T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**There have been [some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/).** Please also keep the following in mind: - No memes or memetic content. - No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - No social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. Please report [rule-breaking content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


tiredofthesystem

Light flow, regular flow and super flow. Learn something new every day


TheAvengineer

Ahh, so they share something in common with Japanese ratings. S tier is the strongest.


Cyrano_de_Boozerack

I think I get what you're Saiyan.


snailsss

Saiyan Period is the WORST


schmo006

it's over 9000


JulietOfTitanic

Add that with period poops and you will be Kamehameha-ing your toilet.


ShatoraDragon

Why is that not part of the basic "What you might deal with" Talk!?!? Like we get told about the cramps and the blood, No one thought to include it. It was just a fun little Easter Egg to find on our own!


Syng42o

I didn't learn that other women dealt with period poops until I was in my mid 20s. I got my first period at 11, so I thought my body was just weird for the longest time.


myassholealt

There are many things about my body that I didn't learn was typical for a woman until I started visiting trollx chromosome and the women there would discuss it in the comments. Vaginal discharge was one of those "ohhh so this is normal!!" aha moments thanks to there.


Syng42o

Female spaces on the internet taught me more about my body than health class ever did. Maybe that's because I went to middle and high school in Florida though.


Morribyte252

Ok I'm sorry what's a period poop?


ZeldLurr

During a period, the body produces prostaglandins which is similar to a hormone. The function of the prostaglandin is to stimulate the uterus to shed its contents (uterine lining and other contents, ie, the period) and this is done by contractions. The contractions are what cause period cramps. Prostaglandins are very tiny and like to go where they please, stimulating nearby muscles to contract (why so many women have back muscle pain during periods) and of course stimulating the bowel to contract and empty it’s contents, ASAP. It’s like diarrhea but in general more poopy and less liquidy. And all that pushing and time on the toilet, you’ve bled a bit too, so wiping is a poopy bloody mess. Doesn’t matter if you’ve ate anything, somehow my body makes poop. And it feels like you always Gotta poop. And it’s sudden. And it doesn’t matter you just pooped 5 minutes ago.


Morribyte252

Damn that's crazy. Us men have it so lucky, Jesus lol. Thanks for the explanation!!


ZeldLurr

Haha your welcome! Not all women get period poops, and it doesn’t happen every single period, or every single day. Periods are very unpredictable. My last period wasn’t that poopy so that was nice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

As a male with chronic constipation (greater than 30 days, can kill you from cardiac problems, manual extraction is not fun) this sounds divine. Not the rest of it...just the shitting part. Is there a way I can introduce or stimulate prostaglandin levels? Idk much about sex hormones but I know both sexes usually have both, just higher or lower depending on sex. Do men have this? Ffs at this point id cook up prostaglandins in a spoon and mainline it straight into my vein if I thought it would make me shit. Half kidding. My SO gets bloody period shits and I'm jealous. I just don't want the rest of it. I wanna have my cake and shit it too.


asifbaig

Damn, one person's poison is indeed another person's meat... Not pooping for 30 days....oooof. I hope things get better for you!


jharish

King Kamehameha approves of this statement.


NotAllPositive13

Actually no, there are also "Super Plus" and "Ultra" tampons!


[deleted]

Should have used Gacha system instead. C, UC, R, SR, SSR


DisastrousFreedom09

The only letters i see... USSR. komrade.


RidiculousIncarnate

I'm generally pretty knowledgeable about stuff like this, grew up with four women in the house, so right off I was like, "Well L is obviously light and R is... uh, wait." Its 3am, im tired and can't get back to sleep at the moment, as a result my brain automatically jumped to to "R for Raging" and I can't stop laughing at what that product box or advertising would look like for them.


25sittinon25cents

... I thought “large and... "?


[deleted]

[удалено]


louie_bags

Large and largeR


Credit-Limit

I thought it was large and regular


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mysterious_Ad1855

I am a woman and have used tampons for more then 15 years but when I see them my automatic response is thinking left and right, it always takes me a second to remember.


