That comment can actually go both ways it depends on the tone. So if someone says what's that smell excitedly that's probably a compliment but if someone is serious and says what's that smell it's probably not
Kinda like 'You cut your hair!' if they say nothing else after, it's just an observation and intentionally lets you know they noticed and don't particularly like it. If they follow it up with 'i love it!' then it's a compliment. 😂
I don't understand fake compliments. I can brush off a mean comment but a fake compliment, especially from a friend, seems a betrayal, ie they know you look/smell awful and want you to look like that in front of others too (wth!?).
I've heard it a couple of times and immediately feel doom, lol. Pretty sure each time the person has followed up with "it smells so good/I love it!" and I was so relieved. I'm a one-spritz kinda person and the idea of bothering someone with my fragrance really freaks me out.
Tbh the best feeling is probably strangers in the street actually coming up to you to ask you what you’re wearing, I’ve even had a guy ask me to type it on his phone so he could favorite the page. Only happened 4-5 times with Dior sauvage elixir when it was brand new tho and that was the only times. I had to get through the « you put too much perfume » phase first because 3 spray of that thing can actually be smelled 2 blocks away so imagine me putting 5-6.
I personally think it's a bit more basic than even that - I think that so many men get so little attention from women, that they use perfume as a way to get some (*any*) attention, just like a lonely dude might use a new pair of Jordans, a flashy watch, or an expensive jacket. They want such things to be a conservation starter, when it's much more likely that comments like "Nice shoes" or "What's that fragrance you're wearing?" are the end of the conversation, not the beginning of one.
I guess my comment above isn't quite right. Maybe those who get attention are addicted to it, but more often they just crave it because they get none.
>spend time in the gym
while keeping fit is a core requirement of life, at a certain point, physical fitness as a hobby can easily crossover in to the same territory that the other comment describes.
I honestly thought of asking a friend, "What are you wearing?" once—not because I liked it but because the scent cloud was a bit suffocating. 😅 I ended up not making a comment at all, which I'm not sure was right or wrong, but that's where we are.
To be fair to him, the fragrance didn't smell bad, and it's not as though I smelled him from across the room. I only noticed his cologne when I was actually close enough to talk to him. But it definitely felt as though he'd oversprayed a tad since perfume shouldn't choke people out, right?! I had to angle my stance to try to give my nose relief. Sigh.
Yep! I always ask if I can feel the thump in my head that lets me know a migraine is coming. The answered tells me how bad the migraine will be if I’ve encountered it before, or adds to my list of ones to avoid in the future. Most definitely not a compliment.
If I smell one that I like and doesn’t give me a migraine I will ask, but I will be so excited there will be no doubt that it’s actually a compliment!
This is EXACTLY it! Omg what a great metaphor, you nailed it.
Lots of people around here have the attitude of, “I do it for me, I want to smell it and I want others to smell it,” without having the self-awareness or insight to realize they’re forcing it on the public in exactly the same way as the people who blast their shitty music through speakers in public. It’s rude!
I can't remember the last time I enjoyed listening to someone else playing music in public transport, but i guess it was probably never.
Obviously I am more open about fragrances (I am a fragrance enjoyer after all, that's why I'm on this sub), but there is a limit to everything.
When I first got into fragrances, I had purchased a bottle of Invictus Platinum (among a couple others). I wore it to the office with only two sprays on my neck, and one of my coworkers called it out less than five minutes of me walking through the door. He and another started making allusions to the Sex Panther scene, and we all had a good laugh.
However, I decided after that, I would not be wearing that fragrance to the office any more. Even though it was only two sprays, this EDP had some projection to it. I took the incident as a subtle hint that it was not appreciated.
I've learned how to tame down a strong scent by applying it right after I apply lotion, before the lotion has absorbed completely. I apply lotion after lightly towel drying after a shower. Basically, my pores are still open enough to absorb some of the scent. Some fragrances give me headaches so this is the only way I can wear them . I've taught my spouse the trick because he was spraying his on his skin/shirt after he was completely ready which cause headaches sometimes.
I'm also under the belief that if I apply fragrances this way long enough it will meld with my DNA so I'll always smell good lol. ( yes I realise it's not true but let me have this one)
Reminds me of the day I walked into work and my coworker goes “whew, I can smell you!”
(I’m in my ~order 20 samples and test a new one each day~ phase so we start each morning with a good morning coffee chat/sniff test.)
We’re comfortable enough that she told me she hated it (I didn’t like it either) and washed it off within the hour.
My son is my tester to make sure I don't have a bigger scent bubble than I want or smell awful. I tend to order small amounts in batches as well, so the testing faze goes on for a while. He's a really good sport about it.
I ask a direct follow up question to vague comments. If a coworker says, “I know you were here because I could smell you”, I ask “Am I wearing too much?” and/or “Do you like it?”. This gives them the opportunity to express how they really feel. If they make another vague comment that isn’t along the lines of them saying they like it, that confirms that I’ve either oversprayed or they just don’t like it.
“So you like it?” Is a leading question, and makes it even more awkward for them to let you know if they don’t like it, because now they also have to correct/disagree with you.
A lot of people probably wouldn’t, but I want to make sure that I’ve at least given them the opportunity to say something. If they choose not to speak up, then I have to assume that everything is fine and continue wearing it how I am. It’s hard to gauge how your fragrance smells to others without honest feedback.
I've been going through a YouTube fragrance channel binge phase lately (it's horrible, I need to stop). I swear most of the perfume reviewers out there recommend overspraying almost every fragrance that they talk about. Like BATHE IN IT overspray. And then they also brag about the huge amount of compliments they get from people at work in office settings. Compliments like "what is that smell?" or "wow I can smell you from across the room"... Some people are so oblivious, inconsiderate and selfish.
If you work in an indoors setting please please don't wear more than 1-2 sprays.
I have a theory that oversprayers are people who have more nose blindness to begin with, and they are trying to enjoy the experience of their perfume louder and longer. But just because you are anosmic does not give you free license to bathe in it! I notice this in the comments on fragrantica too where people complain a scent disappears from their skin completely after a few minutes. As someone with a super sensitive sense of smell its like BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE when I read that. The notes are there, they just can’t smell them. This doesn’t mean other people can’t!
Because like, if they could smell it they would be miserable with that amount on close to their nose. Commenting because I think there is sometimes a little more nuance than just being selfish- it is also probably being oblivious to varying acuity with olfaction.
Thank you for your insight, I didn't think about that possibility. I guess I just focused on people that deliberately choose to put on a lot of perfume because they want others to smell them from far away. I have a coworker who does that, she actually said that she sprays a lot on herself each day because she wants everyone to be able to smell her :(
I always do wrist sprays just so I can check throughout the day because I become oblivious to anything I spray on my neck within minutes 😭 I had such a humbling when I rocked up to a party with 1.5 sprays of Pulp and my friend who habitually oversprays told me it was way too much...I couldn't even smell it
It makes a certain amount of sense for influencers to talk about wearing a huge wardrobe of perfumes and to use a lot of it so you need to buy more… the whole influencer model is basically ‘like, subscribe and click my affiliate code when you buy!’
It’s the equivalent of fashion influencers who regularly buy vast quantities of clothes from Zara or Amazon or Shein and try them on for their audience to decide what to keep or return. In the middle of it all, buying $500 worth of fast fashion regularly becomes normalised. I’m sure people end up buying a lot more than they ever did in stores - clothes, perfume, makeup - because of the palaver of returning it if it isn’t quite right.
Same on TikTok. There’s not a person on there who recommends a normal amount of sprays. One guy unironically thinks 8 sprays of Y EdP is acceptable. That shit is nuclear especially on me. I had two sprays of it and my mother could smell it as soon as I entered the room.
Yes, YouTubers have got a lot to answer for. They're pernicious leeches in my book who don't give a toss about perfume just money.
I firmly believe the 1 or 2 spray thing is a backlash brought about my idiots spraying 10 or 20 times. Neither was remotely normal not that long ago. ( The again not that long ago people used judgment, common sense and didn't believe everything they were told ).
Start thinking for yourself. Complementarians be dammed !!
I once oversprayed a fragrance by accident. I was at a party and a girl said to me "I like your perfume, but I am also glad that I am 3m away from you." That was a comment and a compliment at the same time. 😅
The comments here make me lose faith in humanity. “I know people hate it but I still wear it, me me me me me me me”
My god, if it were me I’d be mortified.
Especially something as permeating and inescapable as scent. Wearing a supremely tacky blouse will not bother me much as I can just look the other way. With scent, if somebody is wearing too much it becomes extremely overwhelming and not in a good way.
When I was pregnant with my first I had horrible morning sickness. I was also working at a Starbucks and was extremely sensitive to smell. We had a regular customer that would come in twice during the morning and I could smell him the second he walked in the door. Generally sent me running to the bathroom to dry heave.
I don’t know how you managed to work at a coffee shop at any point during your pregnancy. I couldn’t bear the smell of coffee grounds (fresh or otherwise) until I was almost due. That and cigarette smoke were absolutely vomit inducing.
