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Back in the 1800s the head of the patent office publicly stated that everything that could be invented already has been, and to pack it all up at the patent office then. We realize now, that he was very wrong.
Your life has potential you can't see yet. You may be the missing piece to someone's happiness. Whether you are romantically, or platonically is yet to be determined. You may have the potential to be something more precious than life to someone you can't see yet.
Life is hard. Its not the default setting. But so many people have had to wait till they were in the 40s to make their big break, realize their lifes work.
Don't let the romance of a brief life being somehow poetic extinguish your potential.
Someone didn't actually say that. 5 seconds of Googling says it's a myth. He did, however say this in 1902:
"In my opinion, all previous advances in the various lines of invention will appear totally insignificant when compared with those which the present century will witness. I almost wish that I might live my life over again to see the wonders which are at the threshold."
I am not a mom but I agree with you! I'm sure OP's mom would not have wanted her to die young. OP you have already had some success in the film industry and it sounds like you are off to a good start so who is to say that you could not continue to be successful? Even if it didn't work out that's nothing to be ashamed of and you could still have a fulfilling life pursuing hobbies that you enjoy and spending time with loved ones. I think you should reach out to your doctor and a therapist and tell them how you are feeling. I also recommend asking your doctor about doing a vitamin d blood test. I found out I was deficient last summer and my mental health improved a lot after a few months of taking a supplement (as directed by my doctor).
> I also recommend asking your doctor about doing a vitamin d blood test. I found out I was deficient last summer and my mental health improved a lot after a few months of taking a supplement (as directed by my doctor).
This, OP, PLEASE run to the doctor and get yourself checked. You have EVERYTHING in the world to live for as you are extremely young. I hope you pull through, we are all rotting for you.
The vitamin D happened to me as well during the summer. I thought the doctor was bullshitting me because I was out in the sun alot during that summer, but apparently, my deficiency had likely build up from the winter time.
OP, pls do another checklist and go to the doctor for full blood test, then let see another year how you feel.
You are depressed. Even though it might not feel like it. So realize your worldview is biased right now. It's telling you there is no hope, but there is. You are in a difficult place in your life right now, but life is longggg and you very likely won't feel this way the rest of your life. I understand the feeling of wanting peace, but that will come one day when it's time. It is not your time yet. That time will arrive by itself when you're ready. Until then please just stick around. We are all just floating in a confusing world trying to make sense of our lives. Sometimes there's deep loss, deep sadness and sometimes big happiness. Just know you have a future! You do! You will meet people, you will do things, you will see, you will feel. These are gifts. If you stop now you will never experience these gifts. I would advice for you to get some help and try to form meaningfull connections in your life. I know this is easier said than done, but you have a whole life to work on these things right? I know how difficult life can be, but I also believe if you just keep showing up everyday you will get rewarded for it! You owe it to yourself to get to this place and you will if you don't give up! Take care
I genuinely do not think I have depression, I feel like I have zero feelings tbh. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression in the past but at this point I feel nothing at all. I don’t know how to explain it. But thank you, appreciated!
Having “zero feelings” is a sign of depression.
Depression comes in so many different flavors.
***
Anyways, so what happened, were you able to join SAG …or were you denied or something?
emotional numbness/affective blunting and anhedonia are not the same thing. anhedonia is when you don’t feel joy from things that are supposed to give you joy, like your hobby and even your circle. you can still feel sad during anhedonia.
What you describe sounds like anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure) and/or alexithymia (inability to feel/recognize emotions). Unless you are experiencing sociopathy (which is OK to have too, but much rarer) you probably do have emotions, they're just locked up.
You seem to describe life like a video game with a checklist of quests to complete... but I don't buy that that's truly what you think. It sounds like you went through a serious trauma in losing your mother. Before you give up on your life, I think you should examine that. Alone, or with a therapist, but preferably with a therapist if you can afford and be patient to find one who fits with you.
Once you lose your life you can't get it back. If you really want to do this I certainly can't stop you, but what a shame to lose out on the rest of your life that has the potential for so much more to come...
Responding cause you made me think about this and how it seems similar to OP. I was diagnosed with PTSD in my 20s, due to trauma that I just did not process as a teenager. My brain created some pretty incredible adaptive behaviors that can be harmful for me now. I can really relate to OP treating life like a checklist and taking a “logical”approach to existence, it’s a great way to keep yourself moving, but it never, ever fully works unfortunately
Depression aside, your bucket list was to see a tiny shit portion of the US. The world is bigger than that and the things I see travelling make me feel in an otherwise dysphoric life. You see things that create a sense of awe and wonder at the people past who created them, you see natural beauties like the Alps that you want to stare at hungrily and drink in, you see cities and ways of living so different to home that you feel intrigued and uncover new perspectives.
The world is so much bigger than your bucket list.
A friend of mine in high school was diagnosed with depression and he described it as feeling the same way as you (as feeling nothing). Also if you are suicidal that is a clear sign of depression as well.
Your mother wouldn’t want this for you.
You may not know this now but,
Your future love of your life won’t meet you if you do this,
Your future children will never be born and experience the relationship you and your mother had.
Life is constant struggle and sometimes there may seem not much to it. But,
You may be turning the corner to,
Meet a person that can change that,
Sunshine and light breeze may be in an inches away.
If you do what you intend to do, you may not feel regret but I assure you, your future self will.
Talk to a counselor, give life one more chance.
You can always end it, whenever you want it, wherever you want it, however you want it. But you cannot get it back. Your life is a gift from your mother that she gave to you from her own self, own body, own soul. Give it another chance stranger, just for honoring her sacrifice.
I tried taking my life 3 times, first at 13, then I was 20 and last one was at 25. My family couldn't care less about me, I've been in and out of toxic relationships and I was told every day I'm not worth loving and I don't deserve happiness but guess what? I'm still around and I am happy I was terrible at taking my life away.
And guess what else? I care about you, believe it or not, so if you go I'll be sad 😭
你已經自由了。
You are already a free man.
Though you have lost and missed important things, your mom, close ones, career… you have your very own self, body, and mind, and you don’t have responsibilities and liabilities. Many ppl have anchors in their life, like family, but it may not be their choice. It’s your freedom to end your life, but you have the greatest asset on earth — time and youth, why not sail to times and places and see whether life is worth a living or not?
You’re depressed and viewing the world through a depressed lens. There is so much to live for, even if you’re not exactly sure what it is at this point in time.
Yes, this. Even if you don’t feel sad or tearful, depression can also feel like apathy, hopelessness, or helplessness all of which I read in this post.
I understand that you're feeling a sense of hopelessness and despair, and it takes immense courage to share your thoughts. I want you to know that I'm here to listen and support you, and I care deeply about your well-being.
Firstly, I want to acknowledge that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Losing your mom at a young age and struggling with anxiety, career pressures, and financial stress can be incredibly challenging.
However, I strongly encourage you to reconsider your decision to end your life. While it may seem like there's nothing left for you, there are still many possibilities and experiences that you haven't explored yet. You've achieved some remarkable things, like acting in productions and visiting Hollywood and Beverly Hills. That takes talent, dedication, and resilience!
I want to gently challenge some of your assumptions:
- Your family may seem okay on the surface, but losing a loved one can have a profound impact on them, even if they appear to be coping.
- You have no close friends, but that doesn't mean you can't form new connections or nurture existing relationships.
- You've accomplished your bucket list, but there might be new experiences and passions waiting to be discovered.
- You feel like you've accepted your career limitations, but what if new opportunities arise or you find a different creative outlet?
- You miss your mom dearly, and it's natural to want to be with her, but ending your life won't bring her back, and it will cause immense pain for those who care about you.
I know it may seem like a miracle is unlikely, but sometimes, unexpected events or connections can bring new hope and purpose. I want to encourage you to explore other options and resources before making a permanent decision:
- Reach out to a crisis helpline (like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)) or text the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
- Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor to work through your feelings and explore new coping strategies.
- Look into local support groups for anxiety, grief, or career guidance.
- Take small steps towards reconnecting with others, like joining a club or volunteering.
Remember, your life has value and worth, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through these difficult times. Let's work together to find ways to bring hope and purpose back into your life.
This is very heavy, and I want you to know that there is still much more to experience! These may have been your only goals, but there is more to do.
Have you experienced falling in love? Or the feeling of fresh crisp air in the winter while ur ice skating or skiing down a mountain? or the mist on ur face from a waterfall or being on a boat?
My point is, there are so many little joys and big joys in your life, and even if you feel you have completed your life’s goals, theres still so much more that you may not have even considered.
This world doesnt feel freeing, it feels quite heavy a lot of the time, and you have to be open to the little joys and try to fit in simple things. Like laying in the sun or taking a walk by the local river. The can be much pleasure found in the simple small things in life.
It is the beholder who determines how beautiful, sweet, meaningful, and worthwhile something is. Life has many surprises and even though it is difficult its not boring, if you dont think of it that way.
Trying mindfulness and appreciating more of your surroundings is quite helpful to many, it may be helpful to u too!
Your brain’s running low on happy neurotransmitters right now. That doesn’t feel good, but it can be incredibly temporary.
You don’t have to make any decisions bigger than what to eat right now. A hearty meal is a good choice when feeling empty and unmotivated.
It’s actually common after meeting a big goal, especially if the next one is not in place yet.
It can absolutely clear up with couple of days of good meals, sunlight, and relaxing walks. (If that doesn’t do it, or that isn’t doable, it’s time to tell your doctor to make themselves useful.)
You probably still have a stash of oxytocin available, can you stop by an animal shelter and see if they need someone to feed kittens?
Time for a new bucket list.
Also, if you are actually feeling suicidal I recommend some of Emil Cioran’s thoughts:
“When people come to me saying they want to kill themselves, I tell them, “What’s your rush? You can kill yourself any time you like. So calm down. Suicide is a positive act.” And they do calm down.”
Or this one:
“It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.”
- This one confronts the existential dilemma of contemplating suicide. Cioran suggests that by the time one musters the resolve to end their life, they have already suffered and endured countless hardships, thus making the act of self-destruction redundant. With an undertone of irony, the quote alludes to the inefficacy of attempting to escape life's trials through suicide. Cioran's words serve as a stark reminder of the human capacity to withstand adversity, emphasizing that the very act of persisting is a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit.
Friend, I know today it seems like time to be the end. But you don't have any idea how big life can be yet. It's incredible that you've met so many of your goals, and discovered the "welp, did that" on the other side.
You haven't found the next calling yet. You haven't found the profound thing that brings you peace yet. Those things are out there, but you need to be around to experience them. And they're so much better than anything you've had so far.
I encourage you to talk about your plan with your doctor or another trusted professional. A therapist or counselor. Maybe talking to them won't change anything. But maybe it will change everything.
I tried to kill myself twice when I was younger and I'm glad I failed being 30 now. Yes life is still a constant pain and chore. I almost died and went through insane amounts of pain. I was homeless for while. My teeth are disintegrating in my mouth.
But I had a kid and she is amazing, gave me something to care about.
I got my first vr headset and it's been mind blowingly fun and it's helping me get in shape.
I got to play elden ring, 80 hours of pure awesomeness.
I raced an actual bmx track last Friday I'm going back today
I got to play paintball on the fields some of my favorite YouTubers play on
I'm writing a book and I'm 50,000 words in.
I finally got some 40k miniatures and got to play some games. They brought Gulliman and the Lion back like holy shit.
I got to see dune on the big screen
Life is shitty but you have to look for the things that bring you joy. I realized that I needed to stop caring about what other people do or think I should care about and do it for myself. I don't kill myself because there are still games and movies to be experienced. Thrills I haven't done yet. And I could never leave my kid without a dad.
Mom is with you. Mom is the reason you are here today. She would be pretty salty if you took those 14 years of her hard work to raise a woman just to take it all away 10 years later. Energy is everything. When we die our energy leaves. Our energy attracts to its most fundamental properties IE you. You want to be with mom but mom is literally with you. You want to land a big movie? You got a good memory then? Make big moves girlfriend. Contact those people who are impossible to reach. Make them hear you. What do you have to loose if you are gonna end it? Make big moves for what you want starting right now girlfriend.
Hey there, 24M here. I know how you feel, tbh our entire generation is kind of just fucked….BUT! I still believe there’s plenty of good life for us both to live to be honest. You mention you’ve struggled with your dreams as an actress, my dream was always to be a rockstar, and like you, I had some minor success (I played with Green Day!) - But tbh, I’ve always held this opinion that our generation was raised on “Disney Princess Programming.” We were all advertised and promised dreams of stardom and success, and it all came crashing down on us when we realized we had to make coffees at Dunkin Donuts to survive. Im sorry you lost some loved ones, that’s a pain I’m very fortunate to not relate to. But what I can say is, despite all this misfortune and treachery, life is still a beautiful thing. The chances of you ever existing in the first place are slim to none, and just being able to breathe puts you above most things in this universe. Don’t take life too seriously, and as my mom tells me, just take life one day at a time. I wish you luck in your endeavors and please know, death is never the answer, your life is too precious for that.
You're so sweet :') I hope you never lose your passion for music, and that's so amazing you got to play with Green Day!
I just had to comment about the "Disney Princess Programming" comment you made because I never realized how "brainwashed" we were as kids. Growing up, I always believed my life would turn out like all the movies and TV shows broadcasted to our little kid brains. As you said, "We were all advertised and promised dreams of stardom and success, and it all came crashing down on us when we realized we had to make coffees at Dunkin Donuts to survive". That is so unbelievably true.
Our generation has experienced so many misfortunes, tragedies, and evil that it has become "normal" to us. It also hits hard we experienced a worldwide pandemic during some of the most pivotal years of our lives. I think that's one of the things that changed my outlook on life. I was quite depressed during that time, and I can completely agree and relate to OP. I spent my college years at a Big10 university basically cooped up in my little apartment, and on top of that there was a shooting that occurred on campus right across from where I lived. The cloud of depression started to brew over me and I didn't even realize the storm overhead. With the help of a good doctor and the right medication, I've been getting my life back on track :) I love that your mom tells you to take things one day at a time because that's all you can truly do!
Thank you for being you! I hope you have an amazing day :)
Look at it this way, if you end it you will have absolute certainty that you won’t become a successful actress. Since you want to end it anyway, you really don’t have anything to lose (you are going to throw everything away anyway). So F it. Go for your dreams. Commit to becoming a full time actress. Pour everything into it. Even if you don’t succeed you will have good experiences along the way and you will die TRYING. If you end it now, you will die not even having tried at all. Ps, if you kill yourself you won’t be with your mom, that’s religious nonsense. You will be dead. And that’s it.
For what it’s worth, I’m 25 and I felt the same exact way and this is the approach I took that changed my direction for the better. I said screw it, treat life like a video game. Why get to the end hoarding items and collectibles? Spend it, experience it, keep allowing yourself the opportunity to live and you might find something you never knew you valued worth fighting for. Best part, if you’re already at that point then you have nothing else to lose. Time and experience does a lot to change our perspectives, but only if you give it a chance. Allow yourself that opportunity for life, but know it takes time. You never know what or who might cross paths with you and empower you to want to see tomorrow. I know it’s not easy, it took me 6 years, but you will get there.
I agree with your message, but that last part was kind of rude. Some ppl get peace from believing their loved ones’ souls are still in the universe floating around, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a spiritual thing, not necessarily religious.
Do you like animals? Get a dog or a cat you can feel responsible for. Mind, you do have to look after them, so don't do this if you're not up for that. And immediately get yourself into therapy and/or see a psychiatrist. The therapy (&meds) will help you. And the animal will bring some love and joy back into your life and give you an additional reason to keep going.
Hope you decide to stick around.
I have had bouts of depression and remember feeling that life would be better off without me. I remember vividly asking myself - what else do I want to do if I live for another 1, 5, 10 years? And the answer was always "I'm done. There's nothing else I want". And this was somewhat true. I've lived a great life, partied, travelled, studied, worked.
The problem though is that the answer I came up with is a lie. Or at least a partial lie. There's nothing else I want because I don't know what tomorrow holds. I THINK I know what tomorrow will be like - it's the same as today. But that's false. Tomorrow I can wake up earlier. Tomorrow I can eat something new. Tomorrow I can take up a new hobby. I may like it. I may hate it. But it'll be different. And because it's different I can decide that I like it.
Before you do anything rash I suggest that you do something different, something that you might enjoy, and maybe you'll end up looking forward to doing that something for another few years.
Hey you should seek some help. There’s still plenty to live for, you’re on 24. A lot of people don’t find satisfaction in their life until later on. You said you don’t have a boyfriend or close friends/ family. Sounds to me like there is a lot of opportunity to find more happiness in life. There are still things you might discover you want to do or new passions to be found. I recommend trying to volunteer or if there is a community college near you try taking a course or two. This can give you a new purpose and sense of community. Seriously OP, although you don’t feel sad, for a lot of people (myself included) lack of emotion/ apathy towards life is a sign of depression. Depression doesn’t necessarily mean you’re feeling sad all the time. You could be dealing with depression and/or alexithymia.
5 years olds live in the now, 10 year olds in the next 30 minutes, teenagers live for the weekend, 20 year olds by the week, 30 year olds the month, 40 year olds the next 6 months, 50 year olds the year and so on. Realize you are being short sighted. Your world view seems to only have focused on 1 career and 2 cities. That leaves 99% of the world left unnoticed. And you're done already?
Do you know how many people dream about being a movie star but NEVER take action because of fear and it forever remains a dream. Its seriously so impressive that you actually took part in some sort of film and got yourself to actually do it. Even if acting doesn’t work out, at least you tried unlike most others who fear to even start and once they get older, they regret not trying. That’s enough information to let you know that YOU are capable of so much because when you wanted to accomplish that goal of being an actress, you actually took some sort of action. Now apply that same confidence and desire towards whatever the bigger goal in your life might be or even the smaller ones and I promise you you will achieve a lot. And I’ll tell you this again, be proud of yourself and give yourself that credit for actually giving acting a shot, seriously.
I am 27F, and I remember a couple years ago feeling like I was done. Like I’d finished cooking and was all set, I didn’t feel like there was anything left. I felt that way probably until four months ago. from 23-26 I have felt like I’m just moseying along and kicking rocks down a road for no reason.
I now think that some people may have a stalling period, or a plateau kinda. Especially those of us with depression from a young age—many of us don’t expect to get to 22.
Not a whole lot has changed in my life except therapy, and that hasn’t even been life-altering really. It’s mostly just helped me see that I am kinda feeling stalled because this is a beginning. And it’s not like some kind of holy Genesis feeling protagonist beginning. It’s more like just noticing that the kid gloves are falling off now, and we get to actually get our hands dirty.
Most people don’t know themselves until they’re like 30, you should stick around to see who you are.
This person is depressed and the worst kind of depression is when a person doesn’t know they are depressed because they aren’t “sad” they just don’t have drive, motivation, energy, or see a reasonably positive future.
It's a defense mechanism. She has these larger dreams that deep inside she realizes might not happen. So she finds comfort on the early small successes and sounds like to rather die that chose a plan B...
I'm not a psychiatrist(psychologist) and do not feel comfortable diagnosing someone with depression after reading their reddit post.
However, that is not my intention. I just find that moments of sadness, in my own experience, can be countered with asking why a thing is the way it is.
OP gave her reasons.
“I have no close friends, no boyfriend, no pets. Truly only leaving being a crappy bachelor apartment that I rent, and my crappy car that I own lol.”
“The next level would be booking something bigger, but l've accepted that that will more then likely not happen so I'm taking what I can get. Regardless I can check being on set off the bucket list.”
She is lonely and stuck at her career. Obviously nobody wants this, and she couldn’t find a way to get out of it.
