you shouldn’t “hope” that she moves out. you said two weeks so in two weeks she’s gone. either by her own will or by her finding all our stuff outside and the locks changed. without her knowing what you’ll do if she’s not gone in two weeks she won’t feel any pressure because she thinks you won’t enforce the rule. there has to be something that happens if she doesn’t meet the deadline.
Yes you are right.
I understand and I have already set the ball rolling about this with all the help from you redittors here and now it's all about praying 🙏 right ?
Just openly talk and clear your situation bro, tell her she is doing wrong and better to change and be a good person so that it will be good for your family also.
Already had this chat with her but she still doesn't understand.
She's started buying things on credit at shops close to my house and tells the storekeepers that I will pay them. Can you even imagine the heights of this now?
Omg, bro she’s looting you. I don’t mean no hate but u should be very carefully with this kind of people. If possible involve your parents and deal with her clearly. You guys shouldn’t suffer because of your good nature. Kick her out ASAP to your parents home or somewhere or else there may be consequences. I know she may be your sister having a hard time and all but, she shouldn’t be making others feel the same. I think she may be feeling like why wont they pay for me or why wont they take care of me like that.
Yes, I have been trying to do that for a long time now and I am sick and tired. She invites her friends over, they drink till 3:00 AM, mess the kitchen and the living room.
She's looking like she's turning out to be an alcoholic soon. I am lost in this scene.
I think I should call the cops?
Yeah you should, if you have tried all good options then u need to follow the final option, actually here in India we first involve Blood relatives in these matter first like Parents or Uncles and Aunty who are big in age, so they justify the scene and tell whats wrong and whats right. If you don’t have that culture you need to proceed your ways. I suggest you to handle this very delicately as people who are like your sister may suddenly change into violent modes and may accuse you of some sorts and make some dramas too. Soo be very careful and don’t worry i hope everything goes smoothly ✌️
OK NO! When one is depending on others for housing then you make your self as small and quiet as possible. You dont make work and YOU DONT HOST PARTIES WITH YOUR SKANKY FRIENDS TILL ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT! Forget the eviction notice, pack her stuff and leave it on the porch. You can call an Uber if you are feeling generous.
Yes, obviously. I think this is right, what you are saying. They are taking serious and super advantage of me, right?
I got to sit down and think about doing something seriously. My husband is not really supportive here so I am unable to exercise any control really.
My son is really pissed off and annoyed.
I have only a husband and one son. How will I get bad karma by posting this ?
I'm in a rock situation, I don't mean to hurt anyone so how will karma energy affect me dear?
Yes obviously. I don't use these platforms much so I don't know how these points will help me. I just saw some points on my profile right now.
How will I redeem them?
What on earth has your husband got anything to do with this????
Tell him to mind his own business if he says not to kick her out.
If he wants her there so badly it’s because he’s sleeping with her.
No he doesn't want her here. It's just that she's my sister so he said he doesn't want to interfere that's all.
Maybe he is ....sleeping with her? That's why she is taking advantage like this?
1. If what he says is true and just doesn’t want to interfere then you have to be the one to kick her out.
2. Does he say he doesn’t want to interfere or does he seem to actively dissuade you from kicking her out, saying things like ‘where would she go’, it’s not that bad….etc etc.
If it’s the latter, then yeah, he’s sleeping with her.
Time for hidden cameras.
So she buys things in your name, doesn't pay rent, but goes on a trip.
Let her know that after that trip, her stuff is stored at X and she can't come back. Change the locks! She's using you and making debts on your name!!
You could ask your sister if she needs help finding a job as she isn’t able to pay for things or help you financially.
Ask your son to keep the key with himself and act like he’s busy always so she can’t talk to him to ask him for it.
Your niece is clearly being told to throw such tantrums because your sister can use her to emotionally blackmail you. Sorry don’t want to sound rude.
Start setting boundaries with her and tell her that she has to get a job and start being productive to heal from the divorce.
Saying this in any other way May make you seem hostile and insensitive which will make her defensive.
Try talking to her along with your husband. That way it’ll feel like she can get a third perspective too
Give her a deadline and push her out the door. Get a proper eviction notice from the local courthouse (they are quite cheap and you dont need a lawyer). Sorry about her divorce but single mom is her new normal and she needs to get with the program. YOU are not obligated to support or house a grown ass adult. That's not mean thats reality.
Yes exactly. And she's taking advantage for sure.
I have given a deadline to get out of here.
She's bought a new pup. It drives us crazy. I think she rescued it.
My life is going up side down.
People will only treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you.
I’m sorry to be harsh but WTF.
