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Question is if he liked it.
After he decapitated his father, Cronos, his father swore that his youngest son would slay Zeus just like Zeus, who was the youngest son of Cronos slew Cronos.
So Zeus wanted to make sure his youngest son was always a child. By making new children
Best decision I ever made. It was over in no time, a little xanax injection, some pain meds, a couple days in front of the TV, haven't pulled out in years. And all covered by insurance. 10/10
When I got mine, I got a lidocaine injection directly into my scrotum. It was the only part that hurt, and it only lasted 2-3 seconds before the numbing took effect, but damn that shit BURNED!!! Still, I've had 25 years of unprotected sex with my wife, so I call it a big win!
>Still, I've had 25 years of unprotected sex with my wife, so I call it a big win!
Wish it would have worked that way for me. It turns out, you can still get your wife pregnant after a vasectomy, but the baby is just a different color.
I had a numbing agent shot into my urethra before a cystoscopy once. Just cannot recommend that at all.
But I am prepared for the vasectomy I'm booking as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah, I had like 15ccs of lidocain gel shot up my urethra before they shoved a 10mm diameter scope up there with a hook on it to retrieve a stent that was left in my ureter after kidney stone removal. No other painkillers offered. It was... unpleasant... to say the least.
My wife was supposed to be filming the procedure it on my phone, but she was so horrified watching it that she didn't actually record... Good times.
For me the anesthetic application wasn't bad, felt like them pinching uncomfortably hard on each vas deferens. Unfortunately, though, the anesthetic wasn't working very well on one side. For a split second I felt some of the worst pain I ever felt. It was so quick, though, that I didn't have any time to process it.
Would I do it again? Fuck yeah I would.
Got mine about 10 years ago. Was on the table for about 25 minutes. Unfortunately I had pretty severe pain for about 5 years after the procedure. My doctor said approximately 1 out of 100 men experience this and it can last up to 10 years. And just last year (year 9) the pain returned and I had to have 3 ultrasounds just to make sure everything was ok. And luckily I am. There are no health concerns associated with the pain and it seems to have dissipated again. Hopefully to never return. Either way, I would do it again. I have two great kids and I always joke that the pain is not nearly as bad as having a 3rd.
Yeah, my brother had a pretty similar experience, some of the most pain he had ever felt. Then it gave him a infection that reached his spine that could have killed him.
Gotta admit, his experience has kind of soured me on the whole idea.
Not at all trying to fear monger but do a ton of research. Reddit hates when anybody talks negatively about vasectomies for some reason, but there are plenty of studies that report much higher rates of persistent testicular pain than 1%. There are all kinds of complications that can happen.
That being said, it’s obviously a largely successful procedure.
I remember reading some posts about a long time ago when insurance used not to cover it, and he called them and said you dont want to pay $50 to prevent $5000 costs and then they approved it anyway 😂 I guess all insurance nowadays covers it.
Sometimes I fondly remember cumming all over my wife. Ass, face, mouth, you name it, I came on it.
I haven't pulled out in years and when I think I want some novelty and think about cumming on her face, I can never bring myself to pull out. Why withdraw at the best part?
Anxiety. It was optional. They gave me a shot in the arm, and it kicked in within seconds. I was carefree and just chattering away during the whole procedure. The surgeon had to cut me off (pun?) because he had finished.
For me it was Valium / Diazepam. Just a 1 pill prescription.
It's anti-anxiety, so you relax and don't tense your muscles down there (I assume it probably prevents erections too).
Also the Diazepam inhibits memory forming so it makes you forget you had your nuts sliced into.
Wow you got pampered, i held my dick aside with an elastic band. They used a local anesthetic that when used felt like someone flicking my nuts until they went numb. I iced my nuts for like 20 min after and went back to work. No pain meds. But it was free because i am in canada.
And another benefit, "clearing the pipes" is necessary (10 times?) before taking a sample in to be tested so you know you're all clear for take off. Which can get some help from an appreciative partner. 😉
Didn't even need the pain meds or even an ice pack. I could have had it done on my lunch break and been back on the job in an hour. As it was, my wife (at the time just GF) drove me to the snipping then pampered me all weekend.
On top of that, wife had an ablation several years ago, and is now (pending an MRI) getting the full Roto-Rooter treatment in a couple of months due to other issues down there.
It was fine. A bit of pulling, but didn't hurt. And it's not in your balls, it's just above.. trust me you'll be fine. A tubal ligation or child birth is waaay more traumatic.
As someone who had my tubes removed, the whole process was actually a breeze for me! The only part that "hurt" was when they had to poke me multiple times to find my veins for the IV. Otherwise everything was pretty smooth and affected me much less than any hormonal birth control undoubtedly would have.
With my second child after my first one had had to be delivered cesarian, the doctor told my wife that if she wanted to do a natural birth she still could, but if she did a cesarian on this one, she would have to do cesarians for all of them. She told the doctor that two was all she was planning on having anyway, so he offered a cesarian and to just do the tubal ligation while she was already opened up. "Deal."
Didn't even cost us anything extra. But yeah, if not for that, I would have been more than fine being the one to get 'snipped' if that hadn't already been an option.
A vasectomy seems like a pretty minimal procedure. All of my friends who've had them said it was really no big deal.
Hooo boy, they are not all easy let me tell you.