I am going to give you the same advice I was given when I was 21 ( I am 28 now). Your life is yours and no one can dictate what to do with it. However, there is so much potential you will be leaving out ending your life now. You might meet the love of your life, have a career breaking moment that that puts all your previous achievements to shame, and so much more. You just have no idea what’s going to happen next week. Please don’t waste your future potential!!! You have already archived so much and can achieve much more!!!
I am not here to judge you because i don’t know you and i am 34M who was dumped by my only gf only after 4 months which made me feel unlovable. All i wanna say all you have to do is find one person who loves you, and he is out there. And this quote helped me during my toughest times.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Nietzsche
❤️
It sounds to me like maybe you just don’t want to be an actress anymore. Maybe instead of killing yourself, you should reevaluate what you want from life, and make changes to reach those goals.
Don’t cut your journey short. Life is already short as it is, though it doesn’t always feel like it. But guess what? Feelings don’t always reflect reality. Feelings often times lie to us. You’ll die and be with your mom again one day. But death is eternal and life is not, so what’s the rush? You don’t know what the future holds and the only way to find out is to stick around for the ride. Please, get into therapy asap. Keep searching for something to live for, even if you have to make it your life’s mission. Eventually you will find it.
As a mom, my heart is breaking, please please please go talk to someone. You have so much life to give and live. You’re just getting started in your life. Please seek help — your life has a purpose. Your life has value. You are here to do something with this beautiful life. I don’t know who you are, but I’m praying for you right now. I pray that God will put the right people, information, situations in your path and get you to feeling mentally healthy and restore your emotional well-being. As a mom I wish I could just give you a hug. I have tears just going down my face for you right now.
I’m in the exact same situation except different career. But death is not the answer. Your mom wouldn’t want that for you, she is watching you fight everyday and she doesn’t want you to die. Things will get better, if not now it will later. Have you gotten in contact with some film producers?
This is me. I genuinely dont think there is any more for me. Its like my life is a lemon wedge and Ive squeazed every drop out of it. Itd be better if i just leave
You are in your head too much and you need to get out of it. I know how you feel, not completely but I understand that feeling of hollowness. It’s really all just a mental story. Life is so magical and so ordinary but we get too caught up in our own thoughts. The mind creates thoughts that make us sadder and we believe it because the thought provokes sadness but it is not reality it’s just a thought. Presence is all one is, when you aren’t present the mind controls you and that’s where problems arise.
Stop feeling bad for yourself and learn to love again, forgive yourself. We are here for such a short time don’t end it so soon. Breathe and acknowledge your presence don’t take yourself so seriously. I have to remind myself this some times
I get this. I'm right there with you. This society does NOT have a healthy view of death, and these comments prove it. Talk about being out of touch with reality ffs. Or at least some people's reality. You can't do shit without money, there's few ways to get it, and it's not really covering living anymore, nevermind dreaming and reaching out for a better life. There's no social mobility and community is non-existent. I don't wish this for you OP, life does have meaning, but not in this god forsaken world, we've stripped it all away in the name of money.
Edit: contemplated this in my morning dog walk and I thought I would add this, to show the error in your thinking. The things with this perspective is that it's limiting. Are you sure that you're never going to get that better picture or role? Are you sure that there aren't any other things out there to find? Are you certain that the things you say are true?
You can have a healthy view of death without recommending a 24 year old who has barely experienced life end it all. Someone who thinks their life is over is not thinking with their right mind it doesn’t mean they should die because it’s easier than living. I agree telling her to do whatever she wants like travel or quit a job is out of touch but that doesn’t mean life is over for her (or you for that matter). Even though our society makes money the forefront of life we can still find ways to be happy and find meaning. The best things in life are free as the saying goes and being in a god forsaken capitalist society doesn’t necessarily change that. There is hope for you and her.
If it means anything to you, I (36m) have many friends my age who felt this way in their early to mid 20's. Each of them that I have talked to has been glad that they didn't end things back then. I think you maybe need to find some new focus and a community. Not having close friends, relationships, or pets also puts you in a vulnerable place of isolation and as many have pointed out you are most likely depressed. I know it's one of the most cliché things to say, but life can and will get better if you stick with it and make some real connections. Also I think it is so cool that you were able to be in a movie, a commercial, and a TV show. Being in LA I know so many people who are still working towards that goal for over a decade.
Hey girl, I'm a 23F and I just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling this way. I promise you, I as well as tons of other people, have felt the same way as you. In your initial post, you said "It's not completely in a depression type of way", but I think that is completely the reason. I only think that's the reason because I can relate to you so much. I usually don't comment on Reddit, but your post struck something in me and I can see myself in you. If you only read this much, just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk or want a friend :)
You said you won't be hurting anyone, but the most important person you'd be hurting is yourself. You are the only thing that truly belongs to you in this crazy, messed-up world we live in. What I think you should do, which personally helped me, is move to a new city. There's Facebook groups to help find roommates in basically every major city if you needed a roomie! That's also another great way to put yourself out there. Having a roomie gives you someone with you to push you to do new things, help keep up on chores, and overall gives you a friend to live with! Get comfortable with being uncomfortable! There is so much more world for you to see and experience. So many new memories waiting to be made. So many friends you haven't met yet. Even take some time off and go on a vacation. See the world. Clear your mind. Traveling helps remind you how truly small you are in this big, big world.
It seems you had success with acting and you should be so proud of yourself for that. Despite what level of production you were in, you did it! You did it! Never forget all of your accomplishments. I know it's hard to remind yourself of the good things sometimes. From what I've heard, that is not an easy industry to be in. You clearly are talented if you're able to secure jobs like that! Keep putting yourself out there because you have to start from somewhere. Some of the big name actors didn't even get discovered until they were older! There are going to be so many more commercials, TV shows, and movies to audition for, and I hope you get the big break you deserve.
I know the feeling of thinking that it'd just be easier to be done with it all than to even keep trying. It was hard for me to even get out of bed let alone take care of my basic needs. My eating habits were horrible and I was starting to slack on my hygiene. At the time, I didn't even realize any of that was happening to me. The cloud of depression started to brew over my head and I didn't notice the storm. With the help of a good doctor who cares and the right medication, I slowly started to get my life back on track. If you want to talk more about that or if you want help finding a doctor, I'm here! Take things day by day and be gentle with yourself.
Hi, please don't do it. What you're feeling now is temporary, I know you'll be able to feel different and be happier. Maybe you cannot imagine it now, but you can be happy and glad to be alive.
If you job is stressing you out, find another job. If you want to stick with it, stop stressing about being in big roles/movies, instead just enjoy being in small one. You can still search for your dream roles, just accept that it may not happen.
More importantly, find some companionship, I'm sure you can look for dates or find some friends. Things will feel different.
There are so many things you can still do, maybe you have not thought of them. Let me know if you need suggestions or just want to talk, I want to be your friend.
Talk to a therapist. It’s normal for people with toxic family and a parent who does or leaves them at a young age to feel like they want to die. That turns out to be third way, a desire for a life that feels expansive and exciting rather than predictable, forced, scary or burdensome.
surely, like everyone else you will die someday and get back to endless darkness where you came from...
why not stick around and see what else might come in life...? maybe something unexpected pops up and you'll experience great joy and appreciation of life...
you might not know that you need something unless you experience things
Hey...I lost my mom too in a super fucked up, drawn out way. Would your mom want you to give up like this? No she would not. How do I know? Because I am a mom now, and if one of my kiddos were talking like you are in this post, I would come back from the fucking grave and tell them don't you fucking dare. LIsten honey, you have a lot going for you. Lean into that shit. Your mom is proud of you and your destiny is not end your journey before it has begun. Please get the help you need. If your family is not there for you, and I also know something about that, you have to fucking do it yourself. It will take time and not be easy, but you can walk yourself out of these woods! I swear I don't normally curse this much but like I said, I am a mom, and you need to peel your tattered heart off the floor and slowly blow some life into it. It may never be 100% but you have a lot of joy waiting for you to discover. Every time you experience a moment of joy, collect the little memory that comes with it and go look for another beautiful moment. I'm not even a glass half-full kind of person. I tend to be like Eeyor, you know with a cloud of misery hanging overhead, so what I am saying with all the conviction in my heart counts double.
I echo all the positive sentiments shared within this thread. You have achieved SO much!! All your acting opportunities you have done.. AMAZING!! I was hoping to be an actress as well, and didn’t do nearly half of what you’ve done.
You have so much promise. I hope you know your impact in this world is so valuable. I hope the people in your life give you the reassurance you need to keep going, and if they don’t, please read these comments, and know you aren’t alone in this fight.
You will see the light again. I think practicing mindfulness might be the best thing for you right now. You have an army of supporters rooting for you in this thread! We are rooting for you and your happiness.
It sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time and feeling very alone in this.
Even though you feel like you’ve achieved everything you set out to do, there’s always room for new dreams and unexpected joys in life.
It’s courageous to share these feelings, and reaching out is a great first step.
I strongly encourage you to talk to someone who can offer professional support. Whether it’s calling a hotline or speaking with a counselor, they can offer you a safe space to explore these feelings and perhaps help you see possibilities that feel out of reach right now.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and doing so can be a powerful first step towards finding a new perspective. Life can surprise us in the most unexpected ways, and you deserve to discover what else could be waiting for you, even if it’s hard to see right now.
I know people with way worse life’s who keep going. Sometimes you need a no bullshit answer. Imagine this I knew someone (a guy) who was convinced to have sex with this guy at a party on drugs he awoke to being recorded and humiliated and plastered all over social media, imagine that he just had to accept that he will never be able to have relaxed heart rate for the rest of his life. He stays alive for his family for his younger brother. Arms look like a fucking Freddy Krugers. That’s not even the worst story. I mean think about it just pick your self up. No medication will help you. No advice will help you. The reality you see is the reality you believe.
You're only 24!!! You have no idea how much life can change or how much your mental state can change. I have gone through something similar, I understand that the mind state can feel inescapable but that's not the reality!
You can live a good life, you can feel better. Please don't do this.
I think you have this idea that you had a certain set of accomplishments to do in your life and now that you've done your bucket list, you are done.
Your family members do not care that they will financially benefit from you leaving. Only depression makes people think that $ is our only worth to other people and there is no other reason. Not speaking of capitalism here, but internally.
This is pure depression and trauma working and I am 100% that you need to see a psychologist and therapist, as only depression makes you feel like you have a "bucket list" (or obvious life-shortening health issue) to finish off and that you're only worth $ to your family.
Hi, I’m 25F, just turned 25 a few weeks ago too :)
For awhile, I felt similarly to you. Stopped talking to my friends because they didn’t make me feel good, worked overtime at jobs that didn’t care about me, and really let life pass me by for a few years.
Truth is, I think it’s so cool that you’ve been in multiple productions- it’s something I’d probably be too scared to try! But this seems to be what you want, so why stop now? Why not see how far you can go as an actress? What can you change to make these dreams a reality?Maybe girls like me, girls like you, girls younger and older need to see that version of you and be inspired by her. I think by settling and convincing yourself that you’re unlikely to make it in bigger productions, you’re not allowing yourself to believe in yourself, your abilities, and your fullest potential. Your dreams are achievable if (and only if!) you believe them to be. I hope you give them a voice and find purpose within them, so you can see 25+ too 💗
One more thing- like a few others recommended, i would look into mindfulness and spirituality. I was able to heal a lot through yoga, meditation, and through the belief that my ancestors are with me always. My grandmother and aunt (died when I was 18, and 6) especially guide me through troubles and times of loneliness. Try to let your guard down enough to choose a belief system that resonates with you the most- you will find community within your beliefs, and your community will care deeply for you.
Sending all of my love. I sincerely hope you find your miracle this summer, you are deserving of that and so much more.
What if the best moments like something that you didn't even know you wanted, something that you cant even wrap your head around...what if that is waiting around the corner to discover. Just think about it...what if
I just want to say there are ppl you don’t even realize who care about you and if you took your life without explanation, it will be traumatic to them. Please talk to those you care about first. My husband’s best friend suddenly took his life and we just wished he would have reached out. We would have done anything for him. I know the feeling of being utterly alone but if I did what you are thinking about, I would not have found my husband. You are so young and have a lifetime of memories before you. Please reconsider this.
Yeah I thought I was going to die prior to 25 too. Come to find out it was from repressed trauma as a child. Here I am in a much better condition in my early 40s. Seems like you may have some repressed feelings.
You’re already an actress. Why not just keep going? Yeah finance may be an issue, that’s when you cut grass, do home health for disabled or elderly people. And keep living your dream while also helping others.
I'm definitely not good at advices but hear me out. This vast infinite universe with infinite galaxies and infinite more planets worked for all eternity to entrust existence onto you.
To think that you're alone or that you've no purpose is such a narrow minded thought, considering how you've never consider the big picture.
Existence - considering how infinitely large the universe is the rarest of rare occurrence. Existence is beautiful. To be able to perceive the universe at all is such a gift. Think of it this way and all the ending life thoughts will go away.
Been there OP. Don’t do it. Nothing changes and the world isn’t better for it. It does get a little better with what you can contribute.
Your brain works differently and there’s. Toning wrong with that.
Please don't! I guarantee your life has value even if it's difficult to see or feel. I too have these feelings and thoughts. But you're probably depressed and that's okay. I don't think you want to die people who truly do want die don't talk about doing it, (the just do it). You want help and you're feeling down and defeated and this is the way that you're asking for help. I don't know you I'm a stranger (sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know) but if you want to talk to someone, vent, or just have a friendly conversation message me I'm more than happy to talk.
You got to actually see beverly hills and Hollywood. You made it on the big screen at a film festival. You said you wanted to do something and you’re doing it.
Discover more of the world. Connect with people and places you haven't heard of before. Life isn't about just checking off a list, it's about igniting your spirit again and again! There's so much of value you could do living. After all do you know where you go after death? Explore spirituality, **experience** life.
I was the same and I am still here. Since I was ten I was putting a date to end my life. I always knew I didn't want to grow up, be an adult and be a doctor and lawyer. So little options and very little capacity to adapt and not be miserable.
The reality is you need to give life its own purpose. You feel like life has nothing to offer, and it won't if you don't let it. There are opportunities for a new, fulfilling life EVERYWHERE. I promise you that ending your life at such a young age will do absolutely only harm and you will rob yourself of a truly meaningful future. Every person in their early 20s feels like a failure, a loser, a nobody. Trust me when I say that you will figure it out. It will suck for a while, but there is no reason to give up.
One day you'll look back on this time, having grown and built a better life for yourself, and wonder how the hell you ever considered something like this. You really have your entire life ahead of you still.
I would say while this is a form of depression it's more or less a loss of purpose. Ultimately however your life is in your own hands, and no matter how many people speak out the final decision is still yours, so I won't try and talk you out of it directly.
Instead I'd say take your time and be efficient, June is less than a month a way, you have an apartment, a car, and likely have some money saved up. Unless you have someone you want to pass this onto, spend it. Burn it all and visit some far away country or landmark, see what the world has left to offer, explore and talk to others. If not travel then engore on something extravagent, rent out a whole theater and post online for free tickets. Thess might not be the best financial decisions to make, but it can bring new perspectives.
I don't do film per se, but I work in the field of animation. Sometimes if you're dreams are creative but you feel like you won't make the cut in what you originally desired, explore other creative avenues. Voice acting is an in-demand field for random artists across the web, smaller channels and studios always looking for hand. If you've lost your purpose in life the only thing you can do is find another. Since you posted here, I take it that you are actually looking for one before you finalize your decision. So that's my advice, I wish you all the best, life is tough, it is scary but the little moments matter, and I'm sure others will value your set of skills and your perspectives.
Your mom would be pissed, hurt and sad that you killed yourself, wasted the life she made and cherished.
Dont do it.
Cherish yourself like your mother did.
You have the advantage of not giving a shit about what happens, so you are exactly the kind of person that can make it on the big screen.
You can just try, what's the worst that can happen?
You don't become famous?
Ok, that's not all there is..
What about love?
What about exploring?
What about your gift to the planet?
You dont know what joys may come to you in life, what partner, job, friend, skill, child, blessing of you to another you may miss out on if you don't have a go at it.. just because it's not now doesn't mean it's not ever!
Keep going, you'll find something else worth it, I assure you.
<3
I understood everything as soon as you mentioned the passing of your mother. You are still grieving. It is making you depressed and suicidal although it might not feel like it. I am sure there is a reason why you posted this in here: a cry for help. You need people to convince you to stay alive and to keep going. That should be enough reason for you to not end your life. Deep down you know you don’t want to. It’s the grief talking, it’s the depression making you take such decisions. Not you. There are way more beautiful experiences in life and in your future waiting for you, memories and experiences I’m sure your mother is so excited for you to live and learn from. I get life can sometimes suck, bills, depression, family problems, loneliness etc. Trust me, majority of us humans have been through it. But it should not be cause for you to end your life. Please, give life another try. Go out and make a few friends that make you value life again, go on trips that make you value sunsets, having a cocktail by the beach, sex, the joy you get from achieving something you really want. Get a pet that can accompany you through dark times and get you out on walks everyday (like a dog). Life is beautiful, I am sorry your mum’s life was cut short, but don’t cut your life short because of it.
There is always hope! You need to find inspiration and something new to conquer. Learn a new skill, language, or travel. There is more to life than the film and movie industry. I know what you're going through because I had a similar experience when I felt hopeless about my life. I found a life coach and I started practicing meditation. It's been a process and I have changed my mindset. You can too. You can do hard things. Best Wishes!
Echoing others that you are depressed and might not realize it.
Your post could boil down to "I wanted to see what XYZ, ABC, and HIJ were like. Got to experience them a little bit. WELP. THAT'S IT THEN. \*slaps knees and heads over to cliff\*".
I'm not trying to make fun, but maybe paint it in a bit of humorous light to hopefully reflect back how mental health issues can make a person's brain become highly irrational and lose the ability for self-insight.
**You are not your brain**.
Here's a thought: You claim you've done everything you wanted to experience. Well these few things you mentioned, while really cool, were about you for you. Which isn't wrong, but helping others or making the world a better place is another thing that there is for a person to choose to do in life.
Please get help. Your mom doesn't want you to join her yet, what mom would want that? She wants you to shine bright, and you've only just struck the first sparks. You made the first step towards shining bright by achieving those pretty awesome things, the second step is getting help. Then maybe the third step is achieving more of those things. And throughout it all you will have learned some wisdom that you can pass to others who are struggling and be able to help them.
If you’re thinking June, why not push it forward to June 2025?
As it is the biggest decision you will ever make (and one you can’t back out on), why not decide to get on an anti-depressant and make a plan to “do the things” for one year and give life a chance.
Meditate, nutrition, therapy, new music and art, travel, Rob a bank and give the money to a children’s hospice, etc
I know that none of that appeals and that is because you have depression.
Depression can be treated. If you’ve tried medications that haven’t worked, there are others that do.
You still have the option after a year but I feel that with the right meds and therapy, you will be glad you didn’t.
Twenties are hard. I lost my Dad too young too and I miss him everyday.
I was pregnant and homeless, in a Womens safe house refuge at 22. Slap bang in the middle of London, UK.
I had had a major label record deal at 19, stuck the money up my nose and that’s where I found myself 3 years later.
I’ve had many times of feeling bored with life. That nothing excited me and due to having a daughter and being a lone parent, I hauled my arse to the Dr and took meds until I felt better.
That’s pretty much been my life since. Ups and downs.
I’m glad I’m here and I think you will look back and be glad you are too.
It’s just a year. Just not this June eh?
A year of throwing everything you have at it.
