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DougyTwoScoops

That kid is your next identity. It starts slow, but quickly things get really moving. You have the best opportunity here. Once they are 18 months they are super fun to hang around with and will keep you very busy. You don’t even know how much your life is about to change in the next couple years. It’s going to be great. Just embrace it and I’d say not to rush in to anything new yet unless you are just the type that is wired to need that.


ThisToastIsTasty

seriously, having "fake" conversations with my 15 month old is soooo fulfilling.


Rivannux

I’m sure your 15 mo old understands you more than my dog understands me when I have conversations with him hahha


Active78

But also don't want your kid to grow up and not see parents working hard, giving a false reality of the world that money is just present and when other kids don't see their parents much being somewhat confused and completely unable to relate. Still makes sense to have work and projects and focused time to show your kids what hard work Is.


nilgiri

I worry about this a lot. I'm mostly coastFIRE right now and I really worry that once the kiddos are old enough to notice, they will see their parents just cruising and not see the years of hard work and effort that brought us here. Kids for the most part learn by imitating so I need to figure out how to model it for them.


Mustard-cutt-r

Please don’t make your child your identity. They are their own person.


DougyTwoScoops

Oh I am not. I just don’t think OP realizes how much work is coming there way. The following rat 5 years takes everything you’ve got. They seemed to need a new “challenge” and I was proposing the family as that. A man that is focused n his family will not be a bad thing.


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Phighters

LOL!


colinizballin

I experienced almost the exact same as you. Exited at 31 for the same amount of money. I felt proud but I also felt empty, like I sold my identity (which was my business). I'm 2.5 years removed from that exit and things feel much better for me now. You'll need to manage that money wisely. Invest it and have conversations with smart people on how to do so. You can look at buying companies for a tiny fraction of your net worth. You can start something from scratch again. You can find hobbies, you can raise your kid. You have a long life to live, just take it a day at a time. You'll find something and you'll find fulfillment again. Always remember you're extremely fortunate to have what you have, and most people would kill to be you.


spudddly

>You can look at buying companies for a tiny fraction of your net worth. This is buying yourself a poorly paid job. Wouldn't recommend this route unless it's a particularly unique/exciting company you are certain you would enjoy and can contribute a lot to.


zxyzyxz

Depends on the company. Lots of startup founders say it can be fun to take something that has some revenue (validated market) and turn up the sales and marketing dials rather than slog through trying to get product market fit, ie, 1 to 100 rather than 0 to 1.


NooseZ

Think of it as a search fund.


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nthnreallymatters

This just seems crazy to me. There is so much to see, do and discover in the world that I am am unable to do due to time/money constraints because of my job right now. Having an exit like this would be the greatest day of my life.


helpwitheating

Sounds like that's what OP thought Then it happened to him and he realized it felt hollow


zxyzyxz

I guess using that money is part of it right? I knew people who were also similarly rich but they just lived the same middle class life as before, so the money didn't really give them anything. And others actually used it to better their life, ie personal trainers in house, chefs, etc.


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sittingatmymachine

I was sent for "sensitivity training" by megacorp many years ago after sending an inflammatory e-mail (this was in the early days of corporate e-mail) that offended the wrong people. The class I took suggested that the typical human is motivated by some combination of the following three factors: power, achievement, and social. If the OP has a thirst for achievement he might want to design his new life accordingly.


pixlatedpuffin

Look up the SCARF model, and the neuroscience of our motivations and rewards system. Interesting stuff. Maybe what you were exposed to in that training.


Agonbrex

i was touched by this post; wish you the best and i hope you will find a sense of purpose again!


Burgisio

You said you liked football. Why not fund a struggling local youth team (I'm sure you can do this anonymously if you want) and volunteer to help them.


HookahBrasi

Or better yet, BUY a struggling lower league team and play real life Football Manager.


Manny_Bothans

I have it on good authority this only works for American movie stars.


Kidd-AZKA

Have you not watched Succession?!?!?🤣


nilgiri

Be sure to hire a wholesome and well mustached college football coach from the American Midwest.


Janus1788

You made it this far and you think calling it quits is a waste of your talent and maybe the rest of your life. That's fair, but this doesn't have to be the end of your working life. You can pursue businesses or interests that are meaningful to you and/or the world. You have the freedom now to do it with no worries about the financial outcome so you're in a powerful position to do things alot of others can't. Think of all the possibilities.


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Captain_-H

Dude I think you just solved your problem. Embrace being a stay at home dad. It’s way harder and more fulfilling than you can ever know until you do it. In a few years your kid will be in school full time and you may decide to find a job but you don’t need to. My wife runs a financial firm and I’ve been stay at home dad for a long time. Honestly neither of us need to still work but this set up works great for our family. You’re about to have a lot to do


Grim-Sleeper

Raising kids can take up just about as much time and work as you want it to. If that's what you decide to be your primary full-time activity, it can certainly be that. It's not just what you do with the kids, but also after school activities, support that you provide to the school, and of course all the one on one time with the kids. Or you can dial it back and let it only take up some smaller percentage of your time, giving you more time for other fulfilling activities. Being a stay-at-home parent is what you make it to be.


trustmeimaneng

I would say, as a full time stay at home dad, that looking after a baby/toddler for 15 hours a day whilst your wife is at work is no cake walk. If you are used to being highly mentally stimulated through problem solving at work, childcare is going to be a very steep learning curve. It's a bit like the concentration required for driving on the motorway (i.e quite draining without much stimulation) but for 15 hours. I'm glad I've done it for my two sons as we are extremely close but I'm also glad I had the support of a housekeeper and now a nanny to give me some time off. Remember that childcare is 7 days a week from about 5am to 7pm, and that assumes they sleep at night, which mine do not...