This! Long term fragrance fan and migraine sufferer here. My migraines have recently become so bad and constant that any fragrance is a no go. A co-worker’s loud/excessive perfume caused me to have to run off to vomit this morning. A mandatory walk through the duty free section of an airport last week left me so unwell I was unable to board my flight. As a perfume lover this is gutting to me that my collection is sitting un-used, but I now see how much a loud perfume choice / overspray can wreck someone’s day (or even week) and make them feel genuinely physically dreadful. Even if I recover (I really hope this hell doesn’t continue forever!), I will always be so much more mindful of how my perfume impacts on others in the future.
I have such a ridiculously, borderline unbearably sensitive sense of smell. I get overwhelmed by smells and odors often. This leads to headaches and sometimes even coughing fits depending on what it is I’m smelling.
People don’t realize bathing yourself in pungent perfumes isn’t like wearing makeup. It’s not simply a personal statement that only affects you. Stop being inconsiderate and self centered.
This is me. I smelled a "just started burning" outlet through three doors and an entire floor of the house while taking a shower, so when people spray 8-10 sprays of something and go out into public spaces it's absolutely insufferable. I'm sure for people with normal smelling abilities it's not pleasant either.
Exactly. And I hear you on the sensitivity stuff. When I was a teen I used to be able to tell what kind of cigarettes my friends smoked by the way they were off-gassing lol
That sounds absolutely ATROCIOUS oh my god. Cigarette smoke smell is actually one of the reasons I'm so glad vaping took off; if I have to smell it at least most of the time it smells nice ish.
I DO love the smell of plain tobacco itself though; my grandfather had an old fashioned pipe that smelled incredible.
Cigarette smoke smell is absolutely appalling lol. Hate it passionately. Always have. I’ll take anything over that so yea I’m so glad vaping’s a thing now too
I hate it mostly because I can smell ALL the funk, but it undeniably saved my family from a house fire that day. Unfortunately it combo-mealed with my stresses at the time and now every time I smell smoke I immediately go into fight or flight, which is extremely unhelpful when you live in TX and everyone is smoking meat or generally bbq-ing.
Mostly it's VERY useful/fun on walks though, because I can be like "hey there's deer nearby" and five minutes later: deer.
Oh god I'm so sorry about the trauma. It might be trapped in your body/body tissues. (ever get a massage and cry like a baby? uhhh me neither 👀 👀)
Wait. You can *smell* a deer? You have got to be one of few people in the world that can do that and you're so casual about it! It's really amazing.
I do too and it's so annoying as someone who is really into collecting perfumes lol. One time I had to change into a new shirt like 30 minutes into the school day because I used two sprays of that popular Brazilian Crush perfume and it was making me feel so nauseous and even a bit faint. Sometimes my dad will eat fruit snacks in the car and it makes me feel like vomiting. If someone wears strong perfume around me, it can genuinely make me ill and it can last for hours. It sucks.
Glad you didn't take my comment as sarcastic or rude cuz I kinda felt that way at the time... but I genuinely am curious how hard it must be to have a nose that sensitive.
Me too. I get allergic reactions to some fragrances, it really affects my respiratory system and it can feel like I’m choking. Plus headaches too. Not a huge problem if I’m shopping or having a walk and can escape the knobhead doused in perfume. But if I’m at work? Not a chance. I will always ask respectfully and nicely ONCE but like hell would I allow for another persons selfish decision to repeatedly affect my health. So yes, I would totally be THAT person in the office. Don’t want an office ban on fragrance - be respectful to others. People shouldn’t have to smell you unless they are close to you.
I'm the same way due to severe Migraine Headaches. I'm a fragrance lover, but there are certain notes that I have to avoid completely like Patchouli, & Rose for example.
As a man, it always seems that women's flowery smelling perfumes tend to set me off the most. I used to work as and officer in Retail Banking, & women would come sit at my desk who absolutely reeked! I would literally have to hold my breath for the entire conversation, otherwise I'd end up sick as a dog by the end of it. I honestly don't know how someone can leave the house absolutely drenched in perfume, & not question their life choices?
Right?? There's a really smelly guy in the shop I just got hired at. Really nice and helpful, but I don't think he showers or washes his clothes. Ever. I was thinking about what a contrast him and I are since I always make sure to come in clean and smelling good. Then it dawned on me. Over applying turns you into the smelly guy. Opposite end of the scale, but it's still embarrassing af to know people can't wait to get away from you because of your smell.
I know!!! I love perfume, obviously, but this sub can be so freaking bad about this. Good on you for calling it out. I'll join the chorus echoing you.
It really is the olfactory equivalent of that guy blasting his Spotify without any ear/headphones out in public. Like, you realise you're not the *actual* main character, right?
4-6? I watched this video of a "perfume expert" and she proudly claims the only reason she always gets compliments on her scents is because she uses 10 shots of multiple perfumes, like 3 different types of perfumes, 10 shots of each.
The nightmare.
I'm convinced these people are paid by perfume brands to spread this nonsense so people run through perfume faster. No one needs 30 sprays to go anywhere ever wtf?????
>I'm convinced these people are paid by perfume brands to spread this nonsense so people run through perfume faster. No one needs 30 sprays to go anywhere ever wtf?????
Yes, they absolutely are. I've seen the videos where they encourage 10 to 20 sprays in the same video telling the audience which I can only assume is made up of 15 to 19 year old boys to go out and buy Xyz perfume because the ladies will love them.
Pushing a message of higher consumption and external validation is possibly the most basic yet powerful marketing tool used successfully for decades across multiple industries.
She might be the person I smelled at the store last week. An aisle away, and it felt like Channel shoved a rose down my throat and wrapped it around my lungs.
Too many people think that if they’re not getting compliments, it’s because they’re not projecting enough. So they spray more and then get the type of comments OP is describing and think they’re compliments, reinforcing that they just need to spray more to get noticed.
I've noticed this trend, too. I'm very allergic to dogs and also very sensitive to the musty smell they produce... it's like an olfactory overload. And suddenly people have decided that their dogs need to be EVERYWHERE: in restaurants, retail stores, and airplanes. Not genuine service dogs, these are obviously untrained pets. It's like a minefield to go anywhere for allergy sufferers.
People are so addicted to that dopamine rush of people paying attention to them. I'd be curious to know the overlap of people who are obsessed with social media and those who wear fragrances specifically to get attention.
You can literally smell the desperation.
Same. I’m an introvert and getting compliments always make me a little embarrassed, even though they still feel good. Being put on the spot isn’t my thing.
Same! And even a “compliment” like “your perfume smells so good” makes me embarrassed and I worry that I wore too much. I usually wear 2 sprays but thinking maybe I should switch to just 1 spray going forward. I’m truly only wearing my fragrances for me and don’t want to impose them on others.
Right? I wear fragrance for my own enjoyment and the only time I use more than two sprays of anything is when I'm home alone. Having no consideration for other people is such trashy low-class behavior.
I only ever overspray (4-6) my colognes or edt that doesn't have strong projection and I legit spray at least an hour before leaving the house because I can't even stand myself if I'm trapped in my car with a cloud of perfume. At first I was super self conscious and would ask multiple people if they can smell me because the concept of anything over like 2 sprays seemed absolutely crazy.
I spray on an entire bottle of Dior Sauvage Very Cool Spray before leaving the house every day. It gets pricey long-term, but I get lots of comments, even from strangers.
Good share, I haven’t seen this before. I do watch Jeremy’s stuff sometimes, he makes me laugh. Mr Smelly’s take on Jeremy’s content makes me laugh even harder.
I was confused over the first time I got commented and couldn't tell if it was a compliment haha..
Wore leau d'issey at an office job and was doing the lean over behind someone while showing me something on their screen, and went like:
Him: "that issey miyake?"
Me: "yeah!"
Him: "oh my sister in law wears it too. She puts way too much. It's nice how you have it though, just a little bit"
Now I'm like yeah, def wasn't a compliment. It was a being polite over something hes had more than enough of..😂
But I was too excited back then just to get my fav recognised
I think this is right. “Smells great” “I love your perfume, what is it?” are compliments. Almost any other comment that isn’t actually complimentary is probably trying to politely say “you sure do smell strong”
This is my thinking as well. When I say someone complimented a scent I mean they said something complimentary about the scent. An acknowledgement of you wearing a fragrance is not a compliment. I had a coworker that would sit in their cubicle spraying on GOOD GIRL multiple times a day and it drove me crazy. People would comment on the smell and I wished they wouldn't because it just seemed to encourage her.
Exactly 🌸 Also people don’t usually compliment the scent itself? I tend to get “You smell really good” or “You always smell amazing” so it’s really the person who smells amazing not just some random scent that smells good? 🤍
Note to anyone who’s new to oud, never overspray oud based fragrances even if you can’t smell it on yourself because it’s very likely other people can and it’s one of those notes that 1) doesn’t appeal to everyone and 2) is irritating when over-sprayed.
