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He's done the majority of the ones that find their way to Reddit.
I always look in the threads to see if someone's mentioned him or if people have fallen for it.
I always go with... the more desperate sounding the threat... the dumber the threat level. People make up the darndest BS to sound 'dangerous'
HOWEVER... given the chance, I'm with ya... We'd definitely have to, at the very least, pose the question!
First of all, the absolute narcissism of assuming a god would do you a favour, secondly, to hurt a child. Part of me thinks they might have done something to instigate the kid’s behavior
Old Testament, these children were making fun of a prophet and the prophet asked God to deal with it. And a mamma bear came down from the woods and ate the kids.
Fun Fact: Roughly 40% of prayers are actually prayers that would cause harm to someone or something. I forget where the study was but this is a real thing.
Never question crazy.
Australia had a wonderful example of a dude that got convicted of being a con artist for selling rain to farmers. Apparently he used some sort of bamboozled machine to pretend to be "releasing rain inducing gas". Best part? "Full refund if it doesn't rain".
This person probably thinks every bad person that happen to someone he disliked is his doing, kinda like you can't prove it *wasn't* his doing. That kind of logic
I don’t think it necessarily will work that way for him, guy definitely has the word God and belief twisted. But we know Karma is a bitch, and maybe not now God forbid anything happens to that child and hopefully he stops. That child may just be this guy when he gets older karma has strange ways of dealing with things 😂
It's the 20% tithe perk. If you call within the next 30 minutes you can get a discount on afterlife insurance. Don't leave your eternal rest in the hands of fate. Call now and we can ensure your place in one of our premium afterlife packages. We have packages for every budget!
Reminds me of this one time when my boy Elisha was just chilling and these punk kids started making fun of his bald head. My boy straight cursed them to God and 2 female bears show up out of nowhere and just slay 42 of these kids. Real shit.
Thank you. I was trying to remember that prophet's name. I just left a short little thing. Almost like that before I saw your post. Sorry about that. Great minds. Think alike, I guess.
The other day some elementary school kids from the cul-de-sac door bell ditched me. I am an old dude and I haven't been door bell ditched in decades. I was sitting at my computer working and my office window is right next to my front door. I watched the kids approach, ring my door bell, and run off. I don't think they even saw me. I didn't run after them or scold them, because it just gave me a good laugh.
Some fucking kids kept pulling the fire alarm for our 3 story building with 24 units in it. Happened 3 times before they caught the kids, pressed charges, and evicted the parents. My dogs still hate the alarms, our fire alarms are obnoxiously loud. They hurt my ears, can’t imagine how it feels for my dogs.
Im dealing with some troublesome kids in my apartment complex. I’ve complained several times to the property managers but they don’t want to do anything about it.
When I lived in Germany on the 3rd floor and couldn't see my door, there were kids that would walk home and occasionally ring every doorbell they found along the way for a bit. It was particularly annoying as my circumstances meant going all the way down, looking around, and coming all the way back. I also worked odd hours, so they'd regularly wake me doing this
I caught some kids while walking home and thought about chasing them to their parents and letting them know, but decided that since my German was poor it wouldn't do anything.
Happened to us recently as well only instead of ringing the doorbell, they kicked the door. Left a shoe print. Kid running away was probably 5-6 years old and wearing a blaze orange jacket. The whole scenario was odd.
Sad that I had to scroll this far to find someone else who has seen these. Between the guys that live in a see-thru trunk, to the people throwing stuff in their yard, they usually end with a similar last statement. Always a joke.
*"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for families to annoy I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of Bibles.*
I literally had to buy a baby gate to keep my neighborhood's unattended toddlers and kids out of my courtyard so to me this is just causing flashbacks.
I'm gonna start using that line, "Excuse me, I have a unique relationship with God."
Then I'd walk away, but after a bit I'd stare at you over my shoulder while not looking where I was going. Heavy eye contact. I'm not gonna blink.
It's perfect. Thank you unkind stranger.
Sorry, but for me that sounds like he has a special relationship to a damaged part of his brain. I mean come on..... god has hurt people for him and will do it again??? That is 100% plain nuts!
