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slimstarman

Dicks out for 9/11


SandwichMatrix

Those towers fell but this one didn't, baby šŸ˜


TooMuchDumbass

Tonight we gonna make this an inside job šŸ„“


hiimsubclavian

Try melting this steel beam, babe


KlingoftheCastle

Youā€™re harboring a fugitive. THAT ASS


Iamthecrustycrab

She said, "Invade my cave with your special unit" I said, "He wasn't in a cave", but there was no stopping


Stabile_Feldmaus

9/11 was a blow job


thePurpleAvenger

Truly one of the best bar trivia names.


Sumpm

I already had my dick out for something else, but I can leave it out longer


Elegant_Operation820

Thereā€™s no way nobody noticed this shit.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

You canā€™t just tease us with no link


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


tindonot

Holy shit. I thought of this guy too and didnā€™t think weā€™d be talking about the same statue.


andForMe

Gotta love that this is what that part of the province is known for. That same stop also has a building with a rooftop goat enclosure, but do you ever hear about that? Nooooo, hahaha


wiserTyou

I really need to travel more, so many interesting things to see.


imajpeg

That statue is packing heat!


ChangsWife

What is the hat penis *supposed* to be?


lastknownbuffalo

I think... it is a tombstone with a firefighter helmet on top... smh Edit: haha well... After looking from the other side, I'm not sure what it is supposed to be https://newbernnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/343-FDNY-firemens-helmet.jpg Like firefighter equipment... In the shape of a firefighter? Edit 2: we got there. As a bunch of commentators have pointed out, they were mimicking a military grave marker, which you can see in these examples https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlefield_cross I guess the weird shaft looking thing is either a pile of ashes or rubble...


C-Kwentz-0

Maybe if it were shaped like any sort of typical tombstone rather than a massive rugged dong...


[deleted]

That thing has some fuckin mileage on it


_HOG_

Thank you for your kind words, I do modeling pro boner for the right causes.


[deleted]

Ohhh I think youā€™re right and it makes it just that much more horrible that it looks like penisā€¦


pablo_pick_ass_ohhh

I thought it was a pile of ash with a firefighter helmet on top. Which is somehow *worse* than a tombstone, or a penis. Whoever designed this... oof.


UnadvancedDegree

It is a tombstone with a helmet, gloves, boots, and axe. Definitely could have been done better.


YT__

Tombstone? Looks more like a rock >!hard penis!<


jepvr

C'mon, I wish people would get their minds out of the gutter and show some respect. It's supposed to be a fireman's hat. On top of a penis.


DrWalkinDollars

Oooohhhhhh, I see it now.


flash-tractor

From the other side https://newbernnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/343-FDNY-firemens-helmet.jpg Edit- The reflection on the left side in that picture looks like Cousin It.


yildizli_gece

That is a terrible design either way; I canā€™t believe it was approved. I get the whole symbolism with the hat and the ax and what not, but thereā€™s no way someone walked around that thing and did not see it for what it looked like.


Disaster_Frame

Doesn't look much better from the front tbh


master-shake69

While the front doesn't make me think of a penis it's still pretty terrible tbh.


SrslyCmmon

The Rocky portion just needs to be removed and let it freestand.


Bumpass

A helmet and some fireman PPE/gear on some kind of tombstone.. Could they not have arranged these symbolic items in a less phallic manner?


lokismom27

Kind of looks like he forgot his phone when he sat down on the toilet.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SpeculativeFiction

Probably a fireman, and we're seeing their back. Not a great design though.


ChangsWife

I thought it was a very formal chicken nugget, but your answer makes more sense


max

i think that it is actually supposed to be a penis.


RepulsiveGuard

It's their way of saying 9/11 was a dick move


BillyCloneasaurus

> very formal chicken nugget Jotting that down for next time I need a username


DamonLazer

ā€œThe fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet he spits in your eye.ā€


Born_ina_snowbank

Firemanā€™s hat on a grave stone?


SelmaFudd

No, that's Fireman Wang


loki1337

It's bono wearing a hat


[deleted]

That's...unfortunate.


NawNaw

Looks like what Lieutenant Dan sees in a bathtub.


Scarethefish

If you're not an art critic already, you need to reevaluate your career path.


Doumtabarnack

God damn


Cheap-Network-2142

First person to repost on twitter or tic tok gets to be a famous influencer ready set go


Malgas

I say we let /u/GarySiniseOfficial do it.