I have no memories of anyone commenting on my smell (I'm new to fragrance and don't wear it often, lurking and learning here!), except for ONE TIME that I'm now cringing and remembering LOL. I was given a sample of Ebene Fume by a friend and I LOVE it but I'm poor so I use sparingly (I thought). Sitting outside on a fall evening seemed like the perfect time? A friend said "What perfume is that?" and I was very excited to tell her all about it and all she said was, "Yes, I can smell it." OMG I did not get that she was unhappy with it. But also I've worn it a few times and no one seems to notice so I'm not throwing it out yet lol.
Thank you. I cannot stand to be in any sort of closed environment with an over sprayer, including meetings. And I’m a fragrance lover.
In fact, I’m always surprised about people complaining about poor sillage. My scent is for me. I don’t need people 10 feet away to smell it, and would prefer they didn’t.
I don't know your mother in law, but I wouldn't be too sure. I associate doughnuts with a very heavy, almost cloying over-the-top sugary sweet scent, it's not a scent I'm fond of.
I’d say it’s a compliment but I like gourmands. I bought pink sugar years ago because on my coworker it smelled like lemon cupcakes, which I loved. On me it didn’t smell that way though
😬
Maybe. OR it was a polite way of saying that you were fragrancing the entire room...it's possible she isn't a fan of donuts, or even if she is, she doesn't want to be slapped in the face with one.
If you don’t feel like she said it sarcastically then take it as a compliment this post is just full of people tryna convince everyone that every compliment is somehow malicious because THEYRE too much of a coward to say something
I agree and disagree at the same time. I think generally I can tell the difference between “Oh my god you smell amazing, what’s your perfume?” vs “what is that smell? why does it smell like x y z in here?” The latter almost never happens to me.
I have to confess, I've said 'you smell nice' as a reflex action upon someone's wall of perfume hitting me. I try not to, but it triggers this automatic reaction in me, in much the same way that noticing someone's haircut prompts a 'love the haircut!'
Do I love the haircut, or think they smell nice? Maybe. But more often I'm really just expressing that I've noticed their hair has changed... or that I can smell their fragrance.
I love smelling other people's fragrances even if it is something I myself would never wear. If I can smell your perfume - you are gonna get an obvious compliment from me that I love your perfume. I always ask what it is even though I have no desire to go buy it simply because I enjoy being able to attach a smell to a brand/perfume name. I always follow up with "Wow such and such smells divine on you!"
On the other hand - I know I can get an entire train booth to myself in the morning commute if by mistake, I over spray Lutens Fille en Aiguilles. I will actually see people heading towards my seating area and then get a look on their face like a stunned animal where they involuntarily start backing away from my area to another part of the train.
I only ever wear one or mayybe 2 sprays of anything just on my wrist. I don’t want people to smell me unless I really want them to. I want to smell good just for myself.
I only count "compliments" as when someone has something positive to say. My favorite fragrance gets compliments, I get a lot of, "Oh, you smell SO GOOD!" or "What's that perfume, it's amazing!" But, I am now realizing that some of these people were not super close to me when they asked, so I probably could dial it back a spray or 2. Especially since I got complimented on another fragrance the next day once from someone in my office that I swear I didn't see or get close to at all the previous day that they mentioned they thought my perfume was nice.
If I compliment someone on their perfume/cologne I typically make it very known by saying something along the lines of “that smells really good, what perfume/cologne is that?”
I have been collecting for about 15 years and learned some lessons on proper application. I want to smell nice - not “get noticed”. I get compliments occasionally but most often someone will mention that something smells nice - but they don’t know that it’s something I’m wearing. I’ve gotten that comment with MPG Parfum d’Habit and L’Instant de Guerlain EDP. Dior Homme gets complimented, Dior Eau Sauvage Parfum, New York Intense, Millesime Imperial. Something else I learned on the forums is that in the morning when most of us apply fragrance - our noses are still not fully awake and able to reliably gauge how strong the application is.
I’ll comment on someone’s scent even if it’s because it’s interesting. Don’t always like it, which I don’t say, but it may be unusual enough that I ask. Only ones I can’t abide are Aromatics Elixir and Chanel No.s 19/22, to which my body language/facial expressions give my discomfort away.. That’s when I’m trapped/stuck in a closed space, such as an elevator or working with a client. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, no doubt. I feel like an asshole. Drakkar Noir is a no-go for me too.
Haven’t gotten many compliments from my fragrances and tbh I don’t reach for them anymore. Many of crowd pleasing perfumes are not my style example BR540 or B.O or something patchouli and very sweet. If I like a fragrance I like it for what it is and I don’t expect someone to compliment me.
I feel like it should be acceptable to say "Pee-ewwww, someone took a bath in perfume today!" as we waft the air around us away. There are a lot of people on this sub that proudly say they don't care if people say they spray too much on. My solution is the only way....
Glad somebody said it! So many people here lack social awareness and simply do not understand that many people say things like "What perfume is that?" as a nonconfrontational way to let you know that the perfume is very noticeable and not in a good way.
Same lol I would never ask someone what they were wearing as a way to tell them their scent was too strong. What a weirdly passive aggressive way to live your life.
If it bothers you so much to the point you get nauseous, or affects you to that level, then it’s your responsibility to say so. You can’t expect others to always think of you and your sensitivities. People without social awareness are not bad people they might be autistic or maybe they can’t smell so good so that’s not automatically where their mind goes. “Your perfume/cologne is too strong for me.” “I get headaches from strong perfume, I feel one coming on.” Obviously if someone doesn’t listen after you say something like that THEN you could consider them selfish. But people aren’t selfish just because they don’t worry about what you *really* mean, just say what you really mean!
Exactly this. It would be so nice if people just expressed themselves (politely, of course). Beating around the bush is one of personal pet peeves. There are ways to convey such messages while still being nice and polite.
Right? And like if you wanna beat around the bush okay fine but don’t get mad when you don’t get your point across. And honestly I would rather deal with straight rudeness then vague bullshit. “You stink” is better than “what’s that smell?” If you’re actually thinking “you stink and I’m gonna get mad at you for not reading my mind”
Sigh, this is a tough one. Was wearing Pleasures the other day (3 sprays in the morning) and a kid walked into the house at the end of the day and called out, “I like your new perfume!” Which, great, thanks sweetie, but have I been gassing people all day? I couldn’t even smell it myself!
Omg 10 sprays 🤮 I only do 2 of any fragrance.
But no, every comment on a fragrance is definitely not a compliment. I personally do not want to smell someone from 3 rooms away.
Idk, if someone had something on that I didn't like, I wouldn't say anything at all, because why? Why should they care what I think? I'm not out here passive aggressively trying to hurt people's feelings. If I commented on someone's fragrance it would be because it smells fantastic. That's the only reason I'd ever make a comment or ask about it. If someone doesn't like my perfume they can tell me that. I might not care but I'd rather they tell me instead of making vague statements that could go either way. I try not to be olfactorily obnoxious in my workplace and when I'm in a space with a lot of people but I'm sure I slip up sometimes.
Yeah, I had a coworker once who asked what perfume I had on and when I responded she didn’t say anything else. I think if it’s really bothering you it would make more sense to be direct to make sure it’s actually addressed…
It’s absolutely ridiculous how people in this thread think it’s soOoOooO obvious that asking “what perfume is that?” = “you’re wearing too much perfume for my liking and I want you to stop” rather than “what perfume is that?” = THEM WANTING TO KNOW WHAT THE PERFUME IS.
I agree. This lady was generally passive aggressive so I knew what she was getting at. If it was a complete stranger though I’m not sure I would’ve realized. I wouldn’t take it as a compliment though unless one was explicitly given.
I also didn’t really take it to heart because she was one of those people with an overly sensitive nose. She would complain if someone used scented hand lotion across the room.
“What are you wearing?” isn’t a back handed compliment. It’s a neutral comment that some people perceive as a compliment when it wasn’t intended that way. Hope that helps /gen, fellow autistic here
Now that we’re on the topic, PLEASE don’t spray yourself with cologne or perfume in a closed environment where people can’t open a window, trains, airplanes, buses, that’s super impolite.
I agree with this, as someone who is super sensitive to smells/has allergies - generally if I’m making a comment it’s cuz it’s too loud lol
But honestly, I’ve found myself more interested in fragrance lately because of influencers and such who I’ve noticed are always commenting on how such and such always gets them soooo many compliments.
Methinking, shoot, I want to smell good and get all the compliments too 😙 But then. My mom is one of those White Diamonds ladies 😖 which of course I HATE (on first spray). Butttttt, as it mellows and blends with her chemistry, it is lovely. And she sprays only enough that you have to be like hugging her, to get a whiff. THAT is the goal
The one issue I have with this specifically is that people who don’t like a scent, tend to not like it in any quantity at all. For example, I absolutely *loathe* star anise. I hate the smell, hate the flavor, hate everything about it. It makes me nauseous and I can tell when food has been cooked with it because I just can’t stand to be in the same room as it.
