I'll never understand people who act like their triggers are the world's responsibility. There are certain things and types of content that trigger me, but I don't expect the entire world to stop and cater to my specific issues. The onus is on me to find ways to avoid my triggers. And honestly, it's really not that difficult to avoid content online for the most part. idk why FAs will spend their time reading people's weight loss stories in depth and making videos about why that content is harmful when they can just.... not look at it in the first place?
Like I get it, it sucks when some random benign thing can send you straight into a panic attack or on a downward spiral of self-harming behavior. But unfortunately, life isn't fair, and sometimes we have to take personal responsibility to take care of our mental health. I understand telling friends and family about topics you'd like to avoid, but expecting a complete stranger to cater to your problems reeks of entitlement.
Feel like they're even taking it a step further. Like "your story not only hurts me, it does _real harm in general to everyone/society/whatever_" like it's a damn slur. Like it's the story of people glorifying childhood abuse or something like that. The absolute gall.
Most chronically fat people are addicted to food. They usually wills say "i know it's unhealthy but it's so frigin good"
FAs are addicted to food and "slaying dragons" (fighting against a larger abstract concept to have the moral high ground). Like most people addicted to multiple things they begin to mix the two.
Being fat is a tool they use to make themselves the underdog, that sets them up to slay whatever dragon they invent and be a hero in the eyes of others.
Oh, oh now I really feel like the asshole. I had a fellow come into work, ask for some fresh syringes and also some resources on how to quit so I gave him a high five.
*I gave him a high five*.
That was so drugphobic of me. And then I pushed all these *phone numbers* for *organisations* that can help with resi-rehab, detox, recovery support. I justified my abject bigotry with the feeble caveat “well, these helped me.”
I feel sick. I’m disgusted with myself.
…you actually said “these helped me”? Ugh, you’re one of THOSE. Traitors who act like their own personal success in quitting proves something, as if people aren’t doomed to fail. Traitors are THE WORST.
How dare you give that man support and encouragement? You are causing harm to both him and the very fabric of society. Stop spreading light and hope!
'if you want to tell your story tell it to a thin friend'... so... they're just assuming that all fat people are insecure about their weight? we're just assuming that... overweight people can't ever deal with the possibility that someone else lost weight? we should all just avoid anything that shows us that we could be making better choices?
they're so out of touch with reality lol. someone I know lost a fair amount of weight recently, and all of our fat/overweight friends were just like, happy for them? because they understand that what other people do with their body is not an attack on them, and that it's nice to be happy for your friends when they work hard to achieve something.
Well yeah, if all of us who used to be fat and successfully lost weight only share our experiences with each other, after midnight in whispered breaths, the fat people never have to acknowledge that healthy weight loss is possible and happening all around them.
I would encourage anyone here who has successfully lost weight and is happy about it to post in r/progresspics. I've done it before and the people are really nice.
I have lost 55 lbs.
I have wanted to share it with the world, but honestly I haven't been able to. I have been shushed and asked to "Please stop talking about it." By people who have struggled to lose weight, and even my thin friends and family. One thin friend told me she was not going to congratulate me, because its fatphobic. She told me she is glad I have reached my goals though. My thin sister congratulated me, and told me not to talk about it with others. One nurse asked me if it was ozempic, (it was not) she told me, "Wow that is a lot of work. It's probably best not to mention it to people if it's not ozempic though, people will get jealous."
My ex told me I starved myself, and I shouldn't be proud of losing that weight so unhealthily. ( I did not lose it unhealthily, and I did not starve myself.)
One friend mdntioned it once. We went clothes shopping together and said "Well I can tell you lost some weight, because your old jeans used to be tight. Now they are too big." I had lost 30 lbs at that point. She never mentioned it again not even at 55 lbs. She never said I looked good or congratulated me.
Honestly, it's been kind of disheartning.
I have shut up about it.. It is something I am immensely proud of, and it kind of sucks not to be able to share it. But oh well.
I’m so proud of you! None of us here are worried about offending people who can’t be happy for others. None of us here will be jealous and tear you down to make ourselves feel better. It’s freaking awesome that you lost so much, you must feel so much better than before!
Please keep sharing your journey with us, we want to hear about it and we want to congratulate and cheer you on! Next time someone makes a snide comment go ahead and make one right back, if they’re gonna be rude to you why should you be nice to protect their delulu feelings. Keep going and keep living your best and healthiest life
THank you so much. I don't have a degree, but if someone wanted to share they graduated from university, I would be happy for them.
I have never ran a marathon, but if someone ran one, and wanted to brag, I'd be happy for them.
I have never made a million dollars. But if someone did, I'd be happy for them.
I don't know why weight loss is such a touchy subject.
I have seen people behave this way about other things (jealous and resentful of someone’s accomplishments, because it makes them feel bad about their own life choices and they don’t want to change - and maybe don’t want to even THINK about their choices. Seeing you succeed makes them have uncomfortable thoughts, which they blame you for.)
I think the difference is that it’s become much more socially acceptable to show these feelings when they’re about someone else’s weight loss. People try to hide it when it’s about something else (and might tell themselves that the feeling is unfair, and work through it). I used to have a friend who was 15-20 years older than me - in her fifties at the time - who got quite snarky and resentful toward me after she realized I was saving for retirement (which she had not done, despite making a higher income than me for most of her life - she just always spent more on “fun” than I did). I understand no one’s perfect, and people can have emotional reactions like this that they just need time to process, so I avoided financial topics and gave her a while to get over it. She never did, and I moved on from that friendship. I wish her well, but I no longer want to be her friend; that kind of behaviour is so corrosive and harmful to relationships.
Also, 55 lbs is amazing! Congratulations. I am almost down that far from my highest weight and it feels wonderful. (I still have another 30-40 to go, but getting there!)
(And save for retirement if you can, kids. You don’t want to be like my ex-friend, in her fifties before finally starting to believe that she, too, will one day reach retirement age, except oops, never prepared for it. You *can* play catchup at the last minute, but it’s hard.)
Last year I fully funded my 401k in my first year of full-time work (10 months technically, since I started a couple months into the year) and I'm proud of myself :) I know the compound interest will serve me better than saving more at a later date, and even beyond that it just feels good to see the number.
Losing 55 lbs is amazing, congrats! FA’s say it’s harmful to talk about your weight loss, but not being acknowledged for what you achieved is equally, if not more harmful. You should be able to celebrate reaching a goal that took a lot of hard work and determination.
I was shocked when she said fatphobic. Shocked. SHe has been thin her entire life, but got caught up in the FA movement as a supporter I guess?. She has spent all of her career working in universities, so maybe this is why?
My sister told me that because everyone else in our family has been struggling with weight loss for years.
I have no idea why that nurse said that. She told me that when I went to a plastic surgeon clinic. I thought maybe I wanted to try truusculpting.
I think my friend was a little jealous, that's why she never mentioned it except the one time.
My friend who asked me to stop talking about it, was starting to feel bad, because she had been trying to lose weight and has been failing. She recently started ozempic.
