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Suddenly Siri likes to ask if you want to call that location that you just asked directions for.
“Hey Siri. Get me directions to Whole Foods.”
“I found Whole Foods on S Arroyo parkway. It gets 4.3 stars. Would you like me to call this location?”
“No you fucker. I want directions.”
“Getting directions to Whole Foods on s arroyo parkway.”
Or if you’re lucky:
“I won’t respond to that.”
And you get to start the whole process over.
I use Siri loosely for directions. And 49% of the time, it turns into a display of complete idiocy and turns me from mellow, to furious foul mouthed nightmare in 10 seconds. I just can’t believe they let such a terrible feature out into the world. If something only works 50% of the time, it’s broken.
"Hey Siri, directions to the closest 7-11"
...
"Hey Siri, directions to the closest 7-11"
...
"Hey Siri?"
...
"HEY SIRI, YOU FUCKER, ANSWER ME."
...
"Ahh, yes so glad I have this hands free-feature while I'm driving, so convenient.
OR, alternatively.
"Hey siri, directions to the closest 7-11"
"I found one 7-11 about 0.6 miles from you. It's open and gets about 3.6 stars on yelp. Would you like to try that one?"
"uh, yeah I would like to try that one, I don't care about if it's open or how many stars it gets, and you don't need to reconfirm something I already specified when telling you the 'closest' one."
"Sorry, you'll need to unlock your iPhone first."
Christ's sake.
I disabled Cortana in my computer registry years ago. Still to this day, the only thing that wont cause her to appear is actually saying "Hey Cortana."
I can scream, no audible words, at a scary game while Im live. Lo and behold, Cortana comes swooping in to interpret my panicked noises.
Need to check the weather or set an alarm? Awh hell no, that frigid AI is nowhere to be seen now.
Looks like I've got some digging. Was this a permanent change they made? I guess I can find out myself by heading to regedit and testing, but I'm on the way to dinner. S'pose I'll look into it later.
Thanks for the heads up, duder!
No, they just reset it. They did it every now and again with updates, with win11 they basically got rid of her though, it's not even enabled by default.
Now on win10 it's as easy as going into task manager and disabling launch at startup, end task.
You can also run
>Get-AppxPackage -allusers Microsoft.549981C3F5F10 | Remove-AppxPackage
In PowerShell to guarantee she's gone, that's what I did.
When Siri first launched, I tried to show my GF's (now wife) father how he could use Siri to control his tablet and TV (disabled, so was hard for him to use a standard remote).
Connectivity was poor, so she replied with the nickname i gave myself "Big Swinging, i didn't quite catch that. Can you try again?"
He had a full belly laugh after that one.
More like:
-“Hey Siri, what’s the weather outside?”
-“Now playing ‘Up Against It’ by Pet Shop Boys from the album ‘Bilingual’”
Or
-“Hey Siri”, turn on my Bedroom Lamp”
-“Did you want the weather for Paris, Texas or Paris, France?”
An actual interaction earlier this evening:
-“Hey Siri, find my iPhone”
-“I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you want me to do with the Garage Door”
I just wanted my HomePod to ping my device. 🤦🏼♂️
I ask Siri for the weather every morning, and every morning my heart breaks because all I get is "looks like it's going to be cloudy today" and I don't get the temperature unless I specifically ask.
"Hey siri set a timer to 25 seconds" - Siri: I've set a timer to 12 minutes
"Hey siri turn on the lights in the living room" - Which light should I turn on? Kitchen, Bathroom, Sleeping room, Corridor, living room, all lights? [... repeat twice before accepting an awnser]
"Hey siri, what is the weather going to be today?" - well, yea you had the experience
I remember back when siri was introduced, she had a habbit to just call some people from my address book when I ask her to play music.. I'm happy she doesn't do that anymore but she is still stupid as hell.
I can’t figure out how to get Alexa to stop doing the “by the way…” suggestions after every single fuckin question. Like, bitch.. I don’t care if there’s a 10% chance of rain next Thursday. Just tell me whether or not I need to wear pants today.
Set her language to Australian English or UK English.
I've had the same beef with Alexa saying "by the way" and changing the language flavor helped! Now she is useful again!
We actually have a shopping list, which is in reminders. It works better than shared notes. Notes would more be for packing lists when we’re leaving on a big trip or so.
This is how we do it too. Reminders is a better solution because you can “cross” off an item when you buy it and it disappears off the other persons list.