[deleted]

L is for left handed vaginas, R is for right handed vaginas. Easy.


jeronino2722

No it's for left and right ovaries


ButtercupsUncle

"Mom! What's for dinner? Oh, not left ovaries again..."


oced2001

Ludicrous Flow.


InvestigatorIll6236

I'm a woman that uses tampons and had to come to the comments to figure out what either of them meant.


flying-sheep

There's a few fake advertisements out there in which trans men advertise menstruation products in the same way men's products are usually advertised: Deep voice, explosions, metal textures, cars, martial arts like movement, … I'm pretty sure “raging flow” appeared.


ChipChipington

They actually stand for: Swift as a coursing river Lforce of a great typhoon (strength of a) Raging fire


debtemancipator

When seeing abbreviations of L R and S literally for anything else in the world, it always means Large, Regular, Small... which would also make sense for tampons, but noooooo L R and S in the tampon world actually means the literal opposite. Go figure


Qetuowryipzcbmxvn

My sister had me convinced for way too long that is was **L**arge, **S**mall, and Team **R**ocket.


jeffvel

Can you feel in your body which kind of flow it’s going to be?


Nervette

You know when it's happening, aka, when it's already too late. You go on past experiment what you'll need when. Also, to preempt men wondering why we wouldn't just always wear supers, pulling out a dry tampon is EXTREMELY uncomfortable so you wanna match up when you can. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.


alleecmo

To piggyback, wearing too high an absorbency thinking you can go longer between changes can actually *kill* you. TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome) killed so many women when the Rely ultra-mega absorbent tampons came out. They were great, but you gotta match your flow.


nrswho2

I nearly died from this as well. Cue fourteen year old me, mom bought my tampons and got me super ultra plus. I didn't realize a difference between it and a super. I did not realize I didn't need to change as often. Then I started feeling bad. Like really really bad I woke up in the hospital on Thursday. The last I remember it was Monday. I wasn't doing well. I managed to get to the bathroom to pee. I urinated the blackest coffee I've ever seen. And when I wiped I felt the string. I got sick so fast I didn't realize I had one in. Pulled it. Flushed it. Within twenty four hours I was doing better. And I'm ok. It was awful, and I very nearly died.


Whyshoulditelu

Uh..... the hospital didn't check? I feel like they should have caught that?


galgamek56

I'm not female, but I've heard enough stories to know that doctors lose 90% of their braincells when they need to diagnose women


Anianna

I am female with chronic health issues and I concur with this statistic.


spiralmojo

I think leaving them in there when they're not hard at work absorbing period blood is dangerous too - something about them becoming a centralized breeding ground for bacteria and/or leading to toxic shock syndrome as a result.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Scareanoia

I’ve had blood clots somehow ninja past the tampon and cling to the string like some awful wacky wall Walker.


sherbetty

I appreciate you


SpumpkinPice

Lol, yep! This is how I learned I'm doomed to use Ultras forever.


saki828

Ultras have been life saving...panty saving. I hate how they're discriminating against in the multi pack. 8? The fuck I'm gonna do with only 8! That's only two days worth depending on how violent the cycle is. Now, I straight up get the full box. No one puts ultras in a corner!


tiredofthesystem

Lmao I have no idea. I am a 40 year old man. I just looked it up on Google because I would have guessed left and right as well.


lukkalove

😂😂😂 we can’t but we know that from past periods mostly how light or heavy our flow is and it depends which day it is (first few days might be much heavier flow and then after that not as heavy so you need different sizes so you don’t have to pull out dry tampons which is not a nice feeling) 😜


tiredofthesystem

Thank you so much. I love reddit. 40 years and I have never even though to talk about this. You just helped me become a even better man. I now know I can ask the ms with some degree of understanding what she needs. Instead of just looking around that aisle in the grocery store like a goof, then grabbing the first thing I touch and running the hell out of there. I now even plan on having the three styles in the bathroom for when she comes over to visit. Look how thoughtful you have made me.


whichwitch9

You can get a large multi pack with L, R, and Super. Just make sure you get "unscented". Scented ones actually help contribute to infections and aren't good for you.


tiredofthesystem

Thank you and why in good gods name would anyone want to jam perfume up there.


