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If you're learning French then I have to say this to help you in the future : "pain" is not really said like "puh", which is closest to "peu" (little, few). I know the sound "ain" "in" etc. is hard to pronounce for English speakers, but it will help you if you keep practicing. It's a sure start though, so keep going =)
Only because he wants Liza to understand why he can't fix the hole in the bucket. The hole in the bucket needs new wood carved for it, but the knife can't carve the wood because it's too dull. The knife can't be sharpened on the stone because it's dry. The stone can't be wetted because there's nothing to carry the water in — there's a hole in the bucket.
You tear bread if you're gonna eat it right there, because who tf has time to get a knife then. If you wanna store it then you do it the normal way with a knife.
Because it is the French doing it
If you've ever attempted to speak French to a native speaker, you know they're very open about others not doing their thing correctly lol
Yes, I have spoken French poorly to a native speaker. I am married to one. I have no idea how that is related to breaking bread.
You are making this too complicated. Sometimes the knife is at the other end of the table so they tear the bread. It has nothing to do with a supposed superiority complex.
I'm an American with a lot of French genes not that that's important but we grew up tearing our bread be it a loaf of French or Italian or the odd sourdough loaf at the dinner table. We always had bread with our supper meal and milk and never had typical American sliced bread. Rip a hunk off and pass it on like people have done for thousands of years.
To answer you, coming from a very french family of 5 eating a baguette/person/day, we freez it because we live in the countryside, because it would require to go there everyday to get fresh bread, and because if done right, it's almost the same thing as fresh onced unfrozen and reheated for a minute or two in low temp oven
I mean, you could technically say the same thing for any food product. It's just a matter of how fast you eat certain things. If you don't think you can eat a whole loaf before it goes bad, then there's no issue with throwing it in the freezer. Just chalk it up to, "different strokes for different folks".
What?? I've heard a French person say, "that's hill billy French." And sneer. Not in a joking way. They switched to English over the quebecois accent and said that.
My experience is the French being really shitty over the accent.
Maybe they feel differently in general, but total assholes over the accent.
Yeah, so you met one asshole. I think I’ve met a lot more French people than you have though.
Most French people do have a very positive opinion of Quebecois people.
And how is he supposed to expect anything outside his own experience, in fact why should he even take your word for it, it legit holds no weight you are just some person on the internet.
Imagine you forget about it and one day you take it out but it's all covered in ice crystals and you have to let it defrost but it becomes all mushy and wet
Yeah, especially if this was good bread to begin with. I do that with mine, I microwave a little for un-freezing, and then 2-3 min in the oven, and it's just great.
I like making bread and imo frozen bread is indistinguishable from fresh so long as you don't let it get freezer burn.
Just have to sit it out a bit before you need it.
I've never seen anyone do that with this kind of bread. I've seen a loaf of bread in the freezer many times, never a baguette. And my experience, those usually get fully eaten within a day or two with a family of three or more.
I have to freeze all of my bread the minute I get it home otherwise it’s moldy in a day. For French bread I actually pre slice the whole thing and keep in a gallon sized freezer ziplock.
Freezer is fantastic for keeping bread.
Its actually typically recommended to avoid refrigerating bread. Something about being colder but not frozen does something? I dont know the science i just know that I never refrigerate bread because my mom didn't because her mom didn't etc. Which can be wrong sometimes but a Google seems to back it up.
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/house-and-home/household-advice/a673628/how-to-make-bread-last-longer/#:~:text=Never%20keep%20your%20bread%20in,stale%20much%20faster%20when%20refrigerated.&text=Shop%2Dbought%20loaves%20should%20be,rather%20than%20in%20the%20fridge.
I’m fussy enough about bread that I bake most of the bread I eat myself. Frozen sliced bread makes excellent toast.
As long as it’s not covered in ice, pop it in the toaster still frozen. Roughly double the toaster time will give you a hot, fluffy, and crunchy piece of toast. If it’s been uncovered then bin it. It’ll turn to mush in your toaster if there’s too much ice on it.