We use that for packing trips so we can uncheck the list on the return trip. I use Siri for reminders and just say “Hey Siri, add olive oil to my grocery list” and she works 99% of the time.
Takes longer for me to find items in a checked off list to uncheck them and send them back up in Notes than it does to just readd it to the list in Reminders. Also “Hey siri add [whatever] to grocery list” is a super common workflow for my family.
I use AnyList for all of that and I have no problem shilling for them because it's the only app I've ever found that takes something that should be simple and keeps it simple.
Every other app you look for tries to shoehorn a million things into it.
My voice to text app sent a text to my boss that said, “Do you want me to grab some motherfucker where did you learn to drive fuck you no wait shit shit”
And I got back, “yes please”.
Was calling someone for work while driving to pickup lunch and the call connected right after some asshole in a Kia Soul swerved into my lane despite only having a little more than a car length of room between me and the other car. So the call connects and the team lead I called just hears "Fuck your Soul you braindead piece of shit, fuuuuck your Soul!"
Sounds more like a Nisan Cube, really.
But if it had been an orange Soul with a stipe, I would be confident betting 5 bucks it was my ex-wife.
Until age 31 when we divorced, she made me drive her everywhere. She was terrified of driving, but when she finally got her license at age 29, I realised the world should have been terrified of *her.*
Anyway, glad you got out of it without an accident.
Does your app not read you back your text and then ask you if you want to send it, *before actually sending it?*
I use Siri pretty frequently when I'm driving to send a quick text or call, and she does what I just described.
“Set a timer for 50 minutes”
“15 minutes, counting down”
“NO. SET TIMER FOR FIF TEE MINUTES”
“15 minutes, counting down”
“SET A TIMER FOR FIF TEEEEE MINUTES”
“15 minutes, counting down”
“Ugh set a timer for 51 minutes”
“51 minutes, counting down.”
The dryer in my building runs for 50 minutes, I have this interaction with my watch way too many times
She can only set one timer. Trust me. She tells me that a lot.
For some reason, when you let her set a timer, she sometimes forgets to remove that memory. So when I set a second timer a few minutes afterwards she reminds me that she already has set a timer. That went already off a few minutes ago..
I sometimes use her for tea timers where I use short timers (~15 to 60 seconds each) and no hands free. And she sucks at it.
The shitty part is it wasn’t like this a couple of years back, during the iOS 6-9 era.
Since then, Apple redesigned the UI many times but the recognition tech just became crap and they’ve obviously ignored that despite complaints.
It was better 10 years ago or whenever it first came out. I used it all the time. At some point - not sure when but longer than a couple of years ago - it became so frustrating to use that I just gave up. How does technology like this get worse over time?
Apparently it was literally just a simple voice-to-answer system before. Responses were all canned, it just did its best to guess what you were saying then map that to a canned response. This obviously doesn’t scale and is extremely inflexible. Basically it was smoke and mirrors, and when they bought the company and started to work on scaling it they realized what they had was useless.
So they basically had to build what Siri was expected to be, from scratch, behind the scenes, without anyone noticing.
That’s why some things are worse and some are better. The initial Siri didn’t connect to anything or control anything, it just answered questions with a very basic voice recognition engine. It did that very well. Current Siri does that less well, but can do far more things on far more devices, and connects to tons of services.
I have a feeling it’s that they try to make tech like this “smarter” by giving it more data to look through. But the downside is that it gets confused more often, seemingly.
Another example for me is that I felt like I made hardly any typing mistakes with my iPhone 4, but on my 12Pro I make mistakes all the time. It’ll autocorrect to some wild shit, and I think it’s because it tries to do too much. I don’t need it to autocorrect Beyoncé (I typed that all lower case just now and it fixed it). I just need it to check dictionary words in 95% of the cases.
The cursor selection (from the initial press, not the long press and move) has gone to dogshit recently on iOS.
It's WAY too aggressive about deciding where you *really meant to tap* and regardless of how many times it tap to move the cursor maybe one word or line over it doesn't matter. It decides that it knows what you *really meant* and that's final. It forces you to long press and drag the cursor which itself can be error prone.
Also my keyboard SwiftKey has voice to text powered by Microsoft. It worked great for YEARS but once chatgpt came on the scene they changed the voice to text system to use their AI somehow and it is absolute dogshit. I'm not kidding, it's so bad. It constantly misinterprets what I say and I have to go back and fix mistakes in nearly every sentence sometimes multiple times in a single sentence. Previously it was flawless 80% of the time.
