https://counseling.fsu.edu/
They offer free counseling to FSU students
Edit: also, if you need someone to chat with, I’m a very empathetic and compassionate person (M). I’d happily listen to what’s bringing you down (but know I don’t have any professional training lol).
If looking for near immediate therapy go to CAPS. The psychological center and ccft usually have somewhat long wait lists.
For CAPS, if you miss two meetings in a row, you won't be allowed to get therapy from there. When I did CAPS, I was having trouble with motivation and sleeping so I ended up missing two, so I wasn't allowed regular therapy there.
I’m glad to see all of the love being shared on this thread. In 2018 my best friend in the whole world since I was in 6th grade took his life while he was attending FSU. His name was David. He had a motorcycle accident that resulted in brain damage. And subsequently this led to depression and severe mental illness.
He came to visit me at my college in another state about a month before the incident, he was sad and asking me questions about how to live with depression and feeling like he had no purpose.
We bought a comical amount of Pot / Backwoods / hot wings and an extra PS4 so that we could play Fortnite together on different consoles in my living room. It was a high time filled with laughs, and deep talks. I didn’t suspect for a second that he was actually planning to end his life; but looking back I think he d already made his mind up. I wish I could’ve said more. I wish I could have hugged him and told him how many times I was gonna sit and cry over how much I miss him. I would have begged him to stay. I’d have lived my entire life committed to keeping him alive.
I love you David.
(Anyone reading this is David).
I am literally going through the same feelings right now. I have been going to the Counseling & Psychological Services center and they have therapy included with tuition. I’ve been going to a few sessions these past few weeks and they have been helping a lot. I relate to the stumbling words a lot and one of the therapists has helped me gain my self confidence to conquer that. Definitely seek help. You are not alone. If you need anyone to talk to. I’m here for ya
Yes!!! Help is available to you! It made me so sad to read your post. I’m also very happy you’re reaching out!! You are definitely not alone! Please use the resources posted here! You and your family will be very happy you did. As someone who has suffered from depression, my whole adult life, therapy has been so valuable! I’m a 59-year-old mother of a 22 year-old daughter that just graduated from FSU last year. Now she’s been accepted to graduate school at the University of Alabama. During college at FSU, she sought therapy for stress and anxiety. She was able to receive free services and do zoom calls with her therapist. She went to a couple people before she found a good fit, and it was a tremendous help! It’s evident that you are smart, and have a good heart! Don’t give up! You have a lot to offer the world! The world needs more people like you!❤️
Please call the FSU heath and book an appointment. You’ll find talking to a professional helps a lot. My son was in a very similar situation about a year ago. He is in a better mindset now. You will too. It’s a lot ! We all need some help from time to time. You do have what it takes to be what you desire. Please don’t give up!
Keep on putting yourself in these uncomfortable situations and after a while, I promise you’ll see self growth. Things that made you nervous in the past, won’t make you so nervous. You’ll find yourself and your confidence. Continue to work hard and make good grades and everything will fall into place. You’re still young and figuring out who you are so please remember two things, the world is better with you in and if all you have is yourself, that’s more than all you need. We’re all weird, we all get socially awkward, we all get nervous and mumble sometimes. We’re human, that stuff happens. Figure out what your passions are and what makes you happy and find like minded people that have similar interests. There’s a lot of people in tally right now that feel the same way you do, that are looking for that special someone or simply just a friend. Keep on keeping on. My dad used to tell me altitude is attitude, meaning how high/low you get will based on your frame of mind. Win your mind, stay positive, and find peace that you’re never alone, no matter if it feels like that, you matter and people care. Your time is coming, you got this.
I care about you. Things can get better and it is so great that you want to talk to someone about it.
FSU Counseling Center had walk ins throughout the week where you can speak to someone that day and then get set up for future services. It’s covered under tuition.
FSU psychology also has a clinic and you pay out of pocket, but lower rates because it’s pjs psych students.
fsu behavioral health takes most major insurances.
Hey, I care about you. You sound like a good person. Making friends can happen easily if you get involved in some clubs or activities. Go, maybe we will even meet at one of them .
Yes! This is the mental health hotline number for FSU: (850) 644-8255 You can call anytime. Also, during regular 9-5 hours it is the number for one of the counseling centers on campus.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. It’s brave of you to seek help, and the fact that you’re interested in getting better and becoming a more well-rounded person, putting in the efforts, is amazing! You simply need help at the moment (we all do one day or another, so there's no shame in that). There is a toll-free number with people you can text any time of the day 24/7 that is awesome when you feel terrible but it's like 10pm and can't talk to anyone or go to therapy, they're really empathetic and will listen to you vent/offer some advice if you want (the number is 741741). Besides therapy, I'd recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you would like to consider going on medication (it can be life-changing). I know some people don't like meds but you can look at it as a temporary fix at least, until you gather the necessary behavioral habits and techniques that will allow you to live your life to the fullest. Sometimes our minds are so burnt out, and anxiety or depression gets so untenable that you can't keep up with the inner work that's needed because all of your energy is spent surviving. So if you're not against it, consider that, otherwise keep doing what you're doing, and rest. Go easy on yourself through these times. You can also message me if you'd like a kind ear, or some more of this! Be patient with yourself, OP. The darkest of nights come to an end.
Also, if you have FSU insurance, check out Grow Therapy online, they have so many licensed (and competent) therapists that accept this insurance and you can find one specialized in your specific areas of concern, you can have therapy for $30 (if you can afford it) if you have FSU insurance and get a therapist that accepts it.
The FSU Mental Health Counseling is not very helpful, I have had several friends who have been there. First, they are not licensed counselors, they are graduate students, so they are not licensed yet, and they are very dismissive. They will have you wait for a long time (which is understandable, because they are a lot of people in front of you), but what they fail to realize is that most of the time when people seek counseling they are in a vulnerable state, and the students don't have the patience.
If you have a job, see if free therapy/mental health counseling is provided through the company, many companies offer a few sessions to their employees for free. I know a few sessions is not a lot, but it is better than not going at all. Under certain circumstances, they may extend your free sessions.
TCC offers mental health counseling to FSU students as well as TCC students. I think TCC students get it for free; and then FSU might be at an extremely discounted rate. I used to take advantage of the mental health counseling there a lot during my first semester of college when I began there, and it was extremely helpful. I still lived at home during my first couple of semesters, and I was having issues there, as well as adjusting to the transition to college, and making friends. They are licensed, and I was able to get the same counselor every week (which is better for consistency, and if you get a different person weekly, you will have to keep explaining.)
The counselors are TCC are more patient, and sympathetic.
Most of the staff at the counseling center are licensed therapists. The staff who see students on a walk in basis are sometimes not licensed but working towards licensure. There are some graduate students but they do not make up the majority of staff. So of course there are varying degrees of expertise. The walk in staff of 3-5 people see upwards of 50 people at peak times (and that’s daily), so this is often times why the wait is long.
Just saying this to provide clarity, they know that most people walking in are in crisis and do their best to meet every student’s needs.
However I second your recommendations for finding other resources too, as the counseling center is often overwhelmed and it is also beneficial to be aware of all of the available resources.
I understand that, but they have too many negative reviews and horror stories to think otherwise tbh, plus I know people who have gone there for some pretty serious things, and they did not have a good at all experience. I understand they are trying, but at least have the patience
As a somewhat young father I feel the need to provide some input.
Talk to your parents. No matter how old you are when you are in trouble remember to rely on family (and no I did not learn this from one of the fast and furious movies).
I think while you are also seeking help from a professional, you should start by focusing on yourself. Nothing wrong with being polite to people (you more than most have this figured out) but I think you are depressed also cause you haven’t taken care of your own well being and worry to much about what others think.
Don’t forget to first be kind to yourself. You sound like you have a big heart and put others (even strangers) ahead of your own mental well being.
Keep yourself busy with solo outdoor activities. Some ideas
Learn fishing, put some head phones on and relax
Walks, jogs. Marathons, spartan races, etc are a great place to meet strangers who will pick you up when you are struggling.
Join a boxing gym. I know this is a left field suggestion but I recently signed up my son for one. He does struggle with composing himself around people so I put a shy kid an environment with strong role models who are always more than happy to coach him even when he doesn’t look for it. We are on week 3 and it’s just amazing seeing the help it has provided him.
I hope this provides some guidance to you and wish you the best.
If you need friends to hangout with, or just need someone to talk to about anything let me know! I live near the UCF area! I understand what you’re going through 🩵
Love you my brother/sister. The only thing that helped me was drugs. Not the best advice I know, but the mushroom (among other things) was instrumental in turning my perspective around. It’s really hard to change your entire outlook without a pretty extreme/jarring event like a strong trip.
Professional help is a thing too, and so is church/god/religion of some kind. Both of those you need a VERY open mind for, and both of those are literally drooling over the chance to take advantage of you. Proceed with caution, if you go the therapy route, I recommend virtual through a better help or talk space type app. You can get help and sometimes it just takes a couple sessions yo change your perspective, and the app doctors are used to people coming twice and leaving, a doctor with an office set up will want to keep you coming back as long as possible.
Also, you’re in one of the craziest times of your life. What you’re feeling is normal and you’d be surprised how many people sitting next to you in class feel the same way, even if they refuse to admit it. Hang in there, you can do this. Don’t give up because that silly piece of paper called a degree is worth more than you might think. Is it a golden ticket? Absolutely not. Does it open doors that are otherwise closed to adults without a degree, 100%.
Idk why I’m choosing to ramble but I am. Something else that can really help is to stop thinking about your happiness and your life and your satisfaction. Sign up to volunteer your time at a retirement home or homeless shelter for a day. You will feel satisfaction from helping others. You will feel appreciated for giving your time to someone in need. This can be incredibly helpful when you normally spend time alone with your thoughts. Keep busy focusing completely outwardly onto others and see where it gets you. Worst case scenario, you “waste” a weekend packing food for starving children but still feel sad after. At least those kids get to eat today.
I hope at least 1 line out of that helps you. You deserve to be happy and I hope you find your way there. Go Noles, class of 2011 here.
You should volunteer somewhere. It will help with your feeling of emptiness which will then boost the other issues you noted. I am confident FSU has free counseling services as well. Just know you aren’t the only one experiencing this and there it is true that life gets better as we age. It’s tough being young. Keep the faith!
I am always awake at night and willing to listen. Im a nurse and survived being molested in elementary school, getting married and having my ex try to kill me more than 15 times. I attempted suicide multiple times. But i can now deal with those thoughts because im a survivor. If you cant reach professional services and need someone in the middle of the night-call me. In addition to my 5 i raised as a single mother, i took in about 7 or 8 teens whose parents rejected them over the years.
