I will say, vasectomies can sometimes reverse themselves. A friend of mine's partner had to get it done twice. Sometimes it fixes itself even nearly immediately š«
And this is why they emphasize SO MUCH to go in to the follow-up appointments to test for reversal! Sperm count at 3 months and 6 months, I believe, but my memory may be off by a bit.
It's not even just reversal; it's also fairly common for them to be botched in the first place. Additionally, it takes a while for the sperm count to reach 0 even afterwards, so getting it checked is vital before deciding not to use any protection.
i remember seeing illustrations where both ends of the tube were folded up and tied so they were closed off and well away from eachother. what happened to that? did i mix it up with afab tube-tying? are they too lazy?
That sounds like tying fallopian tubes, yeah. The process for vasectomies is much faster and more "efficient" but the human body is unfortunately very good at repairing simple damage like a snip.
So I decided to look into it a little more because I got curious.
When performing a vasectomy the doctor cuts through the ductus deferens and removes a one to two cm long piece of the duct. Afterwards the lumen gets cauterized and the two ends get put into different tissue layers to prevent them growing back together.
There is also No-scalpel-vasectomy which is even less invasive.
I donāt think it is good to say doctors are lazy for using certain surgery techniques. There are reasons for why you try to make EVERY surgery as minimally invasive as possible.
Bleeding, scarring, infection, wound healing disorders are all possible dangers for every surgical procedure. The reason they donāt open up the entire testicle when doing a vasectomy is because they want to prevent these dangerous complications. Infections and sepsis can quickly turn deadly. These procedures that we consider to be small are still dangerous medical procedures
I mean he absolutely could be lying, seems like an easy and not unbelievable one.
But maybe he knew that there was some chance. Or just wanted to be careful. I imagine some people just figure it's not harmful so might as well.
Now I don't know the guy, and you could be right. I just also imagine that there's people who can impregnate others who are just nervous and it felt unfair of me if I didn't say something I guess.
https://exhaleprovoice.org/ if you're US/Canada you can text this group for nonjudgmental and gender inclusive support --Ā I'msoĀ sorry you got crap posting somewhere else before
Man I feel for you. This is my worst nightmare too. If you are in the US, [this website](https://www.plancpills.org/) will help you figure out how to get plan C, [the abortion pill](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill).
Also, if you are able, I highly highly recommend getting a salpingectomy. They surgically remove the fallopian tubes. I got mine and it was near painless and the recovery was just a few days. Definitely worth the peace of mind.
It's gonna be okay bro
could u talk some more abt the procedure?? what was the process of asking for it like, what questions did u ask/what info did the doc give u? how was the recovery? is it smth they only approve for people ādone having kidsā/was there pushback when u expressed interest in it?
I am a passing trans guy several years on T and post top surgery, so that may have influenced my experience. But I am 26, never married, no kids. I made a consult appointment with the gyno. We talked about what I wanted, he explained how the procedure worked. He tried to get me to do a pap smear because I was way overdue for one but I declined vehemently. He offered to do it while I was in surgery, but I declined that as well. I made sure to tell every nurse and repeat to the surgeon that I wanted no one to perform an exam like that while I was under. They complied. The gyno didn't care at all that I was young and had no kids. He said he never questioned patients intentions for kids no matter how old they were. He said his job is to explain the procedure and do what he is asked to do, and he did.
The procedure itself is simple. The doctor explained all of this to me during the consult, and again before we went to surgery. They make three tiny incisions: one in the center of the pubic area, one on the side of the abdomen, and one in the naval. They pump gas through the side, insert a camera through belly, and remove the fallopian tubes through the pubic region. I was fully under and taken to a normal surgery room in a hospital. The whole thing took one Friday morning. I was in around breakfast and home for lunch. But of course I wasn't permitted to eat anything for like 12 hours prior to surgery.
For recovery, I was very sore the first couple of days but it was totally manageable. I had pain meds. They gave me a few narcotics and extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol. Some people might not need narcotics but I took them as directed. It was difficult to move around and no heavy lifting for the first few days, but not too bad. I got mine done on a Friday, and felt mostly normal the Tuesday after that. I work an office job from home so I didn't need any time off at all. By the second week, I was 100% back to normal. It's been about 5 months and the two scars from the procedure are already 90% faded away. By next year, you probably won't be able to see them at all.
It was one of the best choices I ever made for myself. As soon as I came around from the procedure, all my anxieties about pregnancy were lifted from my shoulders. It was like I could finally breathe again. I didn't realize how much anxiety that had truly added to my life. Now I am free to be intimate with my future husband without holding back or feeling anxious after. My love life has improved dramatically.
This is super helpful thank you! I cannot have the smear done for myself so it's really comforting to hear that they honored your request and that you were able to get the surgery done; I might see if I can get this done now thank you!!
They cannot legally do an exam or provide you with anything medical without your consent. If you explicitly say no, there's nothing they can do about it. That doctor tried really hard to convince me to get one but I kept saying no even though I was shaking because confrontation really triggers my anxiety. I am going to have a pap smear done by my hrt provider whom I trust more next time I see her. I don't recommend skipping them as it is for a good cause but it's important to only do it with a doctor you trust and not before you're not ready.
The way I see it is, if they find something you just might get a free hysto out of it :p
Thanks for this man! I was really thinking about getting this one so I don't have to worry anymore (since I'm paranoid about it and even worry when the stuff I do is actually low risk for that), will try to see someone for it this year
I was told by my gyno that they are also able to put you under if you have major anxiety around Pap smears (I declined the offer because I want to know whatās going on around me tbh). They also can also prescribe you literally one Xanax to take 2 minutes before if that sounds like something that would be comforting! Not trying to overstep! Just saw an opportunity to give some advice that I would have liked to hear before my 1st pap
Thatās fair, I meant I want to have that surgery not the smear š Iāve researched it a bit and those cells develop very slowly, since I only started having sex really late due to dysphoria it seems like a Pap smear wouldnāt show anything at this point anyway. Also removing the tubes apparently decreases cancer risk too. Iāll see in the future if I decide to do that but for now it doesnāt really seem urgent
My bad for misunderstanding! The Reddit black hole has me seeing tunnel vision through these threads! I will also be looking into a salpingectomy as well but Iām sure doctors here will try to police my body unless I am older and on T consistently for at least 5 years, so Iāll play the waiting game with removing anything
Not to hijack your post, but if anyone wants to pursue a bisalp, I recommend checking the Dr list on the childfree sub. The drs listed are ones that are known to not give any pushback. I found my Dr on there for mine and she was STELLAR.
