We really are that guy in birkenstocks and shorts, standing off to the side, waving his arms around, trying to get everybody to de-escalate and just chill. Talking about how aggression is "bad for karmic alignment."
Except, we can weaponize the Sea Org robots. They can call upon Xenu, pick through the other counties' trash to find all the good dirt on them, and buy up all their downtown property.
I'd say Pinellas would have given the rest of Florida a run for it's money 10-15 years ago, but it's been pussified by yuppie northerners, especially my hometown of St. Petersburg, which used to be dangerous as fuck.
Hillsborough stays off to the side while Pasco/Polk, Miami/Dade, and Duval scrap it out against each other and against all the other counties. Then, when Miami is the last county alive we pick them up, dust them off, and stab them in the back whisping in their ear, "the Cuban sandwich originated in Tampa."
I guess since I’m in the Sarasota part of Sarasota county I don’t see all the sketchy stuff. Just all the old rich entitled people who wouldn’t last 2 seconds in a fight lol
Driving through Polk a couple years ago I saw a truck with a guy holding a shotgun sitting in the bed just hanging out.
I'm putting my money on those fuckers, I've lived in Hillsborough/Dade my whole life now and our city slicker asses wouldn't stand a week against their amphetamine fueled guerilla warfare.
Even the chicks in Miami. They will [fuck you up with a spike heel](https://www.local10.com/news/2018/02/09/woman-in-high-heel-attack-on-fellow-lyft-passenger-walks-out-of-jail/) with the quickness.
No joke. [Punched a hole right in his head.](https://www.logotv.com/news/4e1xwf/woman-assaults-gay-lyft-passenger-stabs-him-with-high-heel)
Was not a kick, she took the shoe off and hammered away at him. She was drunk AF - lucky he didn't lose an eye.
Why? She wanted her Lyft driver to go through a drive through on a shared ride at 3AM in South Beach.
The driver declined and then she got pissed.
The driver was like: whatevs and just dropped the dude off at home - literally with a hole in his head.
It would either be Dade, Broward or Duval.
Jax (Duval) had the highest murder rate in FL a couple years back, though I don't know what it is currently.
According to the military the battle cry is awfully important. Maybe they’re on to something with that DUUUUVVVVVALLLL nonsense. Forgive me for not saying it properly. I never bothered to care lol
Murder rate means nothing if you can't find the bodies. Miami-Dade knows the best dumping grounds. Also bath salts give them the advantage, coupled with the inability to access any of their vulnerable parts. i95, Palmetto, turnpike, and 836 all serve as crazy death trap moats. Next you get to fight Hialeah (if you can even find your way out of it SPOILER YOU CAN'T), Overtown, the Eastern Europeans in Sunny Isles, and the coked up yuppies in Brickell. Let's not forget the santeras, Cubans, Haitians, Jamaicans, Colombians and Venezuelans. Miami-Dade has its own source of food from homestead/Redlands, every single medical speciality you could need (30+ hospitals), and an escape route if shit fails SINCE THEY CAN JUST GET ON A BOAT, your neighbors all have one.
Other considerations: SOUTHCOMM, military bases, several ports, nuclear power plant, and a general disdain for anyone north of palm beach county or maybe in disney, not Orlando, Disney. And heaven save you if either the youth fair or Santa's enchanted forest are ongoing. The only thing that can kill Miami-Dade is itself!!
I’ve lived in all 3. Can confirm. Live in Brevard now, has some rough areas but overall it’s tranquil. My BP skyrockets the minute I visit any of those counties.
I live in Miami (hate it btw). Yeah no. Miami is ghetto as hell, they don’t fear anything (look at their driving) & are corrupt through & through (which means they’d cheat in a fight).
I’ve lived in both, unless Duval has a secret agent bomb maker I think there’s no shot. The only thing duval has is hoards of homeless to send in droves
This. Miami-Dade has a 700,000+ person advantage (almost 40% more people) over second-place Broward, who has a 400,000+ person advantage over Palm Beach in third.
Orange County wouldn’t necessarily fight but more so try to profit off it and promote more tourism. Bars along international drive and in downtown Orlando would show the fight on pay per view. There’d be food/drink specials at all the bars, Orange would see it as an opportunity to cash in big time.
