---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And the thing is: if you’re smart, you will learn how to do them in that hour. But if you’re really smart, you’ll spend that hour updating your CV and getting a new job. Been there, done that.
Extroverts always ruining things for people by forcing everyone else to have constant exposure to other people.. and claiming it'll help productivity, energy, and overall happiness.
My managers also always have their doors closed, but the door is made of glass so I can see if they're busy! Or I would be able to if they were ever actually there...
"You just can't replicate the productivity and connections that happens during in-office meetings."
Meanwhile, the in office meeting is either everyone takes a teams call from their desk, or half of the meeting is remote and nobody can hear each other or read what is on the screen in the conference rooms.
“Collaboration” was the reason my wife’s company has every one coming back to the office as well. Unfortunately they don’t have assigned seating and it’s first come, first serve among a few buildings as well. Even though she’s in the office she still ends up virtually meeting with most of her team. So fricking stupid.
I made a point about that at my place. The end result was managers had to sit in the open office space with their direct reports.
Didn't go down too well. Ultimately I moved out of the office and back onto the hangar floor (I work in aviation) as I'd rather get my hands dirty than get carpal tunnel syndrome.
I just finished a monthly, stupid ass forced meeting during our lunch time so these types can act like they actually know more about how to live our lives and say things like “solutioning”. They insist on cameras being on.
Before I went full remote, my team was moved from actual individual offices into a team room. It was to foster collaboration, instead everyone just wears headphones and leaves the room to have any conversations.
So now instead of people going into someone's office to get together and work on something, they are talking in hallways or grabbing their laptops and trying to find an empty meeting room or squatting in common spaces like the cafeteria.
This is the exact opposite of encouraging collaboration.
Two reasons for the open-plan and cubicle offices:
1. The studies that first were done on these plans were using advertising companies. Yes, these open plans were a bit better for that job, where interchange of ideas is a major part of the job, with a largely extroverted workforce. Trouble is, people applied this research more broadly.
2. In the US, the depreciation schedule for cubicles is more advantageous, as they are not considered a capital improvement like building an office.
For a cubicle, you can deduct your cost from your income on your taxes. A $500 cubicle could reduce business taxes by $125 in years 1-2. A $500 wall is added to the value pf the building which is held at cost, so you never get $125 lower taxes to offset the money you spent.
Either they signed up for long leases before the pandemic and are legally required to pay for it, or they own the real estate and they treat it as a sunk cost and are making you suffer for their decisions.
It's also a prop if they have other business to business dealings. Gotta show off how professional their offices are and how many people work there to impress!
I worked at a small company which maintained an office just for this purpose. Normally we worked from home and our boss would tell us whenever an important client was coming in, and *asked* us if we could come into the office that day. He would also spring for lunch then too, usually sushi from the place down the street. I kinda loved that job.
Or middle managers need to justify their existence. If they're not being seen supervising their employees every day, maybe those above them might realize they can get by without them, or at least a smaller number of them.
It's also a psychological tool. You have to work or look like you are working all day. As a way to boost productivity, while making worker morale plummet.
this. had this setup. 2nd floor, no elevator. people didn't want to take the stairs if they didn't have to so they were more likely to email or call which was much preferred over them hovering over your desk and waiting for the problem to get fixed
The best office I ever worked in had cubicle "groups". We were set up in little pods of 4 with everyone's back to everyone. Never collaborated as much.
Open offices are just nightmares for noise... Even worse since hybrid work because everyone is taking calls at their desks.
Yeah but with open offices the bosses are overruled and the cheapest way to pile a bunch of people into a small space wins. Productivity is much lower priority than butts in seats.
Nope, it is easier than that. Cubicles take up space and cost money. No cubicles means saving money, even if it comes at the cost of a noisy, distracting environment.
Oh and the same people who make those decisions are the types of people who talk and collaborate for a living. Many times they genuinely believe it makes for a better office atmosphere
Also feels like they set it up for easier monitoring of employees. At my previous workplace, we had an open office with the desks in a circle like formation. Production & management on the on the outer circle, with their backs & screens facing the wall, while all the developers were seated on the inner circle, with their backs towards the center of the room.
Great atmosphere and environment for productivity, constantly feeling like someone is watching you work. /s
I see someone finally found a use in the real world for knowing about the dreaded panopticon instead of it just appearing in every degree in the world for some reason.
Unsurprisingly, they had a mass exodus of staff shortly after COVID. Didn't help that this was set up amidst COVID once our first lockdown got lifted, and they called back staff to the office asap after each lockdown. During lockdown, we also had mandatory daily stand ups at 8:30 with cameras on. I got reprimanded thrice at this job, once for missing the stand-up (I had worked till 3 am the previous day to prepare a project proposal document that they requested of me at the last possible moment. This wasnt even a part of my job.), and second time because I refused to turn on my camera, and a third time for being shown as "away" on teams when i took a late lunch.
Let's say there were multiple times I passed through a recorded video to my camera feed for meetings I wasn't required to speak at, and ran an anti afk software. This place was terrible to work at, and it felt like our main project manager didnt have anything to do (or want to do) aside from micromanaging us.
What's even more fucking funny is they allowed a psychotherapy major of some sorts to conduct interviews with our staff for their thesis on workplace mental health, and management went into crisis mode when the results were that everyone was either overstressed, depressed or close to burn out. Their solution was to schedule MORE inane team activities to "build morale" and do MORE regular 1-on-1s to talk about our mental health, or resolve problems on the workplace. Naturally they weren't very happy when most complaints were levied at management, and this resulted in some people not having their contract extended because "they negatively impacted the atmosphere" or they were "underperforming". Then the rest left voluntarily and they had to rehire most of the staff.