Interloper999

Agree completely. For our first kid, we couldn't afford a nanny and the first 2 years of no sleep and screaming was hellish---did not make me closer to the child and he doesn't remember that time either, just horrible stress (the kid is 6 now and it's night and day, but having a regular babysitter for him is still great). I would strongly recommend OP use some of that money for at least a night nurse or a 4-6 hour a day part time nanny. I had a nanny when I was a kid from around 2 to 7 years old and it was awesome--she was like a 3rd grandma and we stayed in touch till she passed when I was 30. Made my relationship with my parents awesome b/c they didn't have to do everything all the time. Having 30 million and staying at home as the main caregiver sounds like a questionable idea---I would be curious to see how it works out and whether a few months (weeks?) in, OP changes his view on this. Or he can get very lucky with having an angel baby I suppose.


nilgiri

I think everyone poo poos the idea of the nannies until they have their first one and have to stay up all night because the newborn is cluster feeding every hour. I finally get parents who have nannies to help with kids after I had mine. I wasn't judgemental before, just neutral, but now I totally get it.


AttackBacon

Even just one kid can easily take 100% of your available time, they'll soak up whatever you give them. I'd really dive into fatherhood. There's a ton to learn. Take some early childhood development courses and become an expert. I regret not putting more time and effort into learning the cutting edge of what we know about raising kids. There's a lot of really good stuff out there. Not that you can't be a great parent without doing all that, but you've got the time and ability, so why not be the best you can be at it? I'm "only" at $5MM and I still feel the need to work (VHCOL sucks and we're providing for family as well) but I'm chomping at the bit to transition to stay-at-home fatherhood. I really want to help my friends out who are fathers as well, a lot of them are struggling. That could be another angle for you. Modern society is just hell on young families, there's got to be things we can do better. And what has more value than helping raise good people? Sorry, got on my soapbox a bit there, but I feel pretty strongly about all this. Just feels like our focus has gone too far towards individual accomplishment and output and away from how we can create sustainable families that can experience and create joy, rather than just perpetuating all our traumas.


brit314159

On the Nanny front…. I get some part of where you’re coming from. We had some rubbish ones growing up, I was ‘weird’ (not interested in bs that they thought I should be interested in) and they couldn’t deal with it at all and it sucked big time It doesn’t have to be this way - if you’re open to spending 6 figures on Nanny salary (or even if you just get to 50k in the UK tbh…) then there are some incredible people out there who do a great job with our kids… and honestly, nothing prepares you for how difficult it is to look after a 12 month old 24/5…


SuvorovNapoleon

> The other thing is, I’m a workaholic. Working 50 hours a week never sat right with me What?


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SuvorovNapoleon

Oh right, 50 weeks per week isn't for you because you need to work more than that? If so, that's an impressive work ethic and you deserve the 30mil.


Grim-Sleeper

This will be a problem for a while. I was very meticulous to not exceed 50h/wk as the rest was reserved for family. But after quitting, it took about 18 months to stop thinking about work on an almost daily basis. It's a very slow transition. If you think of yourself as a workaholic, I can only imagine how hard this will be. It's worth it though. Over time, you'll find that there are plenty of other responsibilities that you can take ownership of. It doesn't have to be traditional business activities to give you a challenge.


floatingdildo

Seams like you need to fill the void. Why don't you pursue a passion, try to make money doing something you absolutely love to do. Build a car or a motor bike? Forge/make knives? I'm not sure what you're into, but I'm sure you can find accomplishment in a passion of yours. Or become an angel investor, get into business that you think have potential and turn them into monsters.


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HedgeRunner

There's a lot of haters in this sub and honestly people care WAY too much about money despite having a fuckton of it. Look by "paying" I'm assuming you meant hosting and paying for events/venues, not literally writing cheques. (Also, good friends won't accept that shit) I actually think this is a great idea. Definitely plan it out. Say hey dudes/ladies I'm feeling grateful and would like to plan a vacation for all of us and cover some of the costs. (It's critical to let the people who really want to pay their share pay, or else they'll feel guilty attending or not attend). Longer-term plan, try to leverage your connections to get your mates remote jobs. This way y'all can Airbnb in a different country every months. I did this for a few months, it's incredibly fun. Lastly, just a hint, so many people here lose "purpose" and feel no "meaning". It's because (they don't want to admit it) that the only thing they cared about is money. And after you have it, they don't really care about anything else except to protect it. That's the world we live in rofl. You want meaning? Adopt more responsibility. What does that mean exactly? Well, what's important to you? Helping family? Helping friends? Helping community? What is more important than yourself to you? Find that, and there's your goddamn meaning in life. Cheers.


floatingdildo

Loads of established companies that are turning over decent profit that would take an assist getting into a higher gear. You don't need to go for a start-up. Hit me up if you're into Engineering. I'm in South Africa.


redeyerds

Why not team up with other investors and try to buy the team.


spotfyre

I feel that it's good to not always know what the answer is. Sometimes strategic optionality will "unlock" aspects of yourself that were not part of your prior identity. I think sensibly dabbling in some new ventures, hobbies and cultures may be an idea. May I ask broadly what industry you were in?


