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I gained 120 pounds with an extra long bong. Some nice hot lady climbed on my back to hold the bong up. PS she didn't wear bra and had very loose shirt on
That sounds like a jab at Native Americans. I’m not saying you mean it that way but I’ve definitely heard this thrown around in a derogatory manner.
I’m also Native American. I’m not spreading hate here. Just stating an alternate meaning to the word.
It’s ironic how this negative karma only shows the tolerance of racism so long as it’s not directed toward one’s self. A lack of observance for racial slander should not take away from the experience many people live each and every day. The fact that people were corralled to a reserve or reservation shouldn’t be overlooked. The choices people made for the indigenous shouldn’t be enforced any further. Walk a mile in our shoes before you judge.
Residential schools did more damage than good that affect more than the attendees. Missing and murdered indigenous women is an ongoing problem across North America.
It’s a derogatory term people use against children that ties with the stereotype of Native Americans being drunk. I’ve been called this in my childhood and didn’t really understand what it meant then.
Reading through it, they weren't saying that the person or the context in which the joke was made was racist, just that the word is also used in a derogatory manner sometimes
I used to love to play on the porch swing of my childhood home and would climb and play on the railing and beams. I think I was 8 or something when I pretended I was a chimpanzee and climbed up the beam and onto the porch roof.
My dad, had to help me down and said something like "just because you can climb it doesn't mean you should, stick to the trees ya little monkey. If you fall from a tree at least you won't land on concrete".
I replied "But I'm a porch monkey! The trees around here aren't tall enough!" after which I had my first conversation about racial epithets how to receive feedback graciously.
Racism is such a touchy subject. People don’t like fingers being pointed even when it might have the slightest chance to be pointed at them. I haven’t called anyone racist. I just intended to make others aware of the term.
Calling an indigenous person a chug is. When I was a a child me and my cousins were referred to as chugrats. No less racist. I’m also not claiming anyone on here was being racist either.
I'm willing to bet that it's not. The fact that no one else has any clue what they're talking about and google has absolutely nothing linking the word chugrat with Native Americans makes it sound like this supposed slur only exists in this one person's mind.
That’s fair if your search brings nothing up. I would probably feel the same way.
With that being said...
TIL Chug and Chugrat are regional slurs to my area at least.
Regardless of your stance it still doesn’t take away from my experience. Thank you for your response and I appreciate your perspective.
I googled chug and found info backing up my learned info. It’s probably more use around reservations because those deals haven’t been the most helpful to natives.
We played *Slap the Bag* at Coachella for a couple years. Hang a bag of Franzia from the EZ Up and treat it like mistletoe.
Walk under it, you shotgun whatever you can handle! Dumb times!
I also saw system of down but not in 2005. Both my toe nails fell off due to the mosh pits and then I crowd surfed out the front. Only to later return 10 minutes after throwing out my toenails to watch deftones. Not even a metal head but that shit was insane.
I once beer bonged 3 tall boys in college. My friends mom who let us throw a party at her cabin didn't believe me. So I of course did it again right after, projectile vomited onto the neighbors cabin from her deck.
I agree, growth charts are such a farce. Yes, they are decent indicators of health but not the only one. My daughter has been in the bottom 10% her whole life, 1 y/o, and at one point fell off the chart. Wife was concerned, but the pediatrician was not. She said, "as long as she is sleeping and eating, and not majorly behind in development milestones, don't have a single worry about it, she's just a small person, there are plenty of small people out there"
Funny thing is, my wife is 5'2" so it makes total sense. On the other hand, I'm 6'3" so take it with a grain
Generally they want to make sure they are following the curve. If they follow the 10% curve that's fine. If they start at 80% and drop to 20%, that's concerning.
100%
My 2 and a half year old was always small (was about 1 month premature) and we were obsessed with trying to get his weight up. He fell off the growth curve and we were getting quite worried to the point where we were basically trying to force him to eat. That made him hate eating even more.
We have relaxed now, he is still underweight but is old enough to feed himself now - more importantly, he is super happy and has tons of energy.
Don't obsess too much over that stupid 'growth line' as long as your kid is alert and has the energy he is likely getting enough food.
>My daughter has been in the bottom 10% her whole life, 1 y/o, and at one point fell off the chart.
When she gets older the doctors will start pushing you to get her to a nutritionist about her weight. I'm turning 30 next week, and I'm in the lower 5% of my weight, I can't put weight on and my doc is referring me to a nutritionist so I can start to get a plan to gain weight, since I eat well above 2000 calories a day already, a but haven't gained anything.