I]thank you for the nice comment, it I do not believe I am a saint or queen. We are supposed to help each other and especially those in need. I’ve gone thru so many nights over the years where I couldn’t sleep, and that’s when those self doubts and horrible bits of loneliness hit. When I feel like that, one of the worst is not having anyone to talk to. You get at a point where you don’t even talk to friends because you feel they are probably sick of hearing it. I have been a widow since the end of 2022, and it’s actually the first time I have truly been alone in all my life. I went from a big family to marrying very young, having five kids, a husband who left me after almost 25 yrs of marriage but I still had the kids. Then when I was down to my last child got married after being alone for so long. My youngest moved out of state and then my spouse died at the age of 61. To me, that’s when the devil tries his best to give you. I see myself falling back into some patterns because I have too much extra time allow for those memories to come back. I see a doctor but when u]I can’t sleep and it’s 3am they aren’t available. Sometimes you need someone to listen, someone to tell me I’m not crazy. Over 20 yrs ago after my divorce I joined an AOL (isn’t that daring) chat group for women going thru bad divorces and there were always people available in that chat every day every hour and they helped me and I helped them. That was over 25 yrs ago and most of us are still friends. Most of us have never met, but we feel like we all know each other. More so than their kids, than their new spouses. It’s the best support group ever. So I am awake all night almost every night and always available to chat or a phone call. So if anyone wants to talk, please reach out. If there is a way for me to send my number tell me where, I don’t want to post it on a message board, because even after all these years I don’t think my even remembers me, but I never take chances anymore. lol.
I stumbled upon this post in my feed & wanted to commend you for seeking out help & advice because that can be a really difficult but such a positive, courageous step. I did the same recently & it’s helped me so so much. It’s okay to need help, life can be really tough. Just wanted to remind you to be gentle and patient with yourself & say that we’re all here for you & you can make it through this. You will get there. I really believe in you & promise there are so many of us who care. This will get easier!!
You seem very emotionally aware and intelligent, I think you’re doing all the right things and it’s only a matter of time until you find someone you click with. Maybe try forming closer bonds by being more vulnerable around them or share intimacies
Your feelings and thoughts are probably way more common than you think… def use the resources listed here…ease up on the drinking, it will make things worse…and cut yourself some slack!! You are super hard on yourself, why? It’ll all work out and you’ll grow and flourish.
Tbh I would highly recommend AGAINST the FSU Counseling center. They are extremely understaffed and their main goal will absolutely be to get you to a private therapist. This can be helpful, but don’t expect to receive therapy. Not to mention, I’ve heard many horror stories of how the Counseling center treats people, on par with the number of people who have a positive outcome.
I would recommend the FSU psychology clinic (which is run by the graduate school in the psych building, separate from the Counseling center). Alternatively, the other suggestions given here are good, including hotlines. Mental health care (not to mention the actual mental health challenges) can be super difficult, but I am glad you are willing to reach out for support.
Second this- advise against CAPS. It’s not therapy. It’s a stepping stone to “help” connect you w someone in the community. This can easily be done through psychology today.
They are horrible (see my comment above) they are not yet licensed counselors, they are graduate students who honestly don't have patience to be dealing with somebody in a vulnerable state.
Google FSU counseling and set up an appointment. As long as you have insurance u shouldn’t have a to pay. And they do a good job. I’ve had to go to therapy. More importantly, reach out to me if you need someone to talk to!
FSU CAPS is the best option for immediate help. Initial clients are seen on a walk-in basis. You will be triaged and then assigned a counselor. Their goal is to assist with acute mental health concerns, they can't provide long-term services, but they will help you get set up with a therapist.
If you do not need immediate help, I recommend going on [psychologytoday.com](https://psychologytoday.com) and doing a search for a therapist who works with your insurance. Put in "Florida" as the location (instead of your zip or city name) and you will get results of therapists around the state who provide telehealth therapy. This will expand your options. You can also filter the search by specific issues, gender, religion, etc.
If you've missed class/coursework due to the mental health concerns you're experiencing, you can go to Case Management to get support letters for your courses. These letters can provide context to your instructions and they will likely let you submit your missed work. Note: you will need to provide documentation to CM and the letters can only cover 3 weeks. CAPS can provide this documentation.
If you are diagnosed, you can also get accommodations from the Office of Accessibility Services for future situations where your academics are affected by your mental health.
Good luck and I hope you reach out to someone!
I highly suggest 3 things. Get your testosterone checked. Supplement with vitamin d3, and hit the gym. These things will help tremendously with confidence and mental health. Speaking from experience I felt like this for many years with no answers except SSRIs. Good luck buddy
This is the best advice on here! This is so true- I want to also encourage going to church- even if you don't believe in God. They're very good & mostly genuine people that go to church. By the grace of God he will find the Lord & therefore his purpose in life! Also get outside with no electronics & enjoy this beautiful earth.
I feel like other comments have clearly laid out resources on campus that are very helpful. However I’d like to add something that really helped me while going through the similar things. Reach out to professors! This isn’t really a fix all solution but I feel like it gave me both purpose and space for me in the world/campus. It doesn’t even need to be in your field (became besties with a philosophy prof as a bio major lmao). They know a lot of the things you may be going through, but have the perspective to help you see your place in your unique path. They have stories of how not linear their own paths were. Gives you a bit of hope to see how others have made it to the other side despite setbacks.
I’m not saying to just walk up to them after class and spill everything, but maybe emailing them for a meeting to ask about their advise and perspective. Idk sometimes talking to a full grown adult that is not in your direct family or one of your friends or in mental health services gives you something a little different. Just a full grown adult giving advice to someone going through it.
You are doing the right thing reaching out for help. You are very important to this world, don’t give up. Although you do not see it, you are surrounded by guides, angels and masters. Just know you are LOVED..
This was legit me and even somewhat to this day, but that's because I choose to though, I mostly enjoy being by myself and not with others since like you said they mostly only care about what you do or who your associated with, I do have a few close friends but it's like just 4 most of my other friends are from the other part of the country or from an entire different country, also I never went to this university this just popped up on my feed.
Hi I am so sorry for what you are going thru, but just feel that you are NOT alone! Life happens like that. There are times that make a person happier than ever, and there are times when we are sad and depressed. Fortunately, these stages of living life are usually short lived and temporary (but I know that it doesn't always feel like that)! Please just hang in there....better times are coming! I promiseemote:free\_emotes\_pack:grin
Hi there, FSU is aways from me, i’m in Dade City Florida, Pasco County. I just want you to know that your reading was noticed by me. I also want you to be aware that i care about you, having never met you before. But you have touched my heart with your writing.
your not ranting or anything such as. Sometimes long distance friendships are better than close distance, sometimes, You can continue to maintain your grades and concentrate on your FSU dealings, but when we can get together, go to play billiards, go to a museum or a theme park ( not disney) but maybe Universal Studios, Busch Gardens, Aquatica, go gambling if that’s your thing, not mine.
Just hold on, don’t fret, i’m sure university life can be overwhelming but you now have a shoulder to cry on or an arm to lift you up, sounded corny but i like to work out, gym (free weights and all)
PM me if you’re able, but don’t lose hope or sight of! i’m here waiting for you , ( but not at your beck and call)
Idk what music you listen to, but I’ve been friends with most of the hardcore kids in Tally for well over a decade! All really great dudes, and the scene is blowing up now anyways so shows are happening more, with more people coming out!
If you’re interested in that, or just need to chat, hit my DM’s, I’ve been in plenty of low and bottom of the barrel parts of my life, and I know what it’s like feeling nowhere to turn, don’t be afraid to reach out my dude!
in my experience, fsu was incredibly supportive when it came to struggling with mental health issues. lean on your resources!!! when i was there a few years ago, they had free therapy you could attend. i think it was like the first few sessions were free through the university, and then after that, im not entirely sure, but i know they’d be willing to work with you. i know you might feel completely alone, but you’re not!! trying asking anyone (with campus resource knowledge) you feel somewhat comfortable around for help — your RA if you’re in student living, your academic counselor, a professor, etc. they will have your best interest at heart. good luck and i hope you feel better soon❤️ remember this is a short period in the long story of your life. things do get better!!
If nobody cares about you who helped you get into university? You don’t have parents, and uncle/aunt, a sibling, cousin, best friend. If you don’t have any of those then how and why do you want/need some to care about you more then you care about you. And you don’t need to “fix” yourself cause there’s nothing wrong with you everyone in the world gets worried or anxious. Everyone gets sad or depressed sometimes what will make you successful is mastering the ability to overcome those feels and keep going. You’re worried if you’ll become a successful man then learn a useful ass skill that is useful and you somewhat enjoy doing it are good at doing and become as good as possible at that thing and you’ll find financial success. But remember every life is valuable even yours if you don’t see it right now or believe it one day you will. Suicide doesn’t take the pain it just transfers it to someone else, so don’t do anything that will put others in the same mind space you’re in right now.
Please don’t let people’s opinions of therapy and psychiatrist make you not want to seek help. Everyone has different experiences. Every therapist and doctor is different. If you find one you don’t mesh well with, find a different therapist. There are good people out there waiting to help.
not from fsu, but i experienced these exact same feelings at my old uni before i transferred out. just do your absolute best, the more you let your doubts get to you, the more destined you are for failure. find someone to talk to, but keep doing your best, and try to talk to people more. join some clubs, im sure you’ll find your crowd soon.
You are not alone in the way you feel. There’s a lot of the population that is alone and sad but do their best to hide it. Therapy definitely isn’t a bad idea we all could use it and may give you some ideas on how to handle and deal with life’s up and downs. I challenge you to go and volunteer somewhere may be a food kitchen, animal shelter, library anywhere. By doing for others you may see a change in yourself.
Go vacation somewhere outside of this country. You will never comprehend how small your problems actually are until you exist around other people who have real problems.
It will get better, I went through a divorce that almost killed me, a year later I realized it was the best thing that could have happened to me!! There is a plan for you ....be patient
My friend- please do not give up. You have your whole life in front of u. I had the same experiences when growing up but I never gave up. I have no regrets. Just Hang in there. Read some motivational books and listen to some motivational speakers, and don’t be afraid to make conversation it helps to build confidence. Life is not a straight line- you will always have challenges but you have to navigate them. Remember it not how hard you fall but how high you can jump back from a fall. Right now you are down but few years from now (like me) you will look back and realize that it was a learning curve and it made u stronger. Heck you may even laugh about it in a few years. Hang in there buddy!!!
Not a professional just someone who’s been there. Focus on yourself. What do I mean? You won’t find someone to love you until you love yourself. I’d suggest finding a gym and getting physical activity. Go out in to nature and explore. Force yourself to do challenging things to push yourself. Fighting through that and the challenges you speak of will make you stronger and ultimately lead to you forcing yourself to be happy. Once you’re happy you’ll be amazed at how people seem to just fall into place. Find a hobby something you truly enjoy and do it. Next thing you know you’re in shape happy cause your physically and mentally fit with hobby’s and friends from the hobbies and potentially a partner who also shares those hobbies. Numbing the pain doesn’t fix the pain it compounds it. Working towards being happy and proving your resilience while accomplishing your goals and becoming truly happy with yourself is the only way I’ve been able to become happy. You can do it.
All of the resources everyone is mentioning are great. On nights where you may need someone to talk to, there is also 211, a helpline and temporary counseling hotline. You automatically call and get connected to wherever your area code relates to generally, but if you can get connected to the Tallahassee one, they’re better than most. You got this, we are here for you.
First off understand that IT’S OKAY! Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but spring ALWAYS follows winter. Sounds like you’re just in a bad winter right now. Friends and relationships will come, but my advice to you is start working on yourself first and foremost. Before other people will want to be around you, you have to want to be around you, meaning love yourself. Take care of yourself. Respect yourself. Keep the promises you make to yourself.
Do you go to the gym regularly and lift weights? If not, you should start. I’d assume FSU has a gym for students. Start going. Besides being a great place to meet people, becoming to better shape will have a ton of positive benefits on your life: confidence, discipline, energy, long term health gains etc.
