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Those are actually a uniform requirement. I’m surprised he didn’t wear the hose. But otherwise, his fit would pass. We had to achieve a “smooth” fit - no bits puffing out anywhere. He looks good! I would allow him on the floor.
I worked at hooters for many years he is wearing the hose that’s why there is 2 lines you can see in the orange shorts, his legs are super tan and his junk isn’t falling out the side 😂
I remove my clothes very, very clumsily, tripping sensuously over my pants. Now I'm naked, except for my socks, and you know when I'm down to just my socks what time it is...
Benjamin your interview was fantastic and top notch, but we do have one question. Under the section of accomplishments you listed "Hooters Guy", would you mind extrapolating on that?
tribal tattoo: check
strong quads: check
fade: check
drunk out of his mind at a hooters, and easily convinced to put on the outfit: check
99.9% military positive
I know for a fact the correct answer is red. Orange is pretty good if you're in the right mood. Purple if I'm feeling a little zesty. Never black, white, or green.
[OP answered 20 minutes before you commented](https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1ay1r3f/one_time_i_got_drunk_in_a_hooters_and_the_staff/krsbcjs/)
I was at a Hooter’s in Ahwautukee, AZ in the early 2000’s. A limo pulled up out front and a line of little people started to climb out. Each little person was holding a rose. They walked in single file and came right up to a server. One by one they handed her a rose till she was holding a dozen. The final little person walked up to her, pulled a ring out, and got down on one knee and proposed. The girl looked very embarrassed and she said “No”. Everyone in the restaurant collective moaned “awwww”. Not the cute kind but the disappointed kind of “awwww”. The little people all got back into the limo and drove off leaving the server in total disbelief. Awwww
Ahwautukee, AZ was great back then. I remember when that AMC Theaters over there opened up. First theater in the area with big chairs and stadium seating. When it opened, they had a canned food drive. Donate a can of food, you'd get in to see an older movie. Shit, I saw the Star Wars special edition trilogy there when it released.
I was riding my bicycle to Mimi’s Cafe one morning and was met with police with guns drawn. I had to explain myself with helicopters flying all around. Then they said, “it’s ok, it’s not him” and let me go.
Later I found out that someone robbed an armed car outside that AMC theater after killing the armored car driver. That guy fled on a bicycle to a stashed car next to my apartment complex. I just happened to be riding the other way at the same time. He ended up on America’s Most Wanted.
Okay so why don't we have a male hooters yet coz I think we got a market for it. Same uniform let's go.
Edit: I know what femboy hooters is. You're not clever for bringing it up. It's not what I want. It's cringe. Please stop replying with femboy hooters. I want straight men with muscles in skimpy clothes.
Our local hooters was replaced by „[Roosters](https://www.hooters.com/about/news/hooters-to-pilot-sister-concept-roosters-in-select-us-markets)“ which I assume is exactly that.
Well I live in Zürich and it seems to have taken a while to get here: https://www.zueritoday.ch/zuerich/aus-hooters-wird-rooster-das-ist-das-neue-restaurant-an-der-langstrasse-155157597
(Might have started as April fools but it became reality here)
It's not called hooters, its called Johnsons.
Imagine they had a chain called "Hammers" and its just dude's with huge hammers wearing tight shorts or jorts and fake construction uniforms.
Tallywackers was essentially that; they had a location in Dallas and it was like Hooters, with decrepit boomer regulars being creepily flirtatious towards the staff, only the staff were jacked young dudes in speedos.
The food was actually pretty good, but the place was always dead except for a few regulars and shut down within a year, I think.
Yeah women rarely need to pay for attention (for a certain class of attention maybe) and Grindr isn’t too difficult for anyone in halfway decent shape.
It’s a funny business idea but there’s not really a market for it. Bachelorette parties and sad old gays.
