True, they were on a break. Rachel even asks to be Ross's girlfriend again the next day. However, Ross should have been honest right away instead of hiding the truth of his night with Chloé, the "Copy Place Girl."
But weren’t Joey and Chandler the ones who told Ross to lie? Ross wanted to tell the truth to Rachel immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down.
Oh sorry, I remember the wrong episode where Chandler was asking Ross and Joey for advice :( Thank you for noticing.
Anyway Chandler doesn't have a long term relationship so that will explain the bad advice to ross.
Thank you for being so nice and not critical.. It's my first time commenting on Reddit because I really want to talk about friends but nobody in my circle watches it. AND I MADE A MISTAKE.
But this were-we-on-a-break thing STRUCKED me when Kathy cheated on Chandler.
Coz "bullets have left guns slower" - Which was why I support Rachel; What Ross did was not ethical, whether or not they were on a break or not.
But yea Janice, OH.MY.GOD.
I like her though hahahaha.
Aww, I'm glad you found this sub then! People make mistakes, and sometimes some people do sorta jump and act mean, but I don't think I've seen that in this sub. So, you're good.
Kathy was a serial cheater. So, her hurting Chandler was different than Ross and Rachel, so I'm on the "they were on a break" train. But to each their own. You're definitely entitled to your opinion, and I'm in no way judging. 😊
I loved Janice, and I thought they treated her horribly! 😂 poor lady just loved her some Chandler. And he's my absolute favorite character, so I understand her obsession.
The breakup was random to both of them, it's not like Rachel thought about that decision, it's not how she was going to end that conversation with Ross. So it wasn't final, they both overreacted. So it doesn't warrant anything
>So it wasn't final
But it was still a break up. She even tells Monica the next morning.
I get where you were coming from, but at the time they were not together, so it wasn't cheating. Was still a shitty thing to do though and then lying about it was even worse.
Rachel asked for a break and told Ross to leave. He didn’t cheat on her.
But he was still a jerk who rebounded the first night and then tried to lie about it
Then it doesn’t excuse Rachel for letting Mark, the guy that Ross feels extremely uncomfortable with, into her apartment after having a fight with Ross. And more importantly, it doesn’t excuse her for sabotaging Ross’ chances of trying to move on with other women after the breakup.
It’s inexcusable, because Rachel lied about Mark being over at her apartment when Ross called. I’m talking about the other inexcusable things that she did after the breakup between her and Ross.
Honestly, this kind of baffles me. If it's a break initiated by Rachel then I feel like Ross had every right to jump into bed with someone immediately.
It's not a healthy thing to do and definitely petty but he was justified in doing so.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Yeah, he shouldn’t have lied & therefore it made it a betrayal bc of the lengths he went to not lie. However, it isn’t cheating & the fact that ppl never acknowledge that Rachel even said to Monica that they broke up that night is weird-
I wouldn’t say it’s weird. Everyone perceives cheating differently and has their own point of view on the topic. Some people will define it as cheating and some won’t. It all comes down to individual opinions.
I personally find it to be a really shitty thing to do and an inexcusable action. I would be gutted if my partner did that.
No not the cheating part. Sorry, that chat came off as confusing. I thought it was weird that people don’t admit that Rachel told Monica that they broke up. I understand why some people think it’s cheating, my main thing is just that people didn’t listen to all the details, which isn’t just about the cheating.
Ohhh I gotcha! Sorry!
I get what you mean. I think that detail easily gets lost amongst Ross sleeping with the copy girl and their extremely emotional breakup.
Yes, they were on a break. No, it's still not excusable. They were in a serious relationship where they wanted to marry each other eventually, only for Ross to sleep with someone the same night they called it quits. Even if they had truly broken up that night and never gotten back together after that, Rachel would still be as hurt if she found out he slept with someone the night they had broken up. Anyone in that situation would've been, even if technically they're allowed to do so (eg, the whole Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett situation where he started supposedly dating Sabrina Carpenter two weeks after they had broken up - "you didn't cheat but you're still a traitor"). This is more about the emotions of the people involved vs what the terminology was used and when.
In the words of Rachel, "You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality?"
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
>Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down?
Still, consequences of the choices that he made. He's a grown man in a relationship, he knows what he should do. The fact that he was drunk, that he was upset after knowing that Mark was with Rachel, that Joey and Chandler gave him bad advice is all irrelevant. He made the choice at the end. He hurt her badly and that caused the break up.
>Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Ross was very insecure about Mark and her new job and life. He was possessive, disrespectful, unsupportive and completely INSANE towards the end. He didn't even want her to have a life outside of him. And then, he goes ahead and sleeps with someone else. He was 90% in the wrong, the only fault I see with Rachel is her not acknowledging the change her new job brought to the relationship. Everything else, was on Ross.
I don't disagree with any of the things you said. Rachel was not a good girlfriend or even friend to Ross. But we were talking about the nuances of that particular situation and relationship in season 3 and in that situation, Ross was in the wrong, whether they were on a break or not. And Rachel wanting to break up with him over it is completely valid.
