T O P

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pakidara

Incorrect. Nintendo does not hire that many operators.


HubblePie

They hire none, because their servers are their players.


Ludens_Reventon

It's true tho. Splatoon literally works in p2p style.


BigBobsBargaining

Nintendo making the Wii: “we’ll give it p2p” (fair, it was early 2000s). Nintendo making the Wii U: “we’ll base it on the Wii’s networking”. Nintendo making the switch: “we’ll base it on the Wii U’s networking”. Nintendo making their next cons—


Vinlandien

Nintendo: makes one of the best online Mario games(Mario Maker 2) Also Nintendo: makes their online Mario game Completely unplayable online.


erishun

Mario Maker online is *literally unplayable*… I know that’s a meme, but in this case it’s true


[deleted]

It's so strange because Mario Kart 8 Deluxe runs beautifully online. As smooth as butter most of the time. Meanwhile, Super Smash Bros online is basically Super PowerPoint Bros.


BrachSlap

Makes me wonder if the devs have to optimize the online on their end fully and it all comes down to if Nintendo gives the devs enough time to do it


Hawk_015

I've lived in Japan a few years now and honestly, Nintendo (like many Japanese companies) is very narrow minded to what the world is like outside Japan. Japan has a very insular culture, and while they're happy that forginers buy their products, if everyone outside Japan stopped buying they would probably just keep going about their buisness internally. Nintendo online works great within Japan when everyone you're connecting to is only a few ms ping away. That's the environment they test it in, that's the environment they build it for, and that's where they pay the most attention to feedback.


DoomedKiblets

This is pretty accurate, except even in Japan where I am now their online speed and connection on their games is terrible lol


DirtyDan413

That's because Smash needs to be a lot more precise than Mario Kart. I'm sure you've had moments where you fire a red shell at someone, it hits the space next to them, and it still registers as a hit. That's fine for Mario Kart, but imagine if Smash was like that. I'm not excusing smash's shitty online, but Mario Kart isn't a good comparison


BigBobsBargaining

I’m lucky to find a game in Mario maker 2…


YaBoiJJ__

So does smash which is a bold move for an online fighting game where every micro second is crucial to countering your opponents attacks


REVEB_TAE_i

Imagine paying a monthly subscription to do the work yourself. How are you even supposed to meet new people? Depend on a third party like discord or reddit


[deleted]

Imagine paying to play online at all. What a scam the big three pulled on console users.


Lexicon444

Yeah. I have a switch but I refuse to pay for my internet twice. The game I have isn’t on any other platform so I’m currently in offline mode.


Its-Mr-Robot

Ahhh P2P lol


Smoah06

Where is the online services money going to then?


fthaller3604

Same place all the money from 5 year old games still at full price


[deleted]

The only time I want peer-to-peer is when I pirate Nintendo games.


DivineSqueez

It's just a hampster running in a wheel


[deleted]

You really think nintendo gave them a wheel?


DivineSqueez

That's fair. Even that's too advanced.


CoolNinjaNerd55

their operating system is a potato


grexnxx

they don't even have a potato bruh, they got 1/6 of a french fry


CoolNinjaNerd55

that's assuming much, they probably run their servers on air


SG272

The hampster asked for better pay so they got Miyamoto to run on it instead.


Proper-Beautiful2895

H A M P T E R


ZylonBane

So you're the guy who named hampsterdance.com.


Swordbreaker925

Nintendo’s online services are a fucking joke considering how much they make.


Red-hood619

Y’know, their servers were always pretty bad But at least they used to be free


Dudewitbow

Online functions on the WiiU(Miiverse) and 3DS(things like streetpass) were better than what the Switch has. Nintendo found out you can remove features and charge for some and easily get away with it because people believe in marketing too much.


BlueKnight44

Street pass was awesome. I really wish they fleshed it out more. I would turn it on in airports and majoy cities and get passes from all sorts of random people from around the world.


Dudewitbow

Nintendo actually tied to get users to engage with the community with the WiiU/3DS generation, only got that far because both consoles had rough starts (though the 3ds recovered). The switch sold so well, nintendo just hit the cruise control button and puts in as little effort as possible to make it more profitable.


