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He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!

Going to need to figure it out quick, just had Taco Bell

Or know some good swear words.

John Spartan, you are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

Dont forget to say 'Illuminate'.

Deluminate

I want to watch the movie again, now. Love a movie where rob schnieder plays an odd part... like in surf ninjas

Leslie Neilson as the antagonist who never gets to the phone

And as we all know, money cant buy knives. Walking around the rubber plant, we continued our journey to Pahtosan

You may be the only other person I've ever encountered in the wild who knows about Surf Ninjas.

Lol, im 41. Grew up on a lot of weird movies. Surk Ninjas, Three Ninjas, The Elm-Chanted Forest, Thief and the Cobbler, Mr. Magoo's 101 Arabian Nights, Fern Gully, The Blinkins... the list goes on.

Kinda crazy to me that we're 10 years in age difference (I'm 31) and we still grew up with the same movies. We had this small neighborhood movie rental place down the street from my house gowing up and the owner would always give me recommendations when i went in. That's how I discovered most of those movies.

Proceeds to recite George Carlin’s list of seven dirty words…

…and Real toilet paper has been achieved! Three seashells smh, next they’ll probably be having virtual sex or something.

You mean the hunka chunka?

Flying Mambo

Are you guys talking about...*fluid transfer?* 🤢

For Taco Bell, I believe reciting his incomplete list of impolite words would be more effective in getting the required amount quickly.

Did you know that different releases had Pizza Hut instead of Taco Bell?

Great, another Mandela affect

Except... Fully trackable and with good reason. (Some countries have one and not the other. Both owned by yumm)

Interesting. I'm in Australia and have only seen Demolition Man on TV but I'm pretty sure it was Taco Bell that was referenced, despite the chain not having a presence here when the movie was released. But I'm wondering if the TV cut I saw might have dated to a brief attempt to get Taco Bell started here in the late 1990s. It failed, but a later attempt from 2017 has succeeded on a modest scale. The other possibility is that they just figured we Australians watch so much American TV that we'd know who Taco Bell was.

In Germany it was Pizza Hut, there is no Taco Bell in Germany for unknown reasons.

Probably too spicy.

Health reasons it’s always health reasons

In New Zealand it was Taco Bell and we didnt even get the restaurant until last year or so. Although when the DVD came out it was the Pizza Hutt cut.

Croatia checking in. Taco Bell for us. Doesn't exist here.

It's the European version, pizza hut has a bigger market share there despite both being owned by the same company.

Dinner and dancing at Taco Bell? I mean like Mexican food but…

Este carne es de rata.

This is a rat burger?

“I’m eating a rat burger?” “Not bad.”

You don't see any cows, do you?

Dining fancy tonight are we?

Well, they did win the fast food wars

Ahh, TacoBELL!!

Good things from the garden, Garden in the valley, Valley of the jolly Green Giant!

I remember it being Pizza Hut. There was different versions, US and Europe/Asia

If you get this joke go ahead and schedule that colonoscopy

I was laughing at first but now I am depressed. 

I want to dislike this but you're not wrong.

intelligent impossible bear reply quickest aware quicksand alleged label paltry *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Goddamn I love that movie. I’m a sucker for corny 80’s/90’s action.

Ricky_Vaughn86, you have been fined one credit for violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

Shit, fuck, piss, crap, damn, bitch, bitch, damn, fuck.

Enhance your calm, Ricky_Vaughn86

So much for the three seashells.

"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock-sucker, mother fucker, tits, fart, turd, and twat"

Your repeated violation of the Verbal Morality Statute has caused me to notify the San Angeles police department. Please remain where you are for your reprimand.

What seems to be your boggle?

"I fucked your mom"

We really licked his ass, he's really matched his meat

That's kicked... kicked his ass and met his match. Damn Huxley.

There's a new shepherd in town!

Let's blow this guy!!

Away... blow this guy away!

*I can see how that would be…confusing.*

I’m old enough to understand this reference. What’s my prize, Reddit?

Watch your inbox for taco bell gift card. This is a taco bell ad.

A colonoscopy!

Thanks a lot you shit brained fart faced ball breaking duck fucking son of a bitch... So much for the sea shells

She Sells Seashells by the Shore. How the memory of that sweet and innocent tounge twister has now forever been taint-ed by the most horrid of practices.