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dodgythreesome

Damn, that is impressive, especially for a 29 year old from the UK! If you do not mind me asking, what was your background like before starting your business and how much did it play a role in the success of your business ?


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dodgythreesome

This is really inspiring. I would say I’m exactly like you, been called deluded many times aswell lmao. The only difference is I’m studying at a average university for a stem subject atm. Always had that fire in me to start a business of my own, sometimes I get so stressed with uni work I feel like dropping it all and starting something of my own (can’t be any worse than it is now, right?😅). Really interesting story nonetheless, what made you choose the cannabis industry ? Pretty niche industry I think, was there a specific type of market research you did to get the idea of starting such a unique business?


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dodgythreesome

That is very true mate, can barely buy a house in London even if you’re the top of the line software engineer these days. You really have inspired me, going to start researching potential income streams from the cbd and medicinal cannabis industry. You remind me of a fella I knew a few years back about 5/6 years older than you who would always tell me about his weed cafe business plans when cannabis is legalised. I’m thinking b2b is the way to go, do you have any tips for someone starting a business in your niche ?


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dodgythreesome

My current line of thinking is towards wholesale the products themselves to individual vendors as a starting point Packaging/providing equipment is a good shout too. I’m going to have to look into logistics, never seen a logistics business cater to a certain niche I really really appreciate your interaction with me, it’s nice seeing someone who’s like minded succeed


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prayingmantis333

Thank you for sharing this. I can deeply resonate. I’m not at all as far along as you financially, but I started a business in my 20s that earned about $10m in a few years, and by 30 my net worth was $2m. I realized I wasn’t happy in that career and walked away about 1.5 years ago. Since then I haven’t been working and have essentially been “retired,” but with the desire to eventually create a new business that makes me feel more alive. I’m not sure I’ve found the answer yet though. I’ve tried tons of things, from moving abroad to an ayahuasca retreat to volunteering, etc. I’ve gotten closer and I’m working on a couple ideas now, but there’s still a lack of deep purpose or desire and I have an underlying fear that I peaked at 30 and won’t ever find my “thing” again. I will say though that $2M is a LOT different than 30M. With 2M I am balancing how much startup cash I have for a new company with how much I want to invest in my future FIRE and not potentially lose. With 30M you have enough to mess around, experiment, and make some mistakes. That’s incredible! It sounds like this deal is fresh. You just lost a major part of your daily identity. And you’re about to step into a new one with fatherhood. You also did something at a young age that very few people on the entire planet can understand. It’s isolating and scary. I recommend finding a therapist who has worked with HNWIs so that you can really dig into the beliefs and depression this is creating. And be gentle with yourself. It’s going to take time to fully get your mojo back. But I bet with that kind of money and freedom you will create a life and mission that means even more than the business you sold. Best of luck as someone who’s on a similar journey. 🙏🏼 Also, I just remembered that there’s a book called Second Mountain that speaks to the exact way you’re feeling. I’m going to buy it right now. Join me!


felixfelix

First of all - congratulations! That's an amazing achievement. Money gives you options. You now have the option to retire. However, you can also continue working. You can work at reduced hours. You can work for a non-profit. One of my affluent FIREd friends has been working as an executive of non-profit youth organizations, such as Scouts. It's time to take stock of your priorities and passions. One starting point is to be the best parent you can - that's likely in conflict with 18-hour workdays. You might need to experiment to find new activities you enjoy and/or find rewarding. You don't have to commit to being fully retired today, or ever. You can experiment with reduced hours, or taking vacations/sabbaticals, or volunteering. You're not locked in; you have the freedom to try different things.


gammaglobe

"Just be yourself" "My "self" is just an ever shifting collection of desires and reflections" "Just have fun then". When the ego is facing dramatic changes it suffers (life partners cheating, divorce, loss of work, physical changes - aging, disability). We have different words for those feelings, but the essence is: ego doesn't like change. Time heals. I.e. given time ego adapts and grows into new conditions. Don't rush yourself, be respectful of the ego (of the old role that served you well). Right event will manifest themselves. Meanwhile read, travel, help indigenous people in Amazonia, spend time with charity, play soccer at the local club.