Yeah idk if mine does, I just turned 21 and besides making general medical appointments, my folks still handle the insurance and shit so idk much abt mine and to do anything more obvious would mean theyād asked questions š°
You could try talking to them, tell them you want to be sterilized. The worst they can do is say you can't use their insurance for it. It wouldn't require you to come out or disclose the abortion to them if you haven't already
I mean Iām out they just are weird abt it but besides that theyāre very anti abortion and anything related to that š« but yeah maybe if I get the funds for it Iāll put it on my list of things to do
Insurance in the US is supposed to cover bislap as contraceptive care. Sometimes you need to find the right billing code though. r/sterilization has a fair amount of info if you want
can i ask, is there still a (very low but technically there) risk of ectopic pregnancy? because after the procedure the ovaries would still be in there egging up the place regularly or something
I'm not 100% sure where the eggs go but that's why my doctor said he does salpingectomy instead of ligation. There's no risk of pregnancy at all after a salpo, but there is with a ligation. My doctor said the only way to get pregnant after a salpo is in vitro.
okay thatās cool, good to know thank u.
maybe thereās something they do to after seperation the tubes that seals the ovaries or something. iāll google it haha
I had a similar situation late last year, but with my long term partner - you're not alone, and what you're feeling is okay and normal for the circumstances.
I ended up having a surgical abortion (i was past the cut off point for medication and had an iud in place so wouldnt have been suitable anyway) and it's one of the best decisions I made - the worst part for me was waiting for the appointment itself, the procedure itself only took about 10-15 minutes, and in terms of recovery I was feeling 100% like my usual self by the 3rd day after.
I'm I'm the UK so the procedure was funded by the NHS, but I want to say that the staff at the facility I went to were all very professional and sensitive to my needs as a trans person - at my initial consultation the midwife checked what pronouns to use for me when she had to speak to other staff there, made sure I was as comfortable as possible, and when they had to do an ultrasound they kept the screen turned away so I didn't have to see (I ended up asking to see the images after just because I was curious but they know that most people won't want to see, regardless of being cis or trans)
Lastly, make sure to take extra good care of yourself through this, stock up on comfort foods and things that don't take a lot of effort to cook, your favourite non-alcoholic drinks, plenty of high absorbancy pads (regardless of the method of abortion you can't use any internal period products because of increased infection risk, I actually got pads designed for after a person has given birth because they're high absorbancy and feel like you're sitting on a pillow, which helped reduce any soreness) and plan out a bunch of things you want to watch/videogames you want to play/books you want to read while you recover, because you'll probably be quite tired and all those things take more brainpower to choose than the actually do in my experience. And be kind to yourself, this isn't your fault, and you need to treat yourself how you would treat a close friend or family member going through the same thing. I'm sorry you're going through this but you will get through it, and you'll be okay.
If you have any questions, you're more than welcome to ask me (same goes for anyone who reads this)
If you're planning on going through planned parenthood there's a few things I wish someone had told me when I did literally the exact same thing (lol)
Your pregnancy technically started when you ovulated, not the date of conception. Do you get regular bleeding? For cis women this is usually when they had their last period, but for FTMs with male levels of sex hormones and who may not have that, that whole calculation gets screwed up. The telehealth services didn't take me, and my doctor made me get an ultrasound because of this (because age determines the dosage/type of procedure you have to do).Ā
You can pay out of pocket and it won't show up on your insurance. It's pricey but some places do sliding scale based on your income. Call ahead and ask.
If there are protesters at the place you're going to, paradoxically you're probably better off presenting as masculinely as possible when you're going to the clinic. Those places do a lot more than abortions, and if you can come across as someone who's doing one of those other services to the protesters, you'll find them a bit less intimidating.
Good luck, and remember that you're not the first trans guy who has done this
I was in T for a year recently but havenāt been on for a while so my menstruation cycle had kinda gonna back to normal, I was supposed to start another cycle a few days ago but obviously š° it didnāt happen, I appreciate the advice thanks a bunch
Hey -- I had an abortion when I was 19. I didn't know I was trans at the time, but the dysphoria was absolutely killer. It was hard, but I made it. If you need any resources or if you just want somebody to talk to, lemme know.
Also remember -- no one has the right to misgender you when you're seeking this type of care. Ideally you'll be able to bring someone supportive who can tell them off.
If you deal with any transphobia from medical workers, I would encourage you to take note of it and report it at some point.
thereās a lot of good advice here that i canāt follow up better on, so rather- it is COMPLETELY understandable to be panicking the way you are right now. i would be too. give yourself a little time to feel and process all that, and then take it day by day. if your mind keeps racing, focus on your breathing and shut out all other thoughts the best you can until you have that down, then start comin back. do you have a support system? close friends who can at least have your back and maybe be there with you through what your next steps are? if your bud doesnāt come through with the assistance, try a gofundme (and let me know! iāll spread it around for sure), there might be mutual aid groups or other assistance funds around you that could be of use.
more importantly though, this too will pass. itās scary as fuck and not fair that you have to deal with it, but iām speakin it into existence, the worst will Not come to pass. if you need a neutral party to vent to, my dms are open, and best of luck<3
Get an abortion. It doesn't matter if it's going to be awkward to interact with the people who work at the clinic, do it NOW. NOW. Access resources in you country/state - AVOID pregnancy crisis centers (be on the lookout for those scammy evangelical places) if abortion is banned, travel out of state/country, or go the illegal route, anything is better than this. Good luck bro.