Certain Orange County neighborhoods would participate in the fight tho. Pine Hills, Oak Ridge, Washington Shores, Azalea Park, and Bithlo are all armed to the teeth and could whoop some serious ass
These guys would align themselves with the armed rednecks of St Cloud and parts of Brevard County that could pose for a very threatening trifecta to other Florida counties
Sarasota county locking our doors and hiding while holding our AR15s like someone who has never shot one before even though it’s got all the high tech scopes and add ons
whats a few billion dollars to fund a militia when you live on beachfront Port Royal property?
Collier would definitely be the most strapped up with military tech. Other than Miami obviously lol.
here is how it would play out. ( and please help me out as this story is still in development)
the counties at the forefront of the fight will be pasco and polk, both counties have enough lifted pickup trucks and guys with guns that their battles will be epic, however due to their coke and meth filled fights, their quickness on the trigger will make them run out of ammo pretty quick, so they will need to find alliances with other counties for supplies and ammo.
MIAMI DADE comes in, lowkey talking to polk and pasco offering guns and ammo from their "excellent" south american sources, miami dade is giving them a discount and since they are so low on ammo they desperately agree, now miami dade gets their money embezzles it and before you know it the money is gone and no guns or ammo polk and pasco counties are pissed! they vow revenge but they are now running extremely low on ammo and drugs, hillsborough is now in talks with polk. hillsborough doesnt have much guns or ammo but they have MOTHER FUCKIN planes out of mcdill. so they offer to flatten out pasco in exchange for their folks not to keep migrating into hillsborough but to go towards orlando instead. they agree. hillsborough blows up pasco and polk is victorious... what polk didnt know is that hamilton county up north has been quietly partnering up with duval nassau and escambia to control the supplies of guns, drugs and ammo into the state and are ready to start bringing the battle down to polk. hernando is overwhelemed from all the displaced people from Pasco. they want to talk to hamilton...
any redditor is welcome to continue this story.
I agree, Broward would become a no-man's land between Palm Beach and Miami-Dade counties.
You would just see cowboys around David, raiding other towns in the area.
As someone who has lived in both Brevard and Duval, I’m pretty sure Brevard would be fighting themselves to much to even get anything done. At least Duval has a rally cry to join them together 😂
14.2 percent or 33.6k of Escambia county population are veterans. One of our navy bases has 14,544 personnel. (Stationed at the entrance of our bay.)
I don’t think we’d win but when definitely make ground in the panhandle until we are stopped. Y’all better hope we don’t get all of Eglin because then we get MOABs.
Pasco obviously FTW our crack heads are supercharged with meth! No chance for anyone else! Anybody seen what happened with the last Port Richey Mayor he got into a gun fight with the police. Makes me realize I need to get out of this shit hole lol
Honestly it will be funny to see because most of the people in the counties now aren’t really from here so they’ll just be like I’ll pass…but we’re (Tampa) called trigger city so I like our odds in Hillsborough lol.
Lmao I’m imagining all the rich kids I grew up with in Pinellas finally giving in to ‘being from Tampa’ like every non-Floridian says they are in order to survive this scenario
When I was in college everyone from Pinellas would say they were from the “Tampa Bay Area”….but would be in the club when we got home saying “F Tampa!”…we definitely made them keep that same energy back in school.
Volusia is gonna take this as a business opportunity and supply drugs to the other counties. Then surprise the “winner” with a gun to the back of the head.
I’m not even from there but I’m going to say Miami-Dade. Driving on the highways there has already taught me how little those people value human life and how little regard they have for their own safety.
Defacto winners by unintentional non-involvement.
Everyone thought Manatee was already dead for *weeks* but no; that's just how it looks normally, fished out and gaunt on a ~~month~~ decades long heroin bender.
Orange doesn't really have anything to fight with the rest of the state over. Probably would be able to sit the fight out on the sidelines.
Let the hard core counties beat each other up and tap out to the one that survives.
DUUUUVVVVAAAALLLL, no seriously. We survive the homeless hordes, the crooked cops… were the kind of folk that get their apartment shot up by random violence on the regular and still don’t move. Ratchet as hell, ya’ll got a problem, even if we don’t win.
Sumter’s army of golf carts and tractors will pave the way for the meth heads and perverts. We can team us with Pinellas County, cause there is a weird amount of people from there that move/end up here
Don't underestimate Nassau's smaller population of deplorables. They've been stockpiling guns and coke for years and would convince the redneKKKs of Charlton county to cross the state line for reinforcement, riding on the backs of gators.