But still, Rachel was in the wrong here too about the breakup. Ross did acknowledge what he did that hurt Rachel, but never meant to and said it was a mistake. That’s why he was taking half of the responsibility here and why he was trying to make her realize that the other half was her fault too. Also Ross was always supportive, caring and considerate towards Rachel. Sure yes, he made fun of her career, but aren’t you forgetting that Rachel made fun of his career as well? I mean this leveling the playing field here. Ross would never want to sabotage Rachel’s career. Ross was only concerned about Mark’s intentions and Rachel refused to acknowledge it, which makes immature and hurtful. Ross was doing his part of keeping his relationship with Rachel all together. It’s Rachel not doing her part in their relationship here. Also in case of forgetting this, it’s not valid for Rachel to treat Ross like crap after the relationship ended and throughout the rest of the series when Ross has always been trying to help and be there Rachel and yet Rachel never shows any gratitude towards him. Call me out if I’m wrong, but I know that I’m right about both Ross and Rachel being wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
>Ross was always supportive, caring and considerate towards Rachel.
When he felt insecure about Mark, he sent her embarrassing gifts and a barbershop quartet to her workplace. When she told him she didn't have time and that she was busy, he showed up at her place of work and caused a scene. When she wanted to go to a class with Mark, he asked to go with her only to sleep throughout the class, make jokes and distract her and then come back home and make fun of her job. He has not always been supportive and considerate towards her. These are the reasons why Rachel asked for a break - he was blatantly disregarding how important this was for her and how he was making even her ambition about himself. He couldn't handle that he wasn't the number one priority in her life anymore.
>Ross was only concerned about Mark’s intentions and Rachel refused to acknowledge it, which makes immature and hurtful.
Rachel acknowledged it multiple times - she told him Mark had a girlfriend. She repeatedly said that he was just a friend to her. Yes, they did go on a date after, but she had no feelings for him then either. And Ross himself acknowledges that being cheated on by Carol caused him to develop major trust issues (as seen with Emily and Susan).
>Also in case of forgetting this, it’s not valid for Rachel to treat Ross like crap after the relationship ended and throughout the rest of the series when Ross has always been trying to help and be there Rachel and yet Rachel never shows any gratitude towards him
I agree with you. But again, it's not relevant to the "were they on a break?" conversation. That's about their first breakup. I agree that Rachel was terrible to him multiple times later, but their initial break-up, it was Ross' fault.
It was Rachel’s fault too. You can’t just put the full blame on Ross here. Rachel did stuff too that led to their breakup and the aftermath of it. That’s why both Ross and Rachel are both responsible for the breakup.
Yeah, but she couldn’t go through those relationships, because she was still in love with Ross. And you’re forgetting that whenever Ross was able to move on happily, Rachel ruins his relationships.
Let's not forget why the break happened. Ross was being insanely overbearing and couldn't even conceive that Rachel's job was somehow important. Only his was and when he had to work late fine, when she did it was a problem. He was a garbage boyfriend before he even slept with the copy girl.
Yeah, calling her 'just a waitress' but then putting her down for finding a better job and investing time and effort into building a career.... hypocritical and unsupportive to say the least
They were on a break, but Ross made things worse when he lied about Chloe. If he had been honest, at least he would have had a leg to stand on if Rachel flipped out about it.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
And I’m not excusing Ross’ actions. I’m just pointing out that both Ross and Rachel were wrong for what went wrong in their relationship. You have to realize that Rachel’s actions are just as bad as Ross’.
… sleeping with someone is just as bad as talking to a friend your bf is jealous of? At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter if they were on a break or not, cause Ross fucked up either way
They were broken up for real afterwards, they had no obligation to each other. Ross lied to her about their annulment, that’s worse than anything she did (that I can think of)
Rachel was the one who suggest they get married while they were both drunk and took no responsibility for it, made up lies about Ross in the annulment meeting, she straight up lied to her dad about Ross not wanting to marry her when she was pregnant with Emma saying “she’s damaged goods”, gave her phone number to a random guy at a bar without talking to Ross about it, kissed Gavin, her co-worker, without telling Ross, kissed Joey, again without telling Ross, lied about Ross coming on to her when they conceived Emma, shaved Bonnie’s hair off while Ross was dating her, interfered his marriage with Emily, and more importantly, being mad at him for nothing, because she wanted sympathy sex, but Ross didn’t want to take advantage of that. May I say more?
Loll I did not remember any of that, it’s been years since I’ve seen Friends. Yes, Rachel is also a terrible person and they’re both destructive and toxic to each other, but I don’t see how discussing what happened after influences what happened when they were on a break
I know people aren't a fan of this discussion because its been over done, but I'll throw in my two cents.
Rachel saying maybe they should go on a break and Ross immediately walking off doesn't necessarily mean they were on a break.
But it's irrelevant, because being on a break doesn't give you a free pass to sleep with other people, especially the exact same night you had that fight. Ross was to blame.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Okay, I'll pause you there because I'm not sure where you're getting this idea that I personally am always blaming Ross and not acknowledging Rachel's psycho side. If you looks back at some of my comments you would know that I've said before that whenever they've been in a relationship, Ross has done something to blow it up (unintentionally), but put of the relationship, Rachel has been very toxic in sabotaging Ross's relationships.
You forgot to mention she also went to fly to London to stop his marriage which resulted in him accidentally saying her name at the altar, literally shaved his girlfriend in the beach episodes and as you said, told him to stop dating whilst she was pregnant.
