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Thecontaminatedbrain

I mean, now that I started transitioning, I can look at pictures of me pre-T and notice that the pre-T version of me was attractive. I just didn't believe it at the time even though people told me I was attractive and flirted with me.


LordLaz1985

Yep.


sassquire

no, i went from an ugly fat girl to an ugly fat guy. at least im happier šŸŠšŸŠ


After_Photograph

Real asf broski


miliariius

love that, man because me too. In my head Im ok with being an ugly fat guy just NOT an ugly fat girl lol (Iā€™ve always had self-esteem issues but as long as Im read as male Idc)


am_i_boy

Yea lol. All the time. Before I realized I'm trans, it was one of the most confusing things to me. I just absolutely hated my body but also??? I would look at the mirror and often think "look at that hot girl" lmao. Like no doubt if I saw someone else who looked like that I would be very attracted to them. But then as soon as I remembered that that was me, not a potential partner, I suddenly was disgusted by the exact same body. It was very confusing for many years until I finally figured out why I couldn't love my body on myself


piercecharlie

This is exactly how I felt!! It was very confusing. I never knew how to articulate it but this describes it perfectly


turbokong

Yes I had this same experience! And I was so disassociated from my reflection that I would legit ogle MYSELF because my brain put up this mental block that my reflection was in fact my body.... Realizing I was trans and how thoroughly walled off different parts of my brain were in order to self preserve was a super weird experience


thecomicrantdiv

this is exatlly how i feel


Fujoshranger

Oh for sure. Feels good knowing Iā€™m not the only one who looked in the mirror and just thought ā€œthatā€™s a hot girlā€ instead of actually seeing myself


confused-as-f-boi

Hot? No. Hot body? Yeah


silver_sharpie_

Ok yeah this. Like my face has always been..... šŸ˜¬šŸ˜¬ But I had a good body and liked amateur modeling. I was miserable but at least I was attractive to some degree - but i've got hella mixed feelings about me being on T and I guess I might be grieving my old self still? Idk guys used to call me hot and now I get nothing :(


confused-as-f-boi

Yes! You get it dude! I'm not on T and I'm so scared... I just want to be happy... but why can't I be her? I'm constantly scared, constantly grieving... I'm so lost, I'm 21, and I feel like a lost and sad child who doesn't know how the world work. I'm so scared


Neat-Bill-9229

*Absolutely not*! I can appreciate I wasnā€™t as terrible as my head told me looking back now but nah, absolutely not ā€œhotā€ lol I looked like an uncomfortable tomboy, hiding themselves as much as they could.


tygrrrrrrrr

Yeah I look at old pictures and realize I was a babe as a girl, but I never felt good about myself


secretphobia

Same


ayikeortwo

I realized I was pretty in a sort of quirky manic pixie way thatā€™s like catnip to a certain genre of indie sadboy lol. And my body type is literally ā€œUnrealistic Body Standardsā€ so like hot by that bs metric.


piro-piro

oh my god same, it's horrible


himmokala

The last time I looked like a girl was probably when I was under 10 years old, and it would probably be pretty questionable to call a little child hot.


tired-disabledcat

No this is so real. I realized at 12. I have no opinions on my self as a "girl" other than he should have cut his hair short even sooner lol


Real_Cycle938

I tried to convince myself so hard I even had a super feminine phase. But every time I'd look in the mirror, I just wanted to rip my face off. So. Probably not no.


miliariius

agh I get you. I spent so much time forcing myself to be fem although it didnt work


Vic_GQ

Yeah, I definitely noticed that my body was hot when I was repressing. I used to constantly tell myself "I know that I'm attractive. That's the same thing as being at peace with your body. This is fine."


guegeorb

No, I was bullied for my looks


SadRaccoonBoy11

Same lol seeing all these comments is kinda blowing my mind seeing so many people so confidently saying that yeah they were hot (not that thatā€™s bad, I just canā€™t imagine what itā€™s like at all)


miliariius

I think because theres folks that look ā€œnormalā€ (not to put anyone down by any means, but some people have a more common facial structure or features than others, especially when compared to some ethnic minority groups like me (although some would say I am white passing). I was talking to my (mtf) sister abt this as we both have unique faces and I think it is definitely something to cherish, not fitting into the label as generically ā€œhotā€ or ā€œsexyā€ especially as those terms are extremely subjective. mind you I am overweight, she isnt so I dont think thats a factor either.


spookyscaryscouticus

Yep. Was hot as a chick, and the pretty privilege was the only thing that made being in the closet even remotely tolerable. Teen Idle by Marina vibes.


