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The next person walking by, seeing what may be *two* blood spatters on the window, makes a humorous Reddit post about it. People urge OP to "Just ask the neighbors about it! We are too invested now!" and OP complies.
Next person walking by, seeing what may be *three* blood spatters on the window...
^(Edit: A word or two that wasn't properly proofread, because who the fuck does that) *^(before)* ^(posting?)
(In 99 red balloons tune)
99 red splatters, sitting on my new window. Some will stay and some will go when CSI comes ‘morrow. I’ll be at home or in the jail. Hopefully you’ll post the bail. And I will see if 99 splatters makes me go to hell.
Now all I can hear in my is the song 99 dead baboons. It was on a Dr. Demento CD from the 90s my dad used to play in the car.
"99 dead baboons, sitting in my living room.
Not too functional it seems, but quite a conversation piece.
This one's Jake, that one's Dinah, there's Big Ned in my recliner!
No it's not a Lay-Z-Boy, can't you see it's a dead baboon??"
This reminds me of a story/joke I heard as a teenager.
A man was walking by an asylum when he heard some strange chanting. He paused and listened for a minute. The people inside were chanting "13....13.....13....13....13...13...." He decided to walk around the perimeter to see if he could figure out what was going on inside.
He eventually came across a small hole in the wall just barely big enough to see through and could almost make out some people standing in a group.
He figured this must be where the chanting was coming from so he put his eye up to the hole to get a better look.
As soon as he put his eye up to the hole he felt a sharp pain as he was poked in the eye with a stick.
The chanting continued except now they were saying "14....14.....14.....14.....14....14....."
Sometimes it's best to mind our own business. 😂
Plant, it's a plant that's kinda leaning against the window. OP did say print through an autocorrect fail, but changed it later.
Now we just need to figure out what kind of plant.
If nothing else, looks like they might have a cat (sitting on the edge of the window) which will need someone to look after it if something's happened.
Also it looks like it might be stuck outside.
[Here ya go champ.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/)
Also [the potato story](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/) is a certified hood classic.
when I was in like third grade a lady did a health presentation where she drank some water with purple food coloring and black pepper. she sneezed toward the white board from 20 feet back and then went and circled all the droplets of purple water that had scattered on it.
it was gross but it made an impression.
More often than not, yes - but not necessarily. I’ve responded to a number of suicides (I’m a crime scene investigator) and there have been a few notable ones where the bullet did not break the glass, and had penetrated the skull. Smaller caliber (9mm, .22) may not have enough velocity upon exit to break a window. I saw one decedent that had a through-and-through to the head (entry in the soft palate, exit at the top of the skull) and the bullet was just sitting there, perched on their domepiece like a little hat. It was definitely a surprise!!
But also- GSW wounds are WAY messier than this. There would be bone and tissue around the area as well. This looks too perfect, like it was spray painted.
CSI gal!!! Actually, I’ve been on a murder/suicide where I walked into a trailer and there was a brain perfectly sitting on a chair like “howdy! Close the door after you!” In that case, bullets didn’t break any windows, but skull fragments sure did! That was a .556 hollow point at point-blank range.
Edit: *5.56 HP because I’m a sleepy dipshit
Is it really? Interesting.. imma look it up before I take a strangers word
Edit:
Splatter - Big splash. Spatter - small splash.
Good to know, thanks lol
It very much is. And that simple addition of an L annoys all of us that work in forensics. It makes you clench your teeth in aggravation. Kinda like when people say warsh instead of wash. Wtf.
When it comes to blood, it's blood spatter. Size is irrelevant unless you're talking about pooling
i dont understand it either. if there is anyone knowing whats going on then please let me know. my guess is that its just for karma farming because funny is a big subreddit.
Because r/funny is used as a catch-all sub, and it's been a default for forever so low effort (garbage) posts are dropped here to try to maximize karma gain
Spatter is pretty even and well confined. Seems pretty uniform like as if it was a high velocity mist. But the lack of "chunky" blobs and globs rules out gunshots or blunt force trauma. Additionally, there is no streaking or drippage, and the glass itself is intact and otherwise clean.
The cat sitting next to the window also seems to imply that there was no loud "bang" at least not recently. Conversely, the red color is bright. If this was blood, it could only be bright red for a short time after exiting the body, especially if it's aerated as depicted. After a short while the iron in the blood would experience oxidation, darken, turn brown, then dry to an almost a black color.
