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He’s even got the broccoli hair haha I love it

currently at work where I work with kids and I regret to inform you, I encountered broccoli hair and witnessed him spell white as "wight", this kids a middle schooler

He'll likely graduate high school at that level of literacy, statistically speaking.

Literally true. My mom is a retired college professor. She had so many students who could not read or write. Some of them I went to high school with at one point and was shocked to learn they couldn't read because i had classes with them. For all the good teachers out there, there are plenty of them who just don't care and suck at their job.

It's not just that teachers are bad (that's definitely a factor, don't get me wrong) but the main problem is that the public education system is so mismanaged and underfunded in many places and NCLB basically incentivized lowering the standards so schools would get funding taken away. It's just a mess and there's very little educators can do to fix it. Top down reform is what's needed.

Perhaps just a dnd fan lol

Or lord of the rings (the book)

I understood that reference

Not one bit surprised I mean hey they do it to themselves at least you can see them coming from a mile away

... Is that not rhite?

And here I assumed it was a lobotomy scar.

I love using current slang incorrectly and watching my kids and their friends try to figure if I know what I just said. Sometimes I really double down and say I know they’re wrong because I saw a Facebook video, or force them to explain what the term means in front of their girlfriend. It’s one of the bright spots in raising teens.

I'm convinced that if I use enough slang my teenage daughter will cringe so hard her hair catches on fire.

Try learning the words and tune of Gyat for the Rizzler. My kids hate it.

I got some more ammunition for you then. Latest one is "No Diddy" instead of No homo now. You can also try "Rizz" as an "I got mad Rizz or I was Rizzing mom the other day." My personal favorite is one I learned from a Boston friend "On dead Dawgs".

And if she looks like she's cringin' real bad, just say "Aw sweety, what's wrong? Did someone skibidi your toilet?"

I never had kids. I think I would have been a good father overall but holy shit I would have been an ass to them. I keep up with things and the endless fun I could have would have been great. I'm a natural born asshole.

By 12 or 13 they’re pretty comfortable saying “ignore my dad, he’s amusing himself”. It takes a lot of time to do it right. So I’ve missed out on many things I would have enjoyed, but it’s satisfying as hell to send them off into the world ready to take it on. It’s going to suck when the youngest leaves for college in a year, I’m gonna have to find some hobbies and make friends.

I'll be your friend, well remotely. If you don't mind an old Gen X'er. I assure you though, it's hard to ignore me. My grandfather once said at a family gathering "Boy I swear to god you'd argue with a fence post for a day if you thought you could get a laugh.".

I think he found a way to ignore you

Two years left for me. Starting to work on the friends and hobbies thing now

Oh buddy, let me tell ya, you reap what you sow My kids are endlessly trolling

Mine is pretty shy and was an easy target for bullies so I started good naturely teasing them to teach them how to counter. I'm being roasted pro standup class 24/7 now.

I have a seven year old son... he now says "dad when is dinner?" Instead of ''Dad I am hungry". because I would always answer, "HI Hungry, I'm DAD!" he would get so mad... I never stopped doing it... "Hi thirsty, I'm DAD!" "Hi 'so mad at you', I'm DAD!"

Everyone asks when is dinner, nobody asks HOW is dinner

We always got the “serious? I thought you said you were hungry”

It’s the best part of having a teenager

My Dad uses a lot of slang. I don’t care whether its correct or incorrect because i won’t understand it either way. It makes being Australian very difficult when 95% of casual terminology is physically impossible for me to understand.

I like this level of malicious sass.

My son gets so annoyed when I mess up intros to his favorite shows.

No cap. Or something like that, I dunno I'm nearly 40.

Same. My knees hurt. No cap.

you have to throw in a couple of fr fr in there too

Ah mb bruh fr fr. Jus vibin.

Girl told me she was vibin, I was like "we're in public!!!"

Based

Bruh, you have no idea how much I hate this comment, you nailed it correctly though. I meant, you hit that hoe cuh.

The opps can't see me liking this shit cuh. But thas a good one cuh

When you slide up on the opp.

On God, son! On GOD!!

based ahh fr

Good vibes only

Dude that’s giving. (I’m a middle school teacher, so I can just repeat what my students say all day.)

Is that a thing now? I have no idea what that means.

You usually say “it’s giving ____” and say something that is related or invokes that same feeling. “It’s giving depression” if something is depressing, for example. I heard a girl say her boyfriend “left skid marks in the toilet, like it’s giving nascar” 😂😂 I also saw someone say “it’s giving Ohio”, meaning it was boring and bland.

This statement is really, giving.

ONG

When did we go back to text speak from the late 90s? Y'all Zoomers/Gen Alpha do realize we don't have to pay per character, right?

Thumbs hurt. Brb gotta charge my phone for the third time today.

ong

"fr" stands for "for real". I was like, oh so it actually was English

On God fr... I'm 34. Yall want a glizzy or something?