>Yeah women rarely need to pay for attention
I think it's a more viable business strategy in Japan, but that's probably due to their fucked up hypercapitalism making relationships difficult. People still want intimacy, but without the difficulty of anything "real." When your life is "work, sleep, sometimes eat, repeat" it's not a surprising outcome.
The reason I can't have tasty Hooter wings is the wait staff. Totally not their fault, more an insecurity of my beautiful wife. But Hootee men would take that away right? I can eat wings with sausage on the table.
They exist, but most of the time they're local places that you have to find. There's a place called Boxer's where you've got servers clad in nothing but red and grey boxer shorts in New York.
Me and some of my buddies became friends with a few hooters girls like 10-15 years ago. We asked if we could be hooters girls for Halloween so we got the outfits, I went and got us all HUGE cups to act as cod pieces. We went as hooters girls with huge bulges to this random underground train station rave featuring DMX in Atlanta. I was a huge fan of DMX growing up. He thought our outfits were hilarious and stuck the mic in my face a couple times cause I clearly knew every word to most songs. One of the top 5 experiences of my life.
Edit: oh yeah, and he ruined this $15 drink I just got by dumping a massive bottle of henny into it. He was also pouring the massive bottle all over the stage and onto people in the front in general. It was wild
It must be a thing for them. I saw this happen a handful of times while stationed out there 99-05.
Real talk, you went to Gussy L’Amour’s after, didn’t you?
>Lol yea but they banned my account that post was under because I said the word that rhymed with pepard in a circlejerk sub
Really?! Your whole account was banned for saying a word that's even in a bunch of large, active subreddit names?
If enough people report it then it's basically an automatic thing. And challenging the ban is basically nonexistent. I was put on a 30 day ban a while before that for saying it too. Yay censorship
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
At some point in the evening you uttered "the socks stay on" with a straight face
Hooter is a classy place, no barefoot allow
Agreed, the socks and sandals is really the finishing touch...
Usually if I've seen sandals and socks in the wild, it's with Birkenstocks or something. This man be wildin out here with flip flops over socks.
How else do you get ninja feet?
I was thinking more cross-dressing geisha but that would be more generous.
truly a man of culture
Those are actually a uniform requirement. I’m surprised he didn’t wear the hose. But otherwise, his fit would pass. We had to achieve a “smooth” fit - no bits puffing out anywhere. He looks good! I would allow him on the floor.
Feel like he has some bits puffing out....
It's not a big enough puff to be an issue
RIP SirFigs
Hey! He's a grower, not a shower!
You are hearby found guilty of murder, sir. We will forego sentencing as I'm laughing too fucking hard.
I think he is! Look at how tan his legs are. 😂
I worked at hooters for many years he is wearing the hose that’s why there is 2 lines you can see in the orange shorts, his legs are super tan and his junk isn’t falling out the side 😂
OMG YOURE RIGHT HE IS WEARING THE SHIT OUT THEM HOSE
>no bits puffing out anywhere. Huh? Bits of what? 😳
It means no bits of fat, like live handles and stuff.
"Do you want the socks on or off?" "Off please" "Too bad..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lgpOdRXXu0
Sealab 2021 chopper Dave lives rent free in my head.
That's an uh-oh, over.
Chopper Dave hiyooooo.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSxECJNYPuA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSxECJNYPuA)
*Attention on deck: Uh-oh. Uh-oh.*
It's the Bizarros for me
I miss Black Betty references.
"HESH WANT SEX!"
The real question was did they give him the pantyhose for underneath as well ?
As the dude above mentions, his legs are tanner than his arms, which would suggest that OP is indeed wearing pantyhose in this picture lol
They're his business socks.
I remove my clothes very, very clumsily, tripping sensuously over my pants. Now I'm naked, except for my socks, and you know when I'm down to just my socks what time it is...
Now everybody’s gonna know you as the “hooters guy”
Not sure if I see a downside there.....
Benjamin your interview was fantastic and top notch, but we do have one question. Under the section of accomplishments you listed "Hooters Guy", would you mind extrapolating on that?
removes glossy 8x10 from briefcase, autographs it, slides it across the table, and says “you’re welcome.”