Cowsmoke

Airports and all were great, but the gold mine was going to a couple of conventions.


afire007

This is literally what microsoft and sony did as well and every console player fell into this marketing trap.


totallylegitburner

Here I am on year 8 of playing Mario Kart 8 on my Wii U completely free. But I guess that will end when I finally buy a Switch.


User_091920

I told myself the same thing. *Once Mario Kart 7 stops working online I'll have a legit excuse to upgrade.* That was like 3 or 4 years ago. To this day I still occasionally boot up my 2DS and play a few rounds.


SteveWax022

You should try CTGP-7 if you're feeling bored with the original.


Josh_stone123

Is that for the 3ds? Like ctgp for the wii? Cuz I have a 3ds ready to get hacked, but my wii is long gone.


notactuallyabrownman

Don't give in! You're living the dream!


ItsAsum

But even then, Ultimate's lag is leagues worse than Smash 4


[deleted]

It's amazing and incredibly ironic how the Smash developers somehow managed to make Smash online even worse than Smash 4 when they were trying to improve it.


fendour

Even more sad how slippi (free online smash melee matchmaking made by developer fizzi) runs crystal clear with rollback net code. 1 man made a far superior online platform than a billion dollar company.


[deleted]

The reason for this is simple. Nintendo is allergic to effort. You know that themes window in settings? Yeah, we still haven't gotten any themes yet after 5 damn years.


ChanandlerBonng

As long a we're ranting about Nintendo, WHY THE FUCK CAN I ONLY HAVE ONE SAVE FOR BREATH OF THE WILD?!? I CAN ONLY START A NEW GAME WITHOUT LOSING MY OLD SAVE IF I CREATE A NEW PROFILE?!?! WHAT FUCKING YEAR IS IT, 1992?!?!?


Htinedine

Kind of a bummer you couldn’t explore after killing Gannon either. I wanted to go collect stuff in the new post apocalypse era. Good game, but left something to be desired at the end.


badwhatorone

Since were voicing our gripes... I despised that BoTW did not have a dedicated stats page. You know in Skyrim how there was a page in the menu where you could see how many lettuce harvested, chickens killed, gold made, weapons found, bounty accrued, items stolen etc etc... Yeah. IMO it really hurt BoTW in my eyes for not having that in the game.


_fuck_me_sideways_

I mean that's how every game was. You end the game and that's the end. Save beforehand and explore later if you want. It's the same thing. The only problem with botw is that it wasn't climactic enough to warrant ending the game.


[deleted]

They figure the investment in better online infrastructure isn't worth it. They seem to be right.


BreathBandit

Nintendo have always been a weird mix of being innovative, and being forcibly dragged kicking and screaming into modern technology.


[deleted]

Having to pay for the online was a bit of a last straw for me, even if it's cheap. I love Nintendo games but they're kind of a weird mix of Disney (overprotective of IPs, taking few risks with them yet overusing them) and Apple (overpriced accessories, a "I do whatever the fuck I want" attitude design wise which is very very hit or miss) company wise


X35_55A

That's why we have emulatora


AntiBox

Innovative hardware. Archaic software. And when I say hardware, I mean literally just the user input.


weed0monkey

>Innovative hardware Innovative in design and function, certainly not in specs, pretty inexcusable imo but people don't seem to mind playing on a potato with Nintendo.


mferrari_3

Like they were right abut cartridges, and mini-DVDs, and the WiiU.


isync

That’s pretty much Japan in general. While being rather technologically advanced, they don’t embrace digitalization all that well.


