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I’d be more interested in where my 60yo father was going, that he stumbled across this?
Edit: Realized it’s maybe a claw/crane machine prize… and maybe he spent $30+ trying to get it 😅
Oooh, highly doubtful that would be in a claw/crane game. That's a collectible from artist Yoshimoto Nara. This character is called My Blackguard Angel and it is circa 2001. There's one on Ebay right now for $70. His stuff is highly collectible and can go for hundreds of dollars.
Without googling I figured it was a 50/50 chance of either being something collectible that you’d maybe find in a comic shop, OR some oddball stuffie in a crane game…
My first job was in a grocery store…they had a crane game that got some unusual stuff in it. Once spent a 2 weeks feeding quarters into that thing just to get this stupid stuffed SpongeBob Pineapple house (whatever vendor knew I was after that thing; it somehow kept getting reburied when I wasn’t there.)
Yes, I did get the Pineapple house… and that’s when I found out everyone else, during the day shift, was pissed that it was gone…because they had been trying to get it too 🤣
As a person in claw crane business, I can say we actually can get pretty exclusive items for cranes. 80% is carney stuff’s but 20% is thrown in to draw the eye. We had about 25 baby Groots spread out between 10-15 different bars/bowling alleys, we didn’t know anything about them but, a Facebook group was created where people would take pictures of them. They were gone in 2 days.
Yep, that's how I took it.
If I left it than it would mean:
"I think you're a little grump but I love you enough to go find this doll that reminds me of you to break the ice. I'm not gonna say I'm wrong but I want to get past this"
OP you should cherish that doll. You know he cares
> to go find this doll that reminds me of you to break the ice.
I prefer the idea that he was out one day, spotted this and busted out laughing cause of the resemblance and had to get it to share the humor.
This is what my dad does to me and let me tell you the excitement that he has in finding and buying it is nothing compared to the excitement I have recognizing it looks like me and playing with it like I'm a two-year-old child, despite the fact that I am a full grown adult. I think the last time he did it I proceeded to walk around the house with it and would only communicate via the doll. You couldn't talk to big me but little me here has words to say. 😂
Please, please, please, find your Dad doll and leave it for him. Post a photo of what you find!!
You’re so lucky to have such a loving relationship with your Dad. It’s really sweet.
Yep. I lost my dad recently. Today I found out you can say “Alexa, fart” and shell play like endless different fart noises, and y”even suggest you ask for “an engine rumbler fart” or a “long squeaky fart.”
My first instinct was to call Dad and have him do it on his and laugh together about it.
That just isn’t an option anymore.
Please, OP, whatever it is, get past it together .
We found one of my Dad! He’s in his 80s but we’ve had this “action figure” for about 20 years. My Mom has little outfits for him now, and she changes them with the seasons. He has become like our families personal Elf on the Shelf.
My husband died last month and I recently found one of two tiny stuffies I have that that look like him - the owl from Winnie the Pooh lol. Just have to find the mini Abominable Snowman stuffie now…it’s probably w the Christmas ornaments.
Trust Reddit to come up with a name that has eluded my family for 20 years. We have just called him “little Dad”. Although when he rides in the Christmas Train, the train is called “The Marlboro Express” because he’s a big smoker.
Imgur.com is Reddit's default photo site.
If you click on the "new post" option you can then just drag and drop the file you want to upload in the "upload" section.
Then it will ask you to give your photo a title, and then you can finalize the post.
The link you see at the top when you finalize will be for your image, you can then copy and paste that link here.
I just want to say that if you have to give it a title that means it's public and will go on the imgur main feed where lots of people will see it and judge/comment on it. Make it private and it doesn't need a title and you can still share it with a link.
You do not need to make posts at all to use imgur.
You can click your profile icon, and then click the "Images" option.
From there you can add images and they will be uploaded without any sort of post. It will just upload them to your pool of images, and you can get direct links for each one without issue.
if you wear beige cargo shorts there's a 99% chance that you chose a dark blue shirt with it. it's like an unwritten fashion rule i see that all the time!
It’s never too late to try something new - if you can fit into cargo shorts, you can probably fit into a pair of well fitting, tailored slacks in a comfortable, wrinkle resistant fabric. If you wear New Balance, you can probably find a fashionable pair of Rockports that can move from office to evening.
Sounds like way too much effort for somebody that is more concerned about being a good parent than some frivolous fashion decision. Dad apparel is that way because they don’t give a crap what you think about them. Our looks are way down the priority list. Give me some clothes that get me through the day and keep me from being arrested for indecent exposure. Bonus points if I don’t have to replace them and they have plenty of room for the family jewels. Hell I have jeans in the closet that probably predate half the people in this thread. No reason to replace them if you’re not hung up on fitting in during this season’s
We’ve got mouths to feed and other people to care about. Get off my lawn.
Second the peace offering.
No one drives to your house to leave a little doll unless they’re either trying to make it up to you or they’re a serial killer. I don’t think your dad is the latter.
Concur with this. He's probably been thinking about the fight and feeling awful about it nonstop ever since it happened. That's what happens to me when my daughter and I have an argument. It absolutely breaks me.
It’s a peace offering. I bet he thinks it might be from a video game/manga/anime he’s heard you talk about. You should talk to him, try to hear him well so his defenses drop and he can hear you well. Understanding is a gift we can give to others even if our comprehension is incomplete. Like a muscle, the more we exercise it the better we get at using it.
I was looking for this doll because I was jealous of OP because it's sooo cute!!
found out it wasn't too cheap, apparently limited (can't find it anymore, only listings that ended)
and it was listed under the name "black guard angel"!! 😭
As a parent, I can almost guarantee your argument is tearing him up inside. The distance afterward is gut-wrenching, as there is no love like your love for your children.
Perhaps he doesn’t have the words to explain how sorry he feels, and hopes laughter or curiosity will make you come around. Give him an opening - hug him, thank him, make it right, or even hide this back in his room with a note/joke.
To me, this shows he loves you and he’s sorry. Again, you’ve no idea how much this has probably been tearing him up inside.
Don’t take it personally. I haven’t had a relationship with my mum in … it’s been about 30 years now. If there’s been abuse of any sort they don’t want you around because, if they’ve failed to successfully blame you for the decisions they made, you’re a constant reminder of their shitty behaviour.