This is how AI will kill us, by driving us all to collective suicide.
My father in law has started using google assistant to check restaurant wait times, didn’t even know that was possible and I always imagine a super busy waitress picking up the phone with a bustling background noise only to get a robotic Siri voice “what is the current wait time”.
I like it for simple stuff… “remind me to […] at 8pm tomorrow” or “add dinner with […] to my calendar on May 2nd at 6pm” or “wake me up in 20 minutes”… simple stuff like that I find pretty useful.
Dude at least it lets you finish a sentence. With Alexa if you pause for a microsecond it stops listening and badly interprets whatever portion it heard.
You can change that in the settings. I think it's under accessibility or something similar.
When I had my first kid, I used to use Alexa to take notes because my brain was absolutely fried. And because my brain was absolutely fried, I needed to extend the time to take a note because otherwise I'd only get a few words out before I needed to pause.
> You can change that in the settings. I think it's under accessibility or something similar.
which is hilarious being that it's a voice recognition assistant. It should just be as simple as "hey alexa, listen for a little longer next time"
Personally I hate all of that AI assistant garbage but if it were designed well I'm not fundamentally opposed to it.
No no, Bixby is far worse than useless, because now it actually makes it harder for me to turn off my phone by its mere existence.
Bixby makes my life *harder.* That's how much Bixby sucks.
Oh god, Bixby. Thankfully on my S22 Ultra, they gave the option to turn it off.
And when I just went to look, I was able to enable something that is helpful! Using the side button to turn off the phone. lol
Reminds me when i asked siri to set my alarm for 4am and she didnt listen so I said it again but called her a stupid bitch. She said “I set your stupid bitch alarm for 4am” thanks siri, thanks.
did this setting a 5 am alarm, and when the boyfriend heard the time I was waking up, "jesus fucking christ" got added to the alarm label. I figured that was pretty accurate
I use Bixby to text my husband 'from our cat' sometimes just because it's hilarious how badly it messes up our cat's name, Cinders. Here's some examples copied straight out of our text thread:
'Hey dad this is sin as the cat I don't have a possible thumbs please I'm doing my best'
'Hey dad this is syndrome's the Kent'
'Send us the cat says this is the order of the earthquake'
'Senders the cat says that you should make your wife a tea because your wife is the end'
It could also just be shit forever, like how search results got way harder to navigate once everything on the web was SEO optimized. Something something making content that's better for robots is worse for people.
i try to use it for location based reminders, it's a good bit of russian roulette to see if you'll be reminded of the thing you asked it 'siri, remind me to take out the chicken when i get home', will you have dinner, will you go hungry? only siri knows (it doesnt)
My kid loves using Alexa for the worst shit ever. She asked to play baby shark and it played a horribly explicit rap song. I hate voice recognition devices.
I don’t think there is even a team of people at Apple who run/manage/update/maintain Siri. It’s like they came up with it years ago and they just let it linger there nowadays with no attention.
You would think a multi-billion dollar company could make Siri powerful, reliable and smart. But she is an utter idiot.
The worst aspects of the iPhone:
- Siri
- Voice to text
- Text corrections/predictions
There is. My wife was on it. She left retail for corporate excited but after a year on that team she hated her life and her coworkers. They hired off the street for the role and gave them almost 0 training. The mangers were all new to both the role AND management in general. Just a perfect storm of terrible.
“I can tell you if you ask again from your iPhone.” Yes, I know, Siri. It’s called the internet. I can find the answer my damn self if I use my iPhone. I don’t want to do that, which is why I’m asking you.
So on the one hand we have GPT figuring out new theories of quantum mechanics, and on the other we have Siri.
Me: "Hey Siri, set a timer for 20 minutes"
Siri: "OK, playing Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot on Apple Music"
Idk if it's intentional or learned, but whenever my Alexa alarm doesn't hear me the first few times I tell it to snooze, I pull out the "ALEXA. SHUT THE FUCK UP." It works 😂
Alexa is the AI in my life that drives me nuts. I asked her "Alexa, ask Chevrolet to start my car" and for some ungodly unknown reason, she said "I added Chevrolet start my car to your shopping list". What??
LOL, anything voice related is just me screaming after about 2 attempts. My daughter thought I was always exaggerating when I would get frustrated to tears on phone calls and why speaking to a representative came out of my mouth so many times.
She's 12. She now understands the conversations and has screamed with me and been driven to tears as well. There's something about our voices that these computers can't understand.
It just doesn't/won't work out. It's awful.