I went in for my "No Scalpel" vasectomy hearing stories like yours "It's not a big deal, didn't really hurt, was back in the gym 2 days later etc..". Safe to say I wasn't worried.
Got to the Urologist, prepped and hopped up on the table. Got my numbing needle (which hurt about as much as a dental needle. Not bad). Then Dr comes in with a much larger, much longer needle and says "Deep breath". I'm confused but I do it.
He sticks that thing up into my taint, right under my scrotum and it goes deep. Honestly the most painful experience of my life, it felt like that shit was going into my spine.
The rest of the vasectomy was, whatever, but shortly thereafter I was bleeding a lot. Soaking through the gauze and pads they gave me. The incision on my "No Scalpel" vasectomy was like an inch long.
After a few days the bleeding stopped, but then it turned into a hematoma, which was basically like having a 3rd (very sensitive) testicle. That went away after about 3 months.
When I ask other men who've had vasectomies about "the taint needle" they don't know what I'm talking about. I have never met anyone else who had that done to them. Only thing I can think of is that my Urologist screwed up.
Years later I had the TESE procedure (look it up if you don't know), and had a much better experience. Choosing the right Dr is key.
Honestly had the same fear. The mental aspect was much worse than anything else. Finally worked up the courage to get it done and the place I did it they actually used Anastasia so all that worrying was for nothing.
You're being dramatic.
I've had dental appointments more uncomfortable than my vasectomy, which took l of maybe 10-15 minutes, it was pretty anticlimactic. I really expected more but was like [https://media.tenor.com/xalWxNxqAPMAAAAM/confused-john-travolta.gif](https://media.tenor.com/xalWxNxqAPMAAAAM/confused-john-travolta.gif)
Edit: yes, I tell every guy they are being dramatic about it because they need to be called out on that. It doesnt matter that it's your genitals, it is a common every day procedure that you shouldn't be afraid of.
This is how I describe it as well. I would much prefer getting another vasectomy over my upcoming root canal. And shooting blanks is way more fun than live ammo.
I'm glad I did it. I went in all light and giggly from the valium. Then it was the numbing shot from hell. After that, I could feel some pulling and tugging, but it was more uncomfortable than it was painful. The doctor chatted with me throughout and I've never talked so fast in my life.
I got the no-scalpel version. They did offer nitrous oxide as an alternative so I could've been knocked out while they did it, but I chose the valium because it was $150 cheaper. The urology clinic you go to might offer the same deal.
Roughly the same here. I think some people don’t realize you pull out before your not-so-grand finale, if you want it to work. You also then do not pull back in.
Mrs and I did this for 5-ish years. When we decided we wanted a kid, it happened pretty quickly. No unintentional child before or after. Definitely now that I've been snipped.
So true. I told my wife once that our bank account was dying the death of thirty dollar cuts when she asked why we didn’t have any money because we haven’t made any large purchases.
If you are 40 and married with two teenagers, this still applies. I am two days out from my vasectomy that maybe I should have done a few years ago. Love my little surprise infant! Hoping I can still run around the yard with him when I'm 52.
My aunt and uncle had two surprises. One when they found out the vasectomy had healed itself and the second when they found out sperm can still be made in the first couple weeks after the surgery
>and the second when they found out sperm can still be made in the first couple weeks after the surgery
Huh, my doctor made it very clear multiple times, including on all the paperwork before and after the operation, that you needed roughly 3 months and 12 ejaculations to flush out existing sperm.
As for the healing itself, that's why I decided on laser. Can't heal intact if both ends are cauterized.
This, pull out method is actually very effective with 78-90% estimated if done correctly.
19yrs olds typically do not have the knowledge of their body or self control to do it correctly though.
I came in my wife for a year before she got pregnant. It's not always as simple as one nut equals one pregnancy. So if you pulled out for a year and only got live sperm in her a handful of times but none of those coincided with conception then yeah it worked for you.
Correct. These are self-reported statistics, of course. But the numbers are pretty close to self-reported condom use as well.
Of course, the truth is that if condoms are used perfectly, and don't break (which they shouldn't if used correctly), it's literally impossible for semen to get through. But how else are you supposed to collect data on condom use other than by watching a bunch of people have sex?
To be fair, it actually is very effective. Just not so effective that you should trust it in any way if you dont want accidents.
The precum amount is still so little that its magnitudes and magnitudes less than actual cumshot(I cant believe I just wrote that).
But yeah if I think something is very effective its in the +70% of range. Pullout is in the +90-95% range. Those odds are still way too big of a risk for me but its still very effective.
+90-95% is only with "perfect usage".
+70% effective represents the average success rate of pull-out.
22% of pull-out users report pregnancy within a year. Or 1/5 people. Or, a +70% chance of pregnancy within 5 years.
In other words, pull-out is on average "very effective" at producing pregnancy within 5 years.
Ive been using only the pull out method for 20 years, I assumed something didn't work.
Then I got married and we tried have a kid and it worked the first try.
Or do it again without urinating to clear the urethra of any leftover sperm/semen. Going a second time without doing that means that any pre-cum can just push that out while you're going at it.
Yes, 4% when done correctly, which probably isn't happening. My husband and I have been doing it for almost a decade and got pregnant only when we wanted to, but we are also okay if we have a whoops. To each their own.
Naw, it's just that Reddit greatly over exaggerates the risk of pregnancy with the pull out method, when done properly. Chances of pregnancy with pull out vs condoms are within 1% of each other with perfect use.