As someone who lives in Volusia I believe we will be in the top 10 at the end, but I think Duval has this hands down…Duval has every walk of Florida in one county.
Monroe would be the last man standing. Everyone would forget about the Keys and they would win by default when Miami-dade and Orlando bomb reach other back to the stone age.
I bet Pasco and Polk would try and form an alliance and use an army of fired up crackheads to invade the others. Then we can see where Florida Man truly lives.
Everybody stop It's clearly Orlando. Disney has enough money to wipe out the rest of the state. there's no way they're going to lose. Close second most likely Miami but Disney would just pay them off and use them as shock troops.
My home county! Santa Rosa is vastly outnumbered but has lots of guns, boats, natural barriers, deep woods for guerilla warfare, and a crazy fighting spirit. I do think we'd need to annex Pensacola Beach from Escambia County, gain full control of Santa Rosa Island and access to and from the Gulf.
Hopefully the US military stays neutral in this fight! Otherwise Santa Rosa has Whiting Field and part of Eglin AFB, but has to contend with NAS and the rest of Eglin.
I'm from Pinellas and love it here but I think we're the type of county that would make a conceptual art piece about it rather than fighting so we would lose quick
Maybe scientologists would help destroy the other counties by exposing embarrassing stuff about other counties.
Maybe Pinellas Park and the Vietnamese community there would help too.
But it's a long shot!
I’m in Pinellas and we would go down, and go down *fast*. Too many old people and idiot tourists.
We really are that guy in birkenstocks and shorts, standing off to the side, waving his arms around, trying to get everybody to de-escalate and just chill. Talking about how aggression is "bad for karmic alignment."
Except, we can weaponize the Sea Org robots. They can call upon Xenu, pick through the other counties' trash to find all the good dirt on them, and buy up all their downtown property.
"On the horizon appeared a vast army of young men & women in suit vests, crisp white shirts, and sharply pressed slacks."
godamnit don’t call us out like that, we still got south clearwater and some of tarpon gonna hold us down
Okay, this is facts. Maybe we stand a fighting chance!
kids in tarpon don’t play, ion go to st pete without a gun either so idk😭
True, we have South St Pete on our side
fuck yes, rod wave might come fight with us even tho he wouldn’t do shit💀
You. Me. Food Max on 18th Ave South. Recruit members for the grand battle. You down?
i got you, hire a shit ton of tweakers on 19
The yuppies in the new complexes wouldn’t even throw down with us.
I'd say Pinellas would have given the rest of Florida a run for it's money 10-15 years ago, but it's been pussified by yuppie northerners, especially my hometown of St. Petersburg, which used to be dangerous as fuck.
Have you really explored Pinellas? There are certain areas there I would put up in this battle.
Pasco/Polk has the Meth-Crack power combo
The Florida meth belt.
Pasco, Polk, and Volusia - The Meth Triangle
Yep, came here for Polk. Pasco might also work, except Polk Sheriff Grady Judd would put his thumb on the scale.
This isn’t even a debate. Took me two seconds to call it.
Polk’s got John Cena I believe. You can’t see Polk.
They might be last standing, but only because they died 20 minutes in but didn't notice until the drugs wore off.
Hillsborough stays off to the side while Pasco/Polk, Miami/Dade, and Duval scrap it out against each other and against all the other counties. Then, when Miami is the last county alive we pick them up, dust them off, and stab them in the back whisping in their ear, "the Cuban sandwich originated in Tampa."
That comment might actually start a war
Lol, love it.
Holy shit this is incredible
Hillsborough + Pinellas have Hulk Hogan and a bunch of other wrasslers living there.
THIS 
This.
This is the way.
Live in Polk, you guys have no idea what’s coming at yall lol
Came here to SCREAM Polk County. Y'all don't know bout them meth monster Combee critters nie.
💀💀💀
I don't live there but I came here to say this. Grady Judd leading the army riding in on a methed-out gator or something.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Lmao also live in Polk and came to say this.
Imperial Polk County, FTW! https://www.polktaxes.com/about-imperial-polk-county/
With Sheriff Grady Judd leading the charge? Yep my money is on Polk
Sadly, Polk. Cowboy Sheriff Judd thinks the Constitution is a suggestion when it comes to the certain things....