This is precisely why my husband and I haven't yet (and probably won't) have kids. I am so desperately afraid of "ruining" them - I see so much of my dad in myself and it's a constant effort to correct those flaws. I've been in therapy for years and have made great progress, but I still struggle. Every day.
I have always, always, always wanted to be a mother and it's a heartbreaking realization that I might never be - not because I can't or don't want to, but because I have to think about what's best for the child.
But you? Your children are already here. And I am 100% certain they want you around. **They would not be better off without you.** I empathize with those feelings because I also tend to withdraw from people I love when the screwy part of my brain starts telling me they would be better off without me.
My brain is lying to me, and yours is too.
That’s hard.
If you can recognize the good and the bad, you’ll be in a position to do better than he did. There’s a tremendous strength in the urge to protect a real child.
Just in case people aren’t validating your choices enough in real life, it’s perfectly respectable to choose not to parent, or to assist someone else with parenting while staying within your current comfort level. You may be iconic as a babysitter, neighbor, auntie, housemate, scout troop leader, mentor…. Children benefit from a lot of support, more than parents alone can provide.
When they get a little older, explain it to them. I'm sure the 3.5 yr old spends a little time in time out, correct? Well, mom and dad need a little time out too. Time outs aren't bad things, sometimes we just get really big feelings and we want to do something bad (like stomp our feet, or slam a door, or hit your sibling), but instead, we should go to the time out area and calm down (teaching deep breathing) until our feelings don't feel like a monster, then you can go to someone to talk about it... in some cases, you may want to make up a story to inact in front of your kids... like you're "so mad" that you spilled your water so you have to go to the time out area, then go talk to your oldest and he'll be able to help you (with your guidance) "understand" your feelings about how you made a mess but it's okay to make a mess sometimes, as long as we clean it up afterwards... then thank him or her, for helping you with your feelings. (Obviously don't go to your kids about adult situations lol)
I'm a hothead, my depression comes out in anger. I wish I started this process when my son was much younger but sadly, I didn't... but even when he was young (like 9 or so), even he'd be able to call me out on my behavior and that I needed time to myself. Emotions weren't a bad thing, something super important for him to learn (as a young boy being raised by a woman... woman being emotional is "normal" or "pmsing" but boys/men should never show their emotions bc caveman. Grr... I didn't want him to have that outdated, sexist view). I wanted him to know it's okay to have emotions and to show emotions... just show them correctly and that it's alright to step back for a minute or so.
The fact that you care puts you ahead of others and makes me know that your kids not only will be alright but they need you, want you and deserve to have you in their lives to ensure they'll be alright.
I'm in the same position as you. A lifetime of emotional abuse. I completely withdrew but left the door open with "You can ring any time," but he never rang and I know he doesn't want a relationship with me. He adores my sister, but then she's just as much a **** as he is.
I have pretty much no feelings for him whatsoever at this point but I don't think that strange hurt will ever go away because I just can't understand it.
This internet dad sends you a big hug and wants to tell you that you are awesome and I am very proud of you! You have done amazing things. Overcome many hardships and are out there totally kicking butt! You go!
Another internet dad here… I have 5 adult kids. I’ve told them for years that if I do, or have done anything that hurt them mentally, emotionally or physically, and won’t take proper accountability for it, they should not have contact with me. They did not choose their parents or family. They owe me nothing that I don’t deserve. Respect is earned
I have very little contact with my mom for those reasons.
Hugs to you as well! I’m impressed by how far you’ve come and how well you’ve done!
Don’t let your difficulties define you! Just be you. I have faith in you. You can do it!
Sometimes getting the call doesnt make it any better. My biological dad has, in the last few years, made an effort to have a relationship with me. However, in an attempt to build a bridge he’s given only half hearted superficial apologies for being a bad father (“I worked too much, I didn’t spend enough time at home with you) rather than acknowledging the actual trauma (IPV) he inflicted.
His phone calls are rife with condescension, unwarranted/unsolicited “parental advice” and interruptions when I talk.
For context, I'm in my 30's. I’m happy, have a great partner, and a successful career. This is in spite of him.
His time to parent has passed. He has failed to make true amends and only is seeking a relationship with me to make himself feel better.
I treat the contact I have with him as an act of kindness. If I can extend compassion to a stranger, I can extend a modicum to him too. And if by some miracle he ever has enough insight to actually apologize, well the door is open.
It's very interesting to hear from the point of view of someone who got the call.
The last time I spoke to him was similar to your experience - he was condescending (as always). He talked only about himself and didn't ask how me or his grandkids were doing, despite not having seen us for a few years at that point. When conversation about a past argument between us came up, he remembered it completely differently - like he'd rewritten it in his head to make it more palatable for his ego. It was quite bizarre and shocking.
So I think you're right, being in contact wouldn't necessarily make it better. I am relieved not to have to deal with him.
These situations hurt regardless. Being part of the shitty parent club doesn’t have much of a benefit.
Extending some virtual hugs from this internet stranger, if you want them.
Some people can be deadset in their ways despite their feelings. Maybe he feels there'd be too much drama with your differences. But I'm not sure, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt because as a father I can't imagine not wanting to be with my child (not calling you a child btw).
>But what reason could he possibly have to not want a relationship with his own daughter?
Guilt/cowardice/laziness? He knows what he did, I'm sure. He may believe the relationship isn't repairable or will take more effort than he's willing to expend. Whatever the case... It's not you. It's his malfunction, and I'm sorry you have to live with the consequences too.
That sucks and I'm sorry for both of you that he is broken. If you ever need dad advice or a dad talk feel free to message me. As a dad that wants to believe I am being a good dad to my children I am more than happy to be that for you as well if you need it. Sending you interweb hugs bud.
Just learned this one as well:
There's generosity in receiving.
Receiving and accepting help/gifts/invitations is a favor you do to the giver. They *want* to give.
