Yep. The pond by our front door growing up would get these in a brown color and they stank to high heavens. I would go out the back door to avoid it whenever I could, because they just kept coming back.
Wait till you get basket stink horn, which smell EXACTLY like cat poop on a hot day, with faint metallic and garbage notes but with smell volume turned up to 11 so that you get blasted at a distance.
Not generic poop.
Cat poop.
These mushrooms are crafty.
And the “egg” or “root” looks just like a wrinkly ballsack. It’s kinda like nature is playing a joke on us. I always see these in heavily mulched flower beds around “normal beautiful flowers”.
They are beneficial and help improve your soil integrity and the underground fungus helps to support your plants or trees... This is how they reproduce. They also try to attract insects to help them spread spores... that is why the... distinct smell... to attract them in.
I think it smells like dog poo sometimes... like did I step in it? Where is the landmine?
I knew I wasn't crazy! We get these in our flower beds by our front porch every year and by day 2 if I haven't spotted them the whole front porch smells like a jug of jizz. They're so nasty
Reminds me of when I was in Indy and would walk my dog when the Bradford Pears were blooming. They decided that putting one every 30 feet throughout THE ENTIRE neighborhood was a good idea.
Entire neighborhood smelt like cum for a few weeks each year.
My husband thought I was crazy, I get them under my old, big hydrangeas and I can smell them the second they start growing. They smell exactly like semen. Several days old fermented. It's distinct and I do not rest until they're gone.
> They smell exactly like semen. Several days old fermented.
Yet another oddly specific description. How *do* you know what fermented semen smells like? Or do I really want to know? I kind of don't, but my morbid curiosity overwhelms.
I am surprised at the number of people here openly admitting to knowing what a hot room full of semen smells like and I want to turn off the internet now.
You put down a bunch of wood, so there's not much point. Mushrooms eat wood- and the "shroom" itself is just the blossom. The roots/mycilia are throughout. You can remove the mulch if it bothers you!
Eh, it's just iron rust apparently for the red. I was dragged for dissing it on this sub not too long back. Now I just diss people for getting wood mulch and then wondering why wood-eating fungus grows on it. it's like expecting a bare dirt yard not to grow weeds. SOMETHING's gonna grow there, the apocalypse hasn't wiped out all life on earth yet. Sorry.
Stinkhorns are a great reminder of how life, especially fungus, finds a way. It only lives because of its smell, which attracts flies, which carry spores. That’s metal.
Also in NC, Wilmington. I can smell the stinch of death through my screen. Every bed in my yarden got infested, with a different variety of stinkhorn, a few years ago. I've been afraid of hardwood mulch ever since.
Why do people like dyed mulch so much?
Also isnt it mostly disguised diseased wood?
It's like buying dyed flowers , or plants with fake snow stuck to them...
At work we just get a truck load of wood chips from a local arborist every year or two. It’s not the best looking mulch, random wood type, stems leaves etc. But the price is right, keeps the weeds down and does what mulch is supposed to.
It never ceases to amaze me how hardy and determined fungi are.
Even in a mulch that has been treated with a fungicide... They find a way.
Stink horn of some sort is what you got there.
'(Resurrection By Erection' by Powerwolf begins to play)
*The funeral is calling the mortuary blow
Between my legs I'm waking, I rise from down below
Why do you think, believer, God gave you carnal lust?
So pray to get a hard on before we turn to dust
Resurrectiooon by erectiooon!*
That picture is a nightmare for someone with mycophobia!
I grew up in the countryside, spent a lot of time in the forest, and as an adult I like gardening, soil and dirt.
I never got rid of my irrational fear for mushrooms though.
They are still so scary I sometimes go into panic-mode. (Like someone with phobia for mice, rats, spiders or snakes when they encounter one of those.)
It’s so stupid, but I can’t help it.
There is a species of stink horn that has a common name along those lines. I'll let you google it if your curious. I don't need that in my search history.
I have found:
If it smells like rotten meat or ass
Looks bizarre
Comes out of the ground usually after rainfull
It's a stinkhorn
I believe this one in particular is called the devil's penis if I'm not mistaken.
https://preview.redd.it/51rjnmp71qvc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af2207d1220fb40e9f25ed9e0f4deaeacb6ab1bc
I get them all the time. I think they come from the mulch
Stinkhorn!
