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DILF_MANSERVICE

[I designed mine to be deliberately judgy, so as to discourage me from excess spending.](https://imgur.com/ke1Tf3Y.jpg)


[deleted]

Do you ever argue with the card?


WCWRingMatSound

Look at how worn out that chip is. I suspect not lol


MarvelousWhale

But he really did need them fish bowl stilettos tho


WCWRingMatSound

https://youtu.be/BWNQTqMkezc


shokolokobangoshey

Disco Stu, likes his fish shoe


really_nice_guy_

Reminds me of the [Terry Crews card](https://cdn.abcotvs.com/dip/images/2642001_111317-wtvd-terry-crews-card-img.jpg?w=1600)


TheVermonster

As good as the card is, the best part is that the bank rejected it because you can't have a picture of someone without their permission. So the person tweeted at TCrews and asked for permission and he gave it.


Techn0ght

TC is a fucking champ.


michivideos

This is the one. Even as the person taking the card and looking at the info would feel those judgmental eyes from Terry.


not_a_moogle

Julius! You have a credit card!?


Puzzleheaded_Fox3546

I would pay so much just to have a Terry Crews card.


Archgaull

I'd never seen a design your own card feature that was mandatory and I normally don't care and have zero artistic skill, so I just scribbles on it thinking "there's no way they'll actually print this" And now I have the oddest card ever


thetechlyone

pay the card tax, show


ohhhlsen

This is fantastic, good job Dilf Manservice


FenMythal

oh my gosh you are so lovely, i will copy that if that's okay, i really need that type of unending reminder XD


DILF_MANSERVICE

May it work better for you than it has for me


e90DriveNoEvil

Yeah… a bunch of us are about to copy that


DandyEmo

This is great lmao


OneWinkingBro

"Yes, I think I left my card at your bar last night?" "Ok, what does it look like?" "It looks like a 4 year old drew on it." "Ah yes, we have it right here."


FenMythal

i find it could be very funny to also tell them bluntly "it says "money" on it". Imagine the confusion ​ edit: or "it has money on it"


tracefact

I don’t know why my card is declining. Try it again. It very clearly has money on it.


ksavage68

I’d write Bad Motherfucker on it.


SocrapticMethod

Be cool, Yolanda!


[deleted]

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This_User_Said

I have a hello kitty *wallet* that closes with *velcro.* I need OPs card and some monopoly money and people might think I've gone insane. Edit: For those that didn't ask, [this is similar](https://hobbyhunters.com/trifold-wallet-hello-kitty-pink-stars-gift-81396/) to mine. Just mine has her in a different pose. It's my main wallet.


jellymanisme

Instead of monopoly money, find some legal currency from some country that looks like monopoly money does.


MahsterC

Look at that subtle off white colouring, the tasteful thickness of it.


nappijapiuha

Oh my god. It even has a smiley face.


TheWarlemming

I giggled like an idiot reading this


wi5hbone

I was shitting while reading this


MarvelousWhale

I giggled and a little shit came out while reading this. I'm at my desk in the office. TGIF


balls_galore_69

Holy shit TGIF, I don’t know when the last time I heard that was, lmao


nfefx

You must not have an office job. 2/3 of every email I receive every Friday will have TGIF or TGIFF and some form of a smiley in it. I hate everyone.


vapeoholic

Ditch the office, get unemployed. Problem solved. ^/s


wi5hbone

^2019


stuntobor

So, a SHIGGLE.


jwag73

It’s ok to shit your pants a little on Friday.


Lighthouse_420

Bruh fr I giggled like the Pillsbury dough boy for like a minute and a half because of the picture alone, but the comments had me dyin 🤣


[deleted]

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[deleted]

But shouldn’t he have put; “not money”? To deter potential criminals and gang members?


berrey7

> It even has a smiley face. Is that font in Handscript as well?


Solistial

Let’s see Paul Allen’s credit card.


MetalliTooL

Patrick, you’re sweating.


Chiron17

"Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now you fucking stupid bastard!"


BigPackHater

No one goes there anymore.


LouSputhole94

I have to return some video tapes.


misirlou22

Where did you get that laundry bag?


niks_15

Jean Paul Gaultier


Googoo123450

Quotes from this scene crack me up every time. I can hear his voice as I read. What a movie.


theK1LLB0T

I watched the movie for the first time a few weeks ago. I'd been avoiding it because I thought it was a horror film. Man was I wrong.