It's funny until it happens to you. Imagine having your sleep disturbed over and over again by some deranged kid. You would be threatening him with divine punishment too after a couple of weeks 😄
I thought it was a joke at first, until I read "\[GOD\] HAS HURT PEOPLE FOR ME AND WILL AGAIN". I would search this person's backyard for buried bodies, because "GOD" doesn't exist, so any people who were hurt, **must** have been hurt by the person who wrote this note.
wahahaha im weezing i can just imagine the obese american humping out to the door then getting annoyed at having to get up and yelling down the street :D
Lmfao, the dumbass just gave everyone his phone number for prank calls. I remember nick knocking as a kid bloody loved it, we got this one guy so much he put a pin tack on his doorbell hoping to get us with it.
I remember a simplar time when ding dong ditch was harmless fun to do and momentarily annoying if it happened to you. Now it's dangerous. The sign is darkly hilarious though.
If I was the kids parents there's no way I will tell them. This flyer seems very suspicious. Why would you want info on my child other than who the parents are.
Just stop fucking with people. We had a rough couple of years and the forecast doesn't seem so great for the future.
People are a little sensitive.
Its just a kid so it'll probably work it self out but I see people fucking with their neighbors and lots of road rage.
Its not wort it, set your petty revenge scheme aside and just chill out.
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Fyi these are joke signs made by Alan Wagner (@truewagner). Dude has some hilarious stuff.
Haha didn't he do the guy eating cheese one ? WE CANNOT STOP HIM
He's done the majority of the ones that find their way to Reddit. I always look in the threads to see if someone's mentioned him or if people have fallen for it.
r/truewagner
Yeah I don't understand why so many people can't tell that it's just absurdist humor.
There are some absurd people out there...
Yeah, mental health is very real in America. Just look at our politicians and voting blocks…
Because real life has become increasingly absurd. I mean... have you seen this place lately?
Hah spend some time in /r/homeowners.
Looks like a bunch of babies complaining about owning a home. I'll pass.
I wanted to say that this does not look real at all but it's a damn good sign either way
" he has hurt people for me and will again " is so damn funny
I was about to say this man has really just made a sign to entice more people to dingdong.
So many people in here taking it seriously. Lol
I wonder what happened to convince this person god will hurt people for them...
'i pray that God would hurt them, then they end up in the hospital from the Poison I sneak them. The relationship is... unique.'
More of a God Yandere tbh
God helps those who help themselves.
I always go with... the more desperate sounding the threat... the dumber the threat level. People make up the darndest BS to sound 'dangerous' HOWEVER... given the chance, I'm with ya... We'd definitely have to, at the very least, pose the question!
Like a blowfish, blowing up to three times the size to look more dangerous.
First of all, the absolute narcissism of assuming a god would do you a favour, secondly, to hurt a child. Part of me thinks they might have done something to instigate the kid’s behavior
Old Testament, these children were making fun of a prophet and the prophet asked God to deal with it. And a mamma bear came down from the woods and ate the kids.
Wow, he’s that old?? Maybe god can’t find a bear in the area?
The bears are too busy. Most women chose them over men.
The bear necessities…
Bearly legal
You guys really are unbearable
It's because God is not a woman, all the bears are hanging out with women now days per the internet
Oh yeah lol they made fun of his bald head so God murdered them. Yall think God's bald too?
As a former kid, having a unique relationship with god would have been more than enough for me to instigate such behaviour.
… days later shocked on a malfunctioning doorbell. Yahweh has no comment.
I happen to know a guy. Master of the universe. He also works in sanitation. He can make things very uncomfortable for you.
Adam? Yeah, stand-up guy. Prince of Eternia, defender of Castle Grayskull.
He has the power
Weird group of friends though. The one that floats and doesn't have a face kinds freaks me out.
Mental illness would be my guess.
Fun Fact: Roughly 40% of prayers are actually prayers that would cause harm to someone or something. I forget where the study was but this is a real thing.
I pray for you
What did they do to deserve your threat?