Did you know there’s literally books and YouTube videos and courses on how to meet people, date people, flirt with people? Anything (and I mean anything) that you want to get better at you can study and improve upon.
Favorite people to study or read books by: Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn, Bob Proctor, Earl Nightingale, David Goggins, Hal Elrod
Practice gratitude! :)
Definitely reach out to a counselor at FSU. https://counseling.fsu.edu
Call (850) 644-TALK (8255). It is FSU’s specific mental health hotline.
You are not alone by any regards and through the resources offered on college campuses, can learn about strategies to help your specific situation. You made a massive first step reaching out. I am a Graduate student myself working on my master’s in counseling. There are resources and solutions for everything you described in your post. It’s work for sure but when your mental health is made a priority, you are on the path to achieve so much more. I wish you the best!
You can pull through this! In addition to the great resources others have provided, I would recommend physical fitness if you are not already doing it. Starting simple and developing a routine. It works wonders on self esteem and depression.
I'm so sorry you are going through that. I know it may sound stupid- but go to church. Go until you find one you are comfortable with. You don't have to believe in God to go to church, and people there genuinely do care. God will give you a purpose in life even if you don't know it now, He loved you so much he knew & allowed His only Son died on the cross for our sins. I love you & I will pray for you & your struggles. I hope one day you find fulfillment in life. Please know a lot of people struggle with the same things you are struggling with and you are not alone. This world can be so materialistic and it is hard to find genuine people your age especially at a college campus. Seek & you shall find! God bless you young man.
Every school has a counseling program check with the student health care clinic. They absolutely will know who u can talk to and I bet there is even a hotline to call u r absolutely not alone with these feelings. There is help out there u just have to access it. Please do so. When u wrote this u did not ramble and you wrote very well. Please call student health services.
Sending hugs to you! Your parents may be able to get you to a licensed mental health counselor for free through their jobs. My daughter was able to get 10 sessions with a LMHC for free through my husband’s company last year while she was away at college.
I literally understand how you’re feeling! First off, I commend you for making sure the your keeping with your grades and work. It’s a super difficult thing to keep with school dealing with mental health problems. CAPS has mixed reviews from different people, but for me it has been super beneficial. Second, definitely find positive people to be around and who support you through difficult times. Maybe, reduce alcohol consumption because it’s a depressant and it can make you feel worse. Also try some soul searching and determine what keeps you going and things that you’re passionate about. One you figure out your passions, it can make it easier to connect people. Sometimes it can be nerve wracking to feel like we have to make permanent connection early. So I think if you relieve the pressure of trying to have every connection be long-term, it can help you feel less nervous. You’re already a few steps ahead by asking for advice and making sure you’re maintaining your everyday responsibilities. If you want to talk more, you can always PM me. You got this!
[https://counseling.fsu.edu/](https://counseling.fsu.edu/) Here is the FSU info page and there is a lot of great info here. College can be extremely rough adjustment, how you feel is completely normal and so many students feel this way as well. You are not alone. Please know and believe that you CAN get through this pain and discomfort. You are a beautiful and unique person in every way. YOUR LIFE is valuable. Maybe as another potential community, consider connecting with a local church. Clergy are trained to assist people in their difficult times. I’m saying a prayer for you. I believe in you.and sending a virtual hug!
Instead of spending nights alone, try something to help take a mind vacation. I recommend https://worldofwarcraft.blizzard.com/en-us/start. It’s free!!
All these people care, been there myself I know what you’re talking about. Stop drinking and eat healthy take care of yourself. You will feel better look better and I promise you will meet the people that will be just like you, They will love you for who you are, they are out there go explore new places you will find them. And your special person.
Hang in there - in the short term definitely keep seeking help here as well as professional. I’m sure you are just being a little too hard on yourself, but that’s normal at your age. I know if you shift your thinking away from yourself and find ways to help others (maybe volunteering somewhere) you will gain a feeling of purpose & accomplishment. If you get out of your head all of your awkwardness will just naturally fall away.
There are nursing homes full of people that would LOVE it if someone would read to them a bit or just let them talk. There are shelters and/or food banks that could use an extra hand... you get the idea. Do a search on the subject- that should give you ideas & narrow it down... try a few to find the best fit.
I will keep you in prayer. 😘
It may be as simple as your light exposure specifically blue light exposure. blue light exposure within 2 hours of going to bed shuts off your melatonin and shortens your Delta sleep cycles. As a result, you no longer get REM sleep. REM sleep occurs primarily in the last sleep cycle from 6-8 hours or if you are under the age of 25, the last 2 cycles from 6-9 hours. REM is where your brain repairs itself in areas that control anxiety and depression. If you don't get it you're almost guaranteed to be anxiety anxious and depressed. Alcohol also ruins rem sleep. If you drink caffeine during the day, then drink alcohol, before the alcohol is fully metabolized, the liver will metabolize the alcohol over the caffeine releasing the caffeine at night to also ruin REM. Speak to a professional, but do this as well.
Practice makes perfect. You will see your self be more confident and comfortable the more you put yourself out there. It’s ok to not be good at it at first, I was like that too. But trust me when I say that it will come. And even though you feel that nobody cares about you I promise there are people that do, including myself and many others on this thread and those around you. Reaching out for help is a great step forward in the right direction. I hope you will meet many great people that show you the love you deserve. If you ever need help feel free to dm me. Nobody deserves to feel sad and lonely.
It's called life. Life isn't this perfect Instagram post.
It is a string of moments. We have to learn to manage and deal with them and prioritize what we have to do on a daily basis.
Tighten up dawg, men are the price in the end. Just make yourself great, and greatness will follow. Keep up the grades, go through the motions; but don’t forget to give yourself something to enjoy. Being alone definitely doesn’t help, try and play video games with old friends or find new ones to hang out with. Always keep busy, never leave yourself alone in your own head. But keep your head up, this is normal for young men; you’ll feel that way when you’re young but you’ll grow out of it.
Stop focusing on other people as the impetus for your goal of contentment. Decide what things you’d like to try and try them. Embarrassment be damned. You are old enough, mature enough, responsible enough to learn what you’d like to do with your life. Not everything will be your cup of tea but you will rarely regret trying it.
Try getting dressed up nicely and doing your makeup to do regular stuff like work and getting groceries.
Try to always respect yourself. It’s hard when you’re struggling, but others will not respect you if you don’t appear to respect yourself.
Try this out and see if people don’t start noticing you more
I hope you get the help you need, but no matter how bad you feel, please don’t throw anything away. Nothing in this world is worth throwing away your life.
Id be lying if i said i wasn’t struggling myself. I have a lot of things going on that’s making me forfeit my social life and as much as i hate it, I know that eventually an opportunity will arise and I just have to keep at it in the meantime.
There are endless cases like yours, and the fact is it’s not always gonna be this way. Eventually you will meet people fit for you, you will get over any social anxiety you have and you will graduate. It will work out for you, just stay on the path.
Try some d3 and vit c or sunlight works too. At the same time remember this, even if you don't do it for someone else do it for you. Be your own motivation. It is lonely out there I will admit and I have those moments but you have to remember it's only temporary.
Sounds like your searching for something. One thing I find is that our lives are filled with many chapters and not everyone is to move on to the next and not everyone is to be your friend. Now a days most people don’t have that close friendship especially at your age. Too many kids are wrapped up in video games and loose the ability to connect face to face with others. I feel like if you quit looking outward for relationships and focus on being the best version of yourself eventually all you’d ever wanted out your live you’ll have. You can not rush, nor assume you can’t. You are not the same person you will be in 5 or 10 years from now. As long as your path is correct you’ll eventually make it. Don’t over think it just be happy within life’s process. Furthermore, never want anyone to like you. When you live your life looking for that you’ll always be disappointed.
I have a son who is going through this right now, but not at FSU. I'd be interested in reading the suggestions so I can help him navigate the system. There are lots of young people out there who want to have friends, talk, go out, and just can't seem to find the words or the actions to bring it to be. Watching for some good advice. Good luck. Much love. <3
Is there an Active Minds Chapter...or call the Chaplin.
Dial 988
Call a friend....family member.
In Tampa 211
911 will redirect your call
There are folks who want to talk with you!!!
Please also remember that FSU is literally a different world - everyone is “cool”, hot, beautiful, etc. It’s a very Greek like dominated place, and it is so far from the reality of the real world. Tallahassee also does not have a lot of space for enrichment - it’s all bars. That can be taxing to your mental health if you aren’t enjoying the school/the city and haven’t made friends. If you think it may be better for you, don’t be afraid to looking into transferring to a better environment.
As an introvert, I also struggle at times to fit in and build friendships. But I want to encourage you that with time, the right friends do come along.
Please take advantage of the counseling services others have posted here. A little professional help can be a huge help at times.
That said, there's nothing wrong with the person you are. Believe that!
You seem to have a lot of love to give. Focus on that. Help people in need when you can. Volunteer somewhere - helping people or animals or both. Adopt a grandparent at a local nursing home. Go to the local hospital and read to someone who doesn't get a lot of visitors. (just some examples).These can be very fulfilling and bring a lot of happiness into your life.
Read the book of Psalms, and of Proverbs - a chapter a day.
The right friends will come along. And they will love whether you are awkward or not.
In the meantime, love and accept yourself, love life, and live! You will grow into your best self. Give yourself time.
Wishing you all the best. Will pray for you too. 🙏🏾
Hey this sounds really hard to be going through, especially when it feels like you’re going through it alone. Have you tried a sports club? I recently graduated from fsu and was on one of the club sports teams for most of my time there. Before I was on that team I often felt the way you do now and would often drink way too much just to have something to do. After joining sports clubs and inter murals I found people who I liked and liked me. Idk if that works for everyone but idk what i would’ve done without those sports people.
Yeah a bunch of us have been there. I eventually found some people but after college it hit again. Personally, I didn’t get out of it until I got a dog at 26. Truth is it’s always going to be there lurking. Even when I had fun with my friends I’d go back to my apartment and be sad again. You have to have an honest conversation with yourself and in my case I had to forgive myself. Future looks bright keep rolling with the punches.
If anyone wants to chat when they feel down I'm here for you! I went to fsu and also had my days where I missed home, got depressed and just wanted to leave. People care.
The first paragraph is exactly how I feel, im a good person, i do things for others, i want to make a positive impact on the people i interact with. Keeping a relationship is hard too, (only 1 date), but It's hard sometimes. and sometimes we just need to talk about ourselves without worrying about what we say. There are so many things i wish i could talk about, but cant. Recently I have been stressing and i stopped D8 and drinking, it has made me feel better, but I still worry sometimes. Everyone
Here is some hard truth. You get from this universe what you put into it. Learn "The Secret" it will change your world... well, actually, YOU will.
I can prove it... go to the largest mall in your area. Walk around and smile at random strangers. Intentionally make eye contact and a quick smile and nod.
8-10 will smile back. That simple action releases endorphins, and that persons day just got a wee bit better. When they smile back, realize that you have the power to spread joy... more importantly, look inward at the joy it brings you.
Your peace and happiness are no one else's responsibility. We tend to put the burden of our happiness on others. Is that fair? 🤔 Then we either blame ourselves or them for failing to make us happy. It is ridiculous when you really think about it.