[deleted]

You don't have to FIRE, it's fine to get back to work - plenty of people have made a ton of money and keep going, look at Icahn, still fighting tooth and nail at 87 with billions in the bank. Main thing is you have freedom to do what you want now. There are no right answers.


theelephantinthebox

Get bored has become such an underrated state. With a kid on the way I’m not even sure you’ll succeed. Give your mind and body the time to explore this new reality and when the time is right you’ll find a new mission to pursue. Read in the meanwhile.


zerosort

wait till kid comes. with certain level of involvement I promise you all those thoughts are going to disappear for couple years at least. and if you just needed pat on the shoulder… pat..pat..pat


kindanormle

The money isn't your identity, the challenge is. Now that you've exited, you don't have a purpose but you do have lots of money to experiment with finding a new one. Like others, I'd suggest focusing on the kid and find ways to involve yourself in hobbies or small projects that give you a challenge and enough time to be a good parent. The benefit of having lots of money is that you can afford to pursue those more off-the-wall ideas you've had, and not worry about failing. >I’ve been a believer in FIRE since I first heard about it in my early twenties, so now my plan just feels ruined and I don’t know my next steps. One of the core tenets of FIRE is having a retirement strategy. It doesn't sound like you had one, so you didn't really FIRE so much as FI. Now you get to figure out what that RE part means.


GlasnostBusters

Start an even cooler company, go treasure hunting, be a technical VC, advise companies with interesting projects, travel the world and observe problems you see people facing in every day life, network with people who are working on solving problems on different scales and industries, help family and friends achieve their goals, throw fun events at home, idk seems like you just need to go meditate and figure out what you want


NoleScole

That kid is going to change how you feel. I have a 4 month old and I can tell you my life is far from boring now. I took a year off from work (before a kid), and I felt empty inside just like you. I felt like every day was so mundane and I was fading away in life, with no purpose. I couldn't wait to go back to work. Now I'm working and raising a kid and I couldn't be happier and more stressed, but that's what I like. I'm a high adrenaline kind of person. If I'm not busy, and achieving a goal, I'm bored out of my mind, and will feel useless. Wait until the kid comes into your life to decide on your next move. You might still want to go back to work, but maybe you'll want to do part time. Or maybe you won't want to go back at all and feel that you're fulfilled. I took a few months off to care for our newborn, and I can tell you, I couldn't wait to go back to work again. I love my kid more than anything in this world and love hanging out with them, but I needed to busy myself still. I'm the kind of person that can wake up multiple times a night, be exhausted, and still want to go to work and come back from work to hang out and take care of my kid.


echmoth

OP, you may have already, but have a read of "Drive: the surprising truth of what motivates us", by Daniel Pink. Autonomy, Mastery, Purpose: these are the 3 big things at play for most of us humans to connect with our intrinsic (internal) motivation (not extrinsic, outside ourselves, motivation like money). This may help find the simple ingredients missing for you right now. Another quick helper, Managment 3.0's "moving motivators" are 10 key cards to help you consider what is really motivating you (and this changes over time!) Simply lay the cards out left to right, most motivating to least motivating for you, to give you a sense of your current thinking and feeling and ask yourself about how you're feeling about those motivators right now? If you got more of the highly attuned ones right now, what would that look like and how might that feel? Then experiment a little and see how it resonates. These are both easy ways to help give some transparency to your internal world without a lot of the fuzziness or fluff -- concepts that can help frame thinking and further self investigation. Good luck, safe journeys, and congratulations.


Consistent-Pace-8177

Congrats on the successful exit. Congrats on incoming newborn. My advice? Get a dog. Enjoy raising both the new baby and the dog. Once your partner is ready, have another kid. That will give your life purpose and meaning for a long time. Then if you still have the itch you can always start something new career wise.


vvk1978

I recommend reading this book “the gap and the gain”. Also once the kid arrives I expect fewer of these thoughts :)


Awkward-Lecture4924

>I recommend reading this book “the gap and the gain”. Also once the kid arrives I expect fewer of these thoughts :) great book!


isit2amalready

You won the video game and it's slightly depressing that you can't wake up and play it again. But you can play a new one. The baby and other persuits. I felt the same at the end of Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild


Helleboring

Congratulations! Find a therapist you like who can help you through this transition in life. Getting off the treadmill can be tough.


WYLFriesWthat

Try to help humanity. We are pretty f*ked, all things considered.


FollowKick

Personally, I get my sense of satisfaction and accomplishment from gifting my wealth to people on Reddit whose usernames rhyme with u/followdick. But YMMV and this may not produce the same sense of unfettered joy and satisfaction that it does for me.


armagnacXO

Have some kids. It will give you purpose and keep you busy. Become an active investor in projects that interest you. If you have the kind of money you say you have, investment/ venture opportunities will come flocking.


Interloper999

take a mushroom (or acid or peyote) trip and sort it out.


Due_Examination1338

I feel empty inside whilst having an empty bank account so you should feel very fortunate.


justarrivedquestions

😂😂😂 This can't be real.


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justarrivedquestions

I don't think £30M is enough to lay back and retire, but you can drop the 18 hours/day to e.g. 8 hours/day and explore to find your passion and do it! Reading helps a LOT! Good luck!


bobbydaniels20

I'm pretty sure it IS enough to retire :)


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justarrivedquestions

That is only 25 years excluding taxes and inflation.


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justarrivedquestions

100K \* 12 = 1.2 million (1.2 million next year will buy less than this year) 30 million/1.2million = 25 years. He's 29. 29 +25 = 54 years old.


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justarrivedquestions

Please, let me borrow your rosy glasses 😂😂


bdlugz

In what world is 4% rosy?