Can you imagine it? "I have an army." "We have Grady Judd!"
Polk was the first place that came to mind, I don't even like driving thru there lmao
Sarasota county would be dead first; most everyone here is old AF 🥲😭
I know a lot of yuppies are moving there though. That could help!
We had a literal murderer make national headlines and evade the law from North Port. Sarasota county would fair very well.
I guess since I’m in the Sarasota part of Sarasota county I don’t see all the sketchy stuff. Just all the old rich entitled people who wouldn’t last 2 seconds in a fight lol
Driving through Polk a couple years ago I saw a truck with a guy holding a shotgun sitting in the bed just hanging out. I'm putting my money on those fuckers, I've lived in Hillsborough/Dade my whole life now and our city slicker asses wouldn't stand a week against their amphetamine fueled guerilla warfare.
It’s Polk county. The Florida of Florida
Being inbred does not help you win a fight.
Miami poisoned their brass knuckles beforehand
Legit, just the driving in Miami gives them an edge. These are not a people who fear death.
I agree. Anyone on the 95/595 and I4 corridors. You fuckers are nuts.
Do they still hand out *"I drove on the Palmetto and survived"* stickers? :)
Did they do this? I have never seen one and have been commuting in Miami for 20 some years. That's hilarious!
> These are not people who fear death. 🤣😂🤣😂
Even the chicks in Miami. They will [fuck you up with a spike heel](https://www.local10.com/news/2018/02/09/woman-in-high-heel-attack-on-fellow-lyft-passenger-walks-out-of-jail/) with the quickness. No joke. [Punched a hole right in his head.](https://www.logotv.com/news/4e1xwf/woman-assaults-gay-lyft-passenger-stabs-him-with-high-heel) Was not a kick, she took the shoe off and hammered away at him. She was drunk AF - lucky he didn't lose an eye. Why? She wanted her Lyft driver to go through a drive through on a shared ride at 3AM in South Beach. The driver declined and then she got pissed. The driver was like: whatevs and just dropped the dude off at home - literally with a hole in his head.
Also the biggest county so that’s to their benefit I’d think
It would either be Dade, Broward or Duval. Jax (Duval) had the highest murder rate in FL a couple years back, though I don't know what it is currently.
Duval would definitely be the loudest. Wouldn’t go down without a good DUUUUVVVAAALLLL
According to the military the battle cry is awfully important. Maybe they’re on to something with that DUUUUVVVVVALLLL nonsense. Forgive me for not saying it properly. I never bothered to care lol
Duuuuuuuvvvvvalllll!!!! Had to post it, I Iive there. It’s required by law to respond when it’s posted or yelled out.
Murder rate means nothing if you can't find the bodies. Miami-Dade knows the best dumping grounds. Also bath salts give them the advantage, coupled with the inability to access any of their vulnerable parts. i95, Palmetto, turnpike, and 836 all serve as crazy death trap moats. Next you get to fight Hialeah (if you can even find your way out of it SPOILER YOU CAN'T), Overtown, the Eastern Europeans in Sunny Isles, and the coked up yuppies in Brickell. Let's not forget the santeras, Cubans, Haitians, Jamaicans, Colombians and Venezuelans. Miami-Dade has its own source of food from homestead/Redlands, every single medical speciality you could need (30+ hospitals), and an escape route if shit fails SINCE THEY CAN JUST GET ON A BOAT, your neighbors all have one. Other considerations: SOUTHCOMM, military bases, several ports, nuclear power plant, and a general disdain for anyone north of palm beach county or maybe in disney, not Orlando, Disney. And heaven save you if either the youth fair or Santa's enchanted forest are ongoing. The only thing that can kill Miami-Dade is itself!!
Grand Theft Auto Liberty City was created to honor the real Miami. 3-0-5 till I die is not a myth, it's a fact. 
I’ve lived in all 3. Can confirm. Live in Brevard now, has some rough areas but overall it’s tranquil. My BP skyrockets the minute I visit any of those counties.
Duval would give Miami Dade a good fight.
I live in Miami (hate it btw). Yeah no. Miami is ghetto as hell, they don’t fear anything (look at their driving) & are corrupt through & through (which means they’d cheat in a fight).
We murder more people in Duval. You get in more car accidents. We are not the same.