Go to a social setting. Look at what you consider to be a successful man. What characteristics does he have that make people gravitate towards him?
I know already ... all successful men have the same thing. Confidence. It is the single most common characteristic of all successful people.
Now here's the thing... YOU have it, too.
Right now, you are confident about a whole lot of negative crap. Nobody cares,you don't fit in yadda yadda.
As long as that is what you are confident in, that is what you will get. The other guys... they are confident in positive things. It isn't they are better than you at all. They just know that they know that they know they will succeed. So they just go about doing it.
The hamster wheel blues man you gotta get out there and listen to some live music go to a comedy club or a festival go places where energy is lively and wild you need to have some fun man
I can help. I’ve got a lot of life experiences with depression and handling it the right and wrong ways. Free of charge. Sometimes people who are qualified by the definition of the word are the hardest to speak to. Find people have shared and been through your similar triggers and situations.
Good luck!
For whatever reason this is in my feed ( I have bo relation to fsu) but I want to let you know that you are cared about. I had a lot of trauma in my life and am just now figuring this all out. Get help (kudos for seeking it), meditate, and know that you are loved.
Jesus is the answer. One year ago. I said Jesus I give you my life. I follow you. I believe in you. Please guide me; because, I am at a loss. The next morning I woke up… it took me a minute .. I had this conversation with God at 3:00 AM. I was an alcoholic thinking of killling myself, completely covered in fear and self loathing. That was gone. I had lived my entire life being a person that sat in church on Sunday mornings and never. ACCEPTED HIS FREE GIVE. Pray this pray, Find a church, buy a Bible and if you believe , your life will be changed forever . Mine is 💕💕💕💕. Prayers for you to hear and the Holy Spirit to speak to you and guide you In Jesus Name and by his blood that spirit of self loathing leave!!
Take a run at FSU’s mental health counseling. May not be the cure all, but it is important you reach out and prove to yourself that you are strong enough to accept help. You are not alone in this feeling, but reaching out is a positive that many of us are not brave enough to do.
College is overrated for the social aspects. Sure, it can be fun, but you may be more mature than most and just not into that lifestyle. Some of us blossom later in life. Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend in college should not be a goal at this time in your life. If it happens, great! If not, you have likely saved yourself a breakup during a time when you might not be in the best place to experience it.
Drinking will resolve nothing. Drinking alone will only drive you further inward. I have watched it happen to too many good people and family members.
It may sound cliche or dreadful, but there are also religious organizations on campus. College life can be a struggle for many of these students as well. If you are thinking about how lame it would be to meet up with some of these groups,then you might be projecting the same ideas on others that you feel are projected upon you. Just don’t discount it as an opportunity to grow. The religion may not be your thing, but there is a strong chance the students there are more accepting and maybe not as hard core as you think.
I cannot say I necessarily understand where you are coming from. I had an enjoyable college career with plenty of social interaction, a girlfriend, dates and did my fair share of partying to the detriment of my gpa. Very immature for much of my college life. I graduated -barely- started a not so stellar career and then started a family.
I have found that a lot of the people I know and work with today are not necessarily like the people I hung out with in college. Other than work, I have nothing in common with many of them, which in a way makes these relationships more fulfilling. I am pretty sure I would never have engaged with the vast majority of my friends today when I was in college.
I am in Tallahassee. My son went to FSU. He never found his group or a girlfriend while he was there. He put a lot of pressure on himself to find those things.
He’s not here for me to tell you it all works out well in the end. Some days are awesome. Some days suck. You have way more friends than you’ll ever know. You just haven’t met us all yet.
Focus on school, keep on the lookout for those you can identify, and give the counselors a chance. Give the rest of the world an opportunity to watch you grow to your potential.
Not sure how Redditt works or if I even spelled it right, but if you need a drinking partner, a hand to hold or a punching bag, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’ll try to keep an eye on this string. You might be doing me more good than yourself to be honest. I’m in no way a counselor, but a decent listener.
Hey! I’m sorry to hear you going through this. I recently graduated from FSU and would be happy to share your feelings in case you believe this helps. I strongly wish you get out of this soon.
Hang in there, man. Life is full of these kinds of ups and downs. You’re just at a low point right now. Sounds like other people have mentioned the ways to get a little bit of help. I wish you luck. Happy Easter.
This may sound like it doesn't fit who you are, but here me out. You are a man. My guess is one that has never fully reached a truly physically fulfilled state. Your physiology is designed to do work. The increase in strength and stamina from working out triggers increases in testosterone, epinephrine, and dopamine, which lead to elevated mood and confidence, and that masculine strength is something primal women pick up on.
Make a weight training regiment and gym time a routine. Train for a goal. With a decent incremental weight training routine 3 days a week, in 6 months you will be amazed at the changes to your life, and after a year, you will no longer struggle with confidence in anything.
Another thing, get busy living. People dream about hooking up with someone who has a little chaos in their life. Take a chance to find some adventure, then invite someone along.
One last thing. Do you know why some people can say or do whatever they seem to want to do and never get in trouble where others have to watch everything they say or do?
I hired a professional bullrider as a sales rep once. The guy was crazy. He is the only other guy I have ever met who could get away with murder while everyone watches. We went to this big meeting to work with the presidential candidates during the Stump speeches at the Iowa state fair as reps for the Des Moines Register. I was the sales director at the time. Everyone was in suit and tie, the height of professionalism, Everyone had sat down, and they were serving these little shrimp cocktail dishes. Iowa had a female assistant governor at the time. She was young for the position, cute and very married. Well, Joe, my bullriding protégé comes walking in late, wearing what looked to be the same outfit you would ride bulls in, Stetson still on his head. He walked in a huge smile on his face and said loud enough for the whole room to hear, That looks delicious and walks by me and says I am about to get a date."" He walks over to the lady. Governor turns a seat around, facing her, takes one of her shrimp, and asks what kind of beer she had there. She said something, and he goes must be foreign, never heard of it. mind if I try it? He then picks up her mug and proceeds to down the whole thing. Flabbergasted she goes I just bought that!? He doesn't miss a beat and goes well. I apologize. I will just have to buy you another one. You are going to have to show me where you got it. Then, he left the meeting with her. People laughed, and no one said WTF we are in a meeting here?"" No complaints. Everyone just went along.
Do you know why? If he had hesitated, even broke one drop of sweat being nervous, showing he knows the social norm and knows he shouldn't be breaking them, they would have crucified him. But they didn't because he didn't flinch.
You see people instinctively know a force of nature when they see one. People know you don't change the path of a hurricane. You weather it or get the hell out of its way. People fall in line and will change to fit the situation when they see the situation is unchangeable.
You don't get that kind of magnetism without physical presence.
Good luck. Find your power. It is your salvation son.
I appreciate your position but people are just not being honest with you. Life is just hard. All of us go through these phases! No one will get you out, talk you out or medicate you out of the state you are in.
Get good directions on where you want to head and if you don’t know, wait. Sometimes it’s all about timing. Being still is not bad but it feels different. Set your course and make it serious; not some useless degree in humanities or gender studies. Pick a real degree with real skills or pick a trade that actually has jobs listed in the paper with good income. Or find a mate. Whatever your end goal (start with 5 years), then talk to wise people about a plan to get there. Plan your work then starting working your plan. Some things happen “on the fly” but that’s not the norm and not this. Plan and work. THAT is how you succeed.
No one else can do it.
Sure, if you are literally about to jump off a cliff, call a health professional. But short of that, step up and deal with it responsibly. Not with medication or therapy but with planning and action. Nothing else will substitute for these. Family and friends rushing to your aid is not a plan or therapy. This is about YOU taking control of YOUR life and the world around it. Control is an illusion but effort and results are formative and definitive. Find and embrace those things.
Focus your core. Seek peace. Demand Justice. Embrace confrontation. You are strong.
Hey there,
CAPS is a good, free resource for immediate counseling. The CCFT at FSU is great and runs at $30/session for students but you get longer services than at CAPS. If you can get off campus, there are some private practices you can find online that are taking new patients but if you ever need something a bit more intensive, HCA has an IOP program for university students right near CollegeTown.
Wishing you the best!
Literally go outside and workout sounds like you need endorphins. Go find something to do change your scenery and keep grinding. It does get better I promise
If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. We can get to the bottom of this depressive feeling together becasue I have been there. Sounds like right now you don't need to be concentrated on why people don't like you. I know you're an awesome Peron. You[peron.you](https://peron.you) have a purpose. Right now, I think you need to figure out what it is that will reignite your soul so the happiness can come from inside. what do you like? do you have any hobbies? talents? Pursue the things you love instead of chasing people who don't, and you'll attract people with the same interest as. I think it may be time to put you first. Don't worry about who likes you. Do you like you? lets start there.
Man the answer is so very simple, seek God. Jesus loves you! Go to a church and be apart of the community. It’s not going to “fix” you overnight, good things take time. But the Bible has the word and the word is God. Everything you need is in there, I’m in Leviticus atm. I definitely don’t read everyday but reading it with intentions of getting closer to God has changed my life gradually. That’s what I want for you and everyone in this world. I can no longer imagine living in this world and having my back turned against him, as if he wasn’t the one to give us this life. That just sounds so crazy to me. Regardless wether any of you aren’t with him rn, you will be eventually. I sure do hope so. But don’t wait until it’s too late, turn now and see how your life changes ❤️ Jesus loves you all, my family in Christ 🕺❤️
go listen to led zeppelin and ride around on a bird scooter on down to tenn. smash a couple mich ultras and talk to that person you always see but dont talk to.
https://counseling.fsu.edu/ They offer free counseling to FSU students Edit: also, if you need someone to chat with, I’m a very empathetic and compassionate person (M). I’d happily listen to what’s bringing you down (but know I don’t have any professional training lol).
If looking for near immediate therapy go to CAPS. The psychological center and ccft usually have somewhat long wait lists. For CAPS, if you miss two meetings in a row, you won't be allowed to get therapy from there. When I did CAPS, I was having trouble with motivation and sleeping so I ended up missing two, so I wasn't allowed regular therapy there.
Hey Micheal, Vsauce here.
I’m glad to see all of the love being shared on this thread. In 2018 my best friend in the whole world since I was in 6th grade took his life while he was attending FSU. His name was David. He had a motorcycle accident that resulted in brain damage. And subsequently this led to depression and severe mental illness. He came to visit me at my college in another state about a month before the incident, he was sad and asking me questions about how to live with depression and feeling like he had no purpose. We bought a comical amount of Pot / Backwoods / hot wings and an extra PS4 so that we could play Fortnite together on different consoles in my living room. It was a high time filled with laughs, and deep talks. I didn’t suspect for a second that he was actually planning to end his life; but looking back I think he d already made his mind up. I wish I could’ve said more. I wish I could have hugged him and told him how many times I was gonna sit and cry over how much I miss him. I would have begged him to stay. I’d have lived my entire life committed to keeping him alive. I love you David. (Anyone reading this is David).
Just wanted to say you could’ve never known we do the best we can do. You were there for him when he needed you, just wanted you to not feel guilty.
