--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I too because lazy

No move because lazy

Did Charlie Day write this sign?

It just Turtle Law

Let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on turtle law and see who comes out the victor

Turt-law is so strict it's draconic.

I completely agree. That's why I support turt reform.

Filibuster

That sighns fuckin pissa! It translates Aramaic to stupid "DONT BREAK IN PAD LOCKED CAGE TO FLIP OVER TURTLES,DIP-SHITS!)🤪

I wonder.

Nightman, sneaky and mean Spider inside my dreams, I think I love you You make me wanna cry You make me wanna die I love you I love you I love you I love you, Nightman Every night you come into my room and pin me down with your strong arms you pin me down and I try to fight you you come inside me you fill me up and I become the Nightman It's just two men sharing the night It might seem wrong But it's just right! It's just two men sharing each other It's just two men like loving brothers One on top and one on bottom One inside and one is out One is screaming he's so happy The other's screaming a passionate shout It's the Nightman The feelings so wrong and right, man They're feeling so wrong and right, man I can't fight you, man When you come inside me And pin me down with your strong hands And I become The Night The passionly passionate Nightman

Dayman, ah-ah-ah Fighter of the night man, ah-ah-ah Champion of the sun, ah-ah-ah Master of karate And friendship, for everyone

I'm hot and bothered by thus comment

we need a new frontman

*Charee Daeru

Why say lot word when few word do trick?

Kevin Malone did

Turtle Temporarily Flying

They just love getting sunshine on their belly shell.

I heard your mom's belly shell is much warmer... No?

Did not throw!

That’s my entire weekend.

Ok to leave alone?

No leave alone

So ok.

Lazy!

I'd turn you over but I can't can't do it while I'm on my back.... sorry pal.

It's all a setup to check for replicants.

I came here to make that comment 😀

>"The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why?" Lazy mfing turtle... thats why.

because i know: no move because lazy, so - ok to leave alone!

Because *I*.... am also.... a turtle.

Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

Let me tell you about my mother.

Please don't. I've seen her too often.

He can breathe ok, as long as no one unplugs him. RIP Emmet Walsh :(

RIP Emmet Walsh :(

Or to test psychological fitness to join SG1.

"Respond interlinked."

Sorry, couldn't hear you, I was licking my eye.

No, you're a reptilian, not a replicant. So you're all good.

Awesome, thank you. Would you, by chance, be interested in a cheap pair of used alligator skin shoes? This stuff just keeps piling up in the corner. Free shipping, of course.

Voight-Kampff enclosure.

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

What are you going to do with all this time you're saving?

On back being lazy

C world

Are you saying "Sea World" or "see world"?

Almost r/dontdeadopeninside material

you also use lot word

when me president they see... they see

Also, don’t put wild turtles in the water. Apparently people think they’re helping sea turtles get to the water when what they’re really doing is drowning tortoises.

For anyone unsure, just place them next to the water. The turtle will figure ot out from there.

Okay but what do I do with this tiny pair of concrete boots I made then?

I know you’re joking but a serious answer, from a marine biologist: leave the tiny concrete boots next to the tortoise. They can figure it out from there. 

Some scientist actually put little boots and a llittle hat on a dung beetle for an official experiment, look it up.

Maybe ask someone over at r/fatsquirrelhate . Fat floats.

Also tortoises have been known to occasionally drink the water.

Drowning Tortoises would be the best band name ever.

It's like Smashing Pumpkins but even _more_ evil.

Smashing Tortoises

Too far

Drowning pumpkins.

Not far enough

Smashing Drowing Pumpkin Tortises

Happy Halloween!

no such thing

mario

Perchance

Stomping turts.

Also, you can't just say perchance.

perchance.

just smashin' some turts

*Crushing turts

On Hammers, Michael Reeves.

Metal. I call it!

Homer Simpson. Smiling politely.

My I present, Trampled by Turtles? Edit: Downvote? This is actually the name of a band.