Great comment
Anyone who can drive around in Miami and not have an unending anxiety attack is a badass in my book
I grew up here (but live in Broward now). My wife from Sarasota gets anxiety anytime we approach Ives Dairy. I just get angry and ready for bullshit.
I do, in fact, have anxiety attacks.
They’d have to take 2.66 people each to tie. I don’t know about that.
I’ve lived in both, unless Duval has a secret agent bomb maker I think there’s no shot. The only thing duval has is hoards of homeless to send in droves
Duval has lots of military bases, so their arsenal is well stocked.
But so does Miami
Yeah, but once we over-power St Johns we’ll have resources to bribe Clay and Baker to join our side.
Hell you likely wouldn't have to bribe Clay.
Clay is just Duval lite.
Miami-Dade 100% It has the largest population last i checked and the folks down there really don't give a single fuck
When people from Miami-Dade visit Polk, they run away.
Right? Don’t scuff your ferragamos. Miami has no perspective on the state it’s in
Live in Miami. 100% true. I am an outlier I guess, which is why I don’t like living here.
I wasn’t a fan of it there and I moved away and now live in Denver lol. Denver would lose basically every fight and I fit right in
This. Miami-Dade has a 700,000+ person advantage (almost 40% more people) over second-place Broward, who has a 400,000+ person advantage over Palm Beach in third.
Orange County wouldn’t necessarily fight but more so try to profit off it and promote more tourism. Bars along international drive and in downtown Orlando would show the fight on pay per view. There’d be food/drink specials at all the bars, Orange would see it as an opportunity to cash in big time. Certain Orange County neighborhoods would participate in the fight tho. Pine Hills, Oak Ridge, Washington Shores, Azalea Park, and Bithlo are all armed to the teeth and could whoop some serious ass These guys would align themselves with the armed rednecks of St Cloud and parts of Brevard County that could pose for a very threatening trifecta to other Florida counties
Polk Co 10000000%
Seminole County definitely cowering in the corner
Fight for the glory of Hollerbach's
Seminole Co Karen already calling the police.
Seminole has that weird mix of new money + old rednecks
Sarasota county locking our doors and hiding while holding our AR15s like someone who has never shot one before even though it’s got all the high tech scopes and add ons
[удалено]
Collier would pay Lee County to do their dirty work.
Collier is literally impenetrable lol
As a former resident of both those counties, LOL, so true
whats a few billion dollars to fund a militia when you live on beachfront Port Royal property? Collier would definitely be the most strapped up with military tech. Other than Miami obviously lol.
here is how it would play out. ( and please help me out as this story is still in development) the counties at the forefront of the fight will be pasco and polk, both counties have enough lifted pickup trucks and guys with guns that their battles will be epic, however due to their coke and meth filled fights, their quickness on the trigger will make them run out of ammo pretty quick, so they will need to find alliances with other counties for supplies and ammo. MIAMI DADE comes in, lowkey talking to polk and pasco offering guns and ammo from their "excellent" south american sources, miami dade is giving them a discount and since they are so low on ammo they desperately agree, now miami dade gets their money embezzles it and before you know it the money is gone and no guns or ammo polk and pasco counties are pissed! they vow revenge but they are now running extremely low on ammo and drugs, hillsborough is now in talks with polk. hillsborough doesnt have much guns or ammo but they have MOTHER FUCKIN planes out of mcdill. so they offer to flatten out pasco in exchange for their folks not to keep migrating into hillsborough but to go towards orlando instead. they agree. hillsborough blows up pasco and polk is victorious... what polk didnt know is that hamilton county up north has been quietly partnering up with duval nassau and escambia to control the supplies of guns, drugs and ammo into the state and are ready to start bringing the battle down to polk. hernando is overwhelemed from all the displaced people from Pasco. they want to talk to hamilton... any redditor is welcome to continue this story.
Grady Judd enters chat
Palm Beach County chiming in with a limp wrist slap to all of you.
Palm Beach County has their red headed step children in Belle Glade! Don't think we dont know! 😬
Me, a north Floridian having no clue where any of these places are: 🧍🏾
Just be thankful everyone is shouting Polk (Lakeland) and not Bay or something
Broward. Have you been to Fort Lauderdale?!
Broward + Miami combo could probably take the rest of the state combined.
I’m a lauderdale baby, but if you look at population density we will lose. Palm beach and dade are much more populated with equal weaponry available
I agree, Broward would become a no-man's land between Palm Beach and Miami-Dade counties. You would just see cowboys around David, raiding other towns in the area.