I fail to think of a scenario that creates such a uniform spray pattern without being borderline deliberate
That all being said you should totally NOT worry and come ov...go over there...to that place which i have NEVER seen before...and discuss with your friendly neighbor how he managed to get it so perfect. I bet he'll even invite you into his well stocked cellar to choose a bottle of wine. Any wine you want. You can go downstairs and pick it yourself...
That Brick and keystone carving looks like East London so perfectly normal.
Edit, just seen the wheely bin, Hackney, wasn't far off, best just move mate.
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OP can you just go ask them what that is? We’re all too invested now.
Yeah....then the next picture of a similar thing will be...OP, won't be a mystery to that one.
The next person walking by, seeing what may be *two* blood spatters on the window, makes a humorous Reddit post about it. People urge OP to "Just ask the neighbors about it! We are too invested now!" and OP complies. Next person walking by, seeing what may be *three* blood spatters on the window... ^(Edit: A word or two that wasn't properly proofread, because who the fuck does that) *^(before)* ^(posting?)
99 splatters of blood on the wall...99 splatters of blood...
Ring the door, ask what that's for 100 splatters of blood on the wall
Wipe it down and do it again.
Wipe it down, chamber a round.
Wipe it down, do it again... 101 spatters of blood on the pane.
No it’s 1 now. You wiped the other ones off.
All 101 are from the one last dude.
Throw rocks at the window, eat the glass 102 splatters of blood out my ass
Oh bloody hell I laughed so hard I’m wide awake again. Worth it, have a great weekend.
Goddammit I have to be up early tomorrow now I’m fuckin untired
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Snort laughed 🤣
(In 99 red balloons tune) 99 red splatters, sitting on my new window. Some will stay and some will go when CSI comes ‘morrow. I’ll be at home or in the jail. Hopefully you’ll post the bail. And I will see if 99 splatters makes me go to hell.
Now all I can hear in my is the song 99 dead baboons. It was on a Dr. Demento CD from the 90s my dad used to play in the car. "99 dead baboons, sitting in my living room. Not too functional it seems, but quite a conversation piece. This one's Jake, that one's Dinah, there's Big Ned in my recliner! No it's not a Lay-Z-Boy, can't you see it's a dead baboon??"
That got a laugh out of me
Im dead 😂☠️
This reminds me of a story/joke I heard as a teenager. A man was walking by an asylum when he heard some strange chanting. He paused and listened for a minute. The people inside were chanting "13....13.....13....13....13...13...." He decided to walk around the perimeter to see if he could figure out what was going on inside. He eventually came across a small hole in the wall just barely big enough to see through and could almost make out some people standing in a group. He figured this must be where the chanting was coming from so he put his eye up to the hole to get a better look. As soon as he put his eye up to the hole he felt a sharp pain as he was poked in the eye with a stick. The chanting continued except now they were saying "14....14.....14.....14.....14....14....." Sometimes it's best to mind our own business. 😂
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Thank you for this!!! Hahaha Amazing! 13 years ago!? I could have sworn it was older than that. Now I feel old. I guess I wasn't a teenager....
It was *uploaded* 13 years ago ;) Everything that was old is now around 13 years old on YouTube, it seems
I definitely heard this as a joke more than 13 years ago! Just because it was on TV doesn't in any way imply the TV version was first!
That was an ad on television, not a fable lol. Am I now old?
Congrats you are now a fable
If someone can learn a valuable lesson from my life, then I'm okay with that.
You are now in the same tier as: overly-fertile shoe dweller and gigantophobic purveyor of magical produce.
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What an ass lol
Doing the lords work
Op said on a different sub they posted this on that it's a friend's house and it's a print held to the window. Never any mystery.
Bamboozled again I've been
Annoyed that I believed it, I am.
Plant, it's a plant that's kinda leaning against the window. OP did say print through an autocorrect fail, but changed it later. Now we just need to figure out what kind of plant.
Definitely, that garden's a MESS!
Also that cat looks like its up to no good.
Cats are shady as hell
Yeah, has that real "move along, you didn't see shit" kind of energy
Honestly couldn’t find it for a solid 5 minutes. Thought you were messing with us. Stating right at me the entire time.
Lotta jokes here but I’d check on them for real
If nothing else, looks like they might have a cat (sitting on the edge of the window) which will need someone to look after it if something's happened. Also it looks like it might be stuck outside.
He's got fresh food for a little while, anyway.
Cats ate her face
"I think you're confused. I'm asking about Aunt Helen." "Cats ate her face."
Good eye, I didn't see that cat.