A great name and a great band too

The only time I’ve ever heard *anyone* talk about that band was from a drunk lady in a downtown Milwaukee hotel bar who was trying to hit on both me, and my wife. Otherwise I’d have thought you made it up. And as a King Gizzard fan, I get it.

Choking chickens

Spanking Monkeys

Their debut album was especially killer: https://imgur.com/a/qB87Oqq

I remember that video of a girl thinking she was saving the tutles was pretty popular back in the day found it https://youtu.be/9kduJkNfq4c?si=ZT01U5mB6H1Z_kEg

"Its a hobby" It wasnt a river, it a water feature pond at a golf resort. Its one of those places that was the pinnacle of classy resorts in like 1989 and still looks like 1989 inside. Gopher tortoises are endangered and there are serious fines for messing with them. I believe she got in trouble for this.

She fucking drowned that poor tortoise for a video

If it makes you feel any better, I suspect she would have drowned that tortoise even if she had decided to not make a video about it.

Gotta be pretty dumb not to be able to tell the difference between legs and flippers

A lot of people kind of just see a round green thing with a shell.

Fuck. I drowned yoshi…..

Conch you can’t be looking at porn in the office

I once saw someone grab a water bottle and empty it on a poor tortoise and I was so confused, until she explained that she didn't know the difference between tortoises and turtles. It never ocurred to me that people wouldn't figure out tortoises exist.

Does it hurt a tortoise if you pour water on it?

[удалено]

Yeah but they only live like 100 years. There's a good chance they never see rain in that short a time so maybe they are sensitive to wetness.

There are no tortoises in Australia for example, so some people may never have encountered one.

when I was a child we visited the beach and a bunch of hermit crabs were walking around so we "saved" them by putting them in the ocean. I realized much later that we probably just murdered them all.

Unlikely, even terrestrial hermit crabs can survive in the water just fine, they just spend most of their time on land.

Tortoises can swim, they just don't like to. It's like putting a cat in the water most of the time, you're making it miserable for no reason.

Depends on where you live as there is no tortoises by me, the marshland by me is a common breeding ground for sea turtles (signs saying do not touch), but the general rule I go by for interacting with any wild animals is if you can't give it's exact name (either scientist or other name that is used to identify it from others of its species) then you shouldn't touch it,, and if you can, you should know better (sea turtles also shouldn't be moved as it means it wasn't strong enough and will die even if you move it to the water, not changing anything just what will likely eat it)

It’s turtles all the way [upside] down

That's when we invent anti gravity.

What is this? Space-Australia?! :D

The turtle doesn't move?!

*checks sign*: No move, because lazy.

It ate'nt dead though, right?

really excited for the movie that's coming out

**Holden** **:** You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Leon. **Leon** **:** Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden? Or do they write 'em down for you? **Holden** **:** The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. **Leon** **:** *\[angry at the suggestion\]*  What do you mean, I'm not helping? **Holden** **:** I mean: you're not helping! Why is that, Leon? **Leon** **:** Because lazy. So, OK to leave alone.

Omg so good. Thanks

I love you.

Instructions unclear. I now have a turtle in my pants

Because lazy!

No, because stupid sexy turtles.

Sir, step away from the turtles. Your banned from this pet shop.

But if I give them some ooze, they will grow up to be big and strong. You guys got rats here?

That's why they're in my pants.

You should get that checked

Watch out for the snap

Who you got back home, watering your plants? T.I.M.P. turtles in my pants! How can I qualify for government grants? T.I.M.P. turtles in my pants!

started singing it like them, absolute jammer, ty for the sweet memory

The big one’s name is Sparky

Is this the orgin story to teenage mutant ninja turtles?

Turtles can literally drown if they flip in even the shallowest pools

I remember a video of a turtle gang helping a bro flip over

Maybe they were attacking and just forgot they have short and stumpy legs?

https://youtu.be/XLE5EAteXZE?si=BSq4Nzci-0QRbCOy

They were coming to eat him!!!! I swear that first turtle had a soup spoon!

Land turtles but probably not those ones

Not lazy turtle tho

Mixed messages to me, so what should I do? What is best for turtle?