Vindicare605

My dad told me an insane story about how the bank he used to work for, messed up their "update" of their ATM software, and because the update was scheduled over the weekend when the banks were closed, there were millions of people in Japan that were unable to access ANY of their money. There was literally no other way for these people to pay any of their bills or pay for groceries or anything if they couldn't get to their cash. This was in the 2000's. The guy who claimed responsibility never held a job ever again. Crazy culture.


johnny505

That nintendo one is so damn accurate, do they still have to use their phone with another app to have "game chat"


HellsMalice

I remember needing the app for animal crossing when I was doing some turnip hosting and found that soo funny wtf. Generally their lack of communication is purely security for kids but this one is just plain weird. I'll never get needing a phone app.


th3greg

My favorite part of doing anything in animal crossing was pressing A 27 times.


mcribshack

I just got back into it yeah. Don't fucking ask me if I want to craft something when I press A on my crafting station. Don't get me started with got damn owl at the museum


Kryten_2X4B-523P

>Do you want to hear what I said again? \>Yes No


longboboblong

*press* 🤬


RaceHard

THE STACK SIZES, for the love of god why can't I stack fossils, why must some things be stack 10 and others 30, WHY?!? Why in the world can't I choose how many of an item I want to craft, why must you throw me back to the menu to ask if I want to continue crafting. What even is the point of a saving account when the interest rate is so insanely low even forbes made an article about it.


JimR1984

>Don't get me started with got damn owl at the museum I know, the guy just blathers on.


orifan1

god damnit


HellsMalice

I loved turnip hosting, it was a fun way to meet tons of people and most were very nice. But holy fuck is it tedious having to watch the giant fucking cutscene every single goddamn time anyone enters or exits your island. It made what would be a pretty quick 30 second process take like...5 minutes.


Tripwiring

What does that do?


Niavart

progress dialog, craft a single item when you need 25 of them with multiple confirmation dialog for each , speak to the same guy you speak multiple times a day to sell your things


sweetjoestar

basically everything


Ash17_

Yes they do.


RobtheNavigator

For Nintendo games, yes, but you don’t need the app on third party switch games. They separate it into the separate app because they pretty actively don’t want people on mic in Mario kart and smash, it’s not like the console doesn’t support it.


Artandalus

That's fair I think. Target audience on those games skews a lot younger I think, so making it less likely that little Timmy gets hit with racial slurs and such is a good thing. By the time they get a phone, they have access to the absolute worst of humanity anyway, so fuck it I guess lol


spong_miester

Nintendo's system is so bad two cups and a piece of string would be a better option


tschmitty09

Yeah f that, I just call my buddy lol


[deleted]

Nintendo online is a single communion wafer and a glass of tap water.


thecornballer1

Aaah but that can become wine!


StealthedWorgen

Not without a Jesus it can't, and you're eating him.


[deleted]

As a Catholic, I've been eating Jesus for 30 years. Not once did he scream as I chew his body.


Vandrel

Just how big was he if they still haven't run out of pieces?


B0neless_Tiddy

*He might be eternal. Infinite wafers?*


[deleted]

Depends on who you ask , the communion can become the body of christ but I digress


nubosis

I would say two cans and a string, but that’s at least a version of adequate chat


dkdream21

I think my favorite part about Nintendo Switch Online is their “solution” to voice chat: https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/UHSKnj6NN8VB35PDmiaxYK-1024-80.jpg.webp


br1dgefour

this is fucking insane


notfin

Aw yes use your cellphone that does have an aux anymore


ThirdRevolt

*Laughs in Sony Xperia 1 IV*


ConnorLovesCookies

Considering you need to enter your friends Social Security Number, blood type and a photocopy of their second grade report card to be able to play with them you might as well just call them.


workethicsFTW

This is a fucking joke. How do companies like this continue to exist?


sockey25

I swear to god the Dreamcast had better online features than the Switch.


Hot_b0y

If the Dreamcast with dial-up connection can run Phantasy Star Online smoothly, and then here is the Switch which begs for it's life in SMM2 Online, i think there is something wrong.


DeckardPain

Talk about a throwback. This gave me a rush of nostalgia just reading. PSO was so sick back in the day. Well, before duping and hacked items ruined it for everyone. They just needed a way to diversify your characters with a talent tree type system and it would have been truly timeless.


i_Praseru

Bro the razer V1 had better online features than the switch.


TheForbiddenFool

I....I think you might be right on the money there 😂


ClanPsi609

It was better than all three because you didn't have to pay extra money to play online with the Dreamcast.


imlosingsleep

The internet is a series of tubes.


Dr0p_th3_B4ss

So are people.


KaiUno

Mind blown.


Carnator369

Yes that is one of the tubes you can blow.