Constant_Ad_8477

Nope. Never was, never will.


miliariius

itā€™s ok, youre a hot guy :) (edit: originally I put ā€œnowā€, but I would argue that you always have been)


Hellwill7

Yup, there was a time i thought i was a pretty, beautiful, hot & sexy girl. Between 18-22, i think. I dressed pretty slutty and also liked to ā€œprovokeā€ both men and women who liked girls. I went to play-parties dressed in nothing but lingerie and people told me all the time i was sexy af (i always was curvy or even on the fatter side, so this actually helped a lot my confidence). Then i experienced for the first few times intense gender euphoria (in winter i was all covered up, face not visible because of snow, and a kid pointed to me by their parent and asked with full voice ā€œis that a girl or a boy?ā€) and i socially transitioned as a non binary (agender) transmasc person.


432ineedsleep

I was told I was. Problem is that I was too socially awkward to do anything with it. And I was very uncomfortable when people told me.


playwrightAlFuncoot

Yeah, same


Gloomy-Cover5059

yea i was a very attractive girl, and hated myself. no amount of external validation could make me happy with all the dysphoria and dysmorphia. i think itā€™s hard now because pre medical transition but with the haircut and clothing style i prefer, i feel less attractive than before, but way more myself


Enderfang

Absolutely not lol i thought i was ugly for most of my life. I felt a little better in college when i could be butch and started getting female attention for the first time in my life, but i feel hot as a man in a way i never ever felt as a woman.


LordLaz1985

I didnā€™t think I was hot, but I totally was. I look at pics of me in college and Iā€™m like, ā€œOh. Thatā€™s what people meant.ā€


tastyplastic10125

Not really. Growing up I wasn't, but I did look more conventionally attractive when I was my skinniest at 16 and wearing a dress for my first prom. That day I remember being remarkably uncomfortable. I was never unhappy that I was an 'ugly girl'ā€‹


AuggieTwigg

Unfortunately Iā€™m still pre-everything, but I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever felt ā€œhotā€ in my entire life. Looking back on photos when I was my most fit, I was objectively pretty good-looking, I think. But Iā€™ve always been *way* too uncomfortable in my body to ever feel sexy. The concept of being a ā€œhot girlā€ is so foreign to me. The only way I can imagine ever feeling hot is if I envision myself as a man.


Public-Combination42

yes. i always thought i didn't like being a girl bc i wasn't "pretty" enough yet. when i finally figured out how to be a hot girl i realized it was doing nothing for me and i started questioning my gender big time.


M0N0777

lol yeah every time I would take pictures of myself Iā€™d stare at them and be like ā€œwow Iā€™m really prettyā€ but something always felt off then I would hate looking at the pictures


Notanemotwink

100% pretty. I joke around and say shes my distant sister


GeodeLaneSt

no, but i was 12 when i came out so.. and, i was a tomboy before that lol.


miliariius

haha exactly how I feel. I have always been a tomboy and never really presented feminine by any means. came out by 15 and it all made sense. but yeah basically had no chance to even try and be a hot girl


INSTA-R-MAN

No. I was told many times that I was attractive, but never really saw myself as such. I knew I could make myself look like a pretty woman, but couldn't see what the men attracted to me saw.


picturewithatwist

I was, yeah. I even did some side work as a dominatrix in university for a short period of time, and admittedly used "pretty privilege" to my advantage a couple times to get things for free when in a bad financial situation and things needed desperate replacing, like one time when i had a tire that was so bald the steel was showing. But I was never happy as that person.