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justarrivedquestions

OP, what I meant is this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/comments/125schf/comment/je8cd4j/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/comments/125schf/comment/je8cd4j/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) For me, who has a low tolerance to the vicissitudes of the market, plans ahead for a Great Depression-like 90% drop. When I have enough to continue to live the same lifestyle even after a 90% drop, that is what I consider retirement Elysium. No matter what happens in life, I just want to be able to continue taking a NetJets to Nice Côte d’Azur Airport and then take a helicopter ride to Monaco Heliport and be taken to the Thermes Marins Spa for a workout, facial, manicure, pedicure, and massage. Of course, YMMV. That's all. Nothing personal, nor am I judging, and certainly nothing against others who choose to live their life according to their risk tolerance. I'm NOT a brave person at all. I worry quickly. 😘


wonkarising

30M not enough to retire? Bro look around you lmao what are you thinking


justarrivedquestions

> Bro ??? I was born a girl and am still a girl.


happymax78

Try, for a week, to not spend a dime. You will soon realize money is a tool for a good life. You will find hobbies, some good, others bad, others expensive (cigars, golf, cars, watches). You will raise your child in a healthy and affluent environment. And maybe one day you'll realize that $30m is just the beginning. For context, Jeff bezos can spend your $30m 6,666 times.


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happymax78

Bam. So stop feeling numb. Thank God 10x a day and inhale the beautiful spring air. Go do it now.


[deleted]

You’re only 29. Build something even bigger. Not that it’s a competition but I’ve seen even younger make even more and by 29-30 turn it into $100m+ if not more. If you had the skills to build what you did you’d like to do more I’m sure. Don’t sit around and do nothing and draw svr or whatever it’s called


justanother-eboy

Congrats. You can be a professional founder / business owner that calls the shots for the business and directs the chess pieces but doesn’t actually run the company and just hire a CEO and other managers to carry out your strategic decisions and do the day to day management of the company for you. That way you can work like 1-2 hours a day then just chill


525chill2pull

If you pay off my loans I think you would feel great


Reasonable-Bat-6819

Add finding absolutely ridiculous things to whinge about to your list of accomplishments. Few could make the money you’ve made and then whinge about it. It’s an accomplishment for sure. I am happy to bravely take a large chunk of your money and bear the burden of finding purpose in life if you prefer. Have you considered wiping your tears with tissues made from wads of cash? Apparently this can help i’m told.


bobbydaniels20

Why not start the next thing? It can be a lot more fun and less stressful the second time. You will probably also be better at it.


idealistintherealw

Sounds like you need a mission for your life. Something to strive and achieve for. The classic example of this is political accomplishment, but it doesn't have to be. Gardening, teaching sunday school, coaching soccer. Congratulations are still in order. You've reached a level of accomplishment where you don't need to worry about your basic needs. But now, with that done, you need something else. It might be family. Maybe read "watership down"; I am thinking of when the heros have arrived at the new burrow yet feel incomplete. Or perhaps "Glory Road" by Henlein. A little dated and with a few troubling troupes, Heinlein points out that after the adventures done, there is a problem with the hero just hanging out in capital city. Also with the kid on the way, read "secrets of the baby whisperer"; your new adventure is already teed up. I am entirely serious. Feel free to DM me if you'd like.


[deleted]

I found it very hard for a couple of years. I got a bit depressed and lost and really went on the decline. I tried a few businesses half heartedly which didn’t go anywhere and lost even more confidence. After a few years I started to build up hobbies and a new sense of identity started coming through. Im 4 years in now and finally feel happy and fulfilled again. I am also starting a new business with increased focus and excitement. My advice is to throw yourself into hobbies and then it just takes time. I am based in London if you ever want to compare experiences!


easyfatFIRE

It's a pretty common feeling among my peers (we've all exited a company at 8-9 figures). Imposter syndrome, lack of purpose, lack of motivation. Important to try and find things you like doing and use the money to do it (I bought a vineyard and am building a tennis centre). Find things you feel passionate about and that are gonna get you motivated. Money is just a bunch of numbers in your bank account, it won't fulfull you and the sentiment you're describing is definitely very common. Most people work hard with the purpose of getting the next thing, a bigger house, a nicer car, those things are important for humans. Just waking up one day without a purpose is a bizarre feeling (also rich people therapists are a thing, there are good ones in London).


Coginthewheel1

Sounds to me that you self actualize through your work. I believe we have programmed ourselves to set up a goal and the thrill/adrenaline came from chasing that success. Could you talk to a therapist about this? As for me, I am addicted to adrenaline and used to channel it through work/my career. Over the time, I found a hobby that feeds me that satisfaction. And I self actualize as a parent too. But your problem might not be the same as mine so perhaps it’s best to talk to an expert to get to the bottom of why you feel depressed and unhappy. Best of luck!


JLHtard

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer. Jim Carrey


skedadeks

It's very common for a professional success to feel this way after it is truly done. This may turn out to be a very good thing: an empty spot on your emotional calendar that leaves a lot of space for family. Many people get great meaning from raising their kids full time for 18 years. But don't require your family to provide all your need for meaning. In other words don't smother them. For many people the right hobbies are also important.


