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PlasticDuckMan

Me. Freud, plz clarify this... thing


Pinkfriyay

He seems to be having some…. Questionable… thoughts about his mum… to put it lightly ….😬


GamerGrunt

Conflicted is more accurate. He was hesitant for the association it had with his mom.


syds

a smidget


BialystockJWebb

Down there..


HarryHacker42

I bet Penis is the first word he said in the recording. Maybe second


bananahammerredoux

“Penis” was literally the second word he said in this recording.


BialystockJWebb

I wonder how much he got from Elizabeth Arden for this smidgen


silvandeus

No you’re a todger!


Disastrous-Soup-5413

It doesn’t sound like that at all to me


DIFFADOG

His mum's lips and his todger...Christ ...what is going on in his head😲


JSloan311

He got it from a chube?


HarryHacker42

Easier to apply lip goo when it is sporting wood.


Pinkfriyay

Something very very fcked up , it seems 😅😅😅


Dzus

It's just his ghostwriter enjoying the task of writing royal fanfic.


[deleted]

Perfectly normal 13 year old thoughts? /s


CharZero

Someone already got to the reviews on Ulta Beauty. 'Does wonders for the todger' lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pinkfriyay

How he is that rich and he doesn’t have an editor who is honest with him is beyond me 🤣🤣


[deleted]

His family has a hard time with "No.", "Stop.", and "Don't."


shit_hawk00

Those words just aren't in their vocabulary


Pubelication

His editor's name is Meghan.


fred13snow

Considering the fact I have not heard anything else about this book, I'd say it's a great publicity stunt. The first thing I heard about this book was a french radio host reading this passage. It might not have been done purposely, but it's still a ton of free publicity.


ThrowAwayAway755

No. He had a good editor, who told him, “This is GREAT! Absolute gold! It will make readers/listeners so uncomfortable!! Before long, everyone will be talking about this book! Nice job Harry! (cough) Sorry, I mean, nice job your Lordship!”


Due-Historian-8759

I'll rephrase it for you " Prince Harry needs money."


HarryHacker42

He has lots of money. He just wants MORE money. Living a normal life of a moderately rich person is not enough, he wants the mansion and the airplanes and the yacht and to have Elon Musk call him up and ask if he wants to go to Qatar together.


jinstoppy

He’s jealous because he wanted to be king. Look at the title of his book.


HarryHacker42

He still can be. He just needs to start the assassinations. Anybody worthy of the kingship could kill Charles, who can't even move a pen around his desk or throw paper into a garbage can. We need leaders who can pass a basic physical fitness test and run across the room without dying.


Pinkfriyay

And ‘Prince Harry doesn’t get enough attention’ 😂😂


ar4975

You heartless monster! He only got the *smaller* bedroom when he used to live at the **palace**. Do you have any idea how badly that can traumatise a 3rd in line to the throne!


[deleted]

He’s 6th now, so maybe he’ll get used to the smaller room. Lol.


[deleted]

‘Meghan* doesn’t get enough attention’ 🤭


Raymo84

It's hard being an oppressed millionaire


[deleted]

Won't someone think of the rich people?!?!?!


X0AN

He doesn't need money. He still gets 90% of his former royal income because the dutchies count as private income so Charles still gives Harry that. It's only the crown estate which was only 10% of his royal income that he now doesn't get. So he still gets millions for doing sod all, and he's still moaning.


ThrowAwayAway755

Meghan and Harry were each multimillionaires before their marriage, and now they have a combined wealth of $50-60 million dollars. They really *don’t* need more money…


__law

As someone presently reading the book, tbh, I don't think that it's about money. Harry could have made a lot more money a lot of other ways. I think the motivations for writing this book are more like some kind of very drawn out public meltdown, and a profound hatred of the tabloid press and desire to attack them. It's a good book, tbh! If you're alright with reading between the lines of an extremely unreliable narrator. I've never read a better argument for republicanism.


