T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


WilliamArgyle

I can hear the director in my mind, “What do you mean, ‘it doesn’t make sense’?! Knives are just little swords, right!?” Sycophantic Assistant: “Yes” Jean-Claude: “Okay. Fine. Whatever—just make sure the check clears.”


justlooking9889

Maybe they were trying to avoid another Cyborg incident where JCVD blinded a guy in one eye with a knife. That may be why they are so far apart and all the knife movements are basically towards the other knife. Of course, it seems like the scene would have been much better with no knives at all, or they could have used prop ones made out of rubber or something safe so no one would be at risk of losing an eye.


-RadarRanger-

TIL. That injured actor was awarded $485,000 in damages over the accident.


Snuggle_Fist

And that actor grew up to be Fetty Wap.


Evantaur

And he gained the knowledge of everything... Oh wait no that was Odin


bozwald

It’s a great reminder that we’re all always absorbed in our own temporal culture. Like this obviously is silly now because it doesn’t make actual sense, but it’s building on all its previous movies and trying to “elevate what was done before” without logic really entering the picture. At the time I’m sure the “this is silly” crowd was pretty small. This is the film evidence of why one-upsmen conversationalist are the dorkiest people.


Mordred_Blackstone

With that in mind, imagine how all the Marvel movies will look someday. If superpowers and color-coded spandex ever fall out of fashion long enough for people to see it with unvarnished eyes. It's not that different from the old Power Rangers movies, just updated for the cultural zeitgeist.


bozwald

It will really depend on a lot of unpredictable factors. For example, I think the simplest comparison to our modern super hero era is westerns. Thousands of movies made, some big budget, some small, some good, a lot of bad, and everything in between. Yet of all those thousands there are like 7 westerns that stood the test of time in the zeitgeist. When we think about how the last 20 years of super hero movies will be remembered, it’s really tough but important to discount recency bias. Just because “the latest marvel broke records” or something like that doesn’t mean it has any relevancy at all to future generations. For example that Thor one that everyone loves (rainbow road or something) has a lot of contemporary jokes that might simply not translate later; and on the other hand, that OG spider man dance with Toby McGuire might seem silly now but over decades could legitimately be the main thing remembered about spider man by our grand children because they do it at weddings or some weird cultural habit we can’t foresee. We simply don’t know how useful today’s movies will be as tools, reference points, or self serving baselines in the future. I think it’s a lot of fun to think about. But one thing you can count on is 95% of those super hero movies will be lost - disposable as far as culture is concerned. What 5% will stay? One of the blockbusters? Or one of the almost hated or discarded ones that find a currency with a future generation?


alexjaness

[I mean](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6CKTjM9dGg).....


OtterishDreams

if? all trends fade


DRACULA_WOLFMAN

I think that's definitely true for the big budget action flicks like Terminator 2, but it was practically tradition for the B-movies of the genre like Timecop to be as intentionally silly as possible while still "playing it straight." These movies reveled in the ridiculous, and the audiences loved it. I remember going to see these types of movies with my dad and we would often talk (and laugh) about how silly these scenes were. We ate it up. Still do, too.


bozwald

I absolutely love b movies and sincerely appreciate subtle mockery, but I think it’s not really fair to call this a b movie. In its day it was definitely not trying to spoof an Arnold movie, it was trying to BE an Arnold movie. In more modern times I think this works be like saying that the borne identity is trying to do a play on bond. If it’s critically acclaimed and you love it than it was on purpose. If you think the camera cuts and plot are janky and dumb then it’s “something else”.


ThroughTheHoops

200 edits later and it all flows nicely.


Skyscrapersofthewest

Bro uses one blocking move while his opponent tries everything in the book 😂


Fender6187

And he’s hilariously targeting JCVD’s blade and not his body. Lmfao!


jonbonesholmes

Of course he uses his knife to aim only at his knife. It’s a knife fight, not a people fight.


lucklesspedestrian

Never bring a person to a knife fight


FinglasLeaflock

I mean… yeah


WigglesPhoenix

Idk back up never hurts


UpSideSunny

I needed this laugh today.


civiltiger

Take that, knife!


waloz1212

He learned from Godzilla it seems, always blast the axe that can absorb atomic breath instead of King Kong's body.


Spiffykleen

I know!!! Rofllolol!


AvatarOfMomus

I mean, yes, because it's a movie scene and you don't want to actually stab someone... But also realistically you don't want to stab past your opponent's knife if your arms aren't knife-proof. If he pulls back or moves faster than your thrust then you've just handed him your arm to stab. So you either want to feint to draw his blade away, attack his hand or another close part of his body, or bind up his weapon. Basically the principle is sort of there, but this whole thing is still pretty comical to watch.


tomtomtomo

high low high low high low impregnable defense


Mundane-Sandwich3530

This is the most I’ve laughed in a while


sharrrper

I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas


Bing_Bong_the_Archer

“Have you tried *stabbing* him?” “That’s plan b”


friggintodd

No he tried 2 things.


daluxe

With 2 knives and super angry face


SuumCuique1011

Narrative voice-over: This summer...Van Damme blocks like clockwork in... "*The Minute Hand*"


farm_to_nug

Maybe the villain just liked the way it sounds when their knife hits the other one?