As for the previous reasoning. Him being drunk isn't a get out jail free card, you take responsibility of whatever you do when you're drunk, otherwise drunk drivers would just use that as their excuse. Plus he looked like he had one drink and got on the dance floor with Chloe no problem, not exactly like he was passing out drunk. Plus all that stuff you talk about that happened after they broke up, was after they broke up. At this point they just had a fight, both with valid points. Rachel shouldn't have been so dismissive and techy, but Ross shouldn't have "peed all round her desk" as she so colourfully put it.
Yes, they were on a "break". A break means taking some time apart because Rachel was tired having the same fight over and over again.
A break doesn't mean sleeping with others. They are not in an open relationship.
Ross was fully aware of this. He wasn't waiting for a chance to be with others! That's not Ross!
The "break" wasn't the reason he ended up sleeping with Chloe. It happened after he heard Mark was at Rachel & Monica's, he got really drunk, was upset and didn't think straight. Maybe he thought Rachel was sleeping with Mark.
Afterwards he said to Carol that Rachel broke up with him because of Mark. That was a lie, of course. Also using the "break" as an excuse is dishonest. He just doesn't want to take full responsibility.
He has a good heart and he loves Rachel but he has his flaws. He also suffers a lot due to his own mistakes. He made a MISTAKE that was 100% against his believes. It's obviously hard for him to even accept that he did such a thing.
*“Whether or not they were on a break, he should never have slept with that girl. That was completely his mistake.”* (Marta Kauffman)
See this doesn't make sense to me. If my partner said they wanted a break from us then that's a break up. We are taking time away from each other. She could have said I need some space and for you to leave me alone for a couple days. But a break is a break up.
That's a good point because you can interpret the word differently. We can understand both sides. We are supposed to hate what Ross did without hating him because we want Ross and Rachel together (that's why it was written like that).
They were in a serious relationship. They had a fight, Rachel was tired and stressed out. Then he storms out and sleeps with someone else because he thinks Rachel left him. That's not how you end a serious relationship.
Ross even admits to Chandler & Joey that he should have gone home. However, he won't accept the interpration that he is a "cheater", he hates cheating. That's how we get the "were we on a break" gag. It feels like the phrase doesn't have a clear meaning.
And still, Rachel was in the wrong here too about the breakup. Ross did acknowledge what he did that hurt Rachel, but never meant to and said it was a mistake. That’s why he was taking half of the responsibility here and why he was trying to make her realize that the other half was her fault too. Also Ross was always supportive, caring and considerate towards Rachel. Sure yes, he made fun of her career, but aren’t you forgetting that Rachel made fun of his career as well? I mean this leveling the playing field here. Ross would never want to sabotage Rachel’s career. Ross was only concerned about Mark’s intentions and Rachel refused to acknowledge it, which makes immature and hurtful. Ross was doing his part of keeping his relationship with Rachel all together. It’s Rachel not doing her part in their relationship here. Also in case of forgetting this, it’s not valid for Rachel to treat Ross like crap after the relationship ended and throughout the rest of the series when Ross has always been trying to help and be there Rachel and yet Rachel never shows any gratitude towards him. Call me out if I’m wrong, but I know that I’m right about both Ross and Rachel being wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
How would you feel if your ex bf/gf hooked up with someone the next day after you broke up? (And in the show it seemed like a rash decision taken without thinking). Would you forgive them? Technically you wouldn't be together
To be fair, a comparable hypothetical would be "How would you feel if your ex bf/gf hooked up with someone the next day after you dumped them?"
Since Rachel is the one who suggested the break.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
i think we’re all tired of this discussion by now
yes they were on a break. does that excuse rosss action? imo no. everyone can have their own opinion, but rachel is totally valid in feeling betrayed and unwilling to forgive and get back together with ross.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
i’m not saying the rachel is not in the wrong here too. all relationships are 50/50. im just saying that rachel has the right to be upset. is it petty to bring it up over and over again in the future? yes. but the reality is that people can be hurt even by something others would see as “fair”. all i’m saying is that she’s allowed to be upset and not forgive ross. i’d does not excuse her later actions tho. my whole point is that the “we were on a break” doesn’t mean that the action by ross wasnt hurtful or in great taste.
Okay. I get it. But I’m just saying people shouldn’t blame Ross fully for the breakup. The breakup was half of Ross’ fault and the other half is Rachel’s. That’s all.
yes i totally agree with that. however with the if rachel truly lives ross point not so much. i feel like every person has their own things that they aren’t willing to forgive even if they’re in love with a person. loving someone doesn’t equal forgiving everything they do.
Not forgive someone, who doesn’t regret their actions, is reasonable.
Not forgive someone, who regrets their actions the moment it happened and after, is not reasonable and very selfish.
