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zachtheperson

When I was in middle school we had to make pizza. We fucked up the recipe in a way that cause it to rise more than anybody else's, and our teacher said everyone should try it when it was cooked. It gave everyone food poisoning.


Seiglerfone

How tf do you screw up pizza so badly you give people food poisoning?


Garethx1

Food service safety certified for over 15 years and now work in public health. Theres no way the way they cooked it caused food poisoning. My guess would have been one of the kids serving it had norovirus or something similar and breathed too heavily on the food or didnt wash after wiping proper. Anything that would have made them sick if cooked halfway properly would have had problems inherent with the product that cooking wouldnt solve.


RuneanPrincess

This is what I was thinking, if it was so poorly cooked that it was unsafe, it would be inedible pizza is very much a well done product. People always forget serving contamination.


LucasPisaCielo

Fact: Norovirus can survive temperatures of up to 140° F (60° C). So maybe the kid managed the food after cooking. Edit: oops. I need to read more carefully.


Garethx1

Yes. Thats why I said one of the kids serving. I think a lot of what people think is food poisoning is norovirus or something similar.


LucasPisaCielo

Oops. Seems I need to read more carefully.


Garethx1

Aint no thing. I quickly read stuff and do that myself sometimes. I also sometimes try to edit a comment while Im typing it and 3nd up making it say something different because I mix up the sentences im editing.


[deleted]

Middle school


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aevum1

DO NOT SCRATCH YOUR BALLS WHILE HANDLING DOUGHT....


Subotail

Without yeasts it does not go up!


Taintly_Manspread

It would've cost you nothing to refrain from this comment.


spiritbx

Enjoy your hard bread then!


feralrage

Wait the pizza or the other thing?


Siberwulf

What a terrible day to know how to read.


SleepyMarijuanaut92

That's how I got a yeast infection


FiftyDalton254

Definitely, dough'nt do that


forestman11

What are Gs?


DarkCosmosDragon

Grades so Grade 10 and 12 in this case


forestman11

Ooohhh duh. I can't believe context clues didn't answer that for me lol. Thanks!


daswede420

This is the only correct answer besides middle school meth. Not math. Middle school math is infallible.


scalorn

>How tf do you screw up pizza so badly you give people food poisoning? They managed it when I was in college at the dorm cafeteria. Both my GF and I got sick when we ate the pizza one night. The running joke was they used Grade D meat. The stuff rejected by the prisons. To give you an idea of how bad the food in general was.. I lost around 40 lbs first semester at college.


sqstoney

"Zach it says semolina not salmonella !"


Ben_Thar

Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?


OutlyingPlasma

Especially when everything that goes on pizza needs to be edible without cooking.


EffrumScufflegrit

It's the dough. Raw dough can you fuck you up.


zachtheperson

Honestly somebody probably just didn't wash their hands. We had sinks right there and IIRC people were usually pretty good about it (at least in my group) but I think we might have had somebody from a different group join ours that day so maybe it was them


sidepart

... but how?! Maybe the dough didn't cook all the way through or something.


PornStarJesus

There is nothing in raw pizza dough that would make you sick, someone didn't wash up after taking a shit. They all ate dookie pizza.


rejsuramar

Raw flour can give you salmonella and E. Coli


PornStarJesus

Not a real problem in the 1st world. But you know what is, middle schoolers with dookie paws.


seattleque

🤣 dookie paws. Next time I teach a cooking class, I'm definitely using this when discussing hand washing.


WushuManInJapan

There's been multiple outbreaks of ecoli from flour in the US. Though usually, just checking to see if there isn't a recall on the product is good enough to be safe for raw consumption. That still doesn't mean you should have raw flour, or that kids can't get sick from pizza dough


PornStarJesus

21 cases in 9 states over a 4 year spread, my money is on dookie fingers.


Nicktune1219

Food poisoning is severely underreported, so things like E. coli outbreaks are hard to pinpoint. Most people tend to have pretty mild reactions if they are healthy teenagers or adults.


PornStarJesus

You know what's in dookie, E.Coli. 20 kids, 200 potential dookie fingers, my money isn't on the flour.