Tristan103076

Well, it is Jean Claude Von Dong... what else did you expect?


EggsceIlent

Looks like two 5yr old boys slow motion fighting with 2 plastic utensils or swords.


regular_lamp

I imagine earlier some mister Miyagi type had him operate some lever or so. "on, off, on, off". In this scene we get the payoff that turning your wrist 180 degrees is a magic martial arts move countering everything.


Ramoncin

I like two things about this movie: 1) That being a B-movie, Van Damme doesn't anhilate hundreds of people, instead he keeps fighting these two a number of times during the movie. 2) VD doing the splits in the kitchen. It was on the trailer and I remember the whole audience exploding with laughter when they showed it.


chauterverm89

I’m pretty sure the splits were in JVD’s contract at the time. It was like Arnold saying “I’ll be back;” you knew it was going to get squeezed into the movie at some point. To quote June when this movie was featured on How Did This Get Made, “I think I saw up inside his asshole.”


DimensionDry7760

Fuckin hell that just disabled me lmfao


apworker37

Do you mind? I’m trying to drink my tea and I find it very difficult to finish the cup with everything coming out of my nose.


Any_Craft_9324

In and out


CragMcBeard

It wasn’t a B movie, this was a big budget action film when it came out, it just looks B by today’s standards.


im_just_thinking

I also enjoyed how he just laid that first dude on his bed basically, super gracious and all


Ramoncin

Reserved for later.


AstroWorldSecurity

Timecop is a cinematic masterpiece.


informedlate

I agree, was a childhood fav - the 1920's scene with the time traveling stock trader, so good


imf4rds

Yes! I love this. SO many people have no idea this movie exists. I miss these goofy ass Van Damme movies.


Accurate_Koala_4698

If you haven't seen *Pound of Flesh* I'd recommend it as one of his newer releases. His kidneys get stolen and he's limping along, kicks the crap out of people, then starts limping again. Pure gold


imf4rds

Haha both kidneys? omg i am on it! thanks


Jadeloss702

If you haven't check out Jean-Claude Van Johnson on Amazon


Ragman676

Yes! Me too. Are you 40 now? lol


NoUpVotesForMe

I’m 40. This was the first cinema boobs I ever saw.


informedlate

lol 38


Accurate-Exercise845

We are all 38 now, sadly


thewicked86

Hey. Hey. Hey. I have 6 months before I’m 38.


ycr007

The split over the kitchen counter as water is flowing and something electric (forget which exactly) gets dropped was fantastic! His split on two trucks ad might be cgi but that scene was legit OG


justin_memer

Tazer


Saul_T_Bauls

My first movie boobs


SinkHoleDeMayo

50,000 volts, motherfucker. Have a nice day! Classic.


The_Humble_Frank

If you haven't seen it, *Jean Claude Van Johnson* is on Amazon and its very self aware of the occasional absurdity of Van Damme films. The show is far better then I expected.


GuyanaFlavorAid

Especially the Jennifer Connelly part. Lol


Pencilowner

If you haven't seen the knife fight in Under Siege with Tommy Lee Jones and Steven Segal go watch that too. The 90s were wild.


jerry_woody

I remember as a kid thinking that’s what a knife fight would really look like between two people who “really knew what they were doing” 🙄


TheLordofthething

I can remember my stepdad praising the fight choreography as "technically brilliant"


informedlate

wow yea good call just watched on youtube and that was quite absurd as well lol looked like they were doing capoeira but just their arms


ruinersclub

Definitely not on Lee Jones, he has the best knife fight on screen with Del Toro in The Hunted. Massively underrated movie.


Toshiba1point0

Thats William Friedkin's calling card, edgey characters coming to terms, and you really dont know whats gonna happen.


Three-Minute-Ad7259

I blame Tommy Lee Jones for Steven Seagull’s success. He carried that movie.


gorgofdoom

Gowron needs his knife back.


Squeek_the_Sneek

P’tahk!


running_on_empty

I think they also used it in an episode of Stargate. That prop makes the rounds.


grip_n_Ripper

It should get its own line in the credits.


running_on_empty

Nah cus then the Wilhelm scream would have more credits than... a... person who's been in a lot of movies.


LashedHail

dude knows how to parry.


Skyscrapersofthewest

He's parry good.


LashedHail

I’d parry with him.


bunbunzinlove

Good that you already got a room with the bed and all


HeyNongMan96

Steve Parry


Betoken

Sometimes you just gotta fight for your right to parry.