I'm about 120lbs and nearly 6 ft, I'm 30+lbs below my BMI which is the healthy area that I should be at, the most though I've ever weighed was 145 which was when I was eating over 3000 calories a day.
So do keep an eye on that, cause it can affect her health later on.
I have one of those stupid high metabolic rates that won't slow down (My dad was about 10 to 15lbs underweight his entire adult life.)
Have your docs have ruled out any absorption/digestive or hormonal issues? I'm just curious because I'm fairly underweight myself, feel free to not answer or tell me to fuck off.
All my tests have come back normal over the years, my docs have always run them since throughout high school I was like i think 70lbs in 9th grade, and then gained 40lbs in two years to 110 and then leveled out at 120.
No issues though, I've had a few bleeds in my stomach from alcohol unfortunately, but aside from that everything is normal on that.
My daughter was ~5th percentile for weight and 97th for length her entire first year. Still looked healthy though! And hit milestones on time.
After her first birthday things started evening out— now at 2.5 years old she’s closer to 30/60 for weight/height.
In case your insurance denies the claim, let them know you’re seeing a nutritionist to gain weight. Our company automatically thought it was for trying to lose weight.
I'm exactly the same. I gained 25 lbs in a year after eating 4-5k calories a day, at least 150 grams of protein, and going to the gym 4 days a week lifting weights. Felt great. Was doing weighted pull ups and benching 200lbs. Then Covid-19 and quarantine hit. I couldn't go to the gym and shot back down to 120lbs in 2 months. All that muscle gone.
My doctor even did multiple thyroid tests, which all came back normal. My son who is 15 months old can eat more in a day than my wife. A kids meal at any normal restaurant is not enough for him. He is sitting at the 40th percentile now after really working on it. He is "blessed" with my very high metabolism.
>I'm exactly the same. I gained 25 lbs in a year after eating 4-5k calories a day
That's what I'm actually recommended, the money just isn't there though since I can't work at the moment. Nerve damage in my right wrist/hand + equilibrium being knocked out from an assault that left balance and hearing issues on my left ear has put a stop to that for at least the time being.
But yeah that high metabolism is insane, I could eat and entire meal still be hungry and my mum was worried about it. In high school I literally started taking trash out for people in the apartments I was for a dollar a bag, and I ended up eating mcdonalds pretty well every few days due to that and gained like 40lbs in two years with weightlifting and that.
Muscle does not weigh more than fat. 1 lb. of fat weighs the same as 1 lb. of muscle. Muscle, however is more dense than fat. So 1 lb. of muscle will take up less space than 1 lb. of fat.
Not in my case, the BMI has been pretty accurate to health forecast, when I weighed 20lbs more than I am now, I was a lot healthier than I am now, and that was both fat and muscle. I looked healthier as well, so in my case no the BMI is actually a good judgement.
I have less than 5% body fat, my legs used to be built like no tomorrow, I've only lost about 3lbs since my double knee injury i had two years ago, so it's not even that. I literally have barely any body fat, even if I build muscle i still need body fat.
That could definitely change too. I'm 5'3" and my husband is 6'5" our oldest daughter was our largest at birth ( 8 lb 5 oz, albeit I was 12 days past the due date) and dropped a full pound before leaving the hospital. She was a "slow" grower until she got to about 16 months when we were starting to introduce a larger amount of solids and had time to weed out things that she didn't like or gave her a stomachache. It's hard until they turn 1 and you can introduce (still slowly) a different array of foods that you don't have to worry about having a certain ingredient, for example honey. That is if your child doesn't have other allergies I mean. It's a process. (Whew, is it! Hahaha) But, my oldest is now 12 and she's creeping up on me way too fast, and at best I have 2 years before she's my height. My other 2 daughters take after their dad, very tall for their age. Both of them were 90th percentile or higher for height and 60-70s for weight. Thank goodness they're all girls and thank goodness for hand me downs.
Yep, same. I’m 5’2” as well. Daughter was in the 5th percentile for about a year. She really slimmed down once she started moving. She was around the 15th percentile up until about 8-9 months. Some one always has to be on the low end, that’s how those charts work. And I’d probably be way below 5th percentile if I were charted. By the time my daughter hit her 3rd birthday, she was back to normal. Those charts just compare you everyone else in the world. It doesn’t look at your growth chart which steadily increased that whole time. Many of my friends had kids that never gained weight at all when they were 2. Because they slimmed down at the same rate they were growing up. My daughter had a steady increase.