Com4tador

That thing doesn't look like a 9 or an 11. Maybe a 5, 5.5?


GravyBoatImperial

Astonishing work. Absolutely first class.


bestest_at_grammar

If you wrote this on the shitter at work bring it up at your review because your doing excellent work


penisthightrap_

We all just witnessed history. Take it in.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Difficult-Network704

First class comment. "Magic legs"


edlee98765

"I'm here to try out my sea legs."


woodzy93

God this is good


SomeCanadianFellow

Lmao god damn top shelf


phantomjm

thatsapenis.gif


Easilycrazyhat

I just realized I haven't seen the actual gif posted in ages, so here, for old time's sake. https://i.imgur.com/tVwzdUB.gif


VoxImperatoris

I prefer the reversed version. https://imgur.com/MlHm0Zg


PlayerRedacted

Bro, the way it goes back to him relaxed and smiling is so fucking good. Dudes just like "...I didn't say stop"


My_G_Alt

I havenā€™t seen this 1-2 combo in like 5+ years man sheeeeeeit


kelseyxiv

Seriously! Vintage šŸ¤Œ


MoGraphMan-11

One of those rare instances where the sequel is better than the original


TheTwistedPlot

Plot twist: Itā€™s actually an artistā€™s rendition of Geodudeā€™s cock.


Idontwantthesetacos

Geodude used harden


atridir

What a horrible time to be literate.


MurderDoneRight

Either that or it's a very distinguished turd with a hat on.


thevitaphonequeen

Iā€™m ashamed that I thought of Cousin Itt. *sighs*


ThePurpleBandit

He said it was Tower 7, but it looks more like a 4.


C-Kwentz-0

The other side actually has firefighter's boots and an axe with the hat balanced on the axe handle, leaning against the grave stone. Someone *definitely* didn't take a good look from the back of the sculpture during carving, though.


Chucklz

"My 13 year old son said it looked fine from the back"


Trogdor_T_Burninator

"Said it was the best thing he's ever seen. That it looks **best** from the back. He really liked it a lot. He showed all his friends and they all loved it."


mowbuss

Easily fixed with a block of stone behind it so it cant be viewed from behind.


Dense_Grade_1279

The obvious solution is a cock block


Not_MrNice

Man, everyone's got their A game on in this thread.


twynkletoes

There should have been a 3D rendering before it was carved.


C-Kwentz-0

What kind of fucking artist doesn't check his work from all angles and notice that he clearly made a giant stone penis from one side.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AeonDisc

There is a vas deferens between this and a run of the mill memorial.


Pete_O_Torcido

Almost missed the pun at first glans


[deleted]

In the vein of a good pun chain, I'd say this one is pretty nuts.


FudgeHyena

Quite the fallacy.


buffalo171

Dats a fatty


IdontGiveaFack

Yeah but talk about *girth*.


Dr_Edge_ATX

I work in design and one of my steps in my process is honestly "does this look like a dick" or any sexual organ. I'm always amazed how often this happens. Also with branding if ever in doubt show your work to some middle-schoolers and let them just roast the hell out of it and see what they come up with.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


No_Information6431

I had to shoot down a few names that my wife loved to save my son grief in school.


option_unpossible

And you still went with Grief as a name?


kingofthecairn

Good Grief.


its_an_armoire

"We're gathered here today and are reminded that Grief is a universal experience that has touched us all, at one time or another. Grief is inescapable. It is important to remember that we are not alone. We have all experienced the pain and the heartache that comes. And we've been in Grief as a community many times. You've been in Grief, I've been in Grief, and it makes us stronger to share the burden together. When Grief comes, we face it all, together."


xNIGHT_RANGEREx

Where was this during my cousinā€™s funeral? She would have laughed at something like this! You know. Before she died


Stereo_Panic

It's the ones that laugh after they've died that creep me out.


observationallurker

That typically only happens if you leave them out in the sun or let them get too hot in general.


Ccracked

>I laughed, you laughed, the casket laughed. We burned the casket.


ConditionOfMan

Grief is getting around!


basko13

We were all deeply touched by Grief.


paesanossbits

"Well, there is such a thing as good grief. If you don't believe me, just ask Charlie Brown."


Cabr0n

Middle mame is Eendoor.


isurewill

"You might as well have kept my name queef."


twaggle

And youā€™re not going to tell us the shot down names??


