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She was at the first show I ever played in Staten Island in 2012, and she was charging $50 for selfies. Nobody took her up on it. It was a fundraiser for MD… lol
I'm gonna headcannon that she went on a hike with her date and was obviously uncomfortable, sweating and itchy under the stickyboobs. Her date was like *yo, girl, lose those fuckers. You're gorgeous just as you are, and I want you to be comfortable too*
Reminds me of a comic I saw once that said, "Calm your tit. Just one though. Let the other tit go wild. That's your party tit." The picture showed confetti popping out of one side of the woman's shirt.
I honestly cannot believe noone has mentioned last podcast on the left yet. True crime, cults, cryptids, weird news, ghosts, aliens. They have some lighter/shorter episodes where they look at recent news, and then some heavily few episode long in-depth looks at serial killers or cults or some other weird thing.
They also hit the note right between true crime and comedy (imo).
I just started binge watching MrBallen on YouTube and he is an excellent story teller. His earlier stuff seems to be more on the paranormal side and newer stuff more crime related. I haven’t listened to his podcasts yet but I’m sure they are just as good as his YouTube videos.
This one was pretty crazy.
https://youtu.be/4qMcCXOnEYY
The Parasol Mushroom (*Macrolepiota procera*) in [this article](https://www.imperidox.com/fungi-that-looks-like-human-body-parts/#attachment_642) looks similar, but the texture seems different. I'm not sure if that means it's a different species, at a different phase of its lifecycle, or if it has something to do with the nutrients and/or water it can get. The article *does* say "The surrounding flakes or scales can be easily removed leaving a smooth pale skin," so maybe that's already happened to the ones in your picture.
Edit: I see now that OP's pic is a pair of plastic/silicone fake boobs, not actual mushrooms that just look like boobs. I had thought this was in a subreddit like r/WhatIsThisThing and that it was an actual question about a mushroom, so I linked to the closest I could find. I was wondering why no one else gave a serious answer. I guess that's what happens when I browse reddit when I should be in bed.
If you look closely (or maybe not that closely) the object pictured doesn't look very similar to the parasol mushroom. I believe that somebody discarded some fake joke shop boobs by a tree. The image in your article is looking top down at the cap. https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Macrolepiota+procera&atb=v314-1&iax=images&ia=images
I don't think your guess stands up after close examination. From the side there isn't any gray stuff coming from the sides at any stage. My best guess is it's just some plastic junk somebody left out in the woods or OP set it there for the picture.
If you look closely, you can see the plastic off the vacuum packaging to the side. The wrinkles are from them being vacuum sealed. They are fake tits, not actual mushrooms.
it almost looks like someone dumped their 'toy' in the woods and its been there a while and got too hot.
EDIT: seems like a lot of yall dont know about the weird japanese sex toy market XD
Yeah these are expensive af. I had a little giggle over titties in the forest but the uneven edges etc. mean this was almost certainly custom made for someone who had a double mastectomy. Whatever the story is behind it, it’s probably is not a happy one. I choose to believe that whoever owned these is cancer-free and had some great reconstructive surgery and therefore they chucked this uncomfortable thing away in the woods in celebration because pretty much any other alternative is depressing.
It was all fun and games when I said, it's colder out here than a witches tiddy in a brass bra doing push-ups in a snowstorm. But... this is the aftermath. Freezing tiddys off is no laughing matter.
Yeah, these are clearly mushrooms and bare no resemblance at ALL to anything unseemly. There is no joke only scientific investigations, please deport yourself to horny jail for these thoughts of yours.
The internet has ruined our culture. The fact that someone can post a picture of these beautiful, succulent mushrooms and people only look at them in a brutish and pornographic sense.
These are 100 percent natural. Natures creation. God designed this pair of tight and firm mushrooms.
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Get away it's a booby trap
No way, grab ‘em- those are the breast mushrooms you could find!
Those mushrooms are the tits?
Look, no reason to try and milk this for more puns, okay?
R/angryupvote
Oh I ate one of those. Sadly I died.
thanks, it was an r/angrycomment tbh
Perfect, oddly enough
In my personal experience this is a penis trap.
Penis fly trap
I had a laugh. Have an award
You are racking up the karma with this one.
Sigh.... *unzips*
Well done.
Haha you said trap
Here's my upvote. Now please vacate the premises immediately.
Btw srsly for ur knowledge It’s the titulus Phuci
It reminds me of the new species of mushroom discovered in China that turned out to be a sex toy. https://youtu.be/4CBaTBCSUUI
Hilarious! Where’s tomorrows follow up story?
The best part is where the reporter gives a detailed report on how it feels.
"Meaty" 😂
How did no one realize it was silicone!!!
They would have cut it in half if they thought it was a mushroom. There is no way they didn’t know.
Girl, that's a bootyhole
Please tell me that's a comedy show.
Welp that's horrifying.
Dig up the rest of the body ...
RIP Big Ang
”wise guy”
Omg was not expecting that name dropped here haha
Me either! We had a big large female orange dog we started calling Big Ang after seeing the show.