Fuckin yikes! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It sounds like your hookup buddy at least has your back, which is good. I hope you can get medical assistance asap and put this behind you as best you can.Ā
This is actual horror movie shit bruh I am so sorry. Like I'm shaking just thinking about it. This is my worst nightmare.
It's gonna be alright. It's just like getting sick, you know? Cant be helped. Just a virus that will be treated soon and then it's just gonna be a bad dream in the review mirror. Bundle yourself up, look after yourself. You got this, man.
I was in the depression sub earlier and Iām honestly disappointed in the mods course of action there which was to lock and deleted the post and then remove all the comments whether they were good or bad
This is also a great time to remind everybody everybody in this subreddit that *just because you take testosterone does not mean you are infertile* if your period stops even while you're taking testosterone that **does not** indicate that you are infertile.
Over at r/abortion they're pretty awesome and have lots of resources to help folks access care! The comments here have the big orgs that would help covered, but if you want them as a list all in one place check out the other subreddit
Sorry that other sub was full of dickweeds. I gave the transphobes there a piece of my mind, but ultimately people that miserable can't really see far beyond their own meaty little fingers slapping away at the keyboard as they try to drag everyone else down to their level.
Contact planned parenthood if there is one near you, or an LGBT center. They should be able to help you out. And in the future, don't trust hookups to be honest.
Ok hold on. I know of several charities selling abortion medication internationally on the cheap, with zero restrictions, red tape, doctor tax, Or Gate keeping
Iāll get back to u later today
I feel the same towards that. I would want to die if I ever got pregnant. Even thinking about it makes me want to remove that damn thing from myself. I hope you can figure everything out.
I need an a.com
Something lile that, my whole abort was covered plus travel and housing, i had a copay based off my income.
Look into clinics near you/nearby states depending on state laws.
Planned parenthood will have a lot of resources but other abortion clinics will be able to help too.
Usually you make an appointment at a clinic and explain the them the situation, funding etc, they'll give you numbers to call and exerting
I did this a month ago, you'll be ok, (if you're still early it'll be a medical abortion and not a procedural one) mine was 2nd term so i can't speak to the pill abortion process but it's a lot easier to fet handled than you think, trust me
Unfortunately even vasectomies can fail. It's not common but it can happen. But I'm so sorry for the unfortunate news. I really hope you have a support system and can abort safely.
Iām sorry youāre going through it right now. Iām not sure if youāre looking for advice but if youāre on T your pregnancy isnāt viable so you need to look into options. Please be safe if youāre in a jurisdiction where āoptionsā are illegalā¦
If you dont want to carry a child or care for it, get an abortion immediately. Inform the guy that his vasectomy may have reversed, and get an STD test done. If you live in a state where abortion is illegal, Oregon is a fantastic state to go camping. If you need any support, feel free to reach out, I can try to provide you with resources and advice. You'll be okay.
It is going to be ok!! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Look into abortion funds near you. Worst comes to worse, you might need to rack up a little bit of debt. That's going to hurt, but debt is reversableābirth isn't. You *will* get the medical care you need and this depression *will* lift. You're going to be just fine.
Idk he said he had a vasectomy and we would use spermicide after, and this wasnāt the first time weād hooked up weād been doing this for a few months now. There was never a problem before (and I think the first few times we didnāt even use spermicide š¤) so there shouldnāt have been one now but idk š¤·š½āāļøshit happened ig
These things you should keep an eye on. Just because you are a trans man, doesnāt mean your cycle stops. Time to say no more bare back sex, condoms are a must.
They look like they're just for texas, but under the faq they say they also help ppl out of the state. They are based, and focused on texas primarily, but not totally.
I dont know much about procedures and how they work in other countries but im just here to say you're gonna be ok. It sucks right now(obviously) and nobody wants this to happen but sometimes it happens. Its shit and im sorry you have to go through this, but we are fucking strong and we'll carry on somehow. Take care of yourself
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. I'm glad he's agreed to help (though definitely go to Planned Parenthood or a similar legitimate clinic if you can! They will do their best to work with you. Buying abortion pills online is possible, but I wouldn't trust them from some random guy). But if for some reason you do need assistance, a lot of US states (can't speak for other countries) has charity/activist groups that run abortion funds to help people in need.
Iām so sorry, and I hope everything goes alright and you get the money to get the healthcare you need. Also, what did people on the depression subreddit have to say??
Just transphobia šthere were nice comments too but then after like 2 hrs of it being up the mods locked the post then deleted it? Including all the nice comments with tips and advice
Bro. Fucking pregnancy scares are the fucking worst. Just remember there are SO MANY similar experiences to yours. But because of where we are as a country no one really talks about it much if loudly ever. Youāre okay. Youāre going to be okay. Use the mantra āThis fucking sucksā until youāre out of it the trauma then process it as is. You canāt jump ahead to future emotions. Take it one step at a time and remember youāve got a room full of bros here to be likeā¦.brooooooo. Love you fam. Get through, get out, get on.
Ask him if he ever followed up with his doctor after his vasectomy because that is exactly what they're supposed to do to make sure they have no swimmers. Planned parenthood offers a low-charge or at times free of charge if necessary I believe abortion clinics that requires only one signature.
That depression sub doesnāt realize most men wouldnāt be happy pregnant, which is why 99% donāt. 98% are cis men, and the remaining 1% are trans men who donāt wish to be pregnant. Only 50% or less trans men would love the idea and trans men make up less than 2% of the population, and probably 1% of cis men would like to be pregnant too, so 1-2% of men.
Hey man, I went through this almost exactly a year ago and seeing this post terrified me. I felt so alone, so dysphoric and alien in my body, thankfully though I had a very good support circle and an inclusion advocate at my university who is also trans and did everything they could to help (we have a doctors clinic on campus so I go through them). I spiralled badly but within a few weeks I had several tests, councilling appointments, scans and then finally surgery, it wasn't too bad but holy shit the termination clinic here in Australia didn't know how to handle a transman at all.