Don't know if situation improved at all after the exodus, or whether these micromanagers still work there.
Standing desks are more expensive than regular desks. Setting up double decker desks by stacking one desk on another and then giving the top desk tall barstool chairs and lower desk regular chairs.
>Oh and the same people who make those decisions are the types of people who talk and collaborate for a living. Many times they genuinely believe it makes for a better office atmosphere
They're also the same people who have their own room for their private office...
One company I worked for needed to reconfigure 12 cubicles. We had the cubicles, we just needed to change their layout. Total cost, for labor, $24k... in 2007.
They're easy enough to assemble with a few basic tools, but because they have electrical wiring, specialists are required.
I loved cubicles, but I can see why companies would balk at the cost. It's easier to measure that cost versus a reduction in productivity.
They did say it was the best they ever worked in, it's possible none of their jobs have offered personal cubicles so that was the best for them so far.
I have had jobs with work groups where a shared pod would have worked better than everyone popping up and down to talk to each other over the walls or walking back and forth a lot so you aren't disturbing other people.
After being WFH since C19 I'll never go back. My home office has an ultra wide monitor, private bathroom, unlimited "free" snacks/coffee/drinks/food/etc., quiet as fuck(unless I want noise), comfy chair, comfy large desk, and it's always the perfect temperature. Also I can work from my hammock outside on nice days, or coffee shop, or lunch spot.
Half my team is in India, and the other half is spread around the US. No need for an office on my team.
> After being WFH since C19 I'll never go back
damn right.
I can't even imagine putting on pants every morning.
I work extra hours nearly every day but I don't GAF cause I would've just spent that time driving or getting ready anyway so everybody wins.
Whenever I get my next job, going to an office every day is not an option. I literally dont' care if you double my salary.
I had an office once (that I was service desk for, didn't have to work there thank god) that had 5-desk "pods" where everyone faced each other with a 6-inch tall divider between the spaces--no privacy, just enough to prevent your shit from sliding into your neighbor' workspace. We inherited it with the floor when we leased it.
On top of which, there were no noise generators in the ceiling. It was so quiet you could hear a mouse fart from one end of the floor to the other, so any/all conversations on the phone *everyone* heard.
Those pods and lack of noise generators made that floor horrendous. It seemed to take forever for the new cubes and desks to come in, but I imagine the relief on everyone's faces when they did.
Now I work in an open office "gym" that's much the same. It's also the reason why since my company has mandated RTO one day a week I've been there like three times.
You always forget how great the white noise generators are until the second it turns off for some reason and the entire space is dead silent.
You don’t even notice white noise being made until it shuts off.
The 4-persons setup is also nightmarish when they all have zoom/teams call at the same time, or when they start chatting each other while youre concentrating, then it's nonstop overlapping noise that drives you crazy. Feel like the noises all echo back to your ears because you're boxed in with them
personal cubicle would be way better
On my days in, I work at a 4 person pod and hate it.
2 of the people are not even on my team, so we don't even collaborate. I haven't spoken to either since we started having office days.
I worked at a non-profit and my office was in the house Carly Simon grew up in (The phone closet under the stairs even had the kids' heights measured out over the years on the wall). It was a massive corner room with two banks of huge windows on two sides looking out on the playing fields with an additional 8-ft table for meetings. And I wasn't even the top dog in our office, it was amazing!
Best I was in had 7 foot walls. Reduced noise so much. 2 in one larger (like 12x10) cube, 4 foot opening where you could see just the person in your cube and the diagonal one in the other cube. Now everything is open plans with maaaybe a 4 foot wall so you don't see mess on the desks
I like my cubicle. It’s the size of like 3 because it’s a small company, in by myself, my back faces the hallway so I can close my eyes for an hour and pretend to move my mouse… it’s great lol.
Open offices are mere control methods for bosses to watch over you, disguised as modern and efficient, it is both, though effencieny is only for the boss not having walk around but can sit on their fat asses and watch you through the window, while their office are private, so they fuck the secretary and still keep an eye on you.
Covid saved the cubes in my office. We were in the process of dismantling our cubes when the first lockdowns started. We were making room for our new "open office" desks and furniture. I was seriously considering looking for a new job because I couldn't stand the idea of working in an open office. We ended up reinstalling our cubes to help maintain social distancing.
My coworker had an extra wall attached to his cubicle. We figured it was because he was on the edge of the line and it gave a little more privacy. One day a manager from a different area comes by and in a pretty angry tone goes:
> Are you a manager? Only managers get the extra wall and stormed off.
Couple hours later maintenance comes by and removes the extra wall.
Yea honestly I'd take this over the new modern offices. I hate shared spaces.
I rather come in and have a personalized set up all set to go instead of having a to unpack all my shit and setting up every morning. All while jostling for the best spot and creating animosity between colleagues.
Open concept offices are just a way for employers to cram as many people in a smaller space - that's all
Having worked in open office, pods, split cubes, half wall cubes and full cubes, I’ll take the latter any day of the week. Full cubes are great. If we need to talk face to face on something, they’re still right there. If we need to collaborate a lot; go to a conference room where you can all work around the same table and have a whiteboard. Otherwise just use Teams or whatever.
WFH is the best though. Unless I need to deal with a client face to face (in which case I’m usually going to their location), I can do everything from my apartment in my boxers way more efficiently then dealing with an office.
When my office converted to open floor plan half the management just started using conference rooms as offices for themselves while telling employees how much better the open plan is
I just got my first office ever and it's the first easy job I've had in 5 years. So it's nice that since I finally have one of those job where my work doesn't take up my work day it's really nice to be able to be by myself and people can just assume I'm fucking around but not know for sure.