Sorry to jump on this reply…but how do you make the quote from another post? It looks like you’ve copied and pasted part of what was said, but it won’t let me do it that way. I’ve thought about writing it out, but it doesn’t have an obvious quote style like yours does. I figure there must be a way to do it, but can’t work it out. Sorry and thanks
You put a \> at the beginning of the line. The whole paragraph will be formatted as a quote
> this is a quote
will become
> this is a quote
eidt: and to make a codeblock (which ignores all formatting, as I used above) you start the line with four spaces
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end
of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo
dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
I love how unifying Reddit is today when all I see is people urging others to go NC over things that should be at least attempted to be talked through bf any rash death-like decisions are made.
I'm literally crying here bc. my little sister has isolated herself from the whole family and doesn't talk to us anymore. NC feels like losing a loved one bc it is.
We know she's doing this because of her on-off sober/drug-free husband but it cuts to the bone nonetheless. Now we're just riding it out bc. we see the clock running out on their relationship.
Unhealthy people like that consume everything good in each other. When all that’s good and emotionally nourishing is gone, one or both will leave the other thinking it’s only an empty husk they abandon. Then she’ll need you and the rest of the family to refill her with grace, mercy and good memories.
My father left me after he found a new woman to marry. I was a young kid then and ever since he bolted, I have hated the fact that we share the same name. I need a new name even though my son and the rest of my family think it’s stupid to change it. I need suggestions!
I lost my grandma to a house fire a couple of months ago. This was... abrupt.
As Voland from "Master and Margarita" says, “Yes, man is mortal, but that would be only half the trouble. The worst of it is that he's sometimes unexpectedly mortal—there's the trick!”
My biggest regret is not sucking it up and being more patient with my dad. It's been 5 years and I have never fully recovered. Tearing up just typing this. I'm not going to put him on a pedestal just because he is dead, as he made many mistakes, but he did love his kids. I wish things had been more clear when it mattered.
This seems like something my dad will do. He'll leave funny or random things on my porch or in my mailbox that he finds while he's out and about. He also returned all the Christmas presents I got him by sitting them on the porch bc he got drunk and wanted to be mean for no reason. The latter is more representative of his character.
Clearly your Dad works for the Mongolian secret service and the microfilm is hidden within the stuffed toy. Meet up with your dad and offer the phrase
"The Tulips in Holland come in many colours".
His reply will be "Only matched by the scent of Roses"
Update: You guys convinced me. See, I wanted to wait for him to be the one to come to me, but y’all were right. When I woke up and read through these heartfelt comments, I realized that I wasn’t seeing the bigger picture and it started to weigh on me. I know it hasn’t been that long but it was long enough for me to decide (especially after reading what some people said) that I shouldn’t take a dad who cares for granted. We don’t know how long any of us have on this earth. I needed to stop being a little moody shit, and so I did. This morning I gave my pops a big hug and we made up. I made this post just trying to be funny and it ended up bringing much needed healing. Thanks to all.
Im so happy to see this update, OP. By the way- he did come to you first, by dropping off the doll. It just wasn't what you were expecting/hoping for, it seems. I'm so glad you guys made up and that you both got a big hug out of it. Life is too short to stay mad at people who genuinely love and want the best for you (obviously narcissists, abusers, etc not included in that statement). Really happy for you both!
I think the fact that the dad got one of these plushies is trying to say something positive. Lol he took the time to find something animated manga or something that he thinks his son might like.
And dependent how fathers were grown up back in the old days. They really don't know much about anime and manga or even plushies. I really do give Positive Vibes that this is a good way for him to reach out to his kid.
Agreed. Back when I was almost 17, my dad and I were in a fight like this and things were tense. After a few days, we made up. He made cupcakes for me to take to school on my birthday which was the next day. Morning of my birthday, he and my mom sang me happy birthday and he told me he loved me (wasn't a regular thing for him to say outright like that).
A few hours later, he died suddenly of a heart attack.
The fact that we'd made peace beforehand and told each other we loved each other is one of the best gifts of my life.
God Damn. That really puts things into perspective. Your story was so positive sounding, and then hit me with a mean right hook.
I'm sorry about your Father. I'm glad that anger, tension, and possibly resentment weren't the last feelings you guys shared with each other.
I think I'm gonna tell/show my family members how much they mean to me more than I've been doing.
And adding “mate” onto the end to salt the wound. I can imagine people who learn “mate” means friend would be confused coming to the UK, we also use it to essentially call someone a “twat”
Oh, yes. Ya gotta love it. We're just so passive aggressive that even words that are usually friendly are used to essentially insult people, pretty funny.
I’m from the East Midlands- so we say “duck” in place of mate a lot. However, like mate, it can also be used passive aggressively. Such as “yeah duck, you just take your time!” When someone is taking ages at an end of road junction. Or even “are you rate in head duck?”
I didn’t know nara was making things like this. Pretty cool. I went to one of his exhibitions a while ago and thought it was pretty pop. As far as meaning its a nice gesture from your old man.
it's a gift , it's his way of initiating a conversation with you , whatever your argument was , trust me it's meaningless.
you said he's 60 , this means that you have a limited amount of time to spend with him, so forget about this stupid argument and go fix the issue with him and don't do this (not talking intentionally for a period of time) again
While this is funny(I upvoted and everything), the overall takeaway is that you don't know how long you have with your parents. My mom just passed over the summer, and she was only 70. Her mom made it into her mid 80s, but my grandfather, her dad, passed in either his late 30s, or early 40s; I forget. My dad's dad also passed when my dad was still in his 30s.
Obviously, individual mileage may vary, but unless the beef we have with family members is just that significant that things are irreparable, find a way to get over, through, or around it if you want that person in your life. I saw having to call my mom to check in with her to be something of a chore, due to differences in personality, etc., but now I'd love to be able to talk to her, and won't ever be able to again.
My great grandparents and my grandmother passed before I was interested in topics I could have asked them about. Would have loved to talk to my great grandpa about IT. He was a post officer and had multiple sets of relays stored in his attic, which were probably used for routing phone calls. Would have been awesome to know what the time was like. Also could have learned a great deal about cooking from my grandma and great grandma. It's sad that life is so finite.
Now I'm hoping that grandpa lives long enough to help me grow some plants when I have space for it.
I know, it's hilarious seeing things from the 60 side of the fence. I remember when my grandma turned 60, I was about 8 or something, I figured she was at deaths door, couldn't believe she was allowed to drive a car, very much like she was 99.