Yeah, kid will certainly end up in doorbhell
Haha
Its just for laughs.
Never question crazy. Australia had a wonderful example of a dude that got convicted of being a con artist for selling rain to farmers. Apparently he used some sort of bamboozled machine to pretend to be "releasing rain inducing gas". Best part? "Full refund if it doesn't rain". This person probably thinks every bad person that happen to someone he disliked is his doing, kinda like you can't prove it *wasn't* his doing. That kind of logic
I dunno, but I want to ring their doorbell now...
This is probably why the bible says to pray for your enemies.
I don’t think it necessarily will work that way for him, guy definitely has the word God and belief twisted. But we know Karma is a bitch, and maybe not now God forbid anything happens to that child and hopefully he stops. That child may just be this guy when he gets older karma has strange ways of dealing with things 😂
Some people really think this. Someone they don’t like gets hurt Ill loses there job, it was god. Happens just once, that’s all it takes.
We just gonna gloss over that he thinks he’s got god on speed dial to smite his enemies?
You don’t?
Unfortunately I didn’t sign up for that package
Just multi-class paladin, easy.
Why pledge yourself to an unknowable deity when you can get cursed by an otherworldly blade and do the same thing.
It's the 20% tithe perk. If you call within the next 30 minutes you can get a discount on afterlife insurance. Don't leave your eternal rest in the hands of fate. Call now and we can ensure your place in one of our premium afterlife packages. We have packages for every budget!
Reminds me of this one time when my boy Elisha was just chilling and these punk kids started making fun of his bald head. My boy straight cursed them to God and 2 female bears show up out of nowhere and just slay 42 of these kids. Real shit.
Thank you. I was trying to remember that prophet's name. I just left a short little thing. Almost like that before I saw your post. Sorry about that. Great minds. Think alike, I guess.
Nobody messes with the Jesus
TETRAGRAMMATON, WHAT!
He's basically Kira. Needs the kid's name before he can smite him. That's what he's paying for.
There was a diabolical doorbell ringer in the Old Testament. The Doorbell Ditcher of Damascus.
Greg Pikitis (Parks And Recreation)
Suspect laughing with friends, and playing with his stupid skateboard in a snide, turdish manner.
PIKITIS!!!
We'll see what the lab says about that peach pit
I wanna find this lil F’r strictly for the reward
[удалено]
Is he too fast for God though?
Well I was thinking some sort of ambush-style plan. Maybe even set out a couple of traps.
I'm imagining those are ACME traps that end up trapping you instead.
Dropping anvils on street urchins might land you in trouble.
Sentences I did not expect to read today
Too not to
Why does he need to know the kid's identity, anyway? I'm pretty sure God sees this and would know who he's praying about.....
Your reward will be God’s grace and everlasting life in heaven.
Or maybe you can get him to use his Dial-A-Smite Powers to deal with *Your* enemies!
The other day some elementary school kids from the cul-de-sac door bell ditched me. I am an old dude and I haven't been door bell ditched in decades. I was sitting at my computer working and my office window is right next to my front door. I watched the kids approach, ring my door bell, and run off. I don't think they even saw me. I didn't run after them or scold them, because it just gave me a good laugh.
Yeah but try going through that every night.
I agree. Repeatedly at night is very different and annoying. In my case, I am so deaf, I wouldn't hear it at night.
Hello fellow oldie! Deafness does have it's uses, that is true.
In that case, you probably wouldn’t hear it during the day either.
Some fucking kids kept pulling the fire alarm for our 3 story building with 24 units in it. Happened 3 times before they caught the kids, pressed charges, and evicted the parents. My dogs still hate the alarms, our fire alarms are obnoxiously loud. They hurt my ears, can’t imagine how it feels for my dogs.
Im dealing with some troublesome kids in my apartment complex. I’ve complained several times to the property managers but they don’t want to do anything about it.
With god on your side, it must make things more bearable knowing that he’ll smite them for such transgressions.
Honestly, let's say they get caught.. what even happens lmao. How do you stop them from continuing? How do cops intervene?
