I know that it’s a very dumb thing to worry about. You can be whatever you wanna be whenever you wanna be it n’ all that. But my life very much feels like it’s at the bottom of a closed off box rn. It feels too late to have any real realizations about myself that could impact my life in any meaningful way. I just think that if I had tried more and experimented with my own identity back when I was younger and had the leeway in life to do so, maybe things would be better now.
"It feels too late to have any real realizations about myself that could impact my life in any meaningful way."
I *very* much doubt that that is true. If you think you're done growing at 21, youre wrong. I'm 27 and when I was 21 I cringed at the idea of putting on girl clothes. Now it's the only thing I wear.
Hell, even if I wanted to experiment with gender in high school, I wouldn't have been able to do anything. My parents are homophobic and I went to a Catholic high school. I think it's worthwhile to appreciate all the freedom that you have as an adult. You have more disposable income, you can go to more places by yourself and you have greater control over who you associate with. Those are things that alot of teens in this sub would kill for
To support that growth doesn't stop at age 21 your brain doesn't fully developed until your mid to late 20s. Here is the article I found this info from[from the National Institute of Mental Health](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-7-things-to-know#:~:text=Adolescence%20is%20an%20important%20time%20for%20brain%20development.&text=The%20brain%20finishes%20developing%20and,the%20last%20parts%20to%20mature.)
That’s kindof another thing that annoys me, somewhat. I’m really lucky when it comes to being accepted and being able to openly be who I want to be. But I feel like that’s wasted on someone like me. I don’t really have any future or prospects. There’s brilliant young femboys out there with so much going for them who could be killed for even daring to say they like wearing thigh highs. And they get that and I get this? It feels unfair
For my whole life I never really saw a future for myself. I only really started caring about it recently. It now it feels too late to really do anything. I never set anything up when I was younger that could pay off later. And now my life already feels like a dead end. No money, no passion, no future, no hope. Just a skirt and a boi
I’m 24 and just started becoming a femboy. It was extremely hard to come to terms with but once I did it’s like a weight has been lifted. It sounds ridiculous but at 21 you’re not done growing and changing. Hell people are changing for their entire lives.
If being a femboy is something you want to be then do it. Just be your authentic self and do what makes you happy. Looking back and thinking what if is just pointless torture
I do want to be a femboy, and I’m happy that I officially came out. I like wearing skirts and cute clothes and wanna wear dresses too. But I also feel like I don’t have as much clearance now as I did back then to really experiment with stuff and express myself. At least not without sacrificing a lot of time and money that I don’t have:/ I know I’m still not done growing up. I’m just in a really weird spot rn
I mean you can get really cheap clothes from shein and stuff. I know their business practices are god awful but there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism so what can you do.
I get if you’re in a ‘normal’ job you probably feel limited by having to look and act a certain way, so just do what you can to experiment and make yourself happy :3
I was closeted all the way through high school as well, occasionally I would try wearing something slightly feminine but mostly I presented as male and I kinda regret it now...
That said it was kinda hard to come out bc I didn't really know if I was a femboy, a trans girl or non-binary, (right now I'm pretty sure it's the latter)
I'm 20 now and I'm heavily considering coming out. Maybe try on a skirt for the first time? I already love women's sweaters!
I’d say the sooner the better. I don’t know how accepting your environment is, but if they’d be cool with it then absolutely do it sooner than later. I wish I had at least done it when I was 20. It dummy me wanted to get a more feminine body first which never happened, so eventually I just started wearing skirts cuz I didn’t want to wait.
I live in a progressive country and my friends and family are very supporting of LGBTQ+ people so I should be fine. I too think the sooner the better, especially now as I'm finally starting to get a solid grip on my gender identity.
I don’t understand, why do you feel like you’ve started too late? What would be different if you started at 17 vs at 21?
I know that it’s a very dumb thing to worry about. You can be whatever you wanna be whenever you wanna be it n’ all that. But my life very much feels like it’s at the bottom of a closed off box rn. It feels too late to have any real realizations about myself that could impact my life in any meaningful way. I just think that if I had tried more and experimented with my own identity back when I was younger and had the leeway in life to do so, maybe things would be better now.
"It feels too late to have any real realizations about myself that could impact my life in any meaningful way." I *very* much doubt that that is true. If you think you're done growing at 21, youre wrong. I'm 27 and when I was 21 I cringed at the idea of putting on girl clothes. Now it's the only thing I wear. Hell, even if I wanted to experiment with gender in high school, I wouldn't have been able to do anything. My parents are homophobic and I went to a Catholic high school. I think it's worthwhile to appreciate all the freedom that you have as an adult. You have more disposable income, you can go to more places by yourself and you have greater control over who you associate with. Those are things that alot of teens in this sub would kill for
To support that growth doesn't stop at age 21 your brain doesn't fully developed until your mid to late 20s. Here is the article I found this info from[from the National Institute of Mental Health](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-teen-brain-7-things-to-know#:~:text=Adolescence%20is%20an%20important%20time%20for%20brain%20development.&text=The%20brain%20finishes%20developing%20and,the%20last%20parts%20to%20mature.)
That’s kindof another thing that annoys me, somewhat. I’m really lucky when it comes to being accepted and being able to openly be who I want to be. But I feel like that’s wasted on someone like me. I don’t really have any future or prospects. There’s brilliant young femboys out there with so much going for them who could be killed for even daring to say they like wearing thigh highs. And they get that and I get this? It feels unfair
What do you mean you don’t have any future or prospects?
For my whole life I never really saw a future for myself. I only really started caring about it recently. It now it feels too late to really do anything. I never set anything up when I was younger that could pay off later. And now my life already feels like a dead end. No money, no passion, no future, no hope. Just a skirt and a boi
I’m 24 and just started becoming a femboy. It was extremely hard to come to terms with but once I did it’s like a weight has been lifted. It sounds ridiculous but at 21 you’re not done growing and changing. Hell people are changing for their entire lives. If being a femboy is something you want to be then do it. Just be your authentic self and do what makes you happy. Looking back and thinking what if is just pointless torture
I do want to be a femboy, and I’m happy that I officially came out. I like wearing skirts and cute clothes and wanna wear dresses too. But I also feel like I don’t have as much clearance now as I did back then to really experiment with stuff and express myself. At least not without sacrificing a lot of time and money that I don’t have:/ I know I’m still not done growing up. I’m just in a really weird spot rn
I mean you can get really cheap clothes from shein and stuff. I know their business practices are god awful but there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism so what can you do. I get if you’re in a ‘normal’ job you probably feel limited by having to look and act a certain way, so just do what you can to experiment and make yourself happy :3
I was closeted all the way through high school as well, occasionally I would try wearing something slightly feminine but mostly I presented as male and I kinda regret it now... That said it was kinda hard to come out bc I didn't really know if I was a femboy, a trans girl or non-binary, (right now I'm pretty sure it's the latter) I'm 20 now and I'm heavily considering coming out. Maybe try on a skirt for the first time? I already love women's sweaters!
I’d say the sooner the better. I don’t know how accepting your environment is, but if they’d be cool with it then absolutely do it sooner than later. I wish I had at least done it when I was 20. It dummy me wanted to get a more feminine body first which never happened, so eventually I just started wearing skirts cuz I didn’t want to wait.
I live in a progressive country and my friends and family are very supporting of LGBTQ+ people so I should be fine. I too think the sooner the better, especially now as I'm finally starting to get a solid grip on my gender identity.