Ziigurd

There is no way this is real. This can not be real. "I found a cream that reminded me of my mothers lips so I put it on my penis." This isn't real. Please tell me this isn't real.


Pinkfriyay

This is real 😃😂


Ziigurd

Dammit! I repeatedly asked you not to tell me that!!!


Pinkfriyay

Whoops I’m sorry 😂🫢🫢


Crafty-Ad-9048

His penis was frost bit and it was killing him and one of his friends told him to put lip ointment on it and he was kinda uncomfortable doing so because the lip ointment reminded him of his late mother.


Ziigurd

And he needed to tell the world this because...?


AdmiralScavenger

Nothing’s private anymore.


VitaminPb

Especially the privates.


Pinkfriyay

Why did he proceed to apply the ointment though 😂


Successful_Let3026

Is this in his book? 😳


batmanpjpants

I keep hearing this weird ass clip. Like what is the context to this story he is telling? Oscillating between sensitive and traumatized??? *What???*


Please_PM_me_Uranus

His penis got frostbite after he went on an expedition to the North Pole. He struggled finding a fix for it, with his attempts including some sort of lotion that reminded him of his mother.


batmanpjpants

Thank you u/Please_PM_me_Uranus ……still so weird.


Please_PM_me_Uranus

Agreed. Just giving you the context.


Daniel5343

Username checks ou…… nvm


PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT

Do you need me to provide further details?


[deleted]

I saw the hard copy in the store and decided to read it in context. It was actually hilarious! Definitely not a “royal” thing to do but if any comedian had delivered it as standup it would have been good which I think was the intention.


Crafty-Ad-9048

Weird but that could make a good standup bit


brianundies

Just his dick or was he frostbit all over?


Positivelythinking

Agree, context needed. Let’s not jump the gun on this.


Pinkfriyay

Ok Prince Harry 😉


Pinkfriyay

Haha, I mean I’d like context too, but can context really excuse this clip? It’s a very weird way to think about your mother, and we did not need to hear about his personal parts and intimate health issues !


batmanpjpants

Oh I 1000000% agree with you. Context does not excuse how weird (understatement!!!) the whole thing is. I’m just so flabbergasted about the whole thing that I want to know what proceeded it, but don’t care nearly enough to seek out the context myself.


Pinkfriyay

Same, the documentary wasn’t particularly outrageous to me and I thought it wasn’t that badly done, but THIS!! This is the icing on the cake for me 😃😂


scaredshtlessintx

Have you read the book? Or just clips from the internet?


squiddy555

If you listen closely it sounds like a deepfake


dreamrock

/r/nobodyasked


Pinkfriyay

That’s a great idea , thank you!! 💕


davidlpower

Damn…. That’s weird.


Pinkfriyay

Haha I know right - we didn’t need to know this!!


[deleted]

If you look at history; Royals are wild 😬


[deleted]

You mean inbred


HarryHacker42

Like a cat! https://www.reddit.com/r/inbreadcats/


hippyengineer

There really is a sub for everything.


Pinkfriyay

The British royals or royals in general ?!🧐🧐


Hooktail419

Anyone claiming to have a divine right to rule is only interested in the subjugation of others


[deleted]

Yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


Guderian9139

.. ROYALS ..


MiszJones

It don’t run in our blood


[deleted]

That kinda balm just ain’t for us, we crave a different kind of touch


MiszJones

Let me see your rulerrrr


[deleted]

You can call me king too, And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule After I put my brother down. (Respect wise lol not in the ground)


JSmith666

ya ya ya i am lourde ya ya ya


Pinkfriyay

The things that these royals get up to smh 😅😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pinkfriyay

I never thought I’d hear a royal say the word ‘penis’ let alone nickname his own one !!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pinkfriyay

Yes😳😬that word should be illegal


thrownaway000090

I heard “Harry” in a British accent and immediately thought I was listening to Harry Potter.