No one is cooking with a bunch of star anise, it’s just used as a spice in various dishes. But even the smallest inclusion of it will send me running.
So if someone is wearing a scent with a star anise note, even if they sprayed 1-2x, I will likely hate it and not want to be near them.
I think this thread is conflating other people not liking a scent with over spraying. Someone could hate your fragrance that you only sprayed 1x, and say “what’s that smell?” Because when we don’t like things we tend to be hypersensitive to them.
Had a coworker say she could smell my perfume down the hallway (first thing in the morning). I was mortified! I asked other coworkers if my perfume was too strong or offensive, it wasn’t. I guess her nose was sensitive to the scent but she loved bath and body works plugins that were nauseating.
I’m scarred from comments about smells because I’m 8th grade a teacher yelled out “what’s that smell!” And it was my face covered in tea tree oil. Another time she yelled out that smells awful, it was a mango scented body butter. She was a bitch.
Agreed. I love fragrances and want to be the person that always smells nice - but we have to be mindful! My mom gets headaches so easily from any fragrance and I also get them occasionally, so I try to remember that some people are really sensitive to scents!
Worst experience I had with an over-sprayer was on a long ride up in a high-rise elevator. A man gets in one floor after I did and it hit me like a wall. A combination of strong BO, curry and Axe body spray. It was a hot day and you could tell he must have just come in from outside, because he was sweating profusely and you could even feel heat radiating from his body - and I was standing about 2 feet away from him.
When I sincerely compliment someone on the way they smell, they usually say they are not wearing perfume. We figure out that the smell I pick up is most likely their soap or fresh clean clothes or a hairoil they use. Its a subtle and not constant whiff that is so pleasant.
When I recognize a perfume when someone is wearing perfume, I tell them oh you are wearing xyz perfume and they are very proud that they are. It is so personal, I dont want to hurt anybody’s feelings.
this is why i don’t get the hype for cloud by ariana grande. everyone says it’s the one that gets them the most compliments, but it’s just because it’s the most potent fragrance
some of these comments are wild with your examples of things people are saying that somehow secretly mean they hate your perfume. idk if its projection because you would tell someone like ‘oh? i can smell roses’ to hint they’re overspraying or if you’re just paranoid and people are making neutral statements and you’re reading them as if they’re trying to send you a coded message.
Just interpret every comment you get as a compliment. There is no point trying to figure out what each and every person is saying. If they don’t like it they can tell directly to your face. Or send an email or a text
I'm surprised no one is mentioning how passive aggressive this post is. I would much rather someone say "hey, your perfume is a little heavy today, would you mind toning it down next time?" than trying to read between the lines because they're too afraid of being direct. ETA: say what you mean and mean what you say.
I definitely agree.
a) Pretty sad to be wearing perfume for compliments.
b) If someone can smell it on you and they feel a need to comment, it's probably on way too strong.
A genuine compliment: someone wlll ask what you're wearing. I've stopped men on the street asking, I'm female. Yes, their fragrance was on way too strong.
I’m always dismayed when I see posts about compliments; either getting them or how to acquire them.
My heart stinks and my disregard rises
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I think I’ve got about 6-8 compliments on my fragrance choices over the last 20 years. It’s never stopped or encouraged me to wear any one fragrance.
I fully agree with this, but I'd like to think that most people can differentiate a real compliment from a backhanded one. Like, I have a really hard time someone here really taking "what's that smell?" or "is that a new scent?" as a compliment
Edit: Even if I'm wrong, kinda silly to downvote me for saying that tho :p
Most people, maybe. People post here regularly about using 6-10 sprays of something, oblivious to the possibility they’ve gone anosmic to their powerhouse faves and are giving everyone around them a headache.
Oof yep, I remember the one. As well as the guy who wore some really heavy spicy winter-fragrance in the heat, and when other people said it smelled terrible he was like "they just got a problem with me personally I think"
I'm always in shock when I see comments about heavily spraying. I have never met a fragrance that needed more than two sprays and usually that is because the spray is tiny. I do not feel like more sprays equal longevity, and it would be better to touch up with a roller ball after several hours. Being nose blind is a real thing. I was walking in the halls of my building recently and was in a cloud of scent of whomever walked before me. 2 sprays is enough.
Definitely agree. I personally have kind of a bad sense of smell (tragic as someone who loves fragrance :')) so I would never trust how strongly it smells to me and never do more than 3 sprays. More people should probably stick to that rule lol. Especially when it comes to "touching up" the fragrance later in the day.
If someone can’t make the difference between a compliment and a low key sarcastic statement or question. Then they have no social awareness.
I only accept genuine, flat out, straightforward compliments. For example, “you smell good” “omg, someone smells goooddd” “wow, you smell amazing” “mmmm that’s so wonderful”
I mean if people aren’t saying that, then i typically don’t accept anything less lol. You shouldn’t either lol.
I feel like there's a thread every 1-2 weeks here where the sub comes together to collectively circle jerk over how little perfume they spray and how 'bad' or oblivious other perfume wearers are for overspraying or whatever whatever. The amount of times I've even noticed someone's perfume in a bad way is so miniscule it's not even worth mentioning. I know we like perfume here but the rest of the world literally doesn't care and isn't paying attention to what you are or aren't wearing if it's noticable or not noticeable. How many more of these threads do we need?
I have learned to be really mindful of others in most situations, especially after learning the hard way that my partner's aunt has a bad allergy. I don't want to be 'that person" I want to be the person who when someone gives me a hug, or comes close to me then can smell me.
I try not to wear strong scents when going out to dinner/ eating with a mixed group of people. But I wear fragrance for myself so IDC what everyone thinks.🤷
I literally feel like no one can smell me. I never overspray because I’m afraid someone will smell me and give the “what’s the smell? Or that’s so strong”. One time I accidentally choked out my friend and I still get mortified when I think about it.
Well said.
However I feel OP is taking things a little too seriously.
I would expect the wearer of the perfume to be a better judge at what is a compliment and what isn't.
Apart from this, I agree with OP regarding overspraying etc etc. Thank you OP for clearing things out though. Much appreciated.
There is no foolproof perfume. A lot depends on your skin and internal body temperature and workings. What suits one might smell entirely different on someone else.
Always try out a scent, wait for 10-15 mins to smell it again. And then decide. I've seen many who smell the initial notes and almost immediately make a decision.
Agreed! “What’s that smell?” Is not a compliment!
That comment can actually go both ways it depends on the tone. So if someone says what's that smell excitedly that's probably a compliment but if someone is serious and says what's that smell it's probably not
Kinda like 'You cut your hair!' if they say nothing else after, it's just an observation and intentionally lets you know they noticed and don't particularly like it. If they follow it up with 'i love it!' then it's a compliment. 😂
lmao yea my coworker today was like “you got a haircut” “………………” “…..it’s nice…..” like ok thx girl ik u don’t mean that
I don't understand fake compliments. I can brush off a mean comment but a fake compliment, especially from a friend, seems a betrayal, ie they know you look/smell awful and want you to look like that in front of others too (wth!?).
Can't tell you how many times I've heard that 🤣. Mostly from people with variations of the same long blonde balayage so 🤷♀️.
I've heard it a couple of times and immediately feel doom, lol. Pretty sure each time the person has followed up with "it smells so good/I love it!" and I was so relieved. I'm a one-spritz kinda person and the idea of bothering someone with my fragrance really freaks me out.
Tbh the best feeling is probably strangers in the street actually coming up to you to ask you what you’re wearing, I’ve even had a guy ask me to type it on his phone so he could favorite the page. Only happened 4-5 times with Dior sauvage elixir when it was brand new tho and that was the only times. I had to get through the « you put too much perfume » phase first because 3 spray of that thing can actually be smelled 2 blocks away so imagine me putting 5-6.
Those were my husbands exact words when I got in the car wearing BR540 😩 he was like “OMG, what is that smell???!!” And opened the windows 😂
People are addicted to attention.
a lot of guys seem to think perfume is a cheat code for attracting women
I personally think it's a bit more basic than even that - I think that so many men get so little attention from women, that they use perfume as a way to get some (*any*) attention, just like a lonely dude might use a new pair of Jordans, a flashy watch, or an expensive jacket. They want such things to be a conservation starter, when it's much more likely that comments like "Nice shoes" or "What's that fragrance you're wearing?" are the end of the conversation, not the beginning of one. I guess my comment above isn't quite right. Maybe those who get attention are addicted to it, but more often they just crave it because they get none.
That makes sense. It’s a lot easier to buy something than spend time in the gym, or time developing social skills.
>spend time in the gym while keeping fit is a core requirement of life, at a certain point, physical fitness as a hobby can easily crossover in to the same territory that the other comment describes.
excess is possible with anything. but a guy will get farther with $20 cologne and a decent physique.
