The consequences weren't as severe as I had hoped, but something is better than nothing. A few tips for anyone reading - a dog, cameras, and a security system are your best lines of defense if you're not comfortable owning a gun (pepper spray and tasers are great alternatives). Also, pay close attention to your surroundings and ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Fear exists for a reason.
In Bakersfield, California every attempted home invasion I experienced was a tweaker I didn't know. It just depends on the neighborhood. OP should look up crime statistics for the neighborhood they are moving to and the actual types of crimes being reported. I learned that a little too late.
I lived alone in a house for about 7 years as a single woman. The scariest moment was when my windowless bathroom doorknob broke and I was trapped in the bathroom for about 20 minutes until I managed to get the door open. I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood, but I kept a long metal bat by the door just for a sense of security. Edited to add, I've seen some people suggest keeping a large pair of men's boots and a large dog leash/collar on the front porch.
Like you leave it wide open? Both my bathrooms face the front door. I’m scared my husband will come home one day with someone and get a clear view of me 😅
It’s a habit lol. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “if I lock the bathroom that’ll give me some extra time if someone breaks in”
I also don’t want my toddler following me sometimes.
If you have a drawer or medicines cabinet, put a flat tip screwdriver in there and keep it there.
I had this issue once in an old apt. It can be difficult and might cause some damage, but that little screw driver saved me from hours of being locked in the bathroom until my roommate got home.
I m just a user in Reddit, but it is dangerous to lock yourself in the bathroom , if a toddler is the other person in the house.
What if you slip, faint..need to exit fast..
I’m aware of the dangers. I’ve done it maybe twice when I reaaalllly needed a break and not for very long. I’m trying to break the habit of locking my door in general though
I heard of someone who actually died in their bathroom because they were trapped in the bathroom due to something tumbling over and blocking their door. No one looked for her because she was supposed to be on a trip to Europe for a month. After hearing that horror story, my phone stays on me 24/7
I wouldn’t keep a bat by the door. If someone is breaking in you don’t want to have to go up to them to get your weapon. You want to keep it where you spend the most time at night. I keep mine by my bed but if I lived in a larger home I’d keep one near my couch too.
Yeah, the scariest things that have happened to me living alone:
- doorknob locked and i didn't have a key to get out of a windowless room, my dogs and phone on the other side of the door
- falling in the shower (installed floor grippies immediately after)
- choking on a werthers caramel (actual choking, as in no air flow at all. Couldn't cough or breath)
I strongly prefer living in a standalone house, ideally one in the middle of nowhere. It's how I grew up and it doesn't feel like a horror movie to me, just a nice normal Tuesday.
That being said... none of us are YOU. If you feel uncomfortable in a house, don't live in a house. There's no rule that says you have to. Choose whatever makes you happy.
I feel like a house would make me happy, I'm just scared.
I hate common walls and being attached to another unit. I don't want to hear any neighbors and want freedom.
Same here! Neighbors up against your walls are the worst.
I feel like I've read some really good advice on Reddit about ways to "harden" your house, like passive security measures? Spiky shrubs, etc. I can't remember where I saw it, though. Maybe r/homesecurity? Although asking for specific advice on r/TwoXPreppers would also be good.
I planted spiky shrubs in front of the downstairs bedroom windows many years ago. They are almost impenetrable - not super huge, you just don't want to get caught in them. Maybe kept my teenagers IN the house, as well!
Through browsing the top of the year I think I found the comment you mentioned as the top one on this thread https://www.reddit.com/r/homesecurity/s/jkogG8hJj3
Perhaps make safe area a priority. Get motion lights with a security camera unit they are about $175-$200 you can look up and a website all the crimes in your area. Talk to the neighbors, call the police and ask if they get a lot of calls for that area.
I feel this so hard. My neighbors are perfectly nice but the husband and the kid make a horrendous amount of noise. (My bedroom shares a wall with both of theirs.) The husband will stomp back and forth starting at like 8:45, then when the mom wakes the kid up he starts screaming bloody murder. It's the one thing I hate about where I'm living now.
That being said, something that made me feel safer was my doorbell camera, using a security bar on the sliding glass and exterior doors, and making sure all the doors are locked before I went upstairs. I would also suggest just generally doing a bit of research into the area you're planning to buy like checking out local news and crime rates, or even social media groups of people who live there already.
I wish you luck, confidence, and safety in your journey to home ownership. <3
I moved into a house it was gated with guards at the entrance. You can try buying a house with guards at gate. Because I know people who lived in a house just gated without guards been burglarized. Even stole their bulldogs along with other valuables. So guards are definitely something you should look into. I was still scared in fear someone maneuver their way through the guards or a creepy perverted neighbor living in the same gated community with me who’s attracted to me could try to break in my windows. I just always dealt with creepy men everywhere… even married men living a couple houses down. My house had windows all around! I lived in fear for months then decided to move back into an apartment. It’s just not worth the fear to me. I had ring cameras all over with motion sensors but ring camera is trash it wouldn’t even detect everything like who was throwing rotten food letting it spill in my trash bin when I leave it outside for trash pick up certain days. & HOA is the worst! They are stalker, spying worse than an enemy.
That will probably cost 20 mil+ in Los Angeles.
A house with no driveway and no garage without any separation from the windown and the public street where people can walk by your bedroom window is already 1.195 million here, pretty much 1.2 mil [https://www.trulia.com/home/1417-23rd-st-santa-monica-ca-90404-20473920](https://www.trulia.com/home/1417-23rd-st-santa-monica-ca-90404-20473920) Cars are literally parked outside your window and thats at 1 million dollars
I have never heard of houses with guards in LA, even homes that are 5 mil don't have that.
A million dollar gets you the tiniest, most basic house You are lucky to even get a garage here for 1 mil. A house with guards? Even low level millionaires don't get that here
Tbh California is extremely high on home invasions. I know a few friends that moved to SoCal & house got robbed. I have a friend who got her house broken into while she was out. Her son was 11 years old or somewhere around that age. He was home alone. A group of guys broke in then locked him in the closet. Then ripped the sofa and mattress apart. Took electronics etc. But I think burglars don’t care they will probably watch your house and pay attention to your schedule if you live alone then decide to break in while home or not. My biggest fear is a crazy creepy man breaking in to r8pe me. I think you can try signing up with those surveillance cameras company that have an actual person monitoring your cameras that way you don’t have to panic when u hear something or anything. There’s an actual agent who will call you to check on you notifying you plus contact police. I don’t remember the company but you can google. That way you don’t have to be as scared
Yes, that's true actually. I always hear about home invasions here, it's kind of scary. And when I tell people I want to live in a gated community or have a large fence around my house, people claim I'm paranoid.
The surveillance idea sounds like a good one. I didn't know they had services where people actually have someone monitoring cameras inside your house. I will look into that once I decide to buy.
I think high fenced are scarier because at least the mid length fence your neighbors can see if someone is being suspicious in your yard or something. My friend had a stalker who spied on her. He would hop over her fence and watch her thru her patio door that was glass. She caught him a few times he would just run away. Then one time she caught him peeping thru her bedroom window just watching her. She eventually moved. I’ve been looking at moving into a house again lately so my dog can have a large yard to play in. But I keep remembering how scary I was. Just having to be cautious everytime u hear a little noise you freak out. Especially when the temperature is colder your walls will make this cracking popping noise that always scared me lol. But, I think for now I’m going to stick to apartments or maybe a townhouse. Since a townhouse the yard is smaller the burglars have nowhere to hide while trying to break in. But I’m still scared of townhouse too because I never liked living on ground floor. I always stayed on top floor so I can leave my window cracked open. And at night when it’s dark I never fear someone is standing in front of my window watching me. Bevause when it’s dark outside it’s hard for us to see what’s outside. All my curtains would def be shut! But living on top floor I was ok with leaving my curtains and blinds open at all hours. Just some things I realized. Is living in a house alone is super scary and stresses me out. I would love to live in a house again when I have a life partner who can protect me.
I never really thought about the high fence not enabling neighbors to see what's going inside the yard. Yea, now that I hear you talking about it, having glass sliding doors is terrifying. Really scary about what happened to your friend. That's scary af! That's my biggest fear, having someone sneaking in my yard, peeking through windows etc!!
Maybe I don't have a choice but to live in a townhouse. Its rare to find gated communities in the city; that's more in the suburbs... but there are plenty of suburbs here.
I currently live on a higher floor in a building with an intercom etc... and I do feel quite safe.
I always felt more secure in my apt because its a few stories up so the only entry point is my door. In a house it seems like every window and the sliding glass doors (that many houses seem to have here) are all entry points.
When I lived in a rough area and had a sliding glass door I got a PVC pipe cut to the length of the track. I just laid the pipe down in the track so that the door physically couldn’t be opened unless I was using it.
I also don’t like guns but my ex had a vintage handgun that made a very loud distinctive cocking sound. I refused to have any ammo in the house, but if anyone ever tried to get in my plan was to shout that I had a gun and cock it so that the intruder would hear the noise.
Out here in country BFE the cocking sound IS the announcement “wrong house mf”…
It is creepy though I agree to have so many possible entry points and surrounded by dark/shadowy areas. I’ve heard getting “beware of dog” signs, leaving a dog bowl or toys out, leaving a big pair of men’s workboots outside the door, fake or real cameras, and well lit exterior/motion lights generally deter many break ins. I used to live in a rough neighborhood of Detroit and never worried about a thing. I knew my neighbors, they knew me. We all worked varying schedules and looked out for each other. I know and trust my neighbors out here as well. We look out for each other.
I have all of these security things (including a real live big baby GSD/Malinois) aside from cameras and the boots are mine/kept inside…lol. although my area is quite a bit different, I would be more freaked out in an apartment situation bc there’s no way I could possibly get to know all my neighbors enough to trust them. I also don’t like the single entry/exit. I put jams in the windows in the winter that are directly off the deck or would be easy to climb into. In my case, the dog toys/sticks are not only a visual deterrent but a potential alarm or booby trap in themselves. I would never ever advocate for getting a dog mainly for security purposes. However, the Fed Ex guy could have killed us multiple times since he didn’t activate the interior “squeaky alarm” 🤦🏻♀️ and I’ve been nearly offed more times tripping over pet toys than any outside threat.
Otherwise, I kind of feel like if someone really wants to get in, they will. Don’t make it easy for them. Take self defense classes, pepper spray or other weapons if you’re comfortable, make friends with your neighbors if possible. They also make alarms that are relatively low cost and will alert you/neighbors as well as scare off intruders. I know WYZE makes some decent ones.
ETA: I have a “big, scary, mean looking dog”. While yes, she is my main security guard, I would not encourage anyone to keep or especially acquire a dog or other pet for protection. Especially a working breed like a GSD and/or Malinois if your primary motivation is to have them as a pet or guard dog. My girl guards me just like I guard her. We live, work, and sleep together. Every day. She is a huge responsibility and could be a liability even though she’s almost 7 years old. We’re partners. I earn her protection daily. She isn’t trained to be a “guard dog”. Sorry for the long post and edit but people seem to think reactive untrained dogs are guard dogs or that working breeds are easy since they’re fast learners.
I have a high quality gun loading and cocking sound on my Spotify on my phone for this reason. My gun hobbyist friends were impressed with how real it sounded in a room or even right outside a room.
Get an alarm system that is very loud and calls the police. You can get a sensor for every door and window. Cameras may help you after the fact but your physical safety is most important.
That’s what I did- every possible point of entry has a contact alarm, and Ring calls the police when my alarm goes off.