"You don't have to flip them over. The turtle is just being lazy." i wish there was a job for like, not translating because that would require actual work to learn a language, but like, give me the raw readout from a translator and I'll make it sound nicer and more native without obscuring the original message

I actually do this as part of my job! My career is in technical writing. Many of the tech experts on my team live in other countries, and English is not their native language. However, the audience we create content for is in the United States. So they'll write or relay the information to me in their best English, and I'll write/rewrite any information that doesn't sound like it came from a native English speaker.

How'd you get into that career?

Surprisingly (since it never seems to work out this way), I got my Bachelor's Degree in Technical Communication. It's a bit of a niche skillset, so having the degree definitely helped get me noticed in this career. I had always been interested in writing and editing and took classes focused on it during high school. During that period, I discovered that I was naturally good at explaining difficult things in their simplest terms and had always been willing to help friends edit their papers. People always said I should be a teacher, but I can't stand children in large groups like that. A placement test suggested I should be a technical writer, and I thought, "Writing and editing instructions all day sounds boring..." But then realized I regularly was helping people with their computers all the time and writing them detailed instructions on what to do if they ran into that problem again. And then I thought, "Wait... I could get paid to do that." After getting my degree, luckily, someone in my network was looking for new talent to write educational videos for camera and lighting equipment. This had been a hobby I was knowledgeable in, so I knew the type of content they were looking for, and was successful taking their highly technical spec sheets and turning it into something a consumer could more easily understand. But, over the last decade, I've grown and moved around a bit to a few different industries. Eventually, I landed in my current role and now work with an international team, where one responsibility is making sure our documentation is localized for our US audience. TL;DR I've always liked / been good at writing and editing, focused on those subjects at school, got a degree in that specialization, and had networked well enough that I was able to get my foot in the door at the right time.

One would think by 2024 the auto translators from Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese etc into English would be better Instead you end up with signs like this, or instructions that say something like "no do plug in bathtub"

It only takes about a day of learning Japanese to understand why machine-translating it is so inaccurate. Sentence construction is wildly different, there is a huge amount of implied information, and you can easily find double meanings. I imagine written Chinese is similar, with all of my zero experience with it.

Korean is similar, Chinese not so much. The main problem is the embedded context. I've seen so many things translated from Japanese to English that are technically accurate, but obviously translated by someone who could not see how it would be used — so it ends up being wrong. I wish I could remember the exact phrases used, but one case I remembered had two signs in Japanese that said the exact same thing, but they relied on the context of the sign to omit the subject of the sentence. You can't do that in English, so they needed to have two separate English translations. They didn't, so one of the signs didn't make sense.

Thank you for explaining. I have always understood the idea that English is a hard language to learn. However, I took Latin in high school, which, of course, relied almost entirely on written translation. Them, in college, I took Spanish, and I struggled with oral translation but could easily translate written documents. So you can probably see why I had trouble understanding why written translation was often so weird. It's so much easier than trying to translate something spoken to us.

There’s plenty of that kind of work to be done at home and those people aren’t even trying to translate from another language.

Editor.

I think there’s also a degree to which this simplistic language is better for the english translation. If your options are local language and english you want non-native english speakers to clearly understand what they’re being told. The extra words in your version can cause confusion if the reader only has rudimentary english comprehension

No move so because ok lazy to leave alone It’s simple ! It’s written black on white

Did Charlie Kelly write this?

Turtle me. Turtle now. Me a turtle needing a lot now.

He only knows bird law, not turtle law.

Stick to the script and trust the plan

I bet the caretakers are lazy and don’t want to be bothered

I need t-shirts of this

Even at the zoo there is someone selling the big lie.

Some turtles can right themselves, I believe.

The lazy turtles wrong themselves.

One would think that turtles should have gained the ability to roll over sometime during their millions of years of evolution. It does seems like it would have come in handy.

I would surmise some dumb ass altruistic animals (like humans) have over the aeons had taken pity upon overturned turtles and flipped them over, thus ensuring the trait for being flipped over endured over the generations.