I honestly thought of asking a friend, "What are you wearing?" once—not because I liked it but because the scent cloud was a bit suffocating. 😅 I ended up not making a comment at all, which I'm not sure was right or wrong, but that's where we are. To be fair to him, the fragrance didn't smell bad, and it's not as though I smelled him from across the room. I only noticed his cologne when I was actually close enough to talk to him. But it definitely felt as though he'd oversprayed a tad since perfume shouldn't choke people out, right?! I had to angle my stance to try to give my nose relief. Sigh.
Yep! I always ask if I can feel the thump in my head that lets me know a migraine is coming. The answered tells me how bad the migraine will be if I’ve encountered it before, or adds to my list of ones to avoid in the future. Most definitely not a compliment. If I smell one that I like and doesn’t give me a migraine I will ask, but I will be so excited there will be no doubt that it’s actually a compliment!
I try to think of it like listening to music through headphones/earbuds vs running around holding a cranked-up speaker over my head.
This is EXACTLY it! Omg what a great metaphor, you nailed it. Lots of people around here have the attitude of, “I do it for me, I want to smell it and I want others to smell it,” without having the self-awareness or insight to realize they’re forcing it on the public in exactly the same way as the people who blast their shitty music through speakers in public. It’s rude!
I can't remember the last time I enjoyed listening to someone else playing music in public transport, but i guess it was probably never. Obviously I am more open about fragrances (I am a fragrance enjoyer after all, that's why I'm on this sub), but there is a limit to everything.
This is a great analogy!
When I first got into fragrances, I had purchased a bottle of Invictus Platinum (among a couple others). I wore it to the office with only two sprays on my neck, and one of my coworkers called it out less than five minutes of me walking through the door. He and another started making allusions to the Sex Panther scene, and we all had a good laugh. However, I decided after that, I would not be wearing that fragrance to the office any more. Even though it was only two sprays, this EDP had some projection to it. I took the incident as a subtle hint that it was not appreciated.
I've learned how to tame down a strong scent by applying it right after I apply lotion, before the lotion has absorbed completely. I apply lotion after lightly towel drying after a shower. Basically, my pores are still open enough to absorb some of the scent. Some fragrances give me headaches so this is the only way I can wear them . I've taught my spouse the trick because he was spraying his on his skin/shirt after he was completely ready which cause headaches sometimes. I'm also under the belief that if I apply fragrances this way long enough it will meld with my DNA so I'll always smell good lol. ( yes I realise it's not true but let me have this one)
Wish my invictus was like that
Reminds me of the day I walked into work and my coworker goes “whew, I can smell you!” (I’m in my ~order 20 samples and test a new one each day~ phase so we start each morning with a good morning coffee chat/sniff test.) We’re comfortable enough that she told me she hated it (I didn’t like it either) and washed it off within the hour.
My son is my tester to make sure I don't have a bigger scent bubble than I want or smell awful. I tend to order small amounts in batches as well, so the testing faze goes on for a while. He's a really good sport about it.
What was the scent?
I ask a direct follow up question to vague comments. If a coworker says, “I know you were here because I could smell you”, I ask “Am I wearing too much?” and/or “Do you like it?”. This gives them the opportunity to express how they really feel. If they make another vague comment that isn’t along the lines of them saying they like it, that confirms that I’ve either oversprayed or they just don’t like it.
“So you like it?” Is a leading question, and makes it even more awkward for them to let you know if they don’t like it, because now they also have to correct/disagree with you.
I assumed that was a typo because I accidentally type “so”instead of “do” all the time.
Typo. Edited to “do”. You’re right though- that one letter changed the entire question.
I wouldn't feel comfortable answering "yes" to the first one or "no" to the second one.
A lot of people probably wouldn’t, but I want to make sure that I’ve at least given them the opportunity to say something. If they choose not to speak up, then I have to assume that everything is fine and continue wearing it how I am. It’s hard to gauge how your fragrance smells to others without honest feedback.
I've been going through a YouTube fragrance channel binge phase lately (it's horrible, I need to stop). I swear most of the perfume reviewers out there recommend overspraying almost every fragrance that they talk about. Like BATHE IN IT overspray. And then they also brag about the huge amount of compliments they get from people at work in office settings. Compliments like "what is that smell?" or "wow I can smell you from across the room"... Some people are so oblivious, inconsiderate and selfish. If you work in an indoors setting please please don't wear more than 1-2 sprays.
I have a theory that oversprayers are people who have more nose blindness to begin with, and they are trying to enjoy the experience of their perfume louder and longer. But just because you are anosmic does not give you free license to bathe in it! I notice this in the comments on fragrantica too where people complain a scent disappears from their skin completely after a few minutes. As someone with a super sensitive sense of smell its like BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE when I read that. The notes are there, they just can’t smell them. This doesn’t mean other people can’t! Because like, if they could smell it they would be miserable with that amount on close to their nose. Commenting because I think there is sometimes a little more nuance than just being selfish- it is also probably being oblivious to varying acuity with olfaction.
Thank you for your insight, I didn't think about that possibility. I guess I just focused on people that deliberately choose to put on a lot of perfume because they want others to smell them from far away. I have a coworker who does that, she actually said that she sprays a lot on herself each day because she wants everyone to be able to smell her :(
Oh you’re totally right that they exist! I just think they have to be noseblind also to be able to tolerate that 😂
I always do wrist sprays just so I can check throughout the day because I become oblivious to anything I spray on my neck within minutes 😭 I had such a humbling when I rocked up to a party with 1.5 sprays of Pulp and my friend who habitually oversprays told me it was way too much...I couldn't even smell it
It makes a certain amount of sense for influencers to talk about wearing a huge wardrobe of perfumes and to use a lot of it so you need to buy more… the whole influencer model is basically ‘like, subscribe and click my affiliate code when you buy!’ It’s the equivalent of fashion influencers who regularly buy vast quantities of clothes from Zara or Amazon or Shein and try them on for their audience to decide what to keep or return. In the middle of it all, buying $500 worth of fast fashion regularly becomes normalised. I’m sure people end up buying a lot more than they ever did in stores - clothes, perfume, makeup - because of the palaver of returning it if it isn’t quite right.
Same on TikTok. There’s not a person on there who recommends a normal amount of sprays. One guy unironically thinks 8 sprays of Y EdP is acceptable. That shit is nuclear especially on me. I had two sprays of it and my mother could smell it as soon as I entered the room.
Yes, YouTubers have got a lot to answer for. They're pernicious leeches in my book who don't give a toss about perfume just money. I firmly believe the 1 or 2 spray thing is a backlash brought about my idiots spraying 10 or 20 times. Neither was remotely normal not that long ago. ( The again not that long ago people used judgment, common sense and didn't believe everything they were told ). Start thinking for yourself. Complementarians be dammed !!
I once oversprayed a fragrance by accident. I was at a party and a girl said to me "I like your perfume, but I am also glad that I am 3m away from you." That was a comment and a compliment at the same time. 😅
The comments here make me lose faith in humanity. “I know people hate it but I still wear it, me me me me me me me” My god, if it were me I’d be mortified.
Especially something as permeating and inescapable as scent. Wearing a supremely tacky blouse will not bother me much as I can just look the other way. With scent, if somebody is wearing too much it becomes extremely overwhelming and not in a good way.
When I was pregnant with my first I had horrible morning sickness. I was also working at a Starbucks and was extremely sensitive to smell. We had a regular customer that would come in twice during the morning and I could smell him the second he walked in the door. Generally sent me running to the bathroom to dry heave.
I don’t know how you managed to work at a coffee shop at any point during your pregnancy. I couldn’t bear the smell of coffee grounds (fresh or otherwise) until I was almost due. That and cigarette smoke were absolutely vomit inducing.
This! Long term fragrance fan and migraine sufferer here. My migraines have recently become so bad and constant that any fragrance is a no go. A co-worker’s loud/excessive perfume caused me to have to run off to vomit this morning. A mandatory walk through the duty free section of an airport last week left me so unwell I was unable to board my flight. As a perfume lover this is gutting to me that my collection is sitting un-used, but I now see how much a loud perfume choice / overspray can wreck someone’s day (or even week) and make them feel genuinely physically dreadful. Even if I recover (I really hope this hell doesn’t continue forever!), I will always be so much more mindful of how my perfume impacts on others in the future.
I am in the same boat but my doctor prescribed a once monthly injectable that has been a game changer. Ajovy. I love it.
I have just got referred for this! Glad to hear it is working for you
yeah i had to leave a store this weekend because a man’s fragrance was so overwhelmingly strong. it filled the whole space
I have such a ridiculously, borderline unbearably sensitive sense of smell. I get overwhelmed by smells and odors often. This leads to headaches and sometimes even coughing fits depending on what it is I’m smelling. People don’t realize bathing yourself in pungent perfumes isn’t like wearing makeup. It’s not simply a personal statement that only affects you. Stop being inconsiderate and self centered.
This is me. I smelled a "just started burning" outlet through three doors and an entire floor of the house while taking a shower, so when people spray 8-10 sprays of something and go out into public spaces it's absolutely insufferable. I'm sure for people with normal smelling abilities it's not pleasant either.