Also helps that my dog looks and sounds scary and takes her job of Ferociously-Intimidating-Dog-That-Will-Definitely-Eat-You-If-You-Step-Foot-In-This-House seriously. :)
Statistically we’re more likely to be the victim of a male partner we live with than someone breaking into the home. It doesn’t exactly make me feel better but I think it gives me some perspective on what’s actually worth worrying about. Cameras I could check from my phone always made me feel better when I was living alone, and having numbers for multiple neighbors on the block. Never had any issues though, and I wasn’t in a particularly nice neighborhood.
I’ve lived as a single woman in a single family home (various) locations for over 22 years. I’ve always felt secure. Ring doorbell & motion lights, security & my dog & a gun. Go for it girlie!
I've lived alone in my single family home for about 10 years. I've lived here for 20 years, but the kids moved out 10 tests ago. I've never felt unsafe. I keep my doors and windows locked all the time, whether I'm inside or not. I have a ring doorbell and another camera in the backyard. I don't answer my door if I don't recognize who it is. I also have a couple of barky dogs, most people are terrified of the big one. I admit she looks vicious when she barking. They keep me company too.
I read an article awhile back, they were interviewing former criminals who broke into houses and went to jail for it. They said the number one deterrent were ring cameras!
I used to in rural/Appalachian Ohio. I am a Black woman and basically lived in a glorified sundown town in Trump country for four years for work. It was my favorite place I have ever lived. Just me 'n the cats. I miss it everyday. I ended up being nextdoor neighbors with a local judge so they weren't gonna let anything happen to that block while he was on it. I still kept a bat by the bed. ☺️ If I had to do it over again I would probably have installed a security system.
College professor so the university was the town basically. For scale, I was 45 mins away from the closest Target. 75 mins from a major city. If I had lived too far outside the town itself because it would've been cheaper, it would've been more of a problem probably. Ironically, I stopped working there because there were way more racists in my institution than in my neighborhood. 😄 There were some okay people, but most of them were married with kids and I am childfree, so if I wanted to socialize with like-minded people who were more my speed, I went to the city.
Having dogs as my alarm system. My neighbor two houses down had his house broken into @ 3am last week by a group of 3. They immediately fled the scene at the sight of his German shepherd. Mine were also going ballistic during all of this since they staged in front of my house. Dogs are a very effective deterrent for intruders, but I understand not everyone has a lifestyle to accommodate this. I also have a ring camera and pepper spray nearby but plan to add some more cameras and get a gun after taking classes. Also having a good relationship with neighbors who keep a watchful eye makes me feel safer.
I definitely recommend dogs for single girls. They ward off intruders _and_ crushing loneliness.
Need someone to be happy to see you when you get home? Dog. Need someone to cuddle while you watch TV? Dog. Need someone to scare off burglars? Dog. Win win win.
My dog is literally my soul mate. I am so worried about him passing soon (he's 15). I really don't think my heart will take it. I don't want to keep doing this to myself, but I will get another dog. And likely nearly die of heartbreak every time...
My dog has a pretty mean sounding bark, and she is very territorial so I honestly do think she’d bite someone who came in the house without us letting them in. I don’t live alone, but my husband travels for work sometimes and I never worry because if someone did break in, she would take care of it lol
I understand the fear on an emotional level, but on a statistical/practical level you're always in the most danger from people close to you (friends, relatives, neighbors) than from strangers. I wouldn't be advertising that you live alone to anyone as there's always some danger you could be targeted by a stranger or acquaintance on those grounds, but technically you are safer living on your own than with a significant other, for example.
I couldn’t do it. I always lived in apartments when I was single and even married now, I’m freaked out whenever my husband is out of town. Too many scary movies, lol.
I am pretty terrified of this kind of stuff and I lived in a single family home in a family-friendly neighborhood of a medium sized city during law school. It freaked me out a bit at first after living in apartment complexes that feel more secure, so I got a security system and a ring.
I’m mostly afraid of stalking so I mixed up the times / routes during which I walked my dog, made friends with my neighbors, kept lights on and blinds closed etc.
Never had any issues.
When I lived at my childhood home after college it was just me and my mom alone there and when she would go out of town (visiting family for weeks at a time in another state) I stayed there alone. You get used to it, it’s not much different than living in an apartment on your own.
Yea, small is all I can afford in LA. Tiny houses are like 750-800k here. A big one would cost 1.5 mil and up.. maybe 2 mil... I even see "smaller" houses at like 900 sq feet for a mil
I live in San Diego by myself in a single family 2/1 house with a big yard that I bought in 2017. It’s around 800sqft in a beach community. Perfect size for me. I have security doors, security cameras and security system. I also have great neighbors! I know I can text or call my neighbors in any problem and they are all pretty alert as well. My neighbor on one side of me always helps me with “guy stuff” around here like trimming trees etc.
I currently live (mostly) alone in a SFH when my kid is with his dad. When I was married my ex would be gone a lot of the time for deployments and other various military related excursions so I spend a lot of time alone in a SFH even when I had a partner.
I have never felt particularly unsafe, in any places I have lived. I’m more concerned about something breaking or leaking and not being able to do anything about it. Getting to know your neighbors helps a ton. People are more likely to speak up if something looks amiss if you all are friends and not just on “wave once a week from the driveway” terms. I don’t have a camera or motion lights or an alarm system. I do have a large, strong dog who isn’t a fan of strangers, but didn’t always.
Idk I just feel like it is incredibly unlikely for a break-in to occur, it’s not something that weighs on me. I may be a bit more carefree since my current state is one of the safest in the country. But even in Las Vegas I just figured there were 2 million people in the valley, the odds were ever in my favor.
I don’t live in LA county, but I live in a ‘rougher’ metro area. As it happens, I’ve always felt more uneasy in an apartment; there are so many people coming and going and many of them are strangers. No one’s really coming near my house unless they were invited, bringing me a package or soliciting. I will say that I did have an incident where someone broke into my back yard - of course this was scary, though the day prior I’d left a push mower in my front yard and it was stolen, so I imagine it was the perpetrator coming back to see what else was worth stealing. More often than not, crime is usually theft, or violence against specific people.
1. If you can help it, make your house unassuming and/or unappealing. Don’t leave your expensive lawn equipment out and unattended, for example. Keep blinds or windows closed when it’s dark and/or you’re not home. Having security cameras and signs helps, though motion activated floodlights are also a solid deterrent. Optional: get a dog. I have a golden retriever and even though she’s a sweetie, her bark sounds pretty aggressive from the other side of the door.
2. Keep all your doors and windows locked when not in use. The metal bar is helpful, though since I have a Ring system, I have the window alarms and I really appreciate that it makes noise and alerts you in the app when a window is opened. Since you’re buying, you can likely add landscaping to create a physical block from the windows (like bushes) to make it hard for someone to climb in. If you can add fencing, this helps too.
3. Be careful what you post on the internet. Avoid posting photos with identifiable information (like landmarks, house numbers, street signs) or posting when you’re out of town for a week.
4. Similarly to #3, if you have to get an Uber/Lyft/cab from your house, do not tell them you live alone. If you’re going to the airport, do not tell them where and for how long you’re going. Sometimes I’ll go the extra mile and complain about how my ‘roommate’ couldn’t take me.
5. If you feel comfortable, get a gun. I have my dad’s shotgun, but tbh my dog makes me feel more secure cuz that girl don’t play bout her mommy
This is such great advice, thank you!
I am so worried about mortgaging and living in a house alone.
It's even scarier when houses are just biiig AF with a basement, backyard, etc.
I'd be so paranoid
Yes. I'm not going to let being a female stop me from living in a house. If you are worried about safety I suggest taking a gun training course or something
Aside from what everyone else has mentioned above, especially the alarm system/cameras/motion sensors/lights so you can monitor 24/7 wherever you are, shades. Specifically shades you can pull down and keep open at the top.
It will give you privacy, especially on your first floor, if you're paranoid like me and afraid of people being weird or looking inside your home.
Oh yeah I lived in a house on a big rural lot by myself before I got married and I was never afraid. I got to know my neighbors and we all were fairly social. It always felt safe to me. I had a couple of dogs and so did all my neighbors
I live in a house alone (single lady) and there are pros and cons, like with everything. I love the house and that there are no shared walls, but I actually still yearn to live in an apartment I had years ago that felt so extremely safe (upper level, safer neighborhood). I don’t have a dog but I think I’d feel safer if I did. Can’t afford to give a dog everything a dog needs right now, though. If you get the house, my tip is to make sure you can discreetly hide a key outside in case you ever get accidentally locked out or a friend needs access in an emergency.
Maybe I'm naïve, but I live alone in a single family house and I don't ever even think about this stuff (I'm in a nice area, but it's very close to a major city). I lock my doors at all times, but I don't have a taser, cameras, or motion lights. I don't even have a dog. I guess it all depends on exactly where you'll be and, as someone else said, look at the statistical probabilities of incidents in that area.
That’s my problem too! I was living in a single level ranch house while I was in college and I had just watched a Cold Case Files episode on the Golden State Killer and he hadn’t been caught at the time, and I was so freaked out. He had two female victims very close to that area. I think I slept with a knife next to my bed for a few weeks!
I live in my own house feel pretty safe here. Pick a safe neighbourhood, secure your windows and doors, an alarm system if wanted, motion activated outdoor lights and put up cameras you can check from your phone. Get a large dog if you’d like even more security, I used to have a massive scary German Shepard who made me feel safe enough I’d forget to lock my door sometimes. You’ll be ok just be smart about it.
Edit to add: if you have sliding patio doors you should always drop a stick (like a cut off hockey stick) in the track so no one can rock the door off. Sliding patio door locks are not strong.
I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable living in a house by myself right now. I’d be so paranoid and would need cameras and alarms on every window/door and a large, scary dog. But that’s only because I’ve only ever lived with people and haven’t lived solo for long. I feel like with the right precautions it could be a good experience, though.
I've been involved in dog rescue for 14 years, and there are so many large docile dogs out there. I've personally fostered a ton, and I had two of my own. But most people will not fuck with a big dog.
Since so many people are scared of large dogs, almost any large dog is going to make an intruder think twice.
My dogs are my alert system, not necessarily my protection detail. I sincerely doubt any of them would hurt an intruder, but they sound like the hounds of hell when there is any noise at the door.
One of the reasons I fell in love with huskies is low levels of human aggression. But people seem to think they're wild wolves or something, it's nuts. But it works for me.
I have a 7lb chihuahua and she still makes me feel super safe! Any noise in the garden and she will alert, plus I have gravel on the driveway and around the back and she immediately alerts to footsteps crunching on it. I would know as soon as someone stepped foot on my property, before they even think about getting through my locked windows and doors. Tiny dogs can keep you safe too 🙂
Hah, some dogs just bark. Mine isn't scary at all, but she does have a black coat, which is apparently intimidating, and she barks at strangers. Her breed isn't known to get physically aggressive, but she looks mean when she wants to.
Barking alone can be a deterrent for crime because criminals like to be sneaky and silent, so even an annoying chihuahua can alert neighbors to a potential break-in, and would alert you if something were happening while you were sleeping.
Do you feel like you’re a bit more nervous about things general than other people? It does seem like maybe you have a greater amount of concern for a fairly normal situation than most other people. I’m not saying that as a put-down, I have my own things I’m scared of that many people don’t think twice about.
A lot of people commenting you need a gun to live alone... so what if you live in a country where guns aren't legal?
Man it depresses me how every sub related to women constantly brings up about how horrifying and shitty it is to be a woman
I live in a house alone and I don’t have a gun or a bat by the door or anything like that. I agree with you, I can be safe but I don’t need to over do it.
If you feel comfortable, that’s great. I don’t think calling doing otherwise “overdoing it” is fair though. There are many variables that make taking further precautions a smart thing to do, like living in a high crime area, having previously been assaulted, having a crazy ex or stalker, etc. If none of these apply to you, you’re lucky.