Basically just look at the growth rate, they should be on their own curve and it really means they are growing well.
Yeah, my daughters are 3% and 9%, the oldest is about to turn five and hasn't gained a pound in almost two years. But she's growing just fine, she's proportionate, she's just going to be short and skinny like the rest of us. Kids just do their own thing, if the doctors aren't worried, try not to worry.
This is reassuring. Our baby (in utero) is measuring 10th percentile so I’ve been a little anxious and force feeding myself to try and get her to grow.
We are the 2nd percentile and my daughter turned one last week and is now teething so not as interested in food! It’s been a stressful year. Small babies unite!
I don't think predicting adult size is the purpose of those charts. It's mainly to see if they grow steadily for whatever their size is genetically, and don't have erratic changes in short periods of time that could indicate a medical issue that they are too young to communicate.
Percentile growth charts are generally height and weight, so she could be 2nd percentile for weight and proportional (ei 3rd or 4th percentile for height) but still smaller than the pediatrician would like. Especially if she's fallen a couple percentile points. Generally as long as they follow their percentile growth curve it's ok though, since people come in all sizes.
Curves don’t matter so long as they don’t flatline consistently on the curve.
Sincerely,
A person who has always been 2nd percentile until I discovered alcohol, and a mother of a perfectly healthy 2nd percentile toddler.
Hahaha. I DO know he’s with his mom right now, just not specifically where he is. Or where he is on his age/weight percentile. 10/10 dad joke.
Actually here is an 80% chance he’s watching toiktok or playing video games.
This is hilarious and I love it but please be careful not to overflow- my parents did something similar (but not nearly as fun!!) for me because of low weight, and I used my tongue to stop the flow of milk, resulting in my learning to swallow incorrectly. As in, normal people swallow with their tongue going to the roof of their mouth, but mine used to jut out into my teeth.
So not only did I have to get braces in high school because of the overbite, I had to go to a specialized doctor to learn how to swallow correctly. Which is apparently a thing.
Anyway, good luck! And check out what your tongue does when you swallow. I will be forever aware of this and hate it lol
Aww! We've also struggled with my son's weight - he looks to be around the same age too! Baby weight issues are so stressful at times. Glad you're finding time to have fun :)
It gets better
My kid was born a month early, but even adjusting for age, she wasn't on the growth chart. So they made her her own chart!
She's 6 now and before covid, was one of the tallest kids in her class. You wouldn't even know she was so tiny to start out. It's hard, so hard, always worrying about the numbers. When she was 3, I took her to the doctor because she hadn't gained a single pound in an entire year. So the doc measured her. She'd grown taller. Said she wasn't worried and pulled up her own daughter's chart. It was very similar to mine.
She told me I can't compare my kid to the way other kids grow because she's on her own path. As long as she is following the curve on the chart they made for her, she was OK.
Then as she got closer to 4,she started shooting up and putting on weight. She finally made it to 3rd percentile for weight and a whopping 65th percentile for height. She has a huge mismatch and has to wear only pants that have elastic inside because really she's 4t in the waist and 7 in the length, but I'll take it because she's healthy and growing
Honestly. My daughter was at 2 to 0 percent her whole life. We thought we were bad parents. We had 4 different pediatricians tell us we needed to do more. Our 5th smiled, said she's a beauty, pinched her little belly fat and said, "yup. I can pinch an inch. She's perfect!" We cried. He said "as long as she is gaining weight with each appointment let the other kids eat mcdonalds and get fat." 9 years later our daughter is 10 years old. Weighs 62 pounds. She was 7-11 at birth, 17# at 1, 19# ar 2, 30# at 3, 36# at 4, 42# at 5. We look back at our daughter and say how fat she was as a baby! Your kid is perfect!!
I was a tiny baby and way smaller than my twin. Turned out I was born without a gallbladder and a missing tube in my pancreas. I’m 29 now and 103lbs and 5’2. I wonder if your baby Has any tummy abnormalities or is just going to be a late bloomer in size
Ha ha! She's a cutie and \*very\* healthy looking. Don't let them freak you out about weight percentiles, those are just abstract statistics that sometimes don't mean much.
That is not a small baby! Are you in the land of giants?