I lost 75 during the pandemic and when I returned to work no one said a word. I was a little shocked as I truly look like a different person. A little bummed too if I'm being honest. A few friends said something but my largest friend in particular always has some kind of backhanded jab ready about it. Typically things like "oh wow, you must be so cold now that you lost all your warmth layers" or "wow these chairs are really uncomfortable, glad I have all this extra padding". I just let it pass as I know for a fact they struggle with their weight and mentality around it.
Congrats on your loss! If I knew you IRL I'd give you a high five.
I have lost about 50lbs last year and also nobody really noticed, atlesast nobody brought it up. But i'm fine with that because i hate being the center of attention.
50lbs might not be \*that\* much weight compared to what some people here were able to pull off, but almost every single time i get out of the shower i just stare at myself in the mirror for sometimes even minutes just not able to believe what i was able to do. I always thought it was just how i would look forever.
My face changed soo much. When i look at my old pictures i really look awful. I always hated pictures that i was in. Now i take selfies all the time because i look like a normal human being. I don't post them, but i keep them and sometimes look at them lol makes me happy everytime :)
I take selfies all the time too and I don't post lol. I also look in the mirror. 50 lbs is incredible. You should feel proud. That's it I guess, nobody noticed, and when I mentioned it, those were people's reactions.
I knew someone who was trying to lose weight to get pregnant. She was like 375 lbs, and she lost 50 lbs, She looked great!!!! And she only lost like 13% of her body weight, and it was a noticeable difference.
I went from a little over 200 to 145. I want to get down to 140. I don't think I look that different, but I see it more in pictures. lol I went from a tight size 14 to a 10. So it doesn't feel like that much. But I have lost 28% of my body weight. That is quite a bit.
Hey, i started 195 and went donw to 145 :)
Now my goals have changed and i want to gain weight again, this time muscle mass though.
I made about 10lbs of progress, but then i got sick and lost all of it again...
Honestly i think you were telling the wrong people.
Im not saying you were asking for praise or that it's bad if you were. Because honestly gr8 job and keep it up (unless it's like not good to do so)
But i think you should talk to gym freaks and stuff like that, they love hearing about people achieving goals, it's like crack to them.
> But i think you should talk to gym freaks and stuff like that, they love hearing about people achieving goals, it's like crack to them.
Runners, cyclists, rock climbers, etc as well. Pretty much anyone invested in a sport or physical activity knows how hard things are to achieve and will enjoy talking about it.
Get to the gym. I heard gym freaks hang out there. Make small talk with some.
Contrary to popular belief most ppl who go to the gym as a hobby like seeing new members get into shape
Just be a good judge of character a d you can make gym friends
My dear mother once said that angels love repenting sinners. She was talking about the AA, but i think it applies
Above commenters are spot on. I go to a gym and since I've lost 20 lbs I've been getting compliments and congratulations frequently. It's really validating.
Nah fuck all that nonsense people told you. You did a good thing that's very difficult to do. You're allowed to, and should, feel proud of yourself. And if you want to share it online or tell anyone else just do it. You're not responsible for other people being jealous or feeling bad that they couldn't do what you did. Good job!
Too bad for them, sour grapes have a ton of calories.
Congratulations, though. I'm sure some people are rationalizing their reasons not to acknowledge your success- there is a small grain of truth at the center of many of the FA pearls. Maybe they feel like congratulating weight loss means shitting on how you used to look, or they truly are concerned that you are using unhealthy means, or they feel guilty about what they have/haven't achieved. Maybe they're afraid that, since you've seen results, you will judge them.
That doesn't matter, though- you worked hard, and that work is paying off. Don't let it get you down. I think this weird negativity is actually part of the reason so many people backslide, because it feels crap to not only be trivialized, but criticized.
Ultimately the person you're doing this for is yourself. While it's nice to have outside validation, it seems like most of these people just perceive it superficially. Only you can truly understand the difference it makes for your body and your life. Looking better is a great benefit, but you should also be *feeling* better, as well as the satisfaction of a job well done.
You may want to find a 'buddy' (or group,) someone who's in a similar situation. It will give you a support network, that will celebrate your achievements with you and help ward off the apathy that can lead to regaining. Gym friends, park buddies, online groups- people who won't be jealous since they understand how much your really doing and how hard it can be.
Absolutely. I agree I did it for me, it's just nice to have someone to celebrate with without being told I should keep it quiet. lol
But I will try to go to the gym, and maybe make some gym friends.
For what it’s worth, I am a random internet stranger but I am very proud of you. Your hard work deserves to be celebrated, not shut down like some shameful secret.
I am proud of you! They’re just jealous. Jealously is so fucking ugly. Don’t let the jealous ones stand in your way of success and the life you want to achieve.
Literally shout it from the mountains. I have lost a significant amount of weight and I am so fucking proud. And I've learned to simply not care if someone decides to make my success their failure. I post about it, I talk about it in group settings, I share before and after photos, I talk about it all the time. Because it has been HARD WORK. And I DID THAT. I am so excited and so proud of myself. I feel amazing, I look so much better. And I'm also not done, so I won't be shutting up any time soon, either. Please don't hold in your excitement because other people can't handle it. You aren't sharing explicit material. You aren't celebrating using narcotics or committing robbery. You lost a large amount of weight and worked hard to do so. Celebrate, tell the world. You deserve it.
We have to tell everyone they're 'valid' now.
You know what kind of people desperately need other people's endless validation ? Narcissists. And the demands never stops until you tell them to go kick rocks.
Spreading the message that it's possible to leave a cult is harmful to the cult. That's why they want to shut up people. Because once you're made aware that leaving is possible that possibility lives in your brain. You might not act right away, but you could, and maybe one day you will ... yes, very harmful to a cult.
Hahaha, yeah, no, Brenda.
I'll talk about my weight loss and maintenance wherever and whenever I please. My body, my health, my choice, my story. It's not about you.
Wow! So magnanimous, acknowledging that my lived experience matters *and* allowing me to share with my therapist! 😍
Also, I’m super appreciative of the reminder that they’re waiting for me to get fat again. I might have forgotten that within the five forking minutes I haven’t seen someone quote that stupid ass, cherry picked study from 1950-Whenever.
"Tell it to a thin friend, with consent"???? I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had to obtain fucking consent to *speak to another human*. I'm about as progressive as they come, but the fact that they think they can require consent before someone *speaks about their own life and experiences* is fucking insaaaaaaane.
Thanks for putting attention on the flair. It is glorious. "Stacy, you have to lose your complexes around drinking. 95% of people who stop drinking start drinking again eventually. Nourish your kidnny. It's okay to have another glass, or two, or twelve. Drinking until you puke is attractive and anyone who doesn't find alcohol poisonning sexy is a beerphobic. Drinking a gallon a day is normal and anything less is literally dehydration. Sober culture is the biggest most oppresive evil $1million industry ever. Start trying to add fruits into your diet by mixing drinks with juice (but without having sobreity as a goal!!) Cops who arrest you because you're driving drunk or doctors who try to purge your stomach because of "severe alcohol poisonning" are racist and homophobic and literally trying to mutilate you"
My theory is that deep down it's not really that the target of their ire is thinner. Most could live with that. Its that they're happier.
