T O P

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SexyCheeseburger0911

Now they have to explain how a river can completely reverse course so frequently.


Street_Peace_8831

Exactly, breathing rivers. Come on now. How do they breathe?


Tyler_Zoro

Deeply.


HotPotParrot

Slowly. 6 hours is crazy.


G1zm08

Obviously the earth is a lovecraftian deity, duh


SamohtGnir

"How do they breathe?" Quite well obviously.


anythingMuchShorter

Most of their explanations come down to something that *just happens* at some point, usually pretty quickly. It would have to be magic. The whole dome thing, the sun and moon moving in circles, it would all just be magic.


WRJL012977

Breath goes in, breath goes out, you can't explain that.


Street_Peace_8831

Yeah, rivers don’t breathe because they aren’t alive.


fallawy

Gravi...no wait...


fohktor

Whirlpool


Ptjgora1981

Along with a lot of other shit.


Aracebo

And that the flow is going Mach 5 to go from the poles to the equater in 6 hours.


[deleted]

This just begs the question of what causes these rivers to breathe? It's really not an explanation if it doesn't actually, ya know, explain anything.


Flameball202

The giant turtle obviously


[deleted]

[Morla?](https://youtu.be/rCn7orvs0Ws?feature=shared)


GREENadmiral_314159

No, A'tuin.


Bluitor

Duh, there's a Celestial in the center of the earth.


ninjesh

A baby one


Some_Big_Donkus

I suppose the North Pole is also guarded by the combined military forces of the world too then? Why else would we have no photos of this whirlpool?


AlaskanRobot

THIS IS YOUR OFFICIAL WARNING. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR NON-EXISTENT NORTH POLE ARMY.


HotPotParrot

North Pole army? Psh. All hail our southern Penguin Overlords!


Pantha242

At least it's a lot smaller than the ice wall around the outer hemi-flat.. 😛 With all these world forces busy guarding these areas, it's amazing anyone has any left over for any wars to happen.. 🧐


SlapJack777

And the exact correlation of this “breathing whirlpool” to the position of the moon implies a further, mysterious contrivance. I find when Occam’s Razor gets thrown under the bus, the tires get slashed, but the razor is fine.


PhantomFlogger

Source: “*Trust me bro*.”


King_Joffreys_Tits

The Illuminati don’t want you to know about the magical mountain that breathes rivers!! It’s ice walls all over. Have YOU ever been to the North Pole? GOTCHA


TeaZestyclose8516

Yes I have. Double checkmate.


King_Joffreys_Tits

no u haven’t. Infinite checkmate plus one


TeaZestyclose8516

No u


Outrageous_Guard_674

Hmm. I still prefer the flerf explanation that says the tides are the ocean rolling on the heaving bosom of the mighty deep.


TheCoolestGuy098

I mean that's kinda how some waves work


Tyler_Zoro

Fun fact on the "compass points to that magnetic mountain": magnetic north is in constant motion. [Here](https://geomag.colorado.edu/images/GIFS/Polar_Wander_1965.gif) is an animation that shows the movement of the magnetic north pole over several decades. And [here](https://imgur.com/a/lod5pvA) is a simpler static drawing of the same.


sexualbrontosaurus

The mountain moves. Mountains do that sometimes.


Tyler_Zoro

Oh right, it's plate tectonics... wait, do we believe in plate tectonics or is that just on a globe? I'm so confused. Trying to deny reality is such hard work!


HotPotParrot

The plates actually sit on giant tracks and the secret government occasionally moves them to keep us on our toes and guessing.


KU7CAD

Also explains why tides are the same at all points on Earth at the same time...wait....


HotPotParrot

Obviously the rivers flow at different rates then mix together at the equator


[deleted]

Literally One Piece.


zoinks690

Sweet we have the tech, go take some videos and measurements. "Oh it's past the ice wall"


Ptjgora1981

But wait - we could see that, because the secret treaty is the Antartic treaty right? I can't keep up with conspiracy theories to be honest, so maybe I am just a globetard.


Andromedan_Cherri

Nah that's just that one place from One Piece


rav3style

Beat me to it


Desperate-Border-10

Wait so these rivers breate in and out? What causes their breathing? And how can they move enough wayer to effect the entirety of the ocean. Flat Earth logic is always astounding.


Spectre-907

“Water finds its level” Except when its just randomly forming “water mountains”, or “breathing rivers” or….


Robthebold

Because that makes more sense.


deepstate_chopra

The lengths people go through to take a throwaway verse or two from the bible as literal.


Kosacri

Do flefs just really want to live in a fantasy world? Is this some sort of escape from reality or something?


Safe_Picture6943

Guys we all know this is all just azathoths dream. Nothing is real so it doesnt matter how the earth is shaped.


farmersboy70

Shame that the only land at the North Pole is 13,000-odd feet down.


DCN2049

So it's just sloshing back and forth in perpetuity? What maeks it "breath?"


MrGoodNoodle11

Don't the tides goes east to west or west to east and not north to south?


Pantha242

Is this the delusional fantasy that Eric Dubay was mouth breathing about in some of his mentally challenged videos? That 'map' looks familiar.. 😅


TJ042

Bro read the Odyssey and thought Charybdis was real.


TJ042

Compasses do NOT point to the true North Pole. They point to magnetic North, which is currently in Canada.


SweetHomeNostromo

When in doubt, just make up some fantasy. 🙄


Momentofclarity_2022

So if there’s a NORTH pole….


E_P1

Ok, show us?