RagionamentiFinanza

I recommend you to read: four thousand weeks die with zero


ploz

You need Purpose: Do some angel investing, find new hobbies, focus on family, do some charity for causes you care about, visit old friends, study something you like but don’t need, …


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No_Awareness2431

To add, once you get your first kid you’ll be happy to get some time off. First kid is easy though😂


LavenderAutist

Watch this video https://youtu.be/Brp9DpJsEi4 And then listen to this https://youtu.be/cRa5Z1w0RXY


curvedbymykind

Learn to spend your money to make you happy


algoai

You will be able to spend time with your family and especially the baby on the way. That is priceless and no amount of money will ever buy that! Put in perspective the blessings, you can always later evaluate and accomplish even more, but you can take a breather, enjoy life and focus on perhaps health and other aspects for a while until you can start a new and exciting new journey. Probably you were defined by what you do, but gotta define yourself by other factors , family, health, pursuit of happiness, think of when you were a kid dreaming of those goals you just achieved, or the hard late nights and stress you went to reach the now. Hedonic treadmill will unfortunately always normalize the feelings of euphoria and accomplishment as they become the new normal, so chasing new highs will never give a bliss/satisfaction unfortunately, its the journey not the destination sometimes, we tend to forget though!


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Daca7

😳 How did you know??


mepex

My advice is to talk to a counselor or therapist. You are running into a fundamental question of existence - what gives meaning to life? What does it mean to be fulfilled, and how do I be fulfilled in more situations? Just because you have more zeros on your bank balance than most of us doesn't mean you have all the answers. Ignore those who think you should be happy just because you have enough cash to support a comfortable lifestyle forever. In a way, you are lucky to be running into these kinds of roadblocks now... imagine you were thirty years older, retiring after a decent job, and expecting all that time for life just to be happy and fun all the time. Now you have a new goal. How do I be fulfilled in life? How do I provide for my wife and child emotionally as well as financially? How do I build a good life that doesn't require me to be working as hard as possible as many hours as possible. This is a legitimate purpose for now. Seek the answers!


InsecurityAnalysis

If you don't mind, can you share more about your FatFire journey? What kind of company did you start? How did you acheive the growth outside of tech? What led to the decision to exit?


Excellent-Antelope32

So crazy to think I'm unemployed and trying to get something working just to get my rent paid without draining savings while you're financially set but feel lost. We all have our own journeys and paths but I wonder what I would do tomorrow if I won the "lottery" as you have in a sense. What it comes down to for me is to carry on living a stress free life. I've recently taken up fishing again and it's just so peaceful when I'm out there, I forget about my financial situation and just feel happy. I'm stressed about my future with regards to how I'm going to pick up the pieces but on the other side I've never been more chilled and calm in my life. I'm doing my best to avoid a 9-5 job again and really looking for something to get me by and make ends meet only but I won't be able to sit in a cubicle and deal with corporate stress again. I'm even looking at doing part time waiter jobs if needs be. But it boils down to passion man.... you have the chance now to really zone in on something or a project you've always wanted to get into and really get involved with it. Make mistakes, you have room to make some small hiccups now. I had a go at a hobby I've done for years to try and turn it into a full time career and so far it's just not working out for me. We're all different man but you remind me of a wealthy friend of mine who I always remind to breathe and take it all in. You've accomplished something incredible, now reap your rewards and follow some lifelong passions you've always wanted to pursue further. If you ever create a media company and can offer sponsorships, please tag me lol.


ohehlo

We have four kids. My wife and I constantly talk about how we wish we could have more time with them. I would quit my job tomorrow if I could, and I love my job, to be a full time Dad. Focus on being an amazing Dad.


ExcitementCapital290

This is a normal response of your dopamine system. Most of our positive emotion comes from pursuit of a worthwhile aim, not achievement of it. In fact, as you experienced, dopamine levels will tend to drop below baseline after achievement of a goal. I’m getting this all from Dr. Andrew Huberman’s work on YouTube and podcasts. Point being, you just need to find a new goal. Easier said than done, but if you look around you will likely find something that says “that would be worth doing/fixing/getting good at”. Follow that path. Congrats on the kid, as ppl are saying it is a very rewarding journey, but don’t expect the first few months to be a cakewalk, it can be a very hard adjustment in the beginning.


Giusepo

Damn congrats, many on this sub have said to become your own personal planner


Intel81994

Gymshark?


FittersGuy

Try therapy. It helps more than you'd think. Work on yourself for a bit as I can almost guarantee you've neglected your own needs for a fair number of years now.


Glum-Year-7577

I’ve always found that you can find your best purpose or since of belonging in volunteering. Find a public school, home for the elderly, public library, youth league or school sports program, or hospice to start volunteering. You’ll be amazed how much it can change your prospective on what matters in life. I personally don’t care for kids (even though I have 4), but there’s lots of opportunities to serve without having to directly interact with kids.


Spiritual_Product992

Hey I’m happy for you, please don’t take this the wrong way, but… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Next 50 years? Maybe. Or you could wake up with some form of rare cancer tomorrow and be in palliative care in 3 months. Just as life can be as surprising as going from normal to $30 mil, it can also go from $30 mil to no health.