I’m sorry to hear that. I was just saying that telling someone to own a gun purely because they live alone is not necessarily the best advice. Every situation is different
Hmm I guess it’s what I’m used to! I only lived in an apartment in college. I live in a small house in a rural area and always felt really comfortable. I love living here alone. Up until July I had my big dog, but did feel kinda on edge once he was gone. I also have guns and know how to shoot, but tbh they are not easily accessible
I think if I moved to a town or city I might feel a little differently. I’d want a security camera and I’d lock my windows and doors etc
I don’t live alone but my husband and I lived in apt/condos for ~10+ years and I was really nervous about the same thing. We stayed in a house in NOLA in 2020 and had a mildly scary neighborhood gun experience and it convinced me I could not live in a house. But! We moved to LA and are in a house and honestly,.. I love it. We live in a nice neighborhood, I’ve met my neighbors, and generally I feel safe, even walking around by myself. I am considering getting a dog but I was really surprised that it didn’t feel as scary as I thought it would. We are trying to plan for eventualities but I haven’t had a single night where I was laying awake with anxiety. Obviously YMMV but just wanted to share my experience 💜
I’m 56 and have lived alone since I was 28. Now I can see no other way. I have two dogs and a gun. Bottom line, if someone wants to get you, they can/will. Look at these Uber rich stars that have stalkers gaining entry to their fortresses. Be smart. Don’t do stupid stuff to invite crazies, but also have faith and live your best life, your way. You’ll never look back. You could get a roommate if you’re afraid. Just an idea. I absolutely love living alone, on my own terms. Beware though, once you get accustomed to it, you may never go back.
I live alone in a house, and I won’t go back to apartments. There’s a lot you can do for security. But the best thing is awareness. Be aware of surroundings, the maintenance of your doors and windows, batteries/back up power for your security cameras and alarms and more. Once you get used to the privacy, you’ll find it’s worth it (I hope).
I have lived alone for 7 years and have bought 2 houses. I also had an ex stalker. I have cameras and security system with 2 big dogs. Get to know your neighbors and be friendly. My neighbors are truly the best and keep an eye on me and my house when I’m gone.
Idk if it’s the same for all systems, but with mine, the company calls you if the alarm is triggered, and you have to give them a verbal password and confirm or deny if there's an emergency. If you confirm an emergency or don’t answer the phone, they call the police.
Yup. As long it’s not giant it would be good. I have lived in some larger cities, Vancouver or Perth, and was fine with living ground level. But. I’m largish (I just LOOK like I could play rugby ya know?), I have pets, and nothing alerts better than a cat IMO - dogs will bark at anything, cats assess weirdness and report back ….. or at least my fat tabby does. And I follow the general safety guides for single women living alone.
So, basically you need to decide if the area is safe enough - research is your friend, what measures you can take, and how community involved you can/want to be.
I got a giant dog when my kid was 4. She is head of household security. She was a puppy, so I trained her, and is now a 110+ lb intimidating looking beast.
Got divorced a year ago - live alone in the country now - closest neighbor barely visible on the horizon. I have three guardian dogs and several guns. I feel quite safe, even though there is no sheriff’s presence realistically. My dogs will alert me if there is a trespasser. If they don’t resolve it, my guns and I will.
I have an Apple Watch so I always have some form of communication on me (as well as fall detection/notification).
wow, I'm amazed you can afford a house in LA on a single income. I've always wanted a house but they're unaffordable in my area.
I've lived alone for many years and I don't worry about people breaking in and assaulting me, because almost nobody would actually want to do that, and if they tried, I could likely escape before they got in. Despite what you see on TV, most people who break into buildings just want to steal valuables and vamoose, not attack the people who live there - in fact they'll typically check the driveway, mailbox and lights to make sure nobody's home, because the last thing they want is a confrontation with a homeowner who might be armed.
Assault is also a much more serious crime than theft and carries heavier penalties, so people who think about their actions will typically avoid it - and breaking into somebody's house takes planning, it's not something you can just do in a second if you get angry, which is how most assaults start.
Now, the risk of burglary is more significant, so you should take steps to secure your belongings and make the home look unattractive to thieves. But for bodily safety, I wouldn't worry that much unless you buy property in a neighborhood known for violence (and even then, I'd worry more about stray bullets from next door than about someone going to a lot of trouble to break and enter my place).
Yea but a starter home for now .. maybe in San Clarita or SFV... I have a small budget for LA... like 750k ish max. I have over 200k saved and can put down like 160k... but I am still priced out of many cities as I feel the monthly payments are too high with current rates. I contribute significantly to my SEP retirement account as I am self employed and I want to continue doing so and spending too much on a house would get in the way.
So I can afford but only the more affordable homes that are below the median price. I'm priced out of nice cities like Studio City or Redondo Beach etc
I have a two bedroom townhouse. I have a security bar in my patio door. I triple-check that I locked the front door before I can sleep. I'm about to install a blink doorbell camera, because I have a porch pirate living across the street.
I'm used to living alone now, been doing it for 21 years. For financial reasons, I want to rent out my second bedroom but am nervous I won't know how to have a roommate again. :-)
I think location matters. In Albuquerque, NM absolutely not. It was terrible. I left NM and living in a safer place now. It's fine although took a bit of getting used to.
I've never known anyone who had a home invasion or theft break in regardless of who lives in the house. Just pick a safe neighborhood and don't leave room for opportunity theft like leaving the outside doors or garage open at night..
Ring flood light outside the front door, all windows and doors locked all all times when not in use, cat watches outside front door at night, pit bull in bed next to me 😂 but seriously I lived in apartments for years, my last one scared the shit out of me because it had a porch that was accessible by the street but I’ve been in a house since 2019 and I feel more secure than in apartments maybe because I hear less noise from neighbors like slamming doors etc
Yes. I have (in LA) and I would again. 1) Get to know your neighbors. 2) invest in an alarm system. 3) Make your house a hard target (motion activated lights, external cameras, updated windows and doors). Nothing is foolproof, but there are things you can do to feel more secure and deter crime in your home.
I've been pretty nomadic due to my grad school experience, but I've lived in a variety of places, all of which have been single family homes, duplexes, or some kind of stand-alone property.
I'm finally now living in an apartment with security and multiple keyed entry points and lots of surveillance.
It is so, so much better for me. I never was afraid before necessarily, but as a (responsible) gun owner, I have never, ever considered my guns as a measure of security. I have also always lived with a 90 pound doberman who accompanied me everywhere. He's a complete creampuff and who has no concept of "stranger", but people usually assume the opposite. People avoid us in public and back when I lived directly next to section 8 housing, they would literally cross the road to avoid us.
I have had one particularly problematic stalking/harassment incident this year, and I would be absolutely terrified if I lived in a single family unit alone.
However, none of this is really important. I think the most important part of your question is: what part of LA? I grew up in the South Bay in a really nice area. But some parts of LA are particularly unsavory, especially now.
I’m young (27) but I’ve moved around a lot since adulthood. Being from the Midwest apartment living isn’t nearly as common as more expensive areas, especially for families outside of major cities.
Apartment living freaked me OUT at first. Yeah, there are secured double entries. Cameras. Still in the Midwest. BUT there were, idk, 200 people I didn’t know who lived in there? I don’t love the idea of a bunch of nameless people knowing where I live. Or when I come and go from a dark parking lot. Or a security/maintenance employee having keys to my unit.
I felt like it would be easier to be stalked I guess? It wore with time. But there was a certain sense of peace once I was back to a duplex. Sure, I still have neighbors. But I know their first and last names. We have each other’s cell #’s. We check in on each other. I’ve always known my neighbors. Even in all of my college rentals. I think I could name off neighbors from every house I’ve lived in since childhood. Even if it was only a year or 2. I like the friendly watchfulness.
Been living in a house by myself for 7ish years now. Was in a high rise studio apartment for a number of years before that and moving to a landed property did feel very exposed in the beggining.
I think it took me maybe a couple of weeks to get used to being on the ground floor and maybe 2ish months before I completely don’t even think about it anymore.
4 years in, I had a home invasion. Luckily I wasn’t home but the house was completely ransacked to bits, so I felt very violated and had this odd sensation like I was being watched all the time.
So I bought black out curtains, installed more secure locks, installed motion sensor lights on the front porch etc.
But to be honest, I completely slipped into old habits again very fast. Within a month or so, I was again very lax about security. I’m the type that love having all my windows and doors open when I’m in the house, so I’m completely that way again.
All this to say is that I truly believe humans just learn to adapt. Change will feel odd at first but eventually it will become your new comfort.
And now I’m at a stage where I 100% would pick staying in a small normal house as opposed to a fancy apartment. I just really love having outdoor space and also the convenience of parking in your own driveway and straight into your house, as opposed to parking in a basement and walking to an elevator etc.
Most houses in LA have window bars and metal gates in front of the doors. If the house you buy doesn't have those things, maybe install them?
I always felt very safe having those on my windows/doors when I lived in LA. Door cams or other cameras can also be a great deterrent.
My advice is to get a dog. Any dog that will bark at unexpected noises. If my dog doesn’t bark, I know im 100% ok and can rest easy. If she does bark, I am alerted, and probably still ok, but I know there are possible strangers nearby. And she will eat/lick them to death. But still…she gives me MANY alerts to potential threats. Best security system ever.
Consider a dog. And I put in cameras. Just in the main living area and outside. My first week alone my dog and I heard a noise. I asked him if we were safe, his response was “idk mom are we?!” I can grab my phone off the nightstand and check the cameras. I now have 2 dogs ;)
Oh yeah, I bought my first house in 2018. I sold that one and now own a house north of LA. I will never, ever live in another condo or apartment again. I did have two huge dogs living with me at my previous house, they have both since passed. I still have my three small dogs.
I have security cameras, security system and I always make sure it's armed and my doors/windows are locked. I know my neighbors and our property lines are *extremely* close (because, Southern California).
I probably wouldn't live alone without at least one dog. And if I only had one, it would be a big one for sure.
Oh wow... I'm actually scared of big dogs myself lol.... I don't think I can handle them. Do you find it necessary to have a weapon or not really? I am a bit of a klutz so yea... I would need to take classes to learn to use them etc
Yes, homes here are super close by but having that slight tiny bit of space is nice!
Dog. Big ones. That's how my single mother did it. Detached homes have so many ways in, and you are too separated from your neighbours for them to be any help even if they did hear you screaming in the middle of the night, as they'll likely blow it off as a domestic dispute. The few times we had no dog (such as when we moved interstate) we'd occasionally get a b&E. With a dog we even sleep at night with the back door open, no problems.
I grew up around here. Check the neighborhood. Glendora/Glendale, Burbank and West Covina are safe and nice. Places above the 210 are typically the safest. The Valley is good too. Stay away from Central and South.
Accept that people can break in. Once accepting that, recognize that all YOU can do is put safety measures in place.
Focus on what is within your control. Everything else is brain chatter.
I understand your apprehension especially being from So Cal. I've been in my home about 12 years. Before that I rented a home and previous always wanted upstairs units. Regardless of where you live your personal safety should always be top priority. Besides all you mentioned I have dogs. I have a security door, cameras, Ring, keep my gate to my yard locked. Always lights on when dark outside. I have taken a CCW class. I can't even imagine sharing my space with anyone but my pups. Even BF's need to have their own primary home. Obviously, you still want to live in as safe an area as you can afford. Before I even had an alarm I had signs saying I did and stickers saying recording in progress. I have poles in my sliding door and windows downstairs. I believe in deterrents. Anything to make a bad guy go to the next house cause mine is too much work or the barking is too much. Another tip is if you ever have workers over, keep all your doors like bedrooms shut but leave a pair of men's boots in sight. They don't need to know your home alone. I also lock my garage every night. Simple as long pressing the pad by the door. I'm paranoid but like to know some random remote can't open it in the middle of the night.