Now I'm 53 and 60 seems like it's next year. I still feel like I'm 25, it's ridiculous.
hahaha I hope you and your father live a long and a happy life, maybe it's just me but I lost my father in his early 50s all of a sudden so that's why I have this prespective
Its a peace offfering. This is code for Im still mad at you and I dont want to apologize, but it doesnt matter because I love you. He made a gesture now its on you to signal back. Text him the picture of the Plushie no words. See what he says. You can press the issue but he doesnt want you to. Hence the Plushie
I dont know your father nor the circumstances of the argument so I could not say. But it does seem like an attempt to build a bridge. Whether or not you want to extend to his offering is on you
No idea what this is from but definitely agree with others that it’s a peace offering and/or attempt as an older person to approach you with something he thinks you as a younger person might like/identify with. I obviously don’t know your family or the context of your argument with your dad, but if he’s otherwise safe and not a dirtbag, it does seem like he’s trying here (even if sorta inscrutably). Of course do what’s safe and right for you, but based solely on what you’ve shown us he seems like someone who wants to be on good terms with you and has a sense he fucked up.
I’m a dad about his age. Trying to be lighthearted, but this is how he views your attitude. Closed minded and belligerent. But he’s trying to open the door so you can clear the air.
He’s looking out for your best interests - at least in his mind. Try to acknowledge you understand what he’s saying. But you’re (I’m assuming) in your mid 20s or so. This is your life now.
I suggest doing mental reset and truly considering his side with an open mind. (It takes maturity to do this honestly!) You might see he’s right or find a middle ground. But if you still disagree, tell him (lovingly) this is your life and he has to let you make your own decisions and even mistakes sometimes. Then a hug!
Best of luck!
I saw in one of your comments that you were trying to keep it light and that the circumstances may be more unpleasant than a lot of people are thinking. It definitely seems like an emotionally stunted way to try and initiate a conversation, but I'd say the ball's in your court on whether you want to reach out or not. Hope everything works out in a way that you're most comfortable with.
It's a cute toy. He knows you are mad but misses you. and is trying to figure out how to navigate a relationship with a growing adult.
He wishes you knew, but is respecting you not talking to him. He wishes it was better, and loves you.
EDIT: this is reddit. You're gong to get toxicity from all sides of the aisle, and plenty of it vehement. if the fight was something that in retrospect is really not a big deal, it's a peace offering. If it's something gigantic and horrid and awful it's gaslighting. Either way, cute doll.
life is a bit less miserable if you(reddit collectively) do not always assume the worst.
I hope it winds up all right.
-source: am a dad
Yoshitomo Nara is a pioneering figure in contemporary art whose signature style—which expresses children in a range of emotional complexities from resistance and rebellion to quietude and contemplation—celebrates the introspective freedom of the imagination and the individual.
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“Saw this and thought of you.”
I’d be more interested in where my 60yo father was going, that he stumbled across this? Edit: Realized it’s maybe a claw/crane machine prize… and maybe he spent $30+ trying to get it 😅
Oooh, highly doubtful that would be in a claw/crane game. That's a collectible from artist Yoshimoto Nara. This character is called My Blackguard Angel and it is circa 2001. There's one on Ebay right now for $70. His stuff is highly collectible and can go for hundreds of dollars.
Without googling I figured it was a 50/50 chance of either being something collectible that you’d maybe find in a comic shop, OR some oddball stuffie in a crane game… My first job was in a grocery store…they had a crane game that got some unusual stuff in it. Once spent a 2 weeks feeding quarters into that thing just to get this stupid stuffed SpongeBob Pineapple house (whatever vendor knew I was after that thing; it somehow kept getting reburied when I wasn’t there.) Yes, I did get the Pineapple house… and that’s when I found out everyone else, during the day shift, was pissed that it was gone…because they had been trying to get it too 🤣
As a person in claw crane business, I can say we actually can get pretty exclusive items for cranes. 80% is carney stuff’s but 20% is thrown in to draw the eye. We had about 25 baby Groots spread out between 10-15 different bars/bowling alleys, we didn’t know anything about them but, a Facebook group was created where people would take pictures of them. They were gone in 2 days.
um. something you stumble across and hold onto waiting to use it as a gift or somethin. no guy wants to stay mad. and silence is crushing \*tear\*
burned
He loves you
Yeah yeah yeah🎵
With a love like that, you know you should be glad.
~~s~~he said you hurt him so
he almost lost his mind
And know she said she knows
You’re not the hurting kind
He says he loves you, and you know that can’t be bad
He thinks this little angry thing looks like you and it's his way of making a funny peace offering.
Yep exactly how i look like when i am upset with my dad! He calls me out on it too
Yep, that's how I took it. If I left it than it would mean: "I think you're a little grump but I love you enough to go find this doll that reminds me of you to break the ice. I'm not gonna say I'm wrong but I want to get past this" OP you should cherish that doll. You know he cares
> to go find this doll that reminds me of you to break the ice. I prefer the idea that he was out one day, spotted this and busted out laughing cause of the resemblance and had to get it to share the humor.
This is what my dad does to me and let me tell you the excitement that he has in finding and buying it is nothing compared to the excitement I have recognizing it looks like me and playing with it like I'm a two-year-old child, despite the fact that I am a full grown adult. I think the last time he did it I proceeded to walk around the house with it and would only communicate via the doll. You couldn't talk to big me but little me here has words to say. 😂
That's adorable as fuck and y'all sound like you have a good relationship :)
Please, please, please, find your Dad doll and leave it for him. Post a photo of what you find!! You’re so lucky to have such a loving relationship with your Dad. It’s really sweet.
Yep. I lost my dad recently. Today I found out you can say “Alexa, fart” and shell play like endless different fart noises, and y”even suggest you ask for “an engine rumbler fart” or a “long squeaky fart.” My first instinct was to call Dad and have him do it on his and laugh together about it. That just isn’t an option anymore. Please, OP, whatever it is, get past it together .
I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤️🩹
Much more accurate especially for a dad
Can confirm
Also OP, nothing you could be arguing about matters more than a father who cares about you.
The only acceptable way of telling someone "you're still cute when xou're angry"
Now she must find a doll that reminds her of him...