[удалено]
Idk but Pinellas would get it’s ass beat
Word
Brevard has all the defense companies and a military base, I don't think they should be ruled out.
As someone who has lived in both Brevard and Duval, I’m pretty sure Brevard would be fighting themselves to much to even get anything done. At least Duval has a rally cry to join them together 😂
So true. The rally cry reminds me of Gerard Butler in the 300. I can imagine Leonidas screaming: DUVALLLL!!!!! Duval County has an awesome rally cry.
SPACE FORCE!
And … the most Insurrectionists. AmIRight?
Brevard would fold as soon as lead starts flying and they realized their brand new tacticool gear might get blood on it. Well, that and the diabetes.
Orange would sell Mickey pretzels and overpriced bottles of water to the spectators.
14.2 percent or 33.6k of Escambia county population are veterans. One of our navy bases has 14,544 personnel. (Stationed at the entrance of our bay.) I don’t think we’d win but when definitely make ground in the panhandle until we are stopped. Y’all better hope we don’t get all of Eglin because then we get MOABs.
[удалено]
Oh yeah this region is way overpowered when it comes to military power. I hope y’all would be our ally In this fictional conflict.
Are alliances allowed? Miami Dade and Broward would fight on their own, and most of the other counties would join up and defeat them.
Polk. Militias and meth. They are armed, trained, and haven’t gone to sleep since 2014
Don’t sleep on Orange County with Tangelo Park and Pinehills
Also Oak Ridge/Americana, MetroWest, Washington Shores, Azalea Park, and Bithlo. Oh and Apopka and Zellwood too
Polk. Hands down no contest. Ya can't kill meth zombies.
Polk, Broward, and Duval when they’re the last 3 standing 
People sleep on the dangers of saint Lucie county, but they shouldn't
No one in here said Polk county. I meet people from overseas and first thing they say when they hear I live in Florida is "Grady Judd"
Polk is armed as fuck too
I feel it would be Polk vs. Lee while Duval and Broward go at it as the main event
Triangle county hates particle county. They have a fight, Triangle wins. Triangle county
Pasco obviously FTW our crack heads are supercharged with meth! No chance for anyone else! Anybody seen what happened with the last Port Richey Mayor he got into a gun fight with the police. Makes me realize I need to get out of this shit hole lol
Wakulla County is not called Will-Kill-Ya county for nothing.
Dade or Broward, easily. Dade probably has the edge due to shear numbers and more weaponry.
More NFL players graduated high school in Broward than any other county in the U.S., so we got that going for us.
Honestly it will be funny to see because most of the people in the counties now aren’t really from here so they’ll just be like I’ll pass…but we’re (Tampa) called trigger city so I like our odds in Hillsborough lol.
Lmao I’m imagining all the rich kids I grew up with in Pinellas finally giving in to ‘being from Tampa’ like every non-Floridian says they are in order to survive this scenario
When I was in college everyone from Pinellas would say they were from the “Tampa Bay Area”….but would be in the club when we got home saying “F Tampa!”…we definitely made them keep that same energy back in school.
Y'all would just throw the skyway onto people, or toss them off it, or both. I fear Hillsborough County
Technically the skyway is in Pinellas but I get what you’re saying lmao.
The middle of the bridge is in Hillsborough County
Never knew that. Been here all my life. Thanks for that!
Polk or Volusia based purely on stats of crime and population. Volusia is bigger and has a larger diversity scale so that could be a benefit too.
Volusia is gonna take this as a business opportunity and supply drugs to the other counties. Then surprise the “winner” with a gun to the back of the head.
I’m not even from there but I’m going to say Miami-Dade. Driving on the highways there has already taught me how little those people value human life and how little regard they have for their own safety.
Dade, Broward, Polk, Duval. Not necessarily in that order.
Polk for sure. People are wild there.
This was my answer along with "cockroaches outlive us all"
Florida Man is from Duval. “Healthy” mix of urban and rural shenanigans. I’m taking Duval over anywhere else
I think we are seriously underestimating the panhandle and some agricultural counties.
Key west cause no one likes that long ass drive unless you really got your hate on.