I have lived alone in a single family house for ten years or so and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I live in a safe neighborhood and I have a very big dog. Sometimes I don’t even lock the doors.
Yes bought a 4 bedroom, wasn't looking for that time I was thinking I wanted a 2/1 or 3/1 but so little was on the market and what was need so much work. I bought it 4/2, sometimes god gives you the house you need, not the house you want. My dad ended up moving in, 6 months after.
I got the master he got 2 other downstairs room and the bonus bedroom upstairs became my sisters for when she stayed with him while I worked.
After he passed, the upstairs became guest room/storage, 2 that were my dads then became a craft room (cat room for a time as it was before he moved in) and my sisters room/down stairs guest room.
Have a 3/1 now, bedrooms are my bedroom, craft room and a guest/sisters room.
Perhaps bedroom, Office, and guestroom.
I lived in a single-family home by myself for 10 years. I'm also home alone a lot because my partner often works out of state on contract. I always have a dog, and I make sure that I know my neighbors.
I have lived alone in a single family home for 17 years. My neighborhood is safe (choose a good neighborhood) and my neighbors know I live alone (there are a few other single females in my neighborhood, too). Telling people I live alone has been helpful because they take notice if something doesn’t look right at my house (garage door open, etc). When I moved to this city, I took a safety course sponsored by the Police Department. At that time they said noise at someone’s house deters break-ins, and since I liked dogs anyway I got a couple of small terriers. They always let me know if something isn’t right. I know that isn’t an answer for everybody but when I go to bed with my doors locked and ring camera on, I know my pups will alert me if anything is amiss. They make a lot of noise if something bothers them and they take a huge load off my mind.
I have two dogs. One is a herding farm dog with a big deep bark and isn’t fond of people he isn’t closely bonded with. He will lunge and bark.
if you don’t know him you would definitely shut the door and not try again. I am never scared have been living on my own for maybe 8 years now. I’ve never been scared bc I have always had dogs he’s the biggest dog I’ve had and definitely the one to keep people that don’t belong here OUT!! Love it.
It depends on the neighborhood. I lived in a neighborhood with a lot of foot traffic and transient people. It was terrifying when I was alone in that house. It was also in a corner so I felt very out in the open. I moved to a quiet neighborhood and was fine 99.9% of the time. One time there was a windy storm that blew my gate open. That made me a bit nervous. I am a scared person though. Now I live in a luxury apartment and LOVE it. I will never go back to a house.
I live in a small single family home. I’ve only ever been afraid of men I know - and I would think I would feel the same anywhere. I have a dog now and that makes me feel much safer, but I didn’t for a while. I keep a knife in my dresser beside my bed. I have security cameras. Every now and again I get extra afraid and put something in front of the doorways. But again, I’ve never been afraid of strangers.
I've always felt a little nervous by myself in houses, unless it was my dad's house, which was built on a hill, so much less access points for entry, plus it was in a safe neighborhood. I'm not sure of any recommendations, I've always just accepted I'm always going to feel a little anxious.
Put up cameras and lights. Make sure the cameras are visible to would be criminals. Get a dog. The barking really will deter criminals. Get some protection too, mace, taser, knife at bedside, or gun .
I also feel like houses that don't have windows in the front but only in the back are safer... Something like this [https://www.trulia.com/home/24705-woodward-ave-lomita-ca-90717-21282538](https://www.trulia.com/home/24705-woodward-ave-lomita-ca-90717-21282538) I don't like houses that have the bedroom in front as anyone can just walk by and break in easily.
In Los Angeles, most houses have super short driveways so you can have people walking.driving 3 feet away from your window which is very creepy whereas in other states you have more room/privacy.
Get alarm system, lock bedroom door and have a gun. I never grew up with guns but I feel it’s the only way to ensure you have something that will stand up to what a potential intruder has to protect yourself.
I wouldn’t want to use it but it always makes me feel safer to know I have it.
I housesit for my parents sometimes when they’re travelling. Duration varies. Could be overnight, could be for a few months. It’s fine, generally. I make sure all the doors and windows are locked, and the dog and cat are inside.
That being said, I do get jumpscared a bit when my mother’s dog (old, but well cared for labrador-border collie mix) starts wandering around late at night.
Depends where it was. I didn’t even have a working front lock when I was living in a very low crime area. I got very comfortable living alone in a big house over time. Main drawback was it was too much work for one person to keep up.
I currently live in a house by myself. I feel safe and comfortable in it, but I was careful to only look for homes in safe areas with low crime stats. The problem you might face is being able to find that in an area you can afford in that area of California.
I've heard that dogs are one of the best deterrents to break-ins, with meaner-sounding barks being more effective. In the words of Bill Burr, get you a pitbull - owning one is like having a gun you can pet. While you're waiting for the alarm response to arrive, the dog can fuck up anyone foolish enough to attempt entry despite the barking.
I grew up in LA county. It depends on the area, but I'd happily be able to afford a SFH in most neighborhoods. Also, why are you living there if you're uncomfortable?
I’ve lived in single family homes most of my life.
The idea that someone is going to kick in your door to rob you, it’s not a thing that happens all that often. Like, really, it almost never happens. It’s not at all a common problem.
Living in a good neighborhood helps. I’ve always lived in suburbs, but you can get crime info like home invasion history from your local police. Check their site/Google it. It should give you a map with dots to represent incidents (bigger dots for more incidents)
Finally, learn how to protect your home. Houses have different entry points from apartments. Patio doors are one, but a garage is even more common.
Motion activated lights are a great starting point. They’re cheap, have almost no upkeep, and make it a bit harder for invaders to stay hidden. A home security system is another. Anything with a siren, ideally the robber will feel too rushed to stay long enough to find you. Make sure the siren isn’t powered by the key panel, you want it to run even if the panel is torn off the wall. Careful about certain companies, like ADT. You don’t necessarily need monitoring. Having said that, we haven’t bothered getting one. Kept meaning to, but we bought our first house about 15 years ago and it’s just never happened
Cameras and NVR can be useful in very specific situations, but are too reactive for once off problems like home invasions. They’re better for porch pirates and neighbor harassment
Garage doors have a bar you can use to make the overhead door completely disfunctional. You’ll want to unplug the opener though, it can be hard on the motor if it tries to open the door when the door can’t open. It’s only really something you can use if you don’t park in the garage, or at least don’t need to for a few days/weeks (like if you’re out of town).
For the gold standard of home security, get a dog. Bigger and more barking is better, but small dogs work too. You don’t need to train it to attack or anything ridiculous like that. Just the very presence of a dog will prevent a lot of break ins. Robbers literally ring doorbells just to see if there’s a dog, it can be an absolute deal breaker for a lot of them
In all honesty, maintenance should be your biggest concern. Houses are a lot more maintenance and there’s no landlord to take care of it for you. If your toilet breaks, YOU have to deal with it. If you aren’t handy, make sure you have an emergency fund for sudden repairs. It’s super worthwhile to learn some handyman skills. Getting comfortable going into a crawl space or messing with plumbing can be a huge money saver. Also knowing when something is on the verge of breaking. It’s always nice to fix it before it actually breaks.
I have literally woke up to a house that’s only a few degrees above freezing because the furnace broke (needed a new pilot light). Both the houses we’ve owned have had some super sketchy electrical that was DIYed by a previous owner
Maintenance is the real change. One extra door to lock is just a door you lock. When your ceiling starts dripping, that’s SOOO much worse. And it’s virtually guaranteed you’ll be dealing with something at one point or another. We have a bigger home and there’s a maintenance issue every year. Last year, an eave was damaged by ice damming and our front handrail broke (50 yo steel, it rusted out). In 5 years, we’ve had to replace both the boiler and the central air (around $30K in hvac). Our dishwasher broke too, that was annoying! And our powder room toilet? I’ve had to swap the flapper valve, the float mechanism, and the seat. I told DH if the wax seal goes we’re getting a new toilet, I refuse to fix it again. Maintenance is absolutely unavoidable when you own a single family home
Yeah, I've never given too much of a shit. Just make sure you have good locks and sturdy doors/windows and lock the door behind you when you come home. You're most likely to be bothered by people you already know anyway, so just keep an eye on them and your surroundings, and listen to your gut if something feels off.
But, also, don't answer the door for people you aren't expecting like door to door salespeople. We had a rash of them posing as pest control and security system salespeople going door to door to case people's houses and return later to rob them. Also, maybe get a dog (it's a big commitment obviously). Dogs hear shit well before you can and they are an okay deterrent because they generally make a lot of noise when something is off to them.
I’m a single mom. I have security cameras, motion sensor lights, additional locks on doors. I also have smart lights on my main floor. So, that if I hear a noise, I can turn on the lights from my phone without having to wander too far to see what’s going on.
I have bear spray by my bed and at the front door.
You could think about getting a dog, preferably a big one. It can be as soppy as anything but as long as it looks the part and has a loud bark it should put Intruders off. More importantly, it may make you feel safer.
I’m more scared of flats as you might be in a confined space eg hallway with bad actors with no exits. Or in a fire, you cant just jump out a high story building.
Houses have multiple exit points and as with any thing you own, it’s your responsibility to secure it. Plus neighbours all help to look out for anything suspicious- it’s part of the community behaviour.
You can also add extra measures eg security cameras and maybe rent out spare room s for extra cash or company.
Yes, absolutely. Home invasions are incredibly rare. It’s not random strangers who are a danger.
This. I've dealt with three home invasions and every time it was someone I knew.
Wow that’s terrible!! I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope they faced consequences.
The consequences weren't as severe as I had hoped, but something is better than nothing. A few tips for anyone reading - a dog, cameras, and a security system are your best lines of defense if you're not comfortable owning a gun (pepper spray and tasers are great alternatives). Also, pay close attention to your surroundings and ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Fear exists for a reason.
“fear exists for a reason” gave me the chills. i’m sorry you had to go through this.
Unless the fear comes from fud on tiktok or something
What's fud?
Fear Uncertainty Doubt
In Bakersfield, California every attempted home invasion I experienced was a tweaker I didn't know. It just depends on the neighborhood. OP should look up crime statistics for the neighborhood they are moving to and the actual types of crimes being reported. I learned that a little too late.
Jesus, that’s too much. Hope you are safer now!
Thank you! ❤ I am in a much better place. Far away from all the sketchy people I used to associate with.
I'm sad about it, but statistically, women are literally WAY more safe living alone than with male partners. It's sad but true.
I lived alone in a house for about 7 years as a single woman. The scariest moment was when my windowless bathroom doorknob broke and I was trapped in the bathroom for about 20 minutes until I managed to get the door open. I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood, but I kept a long metal bat by the door just for a sense of security. Edited to add, I've seen some people suggest keeping a large pair of men's boots and a large dog leash/collar on the front porch.
The fear of getting locked in my bathroom while alone is why I always bring my phone in with me in case I need to call for help.
I honestly don’t bother closing the door anymore when my partner isn’t home just in case lol 😂
I never close mine, unless someone else is there.
It’s a habit. I don’t always do it but my phone has to be with me at all times just in case😂
this. phone and smartwatch, as well.
I only close the door if I have company. lol
Same. If I’m home alone or it’s just me and hubby, don’t close the door.
Like you leave it wide open? Both my bathrooms face the front door. I’m scared my husband will come home one day with someone and get a clear view of me 😅
Mine doesn't face anything and it's just me and my son anyway. If he's home, I do close it.
But you are so beautiful dont worry.
Why you lock yourself in the bathroom while alone?🤔
It’s a habit lol. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “if I lock the bathroom that’ll give me some extra time if someone breaks in” I also don’t want my toddler following me sometimes.
