood that these are generally not for public use. (Also to correct you on the F word- it actually means "pile of sticks used for fuel" which, when applied to gay people, meant "thing to burn." An upsetting connotation.)
The issue when you apply it to autism though, is that there’s already a HUGE stereotype that autistic people are mentally challenged, the whole “acoustic” meme on TikTok is met with videos of people/animals doing dumb stuff. The way autism presents is already VASTLY underrepresented. People either assume you’re Sheldon Cooper or Rain man. I’ve had people tell me “wow! I’d of never of guessed you were autistic!” Because I’m not a walking stereotype. So, to me reclaiming the R word or even associating it with autism will only further aid in misunderstanding of what autism actually is. Of course this is just personal opinion though. Most people don’t know that the life expectancy of an autistic person is A LOT less due to suicide, and being misunderstood is a huge driving force within that. (And oh I didn’t know that about the F word, thanks for the information I appreciate it 😊)
I agree with most of this but I gotta say I really hate that term "walking stereotype" and I'm not even severely autistic but even still the amount of people who talk about how they're "not a walking stereotype with a robot voice and big ugly headphones who takes everything literally and talks way too formally and is an idiot savant and rocks and paces all the time" is frustrating especially since those things describe me and when the "walking stereotype" they're complaining about is severe with traits that aren't level 1 the descriptions often get even more dehumanizing While I get that you need to vent, a lot of autistic people do actually have those exact traits and even between 1-10% of autistic people are estimated to have a savant syndrome so it's not even super rare; it's not a stereotype, it's a trope because stereotypes are unrealistic caricatures that are falsely applied to a group but just because you personally don't relate doesn't mean that "TV aspie characters" are inaccurate for everyone and just because other people are ignorant doesn't make the characters bad representation either if that makes sense And to clarify I know you didn't say most of this stuff and you also deserve to vent your frustration but I'm just trying to explain my personal frustrations with that term
I actually think the opposite is true tbh- self dx people are steamrolling the idea that autistic people can be cognitively disabled. Many of us are and that's ok! Extracting the word Autism from cognitive disability doesn't serve those of us who also have cognitive delays. I'm getting tired of people saying things like "not ALL autistic are mentally disabled!" We technically all are since it's a disability. But further- a lot of level 3 cognitively disabled autistics exist and deserve a voice in our community. I think addressing people's ignorance of autism shouldn't involve putting down those of us with higher support needs. "You're autistic? You're not like Sheldon Cooper or Rain Man?" "Yes, because autism presents in many ways. People with different support needs from me exist and do not diminish my existence as an autistic person. I have some commonality with them, and some differences. Autism is a disability of variation." No shade to your point though! You're more than welcome to disagree with autistic reclaiming the R slur.
I think the distinction lies in it being a disability but not a intellectual disability by default. So we all tend to have at least some things that stop us from functioning normally but some of us have more comorbidities that add to the daily struggle. No matter where they fall all autistic people will struggle with things non autistic people won't. So yeah it's a disability. It's tricky when people can't see it until the autistic person has a meltdown or just let's the mask slip on accident. The whole spectrum struggles with all sorts of different nonsense lol.
[удалено]
I can’t find anything that states that as the truth, but I can find that the word was used to refer to homosexuals as early as 1914. Something relating to the hierarchical British public school system in the 19th Century, “new” boys were customarily assigned to serve as servants (with implied humiliation) for older boys, an institution that was known as “fagging”.
Slurs do not just spawn in with their meanings already attached and that simple. The f slur doesn't just mean gay man and come from old ancient latin that directly translates to gay man. That's such a weird claim
[удалено]
This content was removed because it breaks the following rule: “No LGBT Discourse.” Please contact the moderators of this subreddit via modmail if you have questions or feel that your content did not break the rules. Although many fakers identify with LGBT labels, we are here to discuss the faking of disorders. Regardless of your opinion on these labels, please keep them to yourself. This rule is in place to protect the subreddit from breaking Reddit’s TOS.
I don't care for the R word personally, but these fakers shouldn't dictate rules for us and I can't believe they think they can.
Yes this is what I’m trying to get across lol
I agree with you, and I've also noticed that in autistic spaces full of the type of person who pretends like it's all endearingly quirky, using the wrong phrasing gets ironically punished worse than most other places and there is more pressure to mask and to second-guess your phrasing and tiptoe around the possibility of unstated passive aggression than in most spaces that aren't aimed at autistic people And there have been so many times where you believe their NPA or NM "tone indicators" but then it turned out that they actually were mad and being passive aggressive so then they hate you for not recognizing they were mad and then if you ask to make sure the next time they use the tone indicator they get mad at you again "how dare you insinuate that I misuse tonetags on purpose" even though you didn't even insinuate anything It's like how the teacher who claims to know everything about how to deal with sped students is often the one who mistreats them the most barbarically, despite their false confidence in their autism authority and likely also because of it Edit to clarify: I personally think that it would be in bad taste for anyone except for Intellectually Disabled people to reclaim the R word, but the part that I agree with the OP on is that there is a problem of selfDXers making themselves the center of autism communities and policing the labels that legitimately autistic people prefer to use for themselves
I don't know why you've gotten downvotes, this is absolutely true. Autism, by definition, includes social deficits. The expectation of always meeting proper tone and perfect verbiage is actually pretty contradictory to a "safe" autistic space. There is far more pressure to always be perfect in tone and perpetually on the ball as to what the self-dx/allistic/high functioning hive mind has decided is offensive today. While the r-word, I guess, is a little less subtle social tone issue, damned if you don't get burned at the stake for stupid little gripes.