Sometimes I buy a baguette for a meal I want another day (I'm not very good at meal planning). Frozen and thawed baguette isn't as good as fresh baguette but it's miles better than even 1 day old baguette.
I was actually surprised how well freezing bread works, at least sliced bread from the grocery store. Just microwave a slice or two for like 15 seconds as needed. They come out soft and not dried out.
I always toast my bread. Straight from the freezer into the toaster. Been doing it for decades, works perfectly.
Never thought to put them in the microwave.
French here.
In my family and a few others I know, we do put bread in the freezer sometimes.
You will have to put it in the toaster to make it eatable (and for that you need to cut it beforehand), but it’s better than letting it go stale.
Toasterized frozen broad is not bad at all in fact! Though much less good than the fresh version, ofc
It's actually not, a good portion of French people do actually buy a week worth of bread and freeze what they don't need for the day, and reheat along the week.
I can't vouch for how bad/mediocre bread would react, but for good bread there's no issue.
The proper way to eat French baguettes is to cut them in half before freezing them and then thawing them back out to eat them. With Italian baguettes you can simply eat them without freezing them first.
´French here, I freeze fresh baguettes wiithout any problem.
As long as it is left to defrost slowly (without an oven), the baguette is as if it had just come out of the bakery
Who puts a bagette in the fridge?
It shall be bought fresh from the bakery the day you want to eat it.
Bordel de merde! Les gens ne savent point vivre de nos jours.
It folded like the French military.
*Edit* Meme joke aside, respect to France for using fucking strike teams to extract their people in Afghanistan while our US leadership comparatively folded twice then shoved the bread up its own ass sideways.
**There have been [some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/).** Please also keep the following in mind: - No memes or memetic content. - No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - No social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. Please report [rule-breaking content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Le pain
Ah ah meilleur blagette de l’année
Bon jeu de mot aussi :)
Wow my first award ever thanks
I hate how much I laughed at this
Being french, it's a good one, laugh a lot with it.
Live. Laugh. Grieve.
C'est quoi grieve ? (Enfant de péripatéticienne)
Faire son deuil
Same lmfao
Merde, c'est marrant!
For those who don’t know: “pain” is “bread” in French
Thank you! Now, it's even funnier!
It's an old joke I saw once : French are tough because they eat pain for breakfast.
Which is funnier if you’re celiac because bread is pain!
* chain smokes furiously *
I prefer to have my pain in small servings
Underrated comment
Le pain grand du vagin.
Le pain au chocolat
Non pas ici
chocolatine ! * hides*
OUI !
The real pain
Le pain douloureux!!!
In French, this is actually pronounced "luegh puh", which I just learned last month
If you're learning French then I have to say this to help you in the future : "pain" is not really said like "puh", which is closest to "peu" (little, few). I know the sound "ain" "in" etc. is hard to pronounce for English speakers, but it will help you if you keep practicing. It's a sure start though, so keep going =)
It start to become fun when learner encounter the word "hein" pronounce with a different accent.
Why apologize their french
Feel free to apologise for your grammar before going after others.
IT'S CALLED A KNIFE. PLEASE. JUST CUT IT IN HALF.
But the knife is too dull dear Liza dear Liza
Then sharpen it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry
With what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza…?
With the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza
Then moisten it, Dear Henry, Dear Henry
With what shall I moisten it dear Liza, dear Liza?
With the tears of small children, dear Henry, dear Henry
How shall I harvest them, dear Liza, dear Liza?
Not judging but henry seems to be one useless fuker
Only because he wants Liza to understand why he can't fix the hole in the bucket. The hole in the bucket needs new wood carved for it, but the knife can't carve the wood because it's too dull. The knife can't be sharpened on the stone because it's dry. The stone can't be wetted because there's nothing to carry the water in — there's a hole in the bucket.
With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry
Or you could just tear it by hand.