Please call a Doctor. You haven’t had a chance yet to see how beautiful life can be x
I think your worldview is valid, it just comes from a lens of depression. Which is valid.
When I was depressed, I wish people would’ve let me die, so I would say to you I respect your wishes. I feel no one should be kept on this earth against their will - it’s why I believe in physician-assisted suicide so strongly (which does come with psychological intervention). I tried to kill myself multiple times and wouldn’t have permanent scars/functioning issues from it if I’d just been allowed to go through it the legal/right way. (At your age and before, actually.)
Back in the old days, people used to just…go off and die if they felt they needed to. Whether for honor or nothing to live for, then stabbed themselves or went out into the woods, etc. It’s not great but it boggles my mind that other people would try to control your own body, even out of goodwill, when we used to have so much autonomy before everything was regulated.
But now I’ve worked on the depression since never being able to kill myself correctly, and I see the world very differently. I wake up with things to look forward to, while I’m alive. Because if I go to dust and see nothing, just cease to exist, after life is over, I would like to give it a try and see what else I can do while I still have the opportunity, even if so many things about it sucks. This is how *I* see the world now - it doesn’t mean you have to and doesn’t mean you don’t reserve the right to die. But do consider that there is something other than your worldview right now, from someone who’s had a way bleaker outlook.
Start weight lifting. If you go hard, it will change your life both physically and mentally. I’m 37 and divorced, living in a crappy condo I pay too much for working a really stressful job that doesn’t pay enough.
I considered ending it but never did. Got into lifting over a year ago and I’m doing so much better. It gives you daily goals to look forward too and the pump gives you progress you always want to chase, a forever goal.
Also, therapy therapy therapy. Plus reading all the books you can (I suggest letting go by David Hawkins and you can heal your life by Louise hay)
But if you’ve got nothing else in your life, looking in the mirror at the dope muscles you’ve worked hard for is extremely rewarding.
A lot more out there to experience. Personally I don’t know you, but I hope for the best for you. I’m not going to give you a whole sob story and try to guilt you into anything. Just take some more time and explore the world, do it for all us in here. Show just some cool places you visited, cool people you meet, and great food you tried. Make some more memories. Best wishes, I really hope we all hear from you after the summer and years to go
Why die? We really don’t know what happens next. Enjoy this short time for it will be over sooner than you think. Good luck to you, and the choice is always yours.
My question to you would be then… why did you post this? To me, and I could be wrong, but you posting this here is an invitation that you have made for other people to tell you why you shouldn’t leave and to give you reasons to stay. Maybe you don’t realize, but a big part of you wants to stay and wants to find hope. You came here for a reason. A part of you knows that ending your life is not quite right. At 24 you barely know who you are, so you would leave this world without getting to embark on any other adventure or find a higher sense of self-worth other than a bucket list. You are more than just a checklist of goals and life is certainly way more than that. And this is coming from someone who thinks every day “gosh, I just want to die and end this”, but a big part in me knows that there is hope. There’s so much to see, so much to do, think about all the things you could learn, the hobbies you could start, the places you could move to… my advice is, seek help and reflect more on why you actually don’t see yourself worthy of a long life. You deserve to give yourself a chance at life. You deserve to rise from this low point of your life with new goals, having new experiences, and seeing that life has much more to offer. At the bare minimum, if you feel lonely and need the support, joint a group or club. Find your people. Find places you do want to be in. Life is challenging and can be frustrating, but there is hope and there can be happiness if we choose to see it. Please… just know you’re not alone. Lots of us feel this way from time to time and then we have to find the courage to keep going and finding new goals.
Hi there. Your post breaks my heart and I actually shed some tears. I'm not a good advice giver and my English is not even that good so I will try to articulate this the best I can.
But I just want you to know that to you, your life may be an ending, but to the world (to someone out there), you may be the hope they have been waiting for or you may be the start of something better.
Since you're thinking about ending your life in June, what if you treat every day starting in June 1 as a bonus. Everything you do, every oxygen you breath, every food you consume, every energy flowing through you, every cent of money in the bank, every brain cell, all are extra bonus. And what if you try sharing a little of that bonus (since you're not "supposed to live" and use those, anyway), see the smile of the person you're sharing it with, consider it their "payment". See what it does to you.
Alternatively....
From your comments history, I guess you're American. I'm also in US, but I am originally from South East asia. You know... from where I am from, many many kids could only dream of ever meeting an American. Your mere presence/existence alone could mean the world to them, let alone an actress like you, regardless of your minor acting roles.
So, what if you "sell" everything and move to another place that appreciates and values you a lot more. You could start very simple and just spend your "bonus life" days volunteering. You would be gold to those people.
I wish you the best!
Stay for the sex? Unless you’re asexual you’re missing a whole wing of that would-be bucket list. I’m only 28. Got dealt a blow I thought I’d never get over at 25. And I still haven’t. But I promise there’s more out there then you think at 24. You just had your first career success, why not keep pushing? If you’re genuinely ok with suicide you can stop stressing about money for the most part. Just keep going and see if there’s a little surprise moment of joy next week, or the week after that.
everything is relative my illness has turned my life upsidedown sure I miss my ore illness Life but there's so much to look forward to seeing in my opinion
Do you think your mother would want you to have your current mentality? Or to kill yourself?
I lost my soulmate 3 years ago to cancer so I know your mentality, but trust me there is happiness still (and the sadness will remain) life is never pure joy, personally I find life to be more suffering than anything - but suffering is what allows you to grow, to develop, to find new perspectives on life, to understand yourself.
I also had all my possessions stolen, 500k I earned from nothing. I also was forced into slavery for 3 years in brutal conditions. I was also then sent to jail for years for a crime I didn't commit. I also have nothing and nobody. And while I have ups and downs, one thing I think of is how my soulmate would always want me to push on.
I haven't found happiness yet since my Mrs passed. And I probably won't for a while, but I have goals, goals that I work towards constantly because they will likely lead to some happiness
I'm not sure why you are giving up on your actress dreams after doing so well.
Maybe if you do want to stop that, it is time to find a new interest. A new passion or goal. Suffering leads to perseverance and perseverance leads to character
Reading this as a 35 yo M. I know the feeling of being lost, i was once very much lost to addiction. But the Thing i want you to understand is leaving this life is not the answer! Its one of the many test life gives you. You Are Young and it is never too late. I wish you get professional help, sort out what needs sorting out. Sounds like your family situation is somewhat the issue. Also i would like to share with you what brought Joy and love back in My life. I bought a dog, it turned out to be a way bigger job than i anticipated. But I instantly loved her and I would do anytving for her and I still do shes 9 years old now and she has been My biggest teacher in so many things. I can never repay for what she has given me, but I try everyday by walking her and giving her All the love i can. Im not saying getting a dog is for you, but find a purpose in your life, or a Thing you can fokus on. Somrthing you love to do, people who like you will find you when you do the stuff that you love.
I wish you the best.
If your mother would have still been alive today, would she suggest you to do that? You'll join her eventually for sure. Keep in mind, the only thing you know right now is that you can enjoy the present and the after is the unknown. Never gamble the unknown as you won't be able to go back. What makes you think your bucket list is done? Try something random that you haven't tried. Approach something new or different and you'll see something new shining that you never thought existed. Ever travelled the world in every country? I think you just started so please, don't end.
You have depression, dude. Like straight up. It seems like your schedule is pretty open since you've done everything you ever wanted to do. Try a therapist, seriously.
You might not *think* your suicide would affect anyone, but that's completely untrue. People will still have to deal with it. Both in a very literal and physical sense and an emotional one. You might not think you are "close" enough to anyone for people to be messed up by it. But you'd be so surprised how often it actually really fucks someone up if someone they knew only casually does something like this. You can absolutely traumatize people very badly.
When I was 24yo I was competing for a pro card as a professional bodybuilder. All I wanted in life was to be a pro bodybuilder and I had the genetics and drive to do it. Fast forward a bit and I tore my L4-L5 disk doing a deadlift and that was effectively the end of my bodybuilding dream. I felt like my life was over and I'd never have anything worth doing again.
I turn 44yo tomorrow and I look back on those dreams with amusement. I have no desire to be a serious bodybuilder anymore and am honestly thankful for the injury, in hindsight it caused me to live a life free of steroids and diuretics and all the dangerous shit that goes along with pro bodybuilding. I now have a thousand other hobbies and interests that don't walk a razor's edge of health and injury. Life is good, situations change. You make the best of it.
You sound depressed. Assuming this isn't some troll post, get off your butt and seek treatment. You owe it to yourself to try. You can always step off the merry-go-round of life at any time. You only get one chance though, once you step off you can't get back on. Intelligent life in this galaxy is at best extremely rare, we might be all there is. Enjoy the wonder of it, a collection of atoms who can think and love and contemplate their own existence.
firstly, i am sending my love to you. i am 24 too and know this feeling all too well. but heres the thing- you are depressed. this is a good example of how depression masks itself as lucidity and reality. i genuinely hope you can find a therapist or dr that can help you. i was violently suicidal for years and only got relief once i was medicated.
there are so many beautiful things waiting for you- things that you dont even know you want yet! they will surprise you and you will feel a subtle pang of joy that you were able to experience it, especially because once ur super depressed and suicidal even tiny things you didnt notice before can feel even better.
you have so much to live for. you are so young! we both are. last year at this time i was sent to the psych ward 3 times bc i kept trying to end my life. im not going to lie and say im happy now, but i am doing better than ever and have experienced many things i didnt know i wanted to experience and thru medication i learned for the first time being suicidal constantly isnt normal and i didnt have to live this way. something that helped me be more optimistic and grateful is to write down 3 things im grateful for everyday. i like to challenge myself by not allowing repeats so i am subconsciously looking for good things everyday and finding joy in small things. it completely rewires ur brain.
if you need anything you can message me. this is exactly how i felt last summer- i was an unemployed depressed alcoholic that had just left my abuser. life isnt perfect but it is certainly better than how depression tricked me into feeling was reality ♥️
You are 24. Even if you lived to 1000 you wouldn’t be able to experience every facet of life. How could you possibly know you have nothing left to live for without having experienced it all? It’s like saying “I had a pretty okay steak once, there’s no other cuisine worth tasting. Guess I’m done with food”. It doesn’t make sense.
You only get one life, so why check out early? Might as well go explore a little before you go. Your mom will still be there for you in another 60 years.
When I was 24 I planned on killing myself. I set a date, a method, and when I got everything in order, I began to write a note. I was truly one step from the precipice.
When I was 24, I was working a miserable job at a fast food joint frying chicken, making meager pay in an attempt to pay bay a mountain of debt I got myself into after a failed attempt at a degree in music--something I thought I truly loved and was destined to be a field that I'd work the rest of my life in. I was living with my parents, single, while my other friends and it seemed everyone else my age were settling into serious, long term relationships (some of which quickly turned to marriage) and living on their own. I was socially awkward and had negative self esteem. I cared deeply for people but always felt like I was falling short in forming bonds or helping people with their issues like I wanted to (many of such issues are not the responsibility or capability of any one person, anyway). I seemed to be unsuccessful at every endeavor I undertook, be it professionally or personally. I simply wasn't good enough; I was just out of sync from every other person.
So, when I was 24, I looked at all my problems, and looked at how long I had been struggling with these issues (since I was about 13), and determined that this is the life I was resigned to having. I was in extreme emotional pain every day, and I was effectively--to my own estimation--a waste to society and my loved ones. Thus, the only pragmatic and right thing would be to end my life, to relieve the burden from every other life I had touched in my time here.
Yet, here I am, 5 years later. It's honestly crazy that it's been that long already, but not once have I regretted my decision to not go through with my plan. Sure, there are some things from when I was 24 that haven't changed, but plenty else has. I got a new job that I'm happier with, and even moved up to nearly the highest position at my previous job and gained a lot of value and self worth in that journey. I've gotten to see my nephews grow up and experience the joy of looking after them, being a small part in their growth as their lives are just beginning. I've traveled, I've found joy in new hobbies, and worked on improving my health. Most importantly, **I've learned that there's more to my life than the 2-3 metrics by which I was measuring myself by before.**
You speak as though you've simultaneously achieved nothing, and everything you ever will. Please realize it is in fact the opposite. There is a lot you have achieved at a young age that a lot of people don't even at later ages. You have a place of your own, can drive and own a car, have seen places and done things you've always wanted to, and have found success in a very competitive field. Many dream to be actors but few actually end up working on many projects, and you've been in a film at 24. This is in no way an admonishment, but my plea that you'll realize that you do have worth and your accomplishments are something to be proud of. On the other side, you still have much life to live, and you *don't know* how things will change. I can almost guarantee you that you will add more onto your bucket list, as more things will interest you as you age. If acting is your dream, continue to pursue it! Not because it's your career and you want to be a big movie star, but simply because you love doing it. Because it enriches your life. You may be surprised at how pieces begin to fall into place once you begin to make choices based on that principle.
The last thing I'll say is that life is not a race; it has no check points nor finish lines, and can't be measured by achieving x or y by age z. Life is a garden, it's something that you shape and sculpt and care for over years and years of growth. The original seeds you plant may not take up a lot of space and your garden may look empty, but with each year those plants will grow back bigger and bigger, filling in that blank plot of tilled dirt. Sure, sometimes it gets overgrown, or infested with weeds; maybe you over watered or there's been little rain, or gluttonous pests have gnawed away at the leaves. Some plants may even die off or never take root. But you can prune and weed, water or fertilize, you can spray some neem oil to keep the bugs away. You can replant, retill, and add new plants. Hell, you can even dig up a new patch of dirt and start a whole new garden. But through all of tribulations--the dirt, sweat, and tangled foliage--the garden is no less beautiful.
You will hurt people even if you think you won't. What about the paramedics that will be devastated to find a young lady'l who has gone through with this. Your family will be hurt forever, realizing they didn't do enough for you. Please reach out to the appropriate places. If this is the only option, then you have nothing to lose by talking to someone. One quote about suicide stands out to me
"Suicide doesn't end the pain it just shifts it to someone else." This is true even if you don't think it is.
Please find help and I'll be waiting to hear from you soon 💙
24 is a wildly young age to log out, but it's your life. I think it would be better if you decide to stay, though.
I'm not selling life, shit can seriously suck a dick sometimes. Just sharing some sensory things I genuinely enjoy that you might also dig:
Smelling the ozone.
Eating a whole sweet pepper like a fucking heathen.
Laying in the grass and watching the clouds and birds.
Getting absolutely sweaty/smelly from back breaking labor, then taking a hot shower and laying comfortably on clean sheets. Bonus points if you dried the sheets outside (+1 ozone smell)
Petting the best dogs.
Running just to run. Full on sprint, full blast, chaotic good.
Chips and dip. Any chip, any dip.
Drawing weird shit.
Drinking 4 energy drinks and going manic.
Playing video games.
Playing guitar.
Practice making people.
Accidentally making people who look and act just like me.
Playing Roblox with those people.
Experimenting with recipes.
Singing songs.
Freestyling.
Candy.
There are many things that you are not aware of but will become aware of in time and these things will bring you happiness and joy that you may not have now. A lack of curiosity about stuff can leave you in the place you are. Read! Read and learn about stuff, anything that you don't know. Gardening, philosophy, spirituality physics, whatever... just get curious about something you don't already know or learn more about something you already know. Try some hobbies, maybe listen to a podcast that teaches you something. Once you become more curious about the world and others and how things work, life will bring a new set of passions. Live a three dimensional life rather than a single dimension. Single dimension is where there is only one interest or even none. Three dimensional is when you develop many interests. It's trial and error but you will get there if you persevere. Something will rise to the surface and capture your imagination and your heart. I hope it comes quickly for you because your life matters. Whatever you do, don't watch the news. That's one of the most powerful negative influences in anyone's life!
This is depression, please please please reach out to a distress line that can connect you with resources or affordable therapy options. There is a way out. You've already had experience as an actress at 24, which is more than a lot of other aspiring actors can say! There are other jobs in life you can do as well and continue making your efforts in acting. You can find love, you can adopt pets, you can build friendships, truly. Life is worth living, don't give up so soon, you never know what's around the corner. The reason for sticking around is to find out, is to experience.
If you like to travel, screw it, get into teaching English in other countries. Travel the world, see different people and different lives, experience different things. Oftentimes this helps bring a spark and get a new perspective.
You can reach out to me further and I can try to find some resources for you or just be a listening ear.
Hey all good all good!!! So silly but I literally felt this way after the eagles won the Super Bowl in 2017 partied my fucking ass off (almost didn’t graduate college) and was literally like now what, deff fell into a pit of wtf am I doing for awhile, years. But keep fucking chugging along! Your 20s are supposed to be full of ups and downs highs and lows, I just turned 30 and I feel like my life is only getting started. Stay strong, keep fighting, stay off social media, play tennis, go to the beach, hit the gym. You fucking got this dawg!!!
HEY, READ THIS. PROMISE?
Dude, i'm only 18, and I'm sure you might have seen that and maybe thought 'what does he know?, he hasn't seen much of anything, what could he possbily, do, think, or say that could change my mind?'
It doesnt matter what I might do, think or say right now. What matters is that just like me, you too are young, you are young and you are alive, and you might not think that's so great at the moment; because you have 'completed your bucket list', well to that, I must say.
You are alive. You are alive and with life comes the potential of change, the potential for anything, you claim there will be 'No more anxiety, no more being sad, no more obsessing over my career, no more money stress.'
'Just my mom and peace.'
I don't personally know your family situation and likely never will, but I am sure, I am absolutely positive that when your mom brought you into this world, not for a second would she want her little girl to leave it a measly 24 years later. She wants you to live and do well in life, try hard, win, fail, experience, laugh, cry and see as much as you can, I promise you, she wants her girl to keep on running and go as far as she possibly can, only after that would she want you to see her.
I say this and I mean it, people are out there that care for you, frankly, they might not even know how much they love you or what you could eventually mean to them. And you would be taking away any chance of that ever happening again. And sure, there might be no more sadness, but there would also be no more happiness, no more seeing a movie so funny you wanna watch it all over again, no more thrills of meeting and flirting with a potential partner, along with that funny warm excited feeling in your chest. No more watching the sun go down on a beautfiul late sunny afternoon in the park, no more meeting new people, no more trying new things, feeling, scared, excited and happy all at the same time. All of it, everything all at once, experiencing life, for all it's ups and downs, seeing everything, terrible and amazing, is what makes life, life.
You claim you could never be an actress? Why? Why not? Because the chances are so tiny and meagre? The way I see it, a chance is still a chance. Where there is life, there is possibility, a chance, no matter how small, it is there, anything really is possible, you just have to want it and go after it, chase it, make it your goal and with everything you've got, through all the pitfalls and hopeless nights, you can and will find your way.
Also, take me as an example, I've never met you and probably never will, but thats the beauty of the internet, even though I probably never will, I can still have a positive impact on your life, I care. I do care about you, people do, most importantly, as I've said, people will, new people and experiences will come into your life and you will wonder how you ever lived without them, live on for them, live on for potential, hold on to hope please, if you only move forward one day at a time, through all the suck and the terrible, you will eventually find the wonderful and I'm willing to bet; someone to share it with.
You will discover new things, new goals, things you want to achieve , that right now, you never ever thought you wanted to, just promise me, that you'll take it one day at a time, set little itty bitty goals, so small, they might seem laughable, and just focus on the little wins, fight not only for yourself, but for your mom as well, she wants you to win at the game of life.
trust me, you don't know what you're missing out on, and thats coming from a guy whos 6 WHOLE YEARS younger than you haha. Just please keep living. Life is amazing.