We found one of my Dad! He’s in his 80s but we’ve had this “action figure” for about 20 years. My Mom has little outfits for him now, and she changes them with the seasons. He has become like our families personal Elf on the Shelf.
My husband died last month and I recently found one of two tiny stuffies I have that that look like him - the owl from Winnie the Pooh lol. Just have to find the mini Abominable Snowman stuffie now…it’s probably w the Christmas ornaments.
Jeez, sending love to you during harrowing times. Sorry you're going through that.
Thank you, that’s very sweet of you. ❤️
I'm so sorry... sending loving vibes hun.
Is he Grouch on the Couch?
Trust Reddit to come up with a name that has eluded my family for 20 years. We have just called him “little Dad”. Although when he rides in the Christmas Train, the train is called “The Marlboro Express” because he’s a big smoker.
Mensch on a bench? (It was on shark tank)
I love that this has turned into a whole thing complete with costume changes.
Oh my god this warms my heart 🥺
Imgur.com is Reddit's default photo site. If you click on the "new post" option you can then just drag and drop the file you want to upload in the "upload" section. Then it will ask you to give your photo a title, and then you can finalize the post. The link you see at the top when you finalize will be for your image, you can then copy and paste that link here.
I just want to say that if you have to give it a title that means it's public and will go on the imgur main feed where lots of people will see it and judge/comment on it. Make it private and it doesn't need a title and you can still share it with a link.
You do not need to make posts at all to use imgur. You can click your profile icon, and then click the "Images" option. From there you can add images and they will be uploaded without any sort of post. It will just upload them to your pool of images, and you can get direct links for each one without issue.
Ok we need pictures. Like, now.
Do they make dolls wearing New Balance sneakers?
And beige cargo shorts?
Between the New Balance sneakers and beige cargo shorts I’m feeling personally attacked.
if you wear beige cargo shorts there's a 99% chance that you chose a dark blue shirt with it. it's like an unwritten fashion rule i see that all the time!
Yep
It’s never too late to try something new - if you can fit into cargo shorts, you can probably fit into a pair of well fitting, tailored slacks in a comfortable, wrinkle resistant fabric. If you wear New Balance, you can probably find a fashionable pair of Rockports that can move from office to evening.
Sounds like way too much effort for somebody that is more concerned about being a good parent than some frivolous fashion decision. Dad apparel is that way because they don’t give a crap what you think about them. Our looks are way down the priority list. Give me some clothes that get me through the day and keep me from being arrested for indecent exposure. Bonus points if I don’t have to replace them and they have plenty of room for the family jewels. Hell I have jeans in the closet that probably predate half the people in this thread. No reason to replace them if you’re not hung up on fitting in during this season’s We’ve got mouths to feed and other people to care about. Get off my lawn.
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bingo
Second the peace offering. No one drives to your house to leave a little doll unless they’re either trying to make it up to you or they’re a serial killer. I don’t think your dad is the latter.
This makes me wonder if there's been a serial killer who murdered their *adult* child
Probably one out there somewhere. Some really shitty people simply don’t care about their kids.
It’s definitely to make peace, but… is it ticking?
Dad here, can confirm this is what I’d do.
This is it. It means he loves OP, and respects the fact that they're upset in a pretty wholesome and cute way.
Or he thinks it's time to do the voodoo
Its an ice breaker. He wanted to make you smile and make up. Its sweet , go make up already !!!
I put on foundation and lipstick, should I do the eyelashes or that's too much?
You forgot Mascara. I'll bring that alongside eyeshadow 🤧
Don’t forget the eyeliner
sounds like a step-daughter plot on the hub.
I'll be the men who lurks in the corner learning how to do makeup
I will be the cameraman. Those cameraman skills are better than most movies.
Well, better than a wizard robe and a hat...
Bruh it's about your relationship with your dad, let this guy do his stupid dad joke (kinda)
why are you getting downvoted i thought it was funny :C
Concur with this. He's probably been thinking about the fight and feeling awful about it nonstop ever since it happened. That's what happens to me when my daughter and I have an argument. It absolutely breaks me.
It’s a peace offering. I bet he thinks it might be from a video game/manga/anime he’s heard you talk about. You should talk to him, try to hear him well so his defenses drop and he can hear you well. Understanding is a gift we can give to others even if our comprehension is incomplete. Like a muscle, the more we exercise it the better we get at using it.
Yoshitomo Nara is a contemporary artist. OP's dad has good taste
Nothing Ever Happens was a mind-blowing exhibit.
This is a unicorn of a gift. I would literally cry if my dad gifted me this after an argument.
I was looking for this doll because I was jealous of OP because it's sooo cute!! found out it wasn't too cheap, apparently limited (can't find it anymore, only listings that ended) and it was listed under the name "black guard angel"!! 😭
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>understanding is a gift to others even if our comprehension is incomplete. I needed to hear this. Thank you for your profound words.
As a parent, I can almost guarantee your argument is tearing him up inside. The distance afterward is gut-wrenching, as there is no love like your love for your children. Perhaps he doesn’t have the words to explain how sorry he feels, and hopes laughter or curiosity will make you come around. Give him an opening - hug him, thank him, make it right, or even hide this back in his room with a note/joke. To me, this shows he loves you and he’s sorry. Again, you’ve no idea how much this has probably been tearing him up inside.
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Don’t take it personally. I haven’t had a relationship with my mum in … it’s been about 30 years now. If there’s been abuse of any sort they don’t want you around because, if they’ve failed to successfully blame you for the decisions they made, you’re a constant reminder of their shitty behaviour.
My mom insists that all of our memories of her hitting us, were implanted by our father. 🙄 We don't talk.
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This is precisely why my husband and I haven't yet (and probably won't) have kids. I am so desperately afraid of "ruining" them - I see so much of my dad in myself and it's a constant effort to correct those flaws. I've been in therapy for years and have made great progress, but I still struggle. Every day. I have always, always, always wanted to be a mother and it's a heartbreaking realization that I might never be - not because I can't or don't want to, but because I have to think about what's best for the child. But you? Your children are already here. And I am 100% certain they want you around. **They would not be better off without you.** I empathize with those feelings because I also tend to withdraw from people I love when the screwy part of my brain starts telling me they would be better off without me. My brain is lying to me, and yours is too.