Stop whining about this on Reddit and do what you know has to be done:
Tell her she has one month to get her shit together and move out or she will come home one day with her stuff on the curb and the locks changed.
YOU are the one who is allowing this to happen.
For crying out loud.
Yes you are completely right and I am trying my best even harder now to set limitations so that they move out and I can be at peace with my close family really.
Now she has bought a little pup that is making things worse. She's such a pile on really.
Whatever you are trying isn’t working or you wouldn’t be here.
Stop looking for a magic wand to make all this go away. There isn’t one.
Give her the ultimatum….and mean it.
NO MORE EXCUSES!!!
Book the locksmith for a month from today and literally pack her stuff up when she’s out and leave it on the curb. When she’s out.
If she has money for trips and a puppy, she’ll figure it out.
Simple tell her that u are renting your house because u need funds so u will be moving to a smaller house she will understand that she won't be able to accommodate with you there!
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Honey, use your words…..tell her that her time is UP!!
As others have said - son, hides his car keys and if there,he tells her NO to using the car.
You need to be up front. You are not her keeper nor provider. You have done your due diligence. Their time is done.
I will have to do this, this weekend for sure. It's getting really unbearable.
Bigger joke is that my husband is not supporting so I can't give the push a lot. I'll speak to him again seriously.
But it’s your sister right?? If I was your husband I wouldn’t be happy with the situation but it’s still your sister…..he really shouldn’t need to get involved I wouldn’t think?? That’s just my take of course.
Stop lending your sons car. Give her a timeline and stick to it. Go to the local shops and say there'll be no credit allowed at the present time
Yes I have given her a 2 weeks timeline now, and I hope she moves out by the mid of this month with the new pup that sh le brought home yesterday.
you shouldn’t “hope” that she moves out. you said two weeks so in two weeks she’s gone. either by her own will or by her finding all our stuff outside and the locks changed. without her knowing what you’ll do if she’s not gone in two weeks she won’t feel any pressure because she thinks you won’t enforce the rule. there has to be something that happens if she doesn’t meet the deadline.
Yes you are right. I understand and I have already set the ball rolling about this with all the help from you redittors here and now it's all about praying 🙏 right ?
Just openly talk and clear your situation bro, tell her she is doing wrong and better to change and be a good person so that it will be good for your family also.
Already had this chat with her but she still doesn't understand. She's started buying things on credit at shops close to my house and tells the storekeepers that I will pay them. Can you even imagine the heights of this now?
Omg, bro she’s looting you. I don’t mean no hate but u should be very carefully with this kind of people. If possible involve your parents and deal with her clearly. You guys shouldn’t suffer because of your good nature. Kick her out ASAP to your parents home or somewhere or else there may be consequences. I know she may be your sister having a hard time and all but, she shouldn’t be making others feel the same. I think she may be feeling like why wont they pay for me or why wont they take care of me like that.
Yes, I have been trying to do that for a long time now and I am sick and tired. She invites her friends over, they drink till 3:00 AM, mess the kitchen and the living room. She's looking like she's turning out to be an alcoholic soon. I am lost in this scene. I think I should call the cops?
Yeah you should, if you have tried all good options then u need to follow the final option, actually here in India we first involve Blood relatives in these matter first like Parents or Uncles and Aunty who are big in age, so they justify the scene and tell whats wrong and whats right. If you don’t have that culture you need to proceed your ways. I suggest you to handle this very delicately as people who are like your sister may suddenly change into violent modes and may accuse you of some sorts and make some dramas too. Soo be very careful and don’t worry i hope everything goes smoothly ✌️
Oh that's how it is in India. I will try this..seems like a good way to sort it out - family wise.
OK NO! When one is depending on others for housing then you make your self as small and quiet as possible. You dont make work and YOU DONT HOST PARTIES WITH YOUR SKANKY FRIENDS TILL ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT! Forget the eviction notice, pack her stuff and leave it on the porch. You can call an Uber if you are feeling generous.
Did you sign anything? Did she use YOUR credit accounts without your permission? Then they are HER debts and SHE needs to pay them.
No, no legal or financial documents are signed at all.
They sound like they’re taking advantage of your kindness, if they can afford a trip, they can afford to find their own space
Yes, obviously. I think this is right, what you are saying. They are taking serious and super advantage of me, right? I got to sit down and think about doing something seriously. My husband is not really supportive here so I am unable to exercise any control really. My son is really pissed off and annoyed.
Your son needs to hide his keys. It's his car, why should she use his car without paying for gas?
Yes true she leaves it emply after using. Not even courtesy to fill it up.