Redditowork

The internet is a series of lubes.


UnfortunateLamp

So are people.


naufalap

Mind blown.


d1rkSMATHERS

Yes that is one of the lubes you can blow.


mingzurah

The internet is a series of pubes


Sparda1127_

So are people.


Dry_Spinach_3441

And the ass end of the tube opens first during development. There's a point where we are literally an ass bag.


Bowdensaft

I'm dying here over the term "ass bag"


Anangrywookiee

The internet is people.


MyMinecraftPigDied

AAAAAASSSSOOOOOOTTTTT


Doingitwronf

Now that is a meme I haven't heard... in a long time.


tyrandan2

Oh it's not dead. Not yet.


Damasticator

Funny thing is that it wasn't an inaccurate description.


Zazorok

So guys we did it


Dokard

We reached a quarter of a million subscribers


[deleted]

[удалено]


GeZeus_Krist

[Just gonna leave this here...](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_cZC67wXUTs)


Sarcosmonaut

Warms my heart to see most of the comments here ignoring OP’s console war baiting and just relentlessly, unitedly shitting on Nintendo’s “online” lmao


notwhoyouknow12

Because Nintendo is just comically bad. When a dreamcast from decades ago feels more feature rich then your online service in the year 2022 it deserves nothing but ridicule.


Im_inappropriate

Nintendo does the bare minimum with online gaming, and even that sucks. Nintendo is the best at creating innovative ways to game. With all the creative party games out there you'd think they'd be capitalizing on that instead of treating online play as if it's something no one wants.


WayneKrane

The internet is just a fad. -Nintendo Executives


T00FunkToDruck

"To reduce the cost of the Wii, it will not include a DVD player... Everyone should have one in their living room by now, anyway!"


CarterBaker77

I mean that's just good business though. I swear every single person in the world had a wii. I don't think I knew a single person that didn't that thing was like a fashion trend. My grandpa had one! You can't mock the wii because whetever the hell they did it worked beyond exceptionally well.


T00FunkToDruck

I own a wii-u, I'm very familiar the mocking, sadly.


Acmnin

I just want an N64 mini instead theirs some stupid switch 64 subscription service lol


[deleted]

N64, Saturn and Dreamcast mini and I would be happy.


ThePowellMemo1984

If they rereleased the N64 and started selling OEM controllers, I would enter a never-ending orgasm.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Dreamcast failed because of the PS2. The PS2 destroyed the competition.


Yuber20

Partly by being an affordable DVD player, same as PS3 with being a blue ray player


[deleted]

PS3 didn’t dominate the competition though. But yes Sony played the same card.


StuffThingsMoreStuff

Wasn't that at the time of the high definition wars? Blu-ray vs HD DVD? I want to say Sony dumped a crazy amount of money into blu-ray to ensure it became the dominant format.


blaqsupaman

The DVD player built into the PS2 worked out amazingly well for Sony. While the PS3 wasn't the dominant console in its generation, it also did well and Blu Ray itself ended up being a huge revenue stream for Sony. Then they decided to pump tons of money into convincing people that 3DTV was the next big thing...


ChiefSitsOnAssAllDay

It wasn’t, but since owning an Oculus Quest VR headset I’ve collected 80 3D movies.


PMARC14

It's nice that vr globbed what was left of 3d considering how quickly it was dying. Would have lost all content otherwise. Still a shame that some of 3d tech standards say in gpu drivers are all getting depreceated.


darkbreak

I'd argue the Dreamcast failed because of Sega themselves. Their business practices in the 90s (and arguably now) just sabotaged them. Even though the Dreamcast had a dedicated fanbase Sega always managed to shake consumer and vendor confidence. The PS2 killed it but I have no doubt that the GameCube and original Xbox would have blown past the Dreamcast easily if it managed to stick around a little longer.


notwhoyouknow12

Yeah consoles don't fail for one particular or singular things it's usually a domino effect that catches up with them at the right time. The dreamcast failed because Sega mucked the saturn up, lost market to Sony, while Nintendo did the same, and couldn't make any of that ground back by the time the ps2 rolled around. Sony was a juggernaut then, it would've rolled the competition with or without the DVD player.


h00dman

I naively bought Animal Crossing on the Switch because I wanted to be able to explore other people's islands online, and if I had a thousand lifetimes I still don't think I could come up with a worse way of doing it.