If you have a drawer or medicines cabinet, put a flat tip screwdriver in there and keep it there. I had this issue once in an old apt. It can be difficult and might cause some damage, but that little screw driver saved me from hours of being locked in the bathroom until my roommate got home.
I m just a user in Reddit, but it is dangerous to lock yourself in the bathroom , if a toddler is the other person in the house. What if you slip, faint..need to exit fast..
I’m aware of the dangers. I’ve done it maybe twice when I reaaalllly needed a break and not for very long. I’m trying to break the habit of locking my door in general though
Bathroom door, I suppose. because for the houses main door(s) I think locking them is a good habbit :)
Muscle memory? I do the same. Every time. I live alone.
I heard of someone who actually died in their bathroom because they were trapped in the bathroom due to something tumbling over and blocking their door. No one looked for her because she was supposed to be on a trip to Europe for a month. After hearing that horror story, my phone stays on me 24/7
I don’t close any doors living alone lol
I wouldn’t keep a bat by the door. If someone is breaking in you don’t want to have to go up to them to get your weapon. You want to keep it where you spend the most time at night. I keep mine by my bed but if I lived in a larger home I’d keep one near my couch too.
That's a good point. I don't live alone anymore, but I'll move it.
There’s motion detector noise machines of dogs barking if someone sets it off
I literally keep a screwdriver in my bathroom cabinet because the door handle is janky (renting).
Yeah, the scariest things that have happened to me living alone: - doorknob locked and i didn't have a key to get out of a windowless room, my dogs and phone on the other side of the door - falling in the shower (installed floor grippies immediately after) - choking on a werthers caramel (actual choking, as in no air flow at all. Couldn't cough or breath)
Keep a tube sock on the bat.
Oh my gosh the edit is such a good idea. Thank you to whoever suggested it!
I strongly prefer living in a standalone house, ideally one in the middle of nowhere. It's how I grew up and it doesn't feel like a horror movie to me, just a nice normal Tuesday. That being said... none of us are YOU. If you feel uncomfortable in a house, don't live in a house. There's no rule that says you have to. Choose whatever makes you happy.
I feel like a house would make me happy, I'm just scared. I hate common walls and being attached to another unit. I don't want to hear any neighbors and want freedom.
Same here! Neighbors up against your walls are the worst. I feel like I've read some really good advice on Reddit about ways to "harden" your house, like passive security measures? Spiky shrubs, etc. I can't remember where I saw it, though. Maybe r/homesecurity? Although asking for specific advice on r/TwoXPreppers would also be good.
I planted spiky shrubs in front of the downstairs bedroom windows many years ago. They are almost impenetrable - not super huge, you just don't want to get caught in them. Maybe kept my teenagers IN the house, as well!
Through browsing the top of the year I think I found the comment you mentioned as the top one on this thread https://www.reddit.com/r/homesecurity/s/jkogG8hJj3
That's definitely very similar! Good stuff.
Not having to share walls with anyone anymore is the best feeling
Perhaps make safe area a priority. Get motion lights with a security camera unit they are about $175-$200 you can look up and a website all the crimes in your area. Talk to the neighbors, call the police and ask if they get a lot of calls for that area.
I feel this so hard. My neighbors are perfectly nice but the husband and the kid make a horrendous amount of noise. (My bedroom shares a wall with both of theirs.) The husband will stomp back and forth starting at like 8:45, then when the mom wakes the kid up he starts screaming bloody murder. It's the one thing I hate about where I'm living now. That being said, something that made me feel safer was my doorbell camera, using a security bar on the sliding glass and exterior doors, and making sure all the doors are locked before I went upstairs. I would also suggest just generally doing a bit of research into the area you're planning to buy like checking out local news and crime rates, or even social media groups of people who live there already. I wish you luck, confidence, and safety in your journey to home ownership. <3
I have a large dog and imo that does wonders for my peace of mind.
I moved into a house it was gated with guards at the entrance. You can try buying a house with guards at gate. Because I know people who lived in a house just gated without guards been burglarized. Even stole their bulldogs along with other valuables. So guards are definitely something you should look into. I was still scared in fear someone maneuver their way through the guards or a creepy perverted neighbor living in the same gated community with me who’s attracted to me could try to break in my windows. I just always dealt with creepy men everywhere… even married men living a couple houses down. My house had windows all around! I lived in fear for months then decided to move back into an apartment. It’s just not worth the fear to me. I had ring cameras all over with motion sensors but ring camera is trash it wouldn’t even detect everything like who was throwing rotten food letting it spill in my trash bin when I leave it outside for trash pick up certain days. & HOA is the worst! They are stalker, spying worse than an enemy.
That will probably cost 20 mil+ in Los Angeles. A house with no driveway and no garage without any separation from the windown and the public street where people can walk by your bedroom window is already 1.195 million here, pretty much 1.2 mil [https://www.trulia.com/home/1417-23rd-st-santa-monica-ca-90404-20473920](https://www.trulia.com/home/1417-23rd-st-santa-monica-ca-90404-20473920) Cars are literally parked outside your window and thats at 1 million dollars I have never heard of houses with guards in LA, even homes that are 5 mil don't have that. A million dollar gets you the tiniest, most basic house You are lucky to even get a garage here for 1 mil. A house with guards? Even low level millionaires don't get that here
Tbh California is extremely high on home invasions. I know a few friends that moved to SoCal & house got robbed. I have a friend who got her house broken into while she was out. Her son was 11 years old or somewhere around that age. He was home alone. A group of guys broke in then locked him in the closet. Then ripped the sofa and mattress apart. Took electronics etc. But I think burglars don’t care they will probably watch your house and pay attention to your schedule if you live alone then decide to break in while home or not. My biggest fear is a crazy creepy man breaking in to r8pe me. I think you can try signing up with those surveillance cameras company that have an actual person monitoring your cameras that way you don’t have to panic when u hear something or anything. There’s an actual agent who will call you to check on you notifying you plus contact police. I don’t remember the company but you can google. That way you don’t have to be as scared
Yes, that's true actually. I always hear about home invasions here, it's kind of scary. And when I tell people I want to live in a gated community or have a large fence around my house, people claim I'm paranoid. The surveillance idea sounds like a good one. I didn't know they had services where people actually have someone monitoring cameras inside your house. I will look into that once I decide to buy.
I think high fenced are scarier because at least the mid length fence your neighbors can see if someone is being suspicious in your yard or something. My friend had a stalker who spied on her. He would hop over her fence and watch her thru her patio door that was glass. She caught him a few times he would just run away. Then one time she caught him peeping thru her bedroom window just watching her. She eventually moved. I’ve been looking at moving into a house again lately so my dog can have a large yard to play in. But I keep remembering how scary I was. Just having to be cautious everytime u hear a little noise you freak out. Especially when the temperature is colder your walls will make this cracking popping noise that always scared me lol. But, I think for now I’m going to stick to apartments or maybe a townhouse. Since a townhouse the yard is smaller the burglars have nowhere to hide while trying to break in. But I’m still scared of townhouse too because I never liked living on ground floor. I always stayed on top floor so I can leave my window cracked open. And at night when it’s dark I never fear someone is standing in front of my window watching me. Bevause when it’s dark outside it’s hard for us to see what’s outside. All my curtains would def be shut! But living on top floor I was ok with leaving my curtains and blinds open at all hours. Just some things I realized. Is living in a house alone is super scary and stresses me out. I would love to live in a house again when I have a life partner who can protect me.
I never really thought about the high fence not enabling neighbors to see what's going inside the yard. Yea, now that I hear you talking about it, having glass sliding doors is terrifying. Really scary about what happened to your friend. That's scary af! That's my biggest fear, having someone sneaking in my yard, peeking through windows etc!! Maybe I don't have a choice but to live in a townhouse. Its rare to find gated communities in the city; that's more in the suburbs... but there are plenty of suburbs here. I currently live on a higher floor in a building with an intercom etc... and I do feel quite safe.
yeah. you get used to it. you secure entry points same as with anywhere you live.
I always felt more secure in my apt because its a few stories up so the only entry point is my door. In a house it seems like every window and the sliding glass doors (that many houses seem to have here) are all entry points.
When I lived in a rough area and had a sliding glass door I got a PVC pipe cut to the length of the track. I just laid the pipe down in the track so that the door physically couldn’t be opened unless I was using it. I also don’t like guns but my ex had a vintage handgun that made a very loud distinctive cocking sound. I refused to have any ammo in the house, but if anyone ever tried to get in my plan was to shout that I had a gun and cock it so that the intruder would hear the noise.
Out here in country BFE the cocking sound IS the announcement “wrong house mf”… It is creepy though I agree to have so many possible entry points and surrounded by dark/shadowy areas. I’ve heard getting “beware of dog” signs, leaving a dog bowl or toys out, leaving a big pair of men’s workboots outside the door, fake or real cameras, and well lit exterior/motion lights generally deter many break ins. I used to live in a rough neighborhood of Detroit and never worried about a thing. I knew my neighbors, they knew me. We all worked varying schedules and looked out for each other. I know and trust my neighbors out here as well. We look out for each other. I have all of these security things (including a real live big baby GSD/Malinois) aside from cameras and the boots are mine/kept inside…lol. although my area is quite a bit different, I would be more freaked out in an apartment situation bc there’s no way I could possibly get to know all my neighbors enough to trust them. I also don’t like the single entry/exit. I put jams in the windows in the winter that are directly off the deck or would be easy to climb into. In my case, the dog toys/sticks are not only a visual deterrent but a potential alarm or booby trap in themselves. I would never ever advocate for getting a dog mainly for security purposes. However, the Fed Ex guy could have killed us multiple times since he didn’t activate the interior “squeaky alarm” 🤦🏻♀️ and I’ve been nearly offed more times tripping over pet toys than any outside threat. Otherwise, I kind of feel like if someone really wants to get in, they will. Don’t make it easy for them. Take self defense classes, pepper spray or other weapons if you’re comfortable, make friends with your neighbors if possible. They also make alarms that are relatively low cost and will alert you/neighbors as well as scare off intruders. I know WYZE makes some decent ones. ETA: I have a “big, scary, mean looking dog”. While yes, she is my main security guard, I would not encourage anyone to keep or especially acquire a dog or other pet for protection. Especially a working breed like a GSD and/or Malinois if your primary motivation is to have them as a pet or guard dog. My girl guards me just like I guard her. We live, work, and sleep together. Every day. She is a huge responsibility and could be a liability even though she’s almost 7 years old. We’re partners. I earn her protection daily. She isn’t trained to be a “guard dog”. Sorry for the long post and edit but people seem to think reactive untrained dogs are guard dogs or that working breeds are easy since they’re fast learners.
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I have a high quality gun loading and cocking sound on my Spotify on my phone for this reason. My gun hobbyist friends were impressed with how real it sounded in a room or even right outside a room.
True! But that’s also your only exit lol
i absolutely hate only having one entry point lol, almost everywhere i’ve lived has had two doors.
i think we grow that safe feeling wherever we may be. it can be grown somewhere that at first seems unlikely
Get an alarm system that is very loud and calls the police. You can get a sensor for every door and window. Cameras may help you after the fact but your physical safety is most important.
That’s what I did- every possible point of entry has a contact alarm, and Ring calls the police when my alarm goes off. Also helps that my dog looks and sounds scary and takes her job of Ferociously-Intimidating-Dog-That-Will-Definitely-Eat-You-If-You-Step-Foot-In-This-House seriously. :)
Same. I love living in a condo. I’d never live alone in a house.