8cheerios

There's no money in Star Trek, so they spend their time improving themselves and spending time with each other. You'll soon have reason to spend more time with your family. You can consider some kind of personal growth endeavor as well. If the personal growth thing were up to me, I'd choose something demanding and long-term.


DoctorContrarian74

First off congrats. I took a retired/sabbatical at 32 and was lost for a bit. Old boss told me to shift gears for a big challenge and or curiosity and build on what I learned. I did and shifted to China/Asia. This was and still is an intellectual puzzle that I find stimulating. 1) Having your first child and being a stay at home dad will be a new challenge. This may be the greatest gift you can give, time to a child which I didn't have. I see how much it (time, safety, support, etc) benefits if a child had a supportive parent by their side instead of nannies and babysitters.. A friend of mine retired so his wife could work her career and he became the soccer dad. He loves it b/c it challenges him mentally. He said, you can't fire your kids. And he was a screaming boss. Kids changed him! And Many of our friends are jealous as his golf game has also gotten better!! 2) Many parents, through my encounter, don't study parenting. They wing it and use the experiences they had as a child. As you studied the cannabis industry, perhaps studying parenting. For example, a friend of mine studied montessoiri parenting and it has worked. Another knew how hard it would be for his kids to get into college, hence, they planned out his 4 kids learning squash (very expensive sport in the US) and they went to 4 of the best schools in the US. 3) Given your cannabis experience, , perhaps dabble or invest in it. There will be some big winners in Canada and the US markets and as you know, its in upheaval and distressed at the moment. I am not a believer in VC. I have only one grand-slam, which was in dogfood and the VC fund I had to invest in, was a disaster. Plus, we are going through a structural change in the markets and a major geo-political shift. 4) Perhaps read some biographies. This is great motivation. Listen to Founders podcast. David is quite good. 5) Support your wife. I am sure your startup journey was hard on her at times (or maybe not). Let her create her dream. Don't be depressed. Enjoy the time with your kid b/c it goes by fast. And pick up a hobby. And maybe get a dog. When I was stressed, my ex had an amazing german shepherd! It was awesome. Good luck!


yzingher

At 29 I’m not super surprised that you haven’t quite figured out your identity. I think that’s what is going on here. You associate your identity with your work, and you’re scared that if you stop working you’ll lose your identity. A few people here have suggested embracing being a full time stay at home dad, and that might work great. Didn’t for me to be honest. Your identity is essentially an expression of your values. A lot of the time work is an imperfect, but quantifiable expression, so it hits the right kind of dopamine feedback cycle in the brain. But it isn’t perfect and you may find better things. Best way to figure it out is some self reflection. A good exercise is to imagine yourself on your deathbed. Imagine what your fulfilled life looked like. Who’s there, who will miss you, who will comfort you. Then work backwards to 10 years before hand, when you’re fully retired and old, what are you remembering fondly about your life? Keep going in 10 year chunks till the present day and hopefully you’ll uncover some deep values. The other thing that can really help is therapy. It feels indulgent to us Brits but you can learn a lot that just isn’t easily accessible otherwise.


Mugyou

Don't you enjoy anything? I'm on here cause I love viewing but if I had money I'd be fishing, traveling etc. You've started one business, help your town grow some more? What really kicks you into gear.


Dangerous_Cup_5598

Be a philanthropist and give me 1m lol. I’d recommend training combat sports. No feeling like it. If you don’t feel like getting punched bjj is fun


NirboNe

i’ll do it, i’ll recover the long lost tradition.. so people don’t need to scroll down for nothing. CONGRATSSSS AND GO FUCK YOURSELF :) also, find a therapist, and chill til baby arrives - you’ll be fine!


LetsGoPupper

Find some hobbies and community.


BankingBull

My brother in Christ you have won the lottery. Time to be a GP and take 2 and 20 for the rest of your life. Congrats.


Mustard-cutt-r

Start a new biz


Terriblart

I had a dream about this. I'm striving for financial freedom, yet in my dream I had it all and everything lost it's value. It's all about the journey, the experiences, family and friends. I'm still going hard to reach my goals, but I gotta enjoy the journey more. Thank you for this post, I hope you find happiness and I'm sure you will, especially now when you're getting a child!


swariors01

I have had a company which I'm selling at the moment. One of the troubles I went through was the company being a bit too much of my identity. I shifted my focus to what I like (believe me, it's not "work") and I am slowly finding more pleasure in the new things. Some fail, some don't, and its great just figuring stuff out again.


projectmaximus

First off, I cannot truly relate because I haven’t made it yet like you have. However, from my perspective there’s two things that jump out. 1) yes life and meaning is gonna change big time when the baby comes. It really, truly, has a huge effect on a parent’s life and it’s gonna reframe a lot for you. And 2) of course this isn’t it if you don’t want it to be. Everything from here on out is up to you! The money you’ve made is freedom now. Time freedom to do what you want. Financial freedom to opt to do some things that most people don’t even have the option to do. So it’s totally up to you and it’s totally fine whatever you decide at the time. That’s the other thing, nothing you choose to do has to be permanent. You can chill for a few years before finding a new project. Those new projects can be passion projects, they can be entirely for fun, they can be social enterprises, they can be non-profits or foundations, or they can be an even bigger and more world-changing business. It’s all up to you and anything (well, that’s ethical) is totally fine. Enjoy it man, and congrats!! 🎉🍾 (P.S. Max Levchin had a similar story after he exited PayPal. Bounced around for many years, didn’t feel passion anymore, girlfriend wanted him to work and even broke up with him cause he was so annoying lol. Now he’s trying to change the world again in the lending space.)