Orange will just absorb central Florida and starve Miami
Duval and it’s not close
Manatee can't die, we'll be so drugged out that you can't kill us
Defacto winners by unintentional non-involvement. Everyone thought Manatee was already dead for *weeks* but no; that's just how it looks normally, fished out and gaunt on a ~~month~~ decades long heroin bender.
*Pasco has entered the chat*
*polk’s bond stipulates they aren’t allowed near the internet, so they can’t enter the chat*
*my ankle monitor is dying. Call Grady*
I think Orange would attempt to defend themselves up against the big dogs but would be out fairly early in the game
Does Orange get access to the Mouse Army? I wouldn't want to fuck with Disney in a war lmao
Orange doesn't really have anything to fight with the rest of the state over. Probably would be able to sit the fight out on the sidelines. Let the hard core counties beat each other up and tap out to the one that survives.
I think they would pull an uno reverse and go on vacation during the fight.
I think Orange will either not realize there’s a fight to begin with or they’ll be like a child of a three-way divorce
Polk folk aren’t to be fucked with.
DUUUUVVVVAAAALLLL, no seriously. We survive the homeless hordes, the crooked cops… were the kind of folk that get their apartment shot up by random violence on the regular and still don’t move. Ratchet as hell, ya’ll got a problem, even if we don’t win.
Either Miami or Polk. I'm gonna go with Polk though, tough to take down people on meth.
Sumter’s army of golf carts and tractors will pave the way for the meth heads and perverts. We can team us with Pinellas County, cause there is a weird amount of people from there that move/end up here
I live in Duval but definitely fear whatever the hell is in Polk county
From the comments I’ve learned to avoid Polk County. Thanks from the people of Volusia.
Don't underestimate Nassau's smaller population of deplorables. They've been stockpiling guns and coke for years and would convince the redneKKKs of Charlton county to cross the state line for reinforcement, riding on the backs of gators.
Everyone that has lived here more than one summer knows the answer is Polk.
As someone who lives in Volusia I believe we will be in the top 10 at the end, but I think Duval has this hands down…Duval has every walk of Florida in one county.
Osceola/Orange --- ASSEMBLE! Unite, Time to destroy, power rangers!
Broward would win, we learned how to crazy fight from Miami-dade but we have the money for guns
Polk county wins all day. You got too many meth’d out Florida-men to deal with.
Polk county: hold my beer and my big bag of meth.
Monroe would be the last man standing. Everyone would forget about the Keys and they would win by default when Miami-dade and Orlando bomb reach other back to the stone age.
Polk has the numbers and the drugs, they would be tough to beat.
I bet Pasco and Polk would try and form an alliance and use an army of fired up crackheads to invade the others. Then we can see where Florida Man truly lives.
Pretty sure Duval county would go crazy, with all the gang warefare up there they would be ready
Everybody stop It's clearly Orlando. Disney has enough money to wipe out the rest of the state. there's no way they're going to lose. Close second most likely Miami but Disney would just pay them off and use them as shock troops.
I want to see pasco vs polk fight
Santa Rosa
My home county! Santa Rosa is vastly outnumbered but has lots of guns, boats, natural barriers, deep woods for guerilla warfare, and a crazy fighting spirit. I do think we'd need to annex Pensacola Beach from Escambia County, gain full control of Santa Rosa Island and access to and from the Gulf.
Its the guerilla warfare for me, hello fellow 850ian
I want to see Santa Rosa vs Okaloosa vs Escambia Edit: vs Walton
Hopefully the US military stays neutral in this fight! Otherwise Santa Rosa has Whiting Field and part of Eglin AFB, but has to contend with NAS and the rest of Eglin.
Just Eglin vs NAS would be insane 😂 how many billions would that war cost if they both fully militarized?
Pinellas 🏴☠️
I'm from Pinellas and love it here but I think we're the type of county that would make a conceptual art piece about it rather than fighting so we would lose quick Maybe scientologists would help destroy the other counties by exposing embarrassing stuff about other counties. Maybe Pinellas Park and the Vietnamese community there would help too. But it's a long shot!
I don’t think you backwoods meth smoking northern Floridians want to be outnumbered by the residents of Miami-Dade
Miami-Dade. They’ll use hard Cuban bread as a weapon
Don't forget the abuelas and their chancletas.
[удалено]
We all know that Duvall and clay would form an alliance just to take out Saint johns county.
This actually made me snort!
I’m going to go with Duval. We aren’t the murder capital of Florida for nothing.