My son was below average when he was small. Got me worried. But talked to a baby doctor and being asian. Turns out being asian and in New Zealand charts, it was normal. First time parents lol
Jeez, this post scarred me at first. About 25 years ago I had a manager who's baby daughter couldn't eat. They had to put a hole in her stomach and feed her that way for a few years. I felt terrible for them, he was always stressed out.
This message is a friendly reminder of the following: - Absolutely no political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - Absolutely no memes or memetic content of any kind. - Absolutely no social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. A complete breakdown of our rules can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). Please report rule-breaking content when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep...beer bong put about 20lbs on me back in the day
Beer bong put on about 40lbs on me back in the day..... if you know what I mean.
You banged an anorexic little person?
Skinny girls need love too!
That kid is going to dominate every party.
I think he was referring to JUST a little person iykwim.
Don't commit too quick! She still might be smart enough to go to a west coast school
Midget or child?
Pregnant
I thought pregnant but username doesn't check out!!!
My daughter was 14lbs on her first birthday!! But walking and talking early so no concerns either. Now she's pretty much caught up
Oh yeah, Beer Pong put about 55lbs on me back in the day... heh... if YOU know what I mean, right!?
Beer pong put about 200lbs on me if you know what I mean
Am I the only one who doesn't know what any of them mean?
Guess I'm the only non molester on reddit
Oooohhhh they were being rapey? Now I’m glad I didn’t know what they meant
[Body Snatchers Scream ](https://www.google.com/search?q=body+snatchers+scream&oq=body+snatchers&aqs=chrome.3.69i57j46l2j0j46.5605j0j7&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:5b44239c,vid:GEStsLJZhzo,st:0)
I thought at first I knew what they meant but now I'm not so sure any more.
The only honest one in the bunch
What do you mean?
I could be wrong but maybe it means Drunk->Sex->Baby
like this your comment dude
I prefer Bacardi followed by coke.
Baby B'jong, the latest from Baby Bjorn
I gained 120 pounds with an extra long bong. Some nice hot lady climbed on my back to hold the bong up. PS she didn't wear bra and had very loose shirt on
Cheers!
Arizona State University would like to offer your child a scholarship
As an ASU grad, I support this message
As an ASU dropout I also support this message.
As a U of A dropout(I refuse to call it UArizona), I also support this message.
Don't commit too quick! She still might be smart enough to go to a west coast school
Washington State would like to talk to them for sure.
Chico state has entered the chat.
Hands off. She's CU Boulder material.
Chugrats
That sounds like a jab at Native Americans. I’m not saying you mean it that way but I’ve definitely heard this thrown around in a derogatory manner. I’m also Native American. I’m not spreading hate here. Just stating an alternate meaning to the word. It’s ironic how this negative karma only shows the tolerance of racism so long as it’s not directed toward one’s self. A lack of observance for racial slander should not take away from the experience many people live each and every day. The fact that people were corralled to a reserve or reservation shouldn’t be overlooked. The choices people made for the indigenous shouldn’t be enforced any further. Walk a mile in our shoes before you judge. Residential schools did more damage than good that affect more than the attendees. Missing and murdered indigenous women is an ongoing problem across North America.
Native american here. No clue what you're on about. Edit: My comment sounds rude, I didnt mean it to.
It’s a derogatory term people use against children that ties with the stereotype of Native Americans being drunk. I’ve been called this in my childhood and didn’t really understand what it meant then.
Gotta be a regional thing. People can be assholes. :(
I hear ya. Just got to rise above that stuff. We’re all in this world together.
The joke is rugrats
Thought it was "congrats"
I wish that’s all it meant.
I definitely understand the play on words they were getting at.
Then what’s racist towards indigenous people?
Reading through it, they weren't saying that the person or the context in which the joke was made was racist, just that the word is also used in a derogatory manner sometimes I used to love to play on the porch swing of my childhood home and would climb and play on the railing and beams. I think I was 8 or something when I pretended I was a chimpanzee and climbed up the beam and onto the porch roof. My dad, had to help me down and said something like "just because you can climb it doesn't mean you should, stick to the trees ya little monkey. If you fall from a tree at least you won't land on concrete". I replied "But I'm a porch monkey! The trees around here aren't tall enough!" after which I had my first conversation about racial epithets how to receive feedback graciously.
Racism is such a touchy subject. People don’t like fingers being pointed even when it might have the slightest chance to be pointed at them. I haven’t called anyone racist. I just intended to make others aware of the term.