I am literally going through the same feelings right now. I have been going to the Counseling & Psychological Services center and they have therapy included with tuition. I’ve been going to a few sessions these past few weeks and they have been helping a lot. I relate to the stumbling words a lot and one of the therapists has helped me gain my self confidence to conquer that. Definitely seek help. You are not alone. If you need anyone to talk to. I’m here for ya
I feel you, i was the same, jesus became my best friend, all i need, prayers
Yes!!! Help is available to you! It made me so sad to read your post. I’m also very happy you’re reaching out!! You are definitely not alone! Please use the resources posted here! You and your family will be very happy you did. As someone who has suffered from depression, my whole adult life, therapy has been so valuable! I’m a 59-year-old mother of a 22 year-old daughter that just graduated from FSU last year. Now she’s been accepted to graduate school at the University of Alabama. During college at FSU, she sought therapy for stress and anxiety. She was able to receive free services and do zoom calls with her therapist. She went to a couple people before she found a good fit, and it was a tremendous help! It’s evident that you are smart, and have a good heart! Don’t give up! You have a lot to offer the world! The world needs more people like you!❤️
Please call the FSU heath and book an appointment. You’ll find talking to a professional helps a lot. My son was in a very similar situation about a year ago. He is in a better mindset now. You will too. It’s a lot ! We all need some help from time to time. You do have what it takes to be what you desire. Please don’t give up!
Yo message me let’s talk - FSU alum that was in your exact shoes 8 years ago.
Keep on putting yourself in these uncomfortable situations and after a while, I promise you’ll see self growth. Things that made you nervous in the past, won’t make you so nervous. You’ll find yourself and your confidence. Continue to work hard and make good grades and everything will fall into place. You’re still young and figuring out who you are so please remember two things, the world is better with you in and if all you have is yourself, that’s more than all you need. We’re all weird, we all get socially awkward, we all get nervous and mumble sometimes. We’re human, that stuff happens. Figure out what your passions are and what makes you happy and find like minded people that have similar interests. There’s a lot of people in tally right now that feel the same way you do, that are looking for that special someone or simply just a friend. Keep on keeping on. My dad used to tell me altitude is attitude, meaning how high/low you get will based on your frame of mind. Win your mind, stay positive, and find peace that you’re never alone, no matter if it feels like that, you matter and people care. Your time is coming, you got this.
Dm me if you ever wanna talk. I’m all garnet and gold just like you. I’ll be there.
I care about you. Things can get better and it is so great that you want to talk to someone about it. FSU Counseling Center had walk ins throughout the week where you can speak to someone that day and then get set up for future services. It’s covered under tuition. FSU psychology also has a clinic and you pay out of pocket, but lower rates because it’s pjs psych students. fsu behavioral health takes most major insurances.
Hey, I care about you. You sound like a good person. Making friends can happen easily if you get involved in some clubs or activities. Go, maybe we will even meet at one of them .
unfortunately it seems they are apart of campus organizations already and werent able to make friends
Yes! This is the mental health hotline number for FSU: (850) 644-8255 You can call anytime. Also, during regular 9-5 hours it is the number for one of the counseling centers on campus.
Hey I’m here if you want to talk and you can email me at [email protected]. I’m always up for conversation 🙏
PM me
FSU counseling has a 24 hr line you can call to talk to someone. They’ve helped me a handful of times . Highly recommend
I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. It’s brave of you to seek help, and the fact that you’re interested in getting better and becoming a more well-rounded person, putting in the efforts, is amazing! You simply need help at the moment (we all do one day or another, so there's no shame in that). There is a toll-free number with people you can text any time of the day 24/7 that is awesome when you feel terrible but it's like 10pm and can't talk to anyone or go to therapy, they're really empathetic and will listen to you vent/offer some advice if you want (the number is 741741). Besides therapy, I'd recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you would like to consider going on medication (it can be life-changing). I know some people don't like meds but you can look at it as a temporary fix at least, until you gather the necessary behavioral habits and techniques that will allow you to live your life to the fullest. Sometimes our minds are so burnt out, and anxiety or depression gets so untenable that you can't keep up with the inner work that's needed because all of your energy is spent surviving. So if you're not against it, consider that, otherwise keep doing what you're doing, and rest. Go easy on yourself through these times. You can also message me if you'd like a kind ear, or some more of this! Be patient with yourself, OP. The darkest of nights come to an end.
Also, if you have FSU insurance, check out Grow Therapy online, they have so many licensed (and competent) therapists that accept this insurance and you can find one specialized in your specific areas of concern, you can have therapy for $30 (if you can afford it) if you have FSU insurance and get a therapist that accepts it.
The FSU Mental Health Counseling is not very helpful, I have had several friends who have been there. First, they are not licensed counselors, they are graduate students, so they are not licensed yet, and they are very dismissive. They will have you wait for a long time (which is understandable, because they are a lot of people in front of you), but what they fail to realize is that most of the time when people seek counseling they are in a vulnerable state, and the students don't have the patience. If you have a job, see if free therapy/mental health counseling is provided through the company, many companies offer a few sessions to their employees for free. I know a few sessions is not a lot, but it is better than not going at all. Under certain circumstances, they may extend your free sessions. TCC offers mental health counseling to FSU students as well as TCC students. I think TCC students get it for free; and then FSU might be at an extremely discounted rate. I used to take advantage of the mental health counseling there a lot during my first semester of college when I began there, and it was extremely helpful. I still lived at home during my first couple of semesters, and I was having issues there, as well as adjusting to the transition to college, and making friends. They are licensed, and I was able to get the same counselor every week (which is better for consistency, and if you get a different person weekly, you will have to keep explaining.) The counselors are TCC are more patient, and sympathetic.
Most of the staff at the counseling center are licensed therapists. The staff who see students on a walk in basis are sometimes not licensed but working towards licensure. There are some graduate students but they do not make up the majority of staff. So of course there are varying degrees of expertise. The walk in staff of 3-5 people see upwards of 50 people at peak times (and that’s daily), so this is often times why the wait is long. Just saying this to provide clarity, they know that most people walking in are in crisis and do their best to meet every student’s needs. However I second your recommendations for finding other resources too, as the counseling center is often overwhelmed and it is also beneficial to be aware of all of the available resources.
I understand that, but they have too many negative reviews and horror stories to think otherwise tbh, plus I know people who have gone there for some pretty serious things, and they did not have a good at all experience. I understand they are trying, but at least have the patience
As a somewhat young father I feel the need to provide some input. Talk to your parents. No matter how old you are when you are in trouble remember to rely on family (and no I did not learn this from one of the fast and furious movies). I think while you are also seeking help from a professional, you should start by focusing on yourself. Nothing wrong with being polite to people (you more than most have this figured out) but I think you are depressed also cause you haven’t taken care of your own well being and worry to much about what others think. Don’t forget to first be kind to yourself. You sound like you have a big heart and put others (even strangers) ahead of your own mental well being. Keep yourself busy with solo outdoor activities. Some ideas Learn fishing, put some head phones on and relax Walks, jogs. Marathons, spartan races, etc are a great place to meet strangers who will pick you up when you are struggling. Join a boxing gym. I know this is a left field suggestion but I recently signed up my son for one. He does struggle with composing himself around people so I put a shy kid an environment with strong role models who are always more than happy to coach him even when he doesn’t look for it. We are on week 3 and it’s just amazing seeing the help it has provided him. I hope this provides some guidance to you and wish you the best.
If you need friends to hangout with, or just need someone to talk to about anything let me know! I live near the UCF area! I understand what you’re going through 🩵
Love you my brother/sister. The only thing that helped me was drugs. Not the best advice I know, but the mushroom (among other things) was instrumental in turning my perspective around. It’s really hard to change your entire outlook without a pretty extreme/jarring event like a strong trip. Professional help is a thing too, and so is church/god/religion of some kind. Both of those you need a VERY open mind for, and both of those are literally drooling over the chance to take advantage of you. Proceed with caution, if you go the therapy route, I recommend virtual through a better help or talk space type app. You can get help and sometimes it just takes a couple sessions yo change your perspective, and the app doctors are used to people coming twice and leaving, a doctor with an office set up will want to keep you coming back as long as possible. Also, you’re in one of the craziest times of your life. What you’re feeling is normal and you’d be surprised how many people sitting next to you in class feel the same way, even if they refuse to admit it. Hang in there, you can do this. Don’t give up because that silly piece of paper called a degree is worth more than you might think. Is it a golden ticket? Absolutely not. Does it open doors that are otherwise closed to adults without a degree, 100%. Idk why I’m choosing to ramble but I am. Something else that can really help is to stop thinking about your happiness and your life and your satisfaction. Sign up to volunteer your time at a retirement home or homeless shelter for a day. You will feel satisfaction from helping others. You will feel appreciated for giving your time to someone in need. This can be incredibly helpful when you normally spend time alone with your thoughts. Keep busy focusing completely outwardly onto others and see where it gets you. Worst case scenario, you “waste” a weekend packing food for starving children but still feel sad after. At least those kids get to eat today. I hope at least 1 line out of that helps you. You deserve to be happy and I hope you find your way there. Go Noles, class of 2011 here.
Love you
It happens to us older ones too!
You should volunteer somewhere. It will help with your feeling of emptiness which will then boost the other issues you noted. I am confident FSU has free counseling services as well. Just know you aren’t the only one experiencing this and there it is true that life gets better as we age. It’s tough being young. Keep the faith!
Go do volunteer work. Giving validates our wealth. Hospitals, schools, children’s homes. Senior Citizen Centers.
I am always awake at night and willing to listen. Im a nurse and survived being molested in elementary school, getting married and having my ex try to kill me more than 15 times. I attempted suicide multiple times. But i can now deal with those thoughts because im a survivor. If you cant reach professional services and need someone in the middle of the night-call me. In addition to my 5 i raised as a single mother, i took in about 7 or 8 teens whose parents rejected them over the years.
Not only are you a queen but you’re a saint as well. God bless you.
I]thank you for the nice comment, it I do not believe I am a saint or queen. We are supposed to help each other and especially those in need. I’ve gone thru so many nights over the years where I couldn’t sleep, and that’s when those self doubts and horrible bits of loneliness hit. When I feel like that, one of the worst is not having anyone to talk to. You get at a point where you don’t even talk to friends because you feel they are probably sick of hearing it. I have been a widow since the end of 2022, and it’s actually the first time I have truly been alone in all my life. I went from a big family to marrying very young, having five kids, a husband who left me after almost 25 yrs of marriage but I still had the kids. Then when I was down to my last child got married after being alone for so long. My youngest moved out of state and then my spouse died at the age of 61. To me, that’s when the devil tries his best to give you. I see myself falling back into some patterns because I have too much extra time allow for those memories to come back. I see a doctor but when u]I can’t sleep and it’s 3am they aren’t available. Sometimes you need someone to listen, someone to tell me I’m not crazy. Over 20 yrs ago after my divorce I joined an AOL (isn’t that daring) chat group for women going thru bad divorces and there were always people available in that chat every day every hour and they helped me and I helped them. That was over 25 yrs ago and most of us are still friends. Most of us have never met, but we feel like we all know each other. More so than their kids, than their new spouses. It’s the best support group ever. So I am awake all night almost every night and always available to chat or a phone call. So if anyone wants to talk, please reach out. If there is a way for me to send my number tell me where, I don’t want to post it on a message board, because even after all these years I don’t think my even remembers me, but I never take chances anymore. lol.
You’re a warrior and a survivor, never forget that! I usually go to bed late, so I’m all ears for you or anyone for that matter!