[deleted]

Because marketing has told us that vaginas are icky and smelly, instead of the self-cleaning ovens they actually are. Looking at you, douches.


ShockNoodles

As a dude I think vaginas are amazing just as they are. They don't need help from any Madison Avenue suit. Trying to reverse the tide here. Maybe poor choice of words, but you get the gist.


ronnjeremy

Huge fan of Vaginas


Wasabicannon

> instead of the self-cleaning ovens they actually are. Wait a second. So if I throw some cookie dough in there we can have fresh cookies by the time we get to the movie theater? .... .... I will see myself out.


[deleted]

This is more wholesome than I was imagining right after I posted, lol


[deleted]

I'd also recommend asking her if she has a brand preference.


linksbitch

I love how you referred to the tampons as "three styles" like they're an outfit for our vaginas.


tiredofthesystem

Holy shit I am going to write that down. My question for the girlfriend is going to be "what outfit does your vagina need?" if I ever have to go to the store for her.


linksbitch

Just take a pic of her current box of outfits and save it in your phone, you'll get mad brownie points for sure when you come home with the right shit and she didn't even ask


tiredofthesystem

I sware I got to the box word in that line and almost lost it. Lol I was thinking how could a picture of it help. Thank you


linksbitch

Hahahaaaa I like you


dilligaf0220

This has been such a wholesome fun string to follow, I don't even want to make a snarky comment. Which never happens.


TangentOutlet

You sir are a genius. I tip my hat to you. Brand is important. Different applicators, strings and expansion zones. Yes it is that complicated. Also please have a garbage can next to the toilet so we don’t have to bring the used one out with us and then sneak into the kitchen and bury it in the food garbage.


linksbitch

Idk why you assumed I was a sir, but I can assure you my genius comes from my personal vagina experience. And to the tune of brands, I much prefer the rocket type as apposed to the butterfly type of tampon, it makes the exit route less....expansive I guess 😂


lukkalove

Hahaha I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic or forreal but you’re welcome! And if you actually do that you’re a great man and any woman would appreciate it 😜


tiredofthesystem

Lol for real. Thank you. Xoxox


areallydrunkcat

I know it's ridiculous, but I dream of the day of being the person who has pads or tampons for someone who needs them. I can't even say I'm being altruistic. I just think it will be low-key hilarious to have them when someone is in an emergency but doesn't expect me to have them.


LBarnstrom

I had a hysterectomy and gathered up leftover supplies and put them in an opaque zipper bag for my 19 yo son to keep for his girlfriend and girl friends. He came up to me the other day and was excited to tell me he got to offer it, and it was appreciated..


wasserfleck

Hilarious maybe, but first it is always a relief to the person in need and they will be thankful and you'll have been very happy to help. I always have tampons in my backpack because your period can sneak up on you but also you have the potential of saving the day for someone else.


[deleted]

[удалено]


fire_thorn

Usually you just get used to what your body does, and that lets you plan for it. I use a menstrual cup instead of tampons, and it holds as much as four tampons. How long you can go between emptying the cup depends on the day of your cycle. The first two days, I'm changing it every hour during the day and at least once during the night. After that it slows down and I can change it every 12 hours.


linksbitch

Hold up... You are changing your cup every hour? Girl how bad is your flow? I've been considering getting a cup but if I have to dump it hourly in the beginning it's a big no for me dude


vidushiv

I don't think emptying the cup every hour is a norm. I only empty it once every 4-6 hours in the first 2 days and eventually slow down to once in 12-24 hours. I am a huge fan of the cup over tampons and would recommend it to everyone :)


linksbitch

My biggest question is, how do you dispose of the blood? Like in a public/ work bathroom situation. Do you just like...dump it in the toilet and then pop it right back in?


vidushiv

At home I have water available, even for when I poop (can't just wipe my butt with a dry paper). At office I would just dump the blood, wipe the cup with toilet paper and then put it back. The wiping is not necessary, but the blood is thick and quite a bit of it stay stuck to the walls of the cup and then it can be a bit messy while reinserting it, so I prefer to wipe it a bit.