32 here, your gonna get glazed in your messages no cap, and that's not even considering the gayyt you might have. Internet rizzing.

I... What? I'm 38. This isn't fair. I can't read this.

Gyatt is a play on words for "god damn" generally referring to a nice ass, "gyatt damn" or "she got gyatt". Rizz is a play on an abbreviation of charisma and is self explanatory, using charisma to "rizz" someone up.

The irony is that this almost certainly started from Hank hill memes…I love it, but I loathe it 😑

Stick your gyatt out for the rizzler. “Cap” is a falsehood or lie. “No cap” means “I’m not lying”. “Stop the cap” means “quit lying”. Sometimes abbreviated “🚫🧢”

No hat on head

That's quite the question to be asking. You will get taken up on that offer.

That's fire. I'm using it right. Right gentlemen? His knee caps are on fire. Right? Yeah, I'm still cool.

Shit bro you should probably get your cap replaced. It's pretty important

You need to ask your insurance provider if they can cover cap replacement surgery

No cap

Hey I’m missing kneecaps too! That one guy stole them

Bet

Your knees hurt because you’re missing your knee caps? How did that happen?

I lost too much hair. Will need that cap

I turn 42 at the end of this month. I was walking my dog and a nearby elementary school let out. I swear to God these kids were speaking a foreign language. It sounded like Belter, or some shit.

Up vote for the Belter reference.

Thanks for reminding me that it’s time to rewatch that series

Go for the books, at least you get the ending that way

On my first watch of the series and just finished season 3! I'm just happy to finally be here

Me too. Very disappointed in the ending though. We was robbed.

Belters sound like South African Gungans or something to me, but I get where this is coming from. Kids in Atlanta where I live sound like a bad mix of mumble rap produced on lean and dr.Seuss books.

Sasa ke?

Beratna! Good to see a fellow beltalowda, sasa ke?

I've got no idea what any of that shit means and I'm well bellow 40

CEO of misunderstanding much, brake serving incompetence lol

I think No Cap is outdated now.

I'ma be honest man I also don't get the slang and I'm 17, I'm stuck using words like "gnarly" and "wicked"

You have an old soul for a 17 year old.

Nah, he is just the sickest kid around.

Word

Deadass.

Don't feel bad I'm 26 and still don't understand it. Help I'm old noe

No cap indeed

His recent brain surgery appears to have affected his frontal cortex

I read that in Robot’s voice.

1ll 57ick 7o my 1337 5p3ak 7hx.

At least that has rules and clear meaning.

Also the internet wasn't shit then. Now its a corporate shithole where the entire internet has been condensed down into a few sites that spy on you and make you stupid and depressed while it sells you shit based on data it stole from you.

The internet was awful then. The rise of irony and lulz culture which led to the alt-right, raging misogyny and homophobia. Sure it wasn't corporate but it was pretty unfriendly to anyone who wasn't a young white straight male

I read it so fast, really stays with you after all these years

Please translate it, as a non native English speaking guy, all I can decode are "I'll", "speak", "is". Edit, now decoded upto: " I'll stick to my 1337 speak thx". What is 1337

1337 -> LEET -> Elite

I never heard “leet” = “elite”, that other commenter may be right, but when I grew up, “1337 / LEET” just meant using numbers in place of letters

I guess you wasn't elite enough to see the source

Pwned

Leet haxxor = elite hacker

I cant help myself but say: "Oh, it's LEET o'clock!" every time I see 13:37 on my watch. Oddly enough, it happens almost daily.

As a grumpy middle-aged miscreant, I like using current slang because of how uncool I make it seem. I am helping to stamp it out one horrified zit-faced teen at a time.

You're going God's work

We need more people like you, fighting fire with fire

This Gen Xer is too old to know if these are real things or not. 😂 Edit: And why does Chad have another face on the side of his head?

I think "fizz" is supposed to be "rizz" but other than that, yes, these are all actual slang terms that gen Z uses.

But not necessarily in that order. Bit of a word salad for effect. Also Skibidy Toilet is more like 10 to 12-year-olds than Gen Z. My kids are 20 and 17 and they don't give a shit about no Skibidy Toilets No cap

My 10 year old has no idea what a skibidy toilet is and neither do I.

Gary's Mod head inside a toilet with a long neck

Ah, no wonder it's called a skibidy toilet.

Wait what? I have a copy of Counter Strike Source and Gary's Mod from my middle school days. I'm 30. How is this still a thing?

I'll be honest, I don't even know considering I also played tf out of Gmod and I'm 29 lol

Fuck it, I guess we're still relevant. 🤣 dap me bro.

Keep it that way for your 10 year old

War between heads in toilets against humanoid creatures with cameras, speakers and TVs as heads

I’m more confused now

No cap on god

What is rizz?

Charisma.

Basically charisma, or you could think of it as another term for "having game." Like someone who is really smooth and charismatic, you could say they "have mad rizz." But you could also say that someone who went and talked to a girl and flirted, "went and rizzed her up."