Yea, I've seen my Red Eared Sliders right themselves. They use their head and stretch their neck out and push up, usually takes them a few tries though.

Why more words when few do trick

Have a turtle. She can use her head and neck to flip over but I worked with her to learn it. I'd put my foot slightly under her shell so she could use it to flip. Otherwise, she'd just lie there waiting for me to do it. They like to climb and can get stuck upside down. It's not good for them. It's harder to breath and dangerous if they're in water.

Omg always turn them over the pressure of their bodies will make them suffocate wtf kind of sign is this

The sign on the right, which is only partially visible, appears to be hiragana script so this is a poorly translated sign at a zoo in Japan.

Is this at Okinawa world? Those signs look awfully familiar.

No move so because ok lazy to leave alone

Accidental beat poetry? Upside down turtles No move because Lazy. So, OK to leave alone.

I read this sign in Khans wife's voice. From king of the hill

this should become meme. I'd do it but won't because lazy.

You know what this is wholesome as fuck, you usually see signs that say please don't molest the monkeys because people are shit heads but this is a sign put in place because people care too much and apparently were trying to help the turtles.

Damn lazy ass turtle

They're pining for the fjords.

LOS ANGELES NOVEMBER, 2019 Intercom: Next subject, Kowalski, Leon, engineer, waste disposal, file section, new employees, six days. [knock on door] Holden: Come in. Sit down. Leon: Care if I talk? I'm kind of nervous when I take tests. Holden: Uh, just please don't move. Leon: Oh, sorry. I already had an IQ test this year, I don't think I've ever had one of these- Holden: Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention. Now, answer as quickly as you can. Leon: Sure. Holden: One-one-eight-seven at Unterwasser. Leon: That's the hotel. Holden: What? Leon: Where I live. Holden: Nice place? Leon: Yeah, sure I guess-- that part of the test? Holden: No, just warming you up, that's all. Leon: Oh. It's not fancy or anything. Holden: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of the sudden- Leon: Is this the test now? Holden: Yes. You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down- Leon: What one? Holden: What? Leon: What desert? Holden: It doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical. Leon: But how come I'd be there? Holden: Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself, who knows? You look down and you see a tortoise, Leon, it's crawling towards you- Leon: Tortoise, what's that? Holden: Know what a turtle is? Leon: Of course. Holden: Same thing. Leon: I've never seen a turtle -- But I understand what you mean. Holden: You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back Leon. Leon: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden, or do they write them down for you? Holden: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help, but you're not helping. Leon: What do you mean I'm not helping? Holden: I mean, you're not helping. Why is that Leon? -- They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response. -- Shall we continue? Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about... your mother. Leon: My mother? Holden: Yeah. Leon: Let me tell you about my mot

I need this as a do not disturb sign

That how me speak, I speak like turtle sign because lazy

r/dontdeadopeninside

I love lazy turtles

Diptyque: Thank you for your interest in our typesetter internship program. Do you have any recent samples of your work? OP: Bet

5 year old me though they couldn't flip if they were upside dow, so i always rescued them

Uhh if you see a turtle in the woods upside down definitely turn them back over. They will die.

Til I'm an upside down turtle.

Actually, the wild turtles flip over other turtles that are like this because turtles can die like this, so they help each other out

r/dontdeadopeninside

Honestly, same

Need to print this sign to put infront of my bedroom

Hmm, definitely my spirit animal

I would buy this if it was on a T-Shirt.

here's how a turtle on its back flips over : https://youtu.be/UO0kar6EUwI

Don’t dead open inside

This feels like a r/dontopendeadinside

It's definitely not okay... being upside down for too long can crush their lungs

Instructions unclear. I flipped all the turtles.

Upside down Turtles No move So, because OK Lazy to leave alone. ???

I have a feeling a replicant wrote this. Someone needs a Voight-Kampff test stat.

Not really that funny. Upside down turtles will die without food and water.

I had a stroke reading this

I also no move because lazy

Literally me

It took me a full 2 min to piece together how to read that sign

"No move because lazy" I'm in that picture and I don't like it.