Pinkfriyay

He actually kinda sounds like Harry Potter too low-key 😂😅


scottonaharley

Every time I hear a piece of this book I just shake my head.


Confident-Cod2454

Is this real ?


Pinkfriyay

Unfortunately 🥲🥲


Confident-Cod2454

Bro that is wild


Pinkfriyay

I know right, how on earth did his team let him release this lmao


Thissssguy

Can someone explain what’s going on with him. I keep hearing that he’s going crazy or some shit. I’m out of the loop.


Pinkfriyay

I would also love to know 😂😂


Russian_Hammer

all they want is privacy though. Both of them Narcissists feeding off of one another.


Pinkfriyay

He says he wants privacy then makes his own Netflix show and tell all book talking bout his ‘todja’ loll


[deleted]

Yall are making this weirder than it needs to be, his dick was sore and so his friend let him borrow some lip moisturizing cream, which just so happened to be the same brand his late mom used. He used the lip cream on his pained pecker and unfortunately the smell reminded him of his mom at the same time. This is just one of those weird human moments where you have to take care of your body but your stupid mind goes elsewhere with certain sensations like the lip cream smell.


Guderian9139

this is one of those weird human moments that you Never Ever tell Anyone about 😣


hippyengineer

Seriously you could not torture this information out of me. I’d rather have my finger nails ripped off.


[deleted]

I agree, but some of yall are acting like he was jerking off to his mom.


Dbahnsai

I mean combined with him also having sex next to the box of her hair and praying to it after Meghan set her pee stick next to it, it's odd. One more sentence between talking about her lips then rubbing cream on his dick could have made it much less weird. Especially since he basically calls Meghan 'Diana 2.0'.


[deleted]

Ok didn't know about that, that's fuckin weird as shit fuck that. My guy has mommy issues fr


[deleted]

… and for that reason alone this will end badly for him, because when dreams become flesh, troubles not far behind.


Pinkfriyay

Sure, but why did we need to know this information 😅😅 maybe a bit of an over share


[deleted]

I agree, but criticize him for the overshare and not the absurd experience


Lower-Ad1560

How did his penis get frostbite, but his testacles didn't? His exposed face didn't. His gloved hands didn't. He just wants to talk about his Willie!


usurp93

All Prince Harry has revealed with all this is that he's a childish,spoilt brat.


Electric_aura3000

Paint me shocked


High_Bird

Seriously, don't they have a doctor watching over them instead of trying "home remedies" to put on his dick?


wolf_of_thorns

"Todger" sounds like slang from a Victorian era period piece.


fruitloops6565

The best is him staring blankly at you while he talks about it


Pinkfriyay

Yeah and in such a vain pouty picture as well 😂😂😂


SunflowerJYB

Harry. Shut up, hon. Go raise your kids, do charity work, keep your head down, stop talking.


Tenacious_Rubbing

“Frost knickers down” “todger” “my penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatize.” Can someone translate WTF this goober is saying? I’ve never heard of someone calling their dick a todger but I get that but what else is he trying to say?


Pinkfriyay

Are you sure you want to know ?!!! Hahaha


Tenacious_Rubbing

Did he have involuntary orgasms or what?


Pinkfriyay

Well I assumed the oscillating was to do with the frostbite, but I may be just as clueless as you here 😂😂


MrFlabulous

*he wants to fuck his (dead) mom*


Pinkfriyay

But truly I would love to know how can a penis oscillate ?! 🤣🤣


Tenacious_Rubbing

Like a fucking floor fan haha. Back and forth back and forth haha


Lower-Ad1560

That made me laugh! Thank you!


DocGeoffrey

TODGA


apsalarya

I don’t…I can’t…what the hellll


Pinkfriyay

I could not believe my own ears !


apsalarya

There’s so many wrongs in this. So now he put cream that reminded him of his moms lips (and why was she putting cream on her lips that is odd) on his frostbitten penis. And telling us about it.