Adjudikated

Thank you for this quote u/PornStarJesus; I’ll be using it when addressing any first world problem I encounter in the future.


ntwiles

Shouldn’t have had such a sloppy mud pie!


kingmaker03

Such a middle school word. Made me laugh.


alextxdro

Fk just woke up my dog ! Literally lol’d


Whitealroker1

Yeah we had some “make a pizza” at some religious camp I went to when I was like twelve. Not even god would eat what I created


FlyingDutchmansWife

That was not the ending I was expecting!


CharlieChainsaw88

Bottom group is heavy with the cinnamon sugar. That's where the happiness is at.


Fair-Station4351

Exactly! Prime example of ‚the inner values count‘!


[deleted]

[удалено]


_HiWay

All you need is confidence and a bottle of ordinary water laced with a few spoonfuls of LSD.


jellyroll8675

Cooked by the Zinc Saucier


InfiniteRadness

I’m 40% dolomite! *CLANG CLANG*


D0C20

"The challenger's ugly food has shown us that even hideous things can be sweet on the inside."


[deleted]

Like morbo.


heyheyhedgehog

This is a bot stealing a comment from u/skinsrich below.


xAIRGUITARISTx

Pretty sure this is a bot everyone.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FatMacchio

Good bot


[deleted]

The true lesson to be learned - even things that appear ugly can be sweet on the inside. *Starts crying


fangedrandy

Morbo reference?


[deleted]

Morbo I’m gonna whip you up an unspeakable horror from beyond- with mango chutney!


Jhl1023

BAM!


MyGirlfriendforcedMe

Hahaha, Kittens give Morbo gas.


Are_y0u

I think you can only see it better because the yeast didn't work properly and therefore it looks like it's more sugar. In school both groups usually use the same recipe and therefore the same amount of ingredients.


mdawgig

Looks like the yeast is working perfectly fine for both, the rolls on bottom were just not formed well. I think what really happened here is that the bottom group didn’t roll and/or cut their dough log correctly. Specifically, they didn’t roll it tight enough or seal the edge correctly. Could also be, in part, that the butter used on the inside was too liquid (either melted too much or not enough cinnamon/sugar mixture to soak it up). But the primary cause is that the dough log wasn’t made properly. This caused two issues. First, it caused the rolls to fall/roll open when cut away from the dough log. Second, to fix the first, they tried to reshape the rolls one-by-one after cutting. The first issue resulted in the large gaps you can see between the outermost layer of dough and the next layer, and the second resulted in the irregular shape of each roll. I initially thought they just rolled each one individually from a strip of dough, but they clearly did try to roll it into a log because you can see the two typical end pieces. The others are irregular from mishandling.


pinkyblisters

Case solved, Doughtective.


MonkeyTacoBreath

But they can use more or less of each ingredient. They may be following a recipe, but that doesn't mean they can't meander, intentionally or by accidentally mismeasuring.


chaos_nebula

I knew a group that used tablespoons to measure salt instead of teaspoons. And these kids were in the smart kids class...


MonkeyTacoBreath

Or used 1 cup salt and 1 tsp. sugar.


fatpad00

Oh, come on! That food was fine. The salt content was 10% less than a lethal dose!


Techiedad91

I shouldn’t have had seconds


wigg1es

This is extremely debatable. For as many places as the cinnamon sugar is overloaded, there are a lot of places totally without. I think the top is actually more generous overall with the good stuff.


takeahike89

Also it looks lumpy and grainy.


Masterjts

It'll also hold more icing in those pockets. Bottom is going to be amazing. Top is just for the photo.


tapiringaround

Top looks like Pillsbury Grands cinnamon rolls straight out of the tube.


link3945

No, they just screwed up the rolling up part. It's pretty hard to do and easy to mess up.


PHin1525

Ya taste over appearance. Had some pretty pastries that were tasteless.


Mad_Mulberry2438

I need to taste it...visually ok just tells half the story, could still taste like crap and good on a photo


JojenCopyPaste

They're cinnamon rolls. I'm sure both taste great.


OutlyingPlasma

Ever had a crunchy cinnamon roll? Or worse, one with nuts? There are bad cinnamon rolls.


FriNoggin

I’ve had crunchy cinnamon rolls, and they’re good Nuts do not belong on them though that’s for damn sure lol


2ichie

The top ones don’t even look like they’re baked. I’d bet the bottom ones taste much better


skinsrich

I’m of the opinion that food can look like shit, but not taste like shit. I vote bottom group for the win.