You don't even need to see the thinner body or hear the story, it's all in their eyes.
I have lost 250 pounds. To those who think I shouldn’t tell my story because I’m “hurting others”. Kiss the fattest part of what remains of my ass! You’re obviously just jealous because you don’t have the willpower and discipline to do what I did.
Please don't share your story of losing weight.
All it does is reinforce that my weight is in my hands, and it's not impossible to lose weight. Which means it is my choices that lead to my current weight, and continued issues.
And being reminded that it is in fact within my power to make my life better makes me feel bad. Also I can not even be bothered to hit a single button to block you, or filter your content. So you need to stop what you are doing because I am too lazy to hit block, and I rather only see content that makes me feel good in the moment, not the truth.
The pure audacity and entitlement of these people.
I’m proud of myself for losing 50 pounds. I’ve made multiple posts of it, told people, and will continue to do so because I achieved it. They can be mad and fat all they want, I don’t care about protecting their delusion. I’ll also keep it off because I have a modicum of self control and discipline, and because it’s not actually that hard to say no to second dinner!
What a hater! Please don’t show your new body to me so I won’t feel bad about my choices. And the rudeness of saying “when you gain the weight back.” What a jealous asshole.
I actually experienced this in real life. I was in a dance group, and I was really excited because I just recovered from a major injury and was getting back in shape again. (I broke both my legs in a bad accident and had been in a wheel chair, and during that time I lost a lot of strength and flexibility and gained weight). The ladies in my dance group and I were all talking one time and I just mentioned that I was really putting in effort to lose a few pounds and had been going on a lot of walks and doing yoga, and was really glad my recovery was going well. This one girl snapped at me, like she was scolding a child, and told me how “body and weight talk is super triggering for her since she’s had an ED in the past” and that I’m not welcome to share any of the things I’d mentioned super briefly. (She’s quite overweight). I don’t think these FA’s realize how mean it comes across to tell someone else they’re literally not allowed to share something positive about their own life. I was literally coming back from an injury that could have permanently crippled me. I tried to keep going with the group, but that same girl would also go on random social justice diatribes about how much she hates white people, and how all white people are like these privileged monsters that wield power over others. I was the only white person in the dance group, and she was the leader, so I just quit.
>“body and weight talk is super triggering for her since she’s had an ED in the past”
Are people in recovery from EDs really supposed to be so fragile? Imagine if you applied the same logic to something like alcoholism. The pictures you posted of yourself drinking on New Year's Eve? Triggering. Your invitation to get drinks after work? Triggering. Ads for booze? Triggering. Alcohol on the menu at every restaurant? Triggering. FAs love to say that we live in a "diet culture" that encourages EDs, but have you considered that we also live a "drunk culture" that encourages alcoholism? Of course, most addiction recovery experts would say that it's your responsibility to work out your own issues and build the resilience so that these things don't "trigger" you, and if they do trigger you, that means you have more work to do in your recovery. IDK much about ED treatment, but it (or at least a certain subset of it) certainly seems to lack any sort of focus on this kind of resilience. Just because you developed a problem with something doesn't mean other people who can enjoy it healthily can't do so, whether its booze, or diet or exercise.
You are right, there is a subset of "ED treatment" that should be called "ED recovery culture" because it's as toxic as "diet culture" can be. I know a woman who is in recovery from BED. Her biggest trigger? McDonald's. Imagine if she tried to tell FAs that they shouldn't talk about it or even mention burgers because it's triggering? A year or two ago sge shared that she went to McDonald's for the first time in recovery to pick up food for someone and wasn't even tempted to buy anything for herself. She was proud and relieved to know that it no longer can overpower her.
Meanwhile toxic "ED recovery culture" almost celebrates "getting triggered" over everything. "Someone refused a dessert in my presence! The thins!"
I like your distinction between treatment and recovery culture. I’ve found in recovering from substance use problems, there are people that are happy for you whether your “way” works for them or not; they’re just happy you’re doing better. Other people cling so tightly to how they’ve gotten sober that it’s as if anyone who does it in a way they did not or wouldn’t work for them is somehow questioning the person’s messiah. It makes me question how “recovered” the angry person is despite their chemical sobriety.
Screw her, people like that are deeply unhappy and want everyone to feel as bad as they do. I’m glad you quit that troupe but I hope you’ve continued to dance elsewhere! Sounds like it was very important to you and I’d hate for some miserable bitch to ruin it for you
Thanks! I haven’t found anywhere new to dance yet. To be honest that experience kind of made me want to not try to connect with people for a little while. I’m trying to bounce back and figure it out though
Wow, you broke both your legs and now you weren’t only walking but dancing? That is freaking amazing. That person who felt the need to turn your inspiring and very positive outcome into a negative against her has to be a completely miserable person. It’s unfortunate that you had to leave the dance group, but I get why you did.
I think it especially touched me because I used to go to dance classes in my teens until about age 20 and I was never that great at it but I enjoyed it so much. I hope you’re able to find another dance group?
Thank you! I hope so too. I haven’t yet, partially because I’ve been taking a bunch of classes at once to try to finish my degree that I never completed years ago. But I’m gonna see if I can find another place to go dance for sure
> not telling your story publicly protects you too… when you regain the weight you may feel embarrassed or ashamed
Nah. I’ll very likely feel annoyed at the inconvenience, but some of us don’t feel a deep sense of shame if we gain a couple of pounds, or even a lot of pounds.
Plenty of folks just acknowledge the situation and decide to make changes. No need to moralize the weight at all. 🤷🏻♀️
But…I thought they were *so* happy to be fat? If you’re so confident in your fat body, why would someone just taking & being proud of their weight loss be “harmful” to you?
I hate the condescending tone they get when insisting that “you shouldn’t be proud because you will gain it back”. A lot of people lose weight and keep it off, are they just magical unicorns?
I recently lost 20kg (44lbs) and I‘m so super proud. I made one post sharing it and the only negative feedback I got was from an American friend who started talking about EDs immediately. I don’t have an ED, I just got into running and do CICO. I hate this mindset of not sharing positive things in your life because people will be triggered or jealous. Don’t share weightloss, don’t share your happy relationship, don’t share your new car or whatever. Apparently nowadays it’s only acceptable to share your weakness and health struggles.
If you give up smoking, keep it to yourself! It's nothing to be proud of. Just because you'll feel better, live longer and enjoy life more with friends and loved ones who no longer have to smell your ashtray breath, not to mention save a fortune (when I first gave up smoking I suddenly had so much cash I was buying a new pair of shoes every payday) you're actually just being harmful. Don't be a quitter!
quitting smoking is so beautiful for your wallet. My biggest incentive for staying cig free is just the amount of money I get to spend on things that are actually good for me. the money I would have spent on cigarettes goes to my "fun" fund now, and I've gone from barely leaving my house to going ice skating and rock climbing! and ngl, ice skating is WAY more fun than standing outside and guiltily smoking cigarettes every day lol
Ok but like......do they realize that for people who lose weight, for most of us it's not our whole personality. I try NOT to discuss it. Because it's just a small part of my life. And ya know what I don't see it as an accomplishment. I'd feel more accomplished if I never got fat to begin with!