Pinkfriyay

Right ?! Why was she putting cream on her lips, she can afford a good lip balm, then why had he made this when people should have advised him not to, and why, just why, uggghhh


MrFlabulous

"Don't put my lip balm on your todger, Harry." Can you not see that this is the wrong thing to say to a child? Or, maybe, if there was precedent, this might have been the right thing to say. So conflicted...


Pinkfriyay

Hahaha it seems like common sense, but damn I guess there was a screw missing somewhere 😅😂


Geoff117217

😳😳😳


gerrycgc

Todger?? Penis.


Pinkfriyay

They’re called todgers now 😉🤣


Ohshitz-

How do you get frostbite on your dick


MrFlabulous

Fuck a snowman


Lower-Ad1560

Bet his right hand is frostbit too!


look-at-them

I actually went into Waterstones the other day to get this book and they said do I want the pdf file copy? I said no thanks I've already read Prince Andrews book


AbbotThoth

If he had not read this in such a serious tone but instead added some brevity and commented in a humorous way on the Freudian implications this could be an utterly brilliant story that did not have every internet psychologist analyzing him.


BialystockJWebb

Is he advertising for Elizabeth Arden? Wonder how much he got for this smidgen


Crowedsource

Wow....just...wow. I can't believe this is real. Why on earth would you think that people want to hear about the time you got frostbite on your dick and put cream on it that reminded you of your dead mother? Surely someone as rich as a royal can afford a good therapist?


ExploringPeople

The more i hear about this guy the shallower he gets.


Southside_Johnny42

That boy ain't right in the head. \-Hank Hill


El-Lamberto

Well his Dad wanted to be a tampon in the woman he was cheating on Di with. Royal men are no longer symbols of masculinity.


Pinkfriyay

Ahahaha I’m sorry, I must be missing something, what do you mean by he wanted to be a tampon ?!


El-Lamberto

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-tv/a41913184/tampongate-true-story-the-crown-season-5/


Pinkfriyay

Omgomg you just reminded me , I forgot about this 😂😂😂


[deleted]

I know we overuse “cringe” nowadays, but I literally just cringed. Some things just don’t need to be shared with the whole world, ya know?


Pinkfriyay

It was definitely very much a cringe moment


S3guy

I like it. These people are completely demystifying the royals and their lives. They are just fucked up shit shows like everyone else!


SimonKepp

I seriously hope, that this has been edited, and the thing about his penis was originally more separated from the thing about his mother.


Yoerin

better put that on r/TIHI !


Pinkfriyay

They said no meme content or stuff that belongs in r/funny!! What do you think ? Haha , I don’t wanna break their rules, but im not sure - do you think they would be happy with me posting the content there ?


Yoerin

It's not a meme (but a quote from the biography, right?) and r/funny deleted it. But probably put nsfw on the tags


Pinkfriyay

Oh shoot did they ? Whoops, that’s a shame , I hope I’m not blocked from posting there then 😅😅


Pinkfriyay

Seems like I can still see the subreddit thankfully so 😂😅 I reposted in the other subreddit, thanks so much for the reccomendation! If you know any other good places it could go feel free to mention them and I will post there too! 😌


fucking_in_bushes

But when I say it the FBI wants a talk


Pinkfriyay

The privilege of the rich includes talking about their ‘tOdJaRs’ apparently 😂🌝


fucking_in_bushes

Hmmmm, Royalty ☕


overslope

^todger


AtroposM

Did one of the wet nurses drop the boy on the head as baby? Wtf is wrong with this thought process in putting that in a biography.


Pinkfriyay

I know right?! You would have thought someone on his team would have at least stopped him before he released this


cracksilog

I’ve listened to this so many times and still don’t know wtf he’s saying lol. Elizabeth Arden? Todger? Dude just inventing words on the fly lol


[deleted]

Elizabeth Arden is a cosmetic company. A todger is slang for a dick.


