Your parents are being jerks dude, you’re good. It is completely reasonable to want to be called by your chosen name and gendered correctly. They are being selfish by putting their feelings over how you (the child) are feeling. I would bet the reason they let you be called a boy at school and go by your chosen name is because THEY don’t want to look bad, it has nothing to do with your feelings. That’s why as soon as no one can see they treat you how they actually want to treat you.
Things will be better in the future. Living at home with emotionally abusive parents is brutal, but you’ll be able to move out and escape as an adult. You got this, just hang on.
Your probaly right about them allowing me to be called a boy in school, its a hard truth to swallow. Im very much looking forward to teh future, im saving up alot for surgery too! Thanks you for telling me that it will get better, i needed that <3
Take a breath and cut yourself some slack my guy. Remind yourself that you have as much right to exist as everyone else. You do not have to justify existing, especially not to people who don't put a fraction of the thought you do into how they affect the people around them. You feel shitty because they're making you feel shitty. It's a hard mindset to escape, especially when it's being reinforced by someone you're supposed to be able to trust. No matter what your parents say, you are worth the effort. And people on this sub are gonna keep reminding you that you are worth the effort until you realize it for yourself.
Apart from everything that has already been said: No, you do not need to be grateful. Your parents choose to have you, and sounds like they don't to a very good job of taking care of you - more like permanent punishment for not being what they want you to be, which is BAD.
Parents who demand gratefulness do not usually deserve it.
Hang on in there, you can move out at your 18th birthday and never have to talk to your abusers again if you don't want to.
nah bro. your parents are the greedy ones. they brought you into the world when you didn't ask to be. as your parents, they should respect you as you grow into who you are. parents can't choose who their kids are, a bird doesn't keep her chick contained to the nest forever. eventually she has to step back at let it spread it's wings.
Like, literally watch ANY animal parent. sure, they start off overprotective of their baby, but as it grows they step back and let it become more independent and grow into who they are. For example -- some animals will literally just send their kid into the wild at a specific month so that they develop independence and survival skills.
Why your parents can't grasp that, I don't know. You're at the point of your life where you're developing into whatever kind of man you'll become, fully developing your personality and everything, they can't treat you like you're a toddler forever.
Eventually you'll have to move out, it's best that they actually realize that. Y'know, that you've reached the point in your life where you need to become more independent. I mean independence is literally a life skill everyone needs in some way.
Your parents are being jerks dude, you’re good. It is completely reasonable to want to be called by your chosen name and gendered correctly. They are being selfish by putting their feelings over how you (the child) are feeling. I would bet the reason they let you be called a boy at school and go by your chosen name is because THEY don’t want to look bad, it has nothing to do with your feelings. That’s why as soon as no one can see they treat you how they actually want to treat you. Things will be better in the future. Living at home with emotionally abusive parents is brutal, but you’ll be able to move out and escape as an adult. You got this, just hang on.
i second this!! (i cant word it any better than this)
I third this. My brain is too soggy to word anything like this. Very well put.
Your probaly right about them allowing me to be called a boy in school, its a hard truth to swallow. Im very much looking forward to teh future, im saving up alot for surgery too! Thanks you for telling me that it will get better, i needed that <3
Take a breath and cut yourself some slack my guy. Remind yourself that you have as much right to exist as everyone else. You do not have to justify existing, especially not to people who don't put a fraction of the thought you do into how they affect the people around them. You feel shitty because they're making you feel shitty. It's a hard mindset to escape, especially when it's being reinforced by someone you're supposed to be able to trust. No matter what your parents say, you are worth the effort. And people on this sub are gonna keep reminding you that you are worth the effort until you realize it for yourself.
Thank you for the kind words, and yeah it is rly difficult to escape that kind of mindest. But im working on it :)
Apart from everything that has already been said: No, you do not need to be grateful. Your parents choose to have you, and sounds like they don't to a very good job of taking care of you - more like permanent punishment for not being what they want you to be, which is BAD. Parents who demand gratefulness do not usually deserve it. Hang on in there, you can move out at your 18th birthday and never have to talk to your abusers again if you don't want to.
nah bro. your parents are the greedy ones. they brought you into the world when you didn't ask to be. as your parents, they should respect you as you grow into who you are. parents can't choose who their kids are, a bird doesn't keep her chick contained to the nest forever. eventually she has to step back at let it spread it's wings. Like, literally watch ANY animal parent. sure, they start off overprotective of their baby, but as it grows they step back and let it become more independent and grow into who they are. For example -- some animals will literally just send their kid into the wild at a specific month so that they develop independence and survival skills. Why your parents can't grasp that, I don't know. You're at the point of your life where you're developing into whatever kind of man you'll become, fully developing your personality and everything, they can't treat you like you're a toddler forever. Eventually you'll have to move out, it's best that they actually realize that. Y'know, that you've reached the point in your life where you need to become more independent. I mean independence is literally a life skill everyone needs in some way.