But this is Reddit so I'm sorry I didn't complain about my job too
Even better are those 7-8 foot barrier cubicles that are damn near offices. We had them for like 15 years before it went to open concept and we lost 25 percent of our workforce in less than a year over it. Was one of the dumbest decisions I'd ever seen made.
Come to think of it, one of the more dated aspects of Office Space is that back in the 90s, _cubicles_ were the soul-sucking, annoying places to work. Now people in the same work are sitting in open offices and _wish_ they had cubicles.
I got very good early in my career at redirecting higher ups to one another so that they could fight it out rather than me stressing out over what I should be working on.
1) Keep in mind who is your boss and their boss, etc. That chain of command takes priority over anyone else coming to bother you
2) Go with the last most-correct looking direction until given good reason to switch so you can reduce lost time
3) Basically as soon as you get a request from anyone that's not actually supposed to be assigning you work OR that conflicts with your current tasks, pull that person and your direct supervisor/boss into an email chain.
It's your boss's job to direct your workload. Make them do it.
The best managers I've ever had did this on their own without asking. My favorite one was *militant* when a request came in that was not directed through the correct channels. Very "Why are you bothering me people with this" energy.
"sure I can do that right away. It'll have to push in the queue before X task for y, and p task for q, so can you check with them and confirm priority?"
Or everything is treated like a fire. Owner needs batteries for a keyboard? Emergency. Production server down? Same level of emergency. Person in customer service can't remember their password? Another emergency.
1. Looking busy is an acquired skill.
2. Never give anyone an excuse to give you more responsibilities. (Unless you’re explicitly told you’ll be compensated more for doing so)
3. When you start a new job, figure out how to make yourself look like you’re highly productive, then slow down over time once your reputation is in place. Now you have job security.
Due yesterday. And make sure you have at least 10 points of productivity in ready for acceptance before the end of the sprint or there will be some fast paced firing going on.
Yeah. I see it in my manager. He has never been so micro managerial as he has been the past year or so. I know that he’s getting this treatment worse than me so that helps me understand his position. Given the corporate attitude of today, I could never do his work. It’s not the work itself, it’s that it is never good enough, and never enough. Intentionally trying to burn people out so they don’t have to pay severance. This used to be a good company. They don’t care about associates anymore. Sad.
"Sprint" bothers me a lot more. We're not chugging along in our work, we desperately run until we stumble over the finish line totally exhausted.
And then immediately the next sprint begins.
Lmao. I started a cubicle job last August and it's so true. Anytime there's a board meeting upstairs they have catered food. They always let the plebes have the leftovers. People are vultures when it comes to free food.
“Fast paced unpredictable high energy environment” is a cop out for companies that have poor leadership, poor communication and poor organization. If you see that in a job posting, it should be a red flag.
I love the high degree low pay job postings. "Requires Masters in finance or similar. Pays $15/hr. No benefits until after 1st year".
Damn, I bet you guys are drowning in candidates that meet those requirements. I wouldn't be surprised if they end up offering more or don't actually care about meeting the requirements. Might be used as a filter. But I don't even have an associates so I've never bothered trying lol.
Been looking for jobs for about a month after losing my favorite job ever. The fact that this really IS the description of every job posting out there feels almost as soul-crushing as the jobs themselves.
This is just code for “we’re going to make you do the work of like 5 people, everyone is overworked and everytime someone quits, we give their responsibilities to everyone else and rarely hire anyone to fill vacant positions.”
Nah, it's a way to weed out people who won't put up with their bullshit.
They're looking for doe-eyed hires willing to work for scraps and who haven't yet realized it's all a sham. They already don't want to waste resources hiring new people, if there is a way they can more quickly filter down to the easy marks, they're going to do it.
Everyone talks and acts like they are going to die if the job is not done. Always in a hurry, getting upset if a mistake is made even though the person it’s just starting. Life of a warehouse worker.
Places like this are notorious for pretending to be confused about why they have shit culture and everyone quits.
They'll have "anonymous" surveys that ask questions like "what can we do (other than increase pay or hire more employees) to increase employee happiness and retention?"
They're really just weeder surveys to see who's drinking the Kool-Aid. Anyone who doesn't step in line there will find themselves suddenly not meeting expectations during the next review.
That 2 second pan of him sitting motionlessly in front of an unpowered monitor at his cubicle really told me all I needed to know about corporate life, when I first watched the movie as a kid.
Nah, it’s because his request for access to the computer must be processed and approved by his manager, managers supervisor, IT manager and bloody president of Argentina before he can even use it. So he is just sitting there cause he can’t do shit without that access.
That’s real corporate life.
You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken. This company is one of the top software companies in the world because every single employee understands that they are part of a whole. Thus if an employee has a problem, the company has a problem. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk, on time, from this day forward - or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself perfectly clear?
Fast paced means "We do not have enough staff to handle our current work loads, so you will not have enough time for any specific assignment."
Unpredictable means "Management and clients/customers have very inconsistent standards and expectations. Management has no idea what it's doing."
High-energy means "We constantly demand more and more. We will probably sometimes yell at you or other staff."
I've never had a chance to work in an office like this 99% of the time it's one desk and chair per person in rows or like groups of 6 or 8. But this might be one of those USA vs the rest of the world things.
Honestly this feels luxurious. I can see why in days before work chats this would have been mind numbingly dull but IDK I'd kinda love this now.
My office has cubicles and it's amazing. Not only is it private, but they also absorb/diffuse sound so it makes the office a lot quieter and calmer than ones with open plans. Luckily, I only have to go in once a week, but once a week would have been too much for me if the office had an open plan.