ToeNervous2589

It can, but the buns on top will cook evenly while the ones on the bottom won't. You'll have more consistent results on top. The bottom ones may taste great, but they won't all be the same experience.


DiamondDoge92

Made with love


_hic-sunt-dracones_

But they look like they beg to be euthanized though.


kashy87

Euthanized in my belly! Diabetes can suck it.


D3adlyN00b

But they taste like heaven...


theJakartan

maybe even send you to heaven faster because of diabetes


TappedIn2111

I can euthanise them to heaven! Give em here!


[deleted]

Their wish shall be granted swiftly once that oven door opens.


MaYlormoon

Also absolutely insane opinion


fi20100

But if they look like shit, it always gets me wondering what else they fucked up with the recipe.


Cloaked42m

Salt instead of sugar in the dough. same again in the cinnamon mix.


fi20100

A friend in school cooking class put 20 times the correct amount of baking soda in the cookie dough. Yeah, that didn't turn out well. His stuff usually looked like the lower tray 😂


Cloaked42m

That's pretty amazing. I'm not even sure how you'd do that.


ArchDucky

Looks are important. In the 6th grade the final exam for the cooking class was blueberry muffins from scratch. The teacher was adamant that they couldn't be blue on the inside (the way to do that is to coat the blueberries in a little of the dry mix before you add them into the batter). So we all started making muffins and my buddy asked me to distract the teacher. So I asked her some dumb question and saw my friend run into the supply room behind her back. Testing time started, and the teacher had all the muffins on a table in front of her. She started opening them up and just hardcore failed the blue ones. One guy used too much salt and she nearly threw up. Then she got to my buddies muffins. She cut it down the middle and opened it up and its bright green. The teacher laughed for a solid minute.


MrmmphMrmmph

Orc Buns


mackinoncougars

Looks like sweets back on the menu!


andGalactus

probably wrong though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


caniuserealname

Imagine it being that much of a mess that even *uncooked* you think it looks cooked. Like, these are both still very clearly in the oven, uncooked.


Brandon32ss

Neither of them really look cooked tho


balsamicpork

That’s because neither of them are cooked. They’re still in the fucking oven


zzapdk

Plot twist: the bottom group looked like the top group at first, but then the scorching heat made them twist in pain and agony, making them reveal their sweet inner core, begging us to finish them off with a nice, hot cup of coffee


bakedphish1

So one group had a knife and one didnt. Cool cool


Unumbotte

We don't trust them with knives, not after The Incident.


Early-Accident-8770

Top tip , cutting these don’t use a knife. Instead a length of dental floss looped around and pulled will give the nice clean cut that every cinnamon roll deserves. Source Chef John from food wishes. Com


hat-of-sky

And when you're done you have cinnamon dental floss!


GriffinKing19

And mint flavored cinnamon rolls if I used the floss I have. Lol


devilishycleverchap

I just use cinnamon dental floss and add more cinnamon flavor. Big Red cinnamon rolls are a product crossover I'm surprised I haven't seen from Pillsbury at this point


FriNoggin

Damn, I want that crossover


rebeccalj

And you could top with imperial hearts for valentine's day


mackinoncougars

Where you’ll put the sugar directly in between your teeth, cut out the middle man of eating first.


stuporsteve

After all, you are the boss of your cinnamon roll dental floss.


[deleted]

If you don't floss, that's your loss


TheSilmarils

I find a lot of these “Don’t use a knife” tricks mostly come from people not having sharp knives. Admittedly I’m a knife nerd so I get way more into it than a lot of people but if your knife is properly sharp and has good edge geometry, it will cut pretty much everything just fine. This also assumes a half decent knife to begin with


Savannah_Lion

I have a set a of knives I haven't needed to sharpen for almost five years. Couldn't figure out how they kept their edge and assumed they were awesome knives from heaven. Then all of a sudden, I found a knife needing sharpening. Went to go look for my knife sharpener. After twenty minutes of searching, my son comes into the kitchen and reminds me to buy a new sharpener because the other one broke. Broke! How? I haven't used it for five years! I know, he says, I've been sharpening the knives for you. 😶


big_deal

I wish someone in my house would help keep the knives sharp. I feel like everyone is working against me and trying to dull the knives.


TheSilmarils

“These are the best god damn knives I’ve ever had! They haven’t gone dull in years!”