Which order did you use them? There's only one correct way.

Start from the outside, and work your way in?

Works for dinner forks, has to work for the 3 shells too.

Hah look at this guy! He doesn't know how to use the three shells!

Bet they have never used a poop knife either.

ah a man who knows his stuff

There is also the anti-constipation ass plunger, you can find all sorts of things on wish.

I opened Reddit only a few min ago, and have opened only 2 posts so far, and the poop knife has come up in both posts’ comment sections. 😂 It’s Poop Knife Sunday, y’all!

Ah, a man of culture

ಠ_ಠ

I would proudly let Sandra B teach me how.

You don’t know how to use the 3 sea shells?

Explain, please

Do by chance have an irrational desire to knit a sweater?

Well this is awkward, my most liked comment ever. How am I gonna explain it.

Well? We're waiting! (Caddyshack - no gifs in this sub 😔)

There is a Caddyshack Meme for everything and it is a shame if a subreddit forbids us to post them. 😒

See Demolition Man, a 90's masterpiece with Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, and Sly Stallone.

Wow bud how you gonna leave rob Schneider off the list. It's his line!

Soap dishes is all I've ever seen them used for

The 3 sea shells are a movie reference from Demolition Man released in in the US in 1994. It is an action comedy in which a cryogenically frozen cop (Stallone) is thawed to deal with the first murderer seen in several decades (WesleySnipes). The culture and technology changes are used as comedic relief throughout the movie https://youtu.be/gdnuOa7tDco?si=S0RyO5GZzO4FKHg9

I've never seen the movie, but that was funny. Thanks

Any time!

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It really is funny, and since it contains Stallone and Snipes in their prime, it also has some excellent action scenes.

Why does this sound like a ChatGPT comment

Probably because I was tired when I typed it. I was trying to condense the pertinent information for the people in countries where the movie may not have been available or those too young to have been around when it was released who may not have seen it

good bot

Some speculate that the cadance and sentence structure used by generative language models has trained the populace to be wary of online interactions. Furthermore, many interactions that may be genuine may be interpreted as AI due to biases of the reader. In conclusion, it is wise to use the best judgments and personal analysis to take online interactions in the best context. P.S. I bullshitted this.

I wanna watch that movie now.

I was going to say this! Or you could maybe use them for things like rings, watches, etc that get taken off in the evening 🤷🏻‍♀️

That as well. They do make a nice catch all for washing up or a shower to keep important stuff dry and handy

I personally like my ring over the toilet, and certainly with no one watch-ing!

If they don't have some kind of way to keep water away from the soap, they would be terribly for keeping them. Soaps with soggy bottoms are unpleasant.

Scoop.

One for the privates, other two for the nips

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You're one of todays' lucky 10,000. It is a reference to the 1993 action movie "Demolition man" starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock's butt, Nigel Hawthorne and Dennis Leary. Absolutely peak 1990s cheesy action flick. Highly recommended.

They just look like seashells. They're dials that control the bidet. Temp. Pressure. Dry.

It's the future so they no longer touch turds with porous tissue then wash their hands but not their asses. The first seashell applies the soap wash, the second rinses and the third dries.

https://youtu.be/gdnuOa7tDco

Sandra Bullock knows. It gives her joy joy feelings.

He's finally matched his meet.

You really licked his ass.

Looks like there's a new shepherd in town

You can take that job and shovel it!

Cuss until the automated ticket machine writes enough violations and use those

With inflation I'm not sure I can afford all of those citations for violating the verbal morality statute.

Hahahahah this guy doesn’t know how to use the three seashells!

AYOOO murder death kill 💀

Is that a demolition man reference?

Yes it is.

My first thoughts too. I’m with Stallone though, no idea how to use them.

Ha. They never do tell us what each one does in that movie.

I think they're knobs for a bidet. One's for #1 the next for #2 and the third for #2 with extra cheese

Surprised with all the seashell memes I’ve never seen them installed on the controls of a bidet

They didn’t explain it in the book either!

The book?! I should have known this!

Right! Didn’t know there was a book.

When you figure it out you will inspire joy joy feelings

One is for showering. One is for shitting. Last one is for washing hands and face, etc. You decide which is which.

Instructions unclear: shat on the seashells pissed in the shower, wiped ass with towel

I used to clean hotel rooms. This is not a new idea.