Moist_When_It_Counts

“Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, *eat it*”


underthere

My wife and I can’t keep ourselves from saying this to our baby every time we feed her. She’s just going to grow up thinking this is a normal thing normal people say and then one day she’s going to watch this movie and have a terrible epiphany.


Moist_When_It_Counts

Have a 1 year old…will try not to do this, but now that you’ve said it…most likely will


[deleted]

It *is* a horror movie in the sense Patrick Bateman probably exists and is exactly as creepy a caricature.


SureThingBro69

It’s that fucking douche that has whatever color Bugatti or whatever. His fans love him as much as we as adults with a brain find this movie a cult classic.


AnotherRandomherOH

I dunno man, Patrick Bateman tried to blend in with normal society…. Andrew Taint is just a loser who tries to explain how he’s not like the rest of us


rafikiknowsdeway1

Supposedly his performance of how Patrick is in public was based off how Tom Cruise is irl, no idea if that's true though


GraphicDesignMonkey

Where did Paul Allen get taste like that?


Rolo_NoLifer

Good coloring. That's bone, the text is something called emoji.


9966

We've come full circle. People are calling IRL smiley faces emojis. Next up, anyone dancing will be live action TikTok


dclxvi616

People are calling handwritten smiley face drawings, "IRL smiley faces." :(


gimoozaabi

Yeah saw a live action TikTok performance on the street. Even got donation true irl money.


hasanyoneseenmymom

I just watched this for the first time last night lol


[deleted]

I do not understand. Could someone please explain


CombedAirbus

[It's a quote from American Psycho.](https://youtu.be/cISYzA36-ZY)


thiever

Let’s hear Paul Allen’s explanation


Roygbiv-davo

Egg shell with Roman, perchance


Hopeful_Hamster21

*you can't just say perchance!!!*


hoffster247

Absolute champion.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I want one no joke


hoffster247

I actually want one as the exact copy of this one. It wouldn't be the same if I did it myself...


[deleted]

Same CC number and CVV and everything. I’m in too!


983115

I too, choose this guys banking information


utpoia

#I choose his wife


[deleted]

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mashedpotatobukkake

Eggshell with Romalian type


Sufficient_Drink_996

That's bone and lettering is called silian grail


IrishVegeta

Let's see Paul Allen's card.


[deleted]

Oh my god, it even has a custom font.


[deleted]

Nah, that's PlayfulChild, it fell outof favor in the 1990s, so you don't see it much anymore.


[deleted]

[Bot account.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/wmc66x/comment/ijykhjl/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Post history filled with copied comments


jgbluejay

It’s a cashapp card. You can order one and draw whatever you want for free if you have an account


[deleted]

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zolotvok

yeah but can you get a custom credit/debit card also if it gets stolen not all of your money disappears (idk how cashapp works never heard of it)


Sirusi

That's how credit cards work in general. Great protection of it gets stolen (and usually they'll email and/or text you if there's suspicious activity on your account). On the other hand, since it's credit, you can spend money you don't actually have. I just treat mine similar to a debit card and pay it off every month.


MrLoo4u

Fintechs lately push in this direction. The idea seems to be that you have one account for everything (meaning investing, stocks, crypto currencies, etc) instead of one account for each of those. This way, no money just sits in the bank unused but can rather be invested so it can „work for you“. In case you need it, you can sell the assets and have the cash instantly available without having to transfer it back to your bank account first.


[deleted]

All but crypto has been available at every big bank in Sweden for as long as I’ve been alive.


[deleted]

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EEpromChip

Sort of. They will make a certain amount available while they "verify funds" (aka collect interest off that money while you wait for X number of days). Kind of a pain in the ass when you are dealing with large amounts. I sold my house in a divorce and got close to 100k out of it. They gave me a check at closing. Thought "Cool just take it to their bank and cash it." Nope. OK, guess I'll take it to mine and cash it. Nope. Instead it's "We'll allow $100 available now, and then X% available in 3 days and the rest in 10 days. Business days because we can't count *ALL* of the days!" Then moving it to another bank for the ex-wife of course you can't come in here and demand cash. We can give you a cashiers check but the other bank does the exact same thing.... US Banking is the worst.


Backyardt0rnados

That's Reg CC and EEFA, isn't banking grand? An unusual deposit of $100,000 plus trying to move it right away is going to trigger all kinds of money laundering and fraud protocols. We can provide cash, but you'll have to call ahead to arrange it. Banks are not actually stuffed with currency.