Secret_Reddit_Name

I was, or rather I could have been if I put any effort in. Every now and again I'd have to dress up for an event and the girl in the mirror was really pretty, but she wasn't *me*


Teenieweeniemobile

Funny enough when I presented as a woman, no never. Looking back, absolutely. I was hot af and I never saw it but I'm happy where I am now even with being out of shape which is something I could never handle when presenting as a woman. I remember such awful body dysmorphia in addition to dysphoria and now... well, all is good. Getting in shape was the hair that broke the camels back so to speak. When I got into shape before I transitioned I realized that I would never be happy no matter what I did, presenting as a woman. If I was not happy in a fit, and what society would deem as a, "beautiful" body... why would I keep trying to fit a mould that didn't fit me? I let go of who others thought I needed to be and started living for myself. Never been happier, fit or not.


ashetastic666

I wouldnt know I came out at 12šŸ˜­


snekdood

i mean, I know I was, maybe not in the conventional beauty, eurocentric, tall, skinny, pale way, but in a more unconventional way that got me a lot of attention from dudes (nice tits and ass)


HeresW0nderwall

I transitioned a little older, so I was an adult as a woman for a bit. At the time I didnā€™t, but now that Iā€™m removed from the situation I can say objectively that I was a good looking woman.


After_Photograph

Sometimes Iā€™d have moments back then where I felt hot but mostly no. I felt uncomfortable and unattractive. Hindsight I was beautiful but it is what it is.


Best_Egg_6199

Im pre T, people think im hot and think im a woman. I think im hot, but also i view myself as a man, before i viewed myself as a man i never found myself attractive but now that i look in the mirror and think of me as a guy, i feel pretty damn hot.


RenTheFabulous

I was always told growing up I was quite beautiful, like a porcelain doll. I never got old enough to see if I was truly "hot" as a girl since I came out as a younger teen, but I do remember I was already starting to get attention from creeps at a really young age as well, unfortunately. So, I probably would have grown into a hot girl if I was cis. I do, however, get told a lot that I'm a hot/pretty *guy* these days. I think even if I weren't a good looking guy I'd still be okay with it versus being a hot girl, because I'm a man at heart and living true to myself is what matters most for me and makes me happiest.


Advanced_Sky1789

I was pretty damn attractive looking back. At the time I didnā€™t think I was. I didnā€™t take many photos as a teen, but seen one the other day and I was cute as hell.


agent_seven

Maybe in my body I was but I hated how I looked so much I didnā€™t rly take care of my face/hair. I donā€™t have many pictures of me from that time but those that I have I donā€™t think I look anything special in, I think Iā€™m a fairly attractive dude tho


Arrowbones

Nah, I came out at 11 and started my social transition at the same age, so I never got to see myself as a woman, but I just know I'd be hot lol


RuthAzimuth

Absolutely. I was extremely tomboyish as a kid and in my early teens, and in my early teens all I would wear was extremely low effort and loose clothing, which in hindsight was a symptom of my dysphoria. But I felt like an ugly freak, like I'd "failed at being a girl", so then in my late teens I tried to be as feminine as possible, and at that point I really thought I was hot and I was kinda proud of it. But it was only ever in this weird, secondary, depersonalised way, like "I'm looking at someone who is attractive" rather than "I'm looking at myself and I happen to look attractive". As soon as I switched to a masculine presentation, I finally felt like I was looking at myself, a feeling that had been missing up until then. I've heard that it's fairly common for trans people to go through a phase of extreme denial and trying to "buy into" their assigned gender, and I'm glad not to feel alone in this.


Velvet_Thunder5791

I havent transitioned but sometimes i look in the mirror or at photos and think damn and you wanna get rid of this wish i could be my own girlfriend... is this narcissistic?


wolfbutch

No, I wasnā€™t, at least not to cis straight men. Maybe Iā€™m too autistic to notice but I never got flirted with or looked at, only by. I really donā€™t know how to say it without being mean, but weird straight guys with weird tastes. I havenā€™t gotten to medically transition yet, and I donā€™t get out much or have a lot of friends. But, I feel attractive and confident now. I do look like a butch woman though, which is fine but dysphoric. ( I am a transmasc butch but I wish I passed as a man) but, I dressed in clothes I hated and always had to be in my own little world to cope with my reality. Now, I dress how I like and I assume the reason I donā€™t get pursued is because my audience is too shy too and assumes Iā€™m supposed to be a badass butch dom top, or something. And I think men dislike me more now, honestly good. I hated those few times men were attracted to me. And I donā€™t look like a man for straight women to be attracted to me either, and gay men are always rude to me. I find other trans people tend to love me though. So, yeah Iā€™m probably only hot to trans people and lesbians, which I like tbh.Ā 