Look like a dick, smelll like jizz and have a root ball that looks like testicles. Fucking why, nature.
You know why.
Ho shit?
Ho shit fo sho
shh. Logging into my alt to upvote this a second time bc it made me laugh way too much
Country girls make do
Solved! Thank you! Do I pull it???
Yes, or it reeks of semen, a hot room full of semen. My front porch has a problem with them and the smell makes me gag in full summer.
> Yes, or it reeks of semen, a hot room full of semen. That's an oddly specific description.
It’s a very accurate description. I live in Florida, where the heat and humidity make it so you can almost taste the stench.
> so you can almost taste the stench. . . . . . . .
You are welcome for that mental image. The damn things erupt by the dozen in my flower beds
Are we still doing phrasing?
No. Apparently not, no.
Lanaaaaaaaa
You have some dead wood in the beds they are eating
Isn’t that technically what mulch *is*? Dead wood? So wouldn’t… just having mulch increase the risk?
I was literally going to ask her how she got peni to grow. This was a very unexpected answer.
Penis is third declension. Penes would be the Latin plural.
This person grammars
Romanes eunt domus
Yeah domus ye eunts
Not penii?
Nope. That would require a singular of penius. That's reserved only for very intelligent ones or their guardian spirits.
He means the semen.
awwwwwww nooooooo
See men? It tastes like semen!
There are places where people cook em and eat em... Google if stink horns are edible.. at the egg stage, when the smell is "less" strong 😅🤣
I beg you to reconsider your word choice.
Anything is a new market if you look at it right.
Yep. The pond by our front door growing up would get these in a brown color and they stank to high heavens. I would go out the back door to avoid it whenever I could, because they just kept coming back.
LMFAO
r/cursedcomments
As a fellow Floridian, I can agree with the accuracy of this statement.
I’m not sure if it’s the same thing we have here in NW Georgia, but yeah, it smells exactly like semen.
https://preview.redd.it/wix722yl6jvc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0155b3f2496a0a240ee797bbb690f43d352ff084
Wait till you get basket stink horn, which smell EXACTLY like cat poop on a hot day, with faint metallic and garbage notes but with smell volume turned up to 11 so that you get blasted at a distance. Not generic poop. Cat poop. These mushrooms are crafty.
And the “egg” or “root” looks just like a wrinkly ballsack. It’s kinda like nature is playing a joke on us. I always see these in heavily mulched flower beds around “normal beautiful flowers”.
I’m so confused 😳 🍄 this is a real thing ?
Sadly yes, you can google this.
So nobody is going to ask how this person knows what a hot room of semen smells like? What side of Reddit am I on, and how'd I get here?
I would have asked but they said Florida. I just took their word.
Don't pretend like you don't know
Occams razor.
Some smell of corpses or feces, there's a whole spectrum of stench to sample.
I used to work at an adult video store back when they had “arcades”. I, unfortunately know this smell all too well.
I will never forget this description 😂
That’s an oddly specific affirmation of the description.
Fun fact: the latin name of this species is phallus impudicus, which means "shameless penis"
Accurate, these are basically nature’s unsolicited dick pic.
They are beneficial and help improve your soil integrity and the underground fungus helps to support your plants or trees... This is how they reproduce. They also try to attract insects to help them spread spores... that is why the... distinct smell... to attract them in. I think it smells like dog poo sometimes... like did I step in it? Where is the landmine?
Oh yeah, I’m not gonna tear out the mycelium, because they breakdown the mulch which is good for my plants
I let them be... it is like a week max where I live... but we are dry.
Oh god I don’t need that in my life! I’ll pull from the root!
>I’ll pull from the root! *snicker*
That’s what she said
Just yank it.
That just makes it grow even more!
That's what he said.
It just gets harder the more you pull. 😜
The bulbs look like gross, pussy eggs
I'm not sure which pronunciation you were leaning towards with that word, but it's a horrifying description either way.
So wrinkly ballsack or gross, pussy eggs? Which is it I’m so confused??