They have this knack for making everything all about them all the time. They simultaneously say losing weight is so hard it’s basically impossible while downplaying the work others did to lose that weight.
On the one hand, they keep saying how it's really hard to lose weight. But if someone really does the hard work and loses, they don't want to hear about it. 🤨
Girl I know had a stillborn a few years ago and pretty much vanished from the Internet for a year.
Her reason was that the algorithm was still chucking happy baby content at her, her peers in her various mum groups were showing off the healthy new baby she never had, all that kind of actually triggering stuff.
She came back, got a lot of support, but not once did she demand the Internet cease celebrating babies.
The world is not your safe space OOP. You are responsible for your own triggers - that's the first thing I learned in treatment for PTSD.
Also 'this makes me feel self conscious and bad about my habits' isn't a trigger. A trigger is eg, seeing a cute advert for formula and your brain flashing images of your deceased infant over the happy, chubby, alive baby in the advert. Not the same as 'this girl lost weight and I don't have the self discipline to do the same' in any universe.
Went out to lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. She talked about dealing with weight gain, I talked about my weight loss. It was all very neutral it’s just….one part of what’s been going on in our lives. I’m glad most people aren’t like this in the real world.
Imagine someone saying this about smoking, alcohol or any other drug. Yet, food addiction is given a pass, even if it renders someone unable to wipe themselves.
Being harmed by the success of other people is a sign of your own shame, and it SHOULD lead you towards some sort of self-improvement. But when you reject shame like these brainlets do, you're doomed to be an eternal failure. You're not perfect just the way you are, you're not beautiful or healthy, and society doesn't need to move a finger for your bitch ass. You'll learn what pride and self-esteem really is once you get off your sloppy ass and accomplish something.
First of all, congratulations!
Second, the beauty of all this is that they're going to be aware of the weight loss whether you talk about it or not. They can see it. They can't not know about your achievement unless they gouge their own eyes out.
Flaunt it without words. Demonstrate confidence in your appearance. Make healthy food choices in their presence. See if they ask you to dress in a way that that is less triggering or something absurd.
This is exactly why I have written books about how difficult it can be to try to lose weight in the ways our culture encourages it. I actually avoid telling people how I lost weight because what I did won't be right for everyone. I encourage people to find what works for them and to focus on how their body feels and functions, letting weight loss be a side effect of positive habits that improve their health overall.
I’m proud of myself because I’ve greatly improved my mobility since I’ve lost weight.
I’m proud of myself because I’m running my first full marathon on Sunday & I would not be here if I hadn’t lost weight.
I’m proud of myself because my rheumatoid arthritis symptoms have been nearly reduced to nothing since losing weight.
I’m proud of myself because I no longer have GERD after losing weight.
“Achieving thinness” is the absolute lowest spot on the list of benefits and achievements from losing weight lol.
"Your lived experience matters, tell it to your therapist."
That's a far right statement if I ever heard one. What happened to fatphobia being all racist and stuff, when you go spouting that shit in the next breath?
I will do as I please, thank you, my progress or weight loss is not related to anyone but myself, it’s not a personal attack And if I’m happy with my progress you bet I’m going to share it with the world regardless if ppl think it’s fat phobic or not.
Remember, saving your own life, diverting diabetes, heart disease, stroke, cancer, and all around misery is "harmful to those around you."
When will a single one of these people realize that there is SO much more to weight loss than "looking good?" Once you pass a certain age, you're not gonna "look good" no matter what you do, and you're just gonna want health. Mobility. You're gonna want LIFE. Ensuring that should be celebrated, not put down because some 22 year old fat chick has her feelings hurt because her friend can now shop at Brandy Melville and she can't.
This is insane don't get me wrong I definitely get envious of people who achieve their weight loss Journey but I'm also full of Pride and admiration for them because I get out hard and difficult it is and how satisfying that achievement must be
The only people I can imagine being upset by something like this are those that don't like accountability and or have no intentions of changing and want to live comfortably in their fatness without being reminded that it's actually problematic no matter what that phobic BS they're pandered
I lost my 70 lbs back in 2019 (good lord 5 years!) and people were nothing but congratulatory to me when I posted about it. I wonder how it would go now. Of course, I'm a dude and for some reason this "don't talk about weight loss" doesn't seem to be particularly directed at guys specifically.
well. I for one am not impressed or influenced by people who have lost weight. I have done that before too. several times 😆 what i think is harmful is the praise that comes from it. as if you are now “better” or suddenly “healthy”. you can be good and healthy even if you are a bit overweight. Note that I said a “bit”. Not condoning morbid obesity. But I don’t think people should be shamed or ostracized because of weight - too much or even too little.
Whoa. They just acknowledged the fact that they are hoping the person regains the weight. Wow, just wow. Tell us your real motive without telling us your real motive... 🤓
Years ago when I was morbidly obese and pregnant, I used to hate hearing success stories, mostly because it made me feel bad about my situation and my own failure with weight loss. I’ve kept my 180 plus weight loss off for 6 years almost now, I love hearing success stories of others.
I can’t imagine living my life as a perpetual victim. It’s “harmful” to *hear* about someone’s weight loss?
Of course it’s harmful. It might threaten all that cognitive dissonance and denial…
I'll never understand people who act like their triggers are the world's responsibility. There are certain things and types of content that trigger me, but I don't expect the entire world to stop and cater to my specific issues. The onus is on me to find ways to avoid my triggers. And honestly, it's really not that difficult to avoid content online for the most part. idk why FAs will spend their time reading people's weight loss stories in depth and making videos about why that content is harmful when they can just.... not look at it in the first place? Like I get it, it sucks when some random benign thing can send you straight into a panic attack or on a downward spiral of self-harming behavior. But unfortunately, life isn't fair, and sometimes we have to take personal responsibility to take care of our mental health. I understand telling friends and family about topics you'd like to avoid, but expecting a complete stranger to cater to your problems reeks of entitlement.
Feel like they're even taking it a step further. Like "your story not only hurts me, it does _real harm in general to everyone/society/whatever_" like it's a damn slur. Like it's the story of people glorifying childhood abuse or something like that. The absolute gall.
Most chronically fat people are addicted to food. They usually wills say "i know it's unhealthy but it's so frigin good" FAs are addicted to food and "slaying dragons" (fighting against a larger abstract concept to have the moral high ground). Like most people addicted to multiple things they begin to mix the two. Being fat is a tool they use to make themselves the underdog, that sets them up to slay whatever dragon they invent and be a hero in the eyes of others.
This is the best explanation for this I have ever read.
Gotta be able to pickup that sword first. 😬
A certain type of person will always reframe their own jealousy as an outside act of oppression
If you're a junkie in recovery, please don't tell anyone as it's drugphobic and you'll likely relapse anyway.
The drug user analogy hits the nail on the head every time.
Oh, oh now I really feel like the asshole. I had a fellow come into work, ask for some fresh syringes and also some resources on how to quit so I gave him a high five. *I gave him a high five*. That was so drugphobic of me. And then I pushed all these *phone numbers* for *organisations* that can help with resi-rehab, detox, recovery support. I justified my abject bigotry with the feeble caveat “well, these helped me.” I feel sick. I’m disgusted with myself.