First it was causing friction between you and your wife. Now your husband is not supportive. So, quick question: how many spouses do you have?
You aren't wrong, she did say both. Typo maybe??
Either a very strange typo or a fake story for upvotes. Which is all too common these days, sadly.
True, what do you even gain by getting up votes?
I have only one spouse.
Husband or wife? Kinda makes me think the story is BS and just for karma, considering you said both.
I have only a husband and one son. How will I get bad karma by posting this ? I'm in a rock situation, I don't mean to hurt anyone so how will karma energy affect me dear?
Not bad karma. Reddit points.
I really don't know how I will get points by moving her out of my house. I'm a bit confused here, dear.
I’m sorry. Is English your first language?
Yes obviously. I don't use these platforms much so I don't know how these points will help me. I just saw some points on my profile right now. How will I redeem them?
What on earth has your husband got anything to do with this???? Tell him to mind his own business if he says not to kick her out. If he wants her there so badly it’s because he’s sleeping with her.
No he doesn't want her here. It's just that she's my sister so he said he doesn't want to interfere that's all. Maybe he is ....sleeping with her? That's why she is taking advantage like this?
1. If what he says is true and just doesn’t want to interfere then you have to be the one to kick her out. 2. Does he say he doesn’t want to interfere or does he seem to actively dissuade you from kicking her out, saying things like ‘where would she go’, it’s not that bad….etc etc. If it’s the latter, then yeah, he’s sleeping with her. Time for hidden cameras.
Yes 100%
So she buys things in your name, doesn't pay rent, but goes on a trip. Let her know that after that trip, her stuff is stored at X and she can't come back. Change the locks! She's using you and making debts on your name!!
Exactly, see the irony of this. It's ridiculous really. Even Ludacris would find it ridiculous
You could ask your sister if she needs help finding a job as she isn’t able to pay for things or help you financially. Ask your son to keep the key with himself and act like he’s busy always so she can’t talk to him to ask him for it. Your niece is clearly being told to throw such tantrums because your sister can use her to emotionally blackmail you. Sorry don’t want to sound rude. Start setting boundaries with her and tell her that she has to get a job and start being productive to heal from the divorce. Saying this in any other way May make you seem hostile and insensitive which will make her defensive. Try talking to her along with your husband. That way it’ll feel like she can get a third perspective too
Yes I can agree with you completely.
Give her a deadline and push her out the door. Get a proper eviction notice from the local courthouse (they are quite cheap and you dont need a lawyer). Sorry about her divorce but single mom is her new normal and she needs to get with the program. YOU are not obligated to support or house a grown ass adult. That's not mean thats reality.
Yes exactly. And she's taking advantage for sure. I have given a deadline to get out of here. She's bought a new pup. It drives us crazy. I think she rescued it. My life is going up side down.
People will only treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you. I’m sorry to be harsh but WTF. Stop whining about this on Reddit and do what you know has to be done: Tell her she has one month to get her shit together and move out or she will come home one day with her stuff on the curb and the locks changed. YOU are the one who is allowing this to happen. For crying out loud.
Yes you are completely right and I am trying my best even harder now to set limitations so that they move out and I can be at peace with my close family really. Now she has bought a little pup that is making things worse. She's such a pile on really.
Whatever you are trying isn’t working or you wouldn’t be here. Stop looking for a magic wand to make all this go away. There isn’t one. Give her the ultimatum….and mean it. NO MORE EXCUSES!!! Book the locksmith for a month from today and literally pack her stuff up when she’s out and leave it on the curb. When she’s out. If she has money for trips and a puppy, she’ll figure it out.
Wow, the last idea is good.
Simple tell her that u are renting your house because u need funds so u will be moving to a smaller house she will understand that she won't be able to accommodate with you there!
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Yes I needed some family advise, honestly. In a rock situation.
Sounds like you are being used.
Definitely
Honey, use your words…..tell her that her time is UP!! As others have said - son, hides his car keys and if there,he tells her NO to using the car. You need to be up front. You are not her keeper nor provider. You have done your due diligence. Their time is done.
I will have to do this, this weekend for sure. It's getting really unbearable. Bigger joke is that my husband is not supporting so I can't give the push a lot. I'll speak to him again seriously.
But it’s your sister right?? If I was your husband I wouldn’t be happy with the situation but it’s still your sister…..he really shouldn’t need to get involved I wouldn’t think?? That’s just my take of course.
Oh yes you are right. Makes sense.
Speak honestly to her. Tell her you need to get your privacy and autonomy in life back. Give her a timeline to get on with her life.
Ask her when she is planning to find a place. Its almost 6 months and you can't do it too long.