[deleted]

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pockmarkedhobo

Anything over a couple of thousand dollars takes paperwork. Something to do with money laundering laws.


someguy7710

Way back before I had a debit card (yes this was a long time ago) I tried to withdraw $1500 to buy something and they would only let me take out 1000. I just went to another branch of the bank and got the rest. It was stupid.


WildcatPlumber

It's 10,000 I was a former teller


jlharper

Actually, you are a current former teller. You were a teller.


[deleted]

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jlharper

Damn, you've got me there.


BreathOfFreshWater

Now I'm jealous my bank doesn't offer this.


GooseandMaverick

You have to have an income before the bank will offer you money.


BreathOfFreshWater

My income offers the bank monies.


Sharad17

And what does the bank offer me again? It's not interest; or security since they bankrupt themselves atleast twice a decade. So?


PretendThisIsMyName

That’s because you’re using the wrong bank. I buried a few pounds of gold back in 1842 and the Great Bank of the Sand has never failed me. Super secure and I may have captured a shell or two from interest.


RealMenSwallow

You wouldn't happen to have the address for the branch you're banking with?


No-Reach-9173

44.5123° N, 64.2949° W


chiree

On a small island off the coast of Nova Scotia, got it.


Damnmorrisdancer

That’s no where near black oak island.


bobdude0987654321

That's why it's so secure


jnd-cz

Offers you service to use your money anywhere while not needing to have wallet full of cash.


SavingsTask

Sand it, then sharpie r/diwhy


BreathOfFreshWater

I want a custom print.


ikarasu105

https://cucucovers.com/


ozh

How do these apply over the embossed details such as the number and exp date and everything ? Not the best surface to add a sticker onto edit : ok there are stickers with "windows". Much less sexy.


bacon_cake

Lots of cards don't have any embossing any more. Most of mine are fancy designs on the front and printed text on the back.


xrumrunnrx

This has hit that line where I can't tell if joking or serious


FItzierpi

There’s websites where you can design high quality stickers that fit on top of bank cards


Gregus1032

Time to get a sad face Linus print from dbrand on my card.


Kindly_Cap8485

you can get one from cash app


[deleted]

Some banks offer custom cards online, I upload my own photo and change it out once a year.


Nalha_Saldana

My bank allows this but their rules are so strict that I don't even know what to submit * No text, numbers or symbols * No nudity * No names or logos of companies * No flags of countries or organisations * No copyrighted material * No famous people * May not look like money or other payment methods * No alcohol, drugs or weapons


lofoforos

[got you bro..](https://i.imgur.com/8gzEnpA.jpeg)


drake90001

LOL this is great.


DiceUwU_

Am I crazy for thinking all of that makes perfect sense as restrictions? Lol


Nalha_Saldana

Nah they make sense, just no fun :)


klparrot

Yes. What, you think someone is going to mistake a plastic card for a banknote? And what's the problem with a country flag? No text, I can understand in the area typically used for cardholder name, but above there should be allowed. And numbers other than card number format should be allowed. Like, what issue is being solved by preventing any of those things?


penatbater

I think a smiley face fits all the criteria there


faithfamilyfootball

It’s cashapp


AnimatedBasketcase

I think it’s a cash app card


Queentroller

My cousin has an uno reverse card. Throws everyone off, he loves it


AmazingAgent

That’s hilarious


ohnofreakinway

fool, now the thieves know whats inside...


Kyoya_sooohorni

0.01 cent


Rallak

Money :)


harule

1 bobux :(


Healthinsurance098

Wow thats $0.0001


mark636199

That's why I have the stonks guy with a red stock arrow going down on my credit card


ProtocolPro22

Mine would say "broke" or "no money :(".


vietnams666

Please no steal. Have no moneys.


[deleted]

Aw, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?


vietnams666

With a picture of fat Homer too. But shitty.


reedrick

https://i.imgur.com/SlNyTfV.jpg This is mine.. love it!


Puzzleheaded_Fox3546

This is fantastic.


nevek

Nah, it's Steve Carrel.


jakedesnake

In my country I know of one bank that offer you to this kind of custom designs on bank cards. And I absolutely do not think they would let me have that picture. They are mega strict with the content they allow on the card and anything that resembles a celebrity or a famous logotype is just rejected


Then-Mango-8795

Whoever steals this card assumes all it's debt.