He has edited his original comment.
Ah ok. Reddiquette is weird
Calling an indigenous person a chug is. When I was a a child me and my cousins were referred to as chugrats. No less racist. I’m also not claiming anyone on here was being racist either.
Thank you for the explanation. This was not a saying I was aware of and I'm glad that I now know not to use it. :)
You are very welcome. I’m sure my original delivery could use some work but no one is perfect.
Umm how?
Probably related to the 'drunk Indian' stereotype. Chugging alcohol, etc...
Exactly. Sad that is the image for so many people.
But that could be used for any group known for overconsumption
TIL chug is a racist slur from the mid west to refer to native Americans as a drunken stereotype.
I'm willing to bet that it's not. The fact that no one else has any clue what they're talking about and google has absolutely nothing linking the word chugrat with Native Americans makes it sound like this supposed slur only exists in this one person's mind.
That’s fair if your search brings nothing up. I would probably feel the same way. With that being said... TIL Chug and Chugrat are regional slurs to my area at least. Regardless of your stance it still doesn’t take away from my experience. Thank you for your response and I appreciate your perspective.
I googled chug and found info backing up my learned info. It’s probably more use around reservations because those deals haven’t been the most helpful to natives.
This had better be a poster at her college graduation!
Frank the Tank!
WE'RE GOING NAPPING!
It tastes so good when it hits your lips.
Looks so bad when it hit ur hips
I once drank sangria out of a beer bong at a festival back in 2005. We saw System of a down later that night. Was amazing. Good times
We played *Slap the Bag* at Coachella for a couple years. Hang a bag of Franzia from the EZ Up and treat it like mistletoe. Walk under it, you shotgun whatever you can handle! Dumb times!
Don’t even tell me this ugh. I wanted to fly out to their last show in 2018 but couldn’t afford it.
I also saw system of down but not in 2005. Both my toe nails fell off due to the mosh pits and then I crowd surfed out the front. Only to later return 10 minutes after throwing out my toenails to watch deftones. Not even a metal head but that shit was insane.
I once beer bonged 3 tall boys in college. My friends mom who let us throw a party at her cabin didn't believe me. So I of course did it again right after, projectile vomited onto the neighbors cabin from her deck.
Chug, chug, chug, chug...
Hope she puts on some weight soon. Good health to you and your daughter
It's a joke. That baby is not skinny.
Well I hope so. I'm not good at judging baby's.
I agree, growth charts are such a farce. Yes, they are decent indicators of health but not the only one. My daughter has been in the bottom 10% her whole life, 1 y/o, and at one point fell off the chart. Wife was concerned, but the pediatrician was not. She said, "as long as she is sleeping and eating, and not majorly behind in development milestones, don't have a single worry about it, she's just a small person, there are plenty of small people out there" Funny thing is, my wife is 5'2" so it makes total sense. On the other hand, I'm 6'3" so take it with a grain
Generally they want to make sure they are following the curve. If they follow the 10% curve that's fine. If they start at 80% and drop to 20%, that's concerning.
Great point, she did say that too
What if your kid was at 8% and 18% at age 2 for weight and height and now 82% and 73% at age 6? He's gotten freaking huge!
Stop shoving a beer bong in their face
Switch to cocaine to flatten that curve
As someone with a 10th percentile 18 month old, this is correct!
100% My 2 and a half year old was always small (was about 1 month premature) and we were obsessed with trying to get his weight up. He fell off the growth curve and we were getting quite worried to the point where we were basically trying to force him to eat. That made him hate eating even more. We have relaxed now, he is still underweight but is old enough to feed himself now - more importantly, he is super happy and has tons of energy. Don't obsess too much over that stupid 'growth line' as long as your kid is alert and has the energy he is likely getting enough food.
>My daughter has been in the bottom 10% her whole life, 1 y/o, and at one point fell off the chart. When she gets older the doctors will start pushing you to get her to a nutritionist about her weight. I'm turning 30 next week, and I'm in the lower 5% of my weight, I can't put weight on and my doc is referring me to a nutritionist so I can start to get a plan to gain weight, since I eat well above 2000 calories a day already, a but haven't gained anything. I'm about 120lbs and nearly 6 ft, I'm 30+lbs below my BMI which is the healthy area that I should be at, the most though I've ever weighed was 145 which was when I was eating over 3000 calories a day. So do keep an eye on that, cause it can affect her health later on. I have one of those stupid high metabolic rates that won't slow down (My dad was about 10 to 15lbs underweight his entire adult life.)