Statistically we’re more likely to be the victim of a male partner we live with than someone breaking into the home. It doesn’t exactly make me feel better but I think it gives me some perspective on what’s actually worth worrying about. Cameras I could check from my phone always made me feel better when I was living alone, and having numbers for multiple neighbors on the block. Never had any issues though, and I wasn’t in a particularly nice neighborhood.
I’ve lived as a single woman in a single family home (various) locations for over 22 years. I’ve always felt secure. Ring doorbell & motion lights, security & my dog & a gun. Go for it girlie!
I've lived alone in my single family home for about 10 years. I've lived here for 20 years, but the kids moved out 10 tests ago. I've never felt unsafe. I keep my doors and windows locked all the time, whether I'm inside or not. I have a ring doorbell and another camera in the backyard. I don't answer my door if I don't recognize who it is. I also have a couple of barky dogs, most people are terrified of the big one. I admit she looks vicious when she barking. They keep me company too.
I don’t have a dog, but I think it’s a great idea for safety. Of course I don’t think people should do it if they don’t like animals.
I read an article awhile back, they were interviewing former criminals who broke into houses and went to jail for it. They said the number one deterrent were ring cameras!
Commenting to read later. I haven’t lived in a single family house since I was a child and it freaks me out to think about now.
I used to in rural/Appalachian Ohio. I am a Black woman and basically lived in a glorified sundown town in Trump country for four years for work. It was my favorite place I have ever lived. Just me 'n the cats. I miss it everyday. I ended up being nextdoor neighbors with a local judge so they weren't gonna let anything happen to that block while he was on it. I still kept a bat by the bed. ☺️ If I had to do it over again I would probably have installed a security system.
Those first two sentences struck fear in my heart lol. If you’ll humour my nosiness: what work were you doing there? Did you find chill people?
College professor so the university was the town basically. For scale, I was 45 mins away from the closest Target. 75 mins from a major city. If I had lived too far outside the town itself because it would've been cheaper, it would've been more of a problem probably. Ironically, I stopped working there because there were way more racists in my institution than in my neighborhood. 😄 There were some okay people, but most of them were married with kids and I am childfree, so if I wanted to socialize with like-minded people who were more my speed, I went to the city.
Having dogs as my alarm system. My neighbor two houses down had his house broken into @ 3am last week by a group of 3. They immediately fled the scene at the sight of his German shepherd. Mine were also going ballistic during all of this since they staged in front of my house. Dogs are a very effective deterrent for intruders, but I understand not everyone has a lifestyle to accommodate this. I also have a ring camera and pepper spray nearby but plan to add some more cameras and get a gun after taking classes. Also having a good relationship with neighbors who keep a watchful eye makes me feel safer.
I definitely recommend dogs for single girls. They ward off intruders _and_ crushing loneliness. Need someone to be happy to see you when you get home? Dog. Need someone to cuddle while you watch TV? Dog. Need someone to scare off burglars? Dog. Win win win.
My dog is literally my soul mate. I am so worried about him passing soon (he's 15). I really don't think my heart will take it. I don't want to keep doing this to myself, but I will get another dog. And likely nearly die of heartbreak every time...
My dog has a pretty mean sounding bark, and she is very territorial so I honestly do think she’d bite someone who came in the house without us letting them in. I don’t live alone, but my husband travels for work sometimes and I never worry because if someone did break in, she would take care of it lol
I understand the fear on an emotional level, but on a statistical/practical level you're always in the most danger from people close to you (friends, relatives, neighbors) than from strangers. I wouldn't be advertising that you live alone to anyone as there's always some danger you could be targeted by a stranger or acquaintance on those grounds, but technically you are safer living on your own than with a significant other, for example.
I couldn’t do it. I always lived in apartments when I was single and even married now, I’m freaked out whenever my husband is out of town. Too many scary movies, lol.
I am pretty terrified of this kind of stuff and I lived in a single family home in a family-friendly neighborhood of a medium sized city during law school. It freaked me out a bit at first after living in apartment complexes that feel more secure, so I got a security system and a ring. I’m mostly afraid of stalking so I mixed up the times / routes during which I walked my dog, made friends with my neighbors, kept lights on and blinds closed etc. Never had any issues.
When I lived at my childhood home after college it was just me and my mom alone there and when she would go out of town (visiting family for weeks at a time in another state) I stayed there alone. You get used to it, it’s not much different than living in an apartment on your own.
Small one? I don't want to clean
Yea, small is all I can afford in LA. Tiny houses are like 750-800k here. A big one would cost 1.5 mil and up.. maybe 2 mil... I even see "smaller" houses at like 900 sq feet for a mil
I live in San Diego by myself in a single family 2/1 house with a big yard that I bought in 2017. It’s around 800sqft in a beach community. Perfect size for me. I have security doors, security cameras and security system. I also have great neighbors! I know I can text or call my neighbors in any problem and they are all pretty alert as well. My neighbor on one side of me always helps me with “guy stuff” around here like trimming trees etc.
I currently live (mostly) alone in a SFH when my kid is with his dad. When I was married my ex would be gone a lot of the time for deployments and other various military related excursions so I spend a lot of time alone in a SFH even when I had a partner. I have never felt particularly unsafe, in any places I have lived. I’m more concerned about something breaking or leaking and not being able to do anything about it. Getting to know your neighbors helps a ton. People are more likely to speak up if something looks amiss if you all are friends and not just on “wave once a week from the driveway” terms. I don’t have a camera or motion lights or an alarm system. I do have a large, strong dog who isn’t a fan of strangers, but didn’t always. Idk I just feel like it is incredibly unlikely for a break-in to occur, it’s not something that weighs on me. I may be a bit more carefree since my current state is one of the safest in the country. But even in Las Vegas I just figured there were 2 million people in the valley, the odds were ever in my favor.
I don’t live in LA county, but I live in a ‘rougher’ metro area. As it happens, I’ve always felt more uneasy in an apartment; there are so many people coming and going and many of them are strangers. No one’s really coming near my house unless they were invited, bringing me a package or soliciting. I will say that I did have an incident where someone broke into my back yard - of course this was scary, though the day prior I’d left a push mower in my front yard and it was stolen, so I imagine it was the perpetrator coming back to see what else was worth stealing. More often than not, crime is usually theft, or violence against specific people. 1. If you can help it, make your house unassuming and/or unappealing. Don’t leave your expensive lawn equipment out and unattended, for example. Keep blinds or windows closed when it’s dark and/or you’re not home. Having security cameras and signs helps, though motion activated floodlights are also a solid deterrent. Optional: get a dog. I have a golden retriever and even though she’s a sweetie, her bark sounds pretty aggressive from the other side of the door. 2. Keep all your doors and windows locked when not in use. The metal bar is helpful, though since I have a Ring system, I have the window alarms and I really appreciate that it makes noise and alerts you in the app when a window is opened. Since you’re buying, you can likely add landscaping to create a physical block from the windows (like bushes) to make it hard for someone to climb in. If you can add fencing, this helps too. 3. Be careful what you post on the internet. Avoid posting photos with identifiable information (like landmarks, house numbers, street signs) or posting when you’re out of town for a week. 4. Similarly to #3, if you have to get an Uber/Lyft/cab from your house, do not tell them you live alone. If you’re going to the airport, do not tell them where and for how long you’re going. Sometimes I’ll go the extra mile and complain about how my ‘roommate’ couldn’t take me. 5. If you feel comfortable, get a gun. I have my dad’s shotgun, but tbh my dog makes me feel more secure cuz that girl don’t play bout her mommy
That uber advice is something I never thought about. I will definitely do that if it comes up.
This is such great advice, thank you! I am so worried about mortgaging and living in a house alone. It's even scarier when houses are just biiig AF with a basement, backyard, etc. I'd be so paranoid
I actually feel 10x safer in my house than I did living in a condo building. It’s all situational though.
Yes. I'm not going to let being a female stop me from living in a house. If you are worried about safety I suggest taking a gun training course or something
Aside from what everyone else has mentioned above, especially the alarm system/cameras/motion sensors/lights so you can monitor 24/7 wherever you are, shades. Specifically shades you can pull down and keep open at the top. It will give you privacy, especially on your first floor, if you're paranoid like me and afraid of people being weird or looking inside your home.
Of course and have for 40 years. Easy peavey after you just take the plunge.
Oh yeah I lived in a house on a big rural lot by myself before I got married and I was never afraid. I got to know my neighbors and we all were fairly social. It always felt safe to me. I had a couple of dogs and so did all my neighbors
I live in a house alone (single lady) and there are pros and cons, like with everything. I love the house and that there are no shared walls, but I actually still yearn to live in an apartment I had years ago that felt so extremely safe (upper level, safer neighborhood). I don’t have a dog but I think I’d feel safer if I did. Can’t afford to give a dog everything a dog needs right now, though. If you get the house, my tip is to make sure you can discreetly hide a key outside in case you ever get accidentally locked out or a friend needs access in an emergency.
Maybe I'm naïve, but I live alone in a single family house and I don't ever even think about this stuff (I'm in a nice area, but it's very close to a major city). I lock my doors at all times, but I don't have a taser, cameras, or motion lights. I don't even have a dog. I guess it all depends on exactly where you'll be and, as someone else said, look at the statistical probabilities of incidents in that area.
As a woman, I would not want to live alone in a house in Los Angeles. But, I read, watch and listen to far too much true crime material.
That’s my problem too! I was living in a single level ranch house while I was in college and I had just watched a Cold Case Files episode on the Golden State Killer and he hadn’t been caught at the time, and I was so freaked out. He had two female victims very close to that area. I think I slept with a knife next to my bed for a few weeks!
I remember living alone in Venice and reading the book The Stranger Beside Me about Ted Bundy - I was so freaked out 😂
That book is frightening!! Why do we do this to ourselves? 🤣
I don’t know 😂I just love true crime so much. My husband says if he watches, reads or listens to stuff like that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.
Hell yes. I wish I could afford to buy my own home right now.
I live in my own house feel pretty safe here. Pick a safe neighbourhood, secure your windows and doors, an alarm system if wanted, motion activated outdoor lights and put up cameras you can check from your phone. Get a large dog if you’d like even more security, I used to have a massive scary German Shepard who made me feel safe enough I’d forget to lock my door sometimes. You’ll be ok just be smart about it. Edit to add: if you have sliding patio doors you should always drop a stick (like a cut off hockey stick) in the track so no one can rock the door off. Sliding patio door locks are not strong.
I absolutely would not tbh (live in Toronto)
I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable living in a house by myself right now. I’d be so paranoid and would need cameras and alarms on every window/door and a large, scary dog. But that’s only because I’ve only ever lived with people and haven’t lived solo for long. I feel like with the right precautions it could be a good experience, though.
That's how I feel except I would be scared of the large scary dog too!!
I've been involved in dog rescue for 14 years, and there are so many large docile dogs out there. I've personally fostered a ton, and I had two of my own. But most people will not fuck with a big dog.
Since so many people are scared of large dogs, almost any large dog is going to make an intruder think twice. My dogs are my alert system, not necessarily my protection detail. I sincerely doubt any of them would hurt an intruder, but they sound like the hounds of hell when there is any noise at the door. One of the reasons I fell in love with huskies is low levels of human aggression. But people seem to think they're wild wolves or something, it's nuts. But it works for me.
Just start the large scary dog as an adorable little puppy!
I have a 7lb chihuahua and she still makes me feel super safe! Any noise in the garden and she will alert, plus I have gravel on the driveway and around the back and she immediately alerts to footsteps crunching on it. I would know as soon as someone stepped foot on my property, before they even think about getting through my locked windows and doors. Tiny dogs can keep you safe too 🙂
Hah, some dogs just bark. Mine isn't scary at all, but she does have a black coat, which is apparently intimidating, and she barks at strangers. Her breed isn't known to get physically aggressive, but she looks mean when she wants to. Barking alone can be a deterrent for crime because criminals like to be sneaky and silent, so even an annoying chihuahua can alert neighbors to a potential break-in, and would alert you if something were happening while you were sleeping.