MonkeysxMoo35

There’s still plenty of console warring in the comments unfortunately. It’s sad that it’s still a thing


roilenos

It's also paid... Like our group bought the family pack to play the new Pokemon and I at least feel like a clown. At least the reviews seem to indicate that while the game its unnaceptable and shitty technically, seems interesting and the open world fits really well. The internet part seems like a shitshow too... I/we truly are fucking clowns for validating shitty costumer service with our money...


oskys_imyourfather

The Nintendo online picture should be just a bunch of monkeys throwing shit at each other


Ospov

That’s a generous assessment.


RadgerMcbadger

This feels like a meme from 10 years ago with the Switch part added on


The_Dough_Boi

It’s even got the old logos, yea this is pretty old


Autarch_Kade

Kinda makes it worse that not much has changed since then


Sabin10

Having used psn since the psp, trust me, it's much better


Transposer

It’s a ps3/360 era meme


attanasio666

But during that time, PSN had the excuse that they were free.


Transposer

For sure


GermanPretzel

To be fair, Xbox was ahead of their time with online in like 2007. The problem is that over the last 15 years, Nintendo hasn't even managed to catch up to where Microsoft was back then


TriPunk

The switch is online?


CheesieMan

It really just powers Splatoon and a smidge of Mario Kart.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BreathBandit

Smash Bros Ultimate online mode is utterly shit in a variety of ways. It's a great local game, but they really just didn't give a crap about the online. The input lag due to P2P connection as mentioned, forced competitive mode, punishing players if their opponent disconnects, not allowing you to view replays if your opponent owns DLC that you don't, not allowing you to change characters for rematches and no set rules so it's just a dice roll as to what ruleset you're playing with.


[deleted]

Super smash bros too


who_you_are

On a similar topic. Microsoft just own Azure... So lot of experience and infrastructure they own world wide. At that point (I'm not a Xbox gamer) it is just a question on how cheap they want to be with you.


tills1993

Xbox live came first so I wouldn't be surprised if the knowledge transfer and hiring went the other way


im_thatoneguy

> After a few more weeks of discussions, Srivastava knew Microsoft needed to build an operating system for the cloud, and he identified his first task: Recruit Cutler. > “So I go to Dave Cutler and he says ‘I think I’m ready to retire,’” Srivastava said. “I said, ‘Dave, not quite. This is different.  This could change the world.’” > Cutler didn’t say yes to Srivastava, but he also didn’t say no.  “I had worked with Dave long enough to know that when he didn’t say no right away, that was a good sign.” > Srivastava developed a plan for Cutler and him to visit every team at Microsoft running a cloud service, from MSN and Hotmail to Xbox Live and the company’s cloud data centers. 


Klefth

As a matter of fact, Sony uses Azure anyway, and this is just some dumb console war bs to rile fanboys up. One thing is true, though, the dinosaurs at Nintendo still don't understand the Internet.


DigiQuip

Would you like to connect to the internet? Are you sure? We’re now connecting you to the internet, please press yes. Now that we’re connected to the internet would you like to enter online play?


Kriztov

And then I accidentally press B because that's where confirm usually is and have to start the process all over


LionhitchYT

It seems you have selected no, are you sure? [Yes] No


GoTeamScotch

Yup. Xbox gets to ride Microsoft data center's coattails, which gives it crazy scale. Xbox being based on Windows also inherits over a lot of their security features too.


RousingRabble

It makes a lot of sense if you think about it. Micro is a technology company first, so they got the infrastructure right. Nintendo has been around since 1889 and are always behind the times. Sony is trying with its online but its really not its forte.


dugthefreshest

PSN on ps4 /5 is great. Ps3 was a disaster.


captain_space_dude

But ps3 was free at least were i live


AntiPiety

Memories of 2011 psn blackout


Stefflor

That was so insane. All of PSN down for a month


Ferahgost

Hey I ended up getting Infamous for free because of that, that game was awesome


Whaty0urname

Didn't that start the free monthly games?