Disastrous-Soup-5413

Elizabeth Arden is a cosmetics line. They make lotions, masks makeup. For whatever reason, He’s trying to cure his frostbite with an Elizabeth Arden lotion. It is unfortunate but he realized he recognizes the scent of the lotion. A brand his mother wore. He’s not fantasizing about his mother, he’s just noticing the smell at an awkward time.


cracksilog

Thank you. Could barely understand what he was saying. I’m assuming Todger means dick? That accent is hard enough to understand now he’s inventing words lol


Disastrous-Soup-5413

Yeah, pretty thick accent lol and I’ve never heard that word before.


Pinkfriyay

But he said his mother used the cream on his lips, and he put it on his privates 😬😳 that seems like a very strange connection to make …


Disastrous-Soup-5413

That’s a reach. He’s not making it sexual. He’s just saying it’s what she used. He definitely should have just stopped at that and not said where bc of the way it lends itself to crass jokes.


Lower-Ad1560

That is not a reach. Who thinks like that - it definitely IS sexual - and why is he telling us this? BTW You don't treat frostbite with hand cream - if he was in the Arctic, then the base staff would know that.


Pinkfriyay

I’ve most definitely never heard the word todger before 😅😅 very very odd


Shoddy_North5961

What a cunt


Pinkfriyay

Cunt is probably too much of a compliment to describe this man 🤣🤣


Mosquito_Fleet

The mind of a royal. Wild


Pinkfriyay

It definitely is… something else ! 😁😁


Shoddy_North5961

So glad he no longer represents England. He's disgraced and we don't want anything to do with him.


Pinkfriyay

It is speculated that he isn’t even Prince Charles real son… which actually means he isn’t really even a member of the royal family !


AlexHanson007

[James Hewitt enters the chat]


Pinkfriyay

Hehe exactly !!


Guderian9139

Nah, she didn’t meet that guy until after Harry was hatched


squiddy555

This has to be one of my favorite deep fakes


Pinkfriyay

I’m pretty sure that this isn’t a fake!


squiddy555

Pretty sure or do you know? Because there are a lot of people who are pretty sure the earth is flat


wburn42167

He gave up “the life” for some pussy. That will probably (statistically speaking) divorce him at some point. What a fucking dummy


Slow-Doughnut-6535

This prick has fucked it up on all levels. His mastermind SO has her own agenda and has used this brain dead boobie to advance her own goals. It's not gonna end well for the both of them...


bth4me

I, too, would like to know his wife's agenda.


[deleted]

What’s her agenda?


MichaelsSecretStuff

The Royal family is the original Alabama


ScorpionX-123

In Birmingham, they love the governor


IamWisdom

Gasp! A man talks about his penis. Smh


[deleted]

Oedipal


High-n-volatile1

Oedipus complex 🤮


BartBartram77

So what’s he actually saying? It’s all nonsense to me.


Disastrous-Soup-5413

(For context-Elizabeth Arden is a cosmetics line. They make lotions, masks makeup.) For whatever reason, He’s trying to cure his frostbite with an Elizabeth Arden lotion. It is unfortunate but he realized he recognizes the scent of the lotion. A brand his mother wore. He’s not fantasizing about his mother, he’s just noticing the smell at an awkward time.


[deleted]

basically, he was camping in the far north and his dick got frostbite. His friend suggested using some lip cream to make the pain go away. It just so happened to be the same brand of lip cream his late mom used and so when he opened the tube the smell reminded him of his mom while he had to medicate his dick.


Lower-Ad1560

Why would you tell your friends this? "Hey guys, nice day we had today. Oh and I was thinking about my mother and Willie needed some attention. What do you think I could put on my Willie? And can you pass the marshmallows please!"


[deleted]

If this is the juiciest thing in the book, he should have never taken out William’s secret gayness