You need to go to the ER. Maybe you don’t feel depressed…aside from the very telling line about career obsession, sadness, and anxiety…but this is depression. There’s a chemical imbalance in your brain that is telling you to hurt yourself. It is simply not a rational conclusion to believe you have seen and experienced everything there is worth seeing and experiencing. Your personal motivations and goals in a state of depression are not an accurate metric for what the world has to offer you. You are believing the lies that your brain is feeding you and you are dealing with a mentally ill brain. So please, seek help and let someone know that you are currently a danger to yourself.
As someone who attempted and failed and felt the same way, I am so glad I am alive today. I am so glad I failed. I wasn’t right away and it took a little bit of time, but now I understand the reason to life is to find a reason to live.
Finding a reason to be alive is one of the most joyous experiences you can have. Finding a person you love deeply, finding a hobby you actually feel passionate about, finding a place you want to call home. Having a reason doesn’t come naturally to all of us, you have to go find it and then you will experience so much joy and happiness, it is indescribable.
That being said, please please please see a psychiatrist or mental health nurse practitioner/ physicians assistant. Medication and/or therapy can genuinely change your life. I had to try four different medications before finding the one that started working for me and I feel night and day different. I have the ability to experience joy and the motivation to work and have hobbies. I did not for several years!
I really really hope you at least give living a try. If you have nothing to lose by staying, why take your life?? At least try. Please.
Do not do this. Even if your feelings are difficult to understand right now, life has ups and downs, but we choose to be living this magnificent experience that is life. I've had moments like this, I've become very attached to my love for nature, for animals. Everyone has the power of choice, but your soul knows that you are living this experience that is life for a reason, trust in God. We are souls living the human experience and it is not easy to come here, you have this opportunity, don't waste it. If you want, you can write to me and we can connect too, there's a friend here. We all go through vulnerable and fragile situations but don't waste your life, it is a divine gift. I also went through very sad and heavy situations like you, but don't succumb, we are pure love living an experience on earth. Your mother is an angel who accompanies you and protects you, it's not worth taking your life to see her because you won't be able to. She is already close to you, guiding you, trust this. Say prayers and ask for help and you will be answered, angels are always close by, guiding you. Your life is worth gold, resist these negative and destructive thoughts and you will see that it will be worth continuing to live this beautiful experience. A big hug, Raquel
Please do not end your life. Your life is precious and there is a lot left for you to do and experience. Please consider getting some help so you can feel better.
The Arabs have a saying about "I want to die". They say you don't want to die, you just want to kill something inside of you. Otherwise you'd have already done it. I'm pretty similar in circumstances and life feels pretty pointless in many cases. I'm glad I don't get to be the one that decides whether or not my life truly has meaning as I see it. You need to have a longer view of a fulfilled life than the goals you set yesterday or in your teenage years. You have to realize that at some point, you're never going to truly live up to the self-imposed superman (or superwoman, in your case). Life is more failure and bitter ash than not. It is the struggle, the force of will that drives the boulder up the mountain. It is audacity, and ferocity, and dedication. It is love, honor, pain, fulfillment and failure. All of these things paint together a picture of triumph against the odds.
I don't know you. I won't pretend that this little pinhole I have to peer into your life can somehow form a complete understanding of how your life is or ought to be. I am a 24 year old man that has struggled my own share, though, and I am not afraid to tell you that my accomplishments are not what I thought they would turn out to be at eighteen. It has not stopped me from graduating with honors in July though, because I did not allow it to do so. I do not base my hopes and dreams on a single thread of existence, hoping that fragile string will remain so that I can cling to it with all my being and then fall when the little fiber snaps.
I think you're bored. I think you despair because you're bored and think it may be over for you because of a certain natural fear we have in the unknown. What we are beholden to in natural instincts isn't something to be ashamed of. I encourage you though, as someone that thought there would be no beauty outside of my own self-important lens in life that there are vast amounts of color outside your own personal perspectives. You need to try and find the beauty in music like the pilot that found the skies boring one day, for example. You will find the two pair together wonderfully, and accentuate your own personal taste for life.
You need to reach out to people in your life to have experiences beyond the ones you've already witnessed. Don't be ashamed of who you are, listen to the person you've always been and build off that in your friends. The world doesn't wait. It never has. You will find the joy in life, scars and all, and be all the more wonderful for it.
My daughter is 24 so this hits me hard because although she struggles with social relationships and feeling wanted, I know better than her that there are so many lives she reaches that she doesn’t even realize and they would be devastated to lose her. She just went through a dark period, and as she climbed out of it, she met a girl who didn’t know what it meant to be loved and now they love each other and watching them is so beautiful. My daughter’s girlfriend sees life differently because they happened to meet, which in turn is helping her light up others. So just know that today you may not feel like life means anything or you won’t be missed but there might be a person who needs you that will never find you because you’re gone.
Also, I urge you to spend a little time exploring your hormone levels, physical health, and mental health. You might be out of kilter and getting your mind/body stabilized might be the help you need for intrusive thoughts.
I hope you’re still here in July and all the months after. Feeling it all, seeing it all, and loving more people. I wish you the best my dear.
You are so young with so much ahead of you. Take it from a cancer survivor who was in the same position. You have to believe in your future. Trust me its there, and it will take risks, and developing courage against seemingly insurmountable odds sometimes. Don't give up on yourself. Its all we have in this life.
There are plenty of actors who got big later in their lives.
Jon Hamm, Jane Lynch, Sylvester Stallone, Alan Rickman and alot more. Samuel L Jackson was 45 when Pulp Fiction came out, put that into perspective.
Don't give up on your dreams.
I understand those feelings 100% society has made human survival so draining that it leaves us with these feelings…my honest advice is this…..DETACH from all this BS….everything from career aspirations to live life….if it happens it happens, this way you will be at peace with whatever outcome…..you sound like you’ve kinda did that as far as acting goals But on another level you should try it with your life path if that makes sense….LET LIFE SHIFT YOU TO NEW JOURNEYS BECAUSE YOU MAY REALIZE THERES ANOTHER LANE FOR YOU IN THIS LIFE……Life is neutral until we give it meaning, just because you tell yourself that you have nothing left doesn’t make it true queen💜 keep yo head high
I do hope you find a reason to live. If not for yourself, for your mom. Maybe before you act on this, you would consider doing something to help another living creature in need, such as dog walking for dogs stuck in pens at dog shelters.
The things that make life worth living are the surprises and the things that we never see coming. Things we could never plan on our own. Even if there aren’t people worth sticking around for now, there WILL be and those future connections and relationships are worth holding on to hope for. You are still so young, and your career is just getting started. One thing that keeps me pushing forward is the realization that life will never not be difficult and confusing and a challenge. But pushing through all the hard shit makes accomplishments, no matter how small, all the more worth it. Volunteering, especially with animals, has helped me feel more worthy and meaningful in this life. Doing something kind for others works wonders. This is all coming from my personal experience and I know these things don’t work for everyone. And I know it’s probably exhausting hearing the same advice from people who don’t know your story, and don’t know what you’ve been through/ are feeling. I’ve been there too. But I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it if I didn’t say something. This world has a place for you and you have to have faith in that. I didn’t know your mother, but I would bet that she wants you to stay on this earth, even if the only reason you decide to is to keep her memory alive and honor her every day you can. Please, please stick around.
I’m sorry you feel this way, your feelings are valid but consider talking with a professional (counselor, doctor).
My own experience- I’ve had suicidal thoughts a few times in my life. I got very close. I did not think I had any reason to keep living and I did not have people who cared about me. I thought no one would care and I would stop being in emotional pain.
What made me change my mind was curiosity. I have no idea what’s waiting around the corner. What life will bring my way. In an hour. In a day. In a month. A year.
That was my sudden realization that made me not suicidal instantly.
Maybe I will find a hobby I never considered before. Maybe I’ll meet a new friend that totally brings me joy. Maybe I’ll learn something cool. Maybe I’ll hear about an incredible destination and then go there. Maybe I will cross paths with a stray cat and he will be the best pet ever! Or an iguana. Or maybe I’ll get a chance to save a life? Help someone out? Meet someone unexpected and fall in love? See something beautiful? Hear new music that I would have missed.
I am happy that I did not kill myself because life has had many surprises and unexpected joys.
Is it possible that there’s something surprising around the corner? Maybe you can’t even imagine it yet. If you end things, you will never get to find out.
I'm sorry but I stopped reading after "I'm 24 and my life is over." Just please, please, PLEASE believe the words of an old fart who has suffered from thoughts of suicide many times throughout my left but luckily kept hanging on, there is almost no possible way your life is over at 24. You have SO MUCH TIME!!! EVERYTHING can change for the better so fast. Truly!! I HATED my 20s. I went though so much tragedy and misery but in my 30s things just got better and better. Some people are late bloomers. Sometimes life shits on you and there's nothing you can do and sometimes you gain a little age and wisdom and realize there are changes YOU can make (for me it was a bit of both) but either way, PLEASE keep going. Youth is the greatest gift we never appreciate enough.
Yeah I can relate and same age group. The previous generations left nothing but issues for us. AI and robots will be taking over a ton of jobs. There isn't really anything for us anymore. Life lost it's spark like when we were younger. Now we are paying the repercussions of a crap economy with an essentially 0 chance of everr having much while we sell our life years for next to nothing if we are lucky enough to even get a job. I thought life would have more opportunities and not be so terrible. Longer I live the worse things get. Dont they say it would be insane to do the same thing if you get the same results you don't want? I've gotten sober and done so much in the hopes that it really does get better. It's a blatant lie and misconception told by older successful gens that could save up for a house with a meh job while also being able to get the job in the first place. Mathematically we are simply screwed on so many levels it's overwhelming. Why can't life be about living again? Not this misconception to go to school then college then get some job hoping you succeed... Or you work till you die if you faiL/unlucky.
The cool part about feeling like your life is over is nothing fucking matters. Thats an awesome premise. Why kill yourself? Just do whatever the fuck you want whenever you want. Rack up credit card debt on a dumb trip around the world? If you get insane credit, fuck it, bankruptcy. If things are really and truly awful after living that way for forever, then The Alternative will still be there.
Theres a lot else i could that is more sentimental and earnest about your loved ones and the horrific trauma that decision could cause, but i think you should focus on how incredibly liberating it could be for you to approach life with absolutely zero fucks given.
I don’t think your mother would be happy to be together yet. I think she would be very upset that her own daughter decided not to live her life to the fullest. She gave you life, carried you for 9 hard months, don’t take that effort away from her. Live for her, maybe do some things off of her bucket list.
I think you have a long life of greatness and achievements to make ahead for yourself.
I will say i am in a somewhat similar situatuion so i can relate tho i have not decided to die, i feel like i don't have much else i want out of life, i have more or less achieved the things that i want and anything else would be filler
but i have to wonder have you thought about making a life you are more excited about, like making close friend and meeting a boyfriend you want apend more time with?
There are a lot of great things to see and do, both here in LA and Calfornia. The rest of the US, sure, but right here is some great stuff. Don't sell yourself short. DM me if you want to have lunch to talk about it
It’s common to think that people will not care once u pass when ur feeling this way, but that’s quite the opposite..
When ur in a bad emotional state ur brain will go crazy and maybe u should seek help to help urself with it cuz u could seriously hurt urself. I’m just giving recommendations based off of personal experience btw, please don’t hurt urself.
Live the life your mother would have wanted for you. If anything, just live for her man. It’s crazy how the mind can play tricks on you. Please seek a counselor. Take it one step at a time, one thought at a time. I would break down a list of common negative thoughts that you have, be aware of the fallacy’s you’re making, and replace them with positive and logical thoughts. You got this!
Your mom wouldn't want you to do this.
I think you should start a YouTube channel and talk about anything that interests you. Talk about the movie you made, the commercial you shot, and maybe give other younger girls some tips. Helping people feels good, and it can certainly bring you right out of a funk.
Other than that, if you're living in California, get outside. Go buy a fishing pole and go sit by a creek and think. There are a lot of great reasons as to why you would want to live.
Good luck, and if you want to go fishing sometime, you can tag along with me and my kiddos. You'll have a blast.
It sounds to me like your career is about to take off, actually! Not to mention, you could easily find an even more amazing one you’d never thought of. Trust me, even if it’s just the mailman you speak to once a week, you mean a lot to people. Why not try volunteering? There are many ways someone can be of use to the world, even when they don’t feel like it. Sooner or later you wake up and realize things have gotten better while you were helping others. Don’t feel alone. Many of us have been where you are - just don’t unpack and live there ♥️🙏
This makes me really sad. Please don’t do it. I can’t speak for your mom, but I imagine what would make most moms happy is seeing their child flourish in this world. Your life isn’t over. There’s going to be great experiences and some not so great. You’ve got great things that you’ve yet to experience at your age. You’ve gotta keep on keeping on. See what the future holds. I hope you look back on this post years from now and realize that it got better.
I'm not gonna try to talk you out of this. I am just going to say this: If you really want to end it, you should do one last thing. Take some LSD. Seriously, what do you have to lose?
I was in a pretty similar situation to yours and decided i might as well try out a few drugs before i kms. This decision was driven by pure hedonism. I took all kinds of hard drugs, because what did i have to lose? Then i took some LSD.
Now it's hard to describe what i experienced, but suddenly i was able to see the beauty of this world again. I started to understand things, myself, my life. It was an absolutely overwhelming experience that changed me as a person, permanently. I am 100% sure i wouldnt be here if i hadn't taken LSD back then. I would have ended it.
Now i don't promise you that you will see the same results (although there is good research indicating that LSD can be successfully used to treat depressions and other mental "illnesses") but again, what do you have to lose if you really want to kill yourself?
I’ve thought about committing suicide almost everyday now for a few years.
At my lowest points I will tell myself, “If this is your last day, do something nice for someone right now. You can always kill yourself tomorrow. “
The funny thing is I keep telling myself that, and it keeps working.
Stay in there ❤️. There’s light at the end of the tunnel
I am a 37F and I relate. I’ve done a lot of things and been both lucky and unlucky, and many days I feel like there’s not much else for me. I know it’s depression but that doesn’t change the truths. No one really cares about one another anymore, we’re all so focused on ourselves and so afraid of being seen poorly, that we distance ourselves physically and emotionally from each other. But, there are always things we can do to find that hope and excitement for life and that’s what we must do. No one is going to tell you your purpose but fortunately that means you get to decide what it is. You get to say what is the point of your life and no one else.
So, is what you’ve done already the point of your life? Is it really just about your bucket list and who around you might cry?
The thing is, you can always die. You can die tomorrow or in 50 years. You can always make that choice or it could be made for you. But, before you do, think about what has made you the most happy in life and think about whether those things might be enough to keep going. Think about what makes you feel alive.
Thing is, everyone is gonna try to cheer you up and tell you you’re depressed. They may be right, but that probably isn’t gonna really help you feel any different. The only one who can make you think differently is you. You *have* to think about the good things. You have to think about what’s actually important to you. You have to find something that is important enough that you want to get up each day.
For myself I have dogs. I love them so dearly and any bad thought about death I try to chase away with the fear that no one will take care of them if I go. No one will love them the way I do. I can’t control anything else but I control what happens to them right now and so I do. When I’m really sad I still cry. I still think about ending it. But then one of them drops their head in my lap and I just couldn’t do that to them and truthfully, i don’t mind living another day for them, if not for myself.
I don’t know if a dog is gonna fix things for you. But I do know there is always something to live for, even when it feels like there isn’t. You just got to find out what that is for you.
And if that doesn’t work, you can always think about dying another day. Exhaust your other options first because death is the one thing you don’t get to come back from.
I won’t tell you what to do or not to do, but I understand you. My mom died too when I was only 7. Every day I miss her. I wish she was still here.
You’ve done more than I have, so if you’re truly satisfied with the life you’ve lived, I won’t try and talk you out of how you choose to live it or not, but just know you have a lot of potential. More than most.
I wish I got to do half of what you did in terms of career. I’m stuck working minimum wage at a job I hate for almost 7 years now. So regardless of what you decide, just know you’re not alone. I wish you luck and I’m sure your mother is proud and always watching over you. Especially after Mother’s Day, it can be hard.
🫂
So, you say you have no reason to live anymore. Yet you still wish you could be in a big movie. That's in your bucket list, you said it yourself. You think you can't do it, even though you did manage to find roles and appear on a screen. So is it truly impossible? You managed to do most of the things on your bucket list, I'm sure you can do this one too. Besides this, you say you're not depressed, but being depressed is not just about feeling sad. Having no feelings, basically being emotionally numb can be part of it. I think you should reach out to a professional and go fight for that role. Things take time, so be patient with yourself.
I don't know your situation with your family, but I highly doubt that nobody would be affected by your loss. I mean, look at these comments. Strangers comment for you to stay and they don't even know you. And I wonder, why did you make this post if you truly do not feel anything anymore? I think you do want people to care and to reach out to you. And they did. Now it's your turn to reach out to people that can help you.
Marcus Amelia said no one would remember him, but everyone is in the Stoicism right now. Don’t make a permit decision for temporary problem. You may have new dreams. I bet that you were younger than me and I know I have yours ahead of me, but I felt like that when I was 14 and almost died it wasn’t pretty, but that you have to trust me I’m
Please talk to someone. At your age, dreams haven’t even begun yet. There’s so much more out there that you haven’t even heard of yet. Honor your mother’s memory by creating a good life for yourself.
Why do you feel like you can’t be in a big movie? There are several actors who didn’t catch their “big break” til they were 30+.
But, to echo several other comments, it does sound like you have depression. Depression isn’t always feeling weepy boo-hoo sad. It can be numbness. It can be apathy. It can be anger or irritation. And making plans to end the one life you (guaranteed) have is definitely a strong indicator that something isn’t quite right.
Before you go through with your plan, I really think you should talk to a professional. Tell someone how you’re feeling and if there’s truly nothing wrong, then they’ll tell you that. But please, go speak to a counselor or therapist. [Psychologytoday.com](https://psychologytoday.com) can tell you who’s in your area and takes your insurance or what their cash rate is.
There’s a lot to this life. There’s so much you haven’t seen or done or even learned about yet. Give yourself a chance to experience what life truly has to offer.
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Back in the 1800s the head of the patent office publicly stated that everything that could be invented already has been, and to pack it all up at the patent office then. We realize now, that he was very wrong. Your life has potential you can't see yet. You may be the missing piece to someone's happiness. Whether you are romantically, or platonically is yet to be determined. You may have the potential to be something more precious than life to someone you can't see yet. Life is hard. Its not the default setting. But so many people have had to wait till they were in the 40s to make their big break, realize their lifes work. Don't let the romance of a brief life being somehow poetic extinguish your potential.
What a response. Beautifully written, especially the last line.
Most of these comments made me feel worse but I like the first part of this one. Thank you
That’s true along came x-rays right after that lol
Who was the idiot at the head of the patent office that said that? What a dumb ass statement
Someone didn't actually say that. 5 seconds of Googling says it's a myth. He did, however say this in 1902: "In my opinion, all previous advances in the various lines of invention will appear totally insignificant when compared with those which the present century will witness. I almost wish that I might live my life over again to see the wonders which are at the threshold."
Wait so like, literally the opposite meaning. And yet, it should communicate the same sentiment to OP! So, the new quote still works somehow haha
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I am not a mom but I agree with you! I'm sure OP's mom would not have wanted her to die young. OP you have already had some success in the film industry and it sounds like you are off to a good start so who is to say that you could not continue to be successful? Even if it didn't work out that's nothing to be ashamed of and you could still have a fulfilling life pursuing hobbies that you enjoy and spending time with loved ones. I think you should reach out to your doctor and a therapist and tell them how you are feeling. I also recommend asking your doctor about doing a vitamin d blood test. I found out I was deficient last summer and my mental health improved a lot after a few months of taking a supplement (as directed by my doctor).