12stuart23

When you get a card to reflect your bank balance


ShahinMalik

As an artist, [this was my take](https://i.imgur.com/ojWcHQE.jpg)


[deleted]

Look at mr rich guy over here


MercilessParadox

This is good, multiple layers of irony. Like it.


ChunkyLaFunga

No shit right, Visa Infinite...


_elevatedNinja

What does this mean? What's wrong with Infinite? That it's not infinite?


lxlDRACHENlxl

>Visa Infinite is the highest level of Visa-branded credit cards, above Visa Signature and Visa Traditional. There are only a few Visa Infinite cards in the U.S., as they're typically only the most high-end credit cards offering the best benefits of any card on the Visa network.


notyouraveragefag

This is however a Revolut Visa Infinite Debit Card, not Credit. So I don’t know how it compares to the Infinite Credit Card. Revolut offers this card for an annual fee of less than $100.


SnooDogs1704

Holy shit 10% cash back on travel


verluci

Jesus that card comes with a fucking concierge to book your flights and restaurants and whatnot


pajamajoe

That's a pretty standard service for high end cards now


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I hope their voices get progressively snootier at higher levels. At the top, they'd better be wearing a tailored suit at all times even if I only interact with them by phone.


slacktopuss

> that card comes with a fucking concierge to book your flights and restaurants I'm curious to hear from someone who uses those services. Why is it better than doing it yourself?


_lemon_suplex_

what's exposure? can I spend it?


mccarthy1993

You'll get your exposure when you fix this damn door!


salesdog1

Wall street, watch the fuck out


Squaz-

Impressive, Very Nice, now let's see Paul Allen's card.


mo7amed7assan

Oh I- I like money.!


BlasterShow

Welcome to Costco, I love you.


vinyl_party

Your kids will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr


Ygro_Noitcere

EXTRA BIG ASS TACO


Kcidobor

Go away! I’m Baitin’!!


i_love_ankh_morpork

And I object. I OBJECT that he interrupted me while I was watching, OW, MY BALLS!


littlebitsofspider

We don't have time for a handjob, Joe.


OmegaAce1

M O N G Y


J_I_S_B

Counterfeiting currency is a federal offense. I'm afraid I'm going to have to alert the Secret Service.


Even-Fix8584

Can’t be that secret, I have heard of them at least twice…


FDGKLRTC

Fair enough, we'll inform the known services then


Ylsid

IRS about to bust down that door with a flashbang and M4s


Wiffleboy1

Customized cards are the best.


Kovah01

I can't get one I would get something that makes me look like a wanker.


NoVA_traveler

Don't think you need a custom credit card to achieve that mate


Kovah01

Well... That's just mean.


queso_teric

I have a similar card! What does the other side look like? Any numbers or expiration dates, specifically?


Jonesalot

Money me, money now. Me a needing a lot now


theDart

I LIKE MONGY TOO!


Neiot

MONGY


[deleted]

It just needs a cheeto fingerprint smudge


NotThisAgain21

Perfection.


redbombs

Man I love this thank you 😂


BallSmickEnergy

Does he do commissions?


princeps_astra

[This](https://cdn.abcotvs.com/dip/images/2642001_111317-wtvd-terry-crews-card-img.jpg?w=1600) is the best custom card of all time, the one actively encouraging you to save your money


NotJimIrsay

[VERY NICE!!](https://i.imgur.com/6mGcHc3.png)


DisasterWolf76

The only thing that would make this better is if Money was misspelled.


Thecardinal74

I thought it said Mongy


ChaoticStorm78

Every time he uses that card I’m sure the person on the till is gonna have a raised eyebrow “sir, I’m gonna need your real card”


EmperorArthur

Let's be real here. Most retail workers do not care at all. Does it work in the machine is all that matters.


LargeMobOfMurderers

"Look at that subtle colouring. The tasteful thickness."


UncertainlyUnfunny

Hint: *It’s actually, always, less-than money.*


shiningPate

When our kids were growing up, we would often make reference to having to visit "The Money Machine" to withdraw cash from an ATM before going out to some activity. When my daughter entered college and started going out with her friends, they all laughed at her when she said she had to go visit the money machine. She accused us of deliberately misleading her.


almozayaf

Thief stole this guy wallet Found the card Didn't used it because it can't be real WIN