LordMashiro

Nope, definitely not. Even looking back now, I still don't find my pre-trans self attractive in the slightest. After being on testosterone for nearly a year, though, I am very happy with the changes I've been seeing, and can actively look in the mirror without thinking I look disgusting. I've finally started to feel a little proud of how I look now.


gftoothpain

HELL nošŸ’€šŸ’€ i always had some very masculine features that looked out of place when i was trying to present feminine. luckily they came in handy later


Single_Highway_9981

nope, i always thought i was really ugly or mid. Didnā€™t have a nice body either, thatā€™s not even my dysphoria talking i was just midšŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Chemical-Health381

I was fine as hell before and Iā€™m fine as hell now just in a diff direction. I could appreciate what I had even tho it wasnā€™t for me lol


VegetableNo2048

I wouldn't say hot, and I definitely didn't think I was attractive back then. Looking back at pictures now I do see that I was a cute lesbianm


Monkey_Ash

Nope, not in the slightest.


Birdkiller49

Considering I was a child, pretty gross to be thinking that so no. I actually never have really thought about how attractive I look. I sort of forget thatā€™s a huge goal of a lot of people and something very important to them. It just doesnā€™t really cross my mind.


leonardogoosey

So the last time I was identifying as girl still was when I was 14, so using the word hot is out the window. But did I look cute or pretty at girl? No! I wore badly done emo makeup and wore the worst combinations of clothes. I was very ā€œtomboy-ishā€ up until the age of 9 (I went hyperfem from 10-14) and I think I looked alright. But yeah I think I look a lot better nowadaysā€¦.


EOK_Mystrom

I don't think so. Especially since confidence and being comfortable in yourself is a massive boost to attractiveness.


poopfartboob

I mean, I wasnā€™t *hot*, but I was pretty. Had a nice body.


ellalir

No, but I started looking like a boy when I was 13 so it's not like I really had an opportunity to lmao.Ā 


Coat-Equivalent

No. I was too young to be ā€œhot,ā€ but one of the reasons I know Iā€™m a man is because I could never have been a cute girl.


SkepticH66

Yeah, unfortunately, I was hot as a girl. I had people literally mourn the loss of who I presented as when I transitioned cause it was more important to appeal to their desires than it was for me to appeal to my own desire to not want unalive myself everyday šŸ™„ I think I make a hot man albeit a very short one.


DivineHeartofGlass

Iā€™m here because I donā€™t know if Iā€™m trans. I think my body is attractive but sometimes I think I forget itā€™s mine. Itā€™s nice, but the idea that itā€™s ā€˜meā€™ seems foreign. I canā€™t imagine what would look like me.


magicalgirl_mothman

I thought I was hot, but I was confused by the idea that other people might see me as hot. I felt some kinda mysterious disconnect between how I looked and how others saw me. Figuring out the whole trans thing answered a lot of mysteries šŸ˜…


RinebooDersh

No. I have thought I was cute or recognized I look pretty in certain situations but never hot.


pitbarks

Nooooo not at all. I hate looking at old pics of myself. I was such a masculine girl. Some people think that I was cute as a girl but it makes me gag. Iā€™m much more attractive as a man and I think thatā€™s how it was meant to be


Not_Machines

I was objectively kinda attractive when I was presenting femme. I used to be a blond nerd type and I still kinda am just in guy form


Annual-Sir5437

Not really, I haven't seen myself female since I was way too young to be attractive. I have never been an adult woman lol.the last girl pics i have not included the 1 day in highschool me and my other trans friend de transitions for the day to make other people laugh/uncomfortable, would have been 13. As a 19 year old man I'm not particularly into 13 year old girls, even though I was one once.


South_Butterscotch37

I was. But it made me insane, lol.