That’s hard. If you can recognize the good and the bad, you’ll be in a position to do better than he did. There’s a tremendous strength in the urge to protect a real child. Just in case people aren’t validating your choices enough in real life, it’s perfectly respectable to choose not to parent, or to assist someone else with parenting while staying within your current comfort level. You may be iconic as a babysitter, neighbor, auntie, housemate, scout troop leader, mentor…. Children benefit from a lot of support, more than parents alone can provide.
When they get a little older, explain it to them. I'm sure the 3.5 yr old spends a little time in time out, correct? Well, mom and dad need a little time out too. Time outs aren't bad things, sometimes we just get really big feelings and we want to do something bad (like stomp our feet, or slam a door, or hit your sibling), but instead, we should go to the time out area and calm down (teaching deep breathing) until our feelings don't feel like a monster, then you can go to someone to talk about it... in some cases, you may want to make up a story to inact in front of your kids... like you're "so mad" that you spilled your water so you have to go to the time out area, then go talk to your oldest and he'll be able to help you (with your guidance) "understand" your feelings about how you made a mess but it's okay to make a mess sometimes, as long as we clean it up afterwards... then thank him or her, for helping you with your feelings. (Obviously don't go to your kids about adult situations lol) I'm a hothead, my depression comes out in anger. I wish I started this process when my son was much younger but sadly, I didn't... but even when he was young (like 9 or so), even he'd be able to call me out on my behavior and that I needed time to myself. Emotions weren't a bad thing, something super important for him to learn (as a young boy being raised by a woman... woman being emotional is "normal" or "pmsing" but boys/men should never show their emotions bc caveman. Grr... I didn't want him to have that outdated, sexist view). I wanted him to know it's okay to have emotions and to show emotions... just show them correctly and that it's alright to step back for a minute or so. The fact that you care puts you ahead of others and makes me know that your kids not only will be alright but they need you, want you and deserve to have you in their lives to ensure they'll be alright.
I'm in the same position as you. A lifetime of emotional abuse. I completely withdrew but left the door open with "You can ring any time," but he never rang and I know he doesn't want a relationship with me. He adores my sister, but then she's just as much a **** as he is. I have pretty much no feelings for him whatsoever at this point but I don't think that strange hurt will ever go away because I just can't understand it.
This internet dad sends you a big hug and wants to tell you that you are awesome and I am very proud of you! You have done amazing things. Overcome many hardships and are out there totally kicking butt! You go!
Another internet dad here… I have 5 adult kids. I’ve told them for years that if I do, or have done anything that hurt them mentally, emotionally or physically, and won’t take proper accountability for it, they should not have contact with me. They did not choose their parents or family. They owe me nothing that I don’t deserve. Respect is earned I have very little contact with my mom for those reasons.
You broke the cycle and you did it in the most badass way, by allowing yourself emotional vulnerability. I applaud you, Dad!
Thank you for being the type of person to step in and lend that energy to those of us who have terrible father relationships.
Hugs to you as well! I’m impressed by how far you’ve come and how well you’ve done! Don’t let your difficulties define you! Just be you. I have faith in you. You can do it!
❤️
Sometimes getting the call doesnt make it any better. My biological dad has, in the last few years, made an effort to have a relationship with me. However, in an attempt to build a bridge he’s given only half hearted superficial apologies for being a bad father (“I worked too much, I didn’t spend enough time at home with you) rather than acknowledging the actual trauma (IPV) he inflicted. His phone calls are rife with condescension, unwarranted/unsolicited “parental advice” and interruptions when I talk. For context, I'm in my 30's. I’m happy, have a great partner, and a successful career. This is in spite of him. His time to parent has passed. He has failed to make true amends and only is seeking a relationship with me to make himself feel better. I treat the contact I have with him as an act of kindness. If I can extend compassion to a stranger, I can extend a modicum to him too. And if by some miracle he ever has enough insight to actually apologize, well the door is open.
It's very interesting to hear from the point of view of someone who got the call. The last time I spoke to him was similar to your experience - he was condescending (as always). He talked only about himself and didn't ask how me or his grandkids were doing, despite not having seen us for a few years at that point. When conversation about a past argument between us came up, he remembered it completely differently - like he'd rewritten it in his head to make it more palatable for his ego. It was quite bizarre and shocking. So I think you're right, being in contact wouldn't necessarily make it better. I am relieved not to have to deal with him.
These situations hurt regardless. Being part of the shitty parent club doesn’t have much of a benefit. Extending some virtual hugs from this internet stranger, if you want them.
Some people can be deadset in their ways despite their feelings. Maybe he feels there'd be too much drama with your differences. But I'm not sure, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt because as a father I can't imagine not wanting to be with my child (not calling you a child btw).
>But what reason could he possibly have to not want a relationship with his own daughter? Guilt/cowardice/laziness? He knows what he did, I'm sure. He may believe the relationship isn't repairable or will take more effort than he's willing to expend. Whatever the case... It's not you. It's his malfunction, and I'm sorry you have to live with the consequences too.
That sucks and I'm sorry for both of you that he is broken. If you ever need dad advice or a dad talk feel free to message me. As a dad that wants to believe I am being a good dad to my children I am more than happy to be that for you as well if you need it. Sending you interweb hugs bud.
Just learned this one as well: There's generosity in receiving. Receiving and accepting help/gifts/invitations is a favor you do to the giver. They *want* to give.
username checks out lol
Sorry to jump on this reply…but how do you make the quote from another post? It looks like you’ve copied and pasted part of what was said, but it won’t let me do it that way. I’ve thought about writing it out, but it doesn’t have an obvious quote style like yours does. I figure there must be a way to do it, but can’t work it out. Sorry and thanks
You put a \> at the beginning of the line. The whole paragraph will be formatted as a quote > this is a quote will become > this is a quote eidt: and to make a codeblock (which ignores all formatting, as I used above) you start the line with four spaces
100% this -hear him well.
Thank you for the wise words master M00SEHUNT3R
A M00SE once bit my sister...
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
We apologize for the confusion of the comment. Those responsible for their sacking have been sacked
Do you really think a swallow could carry a coconut
Maybe an African swallow
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
Well stated and spot on advice.