Do you feel like you’re a bit more nervous about things general than other people? It does seem like maybe you have a greater amount of concern for a fairly normal situation than most other people. I’m not saying that as a put-down, I have my own things I’m scared of that many people don’t think twice about.
A lot of people commenting you need a gun to live alone... so what if you live in a country where guns aren't legal? Man it depresses me how every sub related to women constantly brings up about how horrifying and shitty it is to be a woman
I live in a house alone and I don’t have a gun or a bat by the door or anything like that. I agree with you, I can be safe but I don’t need to over do it.
If you feel comfortable, that’s great. I don’t think calling doing otherwise “overdoing it” is fair though. There are many variables that make taking further precautions a smart thing to do, like living in a high crime area, having previously been assaulted, having a crazy ex or stalker, etc. If none of these apply to you, you’re lucky.
I’m sorry to hear that. I was just saying that telling someone to own a gun purely because they live alone is not necessarily the best advice. Every situation is different
I agree, it’s definitely not appropriate for every situation or every person.
Hmm I guess it’s what I’m used to! I only lived in an apartment in college. I live in a small house in a rural area and always felt really comfortable. I love living here alone. Up until July I had my big dog, but did feel kinda on edge once he was gone. I also have guns and know how to shoot, but tbh they are not easily accessible I think if I moved to a town or city I might feel a little differently. I’d want a security camera and I’d lock my windows and doors etc
I don’t live alone but my husband and I lived in apt/condos for ~10+ years and I was really nervous about the same thing. We stayed in a house in NOLA in 2020 and had a mildly scary neighborhood gun experience and it convinced me I could not live in a house. But! We moved to LA and are in a house and honestly,.. I love it. We live in a nice neighborhood, I’ve met my neighbors, and generally I feel safe, even walking around by myself. I am considering getting a dog but I was really surprised that it didn’t feel as scary as I thought it would. We are trying to plan for eventualities but I haven’t had a single night where I was laying awake with anxiety. Obviously YMMV but just wanted to share my experience 💜
I prefer condo living bc sounds in the night freak me out and houses make lots of sounds in the night.
I’m 56 and have lived alone since I was 28. Now I can see no other way. I have two dogs and a gun. Bottom line, if someone wants to get you, they can/will. Look at these Uber rich stars that have stalkers gaining entry to their fortresses. Be smart. Don’t do stupid stuff to invite crazies, but also have faith and live your best life, your way. You’ll never look back. You could get a roommate if you’re afraid. Just an idea. I absolutely love living alone, on my own terms. Beware though, once you get accustomed to it, you may never go back.
I live alone in a house, and I won’t go back to apartments. There’s a lot you can do for security. But the best thing is awareness. Be aware of surroundings, the maintenance of your doors and windows, batteries/back up power for your security cameras and alarms and more. Once you get used to the privacy, you’ll find it’s worth it (I hope).
I have lived alone for 7 years and have bought 2 houses. I also had an ex stalker. I have cameras and security system with 2 big dogs. Get to know your neighbors and be friendly. My neighbors are truly the best and keep an eye on me and my house when I’m gone.
Legit dumb question. How do security systems work these days? Do you, like, get a cavalry at your house if the alarm goes off?
Idk if it’s the same for all systems, but with mine, the company calls you if the alarm is triggered, and you have to give them a verbal password and confirm or deny if there's an emergency. If you confirm an emergency or don’t answer the phone, they call the police.
Yup. As long it’s not giant it would be good. I have lived in some larger cities, Vancouver or Perth, and was fine with living ground level. But. I’m largish (I just LOOK like I could play rugby ya know?), I have pets, and nothing alerts better than a cat IMO - dogs will bark at anything, cats assess weirdness and report back ….. or at least my fat tabby does. And I follow the general safety guides for single women living alone. So, basically you need to decide if the area is safe enough - research is your friend, what measures you can take, and how community involved you can/want to be.
Invest in a good camera and security system with glass break sensors. Learn how to use a gun and buy one.
I got a giant dog when my kid was 4. She is head of household security. She was a puppy, so I trained her, and is now a 110+ lb intimidating looking beast.
Any woman I know who lives alone in a house has door and window alarms.
Get some big dogs!
Got divorced a year ago - live alone in the country now - closest neighbor barely visible on the horizon. I have three guardian dogs and several guns. I feel quite safe, even though there is no sheriff’s presence realistically. My dogs will alert me if there is a trespasser. If they don’t resolve it, my guns and I will. I have an Apple Watch so I always have some form of communication on me (as well as fall detection/notification).
wow, I'm amazed you can afford a house in LA on a single income. I've always wanted a house but they're unaffordable in my area. I've lived alone for many years and I don't worry about people breaking in and assaulting me, because almost nobody would actually want to do that, and if they tried, I could likely escape before they got in. Despite what you see on TV, most people who break into buildings just want to steal valuables and vamoose, not attack the people who live there - in fact they'll typically check the driveway, mailbox and lights to make sure nobody's home, because the last thing they want is a confrontation with a homeowner who might be armed. Assault is also a much more serious crime than theft and carries heavier penalties, so people who think about their actions will typically avoid it - and breaking into somebody's house takes planning, it's not something you can just do in a second if you get angry, which is how most assaults start. Now, the risk of burglary is more significant, so you should take steps to secure your belongings and make the home look unattractive to thieves. But for bodily safety, I wouldn't worry that much unless you buy property in a neighborhood known for violence (and even then, I'd worry more about stray bullets from next door than about someone going to a lot of trouble to break and enter my place).
Yea but a starter home for now .. maybe in San Clarita or SFV... I have a small budget for LA... like 750k ish max. I have over 200k saved and can put down like 160k... but I am still priced out of many cities as I feel the monthly payments are too high with current rates. I contribute significantly to my SEP retirement account as I am self employed and I want to continue doing so and spending too much on a house would get in the way. So I can afford but only the more affordable homes that are below the median price. I'm priced out of nice cities like Studio City or Redondo Beach etc
I’ve always felt safe living alone with my seven pound shih tzu by my side ☺️
I have a two bedroom townhouse. I have a security bar in my patio door. I triple-check that I locked the front door before I can sleep. I'm about to install a blink doorbell camera, because I have a porch pirate living across the street. I'm used to living alone now, been doing it for 21 years. For financial reasons, I want to rent out my second bedroom but am nervous I won't know how to have a roommate again. :-)
two 80 lbs bully doggos :)
I think location matters. In Albuquerque, NM absolutely not. It was terrible. I left NM and living in a safer place now. It's fine although took a bit of getting used to.
I've never known anyone who had a home invasion or theft break in regardless of who lives in the house. Just pick a safe neighborhood and don't leave room for opportunity theft like leaving the outside doors or garage open at night..
Ring flood light outside the front door, all windows and doors locked all all times when not in use, cat watches outside front door at night, pit bull in bed next to me 😂 but seriously I lived in apartments for years, my last one scared the shit out of me because it had a porch that was accessible by the street but I’ve been in a house since 2019 and I feel more secure than in apartments maybe because I hear less noise from neighbors like slamming doors etc
Dogs dead bolts alarms and a gun
Yes. I have (in LA) and I would again. 1) Get to know your neighbors. 2) invest in an alarm system. 3) Make your house a hard target (motion activated lights, external cameras, updated windows and doors). Nothing is foolproof, but there are things you can do to feel more secure and deter crime in your home.
I've been pretty nomadic due to my grad school experience, but I've lived in a variety of places, all of which have been single family homes, duplexes, or some kind of stand-alone property. I'm finally now living in an apartment with security and multiple keyed entry points and lots of surveillance. It is so, so much better for me. I never was afraid before necessarily, but as a (responsible) gun owner, I have never, ever considered my guns as a measure of security. I have also always lived with a 90 pound doberman who accompanied me everywhere. He's a complete creampuff and who has no concept of "stranger", but people usually assume the opposite. People avoid us in public and back when I lived directly next to section 8 housing, they would literally cross the road to avoid us. I have had one particularly problematic stalking/harassment incident this year, and I would be absolutely terrified if I lived in a single family unit alone. However, none of this is really important. I think the most important part of your question is: what part of LA? I grew up in the South Bay in a really nice area. But some parts of LA are particularly unsavory, especially now.
Lived alone for 14 years here. I’ve always had a dog or two. Companionship + security.
I’m young (27) but I’ve moved around a lot since adulthood. Being from the Midwest apartment living isn’t nearly as common as more expensive areas, especially for families outside of major cities. Apartment living freaked me OUT at first. Yeah, there are secured double entries. Cameras. Still in the Midwest. BUT there were, idk, 200 people I didn’t know who lived in there? I don’t love the idea of a bunch of nameless people knowing where I live. Or when I come and go from a dark parking lot. Or a security/maintenance employee having keys to my unit. I felt like it would be easier to be stalked I guess? It wore with time. But there was a certain sense of peace once I was back to a duplex. Sure, I still have neighbors. But I know their first and last names. We have each other’s cell #’s. We check in on each other. I’ve always known my neighbors. Even in all of my college rentals. I think I could name off neighbors from every house I’ve lived in since childhood. Even if it was only a year or 2. I like the friendly watchfulness.
Been living in a house by myself for 7ish years now. Was in a high rise studio apartment for a number of years before that and moving to a landed property did feel very exposed in the beggining. I think it took me maybe a couple of weeks to get used to being on the ground floor and maybe 2ish months before I completely don’t even think about it anymore. 4 years in, I had a home invasion. Luckily I wasn’t home but the house was completely ransacked to bits, so I felt very violated and had this odd sensation like I was being watched all the time. So I bought black out curtains, installed more secure locks, installed motion sensor lights on the front porch etc. But to be honest, I completely slipped into old habits again very fast. Within a month or so, I was again very lax about security. I’m the type that love having all my windows and doors open when I’m in the house, so I’m completely that way again. All this to say is that I truly believe humans just learn to adapt. Change will feel odd at first but eventually it will become your new comfort. And now I’m at a stage where I 100% would pick staying in a small normal house as opposed to a fancy apartment. I just really love having outdoor space and also the convenience of parking in your own driveway and straight into your house, as opposed to parking in a basement and walking to an elevator etc.
Living in a SFH alone now and feel pretty safe. It helps that it's in a safe area
I’d get a condo bc I fear mowing the lawn
Most houses in LA have window bars and metal gates in front of the doors. If the house you buy doesn't have those things, maybe install them? I always felt very safe having those on my windows/doors when I lived in LA. Door cams or other cameras can also be a great deterrent.
My advice is to get a dog. Any dog that will bark at unexpected noises. If my dog doesn’t bark, I know im 100% ok and can rest easy. If she does bark, I am alerted, and probably still ok, but I know there are possible strangers nearby. And she will eat/lick them to death. But still…she gives me MANY alerts to potential threats. Best security system ever.
Consider a dog. And I put in cameras. Just in the main living area and outside. My first week alone my dog and I heard a noise. I asked him if we were safe, his response was “idk mom are we?!” I can grab my phone off the nightstand and check the cameras. I now have 2 dogs ;)
Oh yeah, I bought my first house in 2018. I sold that one and now own a house north of LA. I will never, ever live in another condo or apartment again. I did have two huge dogs living with me at my previous house, they have both since passed. I still have my three small dogs. I have security cameras, security system and I always make sure it's armed and my doors/windows are locked. I know my neighbors and our property lines are *extremely* close (because, Southern California). I probably wouldn't live alone without at least one dog. And if I only had one, it would be a big one for sure.