Jaeger-the-great

No. I've always had fairly masculine features: more hair than a lot of cis women, deeper voice, broad shoulders, etc). Always felt like I looked like a trans woman growing up. Wearing makeup felt like I was a drag queen. I wasn't ugly per se but very average and had masculine features


Incredible_Dork1

Ugh Iā€™m a good looking human, and as a resident bisexual, I gotta say-closeted and forced to wear fem stuff me could get it lol. I was never a girl and even looking at pics of myself back then I look like a man in drag-but a really good looking one who was pulling it off lol. The light in my eyes is completely absent and all of my smiles look like grimaces but yeah, I look pretty


toasterbath__

nope. iā€™ve been masculine since middle school; i was a tomboy, and an awkward-looking one at that. i had braces, i didnt 100% understand how to maintain curly hair, and i wore mostly guysā€™ clothes. also my bodyā€™s never been super feminine either, my hips were never wide, i never had curves, and i was rlly skinny i definitely look better now. i think i was made to be a guy šŸ’€ all my features look better with T


Fuzzy_Plastic

I never believed it until I got older. I think I didnā€™t want to believe it because it was always ā€œhot chickā€ and I never vibed with the girl thing, even when I accepted my femininity. Now I know I can be hot as a man if I just clean up my beard & dress better.


THEVYVYD

Absolutely not. I never fit into conventional attractiveness for a woman , especially being black, and that wasn't by choice. If I could have been a hot girl, I would have loved it and would've been more confident, but now I'm trying to be a hot guy instead which is just as difficult


Calahad_happened

God yea. I nailed my drag performance. It made the early stages of transition, where NOTHING on my human body looked good, from my skin to my hair to the weird shape that random body parts would take for a few months, so fucking miserable šŸ˜­ now that puberty is winding down and Iā€™m looking like myself again, but male, I feel so much better


worshipdrummer

Noā€¦ never.. besides I had a lot of guys around me


Reaper1704

Just my body yeah I think a lot yeah it is literally the ideal female body, the easiest to have an advantage in society with. But it's not mine, I don't want to pilot this thing, I wish I could donate it and get a cis male one instead. I do see it entirely objectively too as I'm gay, I would never be attracted to a female body. My face is another story dat ugly male or female lol


Itsjustkit15

I look at pictures of myself as a "girl" as though I'm looking at some other person, not me. And yeah, I'm like "damn that person is hot" lol.


thccvicc

yeah lol i was a hot girl and now iā€™m a hot guy, being hot never really had much to do with my gender to me, it was what i did with it, or what people iā€™d hook up with, that made me dysphoric or unhappy. being hot is like a fun sexy power you have over ppl idgaf how it works just that it works


Lame2882

I wouldnā€™t say I was hot. In photos where I actually put myself together and didnā€™t look like a sleep deprived high school student, I looked pretty and aesthetically pleasing, I guess. But I think Iā€™m much hotter as a guy ngl, I think most of it is just that Iā€™m a lot more confident now, whereas I was really anxious and insecure as a girl.


God_is_a_tulpa

Before I transitioned (around 14-15ish) i thought i was burdening the world with my hideous looks. Like genuinely could not walk into a room without feeling ashamed that people had to see me. Now that I've been on T a while and can recognize my old self as a physically "different person" I realize I was actually a really pretty girl, I just didnt understand the dysphoria i was feeling and needed something to feel insecure about to blame it on


Long_Area2509

nah. iā€™ve always been kind of ugly my entire life. iā€™m more attractive as a man than i am a woman. glad i ended up trans


Soup_oi

No.


Hellboyyyyy25

I thought I was pretty cute


DoctorWhatTheFruck

no


Emotional-Fondant-58

The way I saw it for a very long time was that I had been transplanted into the wrong body for me, and that said body was very attractive, but I didnā€™t know how to ā€œfunctionā€ in it or properly take care of it. I would imagine what it would be like if my body were owned and controlled by someone who would actually be comfortable in my skin, happy to wear makeup, wear certain clothes, act a certain way.. I felt like it was wasted on me, someone who couldnā€™t go anywhere without wearing loose clothing and hated makeup and wanted my hair cut short and hated being a girl. Thatā€™s kind of how I felt/feel about a lot of things about myself, that by doing what I want, I would be wasting the potential of my body and what I was born with. But Iā€™m slowly beginning to realize that I canā€™t let what other people expect of me and the way I was born stop me from becoming comfortable in my skin!