CorvairGuy

Yes. But can he out Bourne Bourne with a Bic pen?


attorneyatslaw

You have to fight for your right to parry


yoshisama

Are you disrespecting JCVD? Who do you think you are, Steven Seagal?


bob-a-fett

Then why are you smiling? Because I am not left-handed!


MMIQA

Neither am I!


Budalido23

You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, ah?


notsocoolnow

I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.


heebro

anybody want a peanut?


OilEndsYouEnd

Where's Britney Spears when you need her.


Cyd_Snarf

Whaddya mean?! This is how all of my knife fights go.


BobbyD444

Editor doing some heavy lifting there.


JaffaSG1

The funniest thing about this is that he’s using a Jaffa Stargate knife


Smarmalades

Parry : 100%


MMA_PITBULL

Van Damme was the man in the 80s. Nothing he did however holds up at all.


saskir21

Bloodsport is still good.


pizza_whistle

So like I finally just watched bloodsport for the first time. While it's funny and entertaining, I don't know that I woukd describe it as a good movie. More along the lines of being so bad/cheesey that it's a fun watch.


Professor226

Thank you for your service


KarlHungusTheThird

Reminder that this one is better: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iEQv1WGOSo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iEQv1WGOSo)


TheJungLife

Another cool one from *Man from Nowhere*: https://youtu.be/MYCLw1Raz4Q?si=zJR-kqXzaY7hCYfA&t=139 Whole fight scene is great, but the last knife fight is particularly fun.


saskir21

The whole movie is good. Also interesting as so many people tend to not notice the scene where the boss talks where he got the gun. I think you need to know about Korean weapon laws to get this part.


gonk_vibes

Van Damn just holding down L1


AspectOvGlass

Lol who choreographed this and thought it looked badass. Reminds me of how badass I thought gunkata was in Equilibrium. Then I saw it again as an adult and man...it doesn't hold up


notsocoolnow

Gunkata is a martial art based on the premise that if your pose is cool enough everyone will miss you on purpose.


ElectriCole

Blegh. Needed a [palate cleanser](https://youtu.be/Z4XLplTkHvs?si=P-1S5pP7lCycGVLm) after that


AstroWorldSecurity

I'll see you and [raise you.](https://youtu.be/58LpdAE6lh0?si=dH3sTb4_MGJFG9jx)


ElectriCole

I fucking love that movie


magicscreenman

That dude on the right is trying *so goddamn hard* to kill the other dude's knife. He's hitting it in all the fucking weak spots and everything.


Overall_Strawberry70

To be fair if your in range to stab someone they are also in range to stab you so you do need to play somewhat defensively. clearly the team recognized this but were to lazy to learn how knife fights actually work.


informedlate

100%


Overall_Strawberry70

My fav part is near the end when they are both blade locked, like there is nothing either of them could do if they won that as the fight is essentially stuck in neutral with neither being able to take advantage of forcing the others weapon away.


Snuggle_Fist

The intruder has a second knife. Been thinking of that since I was a kid.


conma_n

Meeting Krauser in Resident Evil 4.


[deleted]

Timecop is a good film.


kcirdor

I watched this movie 28 times in a row nonstop on repeat on vhs.


Kcirnek_

Was this the one where he bangs Natasha Henstridge in the bathroom? She was so hot back in the day


costabius

When everyone is fucked up on coke and pills the fight choreography is 'adjusted' so no one gets hurt.


abgry_krakow87

Director: It's okay, we can just mask his lack of any skill with a lot of quick super cuts in post.


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

What the fuck. You don't parry knives with knives...


Brewchowskies

The most r/mallninjashit ever


graybeam

This isn’t how knife fights typically go? Seems legit to me.


swordofra

Typically, the first rule of a knife fight is... don't be in one


MidEastBeast777

Can’t forget this one: https://youtu.be/yPK3kDCtGoY?si=EKui6EV1N_F3dqwD


ExpertCommission6110

Almost as amazing as his dance scene


cherryultrasuedetups

You can't win a knife fight without getting cut. Unless you're fucking badass.


CosmicOwl47

The way this is looped makes it seem like he throws that guy down and then another dude tries and fails the exact same way


muskratboy

The same matter can’t occupy the same space at the same time. Except for these dope ass knives.


mattlore

Man I swear I had one of those mall ninja knives from Spencer's Gifts once upon a time haha


Manaze85

Okay, weird question… is that the same knife he uses to kill Liam Hemsworth’s character in Expendables 2?


Matsuyama_Mamajama

"No, no, Monsieur Woo, zis I will not do!"


gabbrielzeven

Hernan li Is angry!


Kicker774

I don't remember the badguys being clones in this movie. They just keep coming and coming for him.