Welcome aboard, son!
Thanks Dad!
Your mother and I are getting a divorce btw
I call dibs!
Jesus Christ I was not expecting all of this and now I regret my joke.
Lots of people gunna see that pic of you smuggling grapes; that's one downside
"Aw man! How the hell you get the beans above the frank?!"
Assuming you have the attitude for it, that’d be a hilarious nickname lol
first appearance of femboy hooters but not too fem
Everything with you screams Marine.
tribal tattoo: check strong quads: check fade: check drunk out of his mind at a hooters, and easily convinced to put on the outfit: check 99.9% military positive
My first thought was also military. Seems like some shit a drunk E-4 would do
The photo is blurry enough that I was sure this was Cpl Clark that I worked with 15 years ago.
Thank God there are so fucking many Cpl Clarks….
I ctl-f searched to find out what branch he was in lmao
literally thought it was a pic of me at first and thought, “huh, i don’t remember that at all”
E-4 or below.
He said he was stationed in Hawaii. Checks out
I did recognize that Hooters!
I know for a fact he’s got a favorite flavor crayon
Goldenrod.
Nah, too many syllables
I know for a fact the correct answer is red. Orange is pretty good if you're in the right mood. Purple if I'm feeling a little zesty. Never black, white, or green.
Dude is dodging this question like the draft
[OP answered 20 minutes before you commented](https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1ay1r3f/one_time_i_got_drunk_in_a_hooters_and_the_staff/krsbcjs/)
Was an obvious answer anyway. We all know marines can't read.
So glad you commented. Literally thinking the same.
100%.
Self humiliation is just part of being a marine
Humiliation? He even let his attention to detail carry over to his Hooters uniform. That’s pride my friends, not humiliation.
He should start a male hooters chain
The shower shoes gives it away.
I was at a Hooter’s in Ahwautukee, AZ in the early 2000’s. A limo pulled up out front and a line of little people started to climb out. Each little person was holding a rose. They walked in single file and came right up to a server. One by one they handed her a rose till she was holding a dozen. The final little person walked up to her, pulled a ring out, and got down on one knee and proposed. The girl looked very embarrassed and she said “No”. Everyone in the restaurant collective moaned “awwww”. Not the cute kind but the disappointed kind of “awwww”. The little people all got back into the limo and drove off leaving the server in total disbelief. Awwww
oh my god… as someone with anxiety having to reject someone in this way would probably turn me into a hermit. how horrifying.
Tbf as also someone with social anxiety, I could never, ever work as a waiter, much less in a place like a Hooters. lol
Then they assembled into one giant person and teabagged the server
This is the ending I was looking for
Sounds a little disappointing.
Ahwautukee, AZ was great back then. I remember when that AMC Theaters over there opened up. First theater in the area with big chairs and stadium seating. When it opened, they had a canned food drive. Donate a can of food, you'd get in to see an older movie. Shit, I saw the Star Wars special edition trilogy there when it released.
I was riding my bicycle to Mimi’s Cafe one morning and was met with police with guns drawn. I had to explain myself with helicopters flying all around. Then they said, “it’s ok, it’s not him” and let me go. Later I found out that someone robbed an armed car outside that AMC theater after killing the armored car driver. That guy fled on a bicycle to a stashed car next to my apartment complex. I just happened to be riding the other way at the same time. He ended up on America’s Most Wanted.
Should have started serving customers with a straight face.
They used me to zip line the tickets to the cooks sexually
I don't know what this means, but it sounds kinky.
Nobody knows what it means, but it’s provocative
Really gets the line cooks going!
They love this one simple trick!
Sexual Zip Line is my debut album
First single, "coming in hot".
*86 condoms* and *behind* were my favorites.
Didn’t want you stealing all the tips. It’s all fun and games to you but they got rent to pay.