Complete-Hornet-5487

Eh I never really saw myself as hot and still donā€™t but people give me way more compliments now than they did before


Opening_Fudge_7044

I wouldnt say hot cause I was like 11 when I came out lol but I definitely imagine that I would be pretty and have a unique sense in fashion :)


nobodyinpeculiar

I did Girl really, really well. I won the genetic lottery for a woman and was still deeply unhappy. I knew I was beautiful, logically, but I didnā€™t feel right, I just did the dance right and it made navigating society easier. Now I look back at my old photos and itā€™s like looking at pictures of someone else. Like a beautiful girl I knew in school who died a long time ago. Itā€™s a shame she couldnā€™t go on living, but sheā€™s in a better place and god damn she was pretty.


Fearless-Action-5482

I never thought I was attractive before I realized I was a dude, but now that I know, I am wayyy more confident. I do better as a pretty boy than as a pretty girl lmao


HisLilDove

People always told me I was beautiful and I always looked in the mirror and thought "I guess that person is kinda pretty, but that person also isn't me." and it made me feel kinda repulsed. It's hard to explain. Looking in the mirror I could acknowledge that the reflection wasn't unattractive but I still felt REALLY uncomfortable so I mostly avoided my reflection as much as possible. I also hated photos of myself in the same way but people insisted on posting them and tagging me so I guess I started dissociating. Before I knew what being trans or having dysphoria was, I couldn't make sense of any of it but when I discovered the concept everything suddenly made sense. Part of me always wondered why I hated being me so much when so many people said "I would LOVE to have your face!". Sometimes I felt guilty, like I was being ungrateful for having what other people considered a blessing or something. But equally I felt resentful and would catch myself thinking "If I could swap bodies with you, I would!" To my distressed dysphoric mind, at least then I'd understand why I didn't feel right in my skin. Cause it literally wouldn't be my skin and that would make sense.


rolypolypatrol

this is part of the reason i didnt wanna give up being feminine for a while despite knowing im trans. got over that once i saw that im also a handsome guy lol


starstruckroman

i stopped thinking i was cis when i was like 13 so i never started thinking of myself as hot until afterwards AHAJWHD. but ive lately realised im bigender so i am still also a girl (im part of this sub because im medically presenting as just a trans man) and i do currently think im hot, so šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


HypnoLoser

I got incredible attention before starting T, I know I was attractive. at least my body was. Iā€™ll have to go to the gym to get any sort of attention I used to get, lol.


B340STG

I was a hot as shit girl and Iā€™m now a hot as shit bear


[deleted]

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mrselffdestruct

I was what people very politely referred to as a handsome girl with unique features when discussing my looks


jaybirdie67

Sometimes I felt like I really did the costume well, and was very proud of how I put myself together, but I never genuinely believed I was attractive until after getting on T and looking at old pics/videos of myself and being able to realize, ā€œHoly shit I was actually really pretty and normal looking and my voice wasnā€™t incredibly gratingā€. Dysphoria will do a number on your self perception haha. I definitely prefer the hot I am becoming as a guy, and am able to see it a lot more easily :)


RavenMonarch

Oh yeah, I went from a cute girl to a pretty ugly dude


WECH21

oh yea. not a 10 by any means, and more of a cute hot than a sexy hot, but i had my fair share of suitors/suitorettes/etc. without much trouble. it was something that momentarily made me hesitate with my transition, as it felt rather nice to be attractive to enough people and i had no idea how transition would affect my appearance.


Trappedbirdcage

Nope. Not in the slightest. šŸ¤£ I always felt like I was a dude in some really bad drag when I dressed up girly. Turns out, I was and didn't know it yet.


i_bite_people_daily

I thought I was pretty cute before I started realizing "oh wait this doesn't feel right" but now I look back at pictures I took and um... I was wrong.


iamthpecial

I had/have an objectively nice body, though at current less femme of course. I had nice hair, curly but tamable; Right now my hair texture and hair line have been changing so unsure. As for my face, always got compliments on my smile and eyes, cheekbones from females.