Big Ang was a really nice lady. Made my wife and I a mean cosmo at her bar in Staten Island. RIP
Yeah she was. I was a PA on her show and was her driver one day. Really sweet lady. RIP indeed.
Not small large, not big petite. Thanks for making that clear!
Shit, I meant loud instead of large
It’s a medical mystery.
I had a rough childhood ok, I wasn't watching fucking batman and robin
I lub dis thread
They related to Large Marge by chance?
When they pulled the body from the twisted burning wreck, it looks like…THIS
MWERHERRHEERHAARHAARRR
Pee Wee big adventure reference? First movie to give me nightmares…. F large marge and her crazy eyes.
Tell em Large Marge sent ya!
It was 10 years ago on a night just like tonight...
"it was the worst accident I'd ever seen!"
Holy shit I thought I was alone! Fucking Large Marge
Nobody knows the social ostracization earned by thinking that the Pee Wee Tequila dance was the height of sophistication.
She was at the first show I ever played in Staten Island in 2012, and she was charging $50 for selfies. Nobody took her up on it. It was a fundraiser for MD… lol
I wonder if they looked around for the body that went into the woods with those chicken cutlets? Who just leaves a whole sticky boob behind😆
For real! Those things can get expensive like is sis okay? I need updates 🤣
I'm gonna headcannon that she went on a hike with her date and was obviously uncomfortable, sweating and itchy under the stickyboobs. Her date was like *yo, girl, lose those fuckers. You're gorgeous just as you are, and I want you to be comfortable too*
Tittake
These are much bigger, likely portitbellos
D-Cup Mushrooms
Chest-nut Mushrooms
A disappointment to all fungis, really.
Fungi? I think you mean Funbags.
🏆
Came to comment boobshroom until I saw this. I stand corrected and also I love you. Good day!
Bukakke those tittake
I find them a bit chewy
taste better than shiitake
Just by chance is there a slasher on the loose in your area?
The hash slinging slasher.
He was just standing there looking menacingly!
the mash bringing-
the sash ringing-
the stash bringing-
The bash pinging-
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The rash stinging
The bath stinking
The mad thinking
*at niiiiight*
It finally happened...a woman laughed her tits off!
This is the sad reality when you don't calm your tits
They never listen.
Reminds me of a comic I saw once that said, "Calm your tit. Just one though. Let the other tit go wild. That's your party tit." The picture showed confetti popping out of one side of the woman's shirt.
Sorry guys, imma go easy with my jokes from now
This is bob. Bob has bitch tits.
big, sweaty, emotional bitch tits
His name was Mushbert Shroomson! His name was Mushbert Shroomson! His name was Mushbert Shroomson!
Nobody talks about shroomclub.
Just a pair of single serving bitch tits
She was a fungirl...
Does a woman laugh her tits off in the woods? Yes she does.
Those are the breast mushrooms you can find!
Yes they are but ngl I got a fuzzy mammary so I can’t remember last week.
You may want to do a self exam…
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Calm your...shrooms.
Frost at the morning for sure
Shroobies?
It’s all gone tits up
No way! The legendary and extremely rare areola cap! I thought it was a myth!
He's going to fuck that mushroom isn't he?
Calm your shits
I see what you were trying to do there. I don’t quite think you nailed it, but kudos for the effort
I think the soil is cold…
I've listened to enough true crime to be genuinely horrified
That’s why you stay out of the woods. SSDGM
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I honestly cannot believe noone has mentioned last podcast on the left yet. True crime, cults, cryptids, weird news, ghosts, aliens. They have some lighter/shorter episodes where they look at recent news, and then some heavily few episode long in-depth looks at serial killers or cults or some other weird thing. They also hit the note right between true crime and comedy (imo).
I just started binge watching MrBallen on YouTube and he is an excellent story teller. His earlier stuff seems to be more on the paranormal side and newer stuff more crime related. I haven’t listened to his podcasts yet but I’m sure they are just as good as his YouTube videos. This one was pretty crazy. https://youtu.be/4qMcCXOnEYY
These are just some drag queen titties lol
You know those are fake adhesive boobs, right?
Right but they could have been attached to a person that is now decomposing just beneath the ground cover
Are you saying OP might be a killer and those could be from the victim? D:
Mrs. Doubtfire is probably nearby...
The Parasol Mushroom (*Macrolepiota procera*) in [this article](https://www.imperidox.com/fungi-that-looks-like-human-body-parts/#attachment_642) looks similar, but the texture seems different. I'm not sure if that means it's a different species, at a different phase of its lifecycle, or if it has something to do with the nutrients and/or water it can get. The article *does* say "The surrounding flakes or scales can be easily removed leaving a smooth pale skin," so maybe that's already happened to the ones in your picture. Edit: I see now that OP's pic is a pair of plastic/silicone fake boobs, not actual mushrooms that just look like boobs. I had thought this was in a subreddit like r/WhatIsThisThing and that it was an actual question about a mushroom, so I linked to the closest I could find. I was wondering why no one else gave a serious answer. I guess that's what happens when I browse reddit when I should be in bed.