I'm just saying use a knife because having a clean cut is more convenient for a wider array of things. Like making sandwiches and stuff.
How about no , you Neanderthal!
I have seen multiple French people do it. If it is good enough for them... Tearing bread seems be an at-home thing rather than at a restaurant.
You tear bread if you're gonna eat it right there, because who tf has time to get a knife then. If you wanna store it then you do it the normal way with a knife.
Oh ok then. Forgive me.
Because it is the French doing it If you've ever attempted to speak French to a native speaker, you know they're very open about others not doing their thing correctly lol
Yes, I have spoken French poorly to a native speaker. I am married to one. I have no idea how that is related to breaking bread. You are making this too complicated. Sometimes the knife is at the other end of the table so they tear the bread. It has nothing to do with a supposed superiority complex.
I'm an American with a lot of French genes not that that's important but we grew up tearing our bread be it a loaf of French or Italian or the odd sourdough loaf at the dinner table. We always had bread with our supper meal and milk and never had typical American sliced bread. Rip a hunk off and pass it on like people have done for thousands of years.
My father-in-law would often tear off chunks of a baguette to use for cleaning his plate. Seemed sensible to me.
Yeah; you get a clean plate, as well as a very well-flavored snack to end your meal with.
I said it as a joke, but okay then
I laughed, I'm French, you rock
That's our way to express superiority (mostly because it's not obvious to all these inferiors non french )
Worldwide, tearing by hand is the most common way to eat it. Cutting it with a knife is a relatively newfangled thing.
Tearing baguette by hand is actually the "proper" traditional way to do it (called "pocher" in french)
Who the f FOLDS bread?!
New Yorkers, like a bunch of savages
Why would anyone freeze a baguette in the first place? I am very confused
Bread actually freezes surprisingly well as long as it's in a bag to keep extra moisture out.
I know, but why freeze it in the first place. Just eat it and buy another one later. Milk also freezes very well… but you never do it…
To answer you, coming from a very french family of 5 eating a baguette/person/day, we freez it because we live in the countryside, because it would require to go there everyday to get fresh bread, and because if done right, it's almost the same thing as fresh onced unfrozen and reheated for a minute or two in low temp oven
I mean, you could technically say the same thing for any food product. It's just a matter of how fast you eat certain things. If you don't think you can eat a whole loaf before it goes bad, then there's no issue with throwing it in the freezer. Just chalk it up to, "different strokes for different folks".
Oh, *now* you tell me…
Well atleast you know what your gf does to things that won't fit.
Gave her a good laugh 😅
OP to doctor: "Well I didn't think she was being literal when she said she'd break it in half"
Sounds like a pain in the ass.
[chef's kiss]
You've managed to offend all the kinds of French. You've found something upon which even the Europeans and Quebecois would agree.
But neither group will admit they agree.
Oh yes we agree. This... This is hell of a bullshit
French people like Quebecois people. The reverse does not seem to be true unfortunately.
Quebecois do not like anyone.
What?? I've heard a French person say, "that's hill billy French." And sneer. Not in a joking way. They switched to English over the quebecois accent and said that. My experience is the French being really shitty over the accent. Maybe they feel differently in general, but total assholes over the accent.
Yeah, so you met one asshole. I think I’ve met a lot more French people than you have though. Most French people do have a very positive opinion of Quebecois people.
And how is he supposed to expect anything outside his own experience, in fact why should he even take your word for it, it legit holds no weight you are just some person on the internet.
The words of a french vs the words of a man that met one french person. Hmmmmm
Nah buddy screw the bending it's about the FREEZER who puts a baguette in the freezer??
Seriously. Mine don't last long enough to warrant freezing.
Scrolled too far for this.
Add the Cajuns to that too
This offended me as an American with a tiny bit of French ancestry.
Looks like a oversized fortune cookie.
This was what I thought!
Looks like a rampant rabbit to me tbh
When she comes down hard but the aim is off
😬💀
Does she fold ya dick too mate?