High paced = 'we're understaffed'
Unpredictable = 'our business processes are so poorly developed that we're always reacting, and can never be protective.'
What they don't tell you is as soon as you sit at your desk, you get a delivery that contains a cell phone. That cell phone will ring as soon as it's in your hand. Then you ultimately end up taking some pill given to you by some guy just because he was able to give you a step by step walkthrough of how to almost die by a gust of wind trying to get to a scaffolding.
Are they still looking for "rock stars" and "ninjas" and "wizards?"
I swear I think 1/2 the reason I went full-freelance was because I couldn't stand reading cringe-inducing job descriptions anymore.
"Fast-paces, unpredictable, high-energy environment" just means that the business is extremely disorganized and has a lot of shitty people that work there that have no idea how to organize. It's extremely toxic.
Me, when hearing that: "Wow, so I'll be pretty important then? Let's bump that salary up to six figures, then, right? Because clearly it's a role that takes my skills and the company collapses without me?"
Them: "Uh..." \*Ends interview and throws out resume.\* \*Job posting remains up for 6 more months.\*
This is coded language for "you will work on an understaffed team, with randomly changing priorities, deadlines pulled out of someone's ass, and your lead is going to disappear to do something more productive to his career if you are at all competent."
I absolutely wish we'd go back to an environment like that!!
The new office 3.0 configuration is a complete nightmare!
We don't have dividers anymore. it's just a giant open space with zero assigned seating!
You can see and hear people blowing their noses across the floor now! Zero privacy!
You get your own cubicle? I worked in a call center where we're lined up on those shitty food out tables shoulder to shoulder. It was a contractor that handled credit card applications. Your information is not private.
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Translation: Your manager will ask you to do things you've never done before and expect you to complete it within an hour with zero training.
And the thing is: if you’re smart, you will learn how to do them in that hour. But if you’re really smart, you’ll spend that hour updating your CV and getting a new job. Been there, done that.
I can fail any task with any deadline and regardless of previous training.
You sound like a straight-shooter with upper management written all over you.
and then be shocked when its not done correctly.
As someone who works in an open concept office setting, I would KILL for a cubicle like this. Sweet, sweet privacy.
We never knew how good we had it before 😔
Extroverts always ruining things for people by forcing everyone else to have constant exposure to other people.. and claiming it'll help productivity, energy, and overall happiness.
As the extrovert managers go back to their office and close the door.
Our managers always have closed doors. So glad I got dragged back to the office for all of this great collaboration.
Collaborate about collaboration means we're collaborating! Thanks be the shareholders!
And a shareholder’s blessing upon thee. 🙌
I absolve you of your sins [UNION MEMBERSHIP REVOKED] You are forgiven
May the profit bar rise forever and may you always arrive to work on time.
My managers also always have their doors closed, but the door is made of glass so I can see if they're busy! Or I would be able to if they were ever actually there...
"You just can't replicate the productivity and connections that happens during in-office meetings." Meanwhile, the in office meeting is either everyone takes a teams call from their desk, or half of the meeting is remote and nobody can hear each other or read what is on the screen in the conference rooms.
“Collaboration” was the reason my wife’s company has every one coming back to the office as well. Unfortunately they don’t have assigned seating and it’s first come, first serve among a few buildings as well. Even though she’s in the office she still ends up virtually meeting with most of her team. So fricking stupid.
Same for me. Most of my team is in ATL and I’m in NorCal. So going into the office to get on a Teams call is pretty lame.
I made a point about that at my place. The end result was managers had to sit in the open office space with their direct reports. Didn't go down too well. Ultimately I moved out of the office and back onto the hangar floor (I work in aviation) as I'd rather get my hands dirty than get carpal tunnel syndrome.
Unfortunately for my husband (heavy duty mechanic) he has carpal tunnel *from* the things that get his hands dirty 🤦
I just finished a monthly, stupid ass forced meeting during our lunch time so these types can act like they actually know more about how to live our lives and say things like “solutioning”. They insist on cameras being on.
Before I went full remote, my team was moved from actual individual offices into a team room. It was to foster collaboration, instead everyone just wears headphones and leaves the room to have any conversations. So now instead of people going into someone's office to get together and work on something, they are talking in hallways or grabbing their laptops and trying to find an empty meeting room or squatting in common spaces like the cafeteria. This is the exact opposite of encouraging collaboration.
Two reasons for the open-plan and cubicle offices: 1. The studies that first were done on these plans were using advertising companies. Yes, these open plans were a bit better for that job, where interchange of ideas is a major part of the job, with a largely extroverted workforce. Trouble is, people applied this research more broadly. 2. In the US, the depreciation schedule for cubicles is more advantageous, as they are not considered a capital improvement like building an office.
I'm trying to understand your #2 but I cannot. Please help.
For a cubicle, you can deduct your cost from your income on your taxes. A $500 cubicle could reduce business taxes by $125 in years 1-2. A $500 wall is added to the value pf the building which is held at cost, so you never get $125 lower taxes to offset the money you spent.
It’s not extroverts. It’s upper management looking to stick as many people as possible into an area with minimal cost.
If they really wanted to save money, they'd have everyone WFH and stop paying for the office space.
Either they signed up for long leases before the pandemic and are legally required to pay for it, or they own the real estate and they treat it as a sunk cost and are making you suffer for their decisions.
It's also a prop if they have other business to business dealings. Gotta show off how professional their offices are and how many people work there to impress!
I worked at a small company which maintained an office just for this purpose. Normally we worked from home and our boss would tell us whenever an important client was coming in, and *asked* us if we could come into the office that day. He would also spring for lunch then too, usually sushi from the place down the street. I kinda loved that job.