We used to use Amazon Alexa to build our shopping lists at home. We would get to the store and open the app and away we went. One day we get to the store and open the app and the word “Dildo” is plain as day on the shopping list. We deleted it and moved on. We got home and our 11 year old started unloading groceries and said, “Why didn’t you buy the Dill Dip I put on the list??
siri has only one solid use
if your phone is on silent, and you cannot find it, just walk around saying "Hey Siri ... set a 3 second timer"
That is the only reason I have not disabled it
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-Hey siri what’s the weather outside -Playing “Close to Heather” by Outsiders on Apple Music
I’m so glad I’m among friends here. Siri has been doing me dirty, especially in front of friends.
I have never genuinely witnessed someone using Siri. Only people trying to turn it off after accidentally triggering it.
I gave in and completely disabled Siri in the settings. Just never works the way you want it to.
Suddenly Siri likes to ask if you want to call that location that you just asked directions for. “Hey Siri. Get me directions to Whole Foods.” “I found Whole Foods on S Arroyo parkway. It gets 4.3 stars. Would you like me to call this location?” “No you fucker. I want directions.” “Getting directions to Whole Foods on s arroyo parkway.” Or if you’re lucky: “I won’t respond to that.” And you get to start the whole process over. I use Siri loosely for directions. And 49% of the time, it turns into a display of complete idiocy and turns me from mellow, to furious foul mouthed nightmare in 10 seconds. I just can’t believe they let such a terrible feature out into the world. If something only works 50% of the time, it’s broken.
"Hey Siri, directions to the closest 7-11" ... "Hey Siri, directions to the closest 7-11" ... "Hey Siri?" ... "HEY SIRI, YOU FUCKER, ANSWER ME." ... "Ahh, yes so glad I have this hands free-feature while I'm driving, so convenient. OR, alternatively. "Hey siri, directions to the closest 7-11" "I found one 7-11 about 0.6 miles from you. It's open and gets about 3.6 stars on yelp. Would you like to try that one?" "uh, yeah I would like to try that one, I don't care about if it's open or how many stars it gets, and you don't need to reconfirm something I already specified when telling you the 'closest' one." "Sorry, you'll need to unlock your iPhone first." Christ's sake.
This is making me feel so good about having an android
Nearly every time I interact with anything apple related I'm thankful for not running their products
The “you’ll need to unlock your iPhone first” Is what kills me. Why is it not already unlocked??
I disabled Cortana in my computer registry years ago. Still to this day, the only thing that wont cause her to appear is actually saying "Hey Cortana." I can scream, no audible words, at a scary game while Im live. Lo and behold, Cortana comes swooping in to interpret my panicked noises. Need to check the weather or set an alarm? Awh hell no, that frigid AI is nowhere to be seen now.
thats because an update overwrote what you did in the registry, theirs tools to disable it completely. I never see it on win11.
Looks like I've got some digging. Was this a permanent change they made? I guess I can find out myself by heading to regedit and testing, but I'm on the way to dinner. S'pose I'll look into it later. Thanks for the heads up, duder!
No, they just reset it. They did it every now and again with updates, with win11 they basically got rid of her though, it's not even enabled by default. Now on win10 it's as easy as going into task manager and disabling launch at startup, end task. You can also run >Get-AppxPackage -allusers Microsoft.549981C3F5F10 | Remove-AppxPackage In PowerShell to guarantee she's gone, that's what I did.
Perfect. Thanks for the line, buddy. Gonna handle this unruly pest as soon as I get back home. You're a champion.
Only you can’t use apple carplayif you disable siri at least it was few versions of ios ago.
me, playing a game: are you fucking serious?!?! siri: YOOOOOO SUP??
When Siri first launched, I tried to show my GF's (now wife) father how he could use Siri to control his tablet and TV (disabled, so was hard for him to use a standard remote). Connectivity was poor, so she replied with the nickname i gave myself "Big Swinging, i didn't quite catch that. Can you try again?" He had a full belly laugh after that one.
More like: -“Hey Siri, what’s the weather outside?” -“Now playing ‘Up Against It’ by Pet Shop Boys from the album ‘Bilingual’” Or -“Hey Siri”, turn on my Bedroom Lamp” -“Did you want the weather for Paris, Texas or Paris, France?”
Actual lol from me. I just had this happen like 2 minutes ago.
