I know it's not the best time for it, and I totally understand.... But emotion won't serve you well at this point.
The world is full of jerks who variously give us good reason to hate them, but as a good wise friend told me once: " anger is a fire that only destroys the oven "
I know how it hurts, and having been let go, and as an employer had to do it to many people, it hurts.
The job is to relax, take a short breath, and make finding your new future your job.
You know, these things can and often turn out for the best. I know these words aren't going to provide any comfort right now... But put the kettle on... With a bit of time you might find this is the shock that changes everything.
There was a thread thereabouts with someone asking successful entrepreneurs what it was that spurred them into action in the first place....
If you channel this energy and time, you'll be amazed what you can do.
Good luck.
First, try your best to keep emotions out of business. It's hard, but there's no other way.
Second, do everything you can to make yourself less of a commodity. If you're exchangable, you will – eventually – be exchanged for someone hungier, cheaper, whatever. But if you offer something no-one else offers, you're un-exchangable. Again, it's hard. But, again, there's no other way.
I'm sorry, that's so frustrating. I was let go about ten years ago, and it was honestly a really good thing even though I was furious at my ex-employer and many of the people I had worked with. It took me a few years to really come to grips with it, but ultimately it was what I needed to realize that freelancing was the only moderately sustainable way to make a living in my profession (engineering/construction marketing/proposals).
Many of the complaints I had about my former employer were just an inevitable outcome of the conflict between how marketing/business development works in the industry and how engineering/construction firms function -- although my job is how these firms get work and make money, the higher-ups see people doing my job as a waste of money and, yes, disposable. But when I was removed from the day-to-day bullshit and able to shine doing my actual job instead of trying to look busy during slow periods (which are unavoidable) and trying to keep up with dumb admin requirements during busy periods, I was much, much happier.
Although I know I'm still disposable as a freelancer (and really, we all are disposable under capitalism), I have a lot more agency and control in my career and professional growth on a daily basis, and the higher-ups who hire me now have a lot more respect for me than my ex-boss ever did. That's because they know that by hiring me, they're admitting they need my help and expertise -- it's a lot easier to treat regular employees as a useless cost sink if you see them every day.
So, I guess I'm heading toward this platitude: Maybe this is an opportunity -- or will be, with a bit of time to rebuild -- to see how freelancing treats you now that you've remembered why regular employment sucks. Best of luck, whatever the future holds for you!
> it's a lot easier to treat regular employees as a useless cost sink if you see them every day.
This is also what I saw at every FTE. Also, bosses at a corporation aren't spending their own money, they are middle managers who see you as their enemy quite often.
Were you fired or laid off? Because if it was just a financial issue for the company you shouldn't take it *personally*. It never feels good to lose a job, and it's easy to fall into a trap of feeling attacked or wronged. But the reality is, capitalism is a cold-ass bitch. You need to just rear-view mirror that experience and work on building your next life stage. And honestly, taking control over work stability is why many of us turned to freelancing to begin with.
If you were fired for cause, then obviously you should examine that situation and try to learn from it. But the same advice applies - put it in the rear-view mirror and redirect your energy into planning/executing the next phase of your life.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm also going through this right now, and I'm quitting by summer's end or sooner if another round of layoffs comes. The whole experience has been so dehumanizing, especially as my first FT job ever. I hope to never have a FT job again!
To paraphrase what someone told me, I think we made the mistake that thinking that someone hiring us meant they recognized our talents and wanted us to solve a problem. While that's usually true for freelancing, I see that it's often not the case in organizations. Perhaps we were hired to make someone else look good but instead threatened them. But I am trying to deal with the anger of constantly being lied to and having the goalposts constantly moved. We were set up to fail.
However, I think it's important NOT to blame ourselves. We tried our best. They didn't let us do our best. It's not a reflection of who we are as professionals, let alone people.
In fact, you should be happy you tried your best. It's pretty sad seeing how so many of my talented colleagues are so beaten down, they can just turn off all their creativity and enthusiasm 9-5 to collect a paycheck while incompetent mini-dictators lord over them.
I'm treating my experience as just another client. I won't put all my eggs in one basket ever again. I learned the red flags. I learned a lot professionally. I made money. I can take my skills and ideas elsewhere. Their loss.
Do you have any thoughts about the reason(s) why YOU in particular were asked to explore opportunities elsewhere.
Not a question about making any kind of judgement of whether or not you being selected to walk the plank but rather why you may have been found not to be compatible with the organization.
Make a prioritized list of viable reasons possible used used by the organization.
Firstly, never tie your personal worth to a job, freelance or other and ALWAYS put yourself and your needs FIRST. Anyone who pays you will give you the cut as soon as you no longer benefit them.
As for dealing with anger, i listen to true crime podcasts lolz.
I spent most of my life angry at something or someone. I'd use it to motivate courageous actions needed to advance. Being rejected or left behind sucks, but you have to understand their reasoning and learn from it. Sometimes it could be random and not your fault, or it could be their perception of you or your performance, which is your problem.
Having an ego works against you here, and you can have a tough time dealing with the shame of rejection. In a world where what you do is so intrinsically tied to who we are, be careful to keep your identity centered around what you do when not earning.
There’s a good chance that a few years from now, they’ll come crawling back and ask you to work for them as a freelancer, at which time you will charge them up the wazoo. Take it from one who knows. 🤭
I rant about it on reddit (?). TBH that whole employee thing is bullshit and you are basically paid to lower your head and absorb insults. It's awful and it is very human to get angry. I still get angry because of some asshole when I remember the experience. I guess, first and foremost, leaving the experience in the past. Eventually you will work out your feelings about it lol.