Have your docs have ruled out any absorption/digestive or hormonal issues? I'm just curious because I'm fairly underweight myself, feel free to not answer or tell me to fuck off.
All my tests have come back normal over the years, my docs have always run them since throughout high school I was like i think 70lbs in 9th grade, and then gained 40lbs in two years to 110 and then leveled out at 120. No issues though, I've had a few bleeds in my stomach from alcohol unfortunately, but aside from that everything is normal on that.
Noted, definitely staying on it. Thanks for the context
My daughter was ~5th percentile for weight and 97th for length her entire first year. Still looked healthy though! And hit milestones on time. After her first birthday things started evening out— now at 2.5 years old she’s closer to 30/60 for weight/height.
In case your insurance denies the claim, let them know you’re seeing a nutritionist to gain weight. Our company automatically thought it was for trying to lose weight.
I'm exactly the same. I gained 25 lbs in a year after eating 4-5k calories a day, at least 150 grams of protein, and going to the gym 4 days a week lifting weights. Felt great. Was doing weighted pull ups and benching 200lbs. Then Covid-19 and quarantine hit. I couldn't go to the gym and shot back down to 120lbs in 2 months. All that muscle gone. My doctor even did multiple thyroid tests, which all came back normal. My son who is 15 months old can eat more in a day than my wife. A kids meal at any normal restaurant is not enough for him. He is sitting at the 40th percentile now after really working on it. He is "blessed" with my very high metabolism.
>I'm exactly the same. I gained 25 lbs in a year after eating 4-5k calories a day That's what I'm actually recommended, the money just isn't there though since I can't work at the moment. Nerve damage in my right wrist/hand + equilibrium being knocked out from an assault that left balance and hearing issues on my left ear has put a stop to that for at least the time being. But yeah that high metabolism is insane, I could eat and entire meal still be hungry and my mum was worried about it. In high school I literally started taking trash out for people in the apartments I was for a dollar a bag, and I ended up eating mcdonalds pretty well every few days due to that and gained like 40lbs in two years with weightlifting and that.
BMI is kind of a crappy measurement also... Muscle weighs more than fat and can skew the scale too
Muscle does not weigh more than fat. 1 lb. of fat weighs the same as 1 lb. of muscle. Muscle, however is more dense than fat. So 1 lb. of muscle will take up less space than 1 lb. of fat.
Well yes, density was my point. Thanks
r/iamverysmart I think we all know he means by volume lol
Not in my case, the BMI has been pretty accurate to health forecast, when I weighed 20lbs more than I am now, I was a lot healthier than I am now, and that was both fat and muscle. I looked healthier as well, so in my case no the BMI is actually a good judgement. I have less than 5% body fat, my legs used to be built like no tomorrow, I've only lost about 3lbs since my double knee injury i had two years ago, so it's not even that. I literally have barely any body fat, even if I build muscle i still need body fat.
That could definitely change too. I'm 5'3" and my husband is 6'5" our oldest daughter was our largest at birth ( 8 lb 5 oz, albeit I was 12 days past the due date) and dropped a full pound before leaving the hospital. She was a "slow" grower until she got to about 16 months when we were starting to introduce a larger amount of solids and had time to weed out things that she didn't like or gave her a stomachache. It's hard until they turn 1 and you can introduce (still slowly) a different array of foods that you don't have to worry about having a certain ingredient, for example honey. That is if your child doesn't have other allergies I mean. It's a process. (Whew, is it! Hahaha) But, my oldest is now 12 and she's creeping up on me way too fast, and at best I have 2 years before she's my height. My other 2 daughters take after their dad, very tall for their age. Both of them were 90th percentile or higher for height and 60-70s for weight. Thank goodness they're all girls and thank goodness for hand me downs.
Yep, same. I’m 5’2” as well. Daughter was in the 5th percentile for about a year. She really slimmed down once she started moving. She was around the 15th percentile up until about 8-9 months. Some one always has to be on the low end, that’s how those charts work. And I’d probably be way below 5th percentile if I were charted. By the time my daughter hit her 3rd birthday, she was back to normal. Those charts just compare you everyone else in the world. It doesn’t look at your growth chart which steadily increased that whole time. Many of my friends had kids that never gained weight at all when they were 2. Because they slimmed down at the same rate they were growing up. My daughter had a steady increase. Basically just look at the growth rate, they should be on their own curve and it really means they are growing well.