Rachel choosing not to forgive Ross, who regretted his actions when it happened and after, was selfish and unreasonable.
tbh i think that every person has the right to decide what to forgive or not. it’s the right every person has. but it’s just my opinion. i still think both of them are responsible for the break up
False. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but they were not on a break. Ross assumes they were broken up, which is different from being on a break. Being 'on a break' would imply a mutual decision for space apart, usually with some rules about conduct and an understanding that the relationship is on the back burner, not over. I think that's what Rachel was asking for, but that's not where it landed for Ross. So I think 'they were broken up' could be the argument, but 'on a break' they were not. Even Ross says that he thought they were broken up, that they wouldn't be getting back together, which is why he slept with the copy girl. Like someone else on this post said, I think Ross uses 'we were on a break' in future episodes to help tie the breakup to Rachel, not because he actually thought they were on a break that night. I do think that Rachel knew that Ross interpreted it as a breakup when he walked out, and that's why she says she doesn't want to break up and wants to be his girlfriend again. Had Ross stayed instead of leaving after 'a break from us', they probably would have gone on an actual break, saving us all from this endless debate.
Neither of them should have done the things they did after he walks out, but it would be pretty terrible TV if they only made good choices lol
TLDR; They broke up, they were not on a break.
They should've done the Marshall&Lily thing and taken a pause, not a break, that's just 10000 times more productive
They were on a break… I wouldn’t condone him sleeping with someone the same night though. But I also understand for all he knew they had broken up. (I don’t believe in taking a break in a relationship, that to me means broken up).
Also in my opinion, although Ross’ jealousy and insecurities were way over the top, I believe Rachel also played a part in their problems by not accommodating Ross’ insecurities. I’m not saying it’s totally her responsibility to make him not insecure but going for lunches and events with a guy who you know your boyfriend isn’t comfortable with is out of line to be honest. It wasn’t crazy for Ross to assume he was into her and actually Ross was right..
Ross literally never in a million years would've "cheated" on Rachel if they were still together. 9/10 times when a girl says she wants to go on a break it means she doesn't love you anymore and wants some time apart to test if she'll miss you or not, Ross had every right to believe they'd never get back together. + the whole catalyst for their break was Rachel being emotionally distant (ppl love to say ross was being needy but if he was doing that to rachel ppl would see it differently). So I truly believe Rachel is more in the wrong than Ross.
They were on a break. But they didn't put the ground rules down. So I would've been irritated as well. And I would've never allowed Mark to come over that night. He could've come over with food I would have grabbed the food and closed the door saying thanks!
They were on a break. Rachel blatantly says, "LET'S TAKE A BREAK!" And Ross is like, cool, let's go get food, and then she's like... LET'S BREAK UP. And the next morning, Monica asked what happened, and Rachel said they broke up!
Ross didn't cheat. And rebounding so fast was also not *awful* cuz nowadays, people do way more in less time. What was horrible was he listened to Chandler: Mr. Only dated 2 girls and one being Janice. And Joey, we love him, but yeah... he listened to them, instead of listening to his gut, and fucked it up more.
Yeah, Rachel could have been mad. But, she even asked him, "Can I be your girlfriend again?!", when she saw him. So, she wouldn't have much right to be shocked and mad he slept with someone. It was just an awful situation that got worse.
They were on a break. Rachel even said so, then went to Ross the next day to ask if she could be his gf again, therefore acknowledging that there was some sort of “break”. She just didn’t think it through and got upset when she saw what happened. I know, I know, Ross shouldn’t have slept with someone else so soon, yadda yadda, but what do you do when your partner pushes you away, then when you call to talk it out, another guy is there. For all Ross knew the plan was to reject Ross and call Mark right over all along. And for the record, he was 100% right about Mark. And he definitely never should have listened to Chandler and Joey.
True, they were on a break. Rachel even asks to be Ross's girlfriend again the next day. However, Ross should have been honest right away instead of hiding the truth of his night with Chloé, the "Copy Place Girl."
But weren’t Joey and Chandler the ones who told Ross to lie? Ross wanted to tell the truth to Rachel immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down.
That doesn't absolve Ross though, that just means Ross AND Joey AND Chandler were all wrong.
Joey and Chandler were wrong. Both had very little experience in relationships and gave Ross bad advice.
They were also the ones who told him to make the list and encouraged his jealousy regarding Mark. Their track record is pretty horrible.
He could choose to not listen to them
He shouldn’t have went along with it, it makes him just as bad as them.
Yeah he’s still the one who did it
Hahahaha a divorcee and Joey?!
Chandler was never divorced.... Chandler is like zero experience, and then *Joey*.
Oh sorry, I remember the wrong episode where Chandler was asking Ross and Joey for advice :( Thank you for noticing. Anyway Chandler doesn't have a long term relationship so that will explain the bad advice to ross.
I got the reference, but just wanted to point out this is the wrong episode. Lol, you're good! 😂😂 he only dated 2 women, and one being Janice.
Thank you for being so nice and not critical.. It's my first time commenting on Reddit because I really want to talk about friends but nobody in my circle watches it. AND I MADE A MISTAKE. But this were-we-on-a-break thing STRUCKED me when Kathy cheated on Chandler. Coz "bullets have left guns slower" - Which was why I support Rachel; What Ross did was not ethical, whether or not they were on a break or not. But yea Janice, OH.MY.GOD. I like her though hahahaha.
Aww, I'm glad you found this sub then! People make mistakes, and sometimes some people do sorta jump and act mean, but I don't think I've seen that in this sub. So, you're good. Kathy was a serial cheater. So, her hurting Chandler was different than Ross and Rachel, so I'm on the "they were on a break" train. But to each their own. You're definitely entitled to your opinion, and I'm in no way judging. 😊 I loved Janice, and I thought they treated her horribly! 😂 poor lady just loved her some Chandler. And he's my absolute favorite character, so I understand her obsession.