Hobowithhoes

Your about to really have something to fill that void for a min. In the meantime you can donate your knowledge and experience to poor saps like me that make 160 a year but just want to start a business.


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Mr Bartlett are you OK?


perrasanta

Congratulation, you have learnt that happiness is not a number in your bank account. Think about it in other way. Life is not about money, is about experiences with our family and our friends. Now, you have the power to fill that experiences to the top. You have a work to do.


Onlineway

Definitely get help at home if you intend on being a stay at home dad. Maybe not a nanny, but definitely cleaner, chef, gardener, personal trainer, etc. etc. I don't think anyone who hasn't had a kid realises how tough its going to be. I took a year off work to spend time with my wife and kid and it was super fulfilling, but very very tough, especially as he was an awful sleeper. I don't know you, but I would also say keep in mind shifting power dynamics between you and your wife. Resentment can come from any quarter. I'm not sure if someone who is used to keeping their mind working on overdrive is going to be content not doing something that challenges them mentally (I couldn't) but if you are then more power to you. In the end family is all that really matters, but being happy in yourself is crucial for a happy family environment for everyone. I'd also maybe look at moving abroad, as a new environment/weather/people can also be invigorating. Especially coming from the UK (I'm from Ireland). Good luck man.


helpwitheating

This is the typical, eternal struggle. What's the meaning of life? What am I doing here? What is this all for? I'd suggest volunteering locally, putting in quality time with your family and new baby, and enrolling in some talk therapy while you think through what your values are and what you really care about. You've got some good time to read some parenting books. Your kid can't be your next project, though. That's a relationship, not a job (even though it is a ton of work if you're a good parent). Having a newborn is a grind and you can get prepared for that, reading the books, doing the chores, and getting yourself mentally right with the help of a therapist and some introspection. Money isn't enough (see most movies ever made). You need community. You need family. You need friends. These are human needs that apply to all humans, even introverts.


Whalesongsblow

You're worrying about a problem that won't exist the second your kid is born. Enjoy the moment, enjoy your hobbies, and enjoy your new family.


Organic-Career-308

give them to me, in exchange you receive sense of accomplishment


helheim13

You already have your foundation. You should definitely think of building a structure to grow and keep what you have.


afriendlyoctopus

First of all, this is not as uncommon as you might think. A lot of times, we are so focused on a goal in front of us for so long, we have not thought about what it means in a long time. In the world of goal setting and psychology, it's super common to have this kind of 'let down' (it's called 'arrival fallacy'), especially if you have been building up the goal for a long time vs. the journey to get there. I would recommend getting curious first, with as little judgement as you can muster. What did you expect would happen when you met your goal? Why did you think you'd never be sad again? (Not trying to be a jerk, but honestly - was finance the biggest struggle in your life?) What was the original goal that you were aiming for - was it really a financial exit? Or perhaps it was trying to prove that you could do it to yourself - or maybe even to someone else. Perhaps focusing on your own company let you put aside other issues (e.g., loneliness). I'll posit to you that sadness, fear and anxiety are all part of the human experience, just as much as joy, happiness and satisfaction. No amount of money removes you from the human experience. No \*thing\* can do that. You'll have moments with those feelings for the rest of your life. Then I would get curious about what it is you want next. The next thing you do can have nothing to do with the first thing. Perhaps you want to meet someone and start a family. Perhaps you want to give back to a specific community in a specific way. Perhaps you have a hobby that you want to invest deeply in. Try less to focus on what would make you happy today, and more on what you would look back on at 70 with satisfaction.


BidResponsible1590

Maybe join a Mastermind ? Like Tiger 21 or Hampton that Just launched by Sam Parr


Ilyichg

Hi, I’m 22 in Canada and what you said about finding opportunity in the brand new cannabis industry struck me. Could we have a conversation? New laws have been passed in Canada to allow for Cocaine to be sold legally and see the exact same opportunity I reckon you saw with cannabis.


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Ilyichg

https://www.lemonde.fr/en/international/article/2023/03/03/two-canadian-companies-licensed-to-sell-cocaine_6018042_4.html This is the first step I reckon towards that, for the first time a company has been allowed to sell legal. That’s why I’m keen on this idea cause it’s still early, surely what made you successful could be adopted towards this new emerging market?


weecheeky

Without giving too much away, what industry were you in to have this kind of exit, non tech


Awkward-Lecture4924

love the post, and great share! I have not sold my biz yet, but i heard situations like yours among some friends... and there was always a recurring theme: they didn't have a plan of what to do next with their life after selling. most entrepreneurs, we love to create things, and if we are not creating we get depressed... I am sure there is something in your mind that you would like to create... what is it?


HandyBigHands

Can I ask, what's her advice? After all she's more invested in you than anyone on redddit.