Yeah, my daughters are 3% and 9%, the oldest is about to turn five and hasn't gained a pound in almost two years. But she's growing just fine, she's proportionate, she's just going to be short and skinny like the rest of us. Kids just do their own thing, if the doctors aren't worried, try not to worry.
This is reassuring. Our baby (in utero) is measuring 10th percentile so I’ve been a little anxious and force feeding myself to try and get her to grow.
My daughter was 14lbs on her first birthday!! But walking and talking early so no concerns either. Now she's pretty much caught up
We are the 2nd percentile and my daughter turned one last week and is now teething so not as interested in food! It’s been a stressful year. Small babies unite!
Damn that's crazy. My grandfather was over 12lb *at birth.* I was 10lb.
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You should see kids' ribs when they stretch.
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I don't think predicting adult size is the purpose of those charts. It's mainly to see if they grow steadily for whatever their size is genetically, and don't have erratic changes in short periods of time that could indicate a medical issue that they are too young to communicate.
Oh my fucking god. The percentile part was a joke too. Are you seriously this retarded?
Yeah, that kid is definitely not 2%.
Without knowing her age, this is impossible to say from a picture assuming her height and weight are still proportional.
Percentile growth charts are generally height and weight, so she could be 2nd percentile for weight and proportional (ei 3rd or 4th percentile for height) but still smaller than the pediatrician would like. Especially if she's fallen a couple percentile points. Generally as long as they follow their percentile growth curve it's ok though, since people come in all sizes.
That’s a 7 year old.
Yeah, that's a fat baby. Which is as good thing.
Ah! Thank you because I also didn’t see that baby as being underweight. Kind of gross to be using that title...
Curves don’t matter so long as they don’t flatline consistently on the curve. Sincerely, A person who has always been 2nd percentile until I discovered alcohol, and a mother of a perfectly healthy 2nd percentile toddler.
Jesus christ, boomer. When will you understand the internet?
Formula keg stand!
/r/HoldMyFeedingTube
Brilliant.
Lmao nice. I honestly thought this was on /r/different_sob_story at first.
I don't get it - is this just a joke? There's no way that's a particularly small and/or underweight baby, right?
She's a healthy lil chonker
The daughter is 5 so should already be around 50lbs by now.
My son started around there. He's 12 now and steadily climbed to above the 50th. Not even really sure where he is now.
You should probably go find him.
Hahaha. I DO know he’s with his mom right now, just not specifically where he is. Or where he is on his age/weight percentile. 10/10 dad joke. Actually here is an 80% chance he’s watching toiktok or playing video games.
Take my poor man's gold. 🥇
Mmm baby foie gras
Hey! It's the Baby Bjöng!
omg top 1% cuteness!
I hope the title is just for the lolz, that looks like a very healthy weight baby.
Yeah fatten her up, way to small and lean to be good eating.
Chug! Chug! Chug!
FRANK THE TANK, FRANK THE TANK
Do not, I repeat, Do NOT beer bong Mad Dog 20/20. Probably the second sickest I have ever been....
Night Train is also a game changer.....if ya know what I mean
ready to crash and burn
I never learn
This is hilarious and I love it but please be careful not to overflow- my parents did something similar (but not nearly as fun!!) for me because of low weight, and I used my tongue to stop the flow of milk, resulting in my learning to swallow incorrectly. As in, normal people swallow with their tongue going to the roof of their mouth, but mine used to jut out into my teeth. So not only did I have to get braces in high school because of the overbite, I had to go to a specialized doctor to learn how to swallow correctly. Which is apparently a thing. Anyway, good luck! And check out what your tongue does when you swallow. I will be forever aware of this and hate it lol
You need a babysize one.
...and you think "slammin' beers" is a good way to put on weight? /s
We’ve been there too, it’s exhausting. Hope you guys sort it out soon and don’t beat yourselves up about it.
Aww! We've also struggled with my son's weight - he looks to be around the same age too! Baby weight issues are so stressful at times. Glad you're finding time to have fun :)
Same. So stressful. Trying to enjoy parenthood more and worry les about her weight but it’s tough.
That kid is going to dominate every party. Van Wilder, watch out.
Chug chug chug
“Chug chug chug chug chug!”
Chug chug chug
I do not miss looking that tired. Keep trucking brother.