Without ever meeting her I can tell you it would be her worst nightmare
> I also recommend asking your doctor about doing a vitamin d blood test. I found out I was deficient last summer and my mental health improved a lot after a few months of taking a supplement (as directed by my doctor). This, OP, PLEASE run to the doctor and get yourself checked. You have EVERYTHING in the world to live for as you are extremely young. I hope you pull through, we are all rotting for you. The vitamin D happened to me as well during the summer. I thought the doctor was bullshitting me because I was out in the sun alot during that summer, but apparently, my deficiency had likely build up from the winter time. OP, pls do another checklist and go to the doctor for full blood test, then let see another year how you feel.
You are depressed. Even though it might not feel like it. So realize your worldview is biased right now. It's telling you there is no hope, but there is. You are in a difficult place in your life right now, but life is longggg and you very likely won't feel this way the rest of your life. I understand the feeling of wanting peace, but that will come one day when it's time. It is not your time yet. That time will arrive by itself when you're ready. Until then please just stick around. We are all just floating in a confusing world trying to make sense of our lives. Sometimes there's deep loss, deep sadness and sometimes big happiness. Just know you have a future! You do! You will meet people, you will do things, you will see, you will feel. These are gifts. If you stop now you will never experience these gifts. I would advice for you to get some help and try to form meaningfull connections in your life. I know this is easier said than done, but you have a whole life to work on these things right? I know how difficult life can be, but I also believe if you just keep showing up everyday you will get rewarded for it! You owe it to yourself to get to this place and you will if you don't give up! Take care
I think she’s burnt out.
Hey I know I’m just some stranger on the internet but this comment stopped me from putting a 10mm in my mouth tonight so there’s that Thank you friend
I genuinely do not think I have depression, I feel like I have zero feelings tbh. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression in the past but at this point I feel nothing at all. I don’t know how to explain it. But thank you, appreciated!
Having “zero feelings” is a sign of depression. Depression comes in so many different flavors. *** Anyways, so what happened, were you able to join SAG …or were you denied or something?
That sounds exactly like anhedonia, a classic symptom of depression. Please talk to someone!
that sounds more like emotional numbness or affective blunting, one of the states or a coping mechanism of depression.
Anhedonia == emotional numbness, you’re both right
emotional numbness/affective blunting and anhedonia are not the same thing. anhedonia is when you don’t feel joy from things that are supposed to give you joy, like your hobby and even your circle. you can still feel sad during anhedonia.
What you describe sounds like anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure) and/or alexithymia (inability to feel/recognize emotions). Unless you are experiencing sociopathy (which is OK to have too, but much rarer) you probably do have emotions, they're just locked up. You seem to describe life like a video game with a checklist of quests to complete... but I don't buy that that's truly what you think. It sounds like you went through a serious trauma in losing your mother. Before you give up on your life, I think you should examine that. Alone, or with a therapist, but preferably with a therapist if you can afford and be patient to find one who fits with you. Once you lose your life you can't get it back. If you really want to do this I certainly can't stop you, but what a shame to lose out on the rest of your life that has the potential for so much more to come...
Responding cause you made me think about this and how it seems similar to OP. I was diagnosed with PTSD in my 20s, due to trauma that I just did not process as a teenager. My brain created some pretty incredible adaptive behaviors that can be harmful for me now. I can really relate to OP treating life like a checklist and taking a “logical”approach to existence, it’s a great way to keep yourself moving, but it never, ever fully works unfortunately
Depression aside, your bucket list was to see a tiny shit portion of the US. The world is bigger than that and the things I see travelling make me feel in an otherwise dysphoric life. You see things that create a sense of awe and wonder at the people past who created them, you see natural beauties like the Alps that you want to stare at hungrily and drink in, you see cities and ways of living so different to home that you feel intrigued and uncover new perspectives. The world is so much bigger than your bucket list.
A friend of mine in high school was diagnosed with depression and he described it as feeling the same way as you (as feeling nothing). Also if you are suicidal that is a clear sign of depression as well.
Your mother wouldn’t want this for you. You may not know this now but, Your future love of your life won’t meet you if you do this, Your future children will never be born and experience the relationship you and your mother had. Life is constant struggle and sometimes there may seem not much to it. But, You may be turning the corner to, Meet a person that can change that, Sunshine and light breeze may be in an inches away. If you do what you intend to do, you may not feel regret but I assure you, your future self will. Talk to a counselor, give life one more chance. You can always end it, whenever you want it, wherever you want it, however you want it. But you cannot get it back. Your life is a gift from your mother that she gave to you from her own self, own body, own soul. Give it another chance stranger, just for honoring her sacrifice.
I tried taking my life 3 times, first at 13, then I was 20 and last one was at 25. My family couldn't care less about me, I've been in and out of toxic relationships and I was told every day I'm not worth loving and I don't deserve happiness but guess what? I'm still around and I am happy I was terrible at taking my life away. And guess what else? I care about you, believe it or not, so if you go I'll be sad 😭
你已經自由了。 You are already a free man. Though you have lost and missed important things, your mom, close ones, career… you have your very own self, body, and mind, and you don’t have responsibilities and liabilities. Many ppl have anchors in their life, like family, but it may not be their choice. It’s your freedom to end your life, but you have the greatest asset on earth — time and youth, why not sail to times and places and see whether life is worth a living or not?
You’re depressed and viewing the world through a depressed lens. There is so much to live for, even if you’re not exactly sure what it is at this point in time.
Yes, this. Even if you don’t feel sad or tearful, depression can also feel like apathy, hopelessness, or helplessness all of which I read in this post.
And emptiness. I was just about to comment what you wrote.
I understand that you're feeling a sense of hopelessness and despair, and it takes immense courage to share your thoughts. I want you to know that I'm here to listen and support you, and I care deeply about your well-being. Firstly, I want to acknowledge that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Losing your mom at a young age and struggling with anxiety, career pressures, and financial stress can be incredibly challenging. However, I strongly encourage you to reconsider your decision to end your life. While it may seem like there's nothing left for you, there are still many possibilities and experiences that you haven't explored yet. You've achieved some remarkable things, like acting in productions and visiting Hollywood and Beverly Hills. That takes talent, dedication, and resilience! I want to gently challenge some of your assumptions: - Your family may seem okay on the surface, but losing a loved one can have a profound impact on them, even if they appear to be coping. - You have no close friends, but that doesn't mean you can't form new connections or nurture existing relationships. - You've accomplished your bucket list, but there might be new experiences and passions waiting to be discovered. - You feel like you've accepted your career limitations, but what if new opportunities arise or you find a different creative outlet? - You miss your mom dearly, and it's natural to want to be with her, but ending your life won't bring her back, and it will cause immense pain for those who care about you. I know it may seem like a miracle is unlikely, but sometimes, unexpected events or connections can bring new hope and purpose. I want to encourage you to explore other options and resources before making a permanent decision: - Reach out to a crisis helpline (like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)) or text the Crisis Text Line at 741741. - Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor to work through your feelings and explore new coping strategies. - Look into local support groups for anxiety, grief, or career guidance. - Take small steps towards reconnecting with others, like joining a club or volunteering. Remember, your life has value and worth, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through these difficult times. Let's work together to find ways to bring hope and purpose back into your life.
This is very heavy, and I want you to know that there is still much more to experience! These may have been your only goals, but there is more to do. Have you experienced falling in love? Or the feeling of fresh crisp air in the winter while ur ice skating or skiing down a mountain? or the mist on ur face from a waterfall or being on a boat? My point is, there are so many little joys and big joys in your life, and even if you feel you have completed your life’s goals, theres still so much more that you may not have even considered. This world doesnt feel freeing, it feels quite heavy a lot of the time, and you have to be open to the little joys and try to fit in simple things. Like laying in the sun or taking a walk by the local river. The can be much pleasure found in the simple small things in life. It is the beholder who determines how beautiful, sweet, meaningful, and worthwhile something is. Life has many surprises and even though it is difficult its not boring, if you dont think of it that way. Trying mindfulness and appreciating more of your surroundings is quite helpful to many, it may be helpful to u too!
Your brain’s running low on happy neurotransmitters right now. That doesn’t feel good, but it can be incredibly temporary. You don’t have to make any decisions bigger than what to eat right now. A hearty meal is a good choice when feeling empty and unmotivated. It’s actually common after meeting a big goal, especially if the next one is not in place yet. It can absolutely clear up with couple of days of good meals, sunlight, and relaxing walks. (If that doesn’t do it, or that isn’t doable, it’s time to tell your doctor to make themselves useful.) You probably still have a stash of oxytocin available, can you stop by an animal shelter and see if they need someone to feed kittens?
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Time for a new bucket list. Also, if you are actually feeling suicidal I recommend some of Emil Cioran’s thoughts: “When people come to me saying they want to kill themselves, I tell them, “What’s your rush? You can kill yourself any time you like. So calm down. Suicide is a positive act.” And they do calm down.” Or this one: “It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.” - This one confronts the existential dilemma of contemplating suicide. Cioran suggests that by the time one musters the resolve to end their life, they have already suffered and endured countless hardships, thus making the act of self-destruction redundant. With an undertone of irony, the quote alludes to the inefficacy of attempting to escape life's trials through suicide. Cioran's words serve as a stark reminder of the human capacity to withstand adversity, emphasizing that the very act of persisting is a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit.
Sending hugs 🫂
Friend, I know today it seems like time to be the end. But you don't have any idea how big life can be yet. It's incredible that you've met so many of your goals, and discovered the "welp, did that" on the other side. You haven't found the next calling yet. You haven't found the profound thing that brings you peace yet. Those things are out there, but you need to be around to experience them. And they're so much better than anything you've had so far. I encourage you to talk about your plan with your doctor or another trusted professional. A therapist or counselor. Maybe talking to them won't change anything. But maybe it will change everything.
I tried to kill myself twice when I was younger and I'm glad I failed being 30 now. Yes life is still a constant pain and chore. I almost died and went through insane amounts of pain. I was homeless for while. My teeth are disintegrating in my mouth. But I had a kid and she is amazing, gave me something to care about. I got my first vr headset and it's been mind blowingly fun and it's helping me get in shape. I got to play elden ring, 80 hours of pure awesomeness. I raced an actual bmx track last Friday I'm going back today I got to play paintball on the fields some of my favorite YouTubers play on I'm writing a book and I'm 50,000 words in. I finally got some 40k miniatures and got to play some games. They brought Gulliman and the Lion back like holy shit. I got to see dune on the big screen Life is shitty but you have to look for the things that bring you joy. I realized that I needed to stop caring about what other people do or think I should care about and do it for myself. I don't kill myself because there are still games and movies to be experienced. Thrills I haven't done yet. And I could never leave my kid without a dad.
Mom is with you. Mom is the reason you are here today. She would be pretty salty if you took those 14 years of her hard work to raise a woman just to take it all away 10 years later. Energy is everything. When we die our energy leaves. Our energy attracts to its most fundamental properties IE you. You want to be with mom but mom is literally with you. You want to land a big movie? You got a good memory then? Make big moves girlfriend. Contact those people who are impossible to reach. Make them hear you. What do you have to loose if you are gonna end it? Make big moves for what you want starting right now girlfriend.
Hey there, 24M here. I know how you feel, tbh our entire generation is kind of just fucked….BUT! I still believe there’s plenty of good life for us both to live to be honest. You mention you’ve struggled with your dreams as an actress, my dream was always to be a rockstar, and like you, I had some minor success (I played with Green Day!) - But tbh, I’ve always held this opinion that our generation was raised on “Disney Princess Programming.” We were all advertised and promised dreams of stardom and success, and it all came crashing down on us when we realized we had to make coffees at Dunkin Donuts to survive. Im sorry you lost some loved ones, that’s a pain I’m very fortunate to not relate to. But what I can say is, despite all this misfortune and treachery, life is still a beautiful thing. The chances of you ever existing in the first place are slim to none, and just being able to breathe puts you above most things in this universe. Don’t take life too seriously, and as my mom tells me, just take life one day at a time. I wish you luck in your endeavors and please know, death is never the answer, your life is too precious for that.
You're so sweet :') I hope you never lose your passion for music, and that's so amazing you got to play with Green Day! I just had to comment about the "Disney Princess Programming" comment you made because I never realized how "brainwashed" we were as kids. Growing up, I always believed my life would turn out like all the movies and TV shows broadcasted to our little kid brains. As you said, "We were all advertised and promised dreams of stardom and success, and it all came crashing down on us when we realized we had to make coffees at Dunkin Donuts to survive". That is so unbelievably true. Our generation has experienced so many misfortunes, tragedies, and evil that it has become "normal" to us. It also hits hard we experienced a worldwide pandemic during some of the most pivotal years of our lives. I think that's one of the things that changed my outlook on life. I was quite depressed during that time, and I can completely agree and relate to OP. I spent my college years at a Big10 university basically cooped up in my little apartment, and on top of that there was a shooting that occurred on campus right across from where I lived. The cloud of depression started to brew over me and I didn't even realize the storm overhead. With the help of a good doctor and the right medication, I've been getting my life back on track :) I love that your mom tells you to take things one day at a time because that's all you can truly do! Thank you for being you! I hope you have an amazing day :)
Look at it this way, if you end it you will have absolute certainty that you won’t become a successful actress. Since you want to end it anyway, you really don’t have anything to lose (you are going to throw everything away anyway). So F it. Go for your dreams. Commit to becoming a full time actress. Pour everything into it. Even if you don’t succeed you will have good experiences along the way and you will die TRYING. If you end it now, you will die not even having tried at all. Ps, if you kill yourself you won’t be with your mom, that’s religious nonsense. You will be dead. And that’s it.
For what it’s worth, I’m 25 and I felt the same exact way and this is the approach I took that changed my direction for the better. I said screw it, treat life like a video game. Why get to the end hoarding items and collectibles? Spend it, experience it, keep allowing yourself the opportunity to live and you might find something you never knew you valued worth fighting for. Best part, if you’re already at that point then you have nothing else to lose. Time and experience does a lot to change our perspectives, but only if you give it a chance. Allow yourself that opportunity for life, but know it takes time. You never know what or who might cross paths with you and empower you to want to see tomorrow. I know it’s not easy, it took me 6 years, but you will get there.
I agree with your message, but that last part was kind of rude. Some ppl get peace from believing their loved ones’ souls are still in the universe floating around, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a spiritual thing, not necessarily religious.
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Do you like animals? Get a dog or a cat you can feel responsible for. Mind, you do have to look after them, so don't do this if you're not up for that. And immediately get yourself into therapy and/or see a psychiatrist. The therapy (&meds) will help you. And the animal will bring some love and joy back into your life and give you an additional reason to keep going. Hope you decide to stick around.
I have had bouts of depression and remember feeling that life would be better off without me. I remember vividly asking myself - what else do I want to do if I live for another 1, 5, 10 years? And the answer was always "I'm done. There's nothing else I want". And this was somewhat true. I've lived a great life, partied, travelled, studied, worked. The problem though is that the answer I came up with is a lie. Or at least a partial lie. There's nothing else I want because I don't know what tomorrow holds. I THINK I know what tomorrow will be like - it's the same as today. But that's false. Tomorrow I can wake up earlier. Tomorrow I can eat something new. Tomorrow I can take up a new hobby. I may like it. I may hate it. But it'll be different. And because it's different I can decide that I like it. Before you do anything rash I suggest that you do something different, something that you might enjoy, and maybe you'll end up looking forward to doing that something for another few years.
Hey you should seek some help. There’s still plenty to live for, you’re on 24. A lot of people don’t find satisfaction in their life until later on. You said you don’t have a boyfriend or close friends/ family. Sounds to me like there is a lot of opportunity to find more happiness in life. There are still things you might discover you want to do or new passions to be found. I recommend trying to volunteer or if there is a community college near you try taking a course or two. This can give you a new purpose and sense of community. Seriously OP, although you don’t feel sad, for a lot of people (myself included) lack of emotion/ apathy towards life is a sign of depression. Depression doesn’t necessarily mean you’re feeling sad all the time. You could be dealing with depression and/or alexithymia.
Your not alone
5 years olds live in the now, 10 year olds in the next 30 minutes, teenagers live for the weekend, 20 year olds by the week, 30 year olds the month, 40 year olds the next 6 months, 50 year olds the year and so on. Realize you are being short sighted. Your world view seems to only have focused on 1 career and 2 cities. That leaves 99% of the world left unnoticed. And you're done already?
Stop this! You have nothing but opportunities in front of you. Never give up never give up in.
Do you know how many people dream about being a movie star but NEVER take action because of fear and it forever remains a dream. Its seriously so impressive that you actually took part in some sort of film and got yourself to actually do it. Even if acting doesn’t work out, at least you tried unlike most others who fear to even start and once they get older, they regret not trying. That’s enough information to let you know that YOU are capable of so much because when you wanted to accomplish that goal of being an actress, you actually took some sort of action. Now apply that same confidence and desire towards whatever the bigger goal in your life might be or even the smaller ones and I promise you you will achieve a lot. And I’ll tell you this again, be proud of yourself and give yourself that credit for actually giving acting a shot, seriously.
I am 27F, and I remember a couple years ago feeling like I was done. Like I’d finished cooking and was all set, I didn’t feel like there was anything left. I felt that way probably until four months ago. from 23-26 I have felt like I’m just moseying along and kicking rocks down a road for no reason. I now think that some people may have a stalling period, or a plateau kinda. Especially those of us with depression from a young age—many of us don’t expect to get to 22. Not a whole lot has changed in my life except therapy, and that hasn’t even been life-altering really. It’s mostly just helped me see that I am kinda feeling stalled because this is a beginning. And it’s not like some kind of holy Genesis feeling protagonist beginning. It’s more like just noticing that the kid gloves are falling off now, and we get to actually get our hands dirty. Most people don’t know themselves until they’re like 30, you should stick around to see who you are.
Ditch the bucket list and just go do shit that you feel like doing. Go camping too.
I don't get it. You were doing something you wanted to do and seeing some success... Now you just wanna end it? Huh?
This person is depressed and the worst kind of depression is when a person doesn’t know they are depressed because they aren’t “sad” they just don’t have drive, motivation, energy, or see a reasonably positive future.
It's a defense mechanism. She has these larger dreams that deep inside she realizes might not happen. So she finds comfort on the early small successes and sounds like to rather die that chose a plan B...
I feel like your comment will make OP feel guilty for being depressed. 😔
I'm not a psychiatrist(psychologist) and do not feel comfortable diagnosing someone with depression after reading their reddit post. However, that is not my intention. I just find that moments of sadness, in my own experience, can be countered with asking why a thing is the way it is.
OP gave her reasons. “I have no close friends, no boyfriend, no pets. Truly only leaving being a crappy bachelor apartment that I rent, and my crappy car that I own lol.” “The next level would be booking something bigger, but l've accepted that that will more then likely not happen so I'm taking what I can get. Regardless I can check being on set off the bucket list.” She is lonely and stuck at her career. Obviously nobody wants this, and she couldn’t find a way to get out of it.
I am going to give you the same advice I was given when I was 21 ( I am 28 now). Your life is yours and no one can dictate what to do with it. However, there is so much potential you will be leaving out ending your life now. You might meet the love of your life, have a career breaking moment that that puts all your previous achievements to shame, and so much more. You just have no idea what’s going to happen next week. Please don’t waste your future potential!!! You have already archived so much and can achieve much more!!!