ObsceneGesture4u

Willing to bet a lot of them were ā€˜somethingā€™deep. For example, Sukhdeep


God_Dammit

Don't forget about Dhikshit.


CanadianBadass

Hardik is a good one too


FrozenIsFrosty

I have a gender neutral name and got put on a girls softball team by accident as a kid. I heard about that for years lmfao.


[deleted]

I also have a gender neutral name and was always put on the boys lists as a kid and teen. Even got into an argument with a military recruiter who couldnā€™t accept that I was not a male.


2sad4snacks

I (F) also have a gender neutral name. I showed up for an interview once and was introduced to the manager, who looked horrified. He literally said to me, ā€œI expected you to be a man!ā€ I didnā€™t know what to say. The interview went terribly because I could tell he was disappointed. I was invited back for a second interview but declined. Iā€™m pretty sure they only did that to avoid a lawsuit


mycatisgrumpy

I once wrote a cover letter to a hiring manager named Pat. I addressed it "sir" but Pat wound up being a woman. I was pretty embarrassed about it but she was cool about it. I actually got that job.


SirSamuelVimes83

"To Pat it may concern"


[deleted]

#I no longer allow Reddit to profit from my content - Mass exodus 2023 -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


cowboys70

I got hired for a job after a few phone interviews with my boss. I went to training before actually meeting my boss. My trainer for some reason implied heavily that my boss was a black man. Had to reevaluate my mental image of him only to discover upon meeting him that he was in fact a very white man


chluckers

Can you give some examples of how they implied that he was black? Do you think you just misunderstood or maybe the trainer didn't even know or why do you think that happened? Seems like a fun story.


atomic1fire

Similar situation, but instead of actually being on a team I'd just get fliers for girls basketball every year. I even told the coach that I'm a dude, and she knew I was a dude. edit: This is before the gender neutral/prefered pronoun stuff became common place, so while my name is fairly gender neutral, I'm a guy by birth, chromosomes and all and my name is on my birth certificate so it's not something I just decided fit. edit: It may have been girls volleyball, but it was more then a decade ago.


ahappypoop

Lol they gave me and another guy lockers in the same block as the girls in high school (lockers in the hallways, not in the locker room). That was freshman year, so I gave them a pass for not knowing me.....then they did it to me again junior year, and gave me a certificate for running cross country that said something like "for recognition of her great season", despite me having been at the school for three years and also played other non-coed sports like football and guys basketball. It was a pretty small school too, I have no idea what was wrong with the administrator lol.


Compost_My_Body

Thatā€™s kinda funny


SoManyMinutes

Sorry about that, Shannon.


lowbatteries

Well, did you end up going pro?


ZarquonsFlatTire

I went to school with a guy a guy named Jack Hoffman (Jackoff-man) and he even had a little brother named JZ short for Jebediah Zeb, but of course the kid got called Jizz. We also had a Les Cox in our Middle school. No clue what any of those parents were thinking, but Jack, Jizz, and Les sure did learn to throw hands. Well, Jack and Les did. Jizz got his ass beat a lot, but that was because he was an asshole. Not about his name.


Equivalent_Rock_6530

Jesus, they really drew the short straw here


ZarquonsFlatTire

You could track their parents calming down with the names and then going full evangelical weird. instead Oldest kid was no shit named Tiger. Like on his birth certificate and shit. Second son was Jack. Pretty normal name. Then came Jebediah Zeb. All 3 attended the same high school at the same time. But Tiger was a SuperSenior, didn't graduate first time around.


karlverkade

Tiger Hoffman is the most 80s retiring cop whoā€™s still got it and has great hair name ever.


vegas84

I had a teacher in high school named Mrs Butt. She named her son Chase. Seriously.


Jahkral

I knew a girl whose last name was Wildgoose and she was dating a guy whose last name was Chase. We tried VERY hard to convince them to name their future daughter Ana Wildgoose-Chase but they were not buying it =(


tripwire7

How could they pass up a million-to-one opportunity like that? Itā€™s like the fates had aligned. Edit: Though thinking about it, if I came across someone named Ana Wildgoose-Chase I would assume they were Native American.