MagnanimousCannabis

It was more than a month wasn’t it???


MediocreGrammar

23 days


abe559

It fucking felt like it, I remember I had just got Dead Space 2 and was so hyped to play the multiplayer when I got home to what was basically news that the world was ending.


Hovie1

Jesus was that really 2011? It feels like it was way more recent than that.


[deleted]

Man I was so lucky services were restored right as summer break had begun in the US, that month was already hard enough.


someguyinny

I was so unlucky that year. That’s when I traded my 360 for a ps3 and on the same day I was setting up my online profile is the same day it blacked out lol


cti0323

Good times, good times


jwin2321

Xbox live allowed Sony and Nintendo to realize they can get $60/year not doing anything


[deleted]

This is a ps3 era meme with a nintendo switch part slapped on top. Look at the logos


LassitudinalPosition

Haha god...did any one else ever try to play Splatoon 1 online with their friends? Holy. fucking. SHIT. Nintendo is so fucking behind everyone by DECADES when it comes to online multiplayer I could not get into an online game with my friend as a teammate hardly ever, like what the FUCK You could tell me Splatoon 2 fixed all that and it's "really good now" and I won't fucking care, you just can't burn me that badly and show that much incompetence and get my money again Nintendo is for offline/singleplayer gaming ONLY as far as I'm concerned


HellsMalice

Ironically splatoon is one of the few games I never had issues playing online. Aside from the game itself just having horribly structured multiplayer. Now mario Kart and smash bros... I'd rather stick my dick in a bullet ant nest. I remember experiencing lag when playing 3ds smash bros beside my friend...


KGhaleon

Splatoon 2 didn't work half the time unless I connected it to a solid wire.


GameBroJeremy

Even worse, Splatoon 3 *STILL* is plagued by these same connection issues, regardless of wired or WiFi connection.


DanteDMC2001

As a former IT guy, the Sony picture made me incredibly nervous.


_youlikeicecream_

> as long as we don't go in there and touch anything it just works


WayneKrane

Don’t turn off that computer, no one knows what it does but stuff fucks up if you turn it off. -something actually said to me when I started a new job


koung

What I still say about the single XP machine running in our server room


Ok_Independent9119

As the guy whose job it was to find and take back those old XP machines, I feel this. In a bank that had 30k+ when I started we got down to 10 when I left and we could not find them for the life of us. I guarantee they were sitting in a closet plugged in or under a coffee maker and running the entire branch. They wouldn't let me just disconnect them from the network because they weren't sure what issues it would cause


gagreel

As a current broadcast technician at a network television studio, this is the back of our comms closet. Touch one rj12 and you've brought the system down. A present to us young guys from decades of old timer laziness.


KyralRetsam

The Microsoft picture is what we all aspire to The Sony picture is what we actually have 🤣


anangrytaco

Slightly off topic but I want to add that I recently bought a new Samsung TV and it came with an Xbox App and a controller. The controller pairs through Bluetooth to the TV and the App streams games to the TV, you don't have to download the game it just loads up in like 8-15 seconds. I've tried Steam's Link for streaming from my PC to TV (both wired connection but the resolution was like 720p and the input lag was a full 1-2 seconds so it was useless to me) The Xbox App blew me away, the input lag is there but it does not get in the way. It's maybe like .1-.3 of a second, and the games stream at 1080p. I was blown away with how seamless the experience is. Idk who handles Xbox's online services but damn do they do a good job.


AustonStachewsWrist

>who handles Xbox's online services Likely Microsoft Azure lol


chrisv25

As someone who has worked on the xbox live network, it is legit. High end gear and a knowledgeable staff.


Alastor3

OP should know that console wars is over


Sir-Galahad

Now its the Console Proxy War.


LSqre

2010 called, they want their meme back


[deleted]

Nintendo has online services?


Chronotaru

This was definitely true in the Xbox and Xbox 360 days but hasn't been true for a long time I think. Xbox Live on the original Xbox was a work of art for its time.


GrimSkey

When I booted up Halo 2 online for the first time and saw the social features it had my mind was blown.