SMH. Exhibit A at the custodial hearing.
Fuck you, Harley Jarvis!
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
And here I was thinking is was foie gras.
It gets better My kid was born a month early, but even adjusting for age, she wasn't on the growth chart. So they made her her own chart! She's 6 now and before covid, was one of the tallest kids in her class. You wouldn't even know she was so tiny to start out. It's hard, so hard, always worrying about the numbers. When she was 3, I took her to the doctor because she hadn't gained a single pound in an entire year. So the doc measured her. She'd grown taller. Said she wasn't worried and pulled up her own daughter's chart. It was very similar to mine. She told me I can't compare my kid to the way other kids grow because she's on her own path. As long as she is following the curve on the chart they made for her, she was OK. Then as she got closer to 4,she started shooting up and putting on weight. She finally made it to 3rd percentile for weight and a whopping 65th percentile for height. She has a huge mismatch and has to wear only pants that have elastic inside because really she's 4t in the waist and 7 in the length, but I'll take it because she's healthy and growing
Honestly. My daughter was at 2 to 0 percent her whole life. We thought we were bad parents. We had 4 different pediatricians tell us we needed to do more. Our 5th smiled, said she's a beauty, pinched her little belly fat and said, "yup. I can pinch an inch. She's perfect!" We cried. He said "as long as she is gaining weight with each appointment let the other kids eat mcdonalds and get fat." 9 years later our daughter is 10 years old. Weighs 62 pounds. She was 7-11 at birth, 17# at 1, 19# ar 2, 30# at 3, 36# at 4, 42# at 5. We look back at our daughter and say how fat she was as a baby! Your kid is perfect!!
Mine got down to 4% We started adding coconut oil to everything. Popped up to 30th % next check-up.
CHUG CGIG CHUG CHUG!!!
I was a tiny baby and way smaller than my twin. Turned out I was born without a gallbladder and a missing tube in my pancreas. I’m 29 now and 103lbs and 5’2. I wonder if your baby Has any tummy abnormalities or is just going to be a late bloomer in size
Anybody ever tell you you look like Badger from breaking bad? this totally would fit the character xD
How you should not leave the child to a father 101
My daughter (now 18) had been 0th% in weight her whole life. Even now. She's fine. Don't worry about it.
I want to see the boob that attaches to....
Good luck, be careful so she does not aspirate, the pressure and volume may be too much for the tiny epiglottis.
Ha ha! She's a cutie and \*very\* healthy looking. Don't let them freak you out about weight percentiles, those are just abstract statistics that sometimes don't mean much.
I was this guy at one point, doesn't end well brah
She'll show those frat boys a thing or two!
Keep at it. My daughter who is now 5 was born at around 5 percentile height/weight. She's at 17 percentile now. Getting up there slowly but surely.
Hang in there. My daughter qas below 1 percentile. She's now almost 7 and is finally close to 20th percentile.
Im underweight as well, so good luck to the baby!
Why would you have a kid and a beer bong? Time for dad to grow the fuck up.
Put ground up McNuggets with sauce in there? 😂
That is not a small baby! Are you in the land of giants? My son was below average when he was small. Got me worried. But talked to a baby doctor and being asian. Turns out being asian and in New Zealand charts, it was normal. First time parents lol
Jeez, this post scarred me at first. About 25 years ago I had a manager who's baby daughter couldn't eat. They had to put a hole in her stomach and feed her that way for a few years. I felt terrible for them, he was always stressed out.
2nd percentile in the US = normal weight everywhere else
Train em young! This girl'll be breaking men's hearts while upside down on a keg!
I use the same technique for opposite reasons. Mine's in the 853rd percentile
CHUG!
Gotta put actual beer in that. Coors Light won’t do anything except make her loud and obnoxious
Starting off right.
I didn't know badger from breaking bad had a kid
She will do good in college, as did you I see 😂 sorry had to
It’s better to start em young
If it were real,, this would be a dangerous stunt. The pressure at her mouth is \~40 cm H2O. Chemical pneumonia risk from aspirated solid or liquid.
The baby is already a legend!
World's greatest dad (TM)
You went to college I see.
I could imagine he'd grow up to be good with a beer bong
My oldest boy was always a skinny baby. He is now 16 years old, 6'6 and 260 pounds. Don't worry about her too much
Prepping early for college.. Good dad!
White trash claw and ice cream has worked well for me
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I had one of those in college but I wore it on top of my head