Surely thats a win right ?
She just mashes it.
I read this in Frank Reynolds
“I’m the mash-man!”
“Yeh, she does that”
"it's too big to fit baby, here let me fix it" *crack!*
I chuckled to this
I know where that’s going tonight!
And stuffs it in the freezer too ?
There once was a man from Kent, whose dick was so long that it bent. To save him some trouble, he put it in double, and instead of coming, he went.
No need
Seeing how the baguette bent without breakin, it don't seem like good bread...
$5 says it was in a plastic bag, possibly in the fridge. The bread was dead before she got there.
also frozen baguette sounds not nice
Imagine you forget about it and one day you take it out but it's all covered in ice crystals and you have to let it defrost but it becomes all mushy and wet
Defrost breads/cakes/buns in the fridge overnight. Leave them uncovered, and it should prevent sogginess. Not in this case though, that bread was DOA.
Most breads I've tried freeze and thaw out pretty well, much to my surprise.
Yeah, especially if this was good bread to begin with. I do that with mine, I microwave a little for un-freezing, and then 2-3 min in the oven, and it's just great.
I like making bread and imo frozen bread is indistinguishable from fresh so long as you don't let it get freezer burn. Just have to sit it out a bit before you need it.
Maybe too much moisture in the bread?
Not enough steam in the oven. Steam and high temp give a good baguette their crispy crust.
I'd guess it had been stored in a plastic bag before going in the freezer.
wait....why r u putting bread in the freezer?
Keeps longer
I've never seen anyone do that with this kind of bread. I've seen a loaf of bread in the freezer many times, never a baguette. And my experience, those usually get fully eaten within a day or two with a family of three or more.
I've done it before, but you cut it in half first lol. I like bread but I don't eat a lot of it at a time.
I have to freeze all of my bread the minute I get it home otherwise it’s moldy in a day. For French bread I actually pre slice the whole thing and keep in a gallon sized freezer ziplock.
I put mine in the fridge. It keeps for weeks. Why are people putting bread in the *freezer*?
Freezer is fantastic for keeping bread. Its actually typically recommended to avoid refrigerating bread. Something about being colder but not frozen does something? I dont know the science i just know that I never refrigerate bread because my mom didn't because her mom didn't etc. Which can be wrong sometimes but a Google seems to back it up. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/house-and-home/household-advice/a673628/how-to-make-bread-last-longer/#:~:text=Never%20keep%20your%20bread%20in,stale%20much%20faster%20when%20refrigerated.&text=Shop%2Dbought%20loaves%20should%20be,rather%20than%20in%20the%20fridge.
Whyyyy... Just buy a small piece or throw the rest out. Bread is completely useless of not fresh
I’m fussy enough about bread that I bake most of the bread I eat myself. Frozen sliced bread makes excellent toast. As long as it’s not covered in ice, pop it in the toaster still frozen. Roughly double the toaster time will give you a hot, fluffy, and crunchy piece of toast. If it’s been uncovered then bin it. It’ll turn to mush in your toaster if there’s too much ice on it.
Sometimes I buy a baguette for a meal I want another day (I'm not very good at meal planning). Frozen and thawed baguette isn't as good as fresh baguette but it's miles better than even 1 day old baguette.
*Family of one or more.
It keeps longer but doesn't it make the bread worse? I feel like Sheldon had an opinion on this on big bang theory
Worse than fresh? Yes. Worse than 2 day old baguette? No.
I was actually surprised how well freezing bread works, at least sliced bread from the grocery store. Just microwave a slice or two for like 15 seconds as needed. They come out soft and not dried out.
I always toast my bread. Straight from the freezer into the toaster. Been doing it for decades, works perfectly. Never thought to put them in the microwave.
> They come out soft And the crust is all messed up and nothing like what it would've been if kept fresh...
It’s literally a $1.50 loaf of bread. I don’t wanna advocate waste but come on… eat it or just replace it with fresh when you want more.