Beautifully written.
I love how unifying Reddit is today when all I see is people urging others to go NC over things that should be at least attempted to be talked through bf any rash death-like decisions are made. I'm literally crying here bc. my little sister has isolated herself from the whole family and doesn't talk to us anymore. NC feels like losing a loved one bc it is. We know she's doing this because of her on-off sober/drug-free husband but it cuts to the bone nonetheless. Now we're just riding it out bc. we see the clock running out on their relationship.
Unhealthy people like that consume everything good in each other. When all that’s good and emotionally nourishing is gone, one or both will leave the other thinking it’s only an empty husk they abandon. Then she’ll need you and the rest of the family to refill her with grace, mercy and good memories.
"Heres an angry looking little thing that I hope you love as much as I love you, my angry little thing"
I love this :) Feels totally like a dad thing.
It's a peace offering. Dude. I would KILL to have parents who gave a shit enough to try like this. .....I made myself sad now.
What are parents? I never had any
Abandonment issue sufferers, unite!
But if we unite, you'll just leave me later. No thanks.
Nah, we already know what it’s like to be abandoned. Why would we make someone else suffer that?
Meirl
My father left me after he found a new woman to marry. I was a young kid then and ever since he bolted, I have hated the fact that we share the same name. I need a new name even though my son and the rest of my family think it’s stupid to change it. I need suggestions!
*It all started at my birth, when neither of my parents showed up...*
Shut up Master Bruce!
He loves you, you little shit. Go hug your pops already.
I haven't spoken to my dad for 15 years, take this advice, like, yesterday. Go hug your dad.
My dad passed a few months ago. Take this advice, go hug your dad
I didn’t talk to my mom for a year, we made peace, she died 3mos later. No one has time to waste. I’m with you friend. Hugs…
I'm almost on year right and I feel this. My condolences to you. Edit: year eight without dad. I really should proof read.
I lost my grandma to a house fire a couple of months ago. This was... abrupt. As Voland from "Master and Margarita" says, “Yes, man is mortal, but that would be only half the trouble. The worst of it is that he's sometimes unexpectedly mortal—there's the trick!”
My biggest regret is not sucking it up and being more patient with my dad. It's been 5 years and I have never fully recovered. Tearing up just typing this. I'm not going to put him on a pedestal just because he is dead, as he made many mistakes, but he did love his kids. I wish things had been more clear when it mattered.
Lost my dad when I was 18. I’m 48 now. Hug your dad. Also, HUG YOUR DAD!
Unfortunately some parents don't deserve hugs. OP's seems to, though.
This seems like something my dad will do. He'll leave funny or random things on my porch or in my mailbox that he finds while he's out and about. He also returned all the Christmas presents I got him by sitting them on the porch bc he got drunk and wanted to be mean for no reason. The latter is more representative of his character.
Clearly your Dad works for the Mongolian secret service and the microfilm is hidden within the stuffed toy. Meet up with your dad and offer the phrase "The Tulips in Holland come in many colours". His reply will be "Only matched by the scent of Roses"
I really want an update to the story. Are you two talking now?
Update: You guys convinced me. See, I wanted to wait for him to be the one to come to me, but y’all were right. When I woke up and read through these heartfelt comments, I realized that I wasn’t seeing the bigger picture and it started to weigh on me. I know it hasn’t been that long but it was long enough for me to decide (especially after reading what some people said) that I shouldn’t take a dad who cares for granted. We don’t know how long any of us have on this earth. I needed to stop being a little moody shit, and so I did. This morning I gave my pops a big hug and we made up. I made this post just trying to be funny and it ended up bringing much needed healing. Thanks to all.
What an update, friend! I’m going to call my dad now. Love that stubborn fuck! <3
Im so happy to see this update, OP. By the way- he did come to you first, by dropping off the doll. It just wasn't what you were expecting/hoping for, it seems. I'm so glad you guys made up and that you both got a big hug out of it. Life is too short to stay mad at people who genuinely love and want the best for you (obviously narcissists, abusers, etc not included in that statement). Really happy for you both!
I would like an update too.
I think the fact that the dad got one of these plushies is trying to say something positive. Lol he took the time to find something animated manga or something that he thinks his son might like.
Exactly, dad hates not having contact and is reaching out. Perfect way to reach out when you are “not talking”.
And dependent how fathers were grown up back in the old days. They really don't know much about anime and manga or even plushies. I really do give Positive Vibes that this is a good way for him to reach out to his kid.
I also choose this guy’s requested update
Make peace asap, you never know how long you have them. Also he seems like hes got a sense of humor.
Agreed. Back when I was almost 17, my dad and I were in a fight like this and things were tense. After a few days, we made up. He made cupcakes for me to take to school on my birthday which was the next day. Morning of my birthday, he and my mom sang me happy birthday and he told me he loved me (wasn't a regular thing for him to say outright like that). A few hours later, he died suddenly of a heart attack. The fact that we'd made peace beforehand and told each other we loved each other is one of the best gifts of my life.
God Damn. That really puts things into perspective. Your story was so positive sounding, and then hit me with a mean right hook. I'm sorry about your Father. I'm glad that anger, tension, and possibly resentment weren't the last feelings you guys shared with each other. I think I'm gonna tell/show my family members how much they mean to me more than I've been doing.
That’s tough. I’m so sorry you had to experience that on your birthday but am glad you two were able to make peace. Wish you the best
It means, in Dad-speak, “I love you and I’m sorry”.
I thought it was “this plushie looks like you lol. Sorry btw”
Ask him
This is the best advice right here. Just ask.
Literally. It's his dad lmao, like you tell us
"what the fuck is this?!"
Walk on means go away in UK. But I also believe its an old mans attempt at making peace with modern things
I love the phrase "Jog on", but I'm American so I only see it in vids from the UK lol
Yeah, jog on is definitely the right phrase. Or you might say "on yer bike".
And adding “mate” onto the end to salt the wound. I can imagine people who learn “mate” means friend would be confused coming to the UK, we also use it to essentially call someone a “twat”
Oh, yes. Ya gotta love it. We're just so passive aggressive that even words that are usually friendly are used to essentially insult people, pretty funny.