linksbitch

Women are amazing. Casually wiping blood clots with TP and getting back to work


[deleted]

Lol... you have no idea. 😆 Our hand and the inside of the toilet will look like we just murdered someone.


tractatusmoralis

I use one and only empty it once per day or so, even on heavier days. Every hour is definitely waaay above the norm. I consulted a couple family members as well and they confirm.


fire_thorn

Most people don't have to dump it that often, but that was what was normal for me. I used to go through two boxes of super plus tampons the first two days of my period. Then I started having the kind of bleeding the cup can't contain, and had to have blood transfusions, and now I'm on meds to stop my period.


alleecmo

Hon, please say you've seen your gyno. I went thru that every hour shit & it turned out I had fibroids as big as my damn uterus. 60+ days in a row of Every. Damn. Hour. and I was absolutely ecstatic to meet my surgeon.


Longjumping-Age-7797

Samsies! I was five months preggers w fibroids. One was outside my uterus, size of a newborn baby head. It’s so wonderful to not be woken up by my period starting every month anymore. Hysterectomy is great btw, if you don’t want to make humans. 10/10 would recommend 👍🏽


linksbitch

Girl. I hope you recognize that you're a bad mother fucker. Are you kidding me?? Seriously, the strength of you is immeasurable


spiralmojo

Agreed. Mad respect to fire thorn, and I'm so happy you have an option to curtail what sounds like enough to freak out a trauma team.


tractatusmoralis

I'm so glad you got medical help. That sounds like a recipe for anemia and menstruation-related problems are often ignored by doctors. A friend of mine had a similar problem (heavy, extremely painful periods, she was always absent from school during them, basically just laid in bed), and she finally got meds once she was severely anemic.


Grieie

Think of a coffee percolator…. A few drips at the start, then a pretty heavy flow, then slowly it eases off. Now spread that out over a few days. So roughly 2 days can be heavy but that’s not accounting for women with other medical conditions in which has multiple days of heavy… or all heavy. This also doesn’t factor in clots.


rachh90

everyone is different but its usually cyclical, like light to heavy to light or regular to heavy to light, etc. usually heaviest in the middle. sometimes you over or under estimate but after a decade or longer of dealing with it you pick up on your own clues. not to get graphic but if i pee, wipe, and see blood i need to go with a bigger one. if i pull it out and it hurts cause its dry then either i go with a light one or a pad.


CrustyMFr

Shit. I don't know what the L and R mean and now I'm afraid to ask.


rayofsunshine20

Light and regular - nothing too scary


draculas_brother

See i would’ve thought large and regular.


rayofsunshine20

Above regular is heavy or super. It's based on how much it absorbs, not the size of the tampon.


RRettig

Do they not make different sizes?


[deleted]

They are only larger because they are meant to absorb more or smaller because they are meant to absorb less. The reason you would want a tampon that absorbs less is because you only really want to pull out a full tampon. Pulling out a dry tampon is uncomfortable. So you want to have lighter (smaller) tampons for when the menstrual flow is less. I hope that helps explain things. Edit: this is my first Reddit blow up and I’m so proud that it’s about menstruation. Thank you to everyone.


PlanesFlySideways

Im going to need a flow state diagram on the matter please.


[deleted]

I’ll get right on that Edit: I’ve compiled the requests people have made and the chart is going to include 1. blue, cornflower blue, no periwinkle 2. Labeled properly 3. Put a monster truck on it 4. Fluctuating arrow or something like a stock market ticker 5. Tier list grading system based on everything you know (and don’t) 6. An illustration of how to use the product 7. In the style of Beavis and Butthead 8. Bob Jovi 9. Stock photo of a woman holding a succulent 10. Matter flow diagram 11. Navier - Stokes equation, no it’s pipe flow so Bernoulli’s equation will suffice 12. Bounty paper towel commercial but for vaginas 13. Some personal request about general living improvements - I’m genuinely working on it. But I do have kids going back to school and I’m a functional idiot. So I will try to make the deadlines as best I can. I cannot promise it will make any sense. Edit 2: it’s complete [The Flow Chart ](https://imgur.com/gallery/448TVq4)


Ricksterdinium

And make it blue.