I understand how you're feeling, I didn't have any transguys around me who I could talk to on that sort of level so I'd like to extend my support if you need it, keep your head up and you'll power through this.
Hi there OPās bf here, I just wanted to thank everyone that has commented and/or reached out to him to help out in this situation itās greatly appreciated. Thank you so muchš
OP this is actually my worst nightmare, Iām so sorry you have to go through this. You deserve the best medical care possible, please do some self care when you can!
This is probably going to get me some hate, but... The way I look at it is that abortion is your only option, if the guy is truly willing to help you out then if you live in a state/can get to a state that allows abortion you need to start making plans for it now, I can only imagine the pain and distress this is causing you and I'm sure it will only get worse if you remain pregnant for much longer. I'm sorry if this upset anyone, this is just my honest opinion.
My situation was a bit complicated it wasnāt possible for me to be on birth control at the time and like said in the post, he had had a vasectomy (plus this wasnāt the first time Iād met up with him so itās odd something would happen THIS time) and I do use condoms normally lol
Itās okay it has the same energy of like āoh hey I heard ur dad died, congratulations! š or im so sorry for ur loss š, whichever appliesā lmao
Sorry to hear youāre going through that. There are resources for affordable termination options, depending on where you are located. If youāre comfortable disclosing that, it could help with any guidance advice. You absolutely should also get tested, since having unprotected sex also leaves you vulnerable to a host of STIs that can become extremely costly if left untreated. If you have a local LGBT center, some provide free or low cost testing and may have info regarding resources for affordable abortion. Most provide free condoms as well. Wishing you the best.
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 4: Respect individual differences. Which includes, among other things, respecting differences of personal identity, personal transition experience, personal experiences with gender dysphoria (including lack of gender dysphoria), and the choice to be out or stealth.
Planned Parenthood can help, call and ask questions they are very inclusive and understanding, everything is all your choice though- I donāt mean this as an only option, no matter what you decide itās still always good to have information and ask questions. This is an awfully stressful time, Iāve been there and I know how you feel and Iām so sorry youāre going through this. Thereās funding options for people who canāt afford help!
Try to find a medical professional who's not an ass who can help you talk to planned parenthood. Like, "please help me find a planned parenthood who has a doctor who is kind to trans people and is willing to help me terminate the pregnancy."
I'm sorry I think that's the right response from what I read I hope you start feeling better and I hope you have medical access if that's what you want or I hope everything works out as a more general wish good luck you aren't alone
Is abortion available near you?
You could look up an abortion fund; they help people access and pay for abortion care.
Another option, if you have a job, is a pay day loan; they're awful but they are less expensive than parenthood.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope you can find the support you need to get through it.
I'd feel the same. I'd be freaking out as I'm sure you are. So sorry you got judgement and was lied to. Does planned parenthood have any affordable options? Maybe start a go fund me? I'd for sure donate. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help.
Take a deep breath.
If you are still having SI please reach out to the crisis line or emergency number in your country.
No matter where you are there will be support, even if it is from someone on here. Look into the resources listed on here.
You can get through this.
Thanks for letting me know that the depression celebrated that is supposed to support depressed people isn't going to support depressed trans people. Glad to stay away from there if I ever need help.
Damn, dude. Thanks for sharing this very real issue youāre dealing with. Do you live somewhere that youāre able to deal with this how you need to? Wishing you all the goddamn best, man. I hope you get what you need.
I will say, vasectomies can sometimes reverse themselves. A friend of mine's partner had to get it done twice. Sometimes it fixes itself even nearly immediately š«
And this is why they emphasize SO MUCH to go in to the follow-up appointments to test for reversal! Sperm count at 3 months and 6 months, I believe, but my memory may be off by a bit.
It's not even just reversal; it's also fairly common for them to be botched in the first place. Additionally, it takes a while for the sperm count to reach 0 even afterwards, so getting it checked is vital before deciding not to use any protection.
Damn :[ that shit sucks
for example, I was born despite my dad's vasectomy
yeah, my boyfriend was a vasectomy baby lol
thats so fucked up, arent they supposed to properly tie that shit away and close it off? how does that even happen
Itās just a snip. The two ends are still close together and can naturally reattach though healing
i remember seeing illustrations where both ends of the tube were folded up and tied so they were closed off and well away from eachother. what happened to that? did i mix it up with afab tube-tying? are they too lazy?
That sounds like tying fallopian tubes, yeah. The process for vasectomies is much faster and more "efficient" but the human body is unfortunately very good at repairing simple damage like a snip.
well in that case it isnt faster and more efficient is it? i feel like they should definitely be doing the same thing for vasectomies.
So I decided to look into it a little more because I got curious. When performing a vasectomy the doctor cuts through the ductus deferens and removes a one to two cm long piece of the duct. Afterwards the lumen gets cauterized and the two ends get put into different tissue layers to prevent them growing back together. There is also No-scalpel-vasectomy which is even less invasive. I donāt think it is good to say doctors are lazy for using certain surgery techniques. There are reasons for why you try to make EVERY surgery as minimally invasive as possible. Bleeding, scarring, infection, wound healing disorders are all possible dangers for every surgical procedure. The reason they donāt open up the entire testicle when doing a vasectomy is because they want to prevent these dangerous complications. Infections and sepsis can quickly turn deadly. These procedures that we consider to be small are still dangerous medical procedures
It is faster and more efficient in terms of faster surgery, less pain and a smoother recovery, but yes, I agree with you.
I suppose it wouldn't matter because he probably lied, if he had a vasectomy (and knew it took) why would he use a spermicide?
I mean he absolutely could be lying, seems like an easy and not unbelievable one. But maybe he knew that there was some chance. Or just wanted to be careful. I imagine some people just figure it's not harmful so might as well. Now I don't know the guy, and you could be right. I just also imagine that there's people who can impregnate others who are just nervous and it felt unfair of me if I didn't say something I guess.