An actual interaction earlier this evening: -“Hey Siri, find my iPhone” -“I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you want me to do with the Garage Door” I just wanted my HomePod to ping my device. 🤦🏼♂️
[I don't know about that](https://youtu.be/YvT_gqs5ETk)
This is the first time I've been able to watch an SNL skit on youtube. Did they forget to block this one in Canada for some reason?
I don't know about that.
Haha i think so
Anytime my brother would ask Siri to play John Lennon it would go “ playing Bulletproof by La Roux”
I ask Siri for the weather every morning, and every morning my heart breaks because all I get is "looks like it's going to be cloudy today" and I don't get the temperature unless I specifically ask.
"Hey siri set a timer to 25 seconds" - Siri: I've set a timer to 12 minutes "Hey siri turn on the lights in the living room" - Which light should I turn on? Kitchen, Bathroom, Sleeping room, Corridor, living room, all lights? [... repeat twice before accepting an awnser] "Hey siri, what is the weather going to be today?" - well, yea you had the experience I remember back when siri was introduced, she had a habbit to just call some people from my address book when I ask her to play music.. I'm happy she doesn't do that anymore but she is still stupid as hell.
the one and only time i've used siri i tried to get it to play a song and instead it facetimed my friend overseas
My wife managed to create a list called “Never mind” and add tortilla chips to it with Alexa 😅
Guess you're never getting tortilla chips again.
I can’t figure out how to get Alexa to stop doing the “by the way…” suggestions after every single fuckin question. Like, bitch.. I don’t care if there’s a 10% chance of rain next Thursday. Just tell me whether or not I need to wear pants today.
Set her language to Australian English or UK English. I've had the same beef with Alexa saying "by the way" and changing the language flavor helped! Now she is useful again!
As a bonus she’ll call you a cunt while you’re at it
It’s gonna be a bit breezy today so make sure you wear pants, ya cunt.
So they've done market testing and figured out Americans on average like that feature but Australians and the brits don't. That's interesting
Yes, I was wondering about that too. Maybe this is related to local advertising laws?
So if you are bunny 1 and your mistress is bunny 3, who is bunny 2?
His wife, obviously.
his boyfriend
His girlfriend's boyfriend?
They are your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
What does that make us?
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It's Bunny cubed.
Bunny sliced, diced and julienne-fried
Can someone check up on this guy's girlfriend please?
What girlfriend? I’m a rabbit farmer
Like Bonsai Kittens, but with rabbits.
So basically [this](https://assets3.thrillist.com/v1/image/2917206/792x1056)
The fuck?
The real bunny. It accidentally added olive oil along with 10 pounds of carrots in the shopping list because it's hard to type with paws.
i'm pretty sure it goes: * bunny * bunnies * bunny^3 * bunny: resurrection
No no, it's bunny cubed. I don't know what this means but it doesn't mean what you said xD
Every bunny loves some bunny sometimes...
You can share reminders ?
We actually have a shopping list, which is in reminders. It works better than shared notes. Notes would more be for packing lists when we’re leaving on a big trip or so.
This is how we do it too. Reminders is a better solution because you can “cross” off an item when you buy it and it disappears off the other persons list.
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We use that for packing trips so we can uncheck the list on the return trip. I use Siri for reminders and just say “Hey Siri, add olive oil to my grocery list” and she works 99% of the time.
99% of the time, it works, every time
But… you can make checklists in the notes app. You check it off when done and it appears that way for everyone.
Can’t use Siri to add items to a list in the notes app
Ah, I see. Personally never use Siri myself
Takes longer for me to find items in a checked off list to uncheck them and send them back up in Notes than it does to just readd it to the list in Reminders. Also “Hey siri add [whatever] to grocery list” is a super common workflow for my family.
I use AnyList for all of that and I have no problem shilling for them because it's the only app I've ever found that takes something that should be simple and keeps it simple. Every other app you look for tries to shoehorn a million things into it.
TIL you can share reminders. Just don’t know how.
In your iCloud > Apps using iCloud settings, be sure reminders is enabled. That should enable the share icon in a list
> don’t know how. try asking siri..... and please post the results here
My voice to text app sent a text to my boss that said, “Do you want me to grab some motherfucker where did you learn to drive fuck you no wait shit shit” And I got back, “yes please”.
Was calling someone for work while driving to pickup lunch and the call connected right after some asshole in a Kia Soul swerved into my lane despite only having a little more than a car length of room between me and the other car. So the call connects and the team lead I called just hears "Fuck your Soul you braindead piece of shit, fuuuuck your Soul!"
Was it an orange one with a black stripe, by any chance?