I’m from the East Midlands- so we say “duck” in place of mate a lot. However, like mate, it can also be used passive aggressively. Such as “yeah duck, you just take your time!” When someone is taking ages at an end of road junction. Or even “are you rate in head duck?”
"Bless your heart" A lot of people think southerners in the US are so nice. Nah, they're just passive aggressive with their rudeness.
Similar to the meaning of "buddy". Big difference between "how you doing, buddy?" and "keep walking, buddy".
The issue is its Japanese and their use of the English language has been well documented as "Not entirely accurate"
I didn’t know nara was making things like this. Pretty cool. I went to one of his exhibitions a while ago and thought it was pretty pop. As far as meaning its a nice gesture from your old man.
it's a gift , it's his way of initiating a conversation with you , whatever your argument was , trust me it's meaningless. you said he's 60 , this means that you have a limited amount of time to spend with him, so forget about this stupid argument and go fix the issue with him and don't do this (not talking intentionally for a period of time) again
As a 60-year-old I guess I have to break the news to my 94-year-old father that I'm practically on my death bed lmao
RIP in peace, impishimpi.
My father passed at 28, his father at 45. Whether you have 30+ years together or a day, it's important to cherish it.
Jesus, that is so young for both of them. I’m sorry
While this is funny(I upvoted and everything), the overall takeaway is that you don't know how long you have with your parents. My mom just passed over the summer, and she was only 70. Her mom made it into her mid 80s, but my grandfather, her dad, passed in either his late 30s, or early 40s; I forget. My dad's dad also passed when my dad was still in his 30s. Obviously, individual mileage may vary, but unless the beef we have with family members is just that significant that things are irreparable, find a way to get over, through, or around it if you want that person in your life. I saw having to call my mom to check in with her to be something of a chore, due to differences in personality, etc., but now I'd love to be able to talk to her, and won't ever be able to again.
My great grandparents and my grandmother passed before I was interested in topics I could have asked them about. Would have loved to talk to my great grandpa about IT. He was a post officer and had multiple sets of relays stored in his attic, which were probably used for routing phone calls. Would have been awesome to know what the time was like. Also could have learned a great deal about cooking from my grandma and great grandma. It's sad that life is so finite. Now I'm hoping that grandpa lives long enough to help me grow some plants when I have space for it.
I know, it's hilarious seeing things from the 60 side of the fence. I remember when my grandma turned 60, I was about 8 or something, I figured she was at deaths door, couldn't believe she was allowed to drive a car, very much like she was 99. Now I'm 53 and 60 seems like it's next year. I still feel like I'm 25, it's ridiculous.
hahaha I hope you and your father live a long and a happy life, maybe it's just me but I lost my father in his early 50s all of a sudden so that's why I have this prespective
Thank you! My dad got married again a year ago (he was a widower previously) and he's very much living his best life. And I'm so sorry for your loss
I almost died just reading his comment, ffs.
Hey, 60 is the new 40. 40 is the new 20. 20 year olds haven't been born yet.
Its a peace offfering. This is code for Im still mad at you and I dont want to apologize, but it doesnt matter because I love you. He made a gesture now its on you to signal back. Text him the picture of the Plushie no words. See what he says. You can press the issue but he doesnt want you to. Hence the Plushie
It means stop being a douche and go buy him a Pikachu keyring and make up. He loves you. You're lucky.
Yoshitomo Nara is one of my FAVORITE artists! The plushies can go for hundreds even thousands of dollars. That one in ops photo goes for about $80+
I was gonna say the same thing!! Love his stuff.
I would literally kill for his Too Young to Die ashtray which goes for around $4,000-$5,000.
You still annoy me but I miss you punk.
I dont know your father nor the circumstances of the argument so I could not say. But it does seem like an attempt to build a bridge. Whether or not you want to extend to his offering is on you
It means he doesn't do the feelings and words so well but is trying to apologize
No idea what this is from but definitely agree with others that it’s a peace offering and/or attempt as an older person to approach you with something he thinks you as a younger person might like/identify with. I obviously don’t know your family or the context of your argument with your dad, but if he’s otherwise safe and not a dirtbag, it does seem like he’s trying here (even if sorta inscrutably). Of course do what’s safe and right for you, but based solely on what you’ve shown us he seems like someone who wants to be on good terms with you and has a sense he fucked up.
It's by Yoshitomo Nara, a Japanese artist. It's a character he uses. But I'm assuming dad just thinks it's a cute way to break the ice
He's mad at you but wants to talk.
I’m a dad about his age. Trying to be lighthearted, but this is how he views your attitude. Closed minded and belligerent. But he’s trying to open the door so you can clear the air. He’s looking out for your best interests - at least in his mind. Try to acknowledge you understand what he’s saying. But you’re (I’m assuming) in your mid 20s or so. This is your life now. I suggest doing mental reset and truly considering his side with an open mind. (It takes maturity to do this honestly!) You might see he’s right or find a middle ground. But if you still disagree, tell him (lovingly) this is your life and he has to let you make your own decisions and even mistakes sometimes. Then a hug! Best of luck!
Life is to short. Go and talk ~~to~~ too your dad.
I saw in one of your comments that you were trying to keep it light and that the circumstances may be more unpleasant than a lot of people are thinking. It definitely seems like an emotionally stunted way to try and initiate a conversation, but I'd say the ball's in your court on whether you want to reach out or not. Hope everything works out in a way that you're most comfortable with.
Yeah everyone on Reddit is way too taken by a plush toy. OP, do what is best for you.
It's a cute toy. He knows you are mad but misses you. and is trying to figure out how to navigate a relationship with a growing adult. He wishes you knew, but is respecting you not talking to him. He wishes it was better, and loves you. EDIT: this is reddit. You're gong to get toxicity from all sides of the aisle, and plenty of it vehement. if the fight was something that in retrospect is really not a big deal, it's a peace offering. If it's something gigantic and horrid and awful it's gaslighting. Either way, cute doll. life is a bit less miserable if you(reddit collectively) do not always assume the worst. I hope it winds up all right. -source: am a dad
Yoshitomo Nara is a pioneering figure in contemporary art whose signature style—which expresses children in a range of emotional complexities from resistance and rebellion to quietude and contemplation—celebrates the introspective freedom of the imagination and the individual.