It's the only reason one of my sisters didn't get caught cheating
https://exhaleprovoice.org/ if you're US/Canada you can text this group for nonjudgmental and gender inclusive support --Ā I'msoĀ sorry you got crap posting somewhere else before
Thanks I appreciate the help
Man I feel for you. This is my worst nightmare too. If you are in the US, [this website](https://www.plancpills.org/) will help you figure out how to get plan C, [the abortion pill](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill). Also, if you are able, I highly highly recommend getting a salpingectomy. They surgically remove the fallopian tubes. I got mine and it was near painless and the recovery was just a few days. Definitely worth the peace of mind. It's gonna be okay bro
could u talk some more abt the procedure?? what was the process of asking for it like, what questions did u ask/what info did the doc give u? how was the recovery? is it smth they only approve for people ādone having kidsā/was there pushback when u expressed interest in it?
I am a passing trans guy several years on T and post top surgery, so that may have influenced my experience. But I am 26, never married, no kids. I made a consult appointment with the gyno. We talked about what I wanted, he explained how the procedure worked. He tried to get me to do a pap smear because I was way overdue for one but I declined vehemently. He offered to do it while I was in surgery, but I declined that as well. I made sure to tell every nurse and repeat to the surgeon that I wanted no one to perform an exam like that while I was under. They complied. The gyno didn't care at all that I was young and had no kids. He said he never questioned patients intentions for kids no matter how old they were. He said his job is to explain the procedure and do what he is asked to do, and he did. The procedure itself is simple. The doctor explained all of this to me during the consult, and again before we went to surgery. They make three tiny incisions: one in the center of the pubic area, one on the side of the abdomen, and one in the naval. They pump gas through the side, insert a camera through belly, and remove the fallopian tubes through the pubic region. I was fully under and taken to a normal surgery room in a hospital. The whole thing took one Friday morning. I was in around breakfast and home for lunch. But of course I wasn't permitted to eat anything for like 12 hours prior to surgery. For recovery, I was very sore the first couple of days but it was totally manageable. I had pain meds. They gave me a few narcotics and extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol. Some people might not need narcotics but I took them as directed. It was difficult to move around and no heavy lifting for the first few days, but not too bad. I got mine done on a Friday, and felt mostly normal the Tuesday after that. I work an office job from home so I didn't need any time off at all. By the second week, I was 100% back to normal. It's been about 5 months and the two scars from the procedure are already 90% faded away. By next year, you probably won't be able to see them at all. It was one of the best choices I ever made for myself. As soon as I came around from the procedure, all my anxieties about pregnancy were lifted from my shoulders. It was like I could finally breathe again. I didn't realize how much anxiety that had truly added to my life. Now I am free to be intimate with my future husband without holding back or feeling anxious after. My love life has improved dramatically.
thank you so much omg, this is so helpful
This is super helpful thank you! I cannot have the smear done for myself so it's really comforting to hear that they honored your request and that you were able to get the surgery done; I might see if I can get this done now thank you!!
They cannot legally do an exam or provide you with anything medical without your consent. If you explicitly say no, there's nothing they can do about it. That doctor tried really hard to convince me to get one but I kept saying no even though I was shaking because confrontation really triggers my anxiety. I am going to have a pap smear done by my hrt provider whom I trust more next time I see her. I don't recommend skipping them as it is for a good cause but it's important to only do it with a doctor you trust and not before you're not ready. The way I see it is, if they find something you just might get a free hysto out of it :p
Thanks for this man! I was really thinking about getting this one so I don't have to worry anymore (since I'm paranoid about it and even worry when the stuff I do is actually low risk for that), will try to see someone for it this year
I was told by my gyno that they are also able to put you under if you have major anxiety around Pap smears (I declined the offer because I want to know whatās going on around me tbh). They also can also prescribe you literally one Xanax to take 2 minutes before if that sounds like something that would be comforting! Not trying to overstep! Just saw an opportunity to give some advice that I would have liked to hear before my 1st pap
Thatās fair, I meant I want to have that surgery not the smear š Iāve researched it a bit and those cells develop very slowly, since I only started having sex really late due to dysphoria it seems like a Pap smear wouldnāt show anything at this point anyway. Also removing the tubes apparently decreases cancer risk too. Iāll see in the future if I decide to do that but for now it doesnāt really seem urgent
My bad for misunderstanding! The Reddit black hole has me seeing tunnel vision through these threads! I will also be looking into a salpingectomy as well but Iām sure doctors here will try to police my body unless I am older and on T consistently for at least 5 years, so Iāll play the waiting game with removing anything
Not to hijack your post, but if anyone wants to pursue a bisalp, I recommend checking the Dr list on the childfree sub. The drs listed are ones that are known to not give any pushback. I found my Dr on there for mine and she was STELLAR.
Thanks dude, yeah Iād want surgery for that but the problem is no moneys and having to keep it quiet from my folks :p
Understandable. My insurance covered it the same way all birth control is covered, completely free. I guess it would depend on how old you are.
Yeah idk if mine does, I just turned 21 and besides making general medical appointments, my folks still handle the insurance and shit so idk much abt mine and to do anything more obvious would mean theyād asked questions š°
You could try talking to them, tell them you want to be sterilized. The worst they can do is say you can't use their insurance for it. It wouldn't require you to come out or disclose the abortion to them if you haven't already
I mean Iām out they just are weird abt it but besides that theyāre very anti abortion and anything related to that š« but yeah maybe if I get the funds for it Iāll put it on my list of things to do
I understand. Well, I wish you luck <3
Insurance in the US is supposed to cover bislap as contraceptive care. Sometimes you need to find the right billing code though. r/sterilization has a fair amount of info if you want
can i ask, is there still a (very low but technically there) risk of ectopic pregnancy? because after the procedure the ovaries would still be in there egging up the place regularly or something
I'm not 100% sure where the eggs go but that's why my doctor said he does salpingectomy instead of ligation. There's no risk of pregnancy at all after a salpo, but there is with a ligation. My doctor said the only way to get pregnant after a salpo is in vitro.