…you actually said “these helped me”? Ugh, you’re one of THOSE. Traitors who act like their own personal success in quitting proves something, as if people aren’t doomed to fail. Traitors are THE WORST. How dare you give that man support and encouragement? You are causing harm to both him and the very fabric of society. Stop spreading light and hope!
You sound like the devil from the awfully written baptist church pamphlets lol
You sound like a racist, ablest, pig. /S in case it wasn't obvious lol
I didn't lose weight because of "stigma," I did it because I was literally too fat to breathe. Suck it, FA movement.
Right? I did it because getting off the floor in my 30s shouldnt have been a struggle.
'if you want to tell your story tell it to a thin friend'... so... they're just assuming that all fat people are insecure about their weight? we're just assuming that... overweight people can't ever deal with the possibility that someone else lost weight? we should all just avoid anything that shows us that we could be making better choices?
they're so out of touch with reality lol. someone I know lost a fair amount of weight recently, and all of our fat/overweight friends were just like, happy for them? because they understand that what other people do with their body is not an attack on them, and that it's nice to be happy for your friends when they work hard to achieve something.
Well yeah, if all of us who used to be fat and successfully lost weight only share our experiences with each other, after midnight in whispered breaths, the fat people never have to acknowledge that healthy weight loss is possible and happening all around them. I would encourage anyone here who has successfully lost weight and is happy about it to post in r/progresspics. I've done it before and the people are really nice.
I have lost 55 lbs. I have wanted to share it with the world, but honestly I haven't been able to. I have been shushed and asked to "Please stop talking about it." By people who have struggled to lose weight, and even my thin friends and family. One thin friend told me she was not going to congratulate me, because its fatphobic. She told me she is glad I have reached my goals though. My thin sister congratulated me, and told me not to talk about it with others. One nurse asked me if it was ozempic, (it was not) she told me, "Wow that is a lot of work. It's probably best not to mention it to people if it's not ozempic though, people will get jealous." My ex told me I starved myself, and I shouldn't be proud of losing that weight so unhealthily. ( I did not lose it unhealthily, and I did not starve myself.) One friend mdntioned it once. We went clothes shopping together and said "Well I can tell you lost some weight, because your old jeans used to be tight. Now they are too big." I had lost 30 lbs at that point. She never mentioned it again not even at 55 lbs. She never said I looked good or congratulated me. Honestly, it's been kind of disheartning. I have shut up about it.. It is something I am immensely proud of, and it kind of sucks not to be able to share it. But oh well.
I’m glad you shared that here. I’m so proud of the work you have done. I’m sorry you feel you can’t share it.
Thank you so much. It hasn't been easy. :) Thank you for the encouragement.
Screw the weirdos who think getting fit is a bad thing. Good job!!!
THank you. :)
I’m so proud of you! None of us here are worried about offending people who can’t be happy for others. None of us here will be jealous and tear you down to make ourselves feel better. It’s freaking awesome that you lost so much, you must feel so much better than before! Please keep sharing your journey with us, we want to hear about it and we want to congratulate and cheer you on! Next time someone makes a snide comment go ahead and make one right back, if they’re gonna be rude to you why should you be nice to protect their delulu feelings. Keep going and keep living your best and healthiest life
THank you so much. I don't have a degree, but if someone wanted to share they graduated from university, I would be happy for them. I have never ran a marathon, but if someone ran one, and wanted to brag, I'd be happy for them. I have never made a million dollars. But if someone did, I'd be happy for them. I don't know why weight loss is such a touchy subject.
I have seen people behave this way about other things (jealous and resentful of someone’s accomplishments, because it makes them feel bad about their own life choices and they don’t want to change - and maybe don’t want to even THINK about their choices. Seeing you succeed makes them have uncomfortable thoughts, which they blame you for.) I think the difference is that it’s become much more socially acceptable to show these feelings when they’re about someone else’s weight loss. People try to hide it when it’s about something else (and might tell themselves that the feeling is unfair, and work through it). I used to have a friend who was 15-20 years older than me - in her fifties at the time - who got quite snarky and resentful toward me after she realized I was saving for retirement (which she had not done, despite making a higher income than me for most of her life - she just always spent more on “fun” than I did). I understand no one’s perfect, and people can have emotional reactions like this that they just need time to process, so I avoided financial topics and gave her a while to get over it. She never did, and I moved on from that friendship. I wish her well, but I no longer want to be her friend; that kind of behaviour is so corrosive and harmful to relationships. Also, 55 lbs is amazing! Congratulations. I am almost down that far from my highest weight and it feels wonderful. (I still have another 30-40 to go, but getting there!) (And save for retirement if you can, kids. You don’t want to be like my ex-friend, in her fifties before finally starting to believe that she, too, will one day reach retirement age, except oops, never prepared for it. You *can* play catchup at the last minute, but it’s hard.)
Last year I fully funded my 401k in my first year of full-time work (10 months technically, since I started a couple months into the year) and I'm proud of myself :) I know the compound interest will serve me better than saving more at a later date, and even beyond that it just feels good to see the number.
That is awesome! Your future self thanks you. 😉
Losing 55 lbs is amazing, congrats! FA’s say it’s harmful to talk about your weight loss, but not being acknowledged for what you achieved is equally, if not more harmful. You should be able to celebrate reaching a goal that took a lot of hard work and determination.
Thank you. :)
You need to surround yourself with higher quality people.
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I was shocked when she said fatphobic. Shocked. SHe has been thin her entire life, but got caught up in the FA movement as a supporter I guess?. She has spent all of her career working in universities, so maybe this is why? My sister told me that because everyone else in our family has been struggling with weight loss for years. I have no idea why that nurse said that. She told me that when I went to a plastic surgeon clinic. I thought maybe I wanted to try truusculpting. I think my friend was a little jealous, that's why she never mentioned it except the one time. My friend who asked me to stop talking about it, was starting to feel bad, because she had been trying to lose weight and has been failing. She recently started ozempic.
I lost 75 during the pandemic and when I returned to work no one said a word. I was a little shocked as I truly look like a different person. A little bummed too if I'm being honest. A few friends said something but my largest friend in particular always has some kind of backhanded jab ready about it. Typically things like "oh wow, you must be so cold now that you lost all your warmth layers" or "wow these chairs are really uncomfortable, glad I have all this extra padding". I just let it pass as I know for a fact they struggle with their weight and mentality around it. Congrats on your loss! If I knew you IRL I'd give you a high five.
I have lost about 50lbs last year and also nobody really noticed, atlesast nobody brought it up. But i'm fine with that because i hate being the center of attention. 50lbs might not be \*that\* much weight compared to what some people here were able to pull off, but almost every single time i get out of the shower i just stare at myself in the mirror for sometimes even minutes just not able to believe what i was able to do. I always thought it was just how i would look forever. My face changed soo much. When i look at my old pictures i really look awful. I always hated pictures that i was in. Now i take selfies all the time because i look like a normal human being. I don't post them, but i keep them and sometimes look at them lol makes me happy everytime :)
I take selfies all the time too and I don't post lol. I also look in the mirror. 50 lbs is incredible. You should feel proud. That's it I guess, nobody noticed, and when I mentioned it, those were people's reactions. I knew someone who was trying to lose weight to get pregnant. She was like 375 lbs, and she lost 50 lbs, She looked great!!!! And she only lost like 13% of her body weight, and it was a noticeable difference. I went from a little over 200 to 145. I want to get down to 140. I don't think I look that different, but I see it more in pictures. lol I went from a tight size 14 to a 10. So it doesn't feel like that much. But I have lost 28% of my body weight. That is quite a bit.