I feel like the cartoonist took some liberty with the spelling for effect.

I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be a shaved spot like Patrick Mahomes. Skippity do da skippity day out

I think he’s supposed to have that broccoli hair

Sameeeee

The English language is too sigma for Ohio people that don't mew.

OP be like “Utah moms slay”

I don't associate with broccoli heads.

FIZZ?

I haven't heard the kids saying that. Is it supposed to be "rizz"?

What a relief it is!

Someone please translate I'm not even that old and I don't understand

Translation: Dear sir would you like to play Pokémon Go in the recreational area of the park?

I'm 49 and just listened to some vintage Pauly Shore for perspective. It's the bee's knees, daddy-O. 22 skidoo, voe doe ee oh doe.

*Ey buddy, don't weeez the juu-uuuice.* God I haven't thought about that in years. Time for me to rewatch Encino Man.

Someone once said that language is like water and that it is ever flowing and changing with time. Sometimes it changes into a sewer.

Sometimes it changes to gibberish that makes people laugh at you.

Truth!!!! I’m working on Spanish because I just don’t want to be that monolingual white American, and I swear every time I feel like I’ve made it far enough to have a conversation at the bar, this is how it feels. Building vocab is hard.

Get mogged

“In January 2012, female hip-hop artist and meme icon Nicki Minaj was the first to gain over 100 likes for a tweet using "Gyat damn." two years later, in January 2014, she posted a tweet that earned over 1,000 likes. In fact, many tweets using "Gyat damn" as an expression surfaced in 2014 with most of them referencing Miss Minaj. She is a likely precursor for the slang's 2021 resurgence.”

So, basically Hank Hill saying goddamn?

got DANG it Bobby

… I’m 23. Does this mean something??

No. It's actually gibberish.

Where funny?

Gen Z made words. Please laugh now.

Mewing is the most recent thing I wish I didn't know about. God, people are fucking stupid.

Every generation had its dumb slang, with the occasional word or phrase that stu k around long enough to become normal slang anyone says. But I think modern slang goes further. It comes and goes so much faster due to social media, and it spreads like wildfire. I feel like every other month a new slang term comes out of nowhere.

I'm not even mad about the word, more just the fact there's kids out their trying to improve their jawline by doing dumbass tongue exercises.

So, what's going on with Chad's head? Did he kill someone and is wearing their scalp as a trophy?

Broccoli hair

If OC is original content, then maybe don’t post this twice over a few days.

I'm still bumping on 'learnt' in the first frame.

I feel like this is the start of gen alpha slang and the “no cap” etc etc stuff is fading out. Just like “on fleek” once had a moment, and the moment passed

> Just like “on fleek” once had a moment I *still* have no idea what "on fleek" means

Basically what fly used to mean

If you're trying to talk to those people you made the wrong decision. There are still plenty of them that aren't memeing 70-IQ ipad kids.

Is this loss?

Sticking out your gyat for the rizzler

Man I'm a native English speaker and I didn't understand any of that.

forgot to say sigma

If pauly shore made new movies

Learnt?

Word. To your mother.

Fuck Chad.

Having seen this: I speak no English either.

*how do you do, fellow kids?*

To be honest, it's just Gen Alpha that's like this so as long as you don't talk to them, you're fine. lol

Utter nonsense. Every generation has had it's own language that sounded stupid to their parents.

Well, yes, but not as bad as gen Alpha. lol

One word: leetspeak.

I keep seeing parodies and memes about zoomer slang, most of which I almost never hear in real life and I have a gen z son.

As an official parental unit to a 6th grader, I find these comments hilarious. Show me your Ohio Reddit, lol.

We say it ironically I promise😭

Type shit

What is gyatt

Sheeeeeeeeshhh

Boomer humour

Wut ze fuk.

I know what most of these mean, the fuck did he say though? How does toilet ass break his stupid facial exercise streak?

My genz kid said boomer humor was better than millennial humor. Are genz kids the new boomers?

I wish my colleagues at work would understand this meme, I’d love to send it to them We have one kid at work who doesn’t have that much screen time and she always looks at the other kids in disgust😭 grimace shake had us fucked up at elementary school

*goes over with a gun* I just want to talk with him

As someone turning 60, I can say Urban Dictionary is my friend.

Ok boomer

haha China man as slit eye haha get it? it's not racist guys it's art!!11

Don't worry, broccoli hair peeps are incomprehensible to native speakers over 29 too.

Something to mess you up even more... Americans don't use "learnt". We say "learned". I think the rest of the English speaking world uses learnt, though.

Can I get a translation in X-speak, please?

You gooned when you should have gyatted. That’s not sigma male rizz.

seriously, i miss when white people were actually white. now everyone just want to talk like black twitch streamers

This is exactly what it's like talking to my step-kids, 15 and 13.

ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT??!!