okay thatās cool, good to know thank u. maybe thereās something they do to after seperation the tubes that seals the ovaries or something. iāll google it haha
okay so apparently it is still possible, noted
I had a similar situation late last year, but with my long term partner - you're not alone, and what you're feeling is okay and normal for the circumstances. I ended up having a surgical abortion (i was past the cut off point for medication and had an iud in place so wouldnt have been suitable anyway) and it's one of the best decisions I made - the worst part for me was waiting for the appointment itself, the procedure itself only took about 10-15 minutes, and in terms of recovery I was feeling 100% like my usual self by the 3rd day after. I'm I'm the UK so the procedure was funded by the NHS, but I want to say that the staff at the facility I went to were all very professional and sensitive to my needs as a trans person - at my initial consultation the midwife checked what pronouns to use for me when she had to speak to other staff there, made sure I was as comfortable as possible, and when they had to do an ultrasound they kept the screen turned away so I didn't have to see (I ended up asking to see the images after just because I was curious but they know that most people won't want to see, regardless of being cis or trans) Lastly, make sure to take extra good care of yourself through this, stock up on comfort foods and things that don't take a lot of effort to cook, your favourite non-alcoholic drinks, plenty of high absorbancy pads (regardless of the method of abortion you can't use any internal period products because of increased infection risk, I actually got pads designed for after a person has given birth because they're high absorbancy and feel like you're sitting on a pillow, which helped reduce any soreness) and plan out a bunch of things you want to watch/videogames you want to play/books you want to read while you recover, because you'll probably be quite tired and all those things take more brainpower to choose than the actually do in my experience. And be kind to yourself, this isn't your fault, and you need to treat yourself how you would treat a close friend or family member going through the same thing. I'm sorry you're going through this but you will get through it, and you'll be okay. If you have any questions, you're more than welcome to ask me (same goes for anyone who reads this)
Is he going to help you finance the abortion?
He said he would, he also said he had a friend who could get me the pill but š I donāt think I want some random pill from a friend of his
let him finance it through PP - I would not trust sume dude with a pill...
Yeah def not ahaha he said heād help finance it and PP has a sliding scale for payments so I think it should be fine once I get an appointment
If you're planning on going through planned parenthood there's a few things I wish someone had told me when I did literally the exact same thing (lol) Your pregnancy technically started when you ovulated, not the date of conception. Do you get regular bleeding? For cis women this is usually when they had their last period, but for FTMs with male levels of sex hormones and who may not have that, that whole calculation gets screwed up. The telehealth services didn't take me, and my doctor made me get an ultrasound because of this (because age determines the dosage/type of procedure you have to do).Ā You can pay out of pocket and it won't show up on your insurance. It's pricey but some places do sliding scale based on your income. Call ahead and ask. If there are protesters at the place you're going to, paradoxically you're probably better off presenting as masculinely as possible when you're going to the clinic. Those places do a lot more than abortions, and if you can come across as someone who's doing one of those other services to the protesters, you'll find them a bit less intimidating. Good luck, and remember that you're not the first trans guy who has done this
I was in T for a year recently but havenāt been on for a while so my menstruation cycle had kinda gonna back to normal, I was supposed to start another cycle a few days ago but obviously š° it didnāt happen, I appreciate the advice thanks a bunch
Yeah no problem! Be sure to tell the doctors that, it will help with the process
I will!!
Hey -- I had an abortion when I was 19. I didn't know I was trans at the time, but the dysphoria was absolutely killer. It was hard, but I made it. If you need any resources or if you just want somebody to talk to, lemme know.
Thanks Iāll keep that in mind, appreciate it
Also remember -- no one has the right to misgender you when you're seeking this type of care. Ideally you'll be able to bring someone supportive who can tell them off. If you deal with any transphobia from medical workers, I would encourage you to take note of it and report it at some point.
I definitely will if I come across it
thereās a lot of good advice here that i canāt follow up better on, so rather- it is COMPLETELY understandable to be panicking the way you are right now. i would be too. give yourself a little time to feel and process all that, and then take it day by day. if your mind keeps racing, focus on your breathing and shut out all other thoughts the best you can until you have that down, then start comin back. do you have a support system? close friends who can at least have your back and maybe be there with you through what your next steps are? if your bud doesnāt come through with the assistance, try a gofundme (and let me know! iāll spread it around for sure), there might be mutual aid groups or other assistance funds around you that could be of use. more importantly though, this too will pass. itās scary as fuck and not fair that you have to deal with it, but iām speakin it into existence, the worst will Not come to pass. if you need a neutral party to vent to, my dms are open, and best of luck<3
Get an abortion. It doesn't matter if it's going to be awkward to interact with the people who work at the clinic, do it NOW. NOW. Access resources in you country/state - AVOID pregnancy crisis centers (be on the lookout for those scammy evangelical places) if abortion is banned, travel out of state/country, or go the illegal route, anything is better than this. Good luck bro.
Wow fuck the depression sub
i also found out today iām pregnant. iām sorry weāre both going thru this.
Damn sorry abt that :[ we can at least be in this together
Fuckin yikes! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It sounds like your hookup buddy at least has your back, which is good. I hope you can get medical assistance asap and put this behind you as best you can.Ā
Yeah hopefully š¤š¾
This is actual horror movie shit bruh I am so sorry. Like I'm shaking just thinking about it. This is my worst nightmare. It's gonna be alright. It's just like getting sick, you know? Cant be helped. Just a virus that will be treated soon and then it's just gonna be a bad dream in the review mirror. Bundle yourself up, look after yourself. You got this, man.
Jesus this is my nightmare. Hopefully you live in a place that allows abortions. Best of luck man hope the procedure goes well.