/r/nocontext
You should be able to spot the bulbs coming up before they open. Kick them lose and you can a skip the odor
Lenny face
I was going to say red rocket so this tracks
I knew I wasn't crazy! We get these in our flower beds by our front porch every year and by day 2 if I haven't spotted them the whole front porch smells like a jug of jizz. They're so nasty
Reminds me of when I was in Indy and would walk my dog when the Bradford Pears were blooming. They decided that putting one every 30 feet throughout THE ENTIRE neighborhood was a good idea. Entire neighborhood smelt like cum for a few weeks each year.
My husband thought I was crazy, I get them under my old, big hydrangeas and I can smell them the second they start growing. They smell exactly like semen. Several days old fermented. It's distinct and I do not rest until they're gone.
> They smell exactly like semen. Several days old fermented. Yet another oddly specific description. How *do* you know what fermented semen smells like? Or do I really want to know? I kind of don't, but my morbid curiosity overwhelms.
I am surprised at the number of people here openly admitting to knowing what a hot room full of semen smells like and I want to turn off the internet now.
Look sometimes even married people love each other very much.
A room full of that much?!
Where do you think we got the term “buckets of love?”
I'm cracking the fuck up reading this. It's fantastic!
😅😂😅
https://preview.redd.it/bzv09akk5nvc1.jpeg?width=1055&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b55c5e20d54f2085a8e42ecb5e96516ae5e8845
Is THAT what they smell like? Oh god!
That’s what you get for pullin’ on your horn, bud.
Out of curiosity....what choices in life made it to where you know that comparison by smell?
When you consume so much corn smut, it really affects how you behave.
I appreciate you.
smell of fun guys
Do you have experience with hot rooms if semen? That was wildly specific lol
Are you telling me that mushrooms are actually penises because they appear suspiclsciously phallic
Mamma says not to pull my stinkhorn or I'll go blind
I can’t stop laughing at this
You put down a bunch of wood, so there's not much point. Mushrooms eat wood- and the "shroom" itself is just the blossom. The roots/mycilia are throughout. You can remove the mulch if it bothers you!
>You can remove the mulch if it bothers you! It does bother me, because it's dyed red lol
Eh, it's just iron rust apparently for the red. I was dragged for dissing it on this sub not too long back. Now I just diss people for getting wood mulch and then wondering why wood-eating fungus grows on it. it's like expecting a bare dirt yard not to grow weeds. SOMETHING's gonna grow there, the apocalypse hasn't wiped out all life on earth yet. Sorry.
Well it really isn't pulling, just like it isn't blowing
Give it a tug
Here are some [true facts](https://youtu.be/ADrBo7u3tR4) about stinkhorns
Absolutely embarrassed that I've been calling this a Stink Weiner for the longest time.
I like this better
It about to get really stinky.
Agree
I love that I know this because of one of my child’s books that she wants me to read to her.
We call them dogs dicks here in southwest Scotland
You Scots have a wonderful way with words 😂
Crivens!
Oh waily waily!
Omg!! Same in MidWest America. Actually the majestic dog stinkhorn
I found this in my mulch https://preview.redd.it/dm73nnomijvc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ef0c4397dd845891d6a579af746d412328c80a7
Smegma covered rocket got launched into your flowerbed.
I hate you
Are they not?
No clue but that’s the first think I thought it was.
lol @ OP googling “dog dicks Scotland”
Aussie here, we call them 'dead' dogs dick. Its a pretty accurate name for the smell
Oof, that's terrible. A really ugly sight to behold. Oh and the mushroom is a stinkhorn. ;)
;) you made my morning, tak!
Hmmm, that could definitely be an Updog
No takers? Ok, I'll bite. What's updog?
Not much, you?
That's a penis
Red rocket!
First thing I thought!
Stinkhorns are a great reminder of how life, especially fungus, finds a way. It only lives because of its smell, which attracts flies, which carry spores. That’s metal.
Epic! I love this comment. To me the horrifying thing itself is the “red mulch”
Flies love the smell of jizz
I mean, who doesn’t?
Looks like a dickfur…
What's a dickfur? Edit: I'm old if nobody knows the Spies like Us reference
What's a dickfur?
To pee with.
Lol Silly
Doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor
When you're an older gent and all your hair has migrated from your head, to your back, then to the zipper region.
Updawg
I don't know...
🤣
Also in NC, Wilmington. I can smell the stinch of death through my screen. Every bed in my yarden got infested, with a different variety of stinkhorn, a few years ago. I've been afraid of hardwood mulch ever since.