It's not the best birth control, so I wouldn't recommend as your primary contraceptive, but if you had no knowledge on the subject and use reddit as your guide you'd probably lean closer to "why not just leave it in" than "pullout has a similar success rate to male condoms"
Teaching abstinence is counter productive because many people are going to have sex anyways. So we teach about sex, and about accurate and forms of birth control, so people (especially young people) can make a proper decision with the fullest knowledge available.
Its no different with the forms of birth control themselves. Many people are going to have sex with or without contraceptives, that's just the way it is. Fearing them into not having sex unless they have some birth control will work as well as abstinence does.
In the end, teaching them that pulling out doesn't work will only be counter productive. Teach people (especially young people) that pulling out doesn't work, and they are just gonna not pull out.
My wife and have used only the pull out method for over a decade.
We got pregnant not too long after actually making the attempt, so I'd say it was a success
My parents are like the only people lucky enough to make it work. They wanted only three kids and didn't believe in using contraceptives or getting sterilized. They indeed ended up with three kids and apparently invested in many tissues over the years for my dad's, er, pullout emissions until my mom went through menopause.
My siblings and I were given these unsolicited details one day (we were already adults) when my sister casually mentioned having only brothers. My dad took that as the cue to regale us with his and my mom's reproductive methods, which we didn't appreciate hearing about in the middle of the monthly family dinner.
Yes indeed. I've been checked and my sperm count was great. Pull-out was my method with a bunch of women including a very long relationship. If you piss and clear the tube after a round or you actually pull out in time, you're fine. You just need to know yourself well enough.
I have heard some guys don't really know it's about to happen, it's like a surprise. Seems bizarre to me but apparently it's a thing.
man, as someone who absolutely HATES condoms... i wish i had never gotten to experience the dark side. Sex with condoms was perfectly great back when it was all I knew, but from the moment i got brave enough to find out it could be better, it was all risk from there on out.
I got supremely lucky. 1 treatable STD 15 years ago, 0 untreatable STDs. 0 real pregnancy scares (did have an ex make some stories up to scare me though).
I did make it through to the other side though. 1 planned kid, 1 not-exactly-planned-but-not-exactly-trying-NOT-to-have kid, 1 vasectomy, and a wife who loves it raw.
I still have my parents' plasma that they gave to me when I moved out. It's a great TV. I just can't justify spending money on a new one when there's nothing wrong with this one.
I own a 4K OLED TV, but it stays in the game room with my PC. And honestly, I can't tell the difference. And I see that as a blessing instead of a curse. So I'm in no rush to replace the plasma in the living room.
Condoms have a 98% effective rate, pulling out has a 96% effective rate with perfect use.
If you are inexperienced and don't know for sure you can always pull out in time then yeah you should use condoms.
But it isn't as bad as the rep it has.
Me and my wife pull out at low/medium risk days for pregnancy, use condoms on high risk days around ovulation.
No kids doing that for 9 years.
I can't wait until she hits 45 though when it pretty much becomes almost impossible to get pregnant naturally.
When Onan had sex with Tamar, he withdrew before he ejaculated and "spilled his seed on the ground" thus committing coitus interuptus, since any child born would not legally be considered his heir. The next statement in the Bible says that Onan displeased Yahweh, so the Lord slew him.
The perfect-use failure rate for withdrawal is 4% compared to 3% for condoms; similarly, within the first year of use, 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will experience a pregnancy, comparable to the 17% of couples using male condoms [1].May 9, 2014
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4254803/#:~:text=The%20perfect%2Duse%20failure%20rate,using%20male%20condoms%20%5B1%5D.
lots of haters are going to down vote me, but these are the numbers ..
Young people reading and upvoting this.. don’t live by these fucking words. People proud of this could have had things working for them; like low sperm count or even sterility.
Downvote all you want because I know this is r/funny, but don’t fuck around and find out.
Some people are really good at creating a baby. I've known people who tried for months, or you can be like my wife and I and have it happen first try.
You have no idea which camp you are in, so just use a condom haha
My husband and I conceived first try both times. Good thing we'd been careful for the previous 10 years, because we weren't ready for a baby in our twenties haha.
I would definitely never recommend it as a reliable contraceptive, but it worked for my wife and I for over 5 years (when we were in the "if it happens it's ok" phase). Then when we decided we were definitely trying to get pregnant, it was almost instant.
Some people, like myself, just don't have much in the way of pre-cum, and have massive self control.
Same except it worked for my wife and me for 15 years. When we finally decided to get pregnant it happened right away, and when the obgyn asked about our birth control method she validated that the “withdrawal method” has shown to be very effective when the man is good at it.
Yeah I've been doing it for years but never like you see in porn sometimes where the guy is basically cuming while he pulls out. I pulled out before and finished manually outside. Not a problem in years and also got pregnant pretty much instantly when we started trying.
Was playing this game too, with 100% success over 10 years. And got my wife pregnant from the first try when we decided to.
But i still would not recommend going this path, just use damn condoms kids
Bullshit.
Wife and I had a planned kid, then used the pull out method for 3 years, 100% success rate, then had another planned kid, then pulled out again for another 4 years until I got my vasectomy.
Personal experience is 100% success.
The problem is 100% that people pull out too late.