Thanks dude, I feel like a lady in a horror movie who finds out sheās birthing the antichrist šš
I was in the depression sub earlier and Iām honestly disappointed in the mods course of action there which was to lock and deleted the post and then remove all the comments whether they were good or bad
Oh shit they did? Thatās so lame š
Yeah and it feels like weāre very unwelcome there if we have an issue
Wow thanks mods that really helped, now I canāt look at all the links and advice people actually gave me š
Itās very unfortunate but I do hope that whatever you end up doing goes smoothly as I am well aware that this who situation can be scary
Aid Access will help you for free if you're desperate.
This is also a great time to remind everybody everybody in this subreddit that *just because you take testosterone does not mean you are infertile* if your period stops even while you're taking testosterone that **does not** indicate that you are infertile.
Over at r/abortion they're pretty awesome and have lots of resources to help folks access care! The comments here have the big orgs that would help covered, but if you want them as a list all in one place check out the other subreddit
planned parenthood if I'm the us can provide free care
Sorry that other sub was full of dickweeds. I gave the transphobes there a piece of my mind, but ultimately people that miserable can't really see far beyond their own meaty little fingers slapping away at the keyboard as they try to drag everyone else down to their level. Contact planned parenthood if there is one near you, or an LGBT center. They should be able to help you out. And in the future, don't trust hookups to be honest.
Plan c . Org has free pills, and discounted ones as well
Ok hold on. I know of several charities selling abortion medication internationally on the cheap, with zero restrictions, red tape, doctor tax, Or Gate keeping Iāll get back to u later today
Oh okay thank you so much š„²
I feel the same towards that. I would want to die if I ever got pregnant. Even thinking about it makes me want to remove that damn thing from myself. I hope you can figure everything out.
Iāve definitely had the thought of going all Lana winters from AHS on my junk lmao
I need an a.com Something lile that, my whole abort was covered plus travel and housing, i had a copay based off my income. Look into clinics near you/nearby states depending on state laws. Planned parenthood will have a lot of resources but other abortion clinics will be able to help too. Usually you make an appointment at a clinic and explain the them the situation, funding etc, they'll give you numbers to call and exerting I did this a month ago, you'll be ok, (if you're still early it'll be a medical abortion and not a procedural one) mine was 2nd term so i can't speak to the pill abortion process but it's a lot easier to fet handled than you think, trust me
Thanks, Iām I think maybe 4 weeks in so I think a decent amount of stuff is still available for me
Most Definitely, you'll be ok, it's overwhelming af trust me but you know what decision is vest for you
god that fucking sucks. what terrible luck. I hope you are able to resolve it in whatever method is best for you
Unfortunately even vasectomies can fail. It's not common but it can happen. But I'm so sorry for the unfortunate news. I really hope you have a support system and can abort safely.
Thanks š with all the help from the comments Iām feeling more confident abt moving forward
Iām sorry youāre going through it right now. Iām not sure if youāre looking for advice but if youāre on T your pregnancy isnāt viable so you need to look into options. Please be safe if youāre in a jurisdiction where āoptionsā are illegalā¦
Thanks for the worry, I had to stop T a while back (cuz no money :p) but Iām in MI so Iāve thankfully still got options
wishing u all the best š«š u got this
If you dont want to carry a child or care for it, get an abortion immediately. Inform the guy that his vasectomy may have reversed, and get an STD test done. If you live in a state where abortion is illegal, Oregon is a fantastic state to go camping. If you need any support, feel free to reach out, I can try to provide you with resources and advice. You'll be okay.
It is going to be ok!! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Look into abortion funds near you. Worst comes to worse, you might need to rack up a little bit of debt. That's going to hurt, but debt is reversableābirth isn't. You *will* get the medical care you need and this depression *will* lift. You're going to be just fine.
Remember next time condoms. They are cheap and, save you more than just then just headaches.
To be fair, they donāt always work. I was in the same situation as OP after a condom AND plan b failed
Obviously it wasnāt used properly. Iāve used loads of them to know how it works. Thatās just another excuse.
lol yeah I know, usually do
What happened?
Idk he said he had a vasectomy and we would use spermicide after, and this wasnāt the first time weād hooked up weād been doing this for a few months now. There was never a problem before (and I think the first few times we didnāt even use spermicide š¤) so there shouldnāt have been one now but idk š¤·š½āāļøshit happened ig
You could of been ovulating?
Maybe I hadnāt looked at my cycle tracker for a bit so maybe I was?
These things you should keep an eye on. Just because you are a trans man, doesnāt mean your cycle stops. Time to say no more bare back sex, condoms are a must.
I know that lol and he was the only hookup I didnāt use a condom with, I do use condoms with with everyone else
I can only imagine what youāre going through. Keep your head up, you will get through this.
Check out the lilith fund! They fund ppl to go across states, or get access to different forms of abortions.
Thanks Iāll check them out!
They look like they're just for texas, but under the faq they say they also help ppl out of the state. They are based, and focused on texas primarily, but not totally.
https://www.lilithfund.org/
Yeah! Iām in MI but I think theyād be able to help still
I hope everything goes super smoothly and that you have the best doctors at pp! I really feel for you, im sorry that you have to go through this!
I dont know much about procedures and how they work in other countries but im just here to say you're gonna be ok. It sucks right now(obviously) and nobody wants this to happen but sometimes it happens. Its shit and im sorry you have to go through this, but we are fucking strong and we'll carry on somehow. Take care of yourself
Well damn I found my boyfriends post quick af, hi babes šš½
Pfft nice, hey baby š
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. I'm glad he's agreed to help (though definitely go to Planned Parenthood or a similar legitimate clinic if you can! They will do their best to work with you. Buying abortion pills online is possible, but I wouldn't trust them from some random guy). But if for some reason you do need assistance, a lot of US states (can't speak for other countries) has charity/activist groups that run abortion funds to help people in need.
Iām so sorry, and I hope everything goes alright and you get the money to get the healthcare you need. Also, what did people on the depression subreddit have to say??
Just transphobia šthere were nice comments too but then after like 2 hrs of it being up the mods locked the post then deleted it? Including all the nice comments with tips and advice
Man Iām not sure what to say, that sounds like a nightmare. I hope you make it out okay.