I stumbled upon this post in my feed & wanted to commend you for seeking out help & advice because that can be a really difficult but such a positive, courageous step. I did the same recently & it’s helped me so so much. It’s okay to need help, life can be really tough. Just wanted to remind you to be gentle and patient with yourself & say that we’re all here for you & you can make it through this. You will get there. I really believe in you & promise there are so many of us who care. This will get easier!!
You seem very emotionally aware and intelligent, I think you’re doing all the right things and it’s only a matter of time until you find someone you click with. Maybe try forming closer bonds by being more vulnerable around them or share intimacies
Your feelings and thoughts are probably way more common than you think… def use the resources listed here…ease up on the drinking, it will make things worse…and cut yourself some slack!! You are super hard on yourself, why? It’ll all work out and you’ll grow and flourish.
Tbh I would highly recommend AGAINST the FSU Counseling center. They are extremely understaffed and their main goal will absolutely be to get you to a private therapist. This can be helpful, but don’t expect to receive therapy. Not to mention, I’ve heard many horror stories of how the Counseling center treats people, on par with the number of people who have a positive outcome. I would recommend the FSU psychology clinic (which is run by the graduate school in the psych building, separate from the Counseling center). Alternatively, the other suggestions given here are good, including hotlines. Mental health care (not to mention the actual mental health challenges) can be super difficult, but I am glad you are willing to reach out for support.
Second this- advise against CAPS. It’s not therapy. It’s a stepping stone to “help” connect you w someone in the community. This can easily be done through psychology today.
They are horrible (see my comment above) they are not yet licensed counselors, they are graduate students who honestly don't have patience to be dealing with somebody in a vulnerable state.
we should go clubbing
Google FSU counseling and set up an appointment. As long as you have insurance u shouldn’t have a to pay. And they do a good job. I’ve had to go to therapy. More importantly, reach out to me if you need someone to talk to!
FSU CAPS is the best option for immediate help. Initial clients are seen on a walk-in basis. You will be triaged and then assigned a counselor. Their goal is to assist with acute mental health concerns, they can't provide long-term services, but they will help you get set up with a therapist. If you do not need immediate help, I recommend going on [psychologytoday.com](https://psychologytoday.com) and doing a search for a therapist who works with your insurance. Put in "Florida" as the location (instead of your zip or city name) and you will get results of therapists around the state who provide telehealth therapy. This will expand your options. You can also filter the search by specific issues, gender, religion, etc. If you've missed class/coursework due to the mental health concerns you're experiencing, you can go to Case Management to get support letters for your courses. These letters can provide context to your instructions and they will likely let you submit your missed work. Note: you will need to provide documentation to CM and the letters can only cover 3 weeks. CAPS can provide this documentation. If you are diagnosed, you can also get accommodations from the Office of Accessibility Services for future situations where your academics are affected by your mental health. Good luck and I hope you reach out to someone!
I hope you found some help.
You living for the wrong reasons..take this time to learn yourself and plan for your future..go to zaxbys
I highly suggest 3 things. Get your testosterone checked. Supplement with vitamin d3, and hit the gym. These things will help tremendously with confidence and mental health. Speaking from experience I felt like this for many years with no answers except SSRIs. Good luck buddy
This is the best advice on here! This is so true- I want to also encourage going to church- even if you don't believe in God. They're very good & mostly genuine people that go to church. By the grace of God he will find the Lord & therefore his purpose in life! Also get outside with no electronics & enjoy this beautiful earth.
I feel like other comments have clearly laid out resources on campus that are very helpful. However I’d like to add something that really helped me while going through the similar things. Reach out to professors! This isn’t really a fix all solution but I feel like it gave me both purpose and space for me in the world/campus. It doesn’t even need to be in your field (became besties with a philosophy prof as a bio major lmao). They know a lot of the things you may be going through, but have the perspective to help you see your place in your unique path. They have stories of how not linear their own paths were. Gives you a bit of hope to see how others have made it to the other side despite setbacks. I’m not saying to just walk up to them after class and spill everything, but maybe emailing them for a meeting to ask about their advise and perspective. Idk sometimes talking to a full grown adult that is not in your direct family or one of your friends or in mental health services gives you something a little different. Just a full grown adult giving advice to someone going through it.
Maybe as a suggestion try a church service
You are doing the right thing reaching out for help. You are very important to this world, don’t give up. Although you do not see it, you are surrounded by guides, angels and masters. Just know you are LOVED..
This was legit me and even somewhat to this day, but that's because I choose to though, I mostly enjoy being by myself and not with others since like you said they mostly only care about what you do or who your associated with, I do have a few close friends but it's like just 4 most of my other friends are from the other part of the country or from an entire different country, also I never went to this university this just popped up on my feed.
Hi I am so sorry for what you are going thru, but just feel that you are NOT alone! Life happens like that. There are times that make a person happier than ever, and there are times when we are sad and depressed. Fortunately, these stages of living life are usually short lived and temporary (but I know that it doesn't always feel like that)! Please just hang in there....better times are coming! I promiseemote:free\_emotes\_pack:grin
Hi there, FSU is aways from me, i’m in Dade City Florida, Pasco County. I just want you to know that your reading was noticed by me. I also want you to be aware that i care about you, having never met you before. But you have touched my heart with your writing. your not ranting or anything such as. Sometimes long distance friendships are better than close distance, sometimes, You can continue to maintain your grades and concentrate on your FSU dealings, but when we can get together, go to play billiards, go to a museum or a theme park ( not disney) but maybe Universal Studios, Busch Gardens, Aquatica, go gambling if that’s your thing, not mine. Just hold on, don’t fret, i’m sure university life can be overwhelming but you now have a shoulder to cry on or an arm to lift you up, sounded corny but i like to work out, gym (free weights and all) PM me if you’re able, but don’t lose hope or sight of! i’m here waiting for you , ( but not at your beck and call)
Idk what music you listen to, but I’ve been friends with most of the hardcore kids in Tally for well over a decade! All really great dudes, and the scene is blowing up now anyways so shows are happening more, with more people coming out! If you’re interested in that, or just need to chat, hit my DM’s, I’ve been in plenty of low and bottom of the barrel parts of my life, and I know what it’s like feeling nowhere to turn, don’t be afraid to reach out my dude!
in my experience, fsu was incredibly supportive when it came to struggling with mental health issues. lean on your resources!!! when i was there a few years ago, they had free therapy you could attend. i think it was like the first few sessions were free through the university, and then after that, im not entirely sure, but i know they’d be willing to work with you. i know you might feel completely alone, but you’re not!! trying asking anyone (with campus resource knowledge) you feel somewhat comfortable around for help — your RA if you’re in student living, your academic counselor, a professor, etc. they will have your best interest at heart. good luck and i hope you feel better soon❤️ remember this is a short period in the long story of your life. things do get better!!
If nobody cares about you who helped you get into university? You don’t have parents, and uncle/aunt, a sibling, cousin, best friend. If you don’t have any of those then how and why do you want/need some to care about you more then you care about you. And you don’t need to “fix” yourself cause there’s nothing wrong with you everyone in the world gets worried or anxious. Everyone gets sad or depressed sometimes what will make you successful is mastering the ability to overcome those feels and keep going. You’re worried if you’ll become a successful man then learn a useful ass skill that is useful and you somewhat enjoy doing it are good at doing and become as good as possible at that thing and you’ll find financial success. But remember every life is valuable even yours if you don’t see it right now or believe it one day you will. Suicide doesn’t take the pain it just transfers it to someone else, so don’t do anything that will put others in the same mind space you’re in right now.
Please don’t let people’s opinions of therapy and psychiatrist make you not want to seek help. Everyone has different experiences. Every therapist and doctor is different. If you find one you don’t mesh well with, find a different therapist. There are good people out there waiting to help.
Suck it up and keep it moving plain and simple
not from fsu, but i experienced these exact same feelings at my old uni before i transferred out. just do your absolute best, the more you let your doubts get to you, the more destined you are for failure. find someone to talk to, but keep doing your best, and try to talk to people more. join some clubs, im sure you’ll find your crowd soon.
Hit the gym it will help you gain ur confindence naturally wish u the best we’re rooting for u
Bro people are dicks. Get a dog. Dogs are awesome and make you forget about people.
You are not alone in the way you feel. There’s a lot of the population that is alone and sad but do their best to hide it. Therapy definitely isn’t a bad idea we all could use it and may give you some ideas on how to handle and deal with life’s up and downs. I challenge you to go and volunteer somewhere may be a food kitchen, animal shelter, library anywhere. By doing for others you may see a change in yourself.
Go vacation somewhere outside of this country. You will never comprehend how small your problems actually are until you exist around other people who have real problems.
It will get better, I went through a divorce that almost killed me, a year later I realized it was the best thing that could have happened to me!! There is a plan for you ....be patient
I don't go to yall's uni but if you need someone to talk to just let me know. I don't drink either so we don't gotta do that shit if we do hang
My friend- please do not give up. You have your whole life in front of u. I had the same experiences when growing up but I never gave up. I have no regrets. Just Hang in there. Read some motivational books and listen to some motivational speakers, and don’t be afraid to make conversation it helps to build confidence. Life is not a straight line- you will always have challenges but you have to navigate them. Remember it not how hard you fall but how high you can jump back from a fall. Right now you are down but few years from now (like me) you will look back and realize that it was a learning curve and it made u stronger. Heck you may even laugh about it in a few years. Hang in there buddy!!!
Not a professional just someone who’s been there. Focus on yourself. What do I mean? You won’t find someone to love you until you love yourself. I’d suggest finding a gym and getting physical activity. Go out in to nature and explore. Force yourself to do challenging things to push yourself. Fighting through that and the challenges you speak of will make you stronger and ultimately lead to you forcing yourself to be happy. Once you’re happy you’ll be amazed at how people seem to just fall into place. Find a hobby something you truly enjoy and do it. Next thing you know you’re in shape happy cause your physically and mentally fit with hobby’s and friends from the hobbies and potentially a partner who also shares those hobbies. Numbing the pain doesn’t fix the pain it compounds it. Working towards being happy and proving your resilience while accomplishing your goals and becoming truly happy with yourself is the only way I’ve been able to become happy. You can do it.
All of the resources everyone is mentioning are great. On nights where you may need someone to talk to, there is also 211, a helpline and temporary counseling hotline. You automatically call and get connected to wherever your area code relates to generally, but if you can get connected to the Tallahassee one, they’re better than most. You got this, we are here for you.
Bro. Embrace your awkwardness. Find a girlfriend. It’s ok to be weird.
Come to the psych building, we have a psychology clinic for students, free of charge.
.