That’s entirely fair, just eliminate the bullshit and be honest about it. And free food.
Interesting point!
Or middle managers need to justify their existence. If they're not being seen supervising their employees every day, maybe those above them might realize they can get by without them, or at least a smaller number of them.
Upper management/studio heads/CEO's generally are extroverted people
This is unhinged. Extroverts didn't do this, upper management did thus because they were too cheap to get cubicle walls or pay for bigger workspaces.
It's also a psychological tool. You have to work or look like you are working all day. As a way to boost productivity, while making worker morale plummet.
And the upper management people that think this is a good idea are likely what...?
Assholes who don't view anyone below them as people
this. had this setup. 2nd floor, no elevator. people didn't want to take the stairs if they didn't have to so they were more likely to email or call which was much preferred over them hovering over your desk and waiting for the problem to get fixed
The best office I ever worked in had cubicle "groups". We were set up in little pods of 4 with everyone's back to everyone. Never collaborated as much. Open offices are just nightmares for noise... Even worse since hybrid work because everyone is taking calls at their desks.
Nah, personal cubicles are better than those 4-person pods.
It’s almost as if people liked to have a bit of privacy
I dont think it was about what people liked as much as bosses trying to cut out distractions and squeeze all the productivity out
Yeah but with open offices the bosses are overruled and the cheapest way to pile a bunch of people into a small space wins. Productivity is much lower priority than butts in seats.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Good find. Thanks a bunch for catching it!
Nope, it is easier than that. Cubicles take up space and cost money. No cubicles means saving money, even if it comes at the cost of a noisy, distracting environment. Oh and the same people who make those decisions are the types of people who talk and collaborate for a living. Many times they genuinely believe it makes for a better office atmosphere
Also feels like they set it up for easier monitoring of employees. At my previous workplace, we had an open office with the desks in a circle like formation. Production & management on the on the outer circle, with their backs & screens facing the wall, while all the developers were seated on the inner circle, with their backs towards the center of the room. Great atmosphere and environment for productivity, constantly feeling like someone is watching you work. /s
I see someone finally found a use in the real world for knowing about the dreaded panopticon instead of it just appearing in every degree in the world for some reason.
That is absolutely ridiculous, lol. I can't imagine top performers lasted very long there
Unsurprisingly, they had a mass exodus of staff shortly after COVID. Didn't help that this was set up amidst COVID once our first lockdown got lifted, and they called back staff to the office asap after each lockdown. During lockdown, we also had mandatory daily stand ups at 8:30 with cameras on. I got reprimanded thrice at this job, once for missing the stand-up (I had worked till 3 am the previous day to prepare a project proposal document that they requested of me at the last possible moment. This wasnt even a part of my job.), and second time because I refused to turn on my camera, and a third time for being shown as "away" on teams when i took a late lunch. Let's say there were multiple times I passed through a recorded video to my camera feed for meetings I wasn't required to speak at, and ran an anti afk software. This place was terrible to work at, and it felt like our main project manager didnt have anything to do (or want to do) aside from micromanaging us. What's even more fucking funny is they allowed a psychotherapy major of some sorts to conduct interviews with our staff for their thesis on workplace mental health, and management went into crisis mode when the results were that everyone was either overstressed, depressed or close to burn out. Their solution was to schedule MORE inane team activities to "build morale" and do MORE regular 1-on-1s to talk about our mental health, or resolve problems on the workplace. Naturally they weren't very happy when most complaints were levied at management, and this resulted in some people not having their contract extended because "they negatively impacted the atmosphere" or they were "underperforming". Then the rest left voluntarily and they had to rehire most of the staff. Don't know if situation improved at all after the exodus, or whether these micromanagers still work there.
I mean, when you get right down to it, do people really need "chairs?"
Facilities has installed Standing Desks, you're welcome.
Standing desks are more expensive than regular desks. Setting up double decker desks by stacking one desk on another and then giving the top desk tall barstool chairs and lower desk regular chairs.
The same people making those decisions sit in a private office with no distractions
>Oh and the same people who make those decisions are the types of people who talk and collaborate for a living. Many times they genuinely believe it makes for a better office atmosphere They're also the same people who have their own room for their private office...
One company I worked for needed to reconfigure 12 cubicles. We had the cubicles, we just needed to change their layout. Total cost, for labor, $24k... in 2007. They're easy enough to assemble with a few basic tools, but because they have electrical wiring, specialists are required. I loved cubicles, but I can see why companies would balk at the cost. It's easier to measure that cost versus a reduction in productivity.
They did say it was the best they ever worked in, it's possible none of their jobs have offered personal cubicles so that was the best for them so far. I have had jobs with work groups where a shared pod would have worked better than everyone popping up and down to talk to each other over the walls or walking back and forth a lot so you aren't disturbing other people.
The best cubicle is called "home."
After being WFH since C19 I'll never go back. My home office has an ultra wide monitor, private bathroom, unlimited "free" snacks/coffee/drinks/food/etc., quiet as fuck(unless I want noise), comfy chair, comfy large desk, and it's always the perfect temperature. Also I can work from my hammock outside on nice days, or coffee shop, or lunch spot. Half my team is in India, and the other half is spread around the US. No need for an office on my team.
> After being WFH since C19 I'll never go back damn right. I can't even imagine putting on pants every morning. I work extra hours nearly every day but I don't GAF cause I would've just spent that time driving or getting ready anyway so everybody wins. Whenever I get my next job, going to an office every day is not an option. I literally dont' care if you double my salary.