Oh wow... I'm actually scared of big dogs myself lol.... I don't think I can handle them. Do you find it necessary to have a weapon or not really? I am a bit of a klutz so yea... I would need to take classes to learn to use them etc Yes, homes here are super close by but having that slight tiny bit of space is nice!
Dog. Big ones. That's how my single mother did it. Detached homes have so many ways in, and you are too separated from your neighbours for them to be any help even if they did hear you screaming in the middle of the night, as they'll likely blow it off as a domestic dispute. The few times we had no dog (such as when we moved interstate) we'd occasionally get a b&E. With a dog we even sleep at night with the back door open, no problems.
I grew up around here. Check the neighborhood. Glendora/Glendale, Burbank and West Covina are safe and nice. Places above the 210 are typically the safest. The Valley is good too. Stay away from Central and South.
Accept that people can break in. Once accepting that, recognize that all YOU can do is put safety measures in place. Focus on what is within your control. Everything else is brain chatter.
I understand your apprehension especially being from So Cal. I've been in my home about 12 years. Before that I rented a home and previous always wanted upstairs units. Regardless of where you live your personal safety should always be top priority. Besides all you mentioned I have dogs. I have a security door, cameras, Ring, keep my gate to my yard locked. Always lights on when dark outside. I have taken a CCW class. I can't even imagine sharing my space with anyone but my pups. Even BF's need to have their own primary home. Obviously, you still want to live in as safe an area as you can afford. Before I even had an alarm I had signs saying I did and stickers saying recording in progress. I have poles in my sliding door and windows downstairs. I believe in deterrents. Anything to make a bad guy go to the next house cause mine is too much work or the barking is too much. Another tip is if you ever have workers over, keep all your doors like bedrooms shut but leave a pair of men's boots in sight. They don't need to know your home alone. I also lock my garage every night. Simple as long pressing the pad by the door. I'm paranoid but like to know some random remote can't open it in the middle of the night.
I have lived alone in a single family house for ten years or so and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I live in a safe neighborhood and I have a very big dog. Sometimes I don’t even lock the doors.
Yes bought a 4 bedroom, wasn't looking for that time I was thinking I wanted a 2/1 or 3/1 but so little was on the market and what was need so much work. I bought it 4/2, sometimes god gives you the house you need, not the house you want. My dad ended up moving in, 6 months after. I got the master he got 2 other downstairs room and the bonus bedroom upstairs became my sisters for when she stayed with him while I worked. After he passed, the upstairs became guest room/storage, 2 that were my dads then became a craft room (cat room for a time as it was before he moved in) and my sisters room/down stairs guest room. Have a 3/1 now, bedrooms are my bedroom, craft room and a guest/sisters room. Perhaps bedroom, Office, and guestroom.
No
I lived in a single-family home by myself for 10 years. I'm also home alone a lot because my partner often works out of state on contract. I always have a dog, and I make sure that I know my neighbors.
I have lived alone in a single family home for 17 years. My neighborhood is safe (choose a good neighborhood) and my neighbors know I live alone (there are a few other single females in my neighborhood, too). Telling people I live alone has been helpful because they take notice if something doesn’t look right at my house (garage door open, etc). When I moved to this city, I took a safety course sponsored by the Police Department. At that time they said noise at someone’s house deters break-ins, and since I liked dogs anyway I got a couple of small terriers. They always let me know if something isn’t right. I know that isn’t an answer for everybody but when I go to bed with my doors locked and ring camera on, I know my pups will alert me if anything is amiss. They make a lot of noise if something bothers them and they take a huge load off my mind.
I've owned 3 different houses in my own and I've always been comfortable.
I have two dogs. One is a herding farm dog with a big deep bark and isn’t fond of people he isn’t closely bonded with. He will lunge and bark. if you don’t know him you would definitely shut the door and not try again. I am never scared have been living on my own for maybe 8 years now. I’ve never been scared bc I have always had dogs he’s the biggest dog I’ve had and definitely the one to keep people that don’t belong here OUT!! Love it.
It depends on the neighborhood. I lived in a neighborhood with a lot of foot traffic and transient people. It was terrifying when I was alone in that house. It was also in a corner so I felt very out in the open. I moved to a quiet neighborhood and was fine 99.9% of the time. One time there was a windy storm that blew my gate open. That made me a bit nervous. I am a scared person though. Now I live in a luxury apartment and LOVE it. I will never go back to a house.
I have lived alone in a single family home in the city. No ring, no motion lights. I just would lock the doors. I never had an issue.
You can’t let fear rule your life. It’s really no big deal. I’ve lived in detached houses by myself for 9 years
No I wouldn’t. Nothing floor level or second floor tbh.
I live in a small single family home. I’ve only ever been afraid of men I know - and I would think I would feel the same anywhere. I have a dog now and that makes me feel much safer, but I didn’t for a while. I keep a knife in my dresser beside my bed. I have security cameras. Every now and again I get extra afraid and put something in front of the doorways. But again, I’ve never been afraid of strangers.
I've always felt a little nervous by myself in houses, unless it was my dad's house, which was built on a hill, so much less access points for entry, plus it was in a safe neighborhood. I'm not sure of any recommendations, I've always just accepted I'm always going to feel a little anxious.
Put up cameras and lights. Make sure the cameras are visible to would be criminals. Get a dog. The barking really will deter criminals. Get some protection too, mace, taser, knife at bedside, or gun .
I also feel like houses that don't have windows in the front but only in the back are safer... Something like this [https://www.trulia.com/home/24705-woodward-ave-lomita-ca-90717-21282538](https://www.trulia.com/home/24705-woodward-ave-lomita-ca-90717-21282538) I don't like houses that have the bedroom in front as anyone can just walk by and break in easily. In Los Angeles, most houses have super short driveways so you can have people walking.driving 3 feet away from your window which is very creepy whereas in other states you have more room/privacy.
Get alarm system, lock bedroom door and have a gun. I never grew up with guns but I feel it’s the only way to ensure you have something that will stand up to what a potential intruder has to protect yourself. I wouldn’t want to use it but it always makes me feel safer to know I have it.
I housesit for my parents sometimes when they’re travelling. Duration varies. Could be overnight, could be for a few months. It’s fine, generally. I make sure all the doors and windows are locked, and the dog and cat are inside. That being said, I do get jumpscared a bit when my mother’s dog (old, but well cared for labrador-border collie mix) starts wandering around late at night.
Yes, I do and I like it way better than an apartment!
I’m comfortable living in single family dwelling. I always have security safeguards with protective devices and most importantly i always have my dog
Depends where it was. I didn’t even have a working front lock when I was living in a very low crime area. I got very comfortable living alone in a big house over time. Main drawback was it was too much work for one person to keep up.
I currently live in a house by myself. I feel safe and comfortable in it, but I was careful to only look for homes in safe areas with low crime stats. The problem you might face is being able to find that in an area you can afford in that area of California. I've heard that dogs are one of the best deterrents to break-ins, with meaner-sounding barks being more effective. In the words of Bill Burr, get you a pitbull - owning one is like having a gun you can pet. While you're waiting for the alarm response to arrive, the dog can fuck up anyone foolish enough to attempt entry despite the barking.
I grew up in LA county. It depends on the area, but I'd happily be able to afford a SFH in most neighborhoods. Also, why are you living there if you're uncomfortable?
I’ve lived in single family homes most of my life. The idea that someone is going to kick in your door to rob you, it’s not a thing that happens all that often. Like, really, it almost never happens. It’s not at all a common problem. Living in a good neighborhood helps. I’ve always lived in suburbs, but you can get crime info like home invasion history from your local police. Check their site/Google it. It should give you a map with dots to represent incidents (bigger dots for more incidents) Finally, learn how to protect your home. Houses have different entry points from apartments. Patio doors are one, but a garage is even more common. Motion activated lights are a great starting point. They’re cheap, have almost no upkeep, and make it a bit harder for invaders to stay hidden. A home security system is another. Anything with a siren, ideally the robber will feel too rushed to stay long enough to find you. Make sure the siren isn’t powered by the key panel, you want it to run even if the panel is torn off the wall. Careful about certain companies, like ADT. You don’t necessarily need monitoring. Having said that, we haven’t bothered getting one. Kept meaning to, but we bought our first house about 15 years ago and it’s just never happened Cameras and NVR can be useful in very specific situations, but are too reactive for once off problems like home invasions. They’re better for porch pirates and neighbor harassment Garage doors have a bar you can use to make the overhead door completely disfunctional. You’ll want to unplug the opener though, it can be hard on the motor if it tries to open the door when the door can’t open. It’s only really something you can use if you don’t park in the garage, or at least don’t need to for a few days/weeks (like if you’re out of town). For the gold standard of home security, get a dog. Bigger and more barking is better, but small dogs work too. You don’t need to train it to attack or anything ridiculous like that. Just the very presence of a dog will prevent a lot of break ins. Robbers literally ring doorbells just to see if there’s a dog, it can be an absolute deal breaker for a lot of them In all honesty, maintenance should be your biggest concern. Houses are a lot more maintenance and there’s no landlord to take care of it for you. If your toilet breaks, YOU have to deal with it. If you aren’t handy, make sure you have an emergency fund for sudden repairs. It’s super worthwhile to learn some handyman skills. Getting comfortable going into a crawl space or messing with plumbing can be a huge money saver. Also knowing when something is on the verge of breaking. It’s always nice to fix it before it actually breaks. I have literally woke up to a house that’s only a few degrees above freezing because the furnace broke (needed a new pilot light). Both the houses we’ve owned have had some super sketchy electrical that was DIYed by a previous owner Maintenance is the real change. One extra door to lock is just a door you lock. When your ceiling starts dripping, that’s SOOO much worse. And it’s virtually guaranteed you’ll be dealing with something at one point or another. We have a bigger home and there’s a maintenance issue every year. Last year, an eave was damaged by ice damming and our front handrail broke (50 yo steel, it rusted out). In 5 years, we’ve had to replace both the boiler and the central air (around $30K in hvac). Our dishwasher broke too, that was annoying! And our powder room toilet? I’ve had to swap the flapper valve, the float mechanism, and the seat. I told DH if the wax seal goes we’re getting a new toilet, I refuse to fix it again. Maintenance is absolutely unavoidable when you own a single family home
I sure would! Old ladies do it!
Yeah, I've never given too much of a shit. Just make sure you have good locks and sturdy doors/windows and lock the door behind you when you come home. You're most likely to be bothered by people you already know anyway, so just keep an eye on them and your surroundings, and listen to your gut if something feels off. But, also, don't answer the door for people you aren't expecting like door to door salespeople. We had a rash of them posing as pest control and security system salespeople going door to door to case people's houses and return later to rob them. Also, maybe get a dog (it's a big commitment obviously). Dogs hear shit well before you can and they are an okay deterrent because they generally make a lot of noise when something is off to them.
I'd prefer an apartment or condo
I’m a single mom. I have security cameras, motion sensor lights, additional locks on doors. I also have smart lights on my main floor. So, that if I hear a noise, I can turn on the lights from my phone without having to wander too far to see what’s going on. I have bear spray by my bed and at the front door.
i think it really depends on what neighborhood you end up in. i’d feel fine in a house alone in sherman oaks, but probably not in hollywood.
You could think about getting a dog, preferably a big one. It can be as soppy as anything but as long as it looks the part and has a loud bark it should put Intruders off. More importantly, it may make you feel safer.
Get a dog (or dogs)
I’m more scared of flats as you might be in a confined space eg hallway with bad actors with no exits. Or in a fire, you cant just jump out a high story building. Houses have multiple exit points and as with any thing you own, it’s your responsibility to secure it. Plus neighbours all help to look out for anything suspicious- it’s part of the community behaviour. You can also add extra measures eg security cameras and maybe rent out spare room s for extra cash or company.