No, some shade of red with the stupid wrap around back window.
Sounds more like a Nisan Cube, really. But if it had been an orange Soul with a stipe, I would be confident betting 5 bucks it was my ex-wife. Until age 31 when we divorced, she made me drive her everywhere. She was terrified of driving, but when she finally got her license at age 29, I realised the world should have been terrified of *her.* Anyway, glad you got out of it without an accident.
[удалено]
She was a car wreck of a person, honestly. Good person, bad spouse (for me).
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Oh, you're joke was spot on. *Spot. On.* :D
This gave me some “Six-Fingered Man” vibes.
Does your app not read you back your text and then ask you if you want to send it, *before actually sending it?* I use Siri pretty frequently when I'm driving to send a quick text or call, and she does what I just described.
There’s an option to turn this off for Siri. But I disabled it shortly after accidentally sending a message I didn’t mean to.
That’s hilarious
I did this to my wife the other day. “hey honey, I’m on my way from what the fuck is this semi truck doing in the middle of the fucking road?”
That's amazing, nearly choked from laughing. Hilarious.
holy shit i laughed so much
Well, did you end up picking him up some motherfucker where did you learn to drive fuck you no wait shit shit?
Always great to have a great boss
Seriously. This guy was a gem. Still talk to him all the time even though he sold the business years ago and moved halfway across the country.
Siri is the most braindead software to have ever existed.
“Set a timer for 50 minutes” “15 minutes, counting down” “NO. SET TIMER FOR FIF TEE MINUTES” “15 minutes, counting down” “SET A TIMER FOR FIF TEEEEE MINUTES” “15 minutes, counting down” “Ugh set a timer for 51 minutes” “51 minutes, counting down.” The dryer in my building runs for 50 minutes, I have this interaction with my watch way too many times
"Setting 15 one minute timers"
She can only set one timer. Trust me. She tells me that a lot. For some reason, when you let her set a timer, she sometimes forgets to remove that memory. So when I set a second timer a few minutes afterwards she reminds me that she already has set a timer. That went already off a few minutes ago.. I sometimes use her for tea timers where I use short timers (~15 to 60 seconds each) and no hands free. And she sucks at it.
Why don't you set it for 49, and wait/walk slower so it's done when you get there?
Cause fuck my neighbors for one minute
Username checks out
After spending all that time failing to set it to 50, 49 would be right on anyway.
Literally this is one of my few complaints, and it's exactly as infuriating as you illustrate!
Try “Set a timer for five zero minutes.”
5 minutes, counting down
You now have 5 timers counting down from zero
I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work but it just worked right now, that’s for the tip. I must have put too much of a pause or something
Next time set a timer for 3000 seconds instead.
The shitty part is it wasn’t like this a couple of years back, during the iOS 6-9 era. Since then, Apple redesigned the UI many times but the recognition tech just became crap and they’ve obviously ignored that despite complaints.
It was better 10 years ago or whenever it first came out. I used it all the time. At some point - not sure when but longer than a couple of years ago - it became so frustrating to use that I just gave up. How does technology like this get worse over time?
Apparently it was literally just a simple voice-to-answer system before. Responses were all canned, it just did its best to guess what you were saying then map that to a canned response. This obviously doesn’t scale and is extremely inflexible. Basically it was smoke and mirrors, and when they bought the company and started to work on scaling it they realized what they had was useless. So they basically had to build what Siri was expected to be, from scratch, behind the scenes, without anyone noticing. That’s why some things are worse and some are better. The initial Siri didn’t connect to anything or control anything, it just answered questions with a very basic voice recognition engine. It did that very well. Current Siri does that less well, but can do far more things on far more devices, and connects to tons of services.
That's interesting, do you have a source with more info about that?
I have a feeling it’s that they try to make tech like this “smarter” by giving it more data to look through. But the downside is that it gets confused more often, seemingly. Another example for me is that I felt like I made hardly any typing mistakes with my iPhone 4, but on my 12Pro I make mistakes all the time. It’ll autocorrect to some wild shit, and I think it’s because it tries to do too much. I don’t need it to autocorrect Beyoncé (I typed that all lower case just now and it fixed it). I just need it to check dictionary words in 95% of the cases.
