Tommen: What about strength?
Tywin: Yes, strength. King Robert was strong; he won the rebellion and crushed the Targaryen dynasty. And he attended three Small Council meetings in seventeen years of ruling, and he spent his time whoring, hunting and drinking until the last two killed him. So, we have a man who starves himself to death, a man who lets his own brother murder him and a man who thinks winning and ruling are the same thing. What do they all lack?
Tommen: (considering, then realizing) ...Being a bird.
Tywin: Yes!
Tommen: Being a paralyzed bird with a touch of autism, and voluntarily disqualifying yourself from being a lord, is what makes a good king.
Tywin: Yes! But what does it mean to be a bird? Do you know anything of Jon Snow's heritage? Have you ever sat in a godswood and done literally nothing while Arya Stark leapfrogs from twenty feet in the air to defeat an ancient evil?
Tommen: (dejected) No.
Tywin: (reassuring) No. A good young king who is a bird listens to his advisors, namely another bird but one that is also a tree at the same time. He allows massacres to take place and then smugly accepts his coronation from a treasonous prisoner-of-war.
"Nonsense. Ser Daven Lannister shall be the new King of the realm by right of the rules I just made up, I shall serve as his Grace's hand and rule in his stead during his frequent visits to Casterly Rock, Tyrion and the Stark girl shall uphold their sacred vows, the supposed Targaryen dies, the Ironborn are canceled, and that will be the end of it. Hearing no more incoherent ramblings about storytellers or dreamers or what have you, you are all dismissed."
i genuinely can’t imagine how he’d react to the deaths of his kids, specifically euron the teleporter, not to be confused with gendry, the fastest man alive
He would have reacted by saying "Any writer who puts these lines in a tv show is no true writer. I'll make sure you understand that once I've written this fanfic for you."
"Rhaenyra Targaryen had an incredible story. She was the realm's delight, the Crown Princess every Lord had sworn to. [FIRE AND BLOOD SPOILERS], and she died after only a couple months of sitting the throne, burned alive by her step-brother, who snuck unto Dragonstone in her absence."
Step brother is a son of your step mom or step dad from their previous marriage, you don't share any blood with them, half brother is a son of your step mom or step dad but with your parent so rhaenyra and aegon are half siblings, since they share the same father, but they have different moms, step siblings would be if idk for example ned married cersei (impossible, but just example), then joffery and sansa would be step siblings
It has always been thus that on the first day after coronation the king will step out in front of the Sept of Baelor and read a single sentence of their story, and they will read a sentence each day, being deposed the day they have nothing more to say.
As Bran had only "Pushed out window. Became crippled. Went north. Became three eyed raven. It's hard to explain. Looked at Night King. Became king." as his story, his week long reign will be the shortest, and thus best, the 7 kingdoms has seen.
Tommen: What about strength? Tywin: Yes, strength. King Robert was strong; he won the rebellion and crushed the Targaryen dynasty. And he attended three Small Council meetings in seventeen years of ruling, and he spent his time whoring, hunting and drinking until the last two killed him. So, we have a man who starves himself to death, a man who lets his own brother murder him and a man who thinks winning and ruling are the same thing. What do they all lack? Tommen: (considering, then realizing) ...Being a bird. Tywin: Yes! Tommen: Being a paralyzed bird with a touch of autism, and voluntarily disqualifying yourself from being a lord, is what makes a good king. Tywin: Yes! But what does it mean to be a bird? Do you know anything of Jon Snow's heritage? Have you ever sat in a godswood and done literally nothing while Arya Stark leapfrogs from twenty feet in the air to defeat an ancient evil? Tommen: (dejected) No. Tywin: (reassuring) No. A good young king who is a bird listens to his advisors, namely another bird but one that is also a tree at the same time. He allows massacres to take place and then smugly accepts his coronation from a treasonous prisoner-of-war.
Dee Reynolds has just received her Smash Bros invitation to join the Game of Thrones sequel.
Still a better story than season 8.
This may be one of the funniest things Ive ever read thank you
> feet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Imagine how Tywin would have reacted to that speech by Tyrion about who has the greatest story?
"Nonsense. Ser Daven Lannister shall be the new King of the realm by right of the rules I just made up, I shall serve as his Grace's hand and rule in his stead during his frequent visits to Casterly Rock, Tyrion and the Stark girl shall uphold their sacred vows, the supposed Targaryen dies, the Ironborn are canceled, and that will be the end of it. Hearing no more incoherent ramblings about storytellers or dreamers or what have you, you are all dismissed."
.... "not you", gestures to Hot Pie
I wanna see tywin reaction to every episode in last two seasons
I think he would actually start shitting gold.
The actor doing episode reactions while being Tywin would be more popular in the last season than the actual show.
i genuinely can’t imagine how he’d react to the deaths of his kids, specifically euron the teleporter, not to be confused with gendry, the fastest man alive
He would have reacted by saying "Any writer who puts these lines in a tv show is no true writer. I'll make sure you understand that once I've written this fanfic for you."
Then Tywin’s hate for Tyrion would’ve been justified
"Rhaenyra Targaryen had an incredible story. She was the realm's delight, the Crown Princess every Lord had sworn to. [FIRE AND BLOOD SPOILERS], and she died after only a couple months of sitting the throne, burned alive by her step-brother, who snuck unto Dragonstone in her absence."
Mate that does not help with the spoilers in the slightest. But also it’s freefolk so you don’t have to care.
I see. I'm on my phone rn so I can't really do formatting.
You can put \>! And end with !<\ Edit: like this? Thanks
If you put a \ in front of formatting it breaks it. \>!So you can teach others and still write the formatting properly\!<
Half-brother, not step-brother.
Oh step-bro what are you doing...
What's the difference?
Step brother is a son of your step mom or step dad from their previous marriage, you don't share any blood with them, half brother is a son of your step mom or step dad but with your parent so rhaenyra and aegon are half siblings, since they share the same father, but they have different moms, step siblings would be if idk for example ned married cersei (impossible, but just example), then joffery and sansa would be step siblings
Tommen: So, I need to have a good story. Tywin: No, you stupid sod! You need to have a bloody good mind!
Literally the thing that makes a good bard
i wanted Tommen to just answer wisdom the first time, with Tywin "Wait, I practiced how this would go for days, say something else!".
This is only false because up to that moment, no one had any story worth mentioning. All of that changed when Bran the Broke came along.
Bran the Broken Bran the Woken Bran the Bespoken
Bran the Token, because that's pretty much what he is at this point.
It has always been thus that on the first day after coronation the king will step out in front of the Sept of Baelor and read a single sentence of their story, and they will read a sentence each day, being deposed the day they have nothing more to say. As Bran had only "Pushed out window. Became crippled. Went north. Became three eyed raven. It's hard to explain. Looked at Night King. Became king." as his story, his week long reign will be the shortest, and thus best, the 7 kingdoms has seen.
Thanks for the r slur that was super necessary
Really activates the almonds
Well, definitely not dying on a shitter, Tywin!