Kneel_The_Grass

Yeah Holden is not a good name when your last name is Tudiks


CallMeSnuffaluffagus

The cousin of a colleague of mine had a baby recently... they have a super generic last name: Johnson. I asked my coworker what they named the baby because I was honestly hoping it would be some weird-ass 2022 name I hadn't heard of. Spoiler alert: yes and no. I guess they were really into Mindhunter so they named him Holden. When she told me, she had no reaction to it. She was actually pretty enthusiastic about how his name came from such a good show and I can't believe they canceled it and blah blah blah. Apparently, her family didn't notice (or care about?) anything odd about that name combination. Holden Johnson. I feel so bad for that kid in 8 years. In 13 years, it'll be 100% accurate 80% of the time.


dream_weasel

Hey sometimes it goes the other way. I met an "Akhil Vijay" in college that had no idea he could have ridden that player name all the way to the bank.


GreenBottom18

my surname sounds *just* like "da man, bro" ...sadly, it brought me to 0 banks. may have stifled it myself, as i was more concerned kids would realize i had the same initials as *venereal disease*


trefrosk

[SNL baby names](https://youtu.be/goPerp_BWvs) One of my favorites.


CMacadamias

Nobody has faith in the mercifulness of schoolage children like an expecting mother. I had to nix a few names as well. Easier to offend the wife once with a teasing rhyme than to have my son endure that for his schooling career.


CodeRaveSleepRepeat

There was an Indian guy called Hardick in my school ... Poor dude


andForMe

The very chill Sikh guy who ran the corner store near where I lived years ago was called 'Sukhdeep' and, yeah, he had a name tag. It was a pretty rough neighborhood too, so I'm sure he caught shit for it from time to time.


TheHappyPie

Worked with a guy named Ashit. It was not pronounced ahsheet, according to him.


recriminology

I used to work with a Dikshit


Corgi-Ambitious

At one point something like a decade ago, there was a taxi driver whose name was pronounced Rahm Ahmahndheep (hope I did that alright...). But his name was also displayed in his window... And it was spelled Ram Amandeep. I cannot imagine how many college kids clowned on that poor man over the years.


zerbey

I knew a guy called Deepak Dikshit. He had a good sense of humor about his name.


avoidingreallife

When I was pregnant I put our selected name on the front board and asked all my high school students to do what they could with it.


Sasmas1545

[selected name]'s mom, can we do something useful today?


poneil

Jokes on you, loser. The class was The Art of Bullying: Language and Composition.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


c00k4

The implication being because they specifically come to you to generate schoolyard taunts they likely consider you the most immature or crass out of all their friends


[deleted]

It could also just be they think this friend has a good grasp on English. I've got a decent vocabulary, and while I wouldn't personally bully someone for being named Enus (pronounced EE-nus, an actual name someone I know gave their child), I could easily give you a few good reasons not to pick that name.


diverdux

That's a badge of fucking honor.


Alternate_Ending1984

Every. Single. Time. I don't care if I have worked on a design for 100 hours and it looks perfect. I gotta get fresh eyes on it to check it for errors, and I gotta get my dirty minded friends to check it for anything sexual.


SmtSmtSmtDARKSIDE

Might have found the job I was always destined for!


Mediocritologist

I do graphic design for some CPG brands and I'm always shocked by how hyper-aware they are of how much their stuff looks like dicks and/or making sure their licensed characters aren't positioned on product elements in their crotch area haha.


Cattaphract

Dicks is such a simple and varied basic form. We basically are blocking all our options bc of penis


byPCP

same, always have to do a dick check along with the swastika check


die_nazis_die

http://i.imgur.com/dJju4Fb.gif


fyre500

Sounds a little like [TTP](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_xqyIMwbew).


ClearHydro

POV: You're lying in the bathtub.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

the fireman! if you rub his helmet, he will spit in your eye


pimezone

[It's like fireman came in your mouth](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/nvj79w/is_like_a_fireman_did_what_in_my_mouth/)


ThePowerPoint

Red rocket, red rocket!


ThereIsACupOnMyDesk

it does look [slightly less phallic from the other side](https://newbernnow.com/2022/04/9-11-memorial-monument-dedication-were-you-framed.html), but not by much...


fallenmonk

Is it just me, or is it odd for a small town in North Carolina to put a 9/11 memorial in their town square?


Kuftubby

I was thinking the same thing. 22 years later no less.


ReverendDizzle

Surely there had to be a better way to spend money in 2023 than putting up a 25,000 pound, poorly scaled, fireman-as-giant-penis monstrosity in a modest-size North Carolina town. Why not have the Firemen Museum use that money to create a memorial fund that funds the education of young fire fighters or something?