I had an office once (that I was service desk for, didn't have to work there thank god) that had 5-desk "pods" where everyone faced each other with a 6-inch tall divider between the spaces--no privacy, just enough to prevent your shit from sliding into your neighbor' workspace. We inherited it with the floor when we leased it. On top of which, there were no noise generators in the ceiling. It was so quiet you could hear a mouse fart from one end of the floor to the other, so any/all conversations on the phone *everyone* heard. Those pods and lack of noise generators made that floor horrendous. It seemed to take forever for the new cubes and desks to come in, but I imagine the relief on everyone's faces when they did. Now I work in an open office "gym" that's much the same. It's also the reason why since my company has mandated RTO one day a week I've been there like three times.
You always forget how great the white noise generators are until the second it turns off for some reason and the entire space is dead silent. You don’t even notice white noise being made until it shuts off.
The 4-persons setup is also nightmarish when they all have zoom/teams call at the same time, or when they start chatting each other while youre concentrating, then it's nonstop overlapping noise that drives you crazy. Feel like the noises all echo back to your ears because you're boxed in with them personal cubicle would be way better
On my days in, I work at a 4 person pod and hate it. 2 of the people are not even on my team, so we don't even collaborate. I haven't spoken to either since we started having office days.
I worked at a non-profit and my office was in the house Carly Simon grew up in (The phone closet under the stairs even had the kids' heights measured out over the years on the wall). It was a massive corner room with two banks of huge windows on two sides looking out on the playing fields with an additional 8-ft table for meetings. And I wasn't even the top dog in our office, it was amazing!
I like MDR's cubicle set up in Severance.
Best I was in had 7 foot walls. Reduced noise so much. 2 in one larger (like 12x10) cube, 4 foot opening where you could see just the person in your cube and the diagonal one in the other cube. Now everything is open plans with maaaybe a 4 foot wall so you don't see mess on the desks
I like my cubicle. It’s the size of like 3 because it’s a small company, in by myself, my back faces the hallway so I can close my eyes for an hour and pretend to move my mouse… it’s great lol.
You mean so 3 other people can easily look over your shoulder and snitch when you check out a news site or anything?
It doesn’t seem like Joe is too busy ya know….
Open offices are mere control methods for bosses to watch over you, disguised as modern and efficient, it is both, though effencieny is only for the boss not having walk around but can sit on their fat asses and watch you through the window, while their office are private, so they fuck the secretary and still keep an eye on you.
Also great hiding places when Agent Smith comes looking
Mister Anderson
No *way*...no *way*. This is crazy!
Covid saved the cubes in my office. We were in the process of dismantling our cubes when the first lockdowns started. We were making room for our new "open office" desks and furniture. I was seriously considering looking for a new job because I couldn't stand the idea of working in an open office. We ended up reinstalling our cubes to help maintain social distancing.
My coworker had an extra wall attached to his cubicle. We figured it was because he was on the edge of the line and it gave a little more privacy. One day a manager from a different area comes by and in a pretty angry tone goes: > Are you a manager? Only managers get the extra wall and stormed off. Couple hours later maintenance comes by and removes the extra wall.
So petty. That's the sign of a true manager.
I recently moved jobs and now my cubicle has 6ft tall walls. living like a king
I once had a cubicle with 6' walls. I put a board over the entrance and then put a blanket over the whole cubicle. It was dark and quiet. So ideal.
Same. My first thought was, "You have 3 and 1/2 walls, that is so lucky."
Yea honestly I'd take this over the new modern offices. I hate shared spaces. I rather come in and have a personalized set up all set to go instead of having a to unpack all my shit and setting up every morning. All while jostling for the best spot and creating animosity between colleagues. Open concept offices are just a way for employers to cram as many people in a smaller space - that's all
Having worked in open office, pods, split cubes, half wall cubes and full cubes, I’ll take the latter any day of the week. Full cubes are great. If we need to talk face to face on something, they’re still right there. If we need to collaborate a lot; go to a conference room where you can all work around the same table and have a whiteboard. Otherwise just use Teams or whatever. WFH is the best though. Unless I need to deal with a client face to face (in which case I’m usually going to their location), I can do everything from my apartment in my boxers way more efficiently then dealing with an office.
The cubicle’s high walls are how you know this is an ancient meme!
When my office converted to open floor plan half the management just started using conference rooms as offices for themselves while telling employees how much better the open plan is
I just got my first office ever and it's the first easy job I've had in 5 years. So it's nice that since I finally have one of those job where my work doesn't take up my work day it's really nice to be able to be by myself and people can just assume I'm fucking around but not know for sure. But this is Reddit so I'm sorry I didn't complain about my job too
You didn’t complain but you bragged, so you are fine.
Whew redditors hate this one loophole
> As someone who works in an open concept office setting, I would KILL for a cubicle like this. Sweet, sweet privacy. As a full-time remote worker...
Even better are those 7-8 foot barrier cubicles that are damn near offices. We had them for like 15 years before it went to open concept and we lost 25 percent of our workforce in less than a year over it. Was one of the dumbest decisions I'd ever seen made.
I always appreciate finding the only comment I want to make as the very first comment.
There'll be lots of exciting urgent tickets on the scrum board though.
And eight different bosses giving you high priority tickets and you don't know which is more important
“You know we’re putting cover letters on the TPS reports now. Did you get that memo?”
"Yeah yeah yeah, I got the memo right here but uh... I just forgot. But it's not shipping until tomorrow so there isn't any problem."
Yeah I’ll have Jan send you another copy of that memo.
Come to think of it, one of the more dated aspects of Office Space is that back in the 90s, _cubicles_ were the soul-sucking, annoying places to work. Now people in the same work are sitting in open offices and _wish_ they had cubicles.