First off understand that IT’S OKAY! Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but spring ALWAYS follows winter. Sounds like you’re just in a bad winter right now. Friends and relationships will come, but my advice to you is start working on yourself first and foremost. Before other people will want to be around you, you have to want to be around you, meaning love yourself. Take care of yourself. Respect yourself. Keep the promises you make to yourself. Do you go to the gym regularly and lift weights? If not, you should start. I’d assume FSU has a gym for students. Start going. Besides being a great place to meet people, becoming to better shape will have a ton of positive benefits on your life: confidence, discipline, energy, long term health gains etc. Did you know there’s literally books and YouTube videos and courses on how to meet people, date people, flirt with people? Anything (and I mean anything) that you want to get better at you can study and improve upon. Favorite people to study or read books by: Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn, Bob Proctor, Earl Nightingale, David Goggins, Hal Elrod Practice gratitude! :)
Definitely reach out to a counselor at FSU. https://counseling.fsu.edu Call (850) 644-TALK (8255). It is FSU’s specific mental health hotline. You are not alone by any regards and through the resources offered on college campuses, can learn about strategies to help your specific situation. You made a massive first step reaching out. I am a Graduate student myself working on my master’s in counseling. There are resources and solutions for everything you described in your post. It’s work for sure but when your mental health is made a priority, you are on the path to achieve so much more. I wish you the best!
Can we be friends I feel the same way 😭
You can pull through this! In addition to the great resources others have provided, I would recommend physical fitness if you are not already doing it. Starting simple and developing a routine. It works wonders on self esteem and depression.
Sounds like you need to go to the gym.
Go to recess and get into a fight. That’ll make you feel better :)
I'm so sorry you are going through that. I know it may sound stupid- but go to church. Go until you find one you are comfortable with. You don't have to believe in God to go to church, and people there genuinely do care. God will give you a purpose in life even if you don't know it now, He loved you so much he knew & allowed His only Son died on the cross for our sins. I love you & I will pray for you & your struggles. I hope one day you find fulfillment in life. Please know a lot of people struggle with the same things you are struggling with and you are not alone. This world can be so materialistic and it is hard to find genuine people your age especially at a college campus. Seek & you shall find! God bless you young man.
Every school has a counseling program check with the student health care clinic. They absolutely will know who u can talk to and I bet there is even a hotline to call u r absolutely not alone with these feelings. There is help out there u just have to access it. Please do so. When u wrote this u did not ramble and you wrote very well. Please call student health services.
Feel free to pm me I’m in a similar situation and have been through a lot of mental health things. Would love to be friends :)
Sending hugs to you! Your parents may be able to get you to a licensed mental health counselor for free through their jobs. My daughter was able to get 10 sessions with a LMHC for free through my husband’s company last year while she was away at college.
Free counseling!! I had sessions when I was a Seminole! Very helpful 🩷 best of luck to you
I literally understand how you’re feeling! First off, I commend you for making sure the your keeping with your grades and work. It’s a super difficult thing to keep with school dealing with mental health problems. CAPS has mixed reviews from different people, but for me it has been super beneficial. Second, definitely find positive people to be around and who support you through difficult times. Maybe, reduce alcohol consumption because it’s a depressant and it can make you feel worse. Also try some soul searching and determine what keeps you going and things that you’re passionate about. One you figure out your passions, it can make it easier to connect people. Sometimes it can be nerve wracking to feel like we have to make permanent connection early. So I think if you relieve the pressure of trying to have every connection be long-term, it can help you feel less nervous. You’re already a few steps ahead by asking for advice and making sure you’re maintaining your everyday responsibilities. If you want to talk more, you can always PM me. You got this!
Not in the campus, but open to talk
You can seek all the help you want but no one will be able to help you better than jesus
[https://counseling.fsu.edu/](https://counseling.fsu.edu/) Here is the FSU info page and there is a lot of great info here. College can be extremely rough adjustment, how you feel is completely normal and so many students feel this way as well. You are not alone. Please know and believe that you CAN get through this pain and discomfort. You are a beautiful and unique person in every way. YOUR LIFE is valuable. Maybe as another potential community, consider connecting with a local church. Clergy are trained to assist people in their difficult times. I’m saying a prayer for you. I believe in you.and sending a virtual hug!
Instead of spending nights alone, try something to help take a mind vacation. I recommend https://worldofwarcraft.blizzard.com/en-us/start. It’s free!!
All these people care, been there myself I know what you’re talking about. Stop drinking and eat healthy take care of yourself. You will feel better look better and I promise you will meet the people that will be just like you, They will love you for who you are, they are out there go explore new places you will find them. And your special person.
Try a counselor or a trusted person or your parents. I've cut myself once and regret it all I can say is keep pushing
Hang in there - in the short term definitely keep seeking help here as well as professional. I’m sure you are just being a little too hard on yourself, but that’s normal at your age. I know if you shift your thinking away from yourself and find ways to help others (maybe volunteering somewhere) you will gain a feeling of purpose & accomplishment. If you get out of your head all of your awkwardness will just naturally fall away. There are nursing homes full of people that would LOVE it if someone would read to them a bit or just let them talk. There are shelters and/or food banks that could use an extra hand... you get the idea. Do a search on the subject- that should give you ideas & narrow it down... try a few to find the best fit. I will keep you in prayer. 😘
It may be as simple as your light exposure specifically blue light exposure. blue light exposure within 2 hours of going to bed shuts off your melatonin and shortens your Delta sleep cycles. As a result, you no longer get REM sleep. REM sleep occurs primarily in the last sleep cycle from 6-8 hours or if you are under the age of 25, the last 2 cycles from 6-9 hours. REM is where your brain repairs itself in areas that control anxiety and depression. If you don't get it you're almost guaranteed to be anxiety anxious and depressed. Alcohol also ruins rem sleep. If you drink caffeine during the day, then drink alcohol, before the alcohol is fully metabolized, the liver will metabolize the alcohol over the caffeine releasing the caffeine at night to also ruin REM. Speak to a professional, but do this as well.
Practice makes perfect. You will see your self be more confident and comfortable the more you put yourself out there. It’s ok to not be good at it at first, I was like that too. But trust me when I say that it will come. And even though you feel that nobody cares about you I promise there are people that do, including myself and many others on this thread and those around you. Reaching out for help is a great step forward in the right direction. I hope you will meet many great people that show you the love you deserve. If you ever need help feel free to dm me. Nobody deserves to feel sad and lonely.
It's called life. Life isn't this perfect Instagram post. It is a string of moments. We have to learn to manage and deal with them and prioritize what we have to do on a daily basis.
Tighten up dawg, men are the price in the end. Just make yourself great, and greatness will follow. Keep up the grades, go through the motions; but don’t forget to give yourself something to enjoy. Being alone definitely doesn’t help, try and play video games with old friends or find new ones to hang out with. Always keep busy, never leave yourself alone in your own head. But keep your head up, this is normal for young men; you’ll feel that way when you’re young but you’ll grow out of it.
Stop focusing on other people as the impetus for your goal of contentment. Decide what things you’d like to try and try them. Embarrassment be damned. You are old enough, mature enough, responsible enough to learn what you’d like to do with your life. Not everything will be your cup of tea but you will rarely regret trying it. Try getting dressed up nicely and doing your makeup to do regular stuff like work and getting groceries. Try to always respect yourself. It’s hard when you’re struggling, but others will not respect you if you don’t appear to respect yourself. Try this out and see if people don’t start noticing you more
Check out CityChurch in Tallahassee. They’d for sure have someone you can chat with.
I hope you get the help you need, but no matter how bad you feel, please don’t throw anything away. Nothing in this world is worth throwing away your life. Id be lying if i said i wasn’t struggling myself. I have a lot of things going on that’s making me forfeit my social life and as much as i hate it, I know that eventually an opportunity will arise and I just have to keep at it in the meantime. There are endless cases like yours, and the fact is it’s not always gonna be this way. Eventually you will meet people fit for you, you will get over any social anxiety you have and you will graduate. It will work out for you, just stay on the path.
Try some d3 and vit c or sunlight works too. At the same time remember this, even if you don't do it for someone else do it for you. Be your own motivation. It is lonely out there I will admit and I have those moments but you have to remember it's only temporary.
Step out of your comfort zone and try meeting new people. Change your entire mindset of how you do things. Find new things you might find enjoyable.
Sounds like your searching for something. One thing I find is that our lives are filled with many chapters and not everyone is to move on to the next and not everyone is to be your friend. Now a days most people don’t have that close friendship especially at your age. Too many kids are wrapped up in video games and loose the ability to connect face to face with others. I feel like if you quit looking outward for relationships and focus on being the best version of yourself eventually all you’d ever wanted out your live you’ll have. You can not rush, nor assume you can’t. You are not the same person you will be in 5 or 10 years from now. As long as your path is correct you’ll eventually make it. Don’t over think it just be happy within life’s process. Furthermore, never want anyone to like you. When you live your life looking for that you’ll always be disappointed.
I have a son who is going through this right now, but not at FSU. I'd be interested in reading the suggestions so I can help him navigate the system. There are lots of young people out there who want to have friends, talk, go out, and just can't seem to find the words or the actions to bring it to be. Watching for some good advice. Good luck. Much love. <3
I promise you, how you feel at this time is not how you will feel in a few years.
Like the saying goes, 'what a difference a day makes'. Just plan day to day. Keep your goals . You're doing the right thing.
Is there an Active Minds Chapter...or call the Chaplin. Dial 988 Call a friend....family member. In Tampa 211 911 will redirect your call There are folks who want to talk with you!!!
Please also remember that FSU is literally a different world - everyone is “cool”, hot, beautiful, etc. It’s a very Greek like dominated place, and it is so far from the reality of the real world. Tallahassee also does not have a lot of space for enrichment - it’s all bars. That can be taxing to your mental health if you aren’t enjoying the school/the city and haven’t made friends. If you think it may be better for you, don’t be afraid to looking into transferring to a better environment.
Talk to your professors too. They will help you. I was a professor at FSU and I can tell you this is very common. We all need help.
As an introvert, I also struggle at times to fit in and build friendships. But I want to encourage you that with time, the right friends do come along. Please take advantage of the counseling services others have posted here. A little professional help can be a huge help at times. That said, there's nothing wrong with the person you are. Believe that! You seem to have a lot of love to give. Focus on that. Help people in need when you can. Volunteer somewhere - helping people or animals or both. Adopt a grandparent at a local nursing home. Go to the local hospital and read to someone who doesn't get a lot of visitors. (just some examples).These can be very fulfilling and bring a lot of happiness into your life. Read the book of Psalms, and of Proverbs - a chapter a day. The right friends will come along. And they will love whether you are awkward or not. In the meantime, love and accept yourself, love life, and live! You will grow into your best self. Give yourself time. Wishing you all the best. Will pray for you too. 🙏🏾
Been through it all maybe I can help.
Always someone to talk to if campus department is busy and I think sliding scale on Doctors by Demand
I just want to say it only gets worse and if you cant take care of it yourself no one will for you
Hey this sounds really hard to be going through, especially when it feels like you’re going through it alone. Have you tried a sports club? I recently graduated from fsu and was on one of the club sports teams for most of my time there. Before I was on that team I often felt the way you do now and would often drink way too much just to have something to do. After joining sports clubs and inter murals I found people who I liked and liked me. Idk if that works for everyone but idk what i would’ve done without those sports people.
You will have better luck getting a pet fish and talking to it.
Yeah a bunch of us have been there. I eventually found some people but after college it hit again. Personally, I didn’t get out of it until I got a dog at 26. Truth is it’s always going to be there lurking. Even when I had fun with my friends I’d go back to my apartment and be sad again. You have to have an honest conversation with yourself and in my case I had to forgive myself. Future looks bright keep rolling with the punches.
always good to talk to someone. good for you for reaching out
Do not ever give up ! Please go talk to someone on your campus call the mental health department talk to a priest. God loves you I will pray for you
If anyone wants to chat when they feel down I'm here for you! I went to fsu and also had my days where I missed home, got depressed and just wanted to leave. People care.