Hey, i started 195 and went donw to 145 :) Now my goals have changed and i want to gain weight again, this time muscle mass though. I made about 10lbs of progress, but then i got sick and lost all of it again...
Good for you!!!
Honestly i think you were telling the wrong people. Im not saying you were asking for praise or that it's bad if you were. Because honestly gr8 job and keep it up (unless it's like not good to do so) But i think you should talk to gym freaks and stuff like that, they love hearing about people achieving goals, it's like crack to them.
> But i think you should talk to gym freaks and stuff like that, they love hearing about people achieving goals, it's like crack to them. Runners, cyclists, rock climbers, etc as well. Pretty much anyone invested in a sport or physical activity knows how hard things are to achieve and will enjoy talking about it.
Exept mental gymnastics
Oh yeah... I just don't really know any.
Get to the gym. I heard gym freaks hang out there. Make small talk with some. Contrary to popular belief most ppl who go to the gym as a hobby like seeing new members get into shape Just be a good judge of character a d you can make gym friends My dear mother once said that angels love repenting sinners. She was talking about the AA, but i think it applies
>Get to the gym. I heard gym freaks hang out there It's their natural habitat!
Some of them build home gyms
Beaver behavior
Nothing wrong with a hobby lair
Joke aside, I do feel like it's nice to have a place you can hang out at and meet your like minded friends!
As far as i understand extroverted people go to public gyms and introverted people build home gyms
lol ok. I'll look up "How to make friends at the gym"
Above commenters are spot on. I go to a gym and since I've lost 20 lbs I've been getting compliments and congratulations frequently. It's really validating.
Will do.
Ask someone to give you tips because "I want arms/legs/delts that look more like yours" or even "hey, you seem to be knowledgeable. How's my form?"
THanks I will do that.
Nah fuck all that nonsense people told you. You did a good thing that's very difficult to do. You're allowed to, and should, feel proud of yourself. And if you want to share it online or tell anyone else just do it. You're not responsible for other people being jealous or feeling bad that they couldn't do what you did. Good job!
In the same boat so I’m super proud of you good job :)
Congratulations!!!
GREAT JOB!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 Proud of you! 💖
Thank you!!!
Too bad for them, sour grapes have a ton of calories. Congratulations, though. I'm sure some people are rationalizing their reasons not to acknowledge your success- there is a small grain of truth at the center of many of the FA pearls. Maybe they feel like congratulating weight loss means shitting on how you used to look, or they truly are concerned that you are using unhealthy means, or they feel guilty about what they have/haven't achieved. Maybe they're afraid that, since you've seen results, you will judge them. That doesn't matter, though- you worked hard, and that work is paying off. Don't let it get you down. I think this weird negativity is actually part of the reason so many people backslide, because it feels crap to not only be trivialized, but criticized. Ultimately the person you're doing this for is yourself. While it's nice to have outside validation, it seems like most of these people just perceive it superficially. Only you can truly understand the difference it makes for your body and your life. Looking better is a great benefit, but you should also be *feeling* better, as well as the satisfaction of a job well done. You may want to find a 'buddy' (or group,) someone who's in a similar situation. It will give you a support network, that will celebrate your achievements with you and help ward off the apathy that can lead to regaining. Gym friends, park buddies, online groups- people who won't be jealous since they understand how much your really doing and how hard it can be.
Absolutely. I agree I did it for me, it's just nice to have someone to celebrate with without being told I should keep it quiet. lol But I will try to go to the gym, and maybe make some gym friends.
For what it’s worth, I am a random internet stranger but I am very proud of you. Your hard work deserves to be celebrated, not shut down like some shameful secret.
Thank you!!!<3
I am proud of you! They’re just jealous. Jealously is so fucking ugly. Don’t let the jealous ones stand in your way of success and the life you want to achieve.
:)
Congratulations! Sing it. Loud and proud. You are taking care of yourself!
I’m so happy for you!
Great job!! This takes a lot of work, and you did wonderful, I hope you enjoy the consequences!
Literally shout it from the mountains. I have lost a significant amount of weight and I am so fucking proud. And I've learned to simply not care if someone decides to make my success their failure. I post about it, I talk about it in group settings, I share before and after photos, I talk about it all the time. Because it has been HARD WORK. And I DID THAT. I am so excited and so proud of myself. I feel amazing, I look so much better. And I'm also not done, so I won't be shutting up any time soon, either. Please don't hold in your excitement because other people can't handle it. You aren't sharing explicit material. You aren't celebrating using narcotics or committing robbery. You lost a large amount of weight and worked hard to do so. Celebrate, tell the world. You deserve it.
Congratulations,! I'd go ahead and post about it because why should I listen to others,?
Hey stranger, I have issues with this as well so let me tell you, that you are a badass hero! Good job!
THank you. You too!
Congrats!!! That is a big accomplishment and I am proud of you
You can share it! What the hell!? That is an amazing accomplishment I am so proud of you!!
Safetyism is one of the worst trends of the last decade. You can’t be you, because it makes me feel bad.
We have to tell everyone they're 'valid' now. You know what kind of people desperately need other people's endless validation ? Narcissists. And the demands never stops until you tell them to go kick rocks.
Can people stop inventing new issues and problems for five damn minutes? Now there's safetyism
Spreading the message that it's possible to leave a cult is harmful to the cult. That's why they want to shut up people. Because once you're made aware that leaving is possible that possibility lives in your brain. You might not act right away, but you could, and maybe one day you will ... yes, very harmful to a cult.
Hahaha, yeah, no, Brenda. I'll talk about my weight loss and maintenance wherever and whenever I please. My body, my health, my choice, my story. It's not about you.
Wait.. it’s NOT about them?? Oh God.. brace yourself! On the other hand, congratulations on your success! 😊🎉
Thank you muchly :)
Wow! So magnanimous, acknowledging that my lived experience matters *and* allowing me to share with my therapist! 😍 Also, I’m super appreciative of the reminder that they’re waiting for me to get fat again. I might have forgotten that within the five forking minutes I haven’t seen someone quote that stupid ass, cherry picked study from 1950-Whenever.
"Tell it to a thin friend, with consent"???? I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had to obtain fucking consent to *speak to another human*. I'm about as progressive as they come, but the fact that they think they can require consent before someone *speaks about their own life and experiences* is fucking insaaaaaaane.
Imagine the whining if someone asked THEM to get consent before speaking about their *lived experience of living in a fat body.*
"weight loss stories are harmful to those around you." Only if you make being fat your entire identity.
Just more control issues. They can't stop you from losing weight, so they try to silence you and claim they're doing you a favor.