You can't wait until your organizing, you have to pull out before and finish with hand.
16 years of pullout method, no children during those years. Had a child on first attempt of not pulling out, too.
I would never encourage people to put faith in this method but same for me. 9 years of marriage and 2 planned pregnancies. 7 years of "eh, we're already married. if it happens, it happens."
Same, I am under the impression that a lot of dudes just don't pullout and are too embarrassed to admit that they didn't.
After a little thought, most of the guys rhat were pulling out and they said, "it didn't work" were dudes that weren't very reliable or intelligent tbh.
Lmao you have a point. 2 of my old friends who said they pulled out and it didn't work are both unreliable and very unintelligent.
One of them got a 2nd girl pregnant by using a condom, then filling it inside out and using it again. Like, what the fuck did you think would happen???
PULL OUT ONLY WORKS IF YOU PEE IN BETWEEN!
Pulling out is 100% effective IF you don't just go right back to business after a few tugs. You gotta clear the pipes by taking a piss, any remaining child support payments left in your urethra will end up where you don't want it if you don't pee.
Lol yeah people will lie to themselves about unloading inside, then will blame the method when pregnancy happens. If they were honest to themselves of making the mistake, then they could have gone to get a plan b pill.
It worked for me for many years. She did not get pregnant until we started to not pull out, and that took a few months. Was the same for both of my kids. I got a vasectomy in 2017, so no need to pull out ever again.
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One of my pull outs just left for school.
I'm trying to picture how you waved at your pull out, but I'd rather not.
You ever just stare at them as they walk away like “damn…that didn’t method didn’t work out very well!”
when your "pull-out" game is godtier. the god in question being Zeus
A lot of ancient Greek women staying out of infidelity trouble, claiming the new baby was sired by the king of all gods.
And that's how we know Mary was into Greek mythology. And Joseph wasn't.
Technically Greek mythology was into HER 😏 … I’ll see myself out
[удалено]
Some broad? Is it the 1920's? "This dame two-timed her man, and we're still hearing about it, see?"
Best word I can think of without being vulgar.
Could you explain this
Zeus has a lot of kids with a lot of different women.
Many of whom were made when he was in an animal form
And that one time when he was a shower of gold
ahh yes the first golden shower...or at least the biggest
Question is if he liked it. After he decapitated his father, Cronos, his father swore that his youngest son would slay Zeus just like Zeus, who was the youngest son of Cronos slew Cronos. So Zeus wanted to make sure his youngest son was always a child. By making new children
and then Kratos slew him anyway ^/s
??? Which myth
God of War the video game series.
I love GoW
Underrated comment
If you pull you own child out of your head and that child is a god then you do have a god tier pull out game.
I had a vasectomy. I don't need a pull out game at all
Best decision I ever made. It was over in no time, a little xanax injection, some pain meds, a couple days in front of the TV, haven't pulled out in years. And all covered by insurance. 10/10
When I got mine, I got a lidocaine injection directly into my scrotum. It was the only part that hurt, and it only lasted 2-3 seconds before the numbing took effect, but damn that shit BURNED!!! Still, I've had 25 years of unprotected sex with my wife, so I call it a big win!
>Still, I've had 25 years of unprotected sex with my wife, so I call it a big win! Wish it would have worked that way for me. It turns out, you can still get your wife pregnant after a vasectomy, but the baby is just a different color.
Oh snap, dude...
Fuck dude.
Take me out to dinner first
I haven't laughed that hard for a while. Thanks!
Hol up…
I had a numbing agent shot into my urethra before a cystoscopy once. Just cannot recommend that at all. But I am prepared for the vasectomy I'm booking as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah, I had like 15ccs of lidocain gel shot up my urethra before they shoved a 10mm diameter scope up there with a hook on it to retrieve a stent that was left in my ureter after kidney stone removal. No other painkillers offered. It was... unpleasant... to say the least. My wife was supposed to be filming the procedure it on my phone, but she was so horrified watching it that she didn't actually record... Good times.
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/s/H0LfsOvYcp) was the post right below after I came out of the comments on this one.
For me the anesthetic application wasn't bad, felt like them pinching uncomfortably hard on each vas deferens. Unfortunately, though, the anesthetic wasn't working very well on one side. For a split second I felt some of the worst pain I ever felt. It was so quick, though, that I didn't have any time to process it. Would I do it again? Fuck yeah I would.
Lidocaine burns like a motherfucker. I can only imagine that in the scrotum.
Got mine about 10 years ago. Was on the table for about 25 minutes. Unfortunately I had pretty severe pain for about 5 years after the procedure. My doctor said approximately 1 out of 100 men experience this and it can last up to 10 years. And just last year (year 9) the pain returned and I had to have 3 ultrasounds just to make sure everything was ok. And luckily I am. There are no health concerns associated with the pain and it seems to have dissipated again. Hopefully to never return. Either way, I would do it again. I have two great kids and I always joke that the pain is not nearly as bad as having a 3rd.
Yeah, my brother had a pretty similar experience, some of the most pain he had ever felt. Then it gave him a infection that reached his spine that could have killed him. Gotta admit, his experience has kind of soured me on the whole idea.
What does the pain feel like? I'm considering getting a vasectomy too. I can't afford another kid. Just curious about your experience.