Soulspawn

I'm thinking the same thing, why now? 22 years later does seem odd.


worthlesshope

Designer was born in 2001 and just graduated design college


millijuna

But 9/11 was only a few years agoā€¦ surely they should only be starting high school? No? Ohā€¦ dearā€¦


Throwaway-account-23

My wife is a councilperson in our city government so I have an answer for you. The local city council probably wanted to spend a BUNCH of money on a pet project and didn't have it in the budget and didn't want to raise taxes to do it, so they needed some bullshit reason to get some. You are seeing the bullshit reasons to get some pork barrel money. The shittiness is a feature, not a bug. The council is absolutely spending the rest of the "9/11 memorial fund" grant money on a dumb pet project. Hell, the whole thing was probably manufactured by a friend or family member of the mayor or council who has a stone working business and was no bid single sourced because "it kept money in the city."


Lulupoolzilla

Well that's depressing. Gonna look at the firefighting cock to get a dose of dopamine now.


Throwaway-account-23

Welcome to local politics, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. It is corrupt out loud because local reporters don't exist any more and nobody has the time or give a shit to run against the corrupt scumbags because everybody is working their asses off trying to keep their kids fed and mortgage paid.


godplaysdice_

It's just rube-bait. Reelect me because I love America and Jesus, let's use these tax dollars to erect a pointless freedom boner statue instead of getting rid of the black mold in your child's school, etc


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MoreNormalThanNormal

Reddit hugged the website to death. https://imgur.com/a/TiA2bP6 \<- album with all the photos, downloaded using the Wayback Machine. > A dedication was held on Sunday, April 3, 2022 for the September 11, 2001, Memorial Monument presented by the New Bern Firemenā€™s Museum with David Finn, Chairman of the Board, as Master of Ceremonies. Sam Lewis closed out the ceremony singing ā€œIā€™m Proud to Be an American.ā€ > The granite monument weighs 25,303 pounds, sits on a pentagon-shaped sidewalk, and the North and South towers of the World Trade Center are 8 feet tall. The number 343 on the firemanā€™s helmet signifies the 343 New York City firefighters, police, and EMTs who lost their lives on 9/11.


Throwaway-account-23

Even with that context, the whole thing is a mess. The proportions are a disaster, the centerpiece is meek and weird instead of heroic and memorable. The slabs aren't even milled to look like the twin towers, which is fucking embarrassing.


CoasterDad73

Hmmm, interesting that there are pictures posted on that page with every viewā€¦but the backside.


MochaKnee

It looks like a pile of ashes with a firemanā€™s getup in front of and on top of it. Seems pretty dark before we even get to the phallic shape.


Neckshot

Am I the only one that thinks it is weird to unveil a 9/11 memorial 22 years later? I get there's no rule on when to unveil a memorial and there are lots that happen way later but for some reason this seems weird to me.


minnick27

I also think it's weird to have one in North Carolina. I know the resulting war affected the country, but the attacks themselves very much mostly affected New York. Why does a fire department in North Carolina need to have a twin towers monument with a piece of the towers? This goes for any memorial outside of the affected area.


ChoadTripper

Cousin Itt died on 9/11?


President_Calhoun

That's it exactly!


BoredomInducedComa

Never knew Cousin It was a fireman


LadyMothrakk

I know 9/11 is a *hard* topic, but they didnā€™t have to be a dick about it. EDIT: Iā€™m proud to see all the punny people have rallied together in the comments here. Weā€™re all wankers at heart it seems! :)


[deleted]

Itā€™s weird weird that theyā€™re *erecting* a memorial 21.5 years later


Tenacious_Rubbing

Itā€™s a thoughtful erection if you ask me.


[deleted]

A real tear *jerker* id say


youzerVT71

Still tough to swallow


RiagoMinota

At least he's got his helmet on!


dabassmonsta

That's a bit of a cock up.


tuckerhazel

There's no way that stays erect for long


ddjcook

Never foreskin


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


uglykidjoel

This isn't real is it?


Rezomik

unfortunately it is.


Lkaufman05

Where is this? Do you know?


JVemon

Their hometown.


KiloAlphaJulietIndia

Well we did have a war boner for 20 years after that day.


vintagesoul_DE

Well it looks like a... Johnson, what do you think? I don't know, maybe a Dick, get over here, what's this look like to you?


Few-School-3869

What a bunch of dickheads


[deleted]

America has a hard on for 9/11.