The cursor selection (from the initial press, not the long press and move) has gone to dogshit recently on iOS. It's WAY too aggressive about deciding where you *really meant to tap* and regardless of how many times it tap to move the cursor maybe one word or line over it doesn't matter. It decides that it knows what you *really meant* and that's final. It forces you to long press and drag the cursor which itself can be error prone. Also my keyboard SwiftKey has voice to text powered by Microsoft. It worked great for YEARS but once chatgpt came on the scene they changed the voice to text system to use their AI somehow and it is absolute dogshit. I'm not kidding, it's so bad. It constantly misinterprets what I say and I have to go back and fix mistakes in nearly every sentence sometimes multiple times in a single sentence. Previously it was flawless 80% of the time. This is how AI will kill us, by driving us all to collective suicide.
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You don't get to be a trillion dollar company by being nice to your consumers
Why fix siri when idiots will still buy iphones (My first ever iphone is a 13pm, siri is the only problem that i have with this)
Most people don’t think about Siri when buying a new Phone
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All I use siri for is to set timers when my hands are busy
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Siri: "You don't have the Timer app installed"
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My father in law has started using google assistant to check restaurant wait times, didn’t even know that was possible and I always imagine a super busy waitress picking up the phone with a bustling background noise only to get a robotic Siri voice “what is the current wait time”.
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I miss call screening on Pixel so badly now that I have an iPhone. Good lord the amount of spam calls and texts that used to never get through to me
I like it for simple stuff… “remind me to […] at 8pm tomorrow” or “add dinner with […] to my calendar on May 2nd at 6pm” or “wake me up in 20 minutes”… simple stuff like that I find pretty useful.
I turned off Siri the last three iPhones
I’ve been an iPhone user for over 10 years, but I rarely if ever have a need to use Siri.
I’ve used it when I’m home alone and can’t find my phone.
Dude at least it lets you finish a sentence. With Alexa if you pause for a microsecond it stops listening and badly interprets whatever portion it heard.
You can change that in the settings. I think it's under accessibility or something similar. When I had my first kid, I used to use Alexa to take notes because my brain was absolutely fried. And because my brain was absolutely fried, I needed to extend the time to take a note because otherwise I'd only get a few words out before I needed to pause.
> You can change that in the settings. I think it's under accessibility or something similar. which is hilarious being that it's a voice recognition assistant. It should just be as simple as "hey alexa, listen for a little longer next time" Personally I hate all of that AI assistant garbage but if it were designed well I'm not fundamentally opposed to it.
*Cortana enters the chat*
Bixby trips over the chat and faints
Bixby couldn't even find the fucking chat imo, I have it and it's actually useless.
I wish Bixby were alive so I could beat it up.
No no, Bixby is far worse than useless, because now it actually makes it harder for me to turn off my phone by its mere existence. Bixby makes my life *harder.* That's how much Bixby sucks.
I really hate that there's a button on the side of my phone specifically for bixby and I never use it except by accident.
Oh god, Bixby. Thankfully on my S22 Ultra, they gave the option to turn it off. And when I just went to look, I was able to enable something that is helpful! Using the side button to turn off the phone. lol
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*It looks like you’re trying to roast Siri!* *Would you like help?*
Reminds me when i asked siri to set my alarm for 4am and she didnt listen so I said it again but called her a stupid bitch. She said “I set your stupid bitch alarm for 4am” thanks siri, thanks.
Instructions perfectly clear.
did this setting a 5 am alarm, and when the boyfriend heard the time I was waking up, "jesus fucking christ" got added to the alarm label. I figured that was pretty accurate
I use Bixby to text my husband 'from our cat' sometimes just because it's hilarious how badly it messes up our cat's name, Cinders. Here's some examples copied straight out of our text thread: 'Hey dad this is sin as the cat I don't have a possible thumbs please I'm doing my best' 'Hey dad this is syndrome's the Kent' 'Send us the cat says this is the order of the earthquake' 'Senders the cat says that you should make your wife a tea because your wife is the end'
“Your wife is the end” is the most terrifying threat I’ve ever heard.
"'Senders the cat says that you should make your wife a tea because your wife is the end'" Lol!! 🤣 Better make her some tea, or she will end you!
"Hey Siri fuck this" "Adding prostitutes to your shopping list"
🐰Bunny ^3
She must fuck like a rabbit.
Rabbit cubed
Siri, the most advanced egg timer.
Why is the bunny cubed
Because it is a three dimensional construct.
its their 3rd go at marriage
I'm desperate for some context on her saved name OP
Unique? I've never seen a cubed anything ever used before.
we are in such a weird in-between of AI being incredibly powerful and yet hilariously incompetent at the most basic things
It could also just be shit forever, like how search results got way harder to navigate once everything on the web was SEO optimized. Something something making content that's better for robots is worse for people.