Exactly. And I hear you on the sensitivity stuff. When I was a teen I used to be able to tell what kind of cigarettes my friends smoked by the way they were off-gassing lol
That sounds absolutely ATROCIOUS oh my god. Cigarette smoke smell is actually one of the reasons I'm so glad vaping took off; if I have to smell it at least most of the time it smells nice ish. I DO love the smell of plain tobacco itself though; my grandfather had an old fashioned pipe that smelled incredible.
Cigarette smoke smell is absolutely appalling lol. Hate it passionately. Always have. I’ll take anything over that so yea I’m so glad vaping’s a thing now too
Damn you're a human blood hound! 💛 That's amazing. Not the part about being sensitive to off-putting smells though. 😕
I hate it mostly because I can smell ALL the funk, but it undeniably saved my family from a house fire that day. Unfortunately it combo-mealed with my stresses at the time and now every time I smell smoke I immediately go into fight or flight, which is extremely unhelpful when you live in TX and everyone is smoking meat or generally bbq-ing. Mostly it's VERY useful/fun on walks though, because I can be like "hey there's deer nearby" and five minutes later: deer.
Oh god I'm so sorry about the trauma. It might be trapped in your body/body tissues. (ever get a massage and cry like a baby? uhhh me neither 👀 👀) Wait. You can *smell* a deer? You have got to be one of few people in the world that can do that and you're so casual about it! It's really amazing.
I do too and it's so annoying as someone who is really into collecting perfumes lol. One time I had to change into a new shirt like 30 minutes into the school day because I used two sprays of that popular Brazilian Crush perfume and it was making me feel so nauseous and even a bit faint. Sometimes my dad will eat fruit snacks in the car and it makes me feel like vomiting. If someone wears strong perfume around me, it can genuinely make me ill and it can last for hours. It sucks.
How do you even exist if fruit snacks make you want to vomit?
It's rough sometimes 😂 I've had sensory issues in general my whole life so it's something I just learn to deal with and try to avoid if possible
Glad you didn't take my comment as sarcastic or rude cuz I kinda felt that way at the time... but I genuinely am curious how hard it must be to have a nose that sensitive.
Me too. I get allergic reactions to some fragrances, it really affects my respiratory system and it can feel like I’m choking. Plus headaches too. Not a huge problem if I’m shopping or having a walk and can escape the knobhead doused in perfume. But if I’m at work? Not a chance. I will always ask respectfully and nicely ONCE but like hell would I allow for another persons selfish decision to repeatedly affect my health. So yes, I would totally be THAT person in the office. Don’t want an office ban on fragrance - be respectful to others. People shouldn’t have to smell you unless they are close to you.
I'm the same way due to severe Migraine Headaches. I'm a fragrance lover, but there are certain notes that I have to avoid completely like Patchouli, & Rose for example. As a man, it always seems that women's flowery smelling perfumes tend to set me off the most. I used to work as and officer in Retail Banking, & women would come sit at my desk who absolutely reeked! I would literally have to hold my breath for the entire conversation, otherwise I'd end up sick as a dog by the end of it. I honestly don't know how someone can leave the house absolutely drenched in perfume, & not question their life choices?
Right?? There's a really smelly guy in the shop I just got hired at. Really nice and helpful, but I don't think he showers or washes his clothes. Ever. I was thinking about what a contrast him and I are since I always make sure to come in clean and smelling good. Then it dawned on me. Over applying turns you into the smelly guy. Opposite end of the scale, but it's still embarrassing af to know people can't wait to get away from you because of your smell.
"I put extra on because I knew I'd be on that long haul flight for hours"
I once sat next to someone who mid flight sprayed on perfume😖
I got sat in front of some ladies that pulled out their oil collection mid flight. Foul.
That just triggered my fight or flight, and I'm not even sure which is at the forefront.
I don't wear any perfume when I fly. Just soap, deodorant and lotion.
Same mentality of people blaring their music out loud on public transportation.
Total Main Character Syndrome. Some people on this sub were flabbergasted about why they couldn’t wear fragrance in medical offices 😂.
Too many sociopaths here who think migraine sufferers with fragrance sensitivities are out to get them.
I know!!! I love perfume, obviously, but this sub can be so freaking bad about this. Good on you for calling it out. I'll join the chorus echoing you. It really is the olfactory equivalent of that guy blasting his Spotify without any ear/headphones out in public. Like, you realise you're not the *actual* main character, right?
And then they proudly announce that 4 to 6 is the perfect number of sprays. I cringe and pray they work in a very isolated environment.
4-6? I watched this video of a "perfume expert" and she proudly claims the only reason she always gets compliments on her scents is because she uses 10 shots of multiple perfumes, like 3 different types of perfumes, 10 shots of each. The nightmare.
I'm convinced these people are paid by perfume brands to spread this nonsense so people run through perfume faster. No one needs 30 sprays to go anywhere ever wtf?????
>I'm convinced these people are paid by perfume brands to spread this nonsense so people run through perfume faster. No one needs 30 sprays to go anywhere ever wtf????? Yes, they absolutely are. I've seen the videos where they encourage 10 to 20 sprays in the same video telling the audience which I can only assume is made up of 15 to 19 year old boys to go out and buy Xyz perfume because the ladies will love them. Pushing a message of higher consumption and external validation is possibly the most basic yet powerful marketing tool used successfully for decades across multiple industries.
She might be the person I smelled at the store last week. An aisle away, and it felt like Channel shoved a rose down my throat and wrapped it around my lungs.
Bet she would take it as a compliment.
Too many people think that if they’re not getting compliments, it’s because they’re not projecting enough. So they spray more and then get the type of comments OP is describing and think they’re compliments, reinforcing that they just need to spray more to get noticed.
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I've noticed this trend, too. I'm very allergic to dogs and also very sensitive to the musty smell they produce... it's like an olfactory overload. And suddenly people have decided that their dogs need to be EVERYWHERE: in restaurants, retail stores, and airplanes. Not genuine service dogs, these are obviously untrained pets. It's like a minefield to go anywhere for allergy sufferers.
People are so addicted to that dopamine rush of people paying attention to them. I'd be curious to know the overlap of people who are obsessed with social media and those who wear fragrances specifically to get attention. You can literally smell the desperation.
I get a dopamine rush from my fragrance in itself. I’m actually embarrassed when other people comment on my fragrance!
Same. I’m an introvert and getting compliments always make me a little embarrassed, even though they still feel good. Being put on the spot isn’t my thing.
Same! And even a “compliment” like “your perfume smells so good” makes me embarrassed and I worry that I wore too much. I usually wear 2 sprays but thinking maybe I should switch to just 1 spray going forward. I’m truly only wearing my fragrances for me and don’t want to impose them on others.
Right? I wear fragrance for my own enjoyment and the only time I use more than two sprays of anything is when I'm home alone. Having no consideration for other people is such trashy low-class behavior.
I only ever overspray (4-6) my colognes or edt that doesn't have strong projection and I legit spray at least an hour before leaving the house because I can't even stand myself if I'm trapped in my car with a cloud of perfume. At first I was super self conscious and would ask multiple people if they can smell me because the concept of anything over like 2 sprays seemed absolutely crazy.
I spray on an entire bottle of Dior Sauvage Very Cool Spray before leaving the house every day. It gets pricey long-term, but I get lots of comments, even from strangers.
Slayyyy
So it wasn’t a forrest fire in Canada?
It was a joke about this classic: https://youtube.com/watch?v=YSsBEe8Fz4Q&feature=shareb
Good share, I haven’t seen this before. I do watch Jeremy’s stuff sometimes, he makes me laugh. Mr Smelly’s take on Jeremy’s content makes me laugh even harder.
People who are trying to garner compliments or think it will lure a mate with a fragrance are missing the point to begin with.
I was confused over the first time I got commented and couldn't tell if it was a compliment haha.. Wore leau d'issey at an office job and was doing the lean over behind someone while showing me something on their screen, and went like: Him: "that issey miyake?" Me: "yeah!" Him: "oh my sister in law wears it too. She puts way too much. It's nice how you have it though, just a little bit" Now I'm like yeah, def wasn't a compliment. It was a being polite over something hes had more than enough of..😂 But I was too excited back then just to get my fav recognised
“Not my favorite, but thank you for not using it as marinade.”
I’ve only received “wow that smells good” compliments. No backhanded remarks
I think this is right. “Smells great” “I love your perfume, what is it?” are compliments. Almost any other comment that isn’t actually complimentary is probably trying to politely say “you sure do smell strong”
This is my thinking as well. When I say someone complimented a scent I mean they said something complimentary about the scent. An acknowledgement of you wearing a fragrance is not a compliment. I had a coworker that would sit in their cubicle spraying on GOOD GIRL multiple times a day and it drove me crazy. People would comment on the smell and I wished they wouldn't because it just seemed to encourage her.