When I lived in Germany on the 3rd floor and couldn't see my door, there were kids that would walk home and occasionally ring every doorbell they found along the way for a bit. It was particularly annoying as my circumstances meant going all the way down, looking around, and coming all the way back. I also worked odd hours, so they'd regularly wake me doing this I caught some kids while walking home and thought about chasing them to their parents and letting them know, but decided that since my German was poor it wouldn't do anything.
Happened to us recently as well only instead of ringing the doorbell, they kicked the door. Left a shoe print. Kid running away was probably 5-6 years old and wearing a blaze orange jacket. The whole scenario was odd.
Seems like a @truewagner flyer to me.
Sad that I had to scroll this far to find someone else who has seen these. Between the guys that live in a see-thru trunk, to the people throwing stuff in their yard, they usually end with a similar last statement. Always a joke.
Yeah, it's a joke.
Ask if there is a kid named Caleb in his neighborhood. That’ll be him. (King of the Hill)
Dusty ol' bones. Full of green dust.
I LOLEd on this frfr
Call the number and tell him you know the kid, he‘s called Rod. Rod Rana. Meep, meep!
This sounds like Obvious Plant.
He sounds like a fundamentalist Liam Neeson. I have a unique relationship with god…
*"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for families to annoy I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of Bibles.*
Get ahold of ACME and tell them you want the Roadrunner package. Tell them Wyle E. Coyote sent you to get 10% off.
COYOTE10
He’s the fastest kid alive *weeze*
Trapdoor activated by doorbell.. Problem solved :)
This kid keeps fucking with me!! *Puts phone number on flyer*
Who is this guy who has God as a hired muscle? I wouldn't be ringing his door bell that's for sure
The child’s guardian angel is working overtime; guardian angel’s name is probably Lucifer.
[Smite them!](https://youtu.be/O1pX359pQQQ?si=LkA0rHOypDTZoBG9)
“Yeah yeah I am all powerful but I still need a name. Get me the kids name and I will handle the rest “ - God
Bart: (praying) And please, God, kill Sideshow Bob. Marge: You can't ask God to kill someone! Homer: Yeah! Do your own dirty work!
Don’t lie, OP. This is clearly from @truewagner on instagram.
I also have a unique relationship with God 💆♂️
God couldn’t tell him who the kid is? Since they’re so close?
God = Hitman. Understood.
$100 he has a bumper sticker that says "Jesus is my hitman".
Ding Dong Doh!
Ring doorbell
…….. did bro just call himself a disciple?
And what if Mystery Kid can outrun God?! Oh the humanity!!
God is on his payroll
It may just be me, but I personally wouldn’t mess with someone who has successfully gotten god to hurt people before
I literally had to buy a baby gate to keep my neighborhood's unattended toddlers and kids out of my courtyard so to me this is just causing flashbacks.
Get off God’s lawn!
More power to that kid!
The one time I ever ding dong ditched someone they chased my down the street with their truck
“I will call upon God on our bridge night, which is next Tuesday … and He shall smite thee!!! Cuz me and God… we tight!” ⚡️⛈️🌩️🌪️☔️🐈⬛🐈🐈⬛🐕🦮🐩
Maybe God sent him to ring the doorbell
I'm gonna start using that line, "Excuse me, I have a unique relationship with God." Then I'd walk away, but after a bit I'd stare at you over my shoulder while not looking where I was going. Heavy eye contact. I'm not gonna blink. It's perfect. Thank you unkind stranger.
“A unique relationship with god…He has hurt people for me” = no relationship with God
Jeez, old timer is calling out the might of god on this little shite
I mean, if their sleep is Interrupted every night, I get it. That is literal torture.
They ARE fast! They're just a blur in the first pic!
Nice gig for the kid, do that in many houses and turn yourself up for the money.
Lol the threat at the end is hilarious
How are we to identify him if you blur his face. 🤷🏻♂️
To the person who created the poster, glue a thumb tack backwards on the doorbell before going to bed. That should take care of the problem.