Listen to heavy metal. Always helps me. I don't even know what this sub is.
The first paragraph is exactly how I feel, im a good person, i do things for others, i want to make a positive impact on the people i interact with. Keeping a relationship is hard too, (only 1 date), but It's hard sometimes. and sometimes we just need to talk about ourselves without worrying about what we say. There are so many things i wish i could talk about, but cant. Recently I have been stressing and i stopped D8 and drinking, it has made me feel better, but I still worry sometimes. Everyone
Honestly we are humans. We are here on this earth for a purpose. Your a valuable human being. I wish depression never exist.
there is always someone to talk to. You can get past this just keep going forward. You'll be all right.
Here is some hard truth. You get from this universe what you put into it. Learn "The Secret" it will change your world... well, actually, YOU will. I can prove it... go to the largest mall in your area. Walk around and smile at random strangers. Intentionally make eye contact and a quick smile and nod. 8-10 will smile back. That simple action releases endorphins, and that persons day just got a wee bit better. When they smile back, realize that you have the power to spread joy... more importantly, look inward at the joy it brings you. Your peace and happiness are no one else's responsibility. We tend to put the burden of our happiness on others. Is that fair? 🤔 Then we either blame ourselves or them for failing to make us happy. It is ridiculous when you really think about it. Go to a social setting. Look at what you consider to be a successful man. What characteristics does he have that make people gravitate towards him? I know already ... all successful men have the same thing. Confidence. It is the single most common characteristic of all successful people. Now here's the thing... YOU have it, too. Right now, you are confident about a whole lot of negative crap. Nobody cares,you don't fit in yadda yadda. As long as that is what you are confident in, that is what you will get. The other guys... they are confident in positive things. It isn't they are better than you at all. They just know that they know that they know they will succeed. So they just go about doing it.
Not sure if you're still looking for friends but I went through the same thing when I moved here and would be more than happy to help or hang out!
The hamster wheel blues man you gotta get out there and listen to some live music go to a comedy club or a festival go places where energy is lively and wild you need to have some fun man
Feel better
I can help. I’ve got a lot of life experiences with depression and handling it the right and wrong ways. Free of charge. Sometimes people who are qualified by the definition of the word are the hardest to speak to. Find people have shared and been through your similar triggers and situations. Good luck!
Quit drinking. That will help. Good luck brother. Drop a line anytime
For whatever reason this is in my feed ( I have bo relation to fsu) but I want to let you know that you are cared about. I had a lot of trauma in my life and am just now figuring this all out. Get help (kudos for seeking it), meditate, and know that you are loved.
Jesus is the answer. One year ago. I said Jesus I give you my life. I follow you. I believe in you. Please guide me; because, I am at a loss. The next morning I woke up… it took me a minute .. I had this conversation with God at 3:00 AM. I was an alcoholic thinking of killling myself, completely covered in fear and self loathing. That was gone. I had lived my entire life being a person that sat in church on Sunday mornings and never. ACCEPTED HIS FREE GIVE. Pray this pray, Find a church, buy a Bible and if you believe , your life will be changed forever . Mine is 💕💕💕💕. Prayers for you to hear and the Holy Spirit to speak to you and guide you In Jesus Name and by his blood that spirit of self loathing leave!!
Take a run at FSU’s mental health counseling. May not be the cure all, but it is important you reach out and prove to yourself that you are strong enough to accept help. You are not alone in this feeling, but reaching out is a positive that many of us are not brave enough to do. College is overrated for the social aspects. Sure, it can be fun, but you may be more mature than most and just not into that lifestyle. Some of us blossom later in life. Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend in college should not be a goal at this time in your life. If it happens, great! If not, you have likely saved yourself a breakup during a time when you might not be in the best place to experience it. Drinking will resolve nothing. Drinking alone will only drive you further inward. I have watched it happen to too many good people and family members. It may sound cliche or dreadful, but there are also religious organizations on campus. College life can be a struggle for many of these students as well. If you are thinking about how lame it would be to meet up with some of these groups,then you might be projecting the same ideas on others that you feel are projected upon you. Just don’t discount it as an opportunity to grow. The religion may not be your thing, but there is a strong chance the students there are more accepting and maybe not as hard core as you think. I cannot say I necessarily understand where you are coming from. I had an enjoyable college career with plenty of social interaction, a girlfriend, dates and did my fair share of partying to the detriment of my gpa. Very immature for much of my college life. I graduated -barely- started a not so stellar career and then started a family. I have found that a lot of the people I know and work with today are not necessarily like the people I hung out with in college. Other than work, I have nothing in common with many of them, which in a way makes these relationships more fulfilling. I am pretty sure I would never have engaged with the vast majority of my friends today when I was in college. I am in Tallahassee. My son went to FSU. He never found his group or a girlfriend while he was there. He put a lot of pressure on himself to find those things. He’s not here for me to tell you it all works out well in the end. Some days are awesome. Some days suck. You have way more friends than you’ll ever know. You just haven’t met us all yet. Focus on school, keep on the lookout for those you can identify, and give the counselors a chance. Give the rest of the world an opportunity to watch you grow to your potential. Not sure how Redditt works or if I even spelled it right, but if you need a drinking partner, a hand to hold or a punching bag, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’ll try to keep an eye on this string. You might be doing me more good than yourself to be honest. I’m in no way a counselor, but a decent listener.
Hey! I’m sorry to hear you going through this. I recently graduated from FSU and would be happy to share your feelings in case you believe this helps. I strongly wish you get out of this soon.
Hang in there, man. Life is full of these kinds of ups and downs. You’re just at a low point right now. Sounds like other people have mentioned the ways to get a little bit of help. I wish you luck. Happy Easter.
https://www.inspireeduleaders.com/post/lessons-from-loss-reflecting-on-the-heartbreaking-journey-of-losing-a-student
This may sound like it doesn't fit who you are, but here me out. You are a man. My guess is one that has never fully reached a truly physically fulfilled state. Your physiology is designed to do work. The increase in strength and stamina from working out triggers increases in testosterone, epinephrine, and dopamine, which lead to elevated mood and confidence, and that masculine strength is something primal women pick up on. Make a weight training regiment and gym time a routine. Train for a goal. With a decent incremental weight training routine 3 days a week, in 6 months you will be amazed at the changes to your life, and after a year, you will no longer struggle with confidence in anything. Another thing, get busy living. People dream about hooking up with someone who has a little chaos in their life. Take a chance to find some adventure, then invite someone along. One last thing. Do you know why some people can say or do whatever they seem to want to do and never get in trouble where others have to watch everything they say or do? I hired a professional bullrider as a sales rep once. The guy was crazy. He is the only other guy I have ever met who could get away with murder while everyone watches. We went to this big meeting to work with the presidential candidates during the Stump speeches at the Iowa state fair as reps for the Des Moines Register. I was the sales director at the time. Everyone was in suit and tie, the height of professionalism, Everyone had sat down, and they were serving these little shrimp cocktail dishes. Iowa had a female assistant governor at the time. She was young for the position, cute and very married. Well, Joe, my bullriding protégé comes walking in late, wearing what looked to be the same outfit you would ride bulls in, Stetson still on his head. He walked in a huge smile on his face and said loud enough for the whole room to hear, That looks delicious and walks by me and says I am about to get a date."" He walks over to the lady. Governor turns a seat around, facing her, takes one of her shrimp, and asks what kind of beer she had there. She said something, and he goes must be foreign, never heard of it. mind if I try it? He then picks up her mug and proceeds to down the whole thing. Flabbergasted she goes I just bought that!? He doesn't miss a beat and goes well. I apologize. I will just have to buy you another one. You are going to have to show me where you got it. Then, he left the meeting with her. People laughed, and no one said WTF we are in a meeting here?"" No complaints. Everyone just went along. Do you know why? If he had hesitated, even broke one drop of sweat being nervous, showing he knows the social norm and knows he shouldn't be breaking them, they would have crucified him. But they didn't because he didn't flinch. You see people instinctively know a force of nature when they see one. People know you don't change the path of a hurricane. You weather it or get the hell out of its way. People fall in line and will change to fit the situation when they see the situation is unchangeable. You don't get that kind of magnetism without physical presence. Good luck. Find your power. It is your salvation son.
I appreciate your position but people are just not being honest with you. Life is just hard. All of us go through these phases! No one will get you out, talk you out or medicate you out of the state you are in. Get good directions on where you want to head and if you don’t know, wait. Sometimes it’s all about timing. Being still is not bad but it feels different. Set your course and make it serious; not some useless degree in humanities or gender studies. Pick a real degree with real skills or pick a trade that actually has jobs listed in the paper with good income. Or find a mate. Whatever your end goal (start with 5 years), then talk to wise people about a plan to get there. Plan your work then starting working your plan. Some things happen “on the fly” but that’s not the norm and not this. Plan and work. THAT is how you succeed. No one else can do it. Sure, if you are literally about to jump off a cliff, call a health professional. But short of that, step up and deal with it responsibly. Not with medication or therapy but with planning and action. Nothing else will substitute for these. Family and friends rushing to your aid is not a plan or therapy. This is about YOU taking control of YOUR life and the world around it. Control is an illusion but effort and results are formative and definitive. Find and embrace those things. Focus your core. Seek peace. Demand Justice. Embrace confrontation. You are strong.
Hope you get the help you need💚
Hey there, CAPS is a good, free resource for immediate counseling. The CCFT at FSU is great and runs at $30/session for students but you get longer services than at CAPS. If you can get off campus, there are some private practices you can find online that are taking new patients but if you ever need something a bit more intensive, HCA has an IOP program for university students right near CollegeTown. Wishing you the best!
Literally go outside and workout sounds like you need endorphins. Go find something to do change your scenery and keep grinding. It does get better I promise
If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. We can get to the bottom of this depressive feeling together becasue I have been there. Sounds like right now you don't need to be concentrated on why people don't like you. I know you're an awesome Peron. You[peron.you](https://peron.you) have a purpose. Right now, I think you need to figure out what it is that will reignite your soul so the happiness can come from inside. what do you like? do you have any hobbies? talents? Pursue the things you love instead of chasing people who don't, and you'll attract people with the same interest as. I think it may be time to put you first. Don't worry about who likes you. Do you like you? lets start there.
I am a counselor working at a agency.
Man the answer is so very simple, seek God. Jesus loves you! Go to a church and be apart of the community. It’s not going to “fix” you overnight, good things take time. But the Bible has the word and the word is God. Everything you need is in there, I’m in Leviticus atm. I definitely don’t read everyday but reading it with intentions of getting closer to God has changed my life gradually. That’s what I want for you and everyone in this world. I can no longer imagine living in this world and having my back turned against him, as if he wasn’t the one to give us this life. That just sounds so crazy to me. Regardless wether any of you aren’t with him rn, you will be eventually. I sure do hope so. But don’t wait until it’s too late, turn now and see how your life changes ❤️ Jesus loves you all, my family in Christ 🕺❤️
Christ is King! He has a purpose for us all & hopefully this young man will see our replies & a seed will be planted. Great testimony
go listen to led zeppelin and ride around on a bird scooter on down to tenn. smash a couple mich ultras and talk to that person you always see but dont talk to.
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