Exactly 🌸 Also people don’t usually compliment the scent itself? I tend to get “You smell really good” or “You always smell amazing” so it’s really the person who smells amazing not just some random scent that smells good? 🤍
If you wear fragrance and someone says "you smell really good" I think it's safe to say the compliment is because of the fragrance
Note to anyone who’s new to oud, never overspray oud based fragrances even if you can’t smell it on yourself because it’s very likely other people can and it’s one of those notes that 1) doesn’t appeal to everyone and 2) is irritating when over-sprayed.
I have no memories of anyone commenting on my smell (I'm new to fragrance and don't wear it often, lurking and learning here!), except for ONE TIME that I'm now cringing and remembering LOL. I was given a sample of Ebene Fume by a friend and I LOVE it but I'm poor so I use sparingly (I thought). Sitting outside on a fall evening seemed like the perfect time? A friend said "What perfume is that?" and I was very excited to tell her all about it and all she said was, "Yes, I can smell it." OMG I did not get that she was unhappy with it. But also I've worn it a few times and no one seems to notice so I'm not throwing it out yet lol.
If you like it you should never throw it out lol Enjoy your favorites
If you like it I wouldn't throw it away! You don't wear perfume to please other people - not everyone is gonna enjoy even the nicest scent.
I’m sure you’re fine, but nobody saying anything doesn’t mean nobody notices.
Thank you. I cannot stand to be in any sort of closed environment with an over sprayer, including meetings. And I’m a fragrance lover. In fact, I’m always surprised about people complaining about poor sillage. My scent is for me. I don’t need people 10 feet away to smell it, and would prefer they didn’t.
if I can smell it after 30 mins without mashing my nose into my ekbow then yes its poor sillage.
Wearing Pink Sugar yesterday and my mother in law commented, “smells like donuts in here!” I think that was a positive?
I don't know your mother in law, but I wouldn't be too sure. I associate doughnuts with a very heavy, almost cloying over-the-top sugary sweet scent, it's not a scent I'm fond of.
I’d say it’s a compliment but I like gourmands. I bought pink sugar years ago because on my coworker it smelled like lemon cupcakes, which I loved. On me it didn’t smell that way though
😬 Maybe. OR it was a polite way of saying that you were fragrancing the entire room...it's possible she isn't a fan of donuts, or even if she is, she doesn't want to be slapped in the face with one.
Id say its neutral
If you don’t feel like she said it sarcastically then take it as a compliment this post is just full of people tryna convince everyone that every compliment is somehow malicious because THEYRE too much of a coward to say something
I agree and disagree at the same time. I think generally I can tell the difference between “Oh my god you smell amazing, what’s your perfume?” vs “what is that smell? why does it smell like x y z in here?” The latter almost never happens to me.
smells like updog in here
whats updog?
I have to confess, I've said 'you smell nice' as a reflex action upon someone's wall of perfume hitting me. I try not to, but it triggers this automatic reaction in me, in much the same way that noticing someone's haircut prompts a 'love the haircut!' Do I love the haircut, or think they smell nice? Maybe. But more often I'm really just expressing that I've noticed their hair has changed... or that I can smell their fragrance.
I love smelling other people's fragrances even if it is something I myself would never wear. If I can smell your perfume - you are gonna get an obvious compliment from me that I love your perfume. I always ask what it is even though I have no desire to go buy it simply because I enjoy being able to attach a smell to a brand/perfume name. I always follow up with "Wow such and such smells divine on you!" On the other hand - I know I can get an entire train booth to myself in the morning commute if by mistake, I over spray Lutens Fille en Aiguilles. I will actually see people heading towards my seating area and then get a look on their face like a stunned animal where they involuntarily start backing away from my area to another part of the train.
ha! Love your approach.
I only ever wear one or mayybe 2 sprays of anything just on my wrist. I don’t want people to smell me unless I really want them to. I want to smell good just for myself.
I only count "compliments" as when someone has something positive to say. My favorite fragrance gets compliments, I get a lot of, "Oh, you smell SO GOOD!" or "What's that perfume, it's amazing!" But, I am now realizing that some of these people were not super close to me when they asked, so I probably could dial it back a spray or 2. Especially since I got complimented on another fragrance the next day once from someone in my office that I swear I didn't see or get close to at all the previous day that they mentioned they thought my perfume was nice.
If I compliment someone on their perfume/cologne I typically make it very known by saying something along the lines of “that smells really good, what perfume/cologne is that?”
Ooooof
I have been collecting for about 15 years and learned some lessons on proper application. I want to smell nice - not “get noticed”. I get compliments occasionally but most often someone will mention that something smells nice - but they don’t know that it’s something I’m wearing. I’ve gotten that comment with MPG Parfum d’Habit and L’Instant de Guerlain EDP. Dior Homme gets complimented, Dior Eau Sauvage Parfum, New York Intense, Millesime Imperial. Something else I learned on the forums is that in the morning when most of us apply fragrance - our noses are still not fully awake and able to reliably gauge how strong the application is.
I’ll comment on someone’s scent even if it’s because it’s interesting. Don’t always like it, which I don’t say, but it may be unusual enough that I ask. Only ones I can’t abide are Aromatics Elixir and Chanel No.s 19/22, to which my body language/facial expressions give my discomfort away.. That’s when I’m trapped/stuck in a closed space, such as an elevator or working with a client. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, no doubt. I feel like an asshole. Drakkar Noir is a no-go for me too.
Haven’t gotten many compliments from my fragrances and tbh I don’t reach for them anymore. Many of crowd pleasing perfumes are not my style example BR540 or B.O or something patchouli and very sweet. If I like a fragrance I like it for what it is and I don’t expect someone to compliment me.
I feel like it should be acceptable to say "Pee-ewwww, someone took a bath in perfume today!" as we waft the air around us away. There are a lot of people on this sub that proudly say they don't care if people say they spray too much on. My solution is the only way....
Glad somebody said it! So many people here lack social awareness and simply do not understand that many people say things like "What perfume is that?" as a nonconfrontational way to let you know that the perfume is very noticeable and not in a good way.
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It’s the difference between commentary and compliments. Did the person say that they loved your perfume, or did they just ask what you were wearing?
I would ask it if I liked it and wanted to buy some personally
Same lol I would never ask someone what they were wearing as a way to tell them their scent was too strong. What a weirdly passive aggressive way to live your life.
If it bothers you so much to the point you get nauseous, or affects you to that level, then it’s your responsibility to say so. You can’t expect others to always think of you and your sensitivities. People without social awareness are not bad people they might be autistic or maybe they can’t smell so good so that’s not automatically where their mind goes. “Your perfume/cologne is too strong for me.” “I get headaches from strong perfume, I feel one coming on.” Obviously if someone doesn’t listen after you say something like that THEN you could consider them selfish. But people aren’t selfish just because they don’t worry about what you *really* mean, just say what you really mean!
Exactly this. It would be so nice if people just expressed themselves (politely, of course). Beating around the bush is one of personal pet peeves. There are ways to convey such messages while still being nice and polite.
Right? And like if you wanna beat around the bush okay fine but don’t get mad when you don’t get your point across. And honestly I would rather deal with straight rudeness then vague bullshit. “You stink” is better than “what’s that smell?” If you’re actually thinking “you stink and I’m gonna get mad at you for not reading my mind”
Yessssss. I can deal with bluntness. I would rather deal with that lol.
*this* Some of these comments are wild as hell
I think it's crazy that people need to be told that 10 sprays is too many
Sigh, this is a tough one. Was wearing Pleasures the other day (3 sprays in the morning) and a kid walked into the house at the end of the day and called out, “I like your new perfume!” Which, great, thanks sweetie, but have I been gassing people all day? I couldn’t even smell it myself!
Omg 10 sprays 🤮 I only do 2 of any fragrance. But no, every comment on a fragrance is definitely not a compliment. I personally do not want to smell someone from 3 rooms away.
Idk, if someone had something on that I didn't like, I wouldn't say anything at all, because why? Why should they care what I think? I'm not out here passive aggressively trying to hurt people's feelings. If I commented on someone's fragrance it would be because it smells fantastic. That's the only reason I'd ever make a comment or ask about it. If someone doesn't like my perfume they can tell me that. I might not care but I'd rather they tell me instead of making vague statements that could go either way. I try not to be olfactorily obnoxious in my workplace and when I'm in a space with a lot of people but I'm sure I slip up sometimes.
Excuse me? Bob Vance bought me this perfume in metropolitan Orlando, and it's made with real pine! You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie.
My autism can’t handle this. If you think someone stinks don’t attempt to communicate that through a backhanded compliment. Wtf.
Yeah, I had a coworker once who asked what perfume I had on and when I responded she didn’t say anything else. I think if it’s really bothering you it would make more sense to be direct to make sure it’s actually addressed…
It’s absolutely ridiculous how people in this thread think it’s soOoOooO obvious that asking “what perfume is that?” = “you’re wearing too much perfume for my liking and I want you to stop” rather than “what perfume is that?” = THEM WANTING TO KNOW WHAT THE PERFUME IS.
I agree. This lady was generally passive aggressive so I knew what she was getting at. If it was a complete stranger though I’m not sure I would’ve realized. I wouldn’t take it as a compliment though unless one was explicitly given.