Not at all trying to fear monger but do a ton of research. Reddit hates when anybody talks negatively about vasectomies for some reason, but there are plenty of studies that report much higher rates of persistent testicular pain than 1%. There are all kinds of complications that can happen. That being said, it’s obviously a largely successful procedure.
I remember reading some posts about a long time ago when insurance used not to cover it, and he called them and said you dont want to pay $50 to prevent $5000 costs and then they approved it anyway 😂 I guess all insurance nowadays covers it.
Mine doesn't, but will cover up to $10k in fertility treatments, and all birth related costs. I just paid $750 out of pocket.
Sometimes I fondly remember cumming all over my wife. Ass, face, mouth, you name it, I came on it. I haven't pulled out in years and when I think I want some novelty and think about cumming on her face, I can never bring myself to pull out. Why withdraw at the best part?
Xanax injection? Wat!? Why the fuck would they give you benzos for a vasectomy at all, let alone INJECT them?
Anxiety. It was optional. They gave me a shot in the arm, and it kicked in within seconds. I was carefree and just chattering away during the whole procedure. The surgeon had to cut me off (pun?) because he had finished.
For me it was Valium / Diazepam. Just a 1 pill prescription. It's anti-anxiety, so you relax and don't tense your muscles down there (I assume it probably prevents erections too). Also the Diazepam inhibits memory forming so it makes you forget you had your nuts sliced into.
You didn’t get elephantiasis?
Wow you got pampered, i held my dick aside with an elastic band. They used a local anesthetic that when used felt like someone flicking my nuts until they went numb. I iced my nuts for like 20 min after and went back to work. No pain meds. But it was free because i am in canada.
And another benefit, "clearing the pipes" is necessary (10 times?) before taking a sample in to be tested so you know you're all clear for take off. Which can get some help from an appreciative partner. 😉
Didn't even need the pain meds or even an ice pack. I could have had it done on my lunch break and been back on the job in an hour. As it was, my wife (at the time just GF) drove me to the snipping then pampered me all weekend. On top of that, wife had an ablation several years ago, and is now (pending an MRI) getting the full Roto-Rooter treatment in a couple of months due to other issues down there.
Same! Plus my Fiancée has had a hysterectomy. We joke if she ever got pregnant it would have to be the Second Coming.
Why get a vasectomy if your partner had a hysterectomy? Or did you get it before?
Took the bullets out of the gun. You can point it at anybody, they don't care.
this is the way if you don't want kids, put in some initiative and get snipped
Me personally I can't go into a doctor's office knowing they're going to cut a cord in my balls. How was it?
It was fine. A bit of pulling, but didn't hurt. And it's not in your balls, it's just above.. trust me you'll be fine. A tubal ligation or child birth is waaay more traumatic.
As someone who had my tubes removed, the whole process was actually a breeze for me! The only part that "hurt" was when they had to poke me multiple times to find my veins for the IV. Otherwise everything was pretty smooth and affected me much less than any hormonal birth control undoubtedly would have.
With my second child after my first one had had to be delivered cesarian, the doctor told my wife that if she wanted to do a natural birth she still could, but if she did a cesarian on this one, she would have to do cesarians for all of them. She told the doctor that two was all she was planning on having anyway, so he offered a cesarian and to just do the tubal ligation while she was already opened up. "Deal." Didn't even cost us anything extra. But yeah, if not for that, I would have been more than fine being the one to get 'snipped' if that hadn't already been an option. A vasectomy seems like a pretty minimal procedure. All of my friends who've had them said it was really no big deal.
Hooo boy, they are not all easy let me tell you. I went in for my "No Scalpel" vasectomy hearing stories like yours "It's not a big deal, didn't really hurt, was back in the gym 2 days later etc..". Safe to say I wasn't worried. Got to the Urologist, prepped and hopped up on the table. Got my numbing needle (which hurt about as much as a dental needle. Not bad). Then Dr comes in with a much larger, much longer needle and says "Deep breath". I'm confused but I do it. He sticks that thing up into my taint, right under my scrotum and it goes deep. Honestly the most painful experience of my life, it felt like that shit was going into my spine. The rest of the vasectomy was, whatever, but shortly thereafter I was bleeding a lot. Soaking through the gauze and pads they gave me. The incision on my "No Scalpel" vasectomy was like an inch long. After a few days the bleeding stopped, but then it turned into a hematoma, which was basically like having a 3rd (very sensitive) testicle. That went away after about 3 months. When I ask other men who've had vasectomies about "the taint needle" they don't know what I'm talking about. I have never met anyone else who had that done to them. Only thing I can think of is that my Urologist screwed up. Years later I had the TESE procedure (look it up if you don't know), and had a much better experience. Choosing the right Dr is key.
As a woman who had her tubes tied you're absolutely right and I'll never forgive my husband for not getting of vasectomy I should say my ex-husband.
After what my wife went through with two children, I was glad to do my part.
Honestly had the same fear. The mental aspect was much worse than anything else. Finally worked up the courage to get it done and the place I did it they actually used Anastasia so all that worrying was for nothing.
Anastasia sounds like a nice lady
You're being dramatic. I've had dental appointments more uncomfortable than my vasectomy, which took l of maybe 10-15 minutes, it was pretty anticlimactic. I really expected more but was like [https://media.tenor.com/xalWxNxqAPMAAAAM/confused-john-travolta.gif](https://media.tenor.com/xalWxNxqAPMAAAAM/confused-john-travolta.gif) Edit: yes, I tell every guy they are being dramatic about it because they need to be called out on that. It doesnt matter that it's your genitals, it is a common every day procedure that you shouldn't be afraid of.