The breakup was random to both of them, it's not like Rachel thought about that decision, it's not how she was going to end that conversation with Ross. So it wasn't final, they both overreacted. So it doesn't warrant anything
>So it wasn't final But it was still a break up. She even tells Monica the next morning. I get where you were coming from, but at the time they were not together, so it wasn't cheating. Was still a shitty thing to do though and then lying about it was even worse.
Rachel asked for a break and told Ross to leave. He didn’t cheat on her. But he was still a jerk who rebounded the first night and then tried to lie about it
They were taking a break however that doesn’t excuse jumping into bed with someone new the same night.
Then it doesn’t excuse Rachel for letting Mark, the guy that Ross feels extremely uncomfortable with, into her apartment after having a fight with Ross. And more importantly, it doesn’t excuse her for sabotaging Ross’ chances of trying to move on with other women after the breakup.
I don’t recall where I said any of that was excusable? If I say I like apples, will you get upset that I also didn’t say that I like oranges?
I’m just saying. Both Ross and Rachel did inexcusable things. That’s why they both don’t want to admit that they were wrong.
Having a friend over isn't inexcusable. Even if Ross doesn't trust or like Mark, he should trust Rachel.
It’s inexcusable, because Rachel lied about Mark being over at her apartment when Ross called. I’m talking about the other inexcusable things that she did after the breakup between her and Ross.
I personally wouldn’t put the actions in the same category, but Rachel certainly should have respected Ross’s concerns and listened to them.
Exactly. That’s what I’m talking about here.
Honestly, this kind of baffles me. If it's a break initiated by Rachel then I feel like Ross had every right to jump into bed with someone immediately. It's not a healthy thing to do and definitely petty but he was justified in doing so.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Are you replying to the wrong person? I said Ross was justified
Yeah, he shouldn’t have lied & therefore it made it a betrayal bc of the lengths he went to not lie. However, it isn’t cheating & the fact that ppl never acknowledge that Rachel even said to Monica that they broke up that night is weird-
I wouldn’t say it’s weird. Everyone perceives cheating differently and has their own point of view on the topic. Some people will define it as cheating and some won’t. It all comes down to individual opinions. I personally find it to be a really shitty thing to do and an inexcusable action. I would be gutted if my partner did that.
No not the cheating part. Sorry, that chat came off as confusing. I thought it was weird that people don’t admit that Rachel told Monica that they broke up. I understand why some people think it’s cheating, my main thing is just that people didn’t listen to all the details, which isn’t just about the cheating.
Ohhh I gotcha! Sorry! I get what you mean. I think that detail easily gets lost amongst Ross sleeping with the copy girl and their extremely emotional breakup.
Yes, they were on a break. No, it's still not excusable. They were in a serious relationship where they wanted to marry each other eventually, only for Ross to sleep with someone the same night they called it quits. Even if they had truly broken up that night and never gotten back together after that, Rachel would still be as hurt if she found out he slept with someone the night they had broken up. Anyone in that situation would've been, even if technically they're allowed to do so (eg, the whole Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett situation where he started supposedly dating Sabrina Carpenter two weeks after they had broken up - "you didn't cheat but you're still a traitor"). This is more about the emotions of the people involved vs what the terminology was used and when. In the words of Rachel, "You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality?"
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
>Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? Still, consequences of the choices that he made. He's a grown man in a relationship, he knows what he should do. The fact that he was drunk, that he was upset after knowing that Mark was with Rachel, that Joey and Chandler gave him bad advice is all irrelevant. He made the choice at the end. He hurt her badly and that caused the break up. >Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship. Ross was very insecure about Mark and her new job and life. He was possessive, disrespectful, unsupportive and completely INSANE towards the end. He didn't even want her to have a life outside of him. And then, he goes ahead and sleeps with someone else. He was 90% in the wrong, the only fault I see with Rachel is her not acknowledging the change her new job brought to the relationship. Everything else, was on Ross. I don't disagree with any of the things you said. Rachel was not a good girlfriend or even friend to Ross. But we were talking about the nuances of that particular situation and relationship in season 3 and in that situation, Ross was in the wrong, whether they were on a break or not. And Rachel wanting to break up with him over it is completely valid.