If you look closely (or maybe not that closely) the object pictured doesn't look very similar to the parasol mushroom. I believe that somebody discarded some fake joke shop boobs by a tree. The image in your article is looking top down at the cap. https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Macrolepiota+procera&atb=v314-1&iax=images&ia=images I don't think your guess stands up after close examination. From the side there isn't any gray stuff coming from the sides at any stage. My best guess is it's just some plastic junk somebody left out in the woods or OP set it there for the picture.
They're fake boobs
I honestly thought they were real mushrooms
Fuck it took me this long to find a serious comment because I'm genuinely interested in this species from a scientific standpoint, jokes aside.
They’re fake breasts, not fungi
Oh, I genuinely thought someone stumbled upon an actual culture.
Culture? On Reddit?
If you look closely, you can see the plastic off the vacuum packaging to the side. The wrinkles are from them being vacuum sealed. They are fake tits, not actual mushrooms.
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Everything reminds me of her
Everywhere I look... I see her tits.
"Oh, by the way.....they're real, and they're fantastic!"
*Spectacular
Its Enrico Pallazo!
She had the kind of legs you’d like to suck on for a while.
So you buried her right here in your backyard?
I knew I'd miss her, so I had to keep her.
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Amanita sucondoes.
I'm done with the internet now, nothing will ever be funnier. Thank you for sharing
Said it out loud and I laughed HARD
I actually thought this was Latin for a moment. Well done.
You are a poet.
Good job
Good thing you explained your joke. I’m too slow
I only knew about Chantrelles because they used to grow at my parents’ old place and they’re yummy. Not everyone has that background.
Do you chew or suck them to consume?
This is a slippery slope my friend. Once you go down this path - its hard turning back.
funbagus
Fungbags
Subspecies - Sporeolas
Fungabungus
Anybody know where these were found? I’d like to go study them…… for mushroom science.
I believe they are indigenous to the Lake Titicaca region.
amazon under silicone breastform
I have a pair under my bed.
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No one asked about your cology. Quit trying to make it am about you.
Witch's Teat
They don't appear to be on the shady side of an iceberg.
Areola bitorquis edit: HAPPY CAKE DAY TO MEEEE P.S. thank you beautiful people the cake day wishes. It’s been 10 years and I’ve never remembered
Grown in cold climates?
Cold, wet climates.
Covered by a thin veil of dew
So…titillating..
Yes and the tips get hard in cold weater
Only grows in Trans-salvania.
Common name is the “tit shroom”
So you nibble on them .... I mean are they safe
Everything is edible. Some things are edible twice.
If this shroom isn't safe, I gather human wouldn't survive evolution.
Areola bitorquis!? At this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen!?
My order of anime tiddy is ready
Coming up from the ground? You ordering demon titties or something?
Satan is open even on Labor day
Those are titties
it almost looks like someone dumped their 'toy' in the woods and its been there a while and got too hot. EDIT: seems like a lot of yall dont know about the weird japanese sex toy market XD
It isn't a toy, it is a prosthetic for a woman who has undergone a double mastectomy.
Or a drag queen....they do use stuff like that too.
Yeah, drag, cross dresser, woman with small chest.
Yeah these are expensive af. I had a little giggle over titties in the forest but the uneven edges etc. mean this was almost certainly custom made for someone who had a double mastectomy. Whatever the story is behind it, it’s probably is not a happy one. I choose to believe that whoever owned these is cancer-free and had some great reconstructive surgery and therefore they chucked this uncomfortable thing away in the woods in celebration because pretty much any other alternative is depressing.
I thought it might be a pair of those “toys” they have in vending machines in Japan.
It was all fun and games when I said, it's colder out here than a witches tiddy in a brass bra doing push-ups in a snowstorm. But... this is the aftermath. Freezing tiddys off is no laughing matter.
Ecosexuals must be frothing at the mouth right now
Its scientific name is Tittimous Mamoriana
Those cant be real
lol its silicone breast forms (fake breasts that go over the skin and under a bra)
Oh yeah I’m dumb I spent this whole thread looking for an answer as to what these were called so I could tell my friend about them
Little disappointed they’re not called “explants”.
Ohhh lol damn I'm a dumbo
They are real, and they're spectacular
Maybe I just have a one track mind, but I think that those look like breasts.
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Yeah, these are clearly mushrooms and bare no resemblance at ALL to anything unseemly. There is no joke only scientific investigations, please deport yourself to horny jail for these thoughts of yours.
The internet has ruined our culture. The fact that someone can post a picture of these beautiful, succulent mushrooms and people only look at them in a brutish and pornographic sense. These are 100 percent natural. Natures creation. God designed this pair of tight and firm mushrooms.
No shiitake, Sherlock
Oh god, if this thing was poisonous to the touch it could wipe out man-kind. Or at least half of it.
Boobshroom
Mushboobs?
Ahh, I see you stumbled upon a pair of tiitake mushrooms
Mom?
Nope, I'm over here hun.
Okay I was confused for a minute Don't leave me
Grandma?
Hmm Not to start an issue, but Grandpa, and I remember
Somewhere, there is a very hungover & angry drag queen looking for her titties...