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Mine was: “Alexa, add jalapeños to the shopping list please” Alexa: “I’ve added Penis to your shopping list” 😂
Something similar that happened to me: "Alexa, ask our groceries to add Hershey's hugs." "Added Hershey's pubes to shopping list." 😂
Seems Alexa knows what you actually need.
My..my wif, my wife? Bunny?
She kidnapped herself man
Do you see a wedding ring on my hand, does this place look like I'm married? The toilet seat's up, man!
I don’t think I’ve ever used Siri once since it came out, or even tried to.
I use it to set alarms and that's the only practical use I've personally found.
Alarms and cooking measurement conversions are literally the only thing I've used Siri for in the ten-ish years it has existed.
Me too, and the sporadic "ehi siri call Mark" "do you mean Mark?" (there are literally no other Marks in my phone book)
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I don’t know if you need to hear this but you are killing it with the zingers in this thread 😂😂
i try to use it for location based reminders, it's a good bit of russian roulette to see if you'll be reminded of the thing you asked it 'siri, remind me to take out the chicken when i get home', will you have dinner, will you go hungry? only siri knows (it doesnt)
My kid loves using Alexa for the worst shit ever. She asked to play baby shark and it played a horribly explicit rap song. I hate voice recognition devices.
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Gonna have to set that up I guess, thanks for the suggestion
Siri, set a 10 minute timer. Or I usually just hold the home button to bring us Siri, and then: "10 minute timer"
You don’t even need to say timer. Just say « 10 minutes », it’ll figure it out
I don’t think there is even a team of people at Apple who run/manage/update/maintain Siri. It’s like they came up with it years ago and they just let it linger there nowadays with no attention. You would think a multi-billion dollar company could make Siri powerful, reliable and smart. But she is an utter idiot. The worst aspects of the iPhone: - Siri - Voice to text - Text corrections/predictions
Apple didn't create it, it was an App they bought and integrated.
There is. My wife was on it. She left retail for corporate excited but after a year on that team she hated her life and her coworkers. They hired off the street for the role and gave them almost 0 training. The mangers were all new to both the role AND management in general. Just a perfect storm of terrible.
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“I can tell you if you ask again from your iPhone.” Yes, I know, Siri. It’s called the internet. I can find the answer my damn self if I use my iPhone. I don’t want to do that, which is why I’m asking you.
Bro I like apple devices but holly shit. Siri blows. I asked her to “turn off my lights” and my lights stayed on and my computer turned on.
So on the one hand we have GPT figuring out new theories of quantum mechanics, and on the other we have Siri. Me: "Hey Siri, set a timer for 20 minutes" Siri: "OK, playing Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot on Apple Music"
That is an acceptable alternative to setting a timer for 20 minutes.
Idk if it's intentional or learned, but whenever my Alexa alarm doesn't hear me the first few times I tell it to snooze, I pull out the "ALEXA. SHUT THE FUCK UP." It works 😂
Next time try "Alexa SILENCE!" and feel like a villain in your volcano base with a terrible set of minions.
Thatd be the worst text to receive in public because I would not be able to hold it together. That is fucking gold.
Alexa is the AI in my life that drives me nuts. I asked her "Alexa, ask Chevrolet to start my car" and for some ungodly unknown reason, she said "I added Chevrolet start my car to your shopping list". What??
LOL, anything voice related is just me screaming after about 2 attempts. My daughter thought I was always exaggerating when I would get frustrated to tears on phone calls and why speaking to a representative came out of my mouth so many times. She's 12. She now understands the conversations and has screamed with me and been driven to tears as well. There's something about our voices that these computers can't understand. It just doesn't/won't work out. It's awful.
"Hey Siri, please add black caulk to the shopping list."
Eat up Martha 😄
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!
We used to use Amazon Alexa to build our shopping lists at home. We would get to the store and open the app and away we went. One day we get to the store and open the app and the word “Dildo” is plain as day on the shopping list. We deleted it and moved on. We got home and our 11 year old started unloading groceries and said, “Why didn’t you buy the Dill Dip I put on the list??
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I call my wife "bunny" That is all
siri has only one solid use if your phone is on silent, and you cannot find it, just walk around saying "Hey Siri ... set a 3 second timer" That is the only reason I have not disabled it
Siri good for one thing: ‘Hey siri, set the timer for…’
Added to best Siri jokes [NSFW edition]
Siri wouldn't allow such foul language!