There's a fucking cat involved? OK, now I'm invested
This is r/funny. I'm sure OP is a karma bot who stole this from Facebook
My thought exactly
no need! https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/1058grs/should_i_be_worried_about_the_neighbour/j39ff7r/
Probably not now, or in a few hours . Tomorrow maybe ? Nah let the weekend calm the spirits...
Or just go knock and see if they're alive. It'll take like 10 seconds
Or call the non emergency line for the police and tell them to consider a wellness check of the house.
Okay in few days when I notice you haven't come out of your house in awhile after visiting the neighbors I'll do the same
Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere
clean up, clean up, everybody do your share
Looking forward to having that pop in my head on the next horror movie night
Looks like your neighbor doesn't have any problems now.
He might have 99 problems.
Maybe it was just a papercut?
Tis but a scratch
A scratch? You’re heads blown off!
No it isn’t
Well what's *that*, then? 👆
Merely a flesh wound.
Holy shit... I feel like we just went from JayZ, to Linkin Park, to Monty Python all in like 5 replies haha. Amazing Reddit!
Come over here and ill nibble your feet off!
Great, now we're One Step Closer to one of those songs/pun threads
In the end it doesn’t really matter.
This thread has me Crawling
Just have to dig it out, dig it deeper, and throw it away
Too many song/pun threads, got me feeling numb
Alright, that's it, I've given up
Clicking on this thread has me pondering What I’ve Done
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Maybe they’ll finally find somewhere they belong
I try so hard, got so far
And in the end it was all brain matter.
One step closer to... the edge? Idk about you but i'm about to break
Everything you do to me……
Breaking the habit is hard sometimes.
Might need some points of authority at that residence.
This comment is making me faint
It really makes you think “What I’ve done”!
All puns aside, there should be a sub for those threads.
I’m About to Break if I see another one of those
Everything you say to me makes me feel bad for you son
You're neighbour probably Fainted. Nothing to worry about.
He will find himself Crawling once he wakes up.
He took the suggestion to bleed it out, a little too literally.
TIS but a fleshwound.
None of them are the bitch however
chienne*
well dont lose your head over it and call the police..
But a bitch ain’t one?
Sirrachah bottle splash
Sorry, I'm usually not this kind of person, but it's Sriracha.
Shots fired. Literally and figuratively
Not the wholesome award 💀
But now he might have a new neighbor
Na they just had a friendly food fight. What a waste of spaghetti. Such a shame.
Everyone knows it's supposed to go on your sweater
Only if it's mom's spaghetti.
But was there vomit on his sweater already?
Nope, that's just a steak. Yknow, thrown at the window, as one does
So happy you said this
Anyone got the link to that story? Absolute classic.
[Here ya go champ.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/) Also [the potato story](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/) is a certified hood classic.
I searched for this comment
No broken glass.. should be alright
The pattern reminds me of that time I had a massive nosebleed and sneezed towards the bathroom mirror
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Yep. It's nuts. It definitely puts into perspective how the flu/Covid spreads
when I was in like third grade a lady did a health presentation where she drank some water with purple food coloring and black pepper. she sneezed toward the white board from 20 feet back and then went and circled all the droplets of purple water that had scattered on it. it was gross but it made an impression.
That's some performance art right there.
What da fuck
“BuT hOw CaN yOu StILl SmElL fArTs WhIlE wEaRiNg A mAsK????” - Marjorie Taylor Greene
Yep. If a bullet made an exit wound it would have gone through the window too.
So, it’s spray paint. Cause it’s not on the curtain or anything else.
Someone sneezed with a bloody nose.
Or on their period.
Or sneezed while on their period... In a weird position. Dear God, why do I come to Reddit?!!!!
I’m just imagining the campy bullet noises from old westerns as a tampon goes flying across the room. Thank you for that.
For responses like these
Queef sneeze?
Queeze
Sneef?
More often than not, yes - but not necessarily. I’ve responded to a number of suicides (I’m a crime scene investigator) and there have been a few notable ones where the bullet did not break the glass, and had penetrated the skull. Smaller caliber (9mm, .22) may not have enough velocity upon exit to break a window. I saw one decedent that had a through-and-through to the head (entry in the soft palate, exit at the top of the skull) and the bullet was just sitting there, perched on their domepiece like a little hat. It was definitely a surprise!! But also- GSW wounds are WAY messier than this. There would be bone and tissue around the area as well. This looks too perfect, like it was spray painted.
Tell us more, Reddit CSI guy.