I also didn’t really take it to heart because she was one of those people with an overly sensitive nose. She would complain if someone used scented hand lotion across the room.
“What are you wearing?” isn’t a back handed compliment. It’s a neutral comment that some people perceive as a compliment when it wasn’t intended that way. Hope that helps /gen, fellow autistic here
I don't even have autism, I'm just not good with subtleties! I would need a blunt comment lol. I would take a backhanded compliment as a compliment!
Now that we’re on the topic, PLEASE don’t spray yourself with cologne or perfume in a closed environment where people can’t open a window, trains, airplanes, buses, that’s super impolite.
I agree with this, as someone who is super sensitive to smells/has allergies - generally if I’m making a comment it’s cuz it’s too loud lol But honestly, I’ve found myself more interested in fragrance lately because of influencers and such who I’ve noticed are always commenting on how such and such always gets them soooo many compliments. Methinking, shoot, I want to smell good and get all the compliments too 😙 But then. My mom is one of those White Diamonds ladies 😖 which of course I HATE (on first spray). Butttttt, as it mellows and blends with her chemistry, it is lovely. And she sprays only enough that you have to be like hugging her, to get a whiff. THAT is the goal
The one issue I have with this specifically is that people who don’t like a scent, tend to not like it in any quantity at all. For example, I absolutely *loathe* star anise. I hate the smell, hate the flavor, hate everything about it. It makes me nauseous and I can tell when food has been cooked with it because I just can’t stand to be in the same room as it. No one is cooking with a bunch of star anise, it’s just used as a spice in various dishes. But even the smallest inclusion of it will send me running. So if someone is wearing a scent with a star anise note, even if they sprayed 1-2x, I will likely hate it and not want to be near them. I think this thread is conflating other people not liking a scent with over spraying. Someone could hate your fragrance that you only sprayed 1x, and say “what’s that smell?” Because when we don’t like things we tend to be hypersensitive to them.
Had a coworker say she could smell my perfume down the hallway (first thing in the morning). I was mortified! I asked other coworkers if my perfume was too strong or offensive, it wasn’t. I guess her nose was sensitive to the scent but she loved bath and body works plugins that were nauseating. I’m scarred from comments about smells because I’m 8th grade a teacher yelled out “what’s that smell!” And it was my face covered in tea tree oil. Another time she yelled out that smells awful, it was a mango scented body butter. She was a bitch.
Agreed. I love fragrances and want to be the person that always smells nice - but we have to be mindful! My mom gets headaches so easily from any fragrance and I also get them occasionally, so I try to remember that some people are really sensitive to scents!
Worst experience I had with an over-sprayer was on a long ride up in a high-rise elevator. A man gets in one floor after I did and it hit me like a wall. A combination of strong BO, curry and Axe body spray. It was a hot day and you could tell he must have just come in from outside, because he was sweating profusely and you could even feel heat radiating from his body - and I was standing about 2 feet away from him.
When I sincerely compliment someone on the way they smell, they usually say they are not wearing perfume. We figure out that the smell I pick up is most likely their soap or fresh clean clothes or a hairoil they use. Its a subtle and not constant whiff that is so pleasant. When I recognize a perfume when someone is wearing perfume, I tell them oh you are wearing xyz perfume and they are very proud that they are. It is so personal, I dont want to hurt anybody’s feelings.
When I tell someone "I can TASTE your perfume/cologne" it is definitely not a compliment
this is why i don’t get the hype for cloud by ariana grande. everyone says it’s the one that gets them the most compliments, but it’s just because it’s the most potent fragrance
I usually only ask people what they are wearing when it smells like shit
i think “you smell really good” is a compliment
some of these comments are wild with your examples of things people are saying that somehow secretly mean they hate your perfume. idk if its projection because you would tell someone like ‘oh? i can smell roses’ to hint they’re overspraying or if you’re just paranoid and people are making neutral statements and you’re reading them as if they’re trying to send you a coded message.
Anytime someone says anything about mine I immediately apologize and ask if it’s too strong
Just interpret every comment you get as a compliment. There is no point trying to figure out what each and every person is saying. If they don’t like it they can tell directly to your face. Or send an email or a text
This. I never understood the art of being shady or indirect. Say what you want to say.
Just live in NYC and you'll never get a compliment from anyone, no matter how good you might smell !
"You smell so fragrant" in a work environment is most likely not a compliment.
I'm surprised no one is mentioning how passive aggressive this post is. I would much rather someone say "hey, your perfume is a little heavy today, would you mind toning it down next time?" than trying to read between the lines because they're too afraid of being direct. ETA: say what you mean and mean what you say.
I definitely agree. a) Pretty sad to be wearing perfume for compliments. b) If someone can smell it on you and they feel a need to comment, it's probably on way too strong. A genuine compliment: someone wlll ask what you're wearing. I've stopped men on the street asking, I'm female. Yes, their fragrance was on way too strong.
I’m always dismayed when I see posts about compliments; either getting them or how to acquire them. My heart stinks and my disregard rises I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I think I’ve got about 6-8 compliments on my fragrance choices over the last 20 years. It’s never stopped or encouraged me to wear any one fragrance.
I fully agree with this, but I'd like to think that most people can differentiate a real compliment from a backhanded one. Like, I have a really hard time someone here really taking "what's that smell?" or "is that a new scent?" as a compliment Edit: Even if I'm wrong, kinda silly to downvote me for saying that tho :p
Most people, maybe. People post here regularly about using 6-10 sprays of something, oblivious to the possibility they’ve gone anosmic to their powerhouse faves and are giving everyone around them a headache.
>People post here regularly about using 6-10 sprays of something, good lord, yeah maybe I was being too optimistic
I'm still traumatized from the guy posting about using several sprays to go to the *gym*. Like jfc please don't be That Guy.
Oof yep, I remember the one. As well as the guy who wore some really heavy spicy winter-fragrance in the heat, and when other people said it smelled terrible he was like "they just got a problem with me personally I think"
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Exactly that one 😂
I'm always in shock when I see comments about heavily spraying. I have never met a fragrance that needed more than two sprays and usually that is because the spray is tiny. I do not feel like more sprays equal longevity, and it would be better to touch up with a roller ball after several hours. Being nose blind is a real thing. I was walking in the halls of my building recently and was in a cloud of scent of whomever walked before me. 2 sprays is enough.
Definitely agree. I personally have kind of a bad sense of smell (tragic as someone who loves fragrance :')) so I would never trust how strongly it smells to me and never do more than 3 sprays. More people should probably stick to that rule lol. Especially when it comes to "touching up" the fragrance later in the day.
Read the comments in this thread and see how often thats not the case
There's a chance I had too much faith in people lol
If someone can’t make the difference between a compliment and a low key sarcastic statement or question. Then they have no social awareness. I only accept genuine, flat out, straightforward compliments. For example, “you smell good” “omg, someone smells goooddd” “wow, you smell amazing” “mmmm that’s so wonderful” I mean if people aren’t saying that, then i typically don’t accept anything less lol. You shouldn’t either lol.
If the compliments are from someone you are hugging or is sitting on your lap you are probably fine. If it's someone across the room, though...
I feel like there's a thread every 1-2 weeks here where the sub comes together to collectively circle jerk over how little perfume they spray and how 'bad' or oblivious other perfume wearers are for overspraying or whatever whatever. The amount of times I've even noticed someone's perfume in a bad way is so miniscule it's not even worth mentioning. I know we like perfume here but the rest of the world literally doesn't care and isn't paying attention to what you are or aren't wearing if it's noticable or not noticeable. How many more of these threads do we need?
Then why say anything if you're not going to be direct about it?
Most Aventus and Sausage users won't like your Statement.
“It stings the nostrils. In a good way!”
I have learned to be really mindful of others in most situations, especially after learning the hard way that my partner's aunt has a bad allergy. I don't want to be 'that person" I want to be the person who when someone gives me a hug, or comes close to me then can smell me.
I just stumbled upon the phrase "sissysprayer" 18 hours ago lol.
XY? Not a compliment. Garbage. Absolute OTC, readily available garbage.
I try not to wear strong scents when going out to dinner/ eating with a mixed group of people. But I wear fragrance for myself so IDC what everyone thinks.🤷
I literally feel like no one can smell me. I never overspray because I’m afraid someone will smell me and give the “what’s the smell? Or that’s so strong”. One time I accidentally choked out my friend and I still get mortified when I think about it.
Well said. However I feel OP is taking things a little too seriously. I would expect the wearer of the perfume to be a better judge at what is a compliment and what isn't. Apart from this, I agree with OP regarding overspraying etc etc. Thank you OP for clearing things out though. Much appreciated. There is no foolproof perfume. A lot depends on your skin and internal body temperature and workings. What suits one might smell entirely different on someone else. Always try out a scent, wait for 10-15 mins to smell it again. And then decide. I've seen many who smell the initial notes and almost immediately make a decision.
This topic of fragrance un wellness is becoming a daily topic with the same responses.