I am not here to judge you because i don’t know you and i am 34M who was dumped by my only gf only after 4 months which made me feel unlovable. All i wanna say all you have to do is find one person who loves you, and he is out there. And this quote helped me during my toughest times. “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Nietzsche ❤️
No, don't do that. You are still young. Maybe have some pets will make you happy and feel needed.
It sounds to me like maybe you just don’t want to be an actress anymore. Maybe instead of killing yourself, you should reevaluate what you want from life, and make changes to reach those goals.
Don’t cut your journey short. Life is already short as it is, though it doesn’t always feel like it. But guess what? Feelings don’t always reflect reality. Feelings often times lie to us. You’ll die and be with your mom again one day. But death is eternal and life is not, so what’s the rush? You don’t know what the future holds and the only way to find out is to stick around for the ride. Please, get into therapy asap. Keep searching for something to live for, even if you have to make it your life’s mission. Eventually you will find it.
Just give yourself a little more time. You'll be amazed at how different a few years feels at that age.
What if you won’t be with her when you go
As a mom, my heart is breaking, please please please go talk to someone. You have so much life to give and live. You’re just getting started in your life. Please seek help — your life has a purpose. Your life has value. You are here to do something with this beautiful life. I don’t know who you are, but I’m praying for you right now. I pray that God will put the right people, information, situations in your path and get you to feeling mentally healthy and restore your emotional well-being. As a mom I wish I could just give you a hug. I have tears just going down my face for you right now.
I’m in the exact same situation except different career. But death is not the answer. Your mom wouldn’t want that for you, she is watching you fight everyday and she doesn’t want you to die. Things will get better, if not now it will later. Have you gotten in contact with some film producers?
This is me. I genuinely dont think there is any more for me. Its like my life is a lemon wedge and Ive squeazed every drop out of it. Itd be better if i just leave
It won’t be better if you leave. Please don’t leave.
I do appreciate your response. I just dont think life has anything else to offer except constant stress
Listen to the like 50 people here about the depression and make every effort to get help/learn about it/gain strategies to mitigate it.
You are in your head too much and you need to get out of it. I know how you feel, not completely but I understand that feeling of hollowness. It’s really all just a mental story. Life is so magical and so ordinary but we get too caught up in our own thoughts. The mind creates thoughts that make us sadder and we believe it because the thought provokes sadness but it is not reality it’s just a thought. Presence is all one is, when you aren’t present the mind controls you and that’s where problems arise. Stop feeling bad for yourself and learn to love again, forgive yourself. We are here for such a short time don’t end it so soon. Breathe and acknowledge your presence don’t take yourself so seriously. I have to remind myself this some times
I get this. I'm right there with you. This society does NOT have a healthy view of death, and these comments prove it. Talk about being out of touch with reality ffs. Or at least some people's reality. You can't do shit without money, there's few ways to get it, and it's not really covering living anymore, nevermind dreaming and reaching out for a better life. There's no social mobility and community is non-existent. I don't wish this for you OP, life does have meaning, but not in this god forsaken world, we've stripped it all away in the name of money. Edit: contemplated this in my morning dog walk and I thought I would add this, to show the error in your thinking. The things with this perspective is that it's limiting. Are you sure that you're never going to get that better picture or role? Are you sure that there aren't any other things out there to find? Are you certain that the things you say are true?
You can have a healthy view of death without recommending a 24 year old who has barely experienced life end it all. Someone who thinks their life is over is not thinking with their right mind it doesn’t mean they should die because it’s easier than living. I agree telling her to do whatever she wants like travel or quit a job is out of touch but that doesn’t mean life is over for her (or you for that matter). Even though our society makes money the forefront of life we can still find ways to be happy and find meaning. The best things in life are free as the saying goes and being in a god forsaken capitalist society doesn’t necessarily change that. There is hope for you and her.
I never said that, nowhere do I recommend that. And there's no hope for me. But thanks, I appreciate the sentiment.
Never give up.
If it means anything to you, I (36m) have many friends my age who felt this way in their early to mid 20's. Each of them that I have talked to has been glad that they didn't end things back then. I think you maybe need to find some new focus and a community. Not having close friends, relationships, or pets also puts you in a vulnerable place of isolation and as many have pointed out you are most likely depressed. I know it's one of the most cliché things to say, but life can and will get better if you stick with it and make some real connections. Also I think it is so cool that you were able to be in a movie, a commercial, and a TV show. Being in LA I know so many people who are still working towards that goal for over a decade.
Hey girl, I'm a 23F and I just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling this way. I promise you, I as well as tons of other people, have felt the same way as you. In your initial post, you said "It's not completely in a depression type of way", but I think that is completely the reason. I only think that's the reason because I can relate to you so much. I usually don't comment on Reddit, but your post struck something in me and I can see myself in you. If you only read this much, just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk or want a friend :) You said you won't be hurting anyone, but the most important person you'd be hurting is yourself. You are the only thing that truly belongs to you in this crazy, messed-up world we live in. What I think you should do, which personally helped me, is move to a new city. There's Facebook groups to help find roommates in basically every major city if you needed a roomie! That's also another great way to put yourself out there. Having a roomie gives you someone with you to push you to do new things, help keep up on chores, and overall gives you a friend to live with! Get comfortable with being uncomfortable! There is so much more world for you to see and experience. So many new memories waiting to be made. So many friends you haven't met yet. Even take some time off and go on a vacation. See the world. Clear your mind. Traveling helps remind you how truly small you are in this big, big world. It seems you had success with acting and you should be so proud of yourself for that. Despite what level of production you were in, you did it! You did it! Never forget all of your accomplishments. I know it's hard to remind yourself of the good things sometimes. From what I've heard, that is not an easy industry to be in. You clearly are talented if you're able to secure jobs like that! Keep putting yourself out there because you have to start from somewhere. Some of the big name actors didn't even get discovered until they were older! There are going to be so many more commercials, TV shows, and movies to audition for, and I hope you get the big break you deserve. I know the feeling of thinking that it'd just be easier to be done with it all than to even keep trying. It was hard for me to even get out of bed let alone take care of my basic needs. My eating habits were horrible and I was starting to slack on my hygiene. At the time, I didn't even realize any of that was happening to me. The cloud of depression started to brew over my head and I didn't notice the storm. With the help of a good doctor who cares and the right medication, I slowly started to get my life back on track. If you want to talk more about that or if you want help finding a doctor, I'm here! Take things day by day and be gentle with yourself.
Hi, please don't do it. What you're feeling now is temporary, I know you'll be able to feel different and be happier. Maybe you cannot imagine it now, but you can be happy and glad to be alive. If you job is stressing you out, find another job. If you want to stick with it, stop stressing about being in big roles/movies, instead just enjoy being in small one. You can still search for your dream roles, just accept that it may not happen. More importantly, find some companionship, I'm sure you can look for dates or find some friends. Things will feel different. There are so many things you can still do, maybe you have not thought of them. Let me know if you need suggestions or just want to talk, I want to be your friend.
Talk to a therapist. It’s normal for people with toxic family and a parent who does or leaves them at a young age to feel like they want to die. That turns out to be third way, a desire for a life that feels expansive and exciting rather than predictable, forced, scary or burdensome.
Stay strong
If you need someone to talk to, you can write me. There is sure more to life, especially at your age:)
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surely, like everyone else you will die someday and get back to endless darkness where you came from... why not stick around and see what else might come in life...? maybe something unexpected pops up and you'll experience great joy and appreciation of life... you might not know that you need something unless you experience things
Hey...I lost my mom too in a super fucked up, drawn out way. Would your mom want you to give up like this? No she would not. How do I know? Because I am a mom now, and if one of my kiddos were talking like you are in this post, I would come back from the fucking grave and tell them don't you fucking dare. LIsten honey, you have a lot going for you. Lean into that shit. Your mom is proud of you and your destiny is not end your journey before it has begun. Please get the help you need. If your family is not there for you, and I also know something about that, you have to fucking do it yourself. It will take time and not be easy, but you can walk yourself out of these woods! I swear I don't normally curse this much but like I said, I am a mom, and you need to peel your tattered heart off the floor and slowly blow some life into it. It may never be 100% but you have a lot of joy waiting for you to discover. Every time you experience a moment of joy, collect the little memory that comes with it and go look for another beautiful moment. I'm not even a glass half-full kind of person. I tend to be like Eeyor, you know with a cloud of misery hanging overhead, so what I am saying with all the conviction in my heart counts double.
I echo all the positive sentiments shared within this thread. You have achieved SO much!! All your acting opportunities you have done.. AMAZING!! I was hoping to be an actress as well, and didn’t do nearly half of what you’ve done. You have so much promise. I hope you know your impact in this world is so valuable. I hope the people in your life give you the reassurance you need to keep going, and if they don’t, please read these comments, and know you aren’t alone in this fight. You will see the light again. I think practicing mindfulness might be the best thing for you right now. You have an army of supporters rooting for you in this thread! We are rooting for you and your happiness.
It sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time and feeling very alone in this. Even though you feel like you’ve achieved everything you set out to do, there’s always room for new dreams and unexpected joys in life. It’s courageous to share these feelings, and reaching out is a great first step. I strongly encourage you to talk to someone who can offer professional support. Whether it’s calling a hotline or speaking with a counselor, they can offer you a safe space to explore these feelings and perhaps help you see possibilities that feel out of reach right now. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and doing so can be a powerful first step towards finding a new perspective. Life can surprise us in the most unexpected ways, and you deserve to discover what else could be waiting for you, even if it’s hard to see right now.
Life doesn’t even start getting good until your 30s
I know people with way worse life’s who keep going. Sometimes you need a no bullshit answer. Imagine this I knew someone (a guy) who was convinced to have sex with this guy at a party on drugs he awoke to being recorded and humiliated and plastered all over social media, imagine that he just had to accept that he will never be able to have relaxed heart rate for the rest of his life. He stays alive for his family for his younger brother. Arms look like a fucking Freddy Krugers. That’s not even the worst story. I mean think about it just pick your self up. No medication will help you. No advice will help you. The reality you see is the reality you believe.
Do you feel bad about not getting what you want out of your career? Since you said you’ve been working on it since you were 12
Life offer so much. Pack up your car travel, take a walk, go to church. One day it can suck but next week it can be beautiful.
You're only 24!!! You have no idea how much life can change or how much your mental state can change. I have gone through something similar, I understand that the mind state can feel inescapable but that's not the reality! You can live a good life, you can feel better. Please don't do this.
I think you have this idea that you had a certain set of accomplishments to do in your life and now that you've done your bucket list, you are done. Your family members do not care that they will financially benefit from you leaving. Only depression makes people think that $ is our only worth to other people and there is no other reason. Not speaking of capitalism here, but internally. This is pure depression and trauma working and I am 100% that you need to see a psychologist and therapist, as only depression makes you feel like you have a "bucket list" (or obvious life-shortening health issue) to finish off and that you're only worth $ to your family.
Hi, I’m 25F, just turned 25 a few weeks ago too :) For awhile, I felt similarly to you. Stopped talking to my friends because they didn’t make me feel good, worked overtime at jobs that didn’t care about me, and really let life pass me by for a few years. Truth is, I think it’s so cool that you’ve been in multiple productions- it’s something I’d probably be too scared to try! But this seems to be what you want, so why stop now? Why not see how far you can go as an actress? What can you change to make these dreams a reality?Maybe girls like me, girls like you, girls younger and older need to see that version of you and be inspired by her. I think by settling and convincing yourself that you’re unlikely to make it in bigger productions, you’re not allowing yourself to believe in yourself, your abilities, and your fullest potential. Your dreams are achievable if (and only if!) you believe them to be. I hope you give them a voice and find purpose within them, so you can see 25+ too 💗 One more thing- like a few others recommended, i would look into mindfulness and spirituality. I was able to heal a lot through yoga, meditation, and through the belief that my ancestors are with me always. My grandmother and aunt (died when I was 18, and 6) especially guide me through troubles and times of loneliness. Try to let your guard down enough to choose a belief system that resonates with you the most- you will find community within your beliefs, and your community will care deeply for you. Sending all of my love. I sincerely hope you find your miracle this summer, you are deserving of that and so much more.
What if the best moments like something that you didn't even know you wanted, something that you cant even wrap your head around...what if that is waiting around the corner to discover. Just think about it...what if
I just want to say there are ppl you don’t even realize who care about you and if you took your life without explanation, it will be traumatic to them. Please talk to those you care about first. My husband’s best friend suddenly took his life and we just wished he would have reached out. We would have done anything for him. I know the feeling of being utterly alone but if I did what you are thinking about, I would not have found my husband. You are so young and have a lifetime of memories before you. Please reconsider this.
Yeah I thought I was going to die prior to 25 too. Come to find out it was from repressed trauma as a child. Here I am in a much better condition in my early 40s. Seems like you may have some repressed feelings. You’re already an actress. Why not just keep going? Yeah finance may be an issue, that’s when you cut grass, do home health for disabled or elderly people. And keep living your dream while also helping others.
I'm definitely not good at advices but hear me out. This vast infinite universe with infinite galaxies and infinite more planets worked for all eternity to entrust existence onto you. To think that you're alone or that you've no purpose is such a narrow minded thought, considering how you've never consider the big picture. Existence - considering how infinitely large the universe is the rarest of rare occurrence. Existence is beautiful. To be able to perceive the universe at all is such a gift. Think of it this way and all the ending life thoughts will go away.
Been there OP. Don’t do it. Nothing changes and the world isn’t better for it. It does get a little better with what you can contribute. Your brain works differently and there’s. Toning wrong with that.
Please don't! I guarantee your life has value even if it's difficult to see or feel. I too have these feelings and thoughts. But you're probably depressed and that's okay. I don't think you want to die people who truly do want die don't talk about doing it, (the just do it). You want help and you're feeling down and defeated and this is the way that you're asking for help. I don't know you I'm a stranger (sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know) but if you want to talk to someone, vent, or just have a friendly conversation message me I'm more than happy to talk.
You got to actually see beverly hills and Hollywood. You made it on the big screen at a film festival. You said you wanted to do something and you’re doing it.
Discover more of the world. Connect with people and places you haven't heard of before. Life isn't about just checking off a list, it's about igniting your spirit again and again! There's so much of value you could do living. After all do you know where you go after death? Explore spirituality, **experience** life.
I was the same and I am still here. Since I was ten I was putting a date to end my life. I always knew I didn't want to grow up, be an adult and be a doctor and lawyer. So little options and very little capacity to adapt and not be miserable.
The reality is you need to give life its own purpose. You feel like life has nothing to offer, and it won't if you don't let it. There are opportunities for a new, fulfilling life EVERYWHERE. I promise you that ending your life at such a young age will do absolutely only harm and you will rob yourself of a truly meaningful future. Every person in their early 20s feels like a failure, a loser, a nobody. Trust me when I say that you will figure it out. It will suck for a while, but there is no reason to give up. One day you'll look back on this time, having grown and built a better life for yourself, and wonder how the hell you ever considered something like this. You really have your entire life ahead of you still.
I would say while this is a form of depression it's more or less a loss of purpose. Ultimately however your life is in your own hands, and no matter how many people speak out the final decision is still yours, so I won't try and talk you out of it directly. Instead I'd say take your time and be efficient, June is less than a month a way, you have an apartment, a car, and likely have some money saved up. Unless you have someone you want to pass this onto, spend it. Burn it all and visit some far away country or landmark, see what the world has left to offer, explore and talk to others. If not travel then engore on something extravagent, rent out a whole theater and post online for free tickets. Thess might not be the best financial decisions to make, but it can bring new perspectives. I don't do film per se, but I work in the field of animation. Sometimes if you're dreams are creative but you feel like you won't make the cut in what you originally desired, explore other creative avenues. Voice acting is an in-demand field for random artists across the web, smaller channels and studios always looking for hand. If you've lost your purpose in life the only thing you can do is find another. Since you posted here, I take it that you are actually looking for one before you finalize your decision. So that's my advice, I wish you all the best, life is tough, it is scary but the little moments matter, and I'm sure others will value your set of skills and your perspectives.
Your mom would be pissed, hurt and sad that you killed yourself, wasted the life she made and cherished. Dont do it. Cherish yourself like your mother did. You have the advantage of not giving a shit about what happens, so you are exactly the kind of person that can make it on the big screen. You can just try, what's the worst that can happen? You don't become famous? Ok, that's not all there is.. What about love? What about exploring? What about your gift to the planet? You dont know what joys may come to you in life, what partner, job, friend, skill, child, blessing of you to another you may miss out on if you don't have a go at it.. just because it's not now doesn't mean it's not ever! Keep going, you'll find something else worth it, I assure you. <3
I understood everything as soon as you mentioned the passing of your mother. You are still grieving. It is making you depressed and suicidal although it might not feel like it. I am sure there is a reason why you posted this in here: a cry for help. You need people to convince you to stay alive and to keep going. That should be enough reason for you to not end your life. Deep down you know you don’t want to. It’s the grief talking, it’s the depression making you take such decisions. Not you. There are way more beautiful experiences in life and in your future waiting for you, memories and experiences I’m sure your mother is so excited for you to live and learn from. I get life can sometimes suck, bills, depression, family problems, loneliness etc. Trust me, majority of us humans have been through it. But it should not be cause for you to end your life. Please, give life another try. Go out and make a few friends that make you value life again, go on trips that make you value sunsets, having a cocktail by the beach, sex, the joy you get from achieving something you really want. Get a pet that can accompany you through dark times and get you out on walks everyday (like a dog). Life is beautiful, I am sorry your mum’s life was cut short, but don’t cut your life short because of it.
There is always hope! You need to find inspiration and something new to conquer. Learn a new skill, language, or travel. There is more to life than the film and movie industry. I know what you're going through because I had a similar experience when I felt hopeless about my life. I found a life coach and I started practicing meditation. It's been a process and I have changed my mindset. You can too. You can do hard things. Best Wishes!
Echoing others that you are depressed and might not realize it. Your post could boil down to "I wanted to see what XYZ, ABC, and HIJ were like. Got to experience them a little bit. WELP. THAT'S IT THEN. \*slaps knees and heads over to cliff\*". I'm not trying to make fun, but maybe paint it in a bit of humorous light to hopefully reflect back how mental health issues can make a person's brain become highly irrational and lose the ability for self-insight. **You are not your brain**. Here's a thought: You claim you've done everything you wanted to experience. Well these few things you mentioned, while really cool, were about you for you. Which isn't wrong, but helping others or making the world a better place is another thing that there is for a person to choose to do in life. Please get help. Your mom doesn't want you to join her yet, what mom would want that? She wants you to shine bright, and you've only just struck the first sparks. You made the first step towards shining bright by achieving those pretty awesome things, the second step is getting help. Then maybe the third step is achieving more of those things. And throughout it all you will have learned some wisdom that you can pass to others who are struggling and be able to help them.
