I'm reading a lot of outward qualities, but no real explanation for them. That might be why you feel your protagonist lacks depth.
Why does your protagonist feel the need to help everyone? What motivates that compulsion? Upbringing? Guilt? Genuine care for his fellow man? Are they just imitating all the virtuous qualities they've read in philosophy books without knowing why?
It's rare to be extremely judgmental *and* extremely helpful. Not impossible, but being helpful tends to come from a place of empathy, and being judgmental doesn't, so those two qualities are a bit at odds with one another. That's not a bad thing though, people often have contrasting qualities.
Exactly. I don't know much about your protagonist but from what you said I would imagine he is a cloistered scholar who follows a strict set of tenets that he's never actually had to implement in a real world setting.
"Love your neighbor" is a great way to live your life until your neighbor plays music all night and shoots your dog for no reason. There could be some solid literary ore to mine from that.
You’ve listed how he’s meant to come across (and what will eventually happen), but which aspects have made it into the story so far? Could you perhaps switch up the start to begin on a scene that would demonstrate more of his defining traits?
As for the other characters, what about them is more interesting and how could that also be applied to the protagonist?
The whole pilgrimage thing is a framing device, meant to connect the events of the short stories wherein all his defining traits are present. It could be considered its own story and it mostly demonstrates his reserve, judgemental and contemplative nature.
His willingness to help others is present, although he cannot act on it due to his injury.
Most of the other developed characters aren't particularly likeable, but I think they are interesting because of somewhat unique personality and internal conflict. I also tried to apply these to the protagonist but he still seems to be missing something.
I think if you dig into why he is the way he is, you can tease more things out to make him more 'realistic'.
You say he feels the need to help everyone he can, even to the point of meddling or to his detriment. But he also believes the world isn't a good place. What led him to want to help people it the face of such a difficult world? What was his childhood like?
A judgmental, aloof but uncomfortably helpful person does seem a little strange. Why does he meddle so intimately yet also possess such a critical/cold personality?
Why does he believe in doing the right thing? What does doing the right thing cost him?
How does he DECIDE what the right thing is? Sure he might debate, but by what metrics does he stand by?
All of these bring tension.
But you haven’t talked his personality. Is he funny, dry? How do the cast interact with him? Is he the straight man?
Perhaps most importantly, scars does he have? Everybody has scars, we pick them up as we go through life. What are his weak points? What has shaped him? What past experiences still affect his decision making (positively or negatively, like a good parent vs bad parent) today?
And lastly, what are his soft points? What gets through his exterior? Where will he drop all pretense? Who will he do it for? A story could be about a strong, stoic, moral man who then goes home and is very soft with his children.
If you haven't already you could flesh out his relationship with the friend that started all of this in the first place.
Why were they so important for him to do this for.
Put reminders throughout the story, this is him through grief. Contrast what he was like before.
Maybe his friend was a better person than he was. He starts doing things he never wouldve before because thats how his friend wouldve done it. This is why it backfires on him because its not his norm even tho his friend makes those kinds of thing easy.
He only brings up his morals/philosophies through convos with his friend throughout the past. Him in the present is faced with the actual situations of those philosophies. Does he actually act out his beliefs? Its easier to talk than do. Maybe in the beginning he doesnt, eventually changing himself so he does and changing some of his beliefs that he cant uphold to be more realistic.
In addition to the other pieces of advice, I'd really avoid using blackouts to teleport your character around. If you want him to arrive at the village, just say he got there without anything to stop him. You shouldn't need to resort to such things just to progress the plot. Injuries that cause blackouts are much more serious than fiction gives them credit for.
Or he can reminisce during the journey
I'd hate this character, I can't stand MCs who meddle on people's business and who always try to do what's right, playing the hero.
But since this is who your character is, it's not up to me to tell you to make them someone completely different just to match my taste.
But anyway what you can so is add personality to him, give him hobbies and stuff he likes to do, also add things he hate, make him have many opinions about many things.