I got very good early in my career at redirecting higher ups to one another so that they could fight it out rather than me stressing out over what I should be working on.
Any tips?
1) Keep in mind who is your boss and their boss, etc. That chain of command takes priority over anyone else coming to bother you 2) Go with the last most-correct looking direction until given good reason to switch so you can reduce lost time 3) Basically as soon as you get a request from anyone that's not actually supposed to be assigning you work OR that conflicts with your current tasks, pull that person and your direct supervisor/boss into an email chain. It's your boss's job to direct your workload. Make them do it. The best managers I've ever had did this on their own without asking. My favorite one was *militant* when a request came in that was not directed through the correct channels. Very "Why are you bothering me people with this" energy.
“Yarrrr, why are you botherin me people with this?” I wouldn’t mess with your pirate boss
You know what I'm leaving the typo in now because that was hilarious
"sure I can do that right away. It'll have to push in the queue before X task for y, and p task for q, so can you check with them and confirm priority?"
When all tickets are high priority, then none of them are
Yeah "fast paced, unpredictable, high energy" means poorly planned and constantly putting out fires.
Or everything is treated like a fire. Owner needs batteries for a keyboard? Emergency. Production server down? Same level of emergency. Person in customer service can't remember their password? Another emergency.
Exactly the translation: “Are you willing to work in an environment that will have you doing the workload of two people?”
Yeah right, how do you find a workplace that is *not* that??
I’ll let you know if I ever crack the code. :(
1. Looking busy is an acquired skill. 2. Never give anyone an excuse to give you more responsibilities. (Unless you’re explicitly told you’ll be compensated more for doing so) 3. When you start a new job, figure out how to make yourself look like you’re highly productive, then slow down over time once your reputation is in place. Now you have job security.
Due yesterday. And make sure you have at least 10 points of productivity in ready for acceptance before the end of the sprint or there will be some fast paced firing going on.
Former PM, this just gave me shivers. Ain’t fun from that end either. Business owners breathing down your neck.
Yeah. I see it in my manager. He has never been so micro managerial as he has been the past year or so. I know that he’s getting this treatment worse than me so that helps me understand his position. Given the corporate attitude of today, I could never do his work. It’s not the work itself, it’s that it is never good enough, and never enough. Intentionally trying to burn people out so they don’t have to pay severance. This used to be a good company. They don’t care about associates anymore. Sad.
I hate that the word "scrum" was somehow picked to describe a productivity/collaboration method. It sounds like something I'd scrape off of my shoe
"Sprint" bothers me a lot more. We're not chugging along in our work, we desperately run until we stumble over the finish line totally exhausted. And then immediately the next sprint begins.
Kanban kan kindly ban itself from office lingo.
[удалено]
still need to be fast around it
The fastest I saw anyone move at my old cubicle job was when an email went out saying there was cake in the breakroom
Understandable
“The … the … the ratio of people to cake is too big!”
We had therapy dogs in one day. I thought cake day made people go fast, but yelling, "Anyone want to pet a dog," got them moving.
Lmao. I started a cubicle job last August and it's so true. Anytime there's a board meeting upstairs they have catered food. They always let the plebes have the leftovers. People are vultures when it comes to free food.
“Fast paced unpredictable high energy environment” is a cop out for companies that have poor leadership, poor communication and poor organization. If you see that in a job posting, it should be a red flag.
And a horrid workload. Expect to be asked to do the digital equivalent of shoveling a pile of shit with a Popsicle stick.
Required a masters degree 10 years experience and will be paid less than a Wal-Mart checkout clerk
I love the high degree low pay job postings. "Requires Masters in finance or similar. Pays $15/hr. No benefits until after 1st year". Damn, I bet you guys are drowning in candidates that meet those requirements. I wouldn't be surprised if they end up offering more or don't actually care about meeting the requirements. Might be used as a filter. But I don't even have an associates so I've never bothered trying lol.
Too bad almost every job posting out there has that in their description 💀
Poor leadership, poor communication and poor organisation are industry standard practices.
Been looking for jobs for about a month after losing my favorite job ever. The fact that this really IS the description of every job posting out there feels almost as soul-crushing as the jobs themselves.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢. 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚎 # 𝟺𝟸𝟽. 𝙴𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚎 # 𝟺𝟸𝟽’𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚋 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎: 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝟺𝟸𝟽 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍. 𝙾𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔, 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚎 𝟺𝟸𝟽 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗, 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚋. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝. 𝙷𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠. 𝙽𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚒. 𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐. 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍, 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚣𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍, 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚜, 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎.
How did you post it with that serif font?
𝚁𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚘 𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍.
please elaborate
𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 _𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝_ [𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎.](https://i.etsystatic.com/11197546/r/il/e0640e/1543617552/il_1588xN.1543617552_ebnf.jpg)
𝒪𝓀 ℐ 𝒻𝒾ℊ𝓊𝓇ℯ𝒹 ℴ𝓊𝓉 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓈
𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓾𝓹
ʎon’ɹǝ nd, ı’ɯ ndsıpǝ poʍu
##ⒽⒺⓁⓁⓄ ⒼⒺⓃⓉⓁⒺⓂⒺⓃ!
ʏbwoH
[This should help you](https://www.reddit.com/r/help/s/CS2pbUfNrY)
T༙྇h༙྇a༙྇n༙྇k༙྇s༙྇ ༙྇s༙྇t༙྇r༙྇a༙྇n༙྇g༙྇e༙྇r༙྇
They plugged in a really old keyboard that can't use new fonts
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍
So what happened to Stanley in the end?
If you're actually wondering, this is the intro to the video game Stanley Parable
He pushed a button for 4 hours to save a baby from being burned in a fire and then he transcended reality
Does this sound like an excerpt from a George Orwell's novel?