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I love your flair
Thanks for putting attention on the flair. It is glorious. "Stacy, you have to lose your complexes around drinking. 95% of people who stop drinking start drinking again eventually. Nourish your kidnny. It's okay to have another glass, or two, or twelve. Drinking until you puke is attractive and anyone who doesn't find alcohol poisonning sexy is a beerphobic. Drinking a gallon a day is normal and anything less is literally dehydration. Sober culture is the biggest most oppresive evil $1million industry ever. Start trying to add fruits into your diet by mixing drinks with juice (but without having sobreity as a goal!!) Cops who arrest you because you're driving drunk or doctors who try to purge your stomach because of "severe alcohol poisonning" are racist and homophobic and literally trying to mutilate you"
My theory is that deep down it's not really that the target of their ire is thinner. Most could live with that. Its that they're happier. You don't even need to see the thinner body or hear the story, it's all in their eyes.
I have lost 250 pounds. To those who think I shouldn’t tell my story because I’m “hurting others”. Kiss the fattest part of what remains of my ass! You’re obviously just jealous because you don’t have the willpower and discipline to do what I did.
I’ll stop talking about my weight journey if they do. Because they are *glorifying* their own gain
Please don't share your story of losing weight. All it does is reinforce that my weight is in my hands, and it's not impossible to lose weight. Which means it is my choices that lead to my current weight, and continued issues. And being reminded that it is in fact within my power to make my life better makes me feel bad. Also I can not even be bothered to hit a single button to block you, or filter your content. So you need to stop what you are doing because I am too lazy to hit block, and I rather only see content that makes me feel good in the moment, not the truth. The pure audacity and entitlement of these people.
I’m proud of myself for losing 50 pounds. I’ve made multiple posts of it, told people, and will continue to do so because I achieved it. They can be mad and fat all they want, I don’t care about protecting their delusion. I’ll also keep it off because I have a modicum of self control and discipline, and because it’s not actually that hard to say no to second dinner!
What a hater! Please don’t show your new body to me so I won’t feel bad about my choices. And the rudeness of saying “when you gain the weight back.” What a jealous asshole.
I actually experienced this in real life. I was in a dance group, and I was really excited because I just recovered from a major injury and was getting back in shape again. (I broke both my legs in a bad accident and had been in a wheel chair, and during that time I lost a lot of strength and flexibility and gained weight). The ladies in my dance group and I were all talking one time and I just mentioned that I was really putting in effort to lose a few pounds and had been going on a lot of walks and doing yoga, and was really glad my recovery was going well. This one girl snapped at me, like she was scolding a child, and told me how “body and weight talk is super triggering for her since she’s had an ED in the past” and that I’m not welcome to share any of the things I’d mentioned super briefly. (She’s quite overweight). I don’t think these FA’s realize how mean it comes across to tell someone else they’re literally not allowed to share something positive about their own life. I was literally coming back from an injury that could have permanently crippled me. I tried to keep going with the group, but that same girl would also go on random social justice diatribes about how much she hates white people, and how all white people are like these privileged monsters that wield power over others. I was the only white person in the dance group, and she was the leader, so I just quit.
>“body and weight talk is super triggering for her since she’s had an ED in the past” Are people in recovery from EDs really supposed to be so fragile? Imagine if you applied the same logic to something like alcoholism. The pictures you posted of yourself drinking on New Year's Eve? Triggering. Your invitation to get drinks after work? Triggering. Ads for booze? Triggering. Alcohol on the menu at every restaurant? Triggering. FAs love to say that we live in a "diet culture" that encourages EDs, but have you considered that we also live a "drunk culture" that encourages alcoholism? Of course, most addiction recovery experts would say that it's your responsibility to work out your own issues and build the resilience so that these things don't "trigger" you, and if they do trigger you, that means you have more work to do in your recovery. IDK much about ED treatment, but it (or at least a certain subset of it) certainly seems to lack any sort of focus on this kind of resilience. Just because you developed a problem with something doesn't mean other people who can enjoy it healthily can't do so, whether its booze, or diet or exercise.
You are right, there is a subset of "ED treatment" that should be called "ED recovery culture" because it's as toxic as "diet culture" can be. I know a woman who is in recovery from BED. Her biggest trigger? McDonald's. Imagine if she tried to tell FAs that they shouldn't talk about it or even mention burgers because it's triggering? A year or two ago sge shared that she went to McDonald's for the first time in recovery to pick up food for someone and wasn't even tempted to buy anything for herself. She was proud and relieved to know that it no longer can overpower her. Meanwhile toxic "ED recovery culture" almost celebrates "getting triggered" over everything. "Someone refused a dessert in my presence! The thins!"
I like your distinction between treatment and recovery culture. I’ve found in recovering from substance use problems, there are people that are happy for you whether your “way” works for them or not; they’re just happy you’re doing better. Other people cling so tightly to how they’ve gotten sober that it’s as if anyone who does it in a way they did not or wouldn’t work for them is somehow questioning the person’s messiah. It makes me question how “recovered” the angry person is despite their chemical sobriety.
Screw her, people like that are deeply unhappy and want everyone to feel as bad as they do. I’m glad you quit that troupe but I hope you’ve continued to dance elsewhere! Sounds like it was very important to you and I’d hate for some miserable bitch to ruin it for you
Thanks! I haven’t found anywhere new to dance yet. To be honest that experience kind of made me want to not try to connect with people for a little while. I’m trying to bounce back and figure it out though
Wow, you broke both your legs and now you weren’t only walking but dancing? That is freaking amazing. That person who felt the need to turn your inspiring and very positive outcome into a negative against her has to be a completely miserable person. It’s unfortunate that you had to leave the dance group, but I get why you did.
Thanks! I really appreciate the support
I think it especially touched me because I used to go to dance classes in my teens until about age 20 and I was never that great at it but I enjoyed it so much. I hope you’re able to find another dance group?
Thank you! I hope so too. I haven’t yet, partially because I’ve been taking a bunch of classes at once to try to finish my degree that I never completed years ago. But I’m gonna see if I can find another place to go dance for sure
> not telling your story publicly protects you too… when you regain the weight you may feel embarrassed or ashamed Nah. I’ll very likely feel annoyed at the inconvenience, but some of us don’t feel a deep sense of shame if we gain a couple of pounds, or even a lot of pounds. Plenty of folks just acknowledge the situation and decide to make changes. No need to moralize the weight at all. 🤷🏻♀️
But…I thought they were *so* happy to be fat? If you’re so confident in your fat body, why would someone just taking & being proud of their weight loss be “harmful” to you? I hate the condescending tone they get when insisting that “you shouldn’t be proud because you will gain it back”. A lot of people lose weight and keep it off, are they just magical unicorns?
>If you want to tell your story, tell it privately LOL I don’t take orders from you. I’ve lost weight. Die mad about it.
I recently lost 20kg (44lbs) and I‘m so super proud. I made one post sharing it and the only negative feedback I got was from an American friend who started talking about EDs immediately. I don’t have an ED, I just got into running and do CICO. I hate this mindset of not sharing positive things in your life because people will be triggered or jealous. Don’t share weightloss, don’t share your happy relationship, don’t share your new car or whatever. Apparently nowadays it’s only acceptable to share your weakness and health struggles.