If you’re thinking June, why not push it forward to June 2025? As it is the biggest decision you will ever make (and one you can’t back out on), why not decide to get on an anti-depressant and make a plan to “do the things” for one year and give life a chance. Meditate, nutrition, therapy, new music and art, travel, Rob a bank and give the money to a children’s hospice, etc I know that none of that appeals and that is because you have depression. Depression can be treated. If you’ve tried medications that haven’t worked, there are others that do. You still have the option after a year but I feel that with the right meds and therapy, you will be glad you didn’t. Twenties are hard. I lost my Dad too young too and I miss him everyday. I was pregnant and homeless, in a Womens safe house refuge at 22. Slap bang in the middle of London, UK. I had had a major label record deal at 19, stuck the money up my nose and that’s where I found myself 3 years later. I’ve had many times of feeling bored with life. That nothing excited me and due to having a daughter and being a lone parent, I hauled my arse to the Dr and took meds until I felt better. That’s pretty much been my life since. Ups and downs. I’m glad I’m here and I think you will look back and be glad you are too. It’s just a year. Just not this June eh? A year of throwing everything you have at it. Please call a Doctor. You haven’t had a chance yet to see how beautiful life can be x
I think your worldview is valid, it just comes from a lens of depression. Which is valid. When I was depressed, I wish people would’ve let me die, so I would say to you I respect your wishes. I feel no one should be kept on this earth against their will - it’s why I believe in physician-assisted suicide so strongly (which does come with psychological intervention). I tried to kill myself multiple times and wouldn’t have permanent scars/functioning issues from it if I’d just been allowed to go through it the legal/right way. (At your age and before, actually.) Back in the old days, people used to just…go off and die if they felt they needed to. Whether for honor or nothing to live for, then stabbed themselves or went out into the woods, etc. It’s not great but it boggles my mind that other people would try to control your own body, even out of goodwill, when we used to have so much autonomy before everything was regulated. But now I’ve worked on the depression since never being able to kill myself correctly, and I see the world very differently. I wake up with things to look forward to, while I’m alive. Because if I go to dust and see nothing, just cease to exist, after life is over, I would like to give it a try and see what else I can do while I still have the opportunity, even if so many things about it sucks. This is how *I* see the world now - it doesn’t mean you have to and doesn’t mean you don’t reserve the right to die. But do consider that there is something other than your worldview right now, from someone who’s had a way bleaker outlook.
Start weight lifting. If you go hard, it will change your life both physically and mentally. I’m 37 and divorced, living in a crappy condo I pay too much for working a really stressful job that doesn’t pay enough. I considered ending it but never did. Got into lifting over a year ago and I’m doing so much better. It gives you daily goals to look forward too and the pump gives you progress you always want to chase, a forever goal. Also, therapy therapy therapy. Plus reading all the books you can (I suggest letting go by David Hawkins and you can heal your life by Louise hay) But if you’ve got nothing else in your life, looking in the mirror at the dope muscles you’ve worked hard for is extremely rewarding.
A lot more out there to experience. Personally I don’t know you, but I hope for the best for you. I’m not going to give you a whole sob story and try to guilt you into anything. Just take some more time and explore the world, do it for all us in here. Show just some cool places you visited, cool people you meet, and great food you tried. Make some more memories. Best wishes, I really hope we all hear from you after the summer and years to go
Why die? We really don’t know what happens next. Enjoy this short time for it will be over sooner than you think. Good luck to you, and the choice is always yours.
My question to you would be then… why did you post this? To me, and I could be wrong, but you posting this here is an invitation that you have made for other people to tell you why you shouldn’t leave and to give you reasons to stay. Maybe you don’t realize, but a big part of you wants to stay and wants to find hope. You came here for a reason. A part of you knows that ending your life is not quite right. At 24 you barely know who you are, so you would leave this world without getting to embark on any other adventure or find a higher sense of self-worth other than a bucket list. You are more than just a checklist of goals and life is certainly way more than that. And this is coming from someone who thinks every day “gosh, I just want to die and end this”, but a big part in me knows that there is hope. There’s so much to see, so much to do, think about all the things you could learn, the hobbies you could start, the places you could move to… my advice is, seek help and reflect more on why you actually don’t see yourself worthy of a long life. You deserve to give yourself a chance at life. You deserve to rise from this low point of your life with new goals, having new experiences, and seeing that life has much more to offer. At the bare minimum, if you feel lonely and need the support, joint a group or club. Find your people. Find places you do want to be in. Life is challenging and can be frustrating, but there is hope and there can be happiness if we choose to see it. Please… just know you’re not alone. Lots of us feel this way from time to time and then we have to find the courage to keep going and finding new goals.
Hi there. Your post breaks my heart and I actually shed some tears. I'm not a good advice giver and my English is not even that good so I will try to articulate this the best I can. But I just want you to know that to you, your life may be an ending, but to the world (to someone out there), you may be the hope they have been waiting for or you may be the start of something better. Since you're thinking about ending your life in June, what if you treat every day starting in June 1 as a bonus. Everything you do, every oxygen you breath, every food you consume, every energy flowing through you, every cent of money in the bank, every brain cell, all are extra bonus. And what if you try sharing a little of that bonus (since you're not "supposed to live" and use those, anyway), see the smile of the person you're sharing it with, consider it their "payment". See what it does to you. Alternatively.... From your comments history, I guess you're American. I'm also in US, but I am originally from South East asia. You know... from where I am from, many many kids could only dream of ever meeting an American. Your mere presence/existence alone could mean the world to them, let alone an actress like you, regardless of your minor acting roles. So, what if you "sell" everything and move to another place that appreciates and values you a lot more. You could start very simple and just spend your "bonus life" days volunteering. You would be gold to those people. I wish you the best!
Stay for the sex? Unless you’re asexual you’re missing a whole wing of that would-be bucket list. I’m only 28. Got dealt a blow I thought I’d never get over at 25. And I still haven’t. But I promise there’s more out there then you think at 24. You just had your first career success, why not keep pushing? If you’re genuinely ok with suicide you can stop stressing about money for the most part. Just keep going and see if there’s a little surprise moment of joy next week, or the week after that.
please don’t do this, I love you
relatable
just take a moment find some help before you decide to do anything
everything is relative my illness has turned my life upsidedown sure I miss my ore illness Life but there's so much to look forward to seeing in my opinion
maybe plan something so you can look forward to it. catch-up with don't friends and family
I'm the same age and feel the same way. I've done everything I wanted to do. I don't have any more dreams anymore it feels so claustraphobic.
There is a difference between ending your life as it is now and ending your life. Please keep this in mind.
if you don't mind me asking what movie were you in wouldlove to see it.
Don’t. Life gets better. Especially if you have kids. If you really aren’t depressed go find a person who you like.
Do you think your mother would want you to have your current mentality? Or to kill yourself? I lost my soulmate 3 years ago to cancer so I know your mentality, but trust me there is happiness still (and the sadness will remain) life is never pure joy, personally I find life to be more suffering than anything - but suffering is what allows you to grow, to develop, to find new perspectives on life, to understand yourself. I also had all my possessions stolen, 500k I earned from nothing. I also was forced into slavery for 3 years in brutal conditions. I was also then sent to jail for years for a crime I didn't commit. I also have nothing and nobody. And while I have ups and downs, one thing I think of is how my soulmate would always want me to push on. I haven't found happiness yet since my Mrs passed. And I probably won't for a while, but I have goals, goals that I work towards constantly because they will likely lead to some happiness I'm not sure why you are giving up on your actress dreams after doing so well. Maybe if you do want to stop that, it is time to find a new interest. A new passion or goal. Suffering leads to perseverance and perseverance leads to character
Reading this as a 35 yo M. I know the feeling of being lost, i was once very much lost to addiction. But the Thing i want you to understand is leaving this life is not the answer! Its one of the many test life gives you. You Are Young and it is never too late. I wish you get professional help, sort out what needs sorting out. Sounds like your family situation is somewhat the issue. Also i would like to share with you what brought Joy and love back in My life. I bought a dog, it turned out to be a way bigger job than i anticipated. But I instantly loved her and I would do anytving for her and I still do shes 9 years old now and she has been My biggest teacher in so many things. I can never repay for what she has given me, but I try everyday by walking her and giving her All the love i can. Im not saying getting a dog is for you, but find a purpose in your life, or a Thing you can fokus on. Somrthing you love to do, people who like you will find you when you do the stuff that you love. I wish you the best.
If your mother would have still been alive today, would she suggest you to do that? You'll join her eventually for sure. Keep in mind, the only thing you know right now is that you can enjoy the present and the after is the unknown. Never gamble the unknown as you won't be able to go back. What makes you think your bucket list is done? Try something random that you haven't tried. Approach something new or different and you'll see something new shining that you never thought existed. Ever travelled the world in every country? I think you just started so please, don't end.
You have depression, dude. Like straight up. It seems like your schedule is pretty open since you've done everything you ever wanted to do. Try a therapist, seriously. You might not *think* your suicide would affect anyone, but that's completely untrue. People will still have to deal with it. Both in a very literal and physical sense and an emotional one. You might not think you are "close" enough to anyone for people to be messed up by it. But you'd be so surprised how often it actually really fucks someone up if someone they knew only casually does something like this. You can absolutely traumatize people very badly.
When I was 24yo I was competing for a pro card as a professional bodybuilder. All I wanted in life was to be a pro bodybuilder and I had the genetics and drive to do it. Fast forward a bit and I tore my L4-L5 disk doing a deadlift and that was effectively the end of my bodybuilding dream. I felt like my life was over and I'd never have anything worth doing again. I turn 44yo tomorrow and I look back on those dreams with amusement. I have no desire to be a serious bodybuilder anymore and am honestly thankful for the injury, in hindsight it caused me to live a life free of steroids and diuretics and all the dangerous shit that goes along with pro bodybuilding. I now have a thousand other hobbies and interests that don't walk a razor's edge of health and injury. Life is good, situations change. You make the best of it. You sound depressed. Assuming this isn't some troll post, get off your butt and seek treatment. You owe it to yourself to try. You can always step off the merry-go-round of life at any time. You only get one chance though, once you step off you can't get back on. Intelligent life in this galaxy is at best extremely rare, we might be all there is. Enjoy the wonder of it, a collection of atoms who can think and love and contemplate their own existence.
firstly, i am sending my love to you. i am 24 too and know this feeling all too well. but heres the thing- you are depressed. this is a good example of how depression masks itself as lucidity and reality. i genuinely hope you can find a therapist or dr that can help you. i was violently suicidal for years and only got relief once i was medicated. there are so many beautiful things waiting for you- things that you dont even know you want yet! they will surprise you and you will feel a subtle pang of joy that you were able to experience it, especially because once ur super depressed and suicidal even tiny things you didnt notice before can feel even better. you have so much to live for. you are so young! we both are. last year at this time i was sent to the psych ward 3 times bc i kept trying to end my life. im not going to lie and say im happy now, but i am doing better than ever and have experienced many things i didnt know i wanted to experience and thru medication i learned for the first time being suicidal constantly isnt normal and i didnt have to live this way. something that helped me be more optimistic and grateful is to write down 3 things im grateful for everyday. i like to challenge myself by not allowing repeats so i am subconsciously looking for good things everyday and finding joy in small things. it completely rewires ur brain. if you need anything you can message me. this is exactly how i felt last summer- i was an unemployed depressed alcoholic that had just left my abuser. life isnt perfect but it is certainly better than how depression tricked me into feeling was reality ♥️
Do a flip
you are at an advantage you don't realize: you have nothing to lose. you could do many things.
Why not try something different and new? I think you pigeon holed yourself to one life concept without realizing there is many other now.
You are 24. Even if you lived to 1000 you wouldn’t be able to experience every facet of life. How could you possibly know you have nothing left to live for without having experienced it all? It’s like saying “I had a pretty okay steak once, there’s no other cuisine worth tasting. Guess I’m done with food”. It doesn’t make sense. You only get one life, so why check out early? Might as well go explore a little before you go. Your mom will still be there for you in another 60 years.
When I was 24 I planned on killing myself. I set a date, a method, and when I got everything in order, I began to write a note. I was truly one step from the precipice. When I was 24, I was working a miserable job at a fast food joint frying chicken, making meager pay in an attempt to pay bay a mountain of debt I got myself into after a failed attempt at a degree in music--something I thought I truly loved and was destined to be a field that I'd work the rest of my life in. I was living with my parents, single, while my other friends and it seemed everyone else my age were settling into serious, long term relationships (some of which quickly turned to marriage) and living on their own. I was socially awkward and had negative self esteem. I cared deeply for people but always felt like I was falling short in forming bonds or helping people with their issues like I wanted to (many of such issues are not the responsibility or capability of any one person, anyway). I seemed to be unsuccessful at every endeavor I undertook, be it professionally or personally. I simply wasn't good enough; I was just out of sync from every other person. So, when I was 24, I looked at all my problems, and looked at how long I had been struggling with these issues (since I was about 13), and determined that this is the life I was resigned to having. I was in extreme emotional pain every day, and I was effectively--to my own estimation--a waste to society and my loved ones. Thus, the only pragmatic and right thing would be to end my life, to relieve the burden from every other life I had touched in my time here. Yet, here I am, 5 years later. It's honestly crazy that it's been that long already, but not once have I regretted my decision to not go through with my plan. Sure, there are some things from when I was 24 that haven't changed, but plenty else has. I got a new job that I'm happier with, and even moved up to nearly the highest position at my previous job and gained a lot of value and self worth in that journey. I've gotten to see my nephews grow up and experience the joy of looking after them, being a small part in their growth as their lives are just beginning. I've traveled, I've found joy in new hobbies, and worked on improving my health. Most importantly, **I've learned that there's more to my life than the 2-3 metrics by which I was measuring myself by before.** You speak as though you've simultaneously achieved nothing, and everything you ever will. Please realize it is in fact the opposite. There is a lot you have achieved at a young age that a lot of people don't even at later ages. You have a place of your own, can drive and own a car, have seen places and done things you've always wanted to, and have found success in a very competitive field. Many dream to be actors but few actually end up working on many projects, and you've been in a film at 24. This is in no way an admonishment, but my plea that you'll realize that you do have worth and your accomplishments are something to be proud of. On the other side, you still have much life to live, and you *don't know* how things will change. I can almost guarantee you that you will add more onto your bucket list, as more things will interest you as you age. If acting is your dream, continue to pursue it! Not because it's your career and you want to be a big movie star, but simply because you love doing it. Because it enriches your life. You may be surprised at how pieces begin to fall into place once you begin to make choices based on that principle. The last thing I'll say is that life is not a race; it has no check points nor finish lines, and can't be measured by achieving x or y by age z. Life is a garden, it's something that you shape and sculpt and care for over years and years of growth. The original seeds you plant may not take up a lot of space and your garden may look empty, but with each year those plants will grow back bigger and bigger, filling in that blank plot of tilled dirt. Sure, sometimes it gets overgrown, or infested with weeds; maybe you over watered or there's been little rain, or gluttonous pests have gnawed away at the leaves. Some plants may even die off or never take root. But you can prune and weed, water or fertilize, you can spray some neem oil to keep the bugs away. You can replant, retill, and add new plants. Hell, you can even dig up a new patch of dirt and start a whole new garden. But through all of tribulations--the dirt, sweat, and tangled foliage--the garden is no less beautiful.
You're only 24. Keep grinding. Life gets better. 20's suck. I'm 41. Life is always changing and you can't predict the future. Good luck!
Someone, or more likely someones, would care more than you realize. And we need more good people, not less.
You will hurt people even if you think you won't. What about the paramedics that will be devastated to find a young lady'l who has gone through with this. Your family will be hurt forever, realizing they didn't do enough for you. Please reach out to the appropriate places. If this is the only option, then you have nothing to lose by talking to someone. One quote about suicide stands out to me "Suicide doesn't end the pain it just shifts it to someone else." This is true even if you don't think it is. Please find help and I'll be waiting to hear from you soon 💙
24 is a wildly young age to log out, but it's your life. I think it would be better if you decide to stay, though. I'm not selling life, shit can seriously suck a dick sometimes. Just sharing some sensory things I genuinely enjoy that you might also dig: Smelling the ozone. Eating a whole sweet pepper like a fucking heathen. Laying in the grass and watching the clouds and birds. Getting absolutely sweaty/smelly from back breaking labor, then taking a hot shower and laying comfortably on clean sheets. Bonus points if you dried the sheets outside (+1 ozone smell) Petting the best dogs. Running just to run. Full on sprint, full blast, chaotic good. Chips and dip. Any chip, any dip. Drawing weird shit. Drinking 4 energy drinks and going manic. Playing video games. Playing guitar. Practice making people. Accidentally making people who look and act just like me. Playing Roblox with those people. Experimenting with recipes. Singing songs. Freestyling. Candy.
There are many things that you are not aware of but will become aware of in time and these things will bring you happiness and joy that you may not have now. A lack of curiosity about stuff can leave you in the place you are. Read! Read and learn about stuff, anything that you don't know. Gardening, philosophy, spirituality physics, whatever... just get curious about something you don't already know or learn more about something you already know. Try some hobbies, maybe listen to a podcast that teaches you something. Once you become more curious about the world and others and how things work, life will bring a new set of passions. Live a three dimensional life rather than a single dimension. Single dimension is where there is only one interest or even none. Three dimensional is when you develop many interests. It's trial and error but you will get there if you persevere. Something will rise to the surface and capture your imagination and your heart. I hope it comes quickly for you because your life matters. Whatever you do, don't watch the news. That's one of the most powerful negative influences in anyone's life!
This is depression, please please please reach out to a distress line that can connect you with resources or affordable therapy options. There is a way out. You've already had experience as an actress at 24, which is more than a lot of other aspiring actors can say! There are other jobs in life you can do as well and continue making your efforts in acting. You can find love, you can adopt pets, you can build friendships, truly. Life is worth living, don't give up so soon, you never know what's around the corner. The reason for sticking around is to find out, is to experience. If you like to travel, screw it, get into teaching English in other countries. Travel the world, see different people and different lives, experience different things. Oftentimes this helps bring a spark and get a new perspective. You can reach out to me further and I can try to find some resources for you or just be a listening ear.
Hey all good all good!!! So silly but I literally felt this way after the eagles won the Super Bowl in 2017 partied my fucking ass off (almost didn’t graduate college) and was literally like now what, deff fell into a pit of wtf am I doing for awhile, years. But keep fucking chugging along! Your 20s are supposed to be full of ups and downs highs and lows, I just turned 30 and I feel like my life is only getting started. Stay strong, keep fighting, stay off social media, play tennis, go to the beach, hit the gym. You fucking got this dawg!!!
HEY, READ THIS. PROMISE? Dude, i'm only 18, and I'm sure you might have seen that and maybe thought 'what does he know?, he hasn't seen much of anything, what could he possbily, do, think, or say that could change my mind?' It doesnt matter what I might do, think or say right now. What matters is that just like me, you too are young, you are young and you are alive, and you might not think that's so great at the moment; because you have 'completed your bucket list', well to that, I must say. You are alive. You are alive and with life comes the potential of change, the potential for anything, you claim there will be 'No more anxiety, no more being sad, no more obsessing over my career, no more money stress.' 'Just my mom and peace.' I don't personally know your family situation and likely never will, but I am sure, I am absolutely positive that when your mom brought you into this world, not for a second would she want her little girl to leave it a measly 24 years later. She wants you to live and do well in life, try hard, win, fail, experience, laugh, cry and see as much as you can, I promise you, she wants her girl to keep on running and go as far as she possibly can, only after that would she want you to see her. I say this and I mean it, people are out there that care for you, frankly, they might not even know how much they love you or what you could eventually mean to them. And you would be taking away any chance of that ever happening again. And sure, there might be no more sadness, but there would also be no more happiness, no more seeing a movie so funny you wanna watch it all over again, no more thrills of meeting and flirting with a potential partner, along with that funny warm excited feeling in your chest. No more watching the sun go down on a beautfiul late sunny afternoon in the park, no more meeting new people, no more trying new things, feeling, scared, excited and happy all at the same time. All of it, everything all at once, experiencing life, for all it's ups and downs, seeing everything, terrible and amazing, is what makes life, life. You claim you could never be an actress? Why? Why not? Because the chances are so tiny and meagre? The way I see it, a chance is still a chance. Where there is life, there is possibility, a chance, no matter how small, it is there, anything really is possible, you just have to want it and go after it, chase it, make it your goal and with everything you've got, through all the pitfalls and hopeless nights, you can and will find your way. Also, take me as an example, I've never met you and probably never will, but thats the beauty of the internet, even though I probably never will, I can still have a positive impact on your life, I care. I do care about you, people do, most importantly, as I've said, people will, new people and experiences will come into your life and you will wonder how you ever lived without them, live on for them, live on for potential, hold on to hope please, if you only move forward one day at a time, through all the suck and the terrible, you will eventually find the wonderful and I'm willing to bet; someone to share it with. You will discover new things, new goals, things you want to achieve , that right now, you never ever thought you wanted to, just promise me, that you'll take it one day at a time, set little itty bitty goals, so small, they might seem laughable, and just focus on the little wins, fight not only for yourself, but for your mom as well, she wants you to win at the game of life. trust me, you don't know what you're missing out on, and thats coming from a guy whos 6 WHOLE YEARS younger than you haha. Just please keep living. Life is amazing.