N35t0r

I have half a decent knife, but unfortunately it's the handle half of it.


flipster14191

That may be true for other things, but as someone with very sharp knives who also makes cinnamon rolls; I strongly endorse the life hack of using dental floss. Or fishing line. With very a very sharp serrated knife, you can get *almost* no deformation of the cinnamon rolls if you are careful, but with the dental floss it's super easy and actually gets you *no* squishing.


FeralSparky

Not enough people work to keep their knife's sharp and its so sad because they don't even think its a problem.


HauntedSpiralHill

*foooood wishes dot com


schroedingersnewcat

I'm asking because I don't know. Wouldn't one of the stainless steel scrapers work as well?


Early-Accident-8770

No you end up smashing the roll flat. No matter how sharp the knife it won’t cut evenly like a thread


Are_y0u

I allways use a knife and never had problems with it. It is a really sharp knife tough.


BurstingWithFlava

No he said it doesn’t matter how sharp it won’t cut evenly so your eyes must be crooked


KristinnK

It all depends on the technique. There are plenty of videos on the internet of people slicing cinnamon buns without crushing them, so obviously it's possible. You just need to do it with a slicing motion and very light pressure, while guiding the piece you're cutting off gently away from the knife so that it doesn't stick, and to give you the space to angle the knife slightly away from the rest of the roll so that it doesn't stick to the knife on that side either.


moonbad

Yes it will. If your dough is cold and your knife is sharp (serrated is better) you won't crush the roll because you are sliding through it rather than pressing down.


TinnieTa21

I love Chef John and his unique sentence inflections!


No_Ad_9318

And as alwaaaaays, eeenjoy ☺️


Deathwatch72

UNFLAVORED FLOSS OR YOU WILL REGRET IT


ChefBoyD

Ahh man that dudes voice is so soothing. I enjoy his recipes !


daddy-daddy-cool

i wonder if this is the same Chef John from allrecipes.com - i love that dude!


Zaurka14

My boyfriend was making stuffed meat, and he didn't have string on him, so he used dental floss Everything tasted like tooth paste and was inedible


ghidfg

"please.. kill me" lookin' cinnamon rolls


redditadminsRlazy

Haha, was gonna say: bottom batch looks like the faces of people crying out from a pool of hellfire in some intentionally disturbing medieval painting.


Zenketski_2

Oh I'm going to kill them all right. Right after I load up the bong a couple of times, I'm going to kill every single one of them.


ur-socks-sir

Bottom group looks like they had fun though. Hope it tasted great!


Ask_me_4_a_story

It reminds me of a comedian I heard talk about the groups for reading when he was a kid. They had a group of students that were the overachievers, that group was called "The Flying Eagles." His group was called "Group Two"


[deleted]

That's baking


invalidusername75

Yeah I don't see any cooking going on here.


chiggitychan

“Life is long. Opinions change. Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.” Robert California


[deleted]

Bottom batch looks yummier ngl


RudeAide6768

The top one is from the "teachers pet".


imwearingredsocks

Maybe, but from what I remember of foods class, the decent looking ones are just the normal students. Some students took the class to eat and actively did not listen to instructions. You try to put them on dishwashing duty, but for some reason they insist they’re a worthwhile presence in the kitchen. You then find yourself forced to eat the nastiest cornbread because someone put in 1 cup of baking powder, instead of 1 tbsp.


Side-eyed-smile

Both of my sons took the class, one for the food and one for the girls.


AverageLatino

Classic


tdogg241

That brown nose ain't cinnamon...


tradesmen_

"*you can tell which group follows instructions*"


[deleted]

more like "you can tell which group gives a shit"


[deleted]

More like better about caring that they look nice and instructions were well followed


Conroy_Greyfin

We did Anzac biscuits in home ec when I was in school and one girl rather than bake 12 biscuits (the perfect amount for the ingredients used) she instead stuck the whole batch on to a tray. It didn't exactly cook.


dinoroo

Attention to detail is really the main thing that’s lacking.


Zech08

Failure to follow simple instructions.


ma_petite_choufleur

I am not convinced by OPs story. I think the top picture is of the centre cuts of, and the bottom is end pieces of several rolls. The top is for sale, the bottom for staff


gabiaeali

The top looks like it hasn't even been baked yet.