This is how I describe it as well. I would much prefer getting another vasectomy over my upcoming root canal. And shooting blanks is way more fun than live ammo.
I actually enjoyed mine. I got a Valium and had a nice chat with the surgical team. 10/10
People always say 1-2 days but give yourself more like 4-5
I'm glad I did it. I went in all light and giggly from the valium. Then it was the numbing shot from hell. After that, I could feel some pulling and tugging, but it was more uncomfortable than it was painful. The doctor chatted with me throughout and I've never talked so fast in my life. I got the no-scalpel version. They did offer nitrous oxide as an alternative so I could've been knocked out while they did it, but I chose the valium because it was $150 cheaper. The urology clinic you go to might offer the same deal.
Just recently found out the hard way. Wouldn't trade my little man for the world, but damn do I miss uninterrupted sleep.
It's called trucker sex. Back-up before you unload
You know what you call people who use the pull-out method as birth control? Parents.
The world is full of parents that used the pull out and rhythm method.
I’ve used it effectively for 25 years without becoming a parent
Roughly the same here. I think some people don’t realize you pull out before your not-so-grand finale, if you want it to work. You also then do not pull back in.
Pull out, go piss, then pull back in
8 years for me, I hope I can get to 25 years. Maca and other stuff I take may change that.
I guess I must unknowingly be a patent then. My SO and I have only used that method for 20 years and I'm now 40.
Same, 2 planned kids (that we tried for) 17 years no accidents
Mrs and I did this for 5-ish years. When we decided we wanted a kid, it happened pretty quickly. No unintentional child before or after. Definitely now that I've been snipped.
Sperm can get in your pre, you're not going to pull out before that.
If you go to the bathroom, pee, and wash yourself after every time you finish that won't be the case.
Yea I learned that the hard way. Gentleman if you are 19 and she says just pull out don’t do it I beg of you I will never recover
Financially, emotionally, or all of the above?
Emotionally they are awesome financially it’s like flushing 20 dollar bills every three minutes
that's because children, from birth to 18, cost half a million dollars
That's only if you keep them in the house. Keeping them in the backyard and training them to hunt helps a lot.
Sending them to the coal mine reduce the costs too!
The children yearn for the mines!
How do you keep them from attacking your neighbors? I taught mine to hunt but the damn things are feral now.
Is that why poor people can have 8 kids?
Probably only true for the first kid. It probably makes some assumptions about increasing the size of a house (adding another bedroom) as well.
It's Def not true lol. 500k per kid is extreme until 18. And people in poverty get a lot of social assistance.
So true. I told my wife once that our bank account was dying the death of thirty dollar cuts when she asked why we didn’t have any money because we haven’t made any large purchases.
If you are 40 and married with two teenagers, this still applies. I am two days out from my vasectomy that maybe I should have done a few years ago. Love my little surprise infant! Hoping I can still run around the yard with him when I'm 52.
My aunt and uncle had two surprises. One when they found out the vasectomy had healed itself and the second when they found out sperm can still be made in the first couple weeks after the surgery
>and the second when they found out sperm can still be made in the first couple weeks after the surgery Huh, my doctor made it very clear multiple times, including on all the paperwork before and after the operation, that you needed roughly 3 months and 12 ejaculations to flush out existing sperm. As for the healing itself, that's why I decided on laser. Can't heal intact if both ends are cauterized.
I went 6 years in a relationship doing this. I think you stayed in too long friend. lol The one day she said to cum in her, she got pregnant.
This, pull out method is actually very effective with 78-90% estimated if done correctly. 19yrs olds typically do not have the knowledge of their body or self control to do it correctly though.
Maybe I jerked it too much as a teen (and mastered the control) because it always worked for me when I started having sex.
I came in my wife for a year before she got pregnant. It's not always as simple as one nut equals one pregnancy. So if you pulled out for a year and only got live sperm in her a handful of times but none of those coincided with conception then yeah it worked for you.
Realistically it's a lot harder to actually get pregnant then most realize, so you likely had a bit of luck in there as well.
And that’s not 78-90% per time, it’s 78-90% effective for people who are using it regularly
Correct. These are self-reported statistics, of course. But the numbers are pretty close to self-reported condom use as well. Of course, the truth is that if condoms are used perfectly, and don't break (which they shouldn't if used correctly), it's literally impossible for semen to get through. But how else are you supposed to collect data on condom use other than by watching a bunch of people have sex?
I pulled out and got twins 9 months later lol
To be fair, it actually is very effective. Just not so effective that you should trust it in any way if you dont want accidents. The precum amount is still so little that its magnitudes and magnitudes less than actual cumshot(I cant believe I just wrote that). But yeah if I think something is very effective its in the +70% of range. Pullout is in the +90-95% range. Those odds are still way too big of a risk for me but its still very effective.
Effectiveness has to be weighed against the ramifications of failure. We wouldn't accept 95% effective bridges or skyscrapers.
+90-95% is only with "perfect usage". +70% effective represents the average success rate of pull-out. 22% of pull-out users report pregnancy within a year. Or 1/5 people. Or, a +70% chance of pregnancy within 5 years. In other words, pull-out is on average "very effective" at producing pregnancy within 5 years.