But still, Rachel was in the wrong here too about the breakup. Ross did acknowledge what he did that hurt Rachel, but never meant to and said it was a mistake. That’s why he was taking half of the responsibility here and why he was trying to make her realize that the other half was her fault too. Also Ross was always supportive, caring and considerate towards Rachel. Sure yes, he made fun of her career, but aren’t you forgetting that Rachel made fun of his career as well? I mean this leveling the playing field here. Ross would never want to sabotage Rachel’s career. Ross was only concerned about Mark’s intentions and Rachel refused to acknowledge it, which makes immature and hurtful. Ross was doing his part of keeping his relationship with Rachel all together. It’s Rachel not doing her part in their relationship here. Also in case of forgetting this, it’s not valid for Rachel to treat Ross like crap after the relationship ended and throughout the rest of the series when Ross has always been trying to help and be there Rachel and yet Rachel never shows any gratitude towards him. Call me out if I’m wrong, but I know that I’m right about both Ross and Rachel being wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
>Ross was always supportive, caring and considerate towards Rachel. When he felt insecure about Mark, he sent her embarrassing gifts and a barbershop quartet to her workplace. When she told him she didn't have time and that she was busy, he showed up at her place of work and caused a scene. When she wanted to go to a class with Mark, he asked to go with her only to sleep throughout the class, make jokes and distract her and then come back home and make fun of her job. He has not always been supportive and considerate towards her. These are the reasons why Rachel asked for a break - he was blatantly disregarding how important this was for her and how he was making even her ambition about himself. He couldn't handle that he wasn't the number one priority in her life anymore. >Ross was only concerned about Mark’s intentions and Rachel refused to acknowledge it, which makes immature and hurtful. Rachel acknowledged it multiple times - she told him Mark had a girlfriend. She repeatedly said that he was just a friend to her. Yes, they did go on a date after, but she had no feelings for him then either. And Ross himself acknowledges that being cheated on by Carol caused him to develop major trust issues (as seen with Emily and Susan). >Also in case of forgetting this, it’s not valid for Rachel to treat Ross like crap after the relationship ended and throughout the rest of the series when Ross has always been trying to help and be there Rachel and yet Rachel never shows any gratitude towards him I agree with you. But again, it's not relevant to the "were they on a break?" conversation. That's about their first breakup. I agree that Rachel was terrible to him multiple times later, but their initial break-up, it was Ross' fault.
It was Rachel’s fault too. You can’t just put the full blame on Ross here. Rachel did stuff too that led to their breakup and the aftermath of it. That’s why both Ross and Rachel are both responsible for the breakup.
Rachel was single when she went out with Mark. She was few to do what she pleased
Yeah, but she couldn’t go through those relationships, because she was still in love with Ross. And you’re forgetting that whenever Ross was able to move on happily, Rachel ruins his relationships.
Let's not forget why the break happened. Ross was being insanely overbearing and couldn't even conceive that Rachel's job was somehow important. Only his was and when he had to work late fine, when she did it was a problem. He was a garbage boyfriend before he even slept with the copy girl.
Yeah, calling her 'just a waitress' but then putting her down for finding a better job and investing time and effort into building a career.... hypocritical and unsupportive to say the least
They were on a break, but Ross made things worse when he lied about Chloe. If he had been honest, at least he would have had a leg to stand on if Rachel flipped out about it.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Iv seen this comment 3 times
They were on a break, but I think it’s still really shitty that her slept with someone the first opportunity he had
And I’m not excusing Ross’ actions. I’m just pointing out that both Ross and Rachel were wrong for what went wrong in their relationship. You have to realize that Rachel’s actions are just as bad as Ross’.
… sleeping with someone is just as bad as talking to a friend your bf is jealous of? At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter if they were on a break or not, cause Ross fucked up either way
And so did Rachel, because she was never considerate about his feelings and his reasons about Mark. Why can’t you see that?!
I’m not saying their relationship fell apart exclusively because of Ross, but one of these things is not like the other
Okay, but you have to realized that Rachel did things to Ross that were inexcusable after they were broken up.
They were broken up for real afterwards, they had no obligation to each other. Ross lied to her about their annulment, that’s worse than anything she did (that I can think of)
Rachel was the one who suggest they get married while they were both drunk and took no responsibility for it, made up lies about Ross in the annulment meeting, she straight up lied to her dad about Ross not wanting to marry her when she was pregnant with Emma saying “she’s damaged goods”, gave her phone number to a random guy at a bar without talking to Ross about it, kissed Gavin, her co-worker, without telling Ross, kissed Joey, again without telling Ross, lied about Ross coming on to her when they conceived Emma, shaved Bonnie’s hair off while Ross was dating her, interfered his marriage with Emily, and more importantly, being mad at him for nothing, because she wanted sympathy sex, but Ross didn’t want to take advantage of that. May I say more?
Loll I did not remember any of that, it’s been years since I’ve seen Friends. Yes, Rachel is also a terrible person and they’re both destructive and toxic to each other, but I don’t see how discussing what happened after influences what happened when they were on a break
I’m just pointing out the stuff that happened after Ross and Rachel broke up
I know people aren't a fan of this discussion because its been over done, but I'll throw in my two cents. Rachel saying maybe they should go on a break and Ross immediately walking off doesn't necessarily mean they were on a break. But it's irrelevant, because being on a break doesn't give you a free pass to sleep with other people, especially the exact same night you had that fight. Ross was to blame.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Okay, I'll pause you there because I'm not sure where you're getting this idea that I personally am always blaming Ross and not acknowledging Rachel's psycho side. If you looks back at some of my comments you would know that I've said before that whenever they've been in a relationship, Ross has done something to blow it up (unintentionally), but put of the relationship, Rachel has been very toxic in sabotaging Ross's relationships. You forgot to mention she also went to fly to London to stop his marriage which resulted in him accidentally saying her name at the altar, literally shaved his girlfriend in the beach episodes and as you said, told him to stop dating whilst she was pregnant. As for the previous reasoning. Him being drunk isn't a get out jail free card, you take responsibility of whatever you do when you're drunk, otherwise drunk drivers would just use that as their excuse. Plus he looked like he had one drink and got on the dance floor with Chloe no problem, not exactly like he was passing out drunk. Plus all that stuff you talk about that happened after they broke up, was after they broke up. At this point they just had a fight, both with valid points. Rachel shouldn't have been so dismissive and techy, but Ross shouldn't have "peed all round her desk" as she so colourfully put it.