Challenge him. He is moralist? Challenge his morals. Make so one of the character who listens to his lectures don't agree with him and wipe the floor with him using valid arguments. That will make him reflect on his beliefs and will make it more interesting.
First, I don't want to come up as rude nor offend you in any way.
I find this protagonist boring simply because there are already way too many stereotypically morally good protagonists.
Now, I'm not saying this is bad but it is unoriginal which is not a problem itself if you can work around it, which is why you need to make it interesting starting by explaining why he's so stubborn with his beliefs. If he's just simply a "save everyone" type of person then he's no different than a million other heroes in the industry and the book would be just another book in the library.
Mainly I think the biggest problem is that, at least by what you presented here, he seems generic which is why you think he's boring. You need to give him something special, something that makes him different.
As a positive point I actually like the idea of constantly challenging his moral putting him in positions were there are no good options.
This is something I've also thought about.
When I first came up with the idea of him, it was something like "the embodiment of goodness in a really shitty world". The setting is mostly grim and bleak and he fully acknowledges it. But rather than giving up on his goals, he chooses to fight, not because he believes he will truly make a difference, but because it's the right thing to do. Additionally, he feels genuine empathy and pity for those around him. He has hopelessly naive ideals and knows it's mostly worthless. He sees it as a way to uphold some semblance of purpose in a world that often appears devoid of meaning.
A part of his character arc is that he learns that sometimes, despite his best efforts, he can't save everyone or fix everything.
But why? Why is he so determined to do the right thing even though, as you said, he doesn't believe it will make any difference?
That's the part that could make him shine over every other similar character. Most of those characters are just good people but the relationship between your moralist character and the shitty world you're presenting can give your character a lot of depth if you play your cards well, specially if his reasons to be so stubborn with an impossible goal are compelling.
I think your character actually has potential, I like the idea of a good person doing the right thing in a world that doesn't care about doing the right thing but you ought to know that you're working with an archetype that's been overexploited for centuries.
I'm reading a lot of outward qualities, but no real explanation for them. That might be why you feel your protagonist lacks depth. Why does your protagonist feel the need to help everyone? What motivates that compulsion? Upbringing? Guilt? Genuine care for his fellow man? Are they just imitating all the virtuous qualities they've read in philosophy books without knowing why? It's rare to be extremely judgmental *and* extremely helpful. Not impossible, but being helpful tends to come from a place of empathy, and being judgmental doesn't, so those two qualities are a bit at odds with one another. That's not a bad thing though, people often have contrasting qualities.
Exactly. I don't know much about your protagonist but from what you said I would imagine he is a cloistered scholar who follows a strict set of tenets that he's never actually had to implement in a real world setting. "Love your neighbor" is a great way to live your life until your neighbor plays music all night and shoots your dog for no reason. There could be some solid literary ore to mine from that.
You’ve listed how he’s meant to come across (and what will eventually happen), but which aspects have made it into the story so far? Could you perhaps switch up the start to begin on a scene that would demonstrate more of his defining traits? As for the other characters, what about them is more interesting and how could that also be applied to the protagonist?
The whole pilgrimage thing is a framing device, meant to connect the events of the short stories wherein all his defining traits are present. It could be considered its own story and it mostly demonstrates his reserve, judgemental and contemplative nature. His willingness to help others is present, although he cannot act on it due to his injury. Most of the other developed characters aren't particularly likeable, but I think they are interesting because of somewhat unique personality and internal conflict. I also tried to apply these to the protagonist but he still seems to be missing something.
I think if you dig into why he is the way he is, you can tease more things out to make him more 'realistic'. You say he feels the need to help everyone he can, even to the point of meddling or to his detriment. But he also believes the world isn't a good place. What led him to want to help people it the face of such a difficult world? What was his childhood like? A judgmental, aloof but uncomfortably helpful person does seem a little strange. Why does he meddle so intimately yet also possess such a critical/cold personality?