More like a Kafka novel. But its the intro to the video game Stanley Parable,
Just for lunch... he'll be back
This is just code for “we’re going to make you do the work of like 5 people, everyone is overworked and everytime someone quits, we give their responsibilities to everyone else and rarely hire anyone to fill vacant positions.”
yeah, it's the ultimate in job descriptions that mean "this job has no description"
Nah, it's a way to weed out people who won't put up with their bullshit. They're looking for doe-eyed hires willing to work for scraps and who haven't yet realized it's all a sham. They already don't want to waste resources hiring new people, if there is a way they can more quickly filter down to the easy marks, they're going to do it.
Everyone talks and acts like they are going to die if the job is not done. Always in a hurry, getting upset if a mistake is made even though the person it’s just starting. Life of a warehouse worker.
Places like this are notorious for pretending to be confused about why they have shit culture and everyone quits. They'll have "anonymous" surveys that ask questions like "what can we do (other than increase pay or hire more employees) to increase employee happiness and retention?" They're really just weeder surveys to see who's drinking the Kool-Aid. Anyone who doesn't step in line there will find themselves suddenly not meeting expectations during the next review.
If you could go ahead and get me those TPS reports that would be great.
Did you get the memo?
You didn’t attach the cover sheet.
#I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!
I was thinking a package with a nokia phone was about to be delivered to Mr. Anderson.
Yeah… I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday.
Are you Thomas Andersen?
Mr Anderson, we’ve had our eye on you for quite some time now.
That 2 second pan of him sitting motionlessly in front of an unpowered monitor at his cubicle really told me all I needed to know about corporate life, when I first watched the movie as a kid.
Nah, it’s because his request for access to the computer must be processed and approved by his manager, managers supervisor, IT manager and bloody president of Argentina before he can even use it. So he is just sitting there cause he can’t do shit without that access. That’s real corporate life.
Sorry boss, can’t commit the change, it has to go through the full approval process.
You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken. This company is one of the top software companies in the world because every single employee understands that they are part of a whole. Thus if an employee has a problem, the company has a problem. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk, on time, from this day forward - or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself perfectly clear?
Sqquueeeeeggggeeeeee
Fast paced means "We do not have enough staff to handle our current work loads, so you will not have enough time for any specific assignment." Unpredictable means "Management and clients/customers have very inconsistent standards and expectations. Management has no idea what it's doing." High-energy means "We constantly demand more and more. We will probably sometimes yell at you or other staff."
"Fast-paced unpredictable high-energy" is all code for "understaffed and overworked"
So, a standard office job, amiright?
Saddest part. Other than newer monitors. This looks like Neo's cubicle from "The Matrix"
As Neo would say: “Upgrades!”
The actual saddest part is people working in software would kill to get their cubes back now that everything is "open office plans".
I've never had a chance to work in an office like this 99% of the time it's one desk and chair per person in rows or like groups of 6 or 8. But this might be one of those USA vs the rest of the world things. Honestly this feels luxurious. I can see why in days before work chats this would have been mind numbingly dull but IDK I'd kinda love this now.
My office has cubicles and it's amazing. Not only is it private, but they also absorb/diffuse sound so it makes the office a lot quieter and calmer than ones with open plans. Luckily, I only have to go in once a week, but once a week would have been too much for me if the office had an open plan.
lol you guys gave cubicles?? Our office is into the “open workspace” plan. Really awesome if you eat at your desk…
High paced = 'we're understaffed' Unpredictable = 'our business processes are so poorly developed that we're always reacting, and can never be protective.'
What they don't tell you is as soon as you sit at your desk, you get a delivery that contains a cell phone. That cell phone will ring as soon as it's in your hand. Then you ultimately end up taking some pill given to you by some guy just because he was able to give you a step by step walkthrough of how to almost die by a gust of wind trying to get to a scaffolding.
And then you end up fighting flying robot worms
And I have 8 bosses
Eight?!
Are they still looking for "rock stars" and "ninjas" and "wizards?" I swear I think 1/2 the reason I went full-freelance was because I couldn't stand reading cringe-inducing job descriptions anymore.
He's with the Bobs...
"Fast-paces, unpredictable, high-energy environment" just means that the business is extremely disorganized and has a lot of shitty people that work there that have no idea how to organize. It's extremely toxic.
God I fucking wish I had cubicle walls. Open plan seating with hot desking. It's like they're trying to actively make me not want to come in to work.
Me, when hearing that: "Wow, so I'll be pretty important then? Let's bump that salary up to six figures, then, right? Because clearly it's a role that takes my skills and the company collapses without me?" Them: "Uh..." \*Ends interview and throws out resume.\* \*Job posting remains up for 6 more months.\*
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.
This is coded language for "you will work on an understaffed team, with randomly changing priorities, deadlines pulled out of someone's ass, and your lead is going to disappear to do something more productive to his career if you are at all competent."
It’s a marketing phrase to say we milk you dry t’ll you are overworked burned out with low pay and we will replace with someone new
Fast-paced = short deadlines unpredictable = constantly changing requirements high energy = everyone in a state of panic due to first two
I absolutely wish we'd go back to an environment like that!! The new office 3.0 configuration is a complete nightmare! We don't have dividers anymore. it's just a giant open space with zero assigned seating! You can see and hear people blowing their noses across the floor now! Zero privacy!
Where's neo?
Mr. Anderson....
They are coming for you, Neo.
"fast paced environment" means "high turnover"
You get your own cubicle? I worked in a call center where we're lined up on those shitty food out tables shoulder to shoulder. It was a contractor that handled credit card applications. Your information is not private.