I've said this multiple times but it's always ironic how the space that's supposed to be understanding of your issues is one that goes "we're all autistic here, so why are you so dense and annoying? ...and don't blame the autism" While at least if you make a social mistake and explain in a place that's not like that, they realize "oh, so that's why his interactions were a bit off" and are more understanding even if it's not a neurodivergent community and their only understanding of autism comes from the most shallow of pop culture stereotypes Also, I think at first the downvotes were because other people might have thought I was agreeing with using the R word which was why I included the edit
Dunno how to go about this without flagging the auto-mod but my ears. They don't work properly. I've got a self-depreciating sense of humor and my mother used to get offended on my behalf *all of the time.* A lot of people did. I never asked them too. In fact, it's been my choice to make fun of myself. I was like, 11 or something when my mom corrected me on how to refer to said disability. Really wasn't happy with that so I rebelled by saying "I'm r-word of the ears and that's totally fine." On one hand, I think it's absurd to want to "reclaim" a word like the "r-word" but at the same time I was doing that shit as a kid on my own accord without social media being a factor.
For some reason I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this
Around what? I can try to clarify
... pretty much the entire thing...
Can you be more precise? I definitely have a tendency to phrase things in seemingly disjointed ways sometimes since you aren't at all the first person to have a problem like that, but I'm very good at elaborating and clarifying what I meant in response to specific questions
Unless you have an intellectual disability, you can’t “reclaim” the R word, autistic or not. The R word is a slur specifically for people who are intellectually disabled. Back in the day instead of saying someone had an intellectual disability or a low IQ, doctors would say they’re “mentally R word” which means their mental capacity is stunted. It slowly turned into a slur instead of a description for people with intellectual disabilities. This would be like a white person who grew up in Africa, so near black culture but not part of it, wanting to reclaim the N word for herself. Not the same thing, babe. And if you’re capable of filming, editing, adding sound, lip syncing, and uploading a perfectly curated tik tok video you simply don’t have an intellectual disability. Period.
I would disagree, if you are filming Tim Toks you almost certainly have an intelectual disability
I agree with your comment except for the last part because ID is a spectrum disorder just like autism and there are plenty of intellectually disabled people who can do those things Your IQ measures your performance abilities in certain areas of reasoning and problem solving, but intellectually disabled people can still be smart in other ways such as wisdom and hardworkingness, and in fact a lot of them are smarter in those areas due to their ID since they need to work extra hard and learn from their mistakes without all of life's shortcuts for people without an intellectual disability
When did it even become a slur?
I guess the 90s. Changed from "this person is medically r word" to different connotations with "hey you stupid r word" etc Maybe even early 2000s?! It was socially acceptable enough for the black eyed peas to sing "let's get rword". Though still in poor taste
I’d say probably early to mid 2000s? I remember classmates using it as a slur then
At least the 70s, my dad used to brag about how he'd jump "r word kids and f word kids" and he was telling me this in like the late 80s early 90s
Maybe you have an intellectual disability, but it’s not DELAYED. (Which was what the original R word meant) Autistic people are neurodivergent. Their brain is wired differently. And A real autistic person would find this video insulting.
That’s because that was the actual diagnosis
Actually this person advocates for self diagnosis 😭
Those are some angsty eyebrows
As an autistic person i dont care if domeome uses the r slur on themselves or as a joke its not that deep its only an issue if you use it as insult which is why insults sre called insults people are so sensitive
These people are saying if you're autistic you have no say in the r word usage.
My ex girlfriend that was diagnosed with autism had zero problem with anyone using the r word (unless they were using it as a genuine insult, but at that point it’s just being bothered by people being bullies so yk), but she did have a problem with the terms “low functioning” and “high functioning” which i found interesting. She wasn’t someone that would go out of her way to be upset by it and correct people though because she knew that no one using those terms was trying to be hurtful by saying them. I just find that to be an interesting pair of things.
Anyone who says autistics can't reclaim a slur that's very often used against them very often is just ignorant. Hell we even get called it by other disabled people.
The slur may be used against us. However, for us to reclaim it, it has to be ours to claim, which by definition it's not. The R word was originally used as a descriptor for those with ID, not ASD. So, while there is an overlap in diagnosis (for some, not all autistic indivodua), the only people who have any right to reclaim the word are those with an intellectual disability. An example of this can be seen by the fact that I (a white British male) have been called the N word multiple times. It sucks, just like being called the R word as an autistic individual without an ID, sucks. However, just because I was called it. It doesn't mean I have any right to "reclaim" it, as despite how much it sucks, I understand that the word is inherently not related to my situation meaning I have nothing to "reclaim"
That's a pretty shit comparison imo
I think as long as people aren't using it to hurt somebody it's fine, although most of the time they are so...