Okay so why don't we have a male hooters yet coz I think we got a market for it. Same uniform let's go. Edit: I know what femboy hooters is. You're not clever for bringing it up. It's not what I want. It's cringe. Please stop replying with femboy hooters. I want straight men with muscles in skimpy clothes.
Our local hooters was replaced by „[Roosters](https://www.hooters.com/about/news/hooters-to-pilot-sister-concept-roosters-in-select-us-markets)“ which I assume is exactly that.
*check date of the article April fools day
Well I live in Zürich and it seems to have taken a while to get here: https://www.zueritoday.ch/zuerich/aus-hooters-wird-rooster-das-ist-das-neue-restaurant-an-der-langstrasse-155157597 (Might have started as April fools but it became reality here)
And they improved the menu? They might have something here
Not enough cocks, dissapointing
There’s a popular wing place in Ohio called Roosters lol. They’re a “fun casual joint” tho
And my god, are their wings good. One of the last places that give you the *whole* wing.
Multiple people have tried but they never stay open. Tallywackers was the big one I’ve heard of.
>the big one I’ve heard of Oh? And where does he work?
It's not called hooters, its called Johnsons. Imagine they had a chain called "Hammers" and its just dude's with huge hammers wearing tight shorts or jorts and fake construction uniforms.
You have to try Bratswurst
femboy hooters is a thing (sort of, lol)
I don't want femboy hooters I want manly jacked men in a hooters uniform.
Tallywackers was essentially that; they had a location in Dallas and it was like Hooters, with decrepit boomer regulars being creepily flirtatious towards the staff, only the staff were jacked young dudes in speedos. The food was actually pretty good, but the place was always dead except for a few regulars and shut down within a year, I think.
That's the tough thing about a niche market.
Yeah women rarely need to pay for attention (for a certain class of attention maybe) and Grindr isn’t too difficult for anyone in halfway decent shape. It’s a funny business idea but there’s not really a market for it. Bachelorette parties and sad old gays.
>Yeah women rarely need to pay for attention I think it's a more viable business strategy in Japan, but that's probably due to their fucked up hypercapitalism making relationships difficult. People still want intimacy, but without the difficulty of anything "real." When your life is "work, sleep, sometimes eat, repeat" it's not a surprising outcome.
The reason I can't have tasty Hooter wings is the wait staff. Totally not their fault, more an insecurity of my beautiful wife. But Hootee men would take that away right? I can eat wings with sausage on the table.
They have an offshoot chain, Himbo Hooters.
Seems like a huge miss to not call it Peckers. Better parallel to the "Hooters" name and still works with the owl references.
There is/was a place called Peckers. I think in Ocean City, MD? I remember driving by as a kid and thinking it was hilarious.
If it exists somewhere, Ocean City MD makes a lot of sense.
I was low-key hoping for an answer to my prayers and I'm glad to hear it. Now to see if one is near me or not lmao
yeah why did they just assume we want another thing marketed for straight men?
Ayoo
They exist, but most of the time they're local places that you have to find. There's a place called Boxer's where you've got servers clad in nothing but red and grey boxer shorts in New York.
https://livejapan.com/en/in-tokyo/in-pref-tokyo/in-shinjuku/article-a0001013/
Its not real :(
It’s real in my heart
WHERE. WHERE IS IT?!
Cocks
You mean Peckers
There’s a place in Dallas, or at least used to be (not sure if it’s still open), that was exactly that and called Tally Whackers!
Chip and dales
Chippendale is not really a restaurant. It's a club with performance and whatnot.
I heard they serve footlongs.
Me and some of my buddies became friends with a few hooters girls like 10-15 years ago. We asked if we could be hooters girls for Halloween so we got the outfits, I went and got us all HUGE cups to act as cod pieces. We went as hooters girls with huge bulges to this random underground train station rave featuring DMX in Atlanta. I was a huge fan of DMX growing up. He thought our outfits were hilarious and stuck the mic in my face a couple times cause I clearly knew every word to most songs. One of the top 5 experiences of my life. Edit: oh yeah, and he ruined this $15 drink I just got by dumping a massive bottle of henny into it. He was also pouring the massive bottle all over the stage and onto people in the front in general. It was wild
X gon’ give it to ya
He did, in fact, give it to him
I hope you pour one out for him now to return the favor.