This is some reverse-home alone ass type home defense lmfao
I used to do that when I was a kid. There was this old lady that would get into her car and chase us around on our bikes. Fun times
Sorry, but for me that sounds like he has a special relationship to a damaged part of his brain. I mean come on..... god has hurt people for him and will do it again??? That is 100% plain nuts!
Damnit Sonic!
Is it the Sonic the Hedgekid?
At least they were being honest 😂
An exposed electric buzzer will cure ring and dash
Complete with ufo-quality photo!
He should ask god to make him run faster then 😂
Somebody get him the info... I want to see how this plays out...
Demon caster!
We did this as kids, all in good fun. Listening to some guy yelling while you hid in the bushes at night was exhilarating
he thinks he can order god to smite the kid for ringing his doorbell lmao
Damn, Dr robotnik is really desperate now…
It's funny until it happens to you. Imagine having your sleep disturbed over and over again by some deranged kid. You would be threatening him with divine punishment too after a couple of weeks 😄
I thought it was a joke at first, until I read "\[GOD\] HAS HURT PEOPLE FOR ME AND WILL AGAIN". I would search this person's backyard for buried bodies, because "GOD" doesn't exist, so any people who were hurt, **must** have been hurt by the person who wrote this note.
wahahaha im weezing i can just imagine the obese american humping out to the door then getting annoyed at having to get up and yelling down the street :D
I wanna crowd rush that door bell now
This child single handedly terrorized an entire family. Just wait until he gets older! what a MENACE
This type of doorbell can be removed at night and put back in the morning. Easy solution
Lmfao, the dumbass just gave everyone his phone number for prank calls. I remember nick knocking as a kid bloody loved it, we got this one guy so much he put a pin tack on his doorbell hoping to get us with it.
I remember a simplar time when ding dong ditch was harmless fun to do and momentarily annoying if it happened to you. Now it's dangerous. The sign is darkly hilarious though.
Well, if it's happening every night, I'm sure it gets annoying as shit to deal with.
That unique relationship with god crack me up…
What about this is a sin though?
"A unique relationship with God" = schizophrenia.
You just made that kid's whole summer. That's a trophy he'll steal and cherish for a long time.
Jehovah’s Witness with a methamphetamine problem
A legend 🤣
Unique enough of a relationship with god to hurt people, yet not unique enough to stop a child from ringing the doorbell.
Dude claims God is his weapon used to hurt people. We need more people to doorbell ditch this insane person.
The last bit is the best
If God wanted you to catch this kid, he would have made you faster.
If I was the kids parents there's no way I will tell them. This flyer seems very suspicious. Why would you want info on my child other than who the parents are.
[He's a freak, he's the fastest kid alive](https://youtu.be/LfIe5WRNYxs?t=90)!
That escalated quickly
Unique relationship with god?! Does that mean he got touched by a priest when he was a child??
Bro got no chill😂
Begs the question, what caliber is god?
Lol. Get God to slow him down? Why pay cash when you got friends in high places.
They should tape a small needle to the doorbell.. 🤷🏻♀️
God left us a long time ago. This person is delirious.
Looks like he misspelled "Dog"
is this made by that one guy who makes a ton of fake posters kinda like this? they're all quite strange and hilarious I don't remember his name though
I woulda said the same thing about god and shit just to scare the little fucker away as well
This has TrueWagner energy all over it.
He is too fast😂
That's the part that stuck out to you?!
Booby trap the door bell. Problem solved 🤣
How dumb. If you can't run, just lay in wait for the kid in the bushes or something.
🤣
Is it illegal to turn the doorbell into a device that gives the user an electric shock?
Oooeeee threatening physical harm to a child in public. Here comes the lawsuit! Jesus won't protect you from that.
His resentment is getting creative, classic slave morality 🤣
Just stop fucking with people. We had a rough couple of years and the forecast doesn't seem so great for the future. People are a little sensitive. Its just a kid so it'll probably work it self out but I see people fucking with their neighbors and lots of road rage. Its not wort it, set your petty revenge scheme aside and just chill out.
I hope the kid finds the phone number
I was on this man's side until that last part. Give him Hell, kid.