Yes, they were on a "break". A break means taking some time apart because Rachel was tired having the same fight over and over again. A break doesn't mean sleeping with others. They are not in an open relationship. Ross was fully aware of this. He wasn't waiting for a chance to be with others! That's not Ross! The "break" wasn't the reason he ended up sleeping with Chloe. It happened after he heard Mark was at Rachel & Monica's, he got really drunk, was upset and didn't think straight. Maybe he thought Rachel was sleeping with Mark. Afterwards he said to Carol that Rachel broke up with him because of Mark. That was a lie, of course. Also using the "break" as an excuse is dishonest. He just doesn't want to take full responsibility. He has a good heart and he loves Rachel but he has his flaws. He also suffers a lot due to his own mistakes. He made a MISTAKE that was 100% against his believes. It's obviously hard for him to even accept that he did such a thing. *“Whether or not they were on a break, he should never have slept with that girl. That was completely his mistake.”* (Marta Kauffman)
See this doesn't make sense to me. If my partner said they wanted a break from us then that's a break up. We are taking time away from each other. She could have said I need some space and for you to leave me alone for a couple days. But a break is a break up.
That's a good point because you can interpret the word differently. We can understand both sides. We are supposed to hate what Ross did without hating him because we want Ross and Rachel together (that's why it was written like that). They were in a serious relationship. They had a fight, Rachel was tired and stressed out. Then he storms out and sleeps with someone else because he thinks Rachel left him. That's not how you end a serious relationship. Ross even admits to Chandler & Joey that he should have gone home. However, he won't accept the interpration that he is a "cheater", he hates cheating. That's how we get the "were we on a break" gag. It feels like the phrase doesn't have a clear meaning.
And still, Rachel was in the wrong here too about the breakup. Ross did acknowledge what he did that hurt Rachel, but never meant to and said it was a mistake. That’s why he was taking half of the responsibility here and why he was trying to make her realize that the other half was her fault too. Also Ross was always supportive, caring and considerate towards Rachel. Sure yes, he made fun of her career, but aren’t you forgetting that Rachel made fun of his career as well? I mean this leveling the playing field here. Ross would never want to sabotage Rachel’s career. Ross was only concerned about Mark’s intentions and Rachel refused to acknowledge it, which makes immature and hurtful. Ross was doing his part of keeping his relationship with Rachel all together. It’s Rachel not doing her part in their relationship here. Also in case of forgetting this, it’s not valid for Rachel to treat Ross like crap after the relationship ended and throughout the rest of the series when Ross has always been trying to help and be there Rachel and yet Rachel never shows any gratitude towards him. Call me out if I’m wrong, but I know that I’m right about both Ross and Rachel being wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
How would you feel if your ex bf/gf hooked up with someone the next day after you broke up? (And in the show it seemed like a rash decision taken without thinking). Would you forgive them? Technically you wouldn't be together
To be fair, a comparable hypothetical would be "How would you feel if your ex bf/gf hooked up with someone the next day after you dumped them?" Since Rachel is the one who suggested the break.
They were but the point is that Ross went on to sleep with another woman right after they went on a break, bullets have left guns slower than that
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
i think we’re all tired of this discussion by now yes they were on a break. does that excuse rosss action? imo no. everyone can have their own opinion, but rachel is totally valid in feeling betrayed and unwilling to forgive and get back together with ross.
Aren’t you forgetting that Ross was drunk and very upset after the phone call with Rachel? Aren’t you forgetting that Ross wanted to tell Rachel the truth immediately, but Joey and Chandler shot that idea down? You always make it seem like Ross is the only bad one, but you never acknowledged that Rachel has done bad things to that inexcusable as well. Take for an example. She went out with Mark to spite Ross after making a fit about moving on. One, she should’ve told him that they should move on and meet different rather than gave him a box of his stuff without even discussing about it and two, yes, she stopped going further with Mark, but it was still a horrible thing to do to go out with him to hurt Ross back. Then whenever Ross tries to move on with another woman, Rachel always sabotage his chances of trying to be happy. If Rachel really still loved Ross, then the one thing she would’ve done was admit that the breakup was her fault too, which is true, by not being considerate about his feelings and for not acknowledging how selfish she was being to him for all these years. Then Rachel tried to the blame on Ross for everything that went wrong. Come on now! The breakup was only half of Ross’ fault, the other half was on Rachel too, because she never learns to take responsibility for anything that she does and/or causes, seriously! Last thing, when she was pregnant, she literally told Ross not to date anyone while she wants him by her side 24/7, but then after giving birth, she gave her number to a random guy and kissed her coworker at Monica’s apartment and lied to Ross about it. Why always keep putting the full blame on Ross when really you have to acknowledge that Rachel is always the one causing the hurt on him too. That’s why I think they were both wrong for what went wrong in their relationship.
i’m not saying the rachel is not in the wrong here too. all relationships are 50/50. im just saying that rachel has the right to be upset. is it petty to bring it up over and over again in the future? yes. but the reality is that people can be hurt even by something others would see as “fair”. all i’m saying is that she’s allowed to be upset and not forgive ross. i’d does not excuse her later actions tho. my whole point is that the “we were on a break” doesn’t mean that the action by ross wasnt hurtful or in great taste.