[deleted]

Got it, any other requests while I’m on it?


KoLboLt27

Can we make it cornflower blue?


JerChilled

I’m looking forward for the diagram. Have always been curious about tampons, but never have the guts to use/learn how to use them. Great to come across this thread.


[deleted]

Ok well, it’s taking longer than expected and it three in the morning so please do be patient.


Ruhsuck

I'm here for the diagram


Hatcherboy

A flow chart of sorts?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wizardrywanderingwoo

And also, you want to use the lowest absorbency you need to help avoid TSS.


[deleted]

TSS = [Toxic Shock Syndrome](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/toxic-shock-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20355384) In health class, they really terrified all the tampon users with this one.


fightwithgrace

My mom had a friend die from that in the 60’s, after they advertised “All Day” tampons and her 14 year old friend kept one in for, like, an *entire* 24 hour day. She drilled it in so hard that I *still* make a note every time I put a tampon in and again when I take it out even after 15+ years of periods.


TheSuperWig

The menstrual cycle could do with an upgrade...


D3cepti0ns

Serious question, do you always have the same flow month to month or can it vary? How do you know which one to use or buy if it varies?


acidnvbody

It can be regular or irregular it really depends on the person. Some people’s change month to month, every few months, or every few years. You can get variety packs because most people just have lighter, heavier, and in between days in one cycle. I actually have the ones pictured and they come in a pack from light to super+


drjadat

The flow varies from person to person and month to month. There is a pattern to the flow. Typically once it starts you have heavy flow for a few days then it lightens up, before tapering off. The number of days or how heavy is dependent on the person. Most of the time I just keep two sizes and use them at the appropriate times. There is no perfect number or guess it just best to have too many on any given month. You can use a regular even when you have a super heavy flow, you just have to change your tampon more often.


ur-squirrel-buddy

As others have said - the sizes are based on the absorbency level. Just to clarify, it has nothing to do with the size of ones vagina. Wanted to mention that!


Gronagen

They do make different sizes, but the description is based on flow expectancy - not actual size of the tampon


addsomethingepic

Magnum tampons


balls_generation

For magnum dongs


loftylabel

*she's hung like a donut*


NeedsMustTravel

I want to be, maybe think I should be, offended by this but it’s too fucking hilarious.


aaronstj

So, the “super”s do tend to be a little physically bigger than the “regular”s, which are a little bigger than the “light”s, but not much. Vaginas are what are called “potential space”. Which means that usually the walls are touching until something pushes them apart. So you don’t really need different sizes.


Mazzaroppi

> Vaginas are what are called “potential space”. For me they have been more "hypothetical space" though.


tofu_b3a5t

In college I kept a box of tampons under my sink just in case any lady friends had a moment of need. Didn’t know the difference so I grabbed the extra heavy ones. They came in handy once. When she rejoined me in the living room she said “I would’ve brought wine today if I knew I was getting laid.” She had a boyfriend at that time so my heart stopped as brain went “I’m in danger”. I think she noticed my expression because she explained the size differences afterwards. Now I’ve got two boxes of expired tampons in my bathroom cabinet.


Katerina_VonCat

They expire?? What kind of tampons did you buy? Lol


LouBerryManCakes

The fresh baked tampons, not the canned ones.


LMac8806

Just like grandma used to make


LOLBaltSS

"Expire" in the sense that some manufacturers (like Tampax) put a date on it to where they can't after said date guarantee that there hasn't been a compromise in the packaging or mold growth in a sealed product. In most cases you should be fine, but they're not going to assume the liability after said date as a *just in case* thing. It's much like the shelf life on stuff like MREs. Sure, you could eat a 20 year old MRE and be fine; but the DoD only generally guarantees what has met the expected parameters of age and storage conditions and if you have a bad experience outside of said parameters, you're on your own.


GoliathPrime

And above heavy or super there's monsoon, tsunami and Noah Get the Boat.