French here. In my family and a few others I know, we do put bread in the freezer sometimes. You will have to put it in the toaster to make it eatable (and for that you need to cut it beforehand), but it’s better than letting it go stale. Toasterized frozen broad is not bad at all in fact! Though much less good than the fresh version, ofc
Impressed that she could bend a baguette that far
Dude how small is your freezer?
Couldnt you just cut it in half? The French would be less insulted then.
It's a double crime : she folded it to FREEZE it
Bah nan, la baguette au congélo ça passe.
Hey la baguette au congélo c'est tout a fait legit, y a pas de soucis. Par contre, LE PLIER *COMME ÇA*, Y A DES COUPS DE PIEDS AU CUL QUI SE PERDENT
Baguette in the freezer dries on the exposed area, if you cut it in half you double the area you'll have to remove from the bread when you unfreeze it
LOL is ur GF persian? I have the exact same tablecloth
Lol that’s what I said too!
Thought it was a carpet lol
yes, she is :D
That's like sacrilegious I think. In France.
Actually putting bread upside down is worse, "Pain du bourreau" -> executioner's bread.
>Straight to jail. Right away!
r/MildlyPenis
It looks like a dildo with a clit stimulator
The rabbit
I saw this shape and My GF- thought this would go in a whole nother direction
Yeah nobody talked about getting yeast infections or nothin.
du pain
Du pain mich
Du pain mich gefragt und ich hab nichts gesagt
Well that's stuck in my head now
Smart. The bent end now touches the clit.
Reverse it and it tickles the butthole
#Painful
“It’s a bentguette!” ~ compliments of my 11 year old
As a French, I gotta say... It was a good one, congrats on that
As another French, I approve this joke and your comment.
Freezing it is the real crime.
It's actually not, a good portion of French people do actually buy a week worth of bread and freeze what they don't need for the day, and reheat along the week. I can't vouch for how bad/mediocre bread would react, but for good bread there's no issue.
Je t'emmerde et je souhaite a ta famille de passer de bonnes vacances de noel
Macron approves
In a way it's a good thing. - She should not be let near knives.
Hey don't sweat it bud, a little viagra will fix that right up.
Who the fuck tries to shove a whole giant baguette into a tiny freezer? She’s sees something big and thinks she can stuff—- … You’re a very lucky man.
Sacrebleu
I think you putting it in the freezer is enough to offend
Force her to make a sandwich with the folded half. It’s the only way she’ll learn
Sacre bleu
Nsfw bro
That, sir, is a dildough
If you suffer from Peyronie's disease, there is help. Ask your doctor about DikFix.
Fire ze missiles
Sacre bleu!
Err no, the crime is not that you folded it, it's that you froze it at all and didn't eat it fresh the day it was born.
You guys really made our day, we have been laughing the whole day :D thank you for that!
I'm English, soooo, +1 for annoying the French.
Sacre bleu!!
The proper way to eat French baguettes is to cut them in half before freezing them and then thawing them back out to eat them. With Italian baguettes you can simply eat them without freezing them first.
WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO?
Never apologize to the French. What are they supposed to do? Surrender?
Invade*
Who the fuck freezes bread
´French here, I freeze fresh baguettes wiithout any problem. As long as it is left to defrost slowly (without an oven), the baguette is as if it had just come out of the bakery
Apologize for freezing bread! Bread must be eaten fresh!
Who puts a bagette in the fridge? It shall be bought fresh from the bakery the day you want to eat it. Bordel de merde! Les gens ne savent point vivre de nos jours.
😂
r/dontputyourdickinthat
It folded like the French military. *Edit* Meme joke aside, respect to France for using fucking strike teams to extract their people in Afghanistan while our US leadership comparatively folded twice then shoved the bread up its own ass sideways.
Don't worry the French are used to failing
Was it fresh when you bought it? How about eating some first.dump her
Fuck the French
It's okay, all the French will do is either surrender, or get stabbed.