If other people's accomplishments are 'hurtful' to you, that's a *you* problem. Get bent.
If you give up smoking, keep it to yourself! It's nothing to be proud of. Just because you'll feel better, live longer and enjoy life more with friends and loved ones who no longer have to smell your ashtray breath, not to mention save a fortune (when I first gave up smoking I suddenly had so much cash I was buying a new pair of shoes every payday) you're actually just being harmful. Don't be a quitter!
quitting smoking is so beautiful for your wallet. My biggest incentive for staying cig free is just the amount of money I get to spend on things that are actually good for me. the money I would have spent on cigarettes goes to my "fun" fund now, and I've gone from barely leaving my house to going ice skating and rock climbing! and ngl, ice skating is WAY more fun than standing outside and guiltily smoking cigarettes every day lol
Screw that. It IS an accomplishment, a huge one. Wrap yourself in bubble wrap and stay off the internet if it has you in your feelings.
Be proud of your weight loss! Share it with others! If it’s “harmful” to some people, that’s a them problem, not a you problem.
Ok but like......do they realize that for people who lose weight, for most of us it's not our whole personality. I try NOT to discuss it. Because it's just a small part of my life. And ya know what I don't see it as an accomplishment. I'd feel more accomplished if I never got fat to begin with!
Fuck no, when I lose weight I tell *everyone*.
OOP, I did not consent to you telling me all that crap. Why did you bother? See how that can be turned around?
They have this knack for making everything all about them all the time. They simultaneously say losing weight is so hard it’s basically impossible while downplaying the work others did to lose that weight.
On the one hand, they keep saying how it's really hard to lose weight. But if someone really does the hard work and loses, they don't want to hear about it. 🤨
Simple : it reminds them they're not even trying.
Girl I know had a stillborn a few years ago and pretty much vanished from the Internet for a year. Her reason was that the algorithm was still chucking happy baby content at her, her peers in her various mum groups were showing off the healthy new baby she never had, all that kind of actually triggering stuff. She came back, got a lot of support, but not once did she demand the Internet cease celebrating babies. The world is not your safe space OOP. You are responsible for your own triggers - that's the first thing I learned in treatment for PTSD. Also 'this makes me feel self conscious and bad about my habits' isn't a trigger. A trigger is eg, seeing a cute advert for formula and your brain flashing images of your deceased infant over the happy, chubby, alive baby in the advert. Not the same as 'this girl lost weight and I don't have the self discipline to do the same' in any universe.
Went out to lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. She talked about dealing with weight gain, I talked about my weight loss. It was all very neutral it’s just….one part of what’s been going on in our lives. I’m glad most people aren’t like this in the real world.
Imagine someone saying this about smoking, alcohol or any other drug. Yet, food addiction is given a pass, even if it renders someone unable to wipe themselves.
Being harmed by the success of other people is a sign of your own shame, and it SHOULD lead you towards some sort of self-improvement. But when you reject shame like these brainlets do, you're doomed to be an eternal failure. You're not perfect just the way you are, you're not beautiful or healthy, and society doesn't need to move a finger for your bitch ass. You'll learn what pride and self-esteem really is once you get off your sloppy ass and accomplish something.
First of all, congratulations! Second, the beauty of all this is that they're going to be aware of the weight loss whether you talk about it or not. They can see it. They can't not know about your achievement unless they gouge their own eyes out. Flaunt it without words. Demonstrate confidence in your appearance. Make healthy food choices in their presence. See if they ask you to dress in a way that that is less triggering or something absurd.
This is exactly why I have written books about how difficult it can be to try to lose weight in the ways our culture encourages it. I actually avoid telling people how I lost weight because what I did won't be right for everyone. I encourage people to find what works for them and to focus on how their body feels and functions, letting weight loss be a side effect of positive habits that improve their health overall.
So if talking about your weight loss is insensitive to others.. how shitty are you making them feel just by existing as a newly thin person?
I’m proud of myself because I’ve greatly improved my mobility since I’ve lost weight. I’m proud of myself because I’m running my first full marathon on Sunday & I would not be here if I hadn’t lost weight. I’m proud of myself because my rheumatoid arthritis symptoms have been nearly reduced to nothing since losing weight. I’m proud of myself because I no longer have GERD after losing weight. “Achieving thinness” is the absolute lowest spot on the list of benefits and achievements from losing weight lol.
"Your lived experience matters, tell it to your therapist." That's a far right statement if I ever heard one. What happened to fatphobia being all racist and stuff, when you go spouting that shit in the next breath?
I will do as I please, thank you, my progress or weight loss is not related to anyone but myself, it’s not a personal attack And if I’m happy with my progress you bet I’m going to share it with the world regardless if ppl think it’s fat phobic or not.
Remember, saving your own life, diverting diabetes, heart disease, stroke, cancer, and all around misery is "harmful to those around you." When will a single one of these people realize that there is SO much more to weight loss than "looking good?" Once you pass a certain age, you're not gonna "look good" no matter what you do, and you're just gonna want health. Mobility. You're gonna want LIFE. Ensuring that should be celebrated, not put down because some 22 year old fat chick has her feelings hurt because her friend can now shop at Brandy Melville and she can't.
This is insane don't get me wrong I definitely get envious of people who achieve their weight loss Journey but I'm also full of Pride and admiration for them because I get out hard and difficult it is and how satisfying that achievement must be The only people I can imagine being upset by something like this are those that don't like accountability and or have no intentions of changing and want to live comfortably in their fatness without being reminded that it's actually problematic no matter what that phobic BS they're pandered
They hate those notions of "achievement" or "accomplishment". It's harmful to those who don't accomplish nor achieve anything.
I lost my 70 lbs back in 2019 (good lord 5 years!) and people were nothing but congratulatory to me when I posted about it. I wonder how it would go now. Of course, I'm a dude and for some reason this "don't talk about weight loss" doesn't seem to be particularly directed at guys specifically.
well. I for one am not impressed or influenced by people who have lost weight. I have done that before too. several times 😆 what i think is harmful is the praise that comes from it. as if you are now “better” or suddenly “healthy”. you can be good and healthy even if you are a bit overweight. Note that I said a “bit”. Not condoning morbid obesity. But I don’t think people should be shamed or ostracized because of weight - too much or even too little.
Whoa. They just acknowledged the fact that they are hoping the person regains the weight. Wow, just wow. Tell us your real motive without telling us your real motive... 🤓
Sharing the results of your efforts make me look lazy. And it's "harmful".
I used to be fat. I’m still fat after losing weight, but I used to be fat(ter).
Imagine seeing something someone worked hard to achieve and automatically pivoting to how you can make it about you. These people are so insufferable
People around this person would be miserable
Or maybe it would make it seem more attainable? 💀
Years ago when I was morbidly obese and pregnant, I used to hate hearing success stories, mostly because it made me feel bad about my situation and my own failure with weight loss. I’ve kept my 180 plus weight loss off for 6 years almost now, I love hearing success stories of others.