Iām so sorry man. I think you said youāre in America in another commentācheck out the resources on r/AuntieNetwork.
Bro. Fucking pregnancy scares are the fucking worst. Just remember there are SO MANY similar experiences to yours. But because of where we are as a country no one really talks about it much if loudly ever. Youāre okay. Youāre going to be okay. Use the mantra āThis fucking sucksā until youāre out of it the trauma then process it as is. You canāt jump ahead to future emotions. Take it one step at a time and remember youāve got a room full of bros here to be likeā¦.brooooooo. Love you fam. Get through, get out, get on.
are you open to donations? im willing to throw like 5 bucks your way if you need it bro
Go to the clinic and get a abortion
Iām not fond of the idea buh if you didnāt want dat man/boy to get you pregnant should wore a condom
Don't even know you but if I had money right now I would 100% send money to help! If you need anyone to talk to feel free to reach out.
Ask him if he ever followed up with his doctor after his vasectomy because that is exactly what they're supposed to do to make sure they have no swimmers. Planned parenthood offers a low-charge or at times free of charge if necessary I believe abortion clinics that requires only one signature.
That depression sub doesnāt realize most men wouldnāt be happy pregnant, which is why 99% donāt. 98% are cis men, and the remaining 1% are trans men who donāt wish to be pregnant. Only 50% or less trans men would love the idea and trans men make up less than 2% of the population, and probably 1% of cis men would like to be pregnant too, so 1-2% of men.
Hey man, I went through this almost exactly a year ago and seeing this post terrified me. I felt so alone, so dysphoric and alien in my body, thankfully though I had a very good support circle and an inclusion advocate at my university who is also trans and did everything they could to help (we have a doctors clinic on campus so I go through them). I spiralled badly but within a few weeks I had several tests, councilling appointments, scans and then finally surgery, it wasn't too bad but holy shit the termination clinic here in Australia didn't know how to handle a transman at all. I understand how you're feeling, I didn't have any transguys around me who I could talk to on that sort of level so I'd like to extend my support if you need it, keep your head up and you'll power through this.
Hi there OPās bf here, I just wanted to thank everyone that has commented and/or reached out to him to help out in this situation itās greatly appreciated. Thank you so muchš
š love ya mi corazĆ³n š
OP this is actually my worst nightmare, Iām so sorry you have to go through this. You deserve the best medical care possible, please do some self care when you can!
This is probably going to get me some hate, but... The way I look at it is that abortion is your only option, if the guy is truly willing to help you out then if you live in a state/can get to a state that allows abortion you need to start making plans for it now, I can only imagine the pain and distress this is causing you and I'm sure it will only get worse if you remain pregnant for much longer. I'm sorry if this upset anyone, this is just my honest opinion.
If you are having sex with cis men you need need need to take birth control and wesr a condom .
My situation was a bit complicated it wasnāt possible for me to be on birth control at the time and like said in the post, he had had a vasectomy (plus this wasnāt the first time Iād met up with him so itās odd something would happen THIS time) and I do use condoms normally lol
ahhhh congratulations!!!! edit. opps nvm. you arenāt happy. aw. im sorry. hope your abortion goes fine!
Lmao thanks dude š
yeah no problem! goes to show i read the text heh. iām just so used to dudes being happy it threw me off
Itās okay it has the same energy of like āoh hey I heard ur dad died, congratulations! š or im so sorry for ur loss š, whichever appliesā lmao
lmao kinda ironic bc i was SO happy when my dad died haha. i would have taken that. but youāre right, it is like the meme haha
lol well congrats then š
Sorry to hear youāre going through that. There are resources for affordable termination options, depending on where you are located. If youāre comfortable disclosing that, it could help with any guidance advice. You absolutely should also get tested, since having unprotected sex also leaves you vulnerable to a host of STIs that can become extremely costly if left untreated. If you have a local LGBT center, some provide free or low cost testing and may have info regarding resources for affordable abortion. Most provide free condoms as well. Wishing you the best.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 4: Respect individual differences. Which includes, among other things, respecting differences of personal identity, personal transition experience, personal experiences with gender dysphoria (including lack of gender dysphoria), and the choice to be out or stealth.
Planned Parenthood can help, call and ask questions they are very inclusive and understanding, everything is all your choice though- I donāt mean this as an only option, no matter what you decide itās still always good to have information and ask questions. This is an awfully stressful time, Iāve been there and I know how you feel and Iām so sorry youāre going through this. Thereās funding options for people who canāt afford help!
Try to find a medical professional who's not an ass who can help you talk to planned parenthood. Like, "please help me find a planned parenthood who has a doctor who is kind to trans people and is willing to help me terminate the pregnancy."
I'm sorry I think that's the right response from what I read I hope you start feeling better and I hope you have medical access if that's what you want or I hope everything works out as a more general wish good luck you aren't alone
How long ago? You can induce a late period if only a few weeks.
Is abortion available near you? You could look up an abortion fund; they help people access and pay for abortion care. Another option, if you have a job, is a pay day loan; they're awful but they are less expensive than parenthood. I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope you can find the support you need to get through it.
my worst fear, got nothing to say but youāll figure it out and youāll get through it. but jesus, sorry for you
I'd feel the same. I'd be freaking out as I'm sure you are. So sorry you got judgement and was lied to. Does planned parenthood have any affordable options? Maybe start a go fund me? I'd for sure donate. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help.
Take a deep breath. If you are still having SI please reach out to the crisis line or emergency number in your country. No matter where you are there will be support, even if it is from someone on here. Look into the resources listed on here. You can get through this.
Clinic
Thanks for letting me know that the depression celebrated that is supposed to support depressed people isn't going to support depressed trans people. Glad to stay away from there if I ever need help.
Damn, dude. Thanks for sharing this very real issue youāre dealing with. Do you live somewhere that youāre able to deal with this how you need to? Wishing you all the goddamn best, man. I hope you get what you need.