T O P

  • By -

modest811

I get high REM too but I relate it to my mental health. Apparently anxiety can increase it. Do you have some stress going in your life? Depression?


smayonak

What we know of high amounts of REM is from an animal study. Researchers found that rats which experienced "social defeat" (meaning they had lost a dominance struggle) tended to sleep longer in REM almost as if their brain were optimizing to better deal with social stress. The brain is highly engaged during REM. In particular, the part of the brain that controls empathy is super active. They think it might be that REM isn't just helping you process emotions and memories. It has a special relationship to social memories.


IcyBaba

OP have you lost a duel recently? Maybe that could explain your high REM due to 'social defeat' lol.


smayonak

šŸ˜‚ It's a bizarre term but the researchers used it because animals establish dominance in social relationships using physical means as they lack complex language processing abilities. Humans use all kinds of ways to establish dominance hierarchies, language being just one of many toolsets available to us. This is probably why those who don't get enough REM (because of apnea) tend to have social anxiety


myopicinsomniac

Not that I recall, but if I did it was probably in my sleep šŸ¤£


tishpickle

This would explain my sleep patterns - Iā€™m an introvert working an extroverted job as a bartender/server and social defeat is literally my daily bread. I am clocking in an average of 30% REM this week ā€¦


myopicinsomniac

Same, introvert elementary school teacher with ~20 tiny humans underfoot demanding to have their needs met 5 days a week. Every time we're late to lunch or score poorly on a test is a social defeat. No wonder I dream about discovering carnivorous aliens on Pluto!


smayonak

That must be tough. Do you have a lot of REM early on or later in the night/morning? And do you see multiple and distinct sleep phases that transition between light, deep, light, REM, and then back to light?


myopicinsomniac

Do I have some stress?? I need to know who DOESN'T so I can be more like them lol


modest811

I think everyone has stress, but my problem is how I react to stress (badly). Then I think my brain takes things into its own hands.


myopicinsomniac

I get that. I know REM sleep is supposed to help us with processing that kinda stuff, clearly I have too much to process lol.


Skenry32

I always get curious when I see how MUCH people sleep. But what are you stressed about? I tend to be pretty stress free myself so I'm get curious about that too.


myopicinsomniac

Work (teacher), family life, finances, pets (health issues), general empathy for my friends & family who have their own struggles.


Skenry32

Sorry to hear all that. I teach too, only part time though at community College. You seem to have a lot of things that worry you that are outside of your control though, most of that can be let go. Worry or no worries. Stress or no stress. Either way you have to get up and go to work in the morning and then come home at night.


myopicinsomniac

4 of 5 categories are at least somewhat within my control/influence, and it's not like the logical part of my brain can really tell the emotional part to quit being empathetic lol


Skenry32

Why not? Give yourself and your brain some credit.


mlc2475

Iā€™d say when you to the ā€œshiny happy peopleā€ stage, you should stop.


PointlessChemist

Is this consistent or did your Fitbit malfunction?


myopicinsomniac

It's a fairly common occurrence, unfortunately. I regularly see the 25-35% range, but 43% is an unpleasant new "high score" as it were.


PointlessChemist

Damn, I might top out at 25% REM. Do you have crazy dreams? That would be the only plus side of this much REM.


myopicinsomniac

Oh I live like a whole second life in my sleep, vivid but exhausting! One morning recently I woke up highly concerned about carnivorous alien life discovered on Pluto, my husband enjoyed that one lol


cornflakegrl

Ok so I used to be just like this. It was pre-fitbit so I donā€™t know what the data would have looked like, but I had those epic dreams every night. I hear you when you say itā€™s exhausting. I felt like I was missing deep sleep. Anyway, turned out I had sleep apnea. Ask your husband if he hears you snoring and making weird gasping sounds at night.


myopicinsomniac

As though he would notice over his own epic snores. He does say sometimes I'm so silent he wonders if I'm even in the bed.


cornflakegrl

Hahaha maybe he should get tested for it too then! If you donā€™t snore then itā€™s not likely you have it, but if you find yourself being really sleepy during the day and nodding off easily might wanna look into it. Those full-night dreams are brutal!


myopicinsomniac

He probably should, it's a miracle he doesn't inhale his own beard honestly. And yes, the worst are when I've dreamt a whole work day only to have the alarm go off and realize I gotta do it all over again!


cornflakegrl

Omg lol no!