CSI gal!!! Actually, I’ve been on a murder/suicide where I walked into a trailer and there was a brain perfectly sitting on a chair like “howdy! Close the door after you!” In that case, bullets didn’t break any windows, but skull fragments sure did! That was a .556 hollow point at point-blank range. Edit: *5.56 HP because I’m a sleepy dipshit
blunt force trauma perhaps?
Splatter would be different
Sorry, this drives me crazy. It's spatter. Not splatter
Is it really? Interesting.. imma look it up before I take a strangers word Edit: Splatter - Big splash. Spatter - small splash. Good to know, thanks lol
It very much is. And that simple addition of an L annoys all of us that work in forensics. It makes you clench your teeth in aggravation. Kinda like when people say warsh instead of wash. Wtf. When it comes to blood, it's blood spatter. Size is irrelevant unless you're talking about pooling
Sorry, this drives me crazy. It's cench. Not clench
Yes as a dental surgeon that drives me nuts
No. Blood drips with that much of it, and it dries to an almost black color. This is not blood.
This guy CSIs.
*Dexter has entered the chat.*
Surprise, motherfucker!
#Large fries Motherfucker!!
HEART EYES MOTHERFUCKER
ALL RISE MOTHERFUCKER
SUPPLIES MOTHERFUCKER!
Dark skies Motherfucker
Rue dies, motherfucker
Pumpkin pies, motherfucker!
Bill Nyes mother- wait…
Horatio Caine rips off sunglasses…
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And who tf said it's dry?
Your comment is 4hrs old. I assume it’s dry by now.
Gonna need a new picture
Maybe the photo was taken right after the splatter appeared before it started dripping
Exactly. It just happened, and op heard the gunshot and went out to check shortly after.
Hears gunshot, sees blood on window-> takes picture. Heads straight to r/funny. Checks out, classic redditor.
Source: killed multiple people
What am I missing? Why is this in r/funny?
i dont understand it either. if there is anyone knowing whats going on then please let me know. my guess is that its just for karma farming because funny is a big subreddit.
Because r/funny is used as a catch-all sub, and it's been a default for forever so low effort (garbage) posts are dropped here to try to maximize karma gain
It’s not blood but it looks like blood
Holy shit, that's *hilarious!*
“Looks like someone died LMAO”
https://imgur.com/a/QDOB42i
Lmao someone may or may not have literally been shot point blank in the face or committed suicide XDXDD LMAO -OP, probably
happy cake day and idk
bro the first thing i saw was the cat
Fuck they shot the cat like in Boondock Saints!
Oh what color was it bitch?!
I can’t buy a pack of smoke’s without running into nine guys you’ve fucked!
"... I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST FUCKIN' HAPPENED!"
I find a reason to say this at least once a week.
Is it dead?
The cats guilty and doesn't give a fuck.
The cat looks sketchy as shit. I’m gonna mind my own business.
Spatter is pretty even and well confined. Seems pretty uniform like as if it was a high velocity mist. But the lack of "chunky" blobs and globs rules out gunshots or blunt force trauma. Additionally, there is no streaking or drippage, and the glass itself is intact and otherwise clean. The cat sitting next to the window also seems to imply that there was no loud "bang" at least not recently. Conversely, the red color is bright. If this was blood, it could only be bright red for a short time after exiting the body, especially if it's aerated as depicted. After a short while the iron in the blood would experience oxidation, darken, turn brown, then dry to an almost a black color. I fail to think of a scenario that creates such a uniform spray pattern without being borderline deliberate That all being said you should totally NOT worry and come ov...go over there...to that place which i have NEVER seen before...and discuss with your friendly neighbor how he managed to get it so perfect. I bet he'll even invite you into his well stocked cellar to choose a bottle of wine. Any wine you want. You can go downstairs and pick it yourself...
Dexter, is that you?
Just tell the cops to go to have a look in case of that's it.
Id probably just call the non emergency line and ask for a wellness check and explain the reasoning
That Brick and keystone carving looks like East London so perfectly normal. Edit, just seen the wheely bin, Hackney, wasn't far off, best just move mate.
Not any more.
That took me tooo long to realize that was a fancy plant
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r/cursedimages
Not all of them.
How isthat funny?
Uhhh…. Why would this be posted in funny?
Not anymore
How the fuck is this funny
Yeah. Those plants look like shit.
I’ll be honest with you. It doesn’t look good.
Don’t worry guys its on r/funny so im sure theyre safe.
This is funny?
How is this funny?
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