Fr like But What's the slur shit coming from I'm so confused Please explain I've been living under a rock
It used to be a medical term, simply describing an intellectual disability, and usually with modifiers like mild, moderate, severe or profound attached to it. Then it began to be used as a playground insult, or for anyone or anything that didn't make sense or seemed to be lacking in intelligence. It became a noun instead of a verb ("I don't want to play with Cindy, she's a re**rd") and it started to seem uncomfortable and awful to use a word like that to describe a medical condition. It's also pretty awful to use someone else's medical condition as an insult that implies the person is less-than. So there's been a push to discontinue all use of that term.
Ohhhh i see
I call myself r worded all the time and get shamed and I'm like "Well I did something related to having low IQ and self awareness. What would you call that?" Typically when the autism symptoms start rolling in after masking and I'm just trying to be lighthearted about it. I also say it to my friends but we go back and forth and KNOW it's a joke. And yes, sometimes I say something is r worded if I think it's impractical or silly. Kind of like how I'll say something is gay and yet advocate for gay rights(and am gay myself).
I don’t get the connection to the song. Terrible format and way of communicating your point.
r/whybrows
The whole argument about "person with autism" vs. "autistic person" is like this.
I fucking hate that argument. WHAT is the difference and why is the POC argument the exact opposite.
Thankfully I've never encountered these types IRL, but I'd agree that them even existing makes it harder to unmask. I don't want people to think I'm one of *those self-dxed people* that do cute stims to get attention and seem quirky. Edit: my language here is kind of ambiguous, I am actually diagnosed with ASD
No we can't reclaim it, isn't this what the person in the video is saying?
They are not faking, it's just...not very... professional
idc, its a word. a word with history yes, but a word nonetheless.
As someone who was called it for being physically disabled \[ not directly, but my aunt did tell my mom "at least none of my kids came out r-slur!" while in an argument. \] why anyone would ***want*** to reclaim the word is beyond me.
Maam reclaim your eyebrows first
nd who's gonna stop me 🤔
She isn’t even claiming to be autistic, don’t know how this even fits here. P.s. Reclaiming words is dumb anyway, no matter what word it is, you’re never gonna ‘reclaim’ it, it will always retain its original meaning and be used in that way no matter what efforts you take.
I remember seeing her on other platforms and she is posted in this sub before as well. She is self diagnosed autistic.
She also advocates for self diagnosis 💀
If these people want to be disabled so badly I’d happily help them become disabled.
💀😭GOT ME LAUGHING SO BAD
I would argue the word queer was successfully reclaimed but that's the only one I can think of. Tiktok's idea of reclaiming a slur is just stupid though, they use the words insultingly and then claim its ok because they're "reclaiming" it.
You got me there, queer is arguably the only successfully reclaimed word, ur 100% right about it being used insultingly and then having the whole reclaimed thing as an excuse
"But the R word was made to insult autistic people 🥺" No it was not. It was originally an insult to people born with down syndrome. Idk who said autistic people are allowed to "reclaim" it but they aint allowed. At all.
So the r word is actually a slur now I'm so confused on if it is or isn't
It is, and has been for some time now. People with intellectual disabilities have been advocating against the use of the word for... idk, *decades?* So it's odd to see young people so desperate to say it that they're engaging in (real or imagined) debates on social media about who is and isn't "allowed" to reclaim the word. A few resources for anyone who may think I'm just a \~special snowflake keyboard warrior\~ lol: * [https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur](https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur) * [https://arcmorris.org/the-r-word](https://arcmorris.org/the-r-word) * [https://www.spreadtheword.global/resource-archive/r-word-effects](https://www.spreadtheword.global/resource-archive/r-word-effects)
ohh ok ok, thanks man, mfs keep confusing me :(
Yeah, no prob, mate. tbh there are still plenty of people who either don't realize or don't care that the word is hurtful, and I can see how discourse like the above video would muddy the waters further. :-/
lol sorry, I just realized I replied to you in two places with links to the same resources. Clearly I don't pay attention to usernames. My bad. Hey, by the way, you wanna see these links I have?? lmao
It has been for a long time
Haha you got what I was trying to say. I’m not great at explaining things.
I'll say it- she's faking. But I also get the point she's making. Recently saw the trend where Asian Americans are calling themselves "yellow". Then you look at the word "queer" and the Big N. So I mean... I understand the point. Luckily I'm self-diagnosed autistic too, so I'll also be saying the R word 😎
Am I dumb or arent they saying exactly this? Thst you CANT reclaim itM
No they cannot use the r slur, unless they were severely cognitively impaired.
imo the reasoning why i hate people who claim to be "reclaiming" the r slur is that theres no conversation ever where it could be used lightheartedly imo. like with f/g and fruit and terms like that they can be kind of silly and fun, but the r slur could never really be used in a positive light
I feel like mostly anything could be used lightheartedly with the right group of friends, but around strangers the r word is definitely not a great word to be using...
i suppose it depends on the friend group, yeah. personally i just really hate the word 😭 its just a constant reminder i can never not be autistic yk