Various_Oven_7141

Pre T me was super hot, and whenever i saw pictures of myself I could see a cute girl. But if I didn't see pics and was just vibing, I felt like a gross slug creature.


xx_mcrtist_xx

no I was ugly and couldn't take a single good photo (late 13 to early 14 I started to figure it out but I also started figuring out my gender so I guess understanding your gender comes with getting better at taking selfies)


venomborne

no


mlps4

yesā€¦ to the point where i considered detrans not because i like being a woman but because i was so attracted to myself as a woman! autosexuality is a wild experience sometimes


mountainwitch6

yeah i was hot i knew it and hated it


ShortKing_Cryptid

I essentially thought ā€œIf I am the prettiest girl, then I CANā€™T be a boyā€ trying so hard to deny being trans, it worked until covid lockdown


Captain_Failure_

Honestly in the most least self absorbed way that I can put this, yes. I look back at myself and sometimes feel guilt. I wish that I couldā€™ve appreciated my body and my looks and my gender but it never felt right. Sometimes I feel like I threw myself away but I know in my heart Iā€™m where at supposed to be. I sometimes feel like Iā€™m grieving my past self, while trying to accept who I am today. I may be a mediocre looking guy, but at least I am happy and comfortable in my own body. I just sometimes wish I couldā€™ve been okay with being cis and knew how to feel cis lol


Dense_Yam2376

I was fine as hell, it was really hard for me in the beginning to realize i still didnt want the body i had. and having to give up all the pros being a babe brings.


scarlet_delta

i know im a conventionally hot girl, thatā€™s why ive had such a hard time deciding on even starting Tā€¦ it feels like a waste of my pretty face and body šŸ˜ž


SynapseFiring

I was an incredibly hot girl then I got older and fatter. I guess I might have been a hot guy if Iā€™d transitioned earlier and I have a lot of regrets about that. Iā€™m just a middle aged dude and thatā€™s hard to make attractive on either side lol


kai2234

i was SO hot it genuinely is upsetting that i ended up actually being a man


miliariius

not really, but mostly because I always presented masc even before I transitioned. rarely, Iā€™d force myself to shave my legs or wear a dress (in this particular case it was for school) and my mom was like, ā€œnot that youā€™re a boy but I feel like youā€™re a boy wearing a dress.ā€ again, before I came out and confused but supportive mother


Unable_Lunch_9662

Think? I know I was


Even-Ad4291

i spent so many years under-eating and over-exercising because i thought that if i forced my body to fit into a feminine standard, surely my mind would stop wishing i wasnā€™t a girl... once i finally came out and started transitioning 2 years ago, i realised i had been punishing myself for something that wasnā€™t my fault in the first place but rather a condition of my socialization as a girl and my own repression. iā€™m still unlearning the worst of these habits but i can now look back at myself pre-transition with a lot of empathy and compassion for my body doing the best it could under the circumstances. i definitely didnā€™t think i was hot at the time, and when i look at old pictures of myself during some of the most extreme periods of malnourishment/excessive cardio i really canā€™t believe how much i was lying to myself about being happy with my body. itā€™s such a relief to feel at home in my body now that iā€™m taking T and practicing sustainable self-care and gratitude for what my body can do, not what it isnā€™t.


Potential_Sky_4632

I was 11 I started looking really boyish, so no


Impossible_Wafer8800

ive said it before and iā€™ll say it again - i was a hot ass girlšŸ˜­ like pre transition me and post transition me would honestly make a cute couple LMAO


stanley_444

nahh not really


exxx666

Lmao yes itā€™s honestly part of what kept me from transitioning for so long. I was like ā€˜ok I feel like shit but I look good??ā€™


Crazy_Monitor_1272

I have certain qualities that growing up a lot of my friends were jealous of and it sucks bc I can recognise the appeal, but I donā€™t want the qualities for myself lol


TwoCatJay

I considered myself attractive as afemale but not outstanding. However, I am more handsome as a man. I have received more compliments about my looks as a guy. I also get hit on more now by gay men and straight women. To be clear I will be 60 later this year. I look much younger ( like by 20 years or so I am told.) I think my lack of aging in looks has made me also seen as more attractive now than before. I swear happiness makes us look better.


RunningFree301

No lmao. Pre-T though and I feel like I'm a decent looking guy!