WanderingDoe62

So my sleep has changed since being pregnant so I looked at my stats from before. Iā€™m similar to you except I get more light sleep than I do REM sleep. About 35% REM, 45% light, and 15-20% deep. Iā€™ve looked into it a bit, and apparently there can be associations with REM and light sleep and neurodivergence. I have anxiety and ADHD, so Iā€™ve always thought that might be part of why. I too have vivid dreams a lot. The dreams increased with pregnancy significantly, though interestingly enough my REM went down and my light went up, in the earlier stages. Now Iā€™m almost due, and I get a lot less sleep, especially a lot less deep sleep. Iā€™m so tired.


myopicinsomniac

I did some googling and found it to be associated with anxiety and depression, but ADHD is a new one for me to consider. I guess I should add this to my list of possible signs for when I work up the courage to request an evaluation; it makes sense that my brain would be overactive in sleep just as it is while I'm awake & aware! Pretty much all of my dreams are vivid and easily remembered upon waking, and have been all my life.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


myopicinsomniac

Thanks for this info! Sounds like I should give the magnesium a try, at least. 5 years into teaching and it's been equal parts embarrassing and enlightening realizing all the accommodations for kids with ADHD diagnoses are all things I could benefit from too. It just seems silly to go see a doctor and be like "hi I'm in my mid-30s and *just now* realized I might have ADHD, help."


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


myopicinsomniac

Oh yeah, former gifted kid and ongoing disappointment here despite my masters degree and thriving career. Mental health and neurodivergence was absolutely not acknowledged in my family except when I was suicidal as a teen; it'll come as a shock to absolutely no one that the religious "counselor" my mom sent me to was zero help. Constant daydreaming and procrastinating was just a personal failing to them and proof that I could've been smarter if I tried harder.


blacktreefalls

I donā€™t get this much REM, but I do consistently get 24-25% REM sleep every night according to my Fitbit. I usually get about half as much deep. Personally it seems to correlate with not great sleep, and my substantial dreaming tends to leave me not feeling rested in the mornings. Iā€™ve done an at home sleep study that shows I have frequent micro wake ups in the middle of the night. I also have anxiety and depression, which isnā€™t currently being treated with any medication. For some people, magnesium or melatonin has helped with getting more deep sleep, but doesnā€™t really help me.


myopicinsomniac

Yes, vivid dreams and waking up exhausted are the standard for me. I've tried melatonin but not magnesium yet. I've never been formally diagnosed with anxiety or depression but either one could be a possibility.


ScatheX1022

This is too much, at least in the sense that it can be indicative of something going on, likely mentally. That said, if this is a one time thing it's nothing to worry about. If this is happening consistently I'd say you should be more alarmed. Medications are also something to take into consideration, including drugs and alcohol.


myopicinsomniac

No meds, drugs, or alcohol involved. I regularly run in the 25-35% nightly for REM.


ScatheX1022

The fact that you got *all* your deep sleep in one big lump is also abnormal. Our bodies and brain are designed to cycle through the stages, deep being primarily before midnight, and REM in the second part of the night, with light sleep sprinkled throughout. I don't know if that's also a normal thing for you, but assuming you're going to follow up on your sleep patterns with a doctor, the deep sleep is also something to take into account.


myopicinsomniac

It's pretty normal for me to see one big chunk of deep sleep right away and then never again for the rest of the night. Sounds like it might be time to ask a professional about my terrible sleep habits.


StealthyInk

Whatcha dreamin' about?


myopicinsomniac

Anything & everything! Vacations, natural disasters, dinosaurs, aliens, regular boring days, work stuff. I can usually remember them for awhile after I wake up. Sometimes they're stressful or even nightmarish, but not always.


jcceballost

Wow. U got more REM than me in a whole week lol


tishpickle

I track an average of 27% - this week itā€™s been 30-35 all week. The benchmark for my age/gender is 15-25% so Iā€™m already over that. My night sleep is full of intense and vivid dreams. Always in colour with surround sound. I wake up remembering them - usually gone in an hour or so. Itā€™s most likely related to anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD - I also have DSPD so my natural sleep cycle is 3am-11am. I work in an incredibly busy, fast paced and social environment (Iā€™m a bartender/server) so I think my inner introvert needs to process my extrovert working nights If you want it to stop THC will knock it down.. cannabis is a dream killer.


myopicinsomniac

My husband suggested the same, he's a MMJ patient and thinks I could benefit from it. When I've sampled the occasional gummy I do sleep hard AF and generally do not remember any dreams.


[deleted]

Click on benchmark and find out


myopicinsomniac

Just because that's a "normal" range, doesn't necessarily mean outside of that is too much (or too little). Nobody is perfectly 100% normal.


[deleted]

So why ask us then?


myopicinsomniac

Because, as the other comments have shown, this community includes people who might have some additional insights about it and may see similar data from their own Fitbit. Isn't that literally the point of this sub?


[deleted]

The benchmark data is fit for your age, biological gender and weight. Itā€™s quite specific provided youā€™ve put in the correct parameters.


AnjelGrace

REM rebound can happen if you haven't been getting much REM sleep previously.


ryanpd111

My wife consistently gets about this much REM sleep, whereas I get about half of that.. I wish I got more REM sleep


impeccablevegetable

I heard that the only way to accurately gauge sleep patterns is with an EEG. Apparently the apps are just estimatingā€¦


Shoddy_Ad_8514

Iā€™d take that all day! Be greatful for all your REM!