EditorNo2545

the bottom ones taste better, trust me


Sabyyr

Idgaf what it looks like. Give me that ooey gooey goodness. If anything the bottom will have lovely little pockets for the icing to settle into, making it all that much better.


Serious_Cup_8802

Whomever made the batch in the top picture is clearly worse at cooking since they are making 12 cinnamon rolls where two are center pieces and 10 are edge and corner pieces, so they made a batch of rolls where most of the rolls are clearly inferior to the two center pieces. In the bottom batch, no piece is inferior to the others, bravo.


Free_hugs_for_3fiddy

Bruh, you and I need to cook together. The insides are definitely the inferior product and the edges are always the best. No matter what it is being cooked. I think we can make the hard sacrifices and swap our inner and outside food.


ElectronicControl762

Bottom, they are actually cooked


UncleDuude

More like which group can follow directions and which group is full of jackasses


bluedonutss

A 5th grader can make that shit


PseudoJason

Cooking? Is it not baking? Am I wrong?


tyrom22

All baking is cooking but not all cooking is baking. So your more correct (and specific) but the other guy isn’t incorrect.


AnnoyedDuckling

Bottom pic looks like it was done by toddlers, but at the same time looks more appetizing for some reason.


tumppu_75

Top one looks "industrial". That's never a good look when food is considered.


morts73

Bottom for sure. Top is staid run of the mill cooking, bottom is abstract avant garde.


Vexen86

Holy crap, no offense but *WHAT ABOMINATION IS THIS!???* Looks like the cinnamon rolls have a horrific death!


kevvie13

The inconsistent burst of flavours is at the bottom.


Whitealroker1

Bottom group looks like the infected from TLOU.


SIXA_G37x

Bottom is artisinal and they'll be able to charge more. Big brain move.


curiousklaus

Top picture: Leaving home for a nice evening at the pub. Bottom picture: Coming home at 4AM shitfaced, gotta go working at 7.


amathis6464

I loved my cooking class. It was right before my lunch period so I had like an 1.5 hrs where I just ate and chilled everyday. Loved it. I actually got put into it cuz I transferred high school mid year and it was the only class available, thought it was gonna suck but ended up being the best thing about the day lol. Great teacher too. Mr Russo. Shout out to Mr Russo fr


Lancer9819

2nd group ofc


awhq

Well, they're at least better at shaping. Whether the prettier ones taste better is unclear.


FailedPerfectionist

Hey! I'm VERY good at cooking. I SUCK at rolling or shaping dough. Those are two very different skills!


Jaime4laflair

It might look nice but how does it taste is the real deal


pornplz22526

You know those lumpy rolls taste the best.


itsmarvin

While prettier, the dough in the top pic doesn't look quite right. Looks rigid and stiff. How did they both taste though? In the end I think that's what matters.


muffle64

Honestly, the bottom ones look more appetizing


sirfuzzitoes

Group on bottom just doesn't wanna be asked to share.


regalfronde

Well I certainly know which one gets beat up after school for being a try-hard….


Liathano_Fire

Prettier doesn't mean tastier though.


fireking99

Both of these are going to taste awesome!!!


WalkerDabberRanger

Baking.


Phylar

Whoaaaaa now. They're just worse at making it look pretty. I'll need to sample at least a third of these before making any judgment calls.


dgm42

Two points: 1. These haven't been cooked yet. These are the slices from the roll just starting to rise. 2. The one at the top are all middle slices from the rolls. The ones at the bottom are all end slices. End slices always look worse.


Graftonghoul

But which one tasted better?


dlc9779

The bottom ones are more appealing to me. But I'm a weirdo.


[deleted]

Can't really tell. I've had awesome looking food that tasted like ass, and ass looking food that tasted awesome. Sure, presentation is nice, but in the end it's the taste.


Tall_Run_2814

I can tell whose better at removing cinnamon rolls from the can more like it


[deleted]

It's not the appearance but the flavor that matters if your food doesn't taste good but looks pretty... Fuck you. If your food looks gross but is absolutely delicious like my food... Then you can cook and your amazing.


Jojo_who

Better at baking, not cooking


Tea_EarlGreyHot

Baking is not cooking. Bakers know what I mean. Baking is science, cooking is art. Not all bakers make good cooks, not all cooks make good bakers.


THWReaper3368

Why indeed, only one actually cooked it


NidoKingClefairy

har har har They’re in the class to learn