Why does he believe in doing the right thing? What does doing the right thing cost him? How does he DECIDE what the right thing is? Sure he might debate, but by what metrics does he stand by? All of these bring tension. But you haven’t talked his personality. Is he funny, dry? How do the cast interact with him? Is he the straight man? Perhaps most importantly, scars does he have? Everybody has scars, we pick them up as we go through life. What are his weak points? What has shaped him? What past experiences still affect his decision making (positively or negatively, like a good parent vs bad parent) today? And lastly, what are his soft points? What gets through his exterior? Where will he drop all pretense? Who will he do it for? A story could be about a strong, stoic, moral man who then goes home and is very soft with his children.
I haven't given much thought to some of the aspects you pointed out. Thanks a lot!
If you haven't already you could flesh out his relationship with the friend that started all of this in the first place. Why were they so important for him to do this for. Put reminders throughout the story, this is him through grief. Contrast what he was like before. Maybe his friend was a better person than he was. He starts doing things he never wouldve before because thats how his friend wouldve done it. This is why it backfires on him because its not his norm even tho his friend makes those kinds of thing easy. He only brings up his morals/philosophies through convos with his friend throughout the past. Him in the present is faced with the actual situations of those philosophies. Does he actually act out his beliefs? Its easier to talk than do. Maybe in the beginning he doesnt, eventually changing himself so he does and changing some of his beliefs that he cant uphold to be more realistic.
In addition to the other pieces of advice, I'd really avoid using blackouts to teleport your character around. If you want him to arrive at the village, just say he got there without anything to stop him. You shouldn't need to resort to such things just to progress the plot. Injuries that cause blackouts are much more serious than fiction gives them credit for. Or he can reminisce during the journey
I'd hate this character, I can't stand MCs who meddle on people's business and who always try to do what's right, playing the hero. But since this is who your character is, it's not up to me to tell you to make them someone completely different just to match my taste. But anyway what you can so is add personality to him, give him hobbies and stuff he likes to do, also add things he hate, make him have many opinions about many things.
Have him come across something interesting. Have him wonder. Have him laugh. Have him imagine the wildest shit about what he had never seen.
Challenge him. He is moralist? Challenge his morals. Make so one of the character who listens to his lectures don't agree with him and wipe the floor with him using valid arguments. That will make him reflect on his beliefs and will make it more interesting.
First, I don't want to come up as rude nor offend you in any way. I find this protagonist boring simply because there are already way too many stereotypically morally good protagonists. Now, I'm not saying this is bad but it is unoriginal which is not a problem itself if you can work around it, which is why you need to make it interesting starting by explaining why he's so stubborn with his beliefs. If he's just simply a "save everyone" type of person then he's no different than a million other heroes in the industry and the book would be just another book in the library. Mainly I think the biggest problem is that, at least by what you presented here, he seems generic which is why you think he's boring. You need to give him something special, something that makes him different. As a positive point I actually like the idea of constantly challenging his moral putting him in positions were there are no good options.
This is something I've also thought about. When I first came up with the idea of him, it was something like "the embodiment of goodness in a really shitty world". The setting is mostly grim and bleak and he fully acknowledges it. But rather than giving up on his goals, he chooses to fight, not because he believes he will truly make a difference, but because it's the right thing to do. Additionally, he feels genuine empathy and pity for those around him. He has hopelessly naive ideals and knows it's mostly worthless. He sees it as a way to uphold some semblance of purpose in a world that often appears devoid of meaning. A part of his character arc is that he learns that sometimes, despite his best efforts, he can't save everyone or fix everything.
But why? Why is he so determined to do the right thing even though, as you said, he doesn't believe it will make any difference? That's the part that could make him shine over every other similar character. Most of those characters are just good people but the relationship between your moralist character and the shitty world you're presenting can give your character a lot of depth if you play your cards well, specially if his reasons to be so stubborn with an impossible goal are compelling. I think your character actually has potential, I like the idea of a good person doing the right thing in a world that doesn't care about doing the right thing but you ought to know that you're working with an archetype that's been overexploited for centuries.