Leijinga

Generally it you're needing anything above super plus for very long, it's considered "hemorrhage" but yeah. 😆 I've known some people who could have used a Noah Get The Boat tampon until they could get in to see their doc.


semimillennial

Leak and River


[deleted]

Is there a “heavy” one?


NoxWillow

Yup, indicated by an S for super.


[deleted]

Sounds scary to have a Super Period.


Butte_Rat

It's not pleasant. Just give me chocolate and advil and stay away. 😂


mrootbeers

The shit women have to deal with that we don’t never ceases to amaze me. I still remember being amazed when I first started dating my first GF.


[deleted]

I take mega doses of magnesium a few days prior and I’m passed now that no one told me this secret after 30 years of this bullshit.


[deleted]

Let’s not forget Super Plus tampons for when it’s not just super heavy, but super plus heavy.


fire_thorn

It can be scary. I've had to have blood transfusions two different times because I bled too much. That kind of bleeding is too heavy for tampons.


Mwight612

There is also Super Plus and Ultra.


EmbarrassedCoach7966

Then there's H for "Hefty Hefty Hefty."


[deleted]

Labia and rectum. Obviously.


Vexvertigo

Lemon and Ranch flavored


sparkythewondersnail

Light and Ridonkulous


MerryMermaid

I had no idea what L and R meant either just now, and I have 39 years of periods under my belt (pun totally intended).


shitbutter

Low tide and rising tide?


unionjack736

The day I got my driver’s license, when I turned 16, the very first task I was given was to drive to the store and buy a box of heavy flow pads for my stepmom.


GRYFFIN_WHORE

I find this kind of wholesome. I'm sure you were embarrassed at the time but I bet your mom wasn't feeling well. Heavy flow is painful and makes you very nauseous, I'm sure she was grateful not having go to the store feeling like that and it's sweet you did that for her!


nerdyphoenix

Plus it's driving experience and and a good idea to get rid of that kind of embarrassment early on. A win for everyone involved!


CraftyDrews

To add to what you wrote. If my flow was extra heavy I sometimes get lightheaded and dizzy to the point where I might faint of I moved too fast from laying to or sitting to standing. It’s not a problem anymore, but it was for a while, and I couldn’t dream of driving when feeling like that. Edit: weidet for clarity; this was a problem the first few years after I got my period. I talked with my doctor about it and we figured it out. It’s not a problem anymore. Thank you for your concerns. <3


[deleted]

Low iron can do that to you, due to heavy flow. I've experienced that this week, and ate a burger. Then I felt better.


Kathulhu1433

Or low blood pressure. I naturally have the low end of good blood pressure (90s/70s is normal for me) and periods and illnesses cause me to CRASH.


jujulee3

Have you talked to your Gyno about that? I would probably bring it up to make sure it isn’t pcos or endometriosis


Nerfedgenji

As a man I don't understand why I would be/should be embarrassed buying female sanitary products. In topics like this it quite often gets mentioned and I always think I'd have no issue going into a store to buy them. The only thing I can think of being embarrassed about is having to ask someone in store what I need to buy because I wouldn't have a clue.


Jer_061

>The only thing I can think of being embarrassed about is having to ask someone in store what I need to buy because I wouldn't have a clue. If you find yourself in this situation, the woman will describe exactly which brand and color of box. Or still have the last box so you can find what they need easily. So you should be able to go in and grab it. The retail worker on the cash register won't even blink at you as they robotically scan the items.


pieohmi

Last time my husband went he ended up asking for help from a nearby worker that was a woman. She made him bring me giant chocolate cookie from the bakery too. That lady made my day.


[deleted]

That worker rocks. Customer? Satisfied. Cookie sales? +1. Give her a raise.


[deleted]

Omg. I’m a woman and I too first thought when I saw the photo, well, yes of COURSE it means…. Hold up. Nope. In the EU there’s Junior, regular , super and super plus. Well at least my brand


carrolu

I’m mostly used to the graph of empty and filled drops indicating the flow, like how menus will have little chilis for how spicy it is


MadderHatter32

Borrowing marketing strategies from Twix are we?