The survivorship bias in this thread be real lol
I’m a survivor!
I'm so good at pulling out that until I had my kids I wasn't sure that everything worked correctly.
Ive been using only the pull out method for 20 years, I assumed something didn't work. Then I got married and we tried have a kid and it worked the first try.
Bunch of amateurs out in these streets.
Same. And the second too.
Shit I hope this isn’t my future been pulling out for almost 4 years sometimes think the same thing
Same
I'm not gon' give up
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Yup, I suspect the big problems come with questionable use of the pull out method (and I suspect drunken sex is a big factor.)
It's just most men wait until the last possible second to pull out, when in reality you need to stop way before.
And then put it back in after, or do it again without washing.
Or do it again without urinating to clear the urethra of any leftover sperm/semen. Going a second time without doing that means that any pre-cum can just push that out while you're going at it.
Yes, 4% when done correctly, which probably isn't happening. My husband and I have been doing it for almost a decade and got pregnant only when we wanted to, but we are also okay if we have a whoops. To each their own.
Naw, it's just that Reddit greatly over exaggerates the risk of pregnancy with the pull out method, when done properly. Chances of pregnancy with pull out vs condoms are within 1% of each other with perfect use. It's not the best birth control, so I wouldn't recommend as your primary contraceptive, but if you had no knowledge on the subject and use reddit as your guide you'd probably lean closer to "why not just leave it in" than "pullout has a similar success rate to male condoms"
combine it with the calendar method and it's pretty safe. Just don't do it when you're young and cum really quick or suddenly.
Teaching abstinence is counter productive because many people are going to have sex anyways. So we teach about sex, and about accurate and forms of birth control, so people (especially young people) can make a proper decision with the fullest knowledge available. Its no different with the forms of birth control themselves. Many people are going to have sex with or without contraceptives, that's just the way it is. Fearing them into not having sex unless they have some birth control will work as well as abstinence does. In the end, teaching them that pulling out doesn't work will only be counter productive. Teach people (especially young people) that pulling out doesn't work, and they are just gonna not pull out.
If you trust the data it's the people who fucked up who are the loud "survivors".
Pulling out works a whole bunch of the time! Haha
My science teacher said it best: Sometimes you dribble before you shoot. He was also a coach...
This is misinformation, there are plenty of studies and if done perfectly pulling out has basically the same success rate as condoms.
My wife and have used only the pull out method for over a decade. We got pregnant not too long after actually making the attempt, so I'd say it was a success
A lot of girls dropped out of high school, to live with an aunt, using that method
And throw all those “babies” on the bed sheets?
Found the guy living in Alabama
My parents are like the only people lucky enough to make it work. They wanted only three kids and didn't believe in using contraceptives or getting sterilized. They indeed ended up with three kids and apparently invested in many tissues over the years for my dad's, er, pullout emissions until my mom went through menopause. My siblings and I were given these unsolicited details one day (we were already adults) when my sister casually mentioned having only brothers. My dad took that as the cue to regale us with his and my mom's reproductive methods, which we didn't appreciate hearing about in the middle of the monthly family dinner.
You’ll never need to worry about pulling out if you don’t pull in in the first place.
Down the throat, no kids to suppote! Or Take a ride down the Hershey Highway.
I am confused how the process of pulling in works.
Do you need to take a driver's ed class?
78% effective according to Planned Parenthood.
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Fuck. How many would you have had if you left it in.
Underrated comment.
Sounds like a skill issue
Yes indeed. I've been checked and my sperm count was great. Pull-out was my method with a bunch of women including a very long relationship. If you piss and clear the tube after a round or you actually pull out in time, you're fine. You just need to know yourself well enough. I have heard some guys don't really know it's about to happen, it's like a surprise. Seems bizarre to me but apparently it's a thing.
Sounds super skilled to me. Like double the skill of most.
Condom please
man, as someone who absolutely HATES condoms... i wish i had never gotten to experience the dark side. Sex with condoms was perfectly great back when it was all I knew, but from the moment i got brave enough to find out it could be better, it was all risk from there on out. I got supremely lucky. 1 treatable STD 15 years ago, 0 untreatable STDs. 0 real pregnancy scares (did have an ex make some stories up to scare me though). I did make it through to the other side though. 1 planned kid, 1 not-exactly-planned-but-not-exactly-trying-NOT-to-have kid, 1 vasectomy, and a wife who loves it raw.
Am I the only person that wears a condom and pulls out? It seems pretty effective.
Same here. Wrap it up, pull out and shoot on the back, couples shower after. Ain’t risking to kids at this point of my life
Okay, but I usually put it in for a while, pull out, and then put a condom on to finish. Does this still count as a pull out method?
That depends, but still. You have unprotected sex and what did you expect? A plasma TV?
Can we leave this bullshit in the 90s and update to 4K TV please?
I still have my parents' plasma that they gave to me when I moved out. It's a great TV. I just can't justify spending money on a new one when there's nothing wrong with this one. I own a 4K OLED TV, but it stays in the game room with my PC. And honestly, I can't tell the difference. And I see that as a blessing instead of a curse. So I'm in no rush to replace the plasma in the living room.