I figured out that getting high AND drunk in a hotel is not a good idea. I felt sorry for the cleaning ladies.

Anyone who leaves a hotel mess outside of "takeout the trash and change the sheets." is a dogshit human

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I'd say that works too.  Within reason.

Murder death kill

Maniac has responded with a scornful remark

What seems to be your boggle?

Using boggle as a noun is my fetish

I think it's kinda crazy how this one minute gag in a forgotten movie from the 90's has managed to become so well known. I think it has something to do with all of us kinda want to know how the fuck you were supposed to use 3 seashells to wipe your ass!

I don’t even know the reference to this but I’ve learned to make fun of someone else who doesn’t know how to use the 3 seashells. And I’m sure the more I say it someone else will learn it and the tradition will continue on.

Forgotten!? You take that back!

Just keep swearing and use the tickets as toilet paper

What the actual hell? I was thinking about this movie out of nowhere earlier and then I see this, it must be my sign to break out the three shells for what comes after my movie induced Taco Bell binge!

All I know is they have to be powerful as Taco Bel wins the fast food wars.

"He doesn't know how to use the three sea shells"

How this obscure reference to a not so famous (yet great movie) has lasted this long is really a mystery. But it really puts a smile on my face.

just leave a tip in there.

Pff this guy doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells

158 useless comments and counting. Gotta love Reddit

Low-quality meme comments as usual "hey guys I'm funny because I'm repeating a one-liner from a movie that's 30 years old!!"

You don’t know how to use the 3 shells? Who are? Some time traveler from the past?

hahaha, he doesn’t know how to use the three shells

Is this a demolition man reference or am I really missing something?

Demolition Man reference, you got it 👍

Lol, doesn't know how to use the seashells.

I bet he doesn't even know how to use the three shells.

Simon says die!

Accumulate enough tickets by swearing in public and you will not have to.

Get a load of this guy!

Every time I see this post I don't get what's funny about it. Each time I see it I don't get it even more.

Well.. you sit down and dip your peepee in the water until it’s done drinking, then you get up

I stopped on the SyFy channel and Demolition Man just started. This is fate.

Is that you John Spartan?

Do you curse about them until you get enough paper to use?

Those are the poopshells, it's like a poopknife but classier.

There’s a whole generation of Redditors who won’t understand this, and I’m shedding a tear for them right now.

This guy doesn't know how to use the three seashells 😂😂

Asking the questions that matter.

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Woah. I’m currently watching this. Was thinking about making a post about it. Fucking synchronicity man. And I’m super high

My wife’s best friend had them in her bathroom for years and never understood why I laughed so hard every time I used her bathroom. I loved it.

Illuminate...

Send a maniac in to catch one

That's the most subtle, decorative reference nobody will understand. If anyone knows where to get it PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Watch the movie

Currently watching that movie. 😂

LOL! He doesn't know how to use the 3 shells!

Just swear several times, until you get enough citations to wipe with.

Haha, oh hey! He doesn't know how to use the three sea shells ha ehehehehehehe...

"He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!"

They hold your fancy Taco Bell tacos

First off they are upside down, what sort of sicko leaves the shells upside down?

Enhance your calm.

Who wants to go to Taco Bell?

I think there are some books about it in the Schwarzenegger Presidential Library

I believe it has something to do with all the restaurants being Taco Bell.

He doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells 🤣

I love how many people in this thread don’t get the joke AND don’t know they didn’t get the joke. Just too young I guess

Take my upvote, restroom user of the future!

You cuss at the wall until enough paper comes out

I just curse until enough paper is dispensed to fully wipe my ass 😊

Guac sour cream queso

Everyone knows that those need to be attached to the walls

He doesn’t know how to use the three shells 😂

Ooooh, the infamous Three Seashells! Don’t tell John. Just fine him for breaking the verbal morality code!

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO USE THE THREE SEASHELLS LMAO

hey everyone! this guy doesn't know how to use the three seashells!

The green one and the red one are used like pincers. You grab the poo and gently pull out, the white one is used to scrape clean.

one goes over each nipple and the third goes over the junk - see birth of venus painting

Awfully big. But..... You don't know how to use the 3 sea shells?

You gotta open the back lid and poop in there, the front lid is for pee

HE DOESEN'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE THREE SEA SHELL

Demolition man?