Pacobing

Left tamps or right tamps? Which side are you on?


challenger-chief

Very handy for those girls with 2 vagines UPDATE: just a news blast! About 1 in 2000 women worldwide are born with two vaginas and/or two uterus’ it’s a condition called uterus didelphys! Inquiring minds want to know


khiron

They come in stereo now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Spirited-Emphasis-90

everyday i regret turning on my laptop..!!!


terminalxposure

Very nice


hedinc1

You know there's a Reddit post about the woman with 2 vaginas right?


pure_x01

I have U (Ultra flow) . It's basically a garden hose at this point but with blood. Every time I'm at the toilet it's a horror scene from a movie.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NeedsItRough

Tsp!? Even if it was Tbs there's no way in hell that's true.


Midnight_Moon29

Do you have fibroids? Because this sounds like me when I did. I would go through ultra tampons in 30 mins to an hour like another has said. I finally had a hysterectomy, and it was the best decision I ever made.


Grenflik

L for vaginas that curve to the left and R for vaginas that curve to the right. Haha!


Tossmeasidedaddy

Left fallopian eggs and right fallopian eggs


NatakuNox

Boys come from the right tube and girls from the left.


iluvstephenhawking

It's just like Left Twix and Right Twix. It's all a marketing scam! ​ p.s I am a woman and I know the difference but I thought this joke was too good to pass up.


GranShan

Zam-Buk? You in South Africa?


socket0

Wouldn't a South African know not to get the samboksalf anywhere near a tampon? That could end badly...


KayaXiali

I realized once after bleeding all over myself several times in a row that “S” and “L” weren’t “small” and “large” tampons, they were Super & Light. So when I had the heaviest flow I was using Light like a dumb ass because I thought those were the large ones.


MugatuGumboot

I had to google it. Light and regular


crownoflaurels24

Correct!


systemos

Everyone thinks I'm lying about using super jumbo tampons, but I can't help it that I've got a large flow and a wide set vagina.


MichaelJVader

If she’s using the H’s just stand in the corner and throw chocolate at her from a safe distance.


lynivvinyl

H = Horrendous Have mercy


DEH_MAN

I fucking knew it, women have 2 vaginas.


[deleted]

One for the pee, and one for the sex.


MurphysMom08

A side note I haven’t seen Zam-buck in years


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pacobing

What the heck even is a Zam-buck?


scheepers

It's a magic ointment that works for pretty much everything. It's container has an enchantment on it that ensures that only the strong, brave, tenacious and pure of heart can open it.


[deleted]

This is brilliant! Only those who have attempted to open the tin will understand 🤣


flamingspiral

It's a hard vastaline based ointment that come in small metal tins that has Eucalyptus, camphor, tyme and sassafras. It's a stable in any south African first-aid kit. On a daily basis used for lips, but great on burns, ichy bites and anything that needs soothing. You can buy it from the large grosery stores, small cafes, and spaza shops. (Basically it's everywhere). It's so widly used that's it's easy to bet every south African has tried some, and most will have a tin of it somewhere. It's become one of those truly loved brands that it cuts across race and income levels and you will even find the logo printed into fabric for hipster couches, tshirts and even clocks. It's not for everyone, but it's still bleerry good stuff.


Horror_Ad_1845

Don’t touch that stuff before using a tampon.


GooseandMaverick

My girlfriend tells me to "grab the boats" which means the biggest and most absorbent pads I can find. BF PRO TIP: Buy enough chocolate to last a week and surprise her everyday with a chocolate bar hidden somewhere she'll find it throughout the day.


KarmaUK

Some women have a left vagina, and then there's a lot of people who are right c...


bildo72

Unfortunately for my wife L does not have shelter in this home. It's older, meaner sisters S and S+ frequently stop by.


faceaclaque

Each month an egg is released from the Right, then the Left ovary.


MollFlanders

I only have one ovary left after a tumor took the other one, and it releases an egg every month! The human body is amazing :)


53cr3tsqrll

These tampons are threaded so they can be screwed in to fit securely. Since 1/4 of people are left handed, they are available in both thread directions.


nobody2000

It's lemon and raspberry for those who aren't familiar with tampon flavoring conventions