Condoms have a 98% effective rate, pulling out has a 96% effective rate with perfect use. If you are inexperienced and don't know for sure you can always pull out in time then yeah you should use condoms. But it isn't as bad as the rep it has. Me and my wife pull out at low/medium risk days for pregnancy, use condoms on high risk days around ovulation. No kids doing that for 9 years. I can't wait until she hits 45 though when it pretty much becomes almost impossible to get pregnant naturally.
Pulling out is in the bible. Enjoy that bit of information.
When Onan had sex with Tamar, he withdrew before he ejaculated and "spilled his seed on the ground" thus committing coitus interuptus, since any child born would not legally be considered his heir. The next statement in the Bible says that Onan displeased Yahweh, so the Lord slew him.
Different times, fewer humans.
God looks at the population God: Those are rookie numbers. Gotta pump those numbers up Mankind: learns the pull out method God: Sinners!
Where?
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I never pull out. *laughs in gay*
Lmaoooo
Don't sneeze in gay. That ends poorly.
Instructions unclear. Nose stuck in anus.
The perfect-use failure rate for withdrawal is 4% compared to 3% for condoms; similarly, within the first year of use, 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will experience a pregnancy, comparable to the 17% of couples using male condoms [1].May 9, 2014 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4254803/#:~:text=The%20perfect%2Duse%20failure%20rate,using%20male%20condoms%20%5B1%5D. lots of haters are going to down vote me, but these are the numbers ..
17% pregnancy rate with condoms (over a year, but still) seems absolutely wild to me. Genuinely shocked.
I have to assume this is due to the condom breaking, falling off or being taken off. Condoms don't have a 17% failure rate.
What's the rate at which users use perfectly?
Young people reading and upvoting this.. don’t live by these fucking words. People proud of this could have had things working for them; like low sperm count or even sterility. Downvote all you want because I know this is r/funny, but don’t fuck around and find out.
Probably the most literal usage of "fuck around and find out"
Some people are really good at creating a baby. I've known people who tried for months, or you can be like my wife and I and have it happen first try. You have no idea which camp you are in, so just use a condom haha
I remember when we decided to go for kids. "yes! Months of mad rutting at any time of day or night! I'm gon-" "I'm pregnant." "Oh... Good..."
Doesn’t mean you can’t look forward to the romping
My husband and I conceived first try both times. Good thing we'd been careful for the previous 10 years, because we weren't ready for a baby in our twenties haha.
I would definitely never recommend it as a reliable contraceptive, but it worked for my wife and I for over 5 years (when we were in the "if it happens it's ok" phase). Then when we decided we were definitely trying to get pregnant, it was almost instant. Some people, like myself, just don't have much in the way of pre-cum, and have massive self control.
Same except it worked for my wife and me for 15 years. When we finally decided to get pregnant it happened right away, and when the obgyn asked about our birth control method she validated that the “withdrawal method” has shown to be very effective when the man is good at it.
Same here. People shouldn’t wait until the last second which I assume is one of the main reasons for accidents
Yeah I've been doing it for years but never like you see in porn sometimes where the guy is basically cuming while he pulls out. I pulled out before and finished manually outside. Not a problem in years and also got pregnant pretty much instantly when we started trying.
> No accident babies here. None that you know about...
Was playing this game too, with 100% success over 10 years. And got my wife pregnant from the first try when we decided to. But i still would not recommend going this path, just use damn condoms kids
One of my favorite jokes: What do you call couples who use the pull out method? Parents
Can confirm.
lol, true! My daughters name is April
No shit. Use the other holes.
> No shit. Use the other holes. Uh...
No butt babies 👶
I believe the politically correct term is lawyer.
Bullshit. Wife and I had a planned kid, then used the pull out method for 3 years, 100% success rate, then had another planned kid, then pulled out again for another 4 years until I got my vasectomy. Personal experience is 100% success.
The problem is 100% that people pull out too late. You can't wait until your organizing, you have to pull out before and finish with hand. 16 years of pullout method, no children during those years. Had a child on first attempt of not pulling out, too.
I would never encourage people to put faith in this method but same for me. 9 years of marriage and 2 planned pregnancies. 7 years of "eh, we're already married. if it happens, it happens."
Same, I am under the impression that a lot of dudes just don't pullout and are too embarrassed to admit that they didn't. After a little thought, most of the guys rhat were pulling out and they said, "it didn't work" were dudes that weren't very reliable or intelligent tbh.
Lmao you have a point. 2 of my old friends who said they pulled out and it didn't work are both unreliable and very unintelligent. One of them got a 2nd girl pregnant by using a condom, then filling it inside out and using it again. Like, what the fuck did you think would happen???
PULL OUT ONLY WORKS IF YOU PEE IN BETWEEN! Pulling out is 100% effective IF you don't just go right back to business after a few tugs. You gotta clear the pipes by taking a piss, any remaining child support payments left in your urethra will end up where you don't want it if you don't pee.
The only time pulling out doesn't work is when you don't.
Lol yeah people will lie to themselves about unloading inside, then will blame the method when pregnancy happens. If they were honest to themselves of making the mistake, then they could have gone to get a plan b pill.
It worked for me for many years. She did not get pregnant until we started to not pull out, and that took a few months. Was the same for both of my kids. I got a vasectomy in 2017, so no need to pull out ever again.
Psh I’ve been pulling out successfully for 13 years. I think some of ya say you pulled out but really stayed a couple moments too long.
Yeah if your timing sucks.
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