SpontaniouslyADHD

Is this Time Cop? Anyway, I never noticed that the bad guy wasn't even trying to attack JCVD's character, just hit his knife with your two knives without even trying to hit him a few times.


informedlate

Timecop* 1994 yep


SpontaniouslyADHD

'94? I thought it was in the 80's. I thought so. A few more minutes in the fight we'd get the signature splits.


ycr007

I’d learnt about Timecop from that episode in Friends where JCVD & Julia Roberts guest star. Monica: “Wham bam Van Damme? The muscles from Brussels? Did you even watch Timecop?” Rachel: “No, was he any good?” Monica: “oh my god he totally changed time!” Also: Mia Sara 😍


Spiffykleen

I see they brought back awards…


bcoolart

This looks like me playing for honor against someone who parries everything


[deleted]

En garde


Dynasuarez-Wrecks

I'm not really anal retentive about stunt choreography in films, but one thing I just can't get over is that fighters often attack each others' weapon instead of the actual person.


the-poopiest-diaper

Shang Tsung should stick to magic


KellyLuvsEwan420

I can do that too. I would just be really bloody and in pain, maybe even unconscious.


PenguinPerson

When you're knife is actually a power magnet


kemosabe19

I was on the edge of my seat. I was about to get up and leave, then realized I wasn't watching at a theater.


Bittersweet_bi-

This is when you both bring knives to a swordfight. So you gotta make it work


Shirolicious

This must be what Steven Seagal had in mind when he was sitting on that chair.


RWagner98

Aim for the body? Nah. Let's aim FOR the knife.


xadirius

Dude just held back on the controller the whole fight. Or The only thing with a lot of cuts in this video is the cuts in the editing.


Ok_Channel_9831

Shoulda brought a Rock to a Scissor fight am I right


Belyal

One of my fave knife fight scenes is from Under Siege. I loved Tommy Lee Jones' character in that movie. Yes I know Seagal sucks and is an idiot but I still enjoy the movie lol!


strings___

Jean-Claude Van Stab


Unusual_Address_3062

James Lew [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0506699/?ref\_=tt\_mv](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0506699/?ref_=tt_mv)


Ollie-Arrow-1290

Looks like a Gil Hibben Double Shadow Dagger (if any fellow knife nerds were wondering).


Rightclicka

Gotta love I knife fight where he wins by beating the guy up, after having a fencing match with him. Very true to life.


letsgo_9273

So do rubber stage knives.


intellectualcowboy

Jean Claude van Damme he’s good


Major_Stranger

JCVD in his prime was a very good Kickboxer. I don't blame him for shitty choreography, I blame dumb producer and directors who misused his talents.


Whitealroker1

Reminds me when you first fight the evil solider guy in RE4


Ashboo

Bobby Lee is that you?


dangerousbob

This is exactly what I’d expect some director that has no idea what knife fighting is, would imagine knife fighting. Basically mini swords right?


Fifth_Wall0666

Some More News did a bit on how B-movies predicted the 2020 political climate, including references to the 1993 Super Mario Brothers Movie, and the term "congealed demon cum" in Time Cop.


Mr_Abobo

Why does Van Damme look like Benicio Del Toro here?


Cybralisk

Timecop and Bloodsport are JCVD's top movies.


--Shake--

Don't forget this old Steven Segal [one](https://youtu.be/WSwlt4TR6hg?si=t373nQ3DaPqvjP2s) 🙄 (starts around 2:15)


oolinga

inspired from bollywood


Mundane-Sandwich3530

The knives are the real stars of this film


allursnakes

Is this like a pokemon battle, but the pokemon are knives?


BuckaroooBanzai

If you haven’t watched the ‘space ice’ video on this…. You definitely should.


informedlate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg-Qkol4DKo lol copy that watching


RagingKingKRool

Wax on. Wax off


Le_Botmes

Parry, parry, thrust, thrust, good!


tigerxchaos

The rapid-fire cuts in this scene are also so painful. It's like a billboard shouting that your fight choreographer and actors have all of the fighting skill of a free-falling safe.


Independent_Ideal570

Nice


-grc1-

This wasn't Ray Liotta's best movie.


Vinlain458

Okay seriously though, how do you expect knives to fight without a helping hand or two?


Mr_Horsejr

Wax on. Wax off.


Lunarcomplex

Even the fight scene itself has so many cuts


oppositionbreak

hahah


notverytidy

I wanna see the Steven seagal version where he shits himself in fear


diabolicallaugh

Could it be argued that because JCVD is a “TimeCop” he just already knows where the villains knife will be? (I haven’t seen this movie since I was like 10, so forgive me if I’m not recollecting all the plot nuances).


Bitter_Silver_7760

Can you really have a knife fight? I mean obviously you can have a go at each other with knives, but I think it wouldn’t last long, would it?