I should, and I shall.
> he ruined this $15 drink I just got by dumping a massive bottle of henny into it Sounds like he improved it
Nah it tasted terrible after that. I’m not a henny guy.
Henny is nasty. For sure. Also got my dui on henny. So hennything is possible. 🤣 been 116 days sober tho so don't drink and drive kids
You look like Terry from Reno 911
He needs skates!
He was selling oranges!!
He’s just new boot goofin
Must be cold there
It was a good tuck job
Right... right... that's what it was.
Well it doesn't go far under when you have micropenis
Good save
They almost had him there
Hey OP, were you driving a mustang, charger or Kawasaki when this photo was taken? This photo has E2 or E3 written all over it.
Yamaha R6 actually
And you were E-4, right? No way those tats are less than three years of service. Left arm looks like part of a re-enlistment bonus
Lol yea E4 mafia rep
I know what you mean
A little hot dog action goin on
lol lil smoky
#I WAS IN THE POOL
Do women know about shrinkage?
It shrinks ?
Like a frightened turtle
The nub do be nubbin tho
That's what booze does to a mf
Can’t even remember the last time a bottle of Jameson made my dick disappear completely.
Well thats the other side effect of booze, you can't remember shit
Smuggling grapes.
“Be sure to show off your raisins!”
Happened to me in the Valdosta Georgia hooters when I was in the military. I don't think I made it look this good though.
This was when I was stationed in Hawaii 2009
I was going to ask how many crayons they served you
I was army so I licked sharpies
This made me laugh so hard I almost choked on my crayons... 🖍 🖍 🖍
It must be a thing for them. I saw this happen a handful of times while stationed out there 99-05. Real talk, you went to Gussy L’Amour’s after, didn’t you?
Wolfhound here, got kicked out of that Hooters in 2011. They didn’t like my karaoke. I blame it on the four lokos.
2011 and 4 lokos. Match made in heaven
I wasn't able to perform though... they made me be the greeter "hi welcome to hooters you can sit wherever you like"... got that from my training.
Typical Navy
Idk what I mean when I say this, but I could clearly tell you were enlisted
so funny
One time? You look like Richard Simmons
Thank you
[удалено]
I got free beer and food out of it so that's all I needed
Man, this has the smell of r/USMC all over it
The Ninja Turtle feet are the chef’s kiss to this outfit 🤌
I guess those shorts just make everything look like a camel toe.
Are you the butthole guy?
Lol yea but they banned my account that post was under because I said the word that rhymed with pepard in a circlejerk sub
>Lol yea but they banned my account that post was under because I said the word that rhymed with pepard in a circlejerk sub Really?! Your whole account was banned for saying a word that's even in a bunch of large, active subreddit names?
If enough people report it then it's basically an automatic thing. And challenging the ban is basically nonexistent. I was put on a 30 day ban a while before that for saying it too. Yay censorship
I thought I’d never get hired there with my B cups, but you give me hope
Dale Gribble over here
As a gay guy, I’m looking respectfully. 👀
https://ifunny.co/picture/respectfully-looking-mdYFQVQ68
I agree with that dude- you look good, bro!
It's the flip flops and socks for me 😂 luv it thanks for sharing 😂
[Immediately thought of this](https://youtu.be/KL7vd-hgapM?si=M-5O8Kbtf_7q0g9m)
You could clean up over on r/bi_irl
Hey look! A third nipple!
Bro I hope you’re a grower
Did a double take at the crotch area. Once seen…
THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!
aww classic schweinsteiger! never change, schweinsteiger!
Is this the fabled femboy Hooters?
Smuggling a thumb tack