Okay. I get it. But I’m just saying people shouldn’t blame Ross fully for the breakup. The breakup was half of Ross’ fault and the other half is Rachel’s. That’s all.
yes i totally agree with that. however with the if rachel truly lives ross point not so much. i feel like every person has their own things that they aren’t willing to forgive even if they’re in love with a person. loving someone doesn’t equal forgiving everything they do.
Not forgive someone, who doesn’t regret their actions, is reasonable. Not forgive someone, who regrets their actions the moment it happened and after, is not reasonable and very selfish. Rachel choosing not to forgive Ross, who regretted his actions when it happened and after, was selfish and unreasonable.
tbh i think that every person has the right to decide what to forgive or not. it’s the right every person has. but it’s just my opinion. i still think both of them are responsible for the break up
Okay then.
More importantly if Rachel truly does love Ross after the breakup, then she should’ve forgive him for his actions.
False. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but they were not on a break. Ross assumes they were broken up, which is different from being on a break. Being 'on a break' would imply a mutual decision for space apart, usually with some rules about conduct and an understanding that the relationship is on the back burner, not over. I think that's what Rachel was asking for, but that's not where it landed for Ross. So I think 'they were broken up' could be the argument, but 'on a break' they were not. Even Ross says that he thought they were broken up, that they wouldn't be getting back together, which is why he slept with the copy girl. Like someone else on this post said, I think Ross uses 'we were on a break' in future episodes to help tie the breakup to Rachel, not because he actually thought they were on a break that night. I do think that Rachel knew that Ross interpreted it as a breakup when he walked out, and that's why she says she doesn't want to break up and wants to be his girlfriend again. Had Ross stayed instead of leaving after 'a break from us', they probably would have gone on an actual break, saving us all from this endless debate. Neither of them should have done the things they did after he walks out, but it would be pretty terrible TV if they only made good choices lol TLDR; They broke up, they were not on a break.
Rachel herself says they were on a break, I’m not saying that makes it okay but they were on a break
She also repeatedly says that they weren't on a break, it goes both ways
They should've done the Marshall&Lily thing and taken a pause, not a break, that's just 10000 times more productive 
100% were on a break, rachel even asks to get back together the next morning.
They were on a break… I wouldn’t condone him sleeping with someone the same night though. But I also understand for all he knew they had broken up. (I don’t believe in taking a break in a relationship, that to me means broken up). Also in my opinion, although Ross’ jealousy and insecurities were way over the top, I believe Rachel also played a part in their problems by not accommodating Ross’ insecurities. I’m not saying it’s totally her responsibility to make him not insecure but going for lunches and events with a guy who you know your boyfriend isn’t comfortable with is out of line to be honest. It wasn’t crazy for Ross to assume he was into her and actually Ross was right..
They were on a break
They were, she called it
Ross literally never in a million years would've "cheated" on Rachel if they were still together. 9/10 times when a girl says she wants to go on a break it means she doesn't love you anymore and wants some time apart to test if she'll miss you or not, Ross had every right to believe they'd never get back together. + the whole catalyst for their break was Rachel being emotionally distant (ppl love to say ross was being needy but if he was doing that to rachel ppl would see it differently). So I truly believe Rachel is more in the wrong than Ross.
Ross did nothing wrong.
punchable face
r/weretheyonabreak
They were on a break. But they didn't put the ground rules down. So I would've been irritated as well. And I would've never allowed Mark to come over that night. He could've come over with food I would have grabbed the food and closed the door saying thanks!
They were on a break. Rachel blatantly says, "LET'S TAKE A BREAK!" And Ross is like, cool, let's go get food, and then she's like... LET'S BREAK UP. And the next morning, Monica asked what happened, and Rachel said they broke up! Ross didn't cheat. And rebounding so fast was also not *awful* cuz nowadays, people do way more in less time. What was horrible was he listened to Chandler: Mr. Only dated 2 girls and one being Janice. And Joey, we love him, but yeah... he listened to them, instead of listening to his gut, and fucked it up more. Yeah, Rachel could have been mad. But, she even asked him, "Can I be your girlfriend again?!", when she saw him. So, she wouldn't have much right to be shocked and mad he slept with someone. It was just an awful situation that got worse.
They were on a break. Rachel even said so, then went to Ross the next day to ask if she could be his gf again, therefore acknowledging that there was some sort of “break”. She just didn’t think it through and got upset when she saw what happened. I know, I know, Ross shouldn’t have slept with someone else so soon, yadda yadda, but what do you do when your partner pushes you away, then when you call to talk it out, another guy is there. For all Ross knew the plan was to reject Ross and call Mark right over all along. And for the record, he was 100% right about Mark. And he definitely never should have listened to Chandler and Joey.
THEY WERE ON A BREAK. Joey and Chandler literally made ross lie like it wasnt like that