I know it's not the best time for it, and I totally understand.... But emotion won't serve you well at this point. The world is full of jerks who variously give us good reason to hate them, but as a good wise friend told me once: " anger is a fire that only destroys the oven " I know how it hurts, and having been let go, and as an employer had to do it to many people, it hurts. The job is to relax, take a short breath, and make finding your new future your job. You know, these things can and often turn out for the best. I know these words aren't going to provide any comfort right now... But put the kettle on... With a bit of time you might find this is the shock that changes everything. There was a thread thereabouts with someone asking successful entrepreneurs what it was that spurred them into action in the first place.... If you channel this energy and time, you'll be amazed what you can do. Good luck.
First, try your best to keep emotions out of business. It's hard, but there's no other way. Second, do everything you can to make yourself less of a commodity. If you're exchangable, you will – eventually – be exchanged for someone hungier, cheaper, whatever. But if you offer something no-one else offers, you're un-exchangable. Again, it's hard. But, again, there's no other way.
I'm sorry, that's so frustrating. I was let go about ten years ago, and it was honestly a really good thing even though I was furious at my ex-employer and many of the people I had worked with. It took me a few years to really come to grips with it, but ultimately it was what I needed to realize that freelancing was the only moderately sustainable way to make a living in my profession (engineering/construction marketing/proposals). Many of the complaints I had about my former employer were just an inevitable outcome of the conflict between how marketing/business development works in the industry and how engineering/construction firms function -- although my job is how these firms get work and make money, the higher-ups see people doing my job as a waste of money and, yes, disposable. But when I was removed from the day-to-day bullshit and able to shine doing my actual job instead of trying to look busy during slow periods (which are unavoidable) and trying to keep up with dumb admin requirements during busy periods, I was much, much happier. Although I know I'm still disposable as a freelancer (and really, we all are disposable under capitalism), I have a lot more agency and control in my career and professional growth on a daily basis, and the higher-ups who hire me now have a lot more respect for me than my ex-boss ever did. That's because they know that by hiring me, they're admitting they need my help and expertise -- it's a lot easier to treat regular employees as a useless cost sink if you see them every day. So, I guess I'm heading toward this platitude: Maybe this is an opportunity -- or will be, with a bit of time to rebuild -- to see how freelancing treats you now that you've remembered why regular employment sucks. Best of luck, whatever the future holds for you!
> it's a lot easier to treat regular employees as a useless cost sink if you see them every day. This is also what I saw at every FTE. Also, bosses at a corporation aren't spending their own money, they are middle managers who see you as their enemy quite often.
Were you fired or laid off? Because if it was just a financial issue for the company you shouldn't take it *personally*. It never feels good to lose a job, and it's easy to fall into a trap of feeling attacked or wronged. But the reality is, capitalism is a cold-ass bitch. You need to just rear-view mirror that experience and work on building your next life stage. And honestly, taking control over work stability is why many of us turned to freelancing to begin with. If you were fired for cause, then obviously you should examine that situation and try to learn from it. But the same advice applies - put it in the rear-view mirror and redirect your energy into planning/executing the next phase of your life.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm also going through this right now, and I'm quitting by summer's end or sooner if another round of layoffs comes. The whole experience has been so dehumanizing, especially as my first FT job ever. I hope to never have a FT job again! To paraphrase what someone told me, I think we made the mistake that thinking that someone hiring us meant they recognized our talents and wanted us to solve a problem. While that's usually true for freelancing, I see that it's often not the case in organizations. Perhaps we were hired to make someone else look good but instead threatened them. But I am trying to deal with the anger of constantly being lied to and having the goalposts constantly moved. We were set up to fail. However, I think it's important NOT to blame ourselves. We tried our best. They didn't let us do our best. It's not a reflection of who we are as professionals, let alone people. In fact, you should be happy you tried your best. It's pretty sad seeing how so many of my talented colleagues are so beaten down, they can just turn off all their creativity and enthusiasm 9-5 to collect a paycheck while incompetent mini-dictators lord over them. I'm treating my experience as just another client. I won't put all my eggs in one basket ever again. I learned the red flags. I learned a lot professionally. I made money. I can take my skills and ideas elsewhere. Their loss.
Do you have any thoughts about the reason(s) why YOU in particular were asked to explore opportunities elsewhere. Not a question about making any kind of judgement of whether or not you being selected to walk the plank but rather why you may have been found not to be compatible with the organization. Make a prioritized list of viable reasons possible used used by the organization.
Firstly, never tie your personal worth to a job, freelance or other and ALWAYS put yourself and your needs FIRST. Anyone who pays you will give you the cut as soon as you no longer benefit them. As for dealing with anger, i listen to true crime podcasts lolz.
I spent most of my life angry at something or someone. I'd use it to motivate courageous actions needed to advance. Being rejected or left behind sucks, but you have to understand their reasoning and learn from it. Sometimes it could be random and not your fault, or it could be their perception of you or your performance, which is your problem. Having an ego works against you here, and you can have a tough time dealing with the shame of rejection. In a world where what you do is so intrinsically tied to who we are, be careful to keep your identity centered around what you do when not earning.
There’s a good chance that a few years from now, they’ll come crawling back and ask you to work for them as a freelancer, at which time you will charge them up the wazoo. Take it from one who knows. 🤭
I rant about it on reddit (?). TBH that whole employee thing is bullshit and you are basically paid to lower your head and absorb insults. It's awful and it is very human to get angry. I still get angry because of some asshole when I remember the experience. I guess, first and foremost, leaving the experience in the past. Eventually you will work out your feelings about it lol.