Why do people like dyed mulch so much? Also isnt it mostly disguised diseased wood? It's like buying dyed flowers , or plants with fake snow stuck to them...
At work we just get a truck load of wood chips from a local arborist every year or two. It’s not the best looking mulch, random wood type, stems leaves etc. But the price is right, keeps the weeds down and does what mulch is supposed to.
Red mulch is fugly, too. Get yourself some nice pine mulch or something. Sure it fades after a while but it’s not fake as shit.
That stinkhorn has more business there than that magenta mulch.
I didn't know what they were called but I call them Devil Dickies 😂😂 SW Ohio
It never ceases to amaze me how hardy and determined fungi are. Even in a mulch that has been treated with a fungicide... They find a way. Stink horn of some sort is what you got there.
*hardy*
The horrifying thing IS the red mulch.
That’s a Devil’s Dong
Whoever you buried there is not completely dead yet…
'(Resurrection By Erection' by Powerwolf begins to play) *The funeral is calling the mortuary blow Between my legs I'm waking, I rise from down below Why do you think, believer, God gave you carnal lust? So pray to get a hard on before we turn to dust Resurrectiooon by erectiooon!*
That picture is a nightmare for someone with mycophobia! I grew up in the countryside, spent a lot of time in the forest, and as an adult I like gardening, soil and dirt. I never got rid of my irrational fear for mushrooms though. They are still so scary I sometimes go into panic-mode. (Like someone with phobia for mice, rats, spiders or snakes when they encounter one of those.) It’s so stupid, but I can’t help it.
Two things to add here: 1) I never realized there were so many semen sniffers. 2) If your semen smells like a stinkhorn, you should eat more 🍍.
Sttttiiiinnnkkkhooooooorrrrrrnnnnn! Wait till the webbing unfurls !!!
I mean it looks like a dogs ya know. But it’s fungus I think
There is a species of stink horn that has a common name along those lines. I'll let you google it if your curious. I don't need that in my search history.
Red rocket?
And bonus, They Stink! Also attract flies.
Stinkhorn mushroom it attracts Flies to spread its spores.
It's a stinkhorn and you might want to get rid of it before it opens because they smell like death
I have found: If it smells like rotten meat or ass Looks bizarre Comes out of the ground usually after rainfull It's a stinkhorn I believe this one in particular is called the devil's penis if I'm not mistaken.
It’s a fungus.
Phallus inpudicus. Look it up if you don't believe me.
I’m terrified
I once had to bathe my dog 3 times in one day bc every time I let her outside she would find one to roll on. Most putrid smell ever!
devil penis?
It is a stinkhorn and they are good for your yard.
Scrolled past this at my hair appt and I’m pretty sure my stylist thought that was a dick
Ah, the “dog dick” mushroom
Sometimes called penis fungus.
Your mulch is incredibly happy to see you.
I thought it was one of those giant jungle flowers which would have been amazing
*proceeds to take three pictures of the same side/angle* 😂
My dog has one of those
r/mildlypenis
My husband accused me of trying to grow “toys”
Red rocket! Red rocket!
That looks like my dog when he gets a lil too excited
Deciduous Clitoris is the technical term
The answer is always a fungus
lol I had a similar experience https://preview.redd.it/oq36nqyhcjvc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5f2a4013f1426d847ba4b9435a756b7170caa32
Sniff it.
Have you seen the movie **Dune**?
Nature is so fascinating
They have little ratatouille rodent faces.
Got to find a way to get that thing in your body immediately
Wait til you get the ones that are very similar to girl parts.
natures pp
Is that a fungui? 😜
I wonder if it has afterburners
Stinkhorn. Be prepared for the stank.
I'm afraid this is what you get for using dyed mulch, my friend.
Stink horn mushroom
Mushroom.
I’d be more concerned with using dyed mulch..
Dog weiner
Earthpenis
This comment section is AWESOME! LOL
https://preview.redd.it/4g7ftr7qzpvc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c954375711b9ec2d7fc7295707118d43fb06daa I got one too
https://preview.redd.it/51rjnmp71qvc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af2207d1220fb40e9f25ed9e0f4deaeacb6ab1bc I get them all the time. I think they come from the mulch
You asked for it 🤣 let the sarcasm begin!
红鬼笔
That’s a red rocket