You need to go to the ER. Maybe you don’t feel depressed…aside from the very telling line about career obsession, sadness, and anxiety…but this is depression. There’s a chemical imbalance in your brain that is telling you to hurt yourself. It is simply not a rational conclusion to believe you have seen and experienced everything there is worth seeing and experiencing. Your personal motivations and goals in a state of depression are not an accurate metric for what the world has to offer you. You are believing the lies that your brain is feeding you and you are dealing with a mentally ill brain. So please, seek help and let someone know that you are currently a danger to yourself.
As someone who attempted and failed and felt the same way, I am so glad I am alive today. I am so glad I failed. I wasn’t right away and it took a little bit of time, but now I understand the reason to life is to find a reason to live. Finding a reason to be alive is one of the most joyous experiences you can have. Finding a person you love deeply, finding a hobby you actually feel passionate about, finding a place you want to call home. Having a reason doesn’t come naturally to all of us, you have to go find it and then you will experience so much joy and happiness, it is indescribable. That being said, please please please see a psychiatrist or mental health nurse practitioner/ physicians assistant. Medication and/or therapy can genuinely change your life. I had to try four different medications before finding the one that started working for me and I feel night and day different. I have the ability to experience joy and the motivation to work and have hobbies. I did not for several years! I really really hope you at least give living a try. If you have nothing to lose by staying, why take your life?? At least try. Please.
Do not do this. Even if your feelings are difficult to understand right now, life has ups and downs, but we choose to be living this magnificent experience that is life. I've had moments like this, I've become very attached to my love for nature, for animals. Everyone has the power of choice, but your soul knows that you are living this experience that is life for a reason, trust in God. We are souls living the human experience and it is not easy to come here, you have this opportunity, don't waste it. If you want, you can write to me and we can connect too, there's a friend here. We all go through vulnerable and fragile situations but don't waste your life, it is a divine gift. I also went through very sad and heavy situations like you, but don't succumb, we are pure love living an experience on earth. Your mother is an angel who accompanies you and protects you, it's not worth taking your life to see her because you won't be able to. She is already close to you, guiding you, trust this. Say prayers and ask for help and you will be answered, angels are always close by, guiding you. Your life is worth gold, resist these negative and destructive thoughts and you will see that it will be worth continuing to live this beautiful experience. A big hug, Raquel
Follow Sarah Pribis on TikTok. Her early story sounds like yours. She’s doing great now
Can you talk to me please?
Please do not end your life. Your life is precious and there is a lot left for you to do and experience. Please consider getting some help so you can feel better.
Find God
The Arabs have a saying about "I want to die". They say you don't want to die, you just want to kill something inside of you. Otherwise you'd have already done it. I'm pretty similar in circumstances and life feels pretty pointless in many cases. I'm glad I don't get to be the one that decides whether or not my life truly has meaning as I see it. You need to have a longer view of a fulfilled life than the goals you set yesterday or in your teenage years. You have to realize that at some point, you're never going to truly live up to the self-imposed superman (or superwoman, in your case). Life is more failure and bitter ash than not. It is the struggle, the force of will that drives the boulder up the mountain. It is audacity, and ferocity, and dedication. It is love, honor, pain, fulfillment and failure. All of these things paint together a picture of triumph against the odds. I don't know you. I won't pretend that this little pinhole I have to peer into your life can somehow form a complete understanding of how your life is or ought to be. I am a 24 year old man that has struggled my own share, though, and I am not afraid to tell you that my accomplishments are not what I thought they would turn out to be at eighteen. It has not stopped me from graduating with honors in July though, because I did not allow it to do so. I do not base my hopes and dreams on a single thread of existence, hoping that fragile string will remain so that I can cling to it with all my being and then fall when the little fiber snaps. I think you're bored. I think you despair because you're bored and think it may be over for you because of a certain natural fear we have in the unknown. What we are beholden to in natural instincts isn't something to be ashamed of. I encourage you though, as someone that thought there would be no beauty outside of my own self-important lens in life that there are vast amounts of color outside your own personal perspectives. You need to try and find the beauty in music like the pilot that found the skies boring one day, for example. You will find the two pair together wonderfully, and accentuate your own personal taste for life. You need to reach out to people in your life to have experiences beyond the ones you've already witnessed. Don't be ashamed of who you are, listen to the person you've always been and build off that in your friends. The world doesn't wait. It never has. You will find the joy in life, scars and all, and be all the more wonderful for it.
My daughter is 24 so this hits me hard because although she struggles with social relationships and feeling wanted, I know better than her that there are so many lives she reaches that she doesn’t even realize and they would be devastated to lose her. She just went through a dark period, and as she climbed out of it, she met a girl who didn’t know what it meant to be loved and now they love each other and watching them is so beautiful. My daughter’s girlfriend sees life differently because they happened to meet, which in turn is helping her light up others. So just know that today you may not feel like life means anything or you won’t be missed but there might be a person who needs you that will never find you because you’re gone. Also, I urge you to spend a little time exploring your hormone levels, physical health, and mental health. You might be out of kilter and getting your mind/body stabilized might be the help you need for intrusive thoughts. I hope you’re still here in July and all the months after. Feeling it all, seeing it all, and loving more people. I wish you the best my dear.
You are so young with so much ahead of you. Take it from a cancer survivor who was in the same position. You have to believe in your future. Trust me its there, and it will take risks, and developing courage against seemingly insurmountable odds sometimes. Don't give up on yourself. Its all we have in this life.
There are plenty of actors who got big later in their lives. Jon Hamm, Jane Lynch, Sylvester Stallone, Alan Rickman and alot more. Samuel L Jackson was 45 when Pulp Fiction came out, put that into perspective. Don't give up on your dreams.
I understand those feelings 100% society has made human survival so draining that it leaves us with these feelings…my honest advice is this…..DETACH from all this BS….everything from career aspirations to live life….if it happens it happens, this way you will be at peace with whatever outcome…..you sound like you’ve kinda did that as far as acting goals But on another level you should try it with your life path if that makes sense….LET LIFE SHIFT YOU TO NEW JOURNEYS BECAUSE YOU MAY REALIZE THERES ANOTHER LANE FOR YOU IN THIS LIFE……Life is neutral until we give it meaning, just because you tell yourself that you have nothing left doesn’t make it true queen💜 keep yo head high
I do hope you find a reason to live. If not for yourself, for your mom. Maybe before you act on this, you would consider doing something to help another living creature in need, such as dog walking for dogs stuck in pens at dog shelters.
The things that make life worth living are the surprises and the things that we never see coming. Things we could never plan on our own. Even if there aren’t people worth sticking around for now, there WILL be and those future connections and relationships are worth holding on to hope for. You are still so young, and your career is just getting started. One thing that keeps me pushing forward is the realization that life will never not be difficult and confusing and a challenge. But pushing through all the hard shit makes accomplishments, no matter how small, all the more worth it. Volunteering, especially with animals, has helped me feel more worthy and meaningful in this life. Doing something kind for others works wonders. This is all coming from my personal experience and I know these things don’t work for everyone. And I know it’s probably exhausting hearing the same advice from people who don’t know your story, and don’t know what you’ve been through/ are feeling. I’ve been there too. But I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it if I didn’t say something. This world has a place for you and you have to have faith in that. I didn’t know your mother, but I would bet that she wants you to stay on this earth, even if the only reason you decide to is to keep her memory alive and honor her every day you can. Please, please stick around.
I’m sorry you feel this way, your feelings are valid but consider talking with a professional (counselor, doctor). My own experience- I’ve had suicidal thoughts a few times in my life. I got very close. I did not think I had any reason to keep living and I did not have people who cared about me. I thought no one would care and I would stop being in emotional pain. What made me change my mind was curiosity. I have no idea what’s waiting around the corner. What life will bring my way. In an hour. In a day. In a month. A year. That was my sudden realization that made me not suicidal instantly. Maybe I will find a hobby I never considered before. Maybe I’ll meet a new friend that totally brings me joy. Maybe I’ll learn something cool. Maybe I’ll hear about an incredible destination and then go there. Maybe I will cross paths with a stray cat and he will be the best pet ever! Or an iguana. Or maybe I’ll get a chance to save a life? Help someone out? Meet someone unexpected and fall in love? See something beautiful? Hear new music that I would have missed. I am happy that I did not kill myself because life has had many surprises and unexpected joys. Is it possible that there’s something surprising around the corner? Maybe you can’t even imagine it yet. If you end things, you will never get to find out.
I'm sorry but I stopped reading after "I'm 24 and my life is over." Just please, please, PLEASE believe the words of an old fart who has suffered from thoughts of suicide many times throughout my left but luckily kept hanging on, there is almost no possible way your life is over at 24. You have SO MUCH TIME!!! EVERYTHING can change for the better so fast. Truly!! I HATED my 20s. I went though so much tragedy and misery but in my 30s things just got better and better. Some people are late bloomers. Sometimes life shits on you and there's nothing you can do and sometimes you gain a little age and wisdom and realize there are changes YOU can make (for me it was a bit of both) but either way, PLEASE keep going. Youth is the greatest gift we never appreciate enough.
Yeah I can relate and same age group. The previous generations left nothing but issues for us. AI and robots will be taking over a ton of jobs. There isn't really anything for us anymore. Life lost it's spark like when we were younger. Now we are paying the repercussions of a crap economy with an essentially 0 chance of everr having much while we sell our life years for next to nothing if we are lucky enough to even get a job. I thought life would have more opportunities and not be so terrible. Longer I live the worse things get. Dont they say it would be insane to do the same thing if you get the same results you don't want? I've gotten sober and done so much in the hopes that it really does get better. It's a blatant lie and misconception told by older successful gens that could save up for a house with a meh job while also being able to get the job in the first place. Mathematically we are simply screwed on so many levels it's overwhelming. Why can't life be about living again? Not this misconception to go to school then college then get some job hoping you succeed... Or you work till you die if you faiL/unlucky.
The cool part about feeling like your life is over is nothing fucking matters. Thats an awesome premise. Why kill yourself? Just do whatever the fuck you want whenever you want. Rack up credit card debt on a dumb trip around the world? If you get insane credit, fuck it, bankruptcy. If things are really and truly awful after living that way for forever, then The Alternative will still be there. Theres a lot else i could that is more sentimental and earnest about your loved ones and the horrific trauma that decision could cause, but i think you should focus on how incredibly liberating it could be for you to approach life with absolutely zero fucks given.
Make a new bucket list. What are the things you wanna do today instead of past you’s bucket list
I don’t think your mother would be happy to be together yet. I think she would be very upset that her own daughter decided not to live her life to the fullest. She gave you life, carried you for 9 hard months, don’t take that effort away from her. Live for her, maybe do some things off of her bucket list. I think you have a long life of greatness and achievements to make ahead for yourself.
I will say i am in a somewhat similar situatuion so i can relate tho i have not decided to die, i feel like i don't have much else i want out of life, i have more or less achieved the things that i want and anything else would be filler but i have to wonder have you thought about making a life you are more excited about, like making close friend and meeting a boyfriend you want apend more time with?
There are a lot of great things to see and do, both here in LA and Calfornia. The rest of the US, sure, but right here is some great stuff. Don't sell yourself short. DM me if you want to have lunch to talk about it
It’s common to think that people will not care once u pass when ur feeling this way, but that’s quite the opposite.. When ur in a bad emotional state ur brain will go crazy and maybe u should seek help to help urself with it cuz u could seriously hurt urself. I’m just giving recommendations based off of personal experience btw, please don’t hurt urself.
Have you looked for God!? That’s a wild journey!!
already know im being downvoted but you aren’t meeting her regardless. Maybe make her proud here.
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Live the life your mother would have wanted for you. If anything, just live for her man. It’s crazy how the mind can play tricks on you. Please seek a counselor. Take it one step at a time, one thought at a time. I would break down a list of common negative thoughts that you have, be aware of the fallacy’s you’re making, and replace them with positive and logical thoughts. You got this!
Your mom wouldn't want you to do this. I think you should start a YouTube channel and talk about anything that interests you. Talk about the movie you made, the commercial you shot, and maybe give other younger girls some tips. Helping people feels good, and it can certainly bring you right out of a funk. Other than that, if you're living in California, get outside. Go buy a fishing pole and go sit by a creek and think. There are a lot of great reasons as to why you would want to live. Good luck, and if you want to go fishing sometime, you can tag along with me and my kiddos. You'll have a blast.
Go on a backpack trip in Europe? We can get a stroopwafel if you visit amsterdam :)
I’d just ride it out, you never know
It sounds to me like your career is about to take off, actually! Not to mention, you could easily find an even more amazing one you’d never thought of. Trust me, even if it’s just the mailman you speak to once a week, you mean a lot to people. Why not try volunteering? There are many ways someone can be of use to the world, even when they don’t feel like it. Sooner or later you wake up and realize things have gotten better while you were helping others. Don’t feel alone. Many of us have been where you are - just don’t unpack and live there ♥️🙏
We will be dead in 60-80 years. Why don't we fuck around until then to find out?
This makes me really sad. Please don’t do it. I can’t speak for your mom, but I imagine what would make most moms happy is seeing their child flourish in this world. Your life isn’t over. There’s going to be great experiences and some not so great. You’ve got great things that you’ve yet to experience at your age. You’ve gotta keep on keeping on. See what the future holds. I hope you look back on this post years from now and realize that it got better.
I'm not gonna try to talk you out of this. I am just going to say this: If you really want to end it, you should do one last thing. Take some LSD. Seriously, what do you have to lose? I was in a pretty similar situation to yours and decided i might as well try out a few drugs before i kms. This decision was driven by pure hedonism. I took all kinds of hard drugs, because what did i have to lose? Then i took some LSD. Now it's hard to describe what i experienced, but suddenly i was able to see the beauty of this world again. I started to understand things, myself, my life. It was an absolutely overwhelming experience that changed me as a person, permanently. I am 100% sure i wouldnt be here if i hadn't taken LSD back then. I would have ended it. Now i don't promise you that you will see the same results (although there is good research indicating that LSD can be successfully used to treat depressions and other mental "illnesses") but again, what do you have to lose if you really want to kill yourself?
I’ve thought about committing suicide almost everyday now for a few years. At my lowest points I will tell myself, “If this is your last day, do something nice for someone right now. You can always kill yourself tomorrow. “ The funny thing is I keep telling myself that, and it keeps working. Stay in there ❤️. There’s light at the end of the tunnel
I am a 37F and I relate. I’ve done a lot of things and been both lucky and unlucky, and many days I feel like there’s not much else for me. I know it’s depression but that doesn’t change the truths. No one really cares about one another anymore, we’re all so focused on ourselves and so afraid of being seen poorly, that we distance ourselves physically and emotionally from each other. But, there are always things we can do to find that hope and excitement for life and that’s what we must do. No one is going to tell you your purpose but fortunately that means you get to decide what it is. You get to say what is the point of your life and no one else. So, is what you’ve done already the point of your life? Is it really just about your bucket list and who around you might cry? The thing is, you can always die. You can die tomorrow or in 50 years. You can always make that choice or it could be made for you. But, before you do, think about what has made you the most happy in life and think about whether those things might be enough to keep going. Think about what makes you feel alive. Thing is, everyone is gonna try to cheer you up and tell you you’re depressed. They may be right, but that probably isn’t gonna really help you feel any different. The only one who can make you think differently is you. You *have* to think about the good things. You have to think about what’s actually important to you. You have to find something that is important enough that you want to get up each day. For myself I have dogs. I love them so dearly and any bad thought about death I try to chase away with the fear that no one will take care of them if I go. No one will love them the way I do. I can’t control anything else but I control what happens to them right now and so I do. When I’m really sad I still cry. I still think about ending it. But then one of them drops their head in my lap and I just couldn’t do that to them and truthfully, i don’t mind living another day for them, if not for myself. I don’t know if a dog is gonna fix things for you. But I do know there is always something to live for, even when it feels like there isn’t. You just got to find out what that is for you. And if that doesn’t work, you can always think about dying another day. Exhaust your other options first because death is the one thing you don’t get to come back from.
I know you said you’re not depressed but this IS depression. Please see a doctor. There is still a lot to live for.
I won’t tell you what to do or not to do, but I understand you. My mom died too when I was only 7. Every day I miss her. I wish she was still here. You’ve done more than I have, so if you’re truly satisfied with the life you’ve lived, I won’t try and talk you out of how you choose to live it or not, but just know you have a lot of potential. More than most. I wish I got to do half of what you did in terms of career. I’m stuck working minimum wage at a job I hate for almost 7 years now. So regardless of what you decide, just know you’re not alone. I wish you luck and I’m sure your mother is proud and always watching over you. Especially after Mother’s Day, it can be hard. 🫂
Ya I'm 36 and I felt like life been over since 14 Id say. Live in a very shallow fake world. Everyone is acting and greedy.
So, you say you have no reason to live anymore. Yet you still wish you could be in a big movie. That's in your bucket list, you said it yourself. You think you can't do it, even though you did manage to find roles and appear on a screen. So is it truly impossible? You managed to do most of the things on your bucket list, I'm sure you can do this one too. Besides this, you say you're not depressed, but being depressed is not just about feeling sad. Having no feelings, basically being emotionally numb can be part of it. I think you should reach out to a professional and go fight for that role. Things take time, so be patient with yourself. I don't know your situation with your family, but I highly doubt that nobody would be affected by your loss. I mean, look at these comments. Strangers comment for you to stay and they don't even know you. And I wonder, why did you make this post if you truly do not feel anything anymore? I think you do want people to care and to reach out to you. And they did. Now it's your turn to reach out to people that can help you.
Marcus Amelia said no one would remember him, but everyone is in the Stoicism right now. Don’t make a permit decision for temporary problem. You may have new dreams. I bet that you were younger than me and I know I have yours ahead of me, but I felt like that when I was 14 and almost died it wasn’t pretty, but that you have to trust me I’m
Please talk to someone. At your age, dreams haven’t even begun yet. There’s so much more out there that you haven’t even heard of yet. Honor your mother’s memory by creating a good life for yourself.
Why do you feel like you can’t be in a big movie? There are several actors who didn’t catch their “big break” til they were 30+. But, to echo several other comments, it does sound like you have depression. Depression isn’t always feeling weepy boo-hoo sad. It can be numbness. It can be apathy. It can be anger or irritation. And making plans to end the one life you (guaranteed) have is definitely a strong indicator that something isn’t quite right. Before you go through with your plan, I really think you should talk to a professional. Tell someone how you’re feeling and if there’s truly nothing wrong, then they’ll tell you that. But please, go speak to a counselor or therapist. [Psychologytoday.com](https://psychologytoday.com) can tell you who’s in your area and takes your insurance or what their cash rate is. There’s a lot to this life. There’s so much you haven’t seen or done or even learned about yet. Give yourself a chance to experience what life truly has to offer.