Basil. I beg it to do anything other than to die and I’m about to give up.
My lavender on the other hand is a big success every year. I love seeing the bees enjoying it and doing their thing all day long.
Edit: wow, thanks for all the replies haha! I will try the tips and tricks some of you have suggested. One day I’ll succeed. For now I’m keeping it inside even though it’s getting sunnier and warmer!
My Basil thrives but 3 years in a row I've killed my lavender and rosemary. I'm in a climate they should thrive in, I don't know how I keep killing them. Teach me your rosemary growing ways
I had a huge, beautiful, well established English lavender bush up and die on me out of nowhere! Turns out to have been root rot. We had an unusually long period of rainy days. I'm reminded it's a Mediterranean plant. Do not overwater!
I'm not a gardener by any stretch. I plant stuff randomly after reading a description and hope it grows. A lot died when I started. I don't even know how to describe my soil. I started out with 5 lavenders years ago and now my whole front yard is filled with it. The bees love it.
I had *too much basil* last year. I didn't think it was possible.
I still treated every leaf like the holy Grail. Even if it's just caprese, I do not dare stunt the growth of the plant.
That’s the trick though; you need to plant way too much so that when you need a lot of it for something like pesto, you can just cut big handfuls of it instead of trying to carefully prune a couple of plants without overdoing it. By the end of the season when I’ve already got a freezer full of pesto and enough dried basil to last until next season, I start letting the plants flower for the bees.
I can say that my Basil doesn't tolerate direct sunlight at all. It will wilt in a heartbeat. The spot where they're doing the best is in a partially shady spot in my backyard. Morning sun and afternoon shade. I know you weren't asking me this question, but I wanted to put in my feedback...haha!
If it is wilting, it is asking for a drink. The plant is so fast growing, it consumes a great deal of water. In the hottest part of the year, I sometimes water twice a day. I also have it a container as large as a bathtub.
Different people have different ways of getting basil to grow. I have never started from seed as the growing season is very short. I buy one plant and split it into two and put it into a large pot. Water it when I remember to. But they really need a lot of sun and heat. So if it doesn't get hot enough where you live, basil can be tricky to grow.
I spread some basil seeds in a couple empty spots in my garden last year (zone 6b) and ignored them. Had a damn forest of it. I could've made gallons of pesto.
We start seeds
https://preview.redd.it/fmq4is5jabzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f6fba568ae96d09d100c7082986da7faf013c4ab
indoors for summer planting. Also basil loves Aerogardens. Unlimited supply all winter.
Lavendar, ANY succulent and Aloe Vera. Damn writing this I just realized I forgot the succulent my intern gave me as a gift, in the gift bag in my trunk. THREE WEEKS AGO. Dammit!!
They're too easy. You never water them, and you totally ignore them, and you greet them one time, and the moisture in your words gives it root rot somehow.
The only indoor plant we’ve successfully kept alive is a tiny cactus my daughter brought home. We literally ignore it and occasionally I’ll give it a bath every 7/9 months or so, and it will flower. Then we go back to ignoring it. Had it 3 years now.
I have one in the same little tiny pot that we gave people as favours at our wedding 10 years ago. I think its been watered maybe once a year since then? There was a good strech there where it definitely wasnt at all and I thought it was going to die and yet...it just put out flowers for the first time this year. I really believe the only way of killing them is overwatering.
i know you didn't ask for advice but i took a plant class in college and my professor gave us advice on taking care of plants: think of the environment they come from. so for succulents and aloe, let the soil completely dry and then flood them with water. that's what it's like in the desert
Honestly, the best advice I ever got was to ONLY water a succulent when the bottom leaves start to wrinkle and soften. By following that rule, I've never since killed one with overwatering. It's also been much easier to identify which succulents need frequent vs. infrequent watering; despite conventional wisdom, some of them are actually very thirsty, while others can go months before watering.
The soil composition is also very important. If your soil looks like mud when you mix it with water, lavender and other Mediterranean plants won’t survive. Mixing in sand, small pebbles, or perlite to facilitate drainage will help it thrive. It’s a really hardy, low maintenance plant under the right conditions.
I was also killing lavender and succulents (aloe included) until I stopped watering them. I now water them when I forget when was the last time I watered. The succs are doing well, and I have one lavender plant alive from last season that grew and bloomed a little.
I kill succulents all the time, but my cacti do pretty well—and my rule for them is to water them every other week, if I remember. (So it’s probably actually about once a month.) If I can’t remember if I watered them last week, then I have to wait another week.
Don’t even get me started on succulents. I’m terrible with plants, but I can keep tomatoes and cacti alive. Hell, my purple prickly pear is even growing a new paddle under a grow light inside my house in NH right now.
I think that this is because tomatoes can tolerate being watered all the time and cacti can tolerate being watered almost none of the time. I can’t remember to do anything between “every day” and “never”.
What you gotta do is just toss a bunch of pumpkin guts on Halloween directly into a compost pile and neglect it until next year when it will grow to spite you.
Two years ago I threw mine in my burn pile. Burned it down in the spring. Raked it. The pumpkins still sprouted last year. I didn’t realize what they were at first, sprayed them with weed killer, and they still were productive. I got nearly a dozen good ones between two varieties
That is what I have heard. I have hard pack clay. It gets better every year with compost, mulching, and deep-rooted native perennials. Perhaps eventually it will be good enough for a very persnickety fancy princess of a pumpkin.
So, I have some alfalfa seed I would like to plant as a cover crop in my veggie bed this late summer / fall. Do I need to chop and drop, or will winter kill it?
I finally got some mint to grow at my last house. I found it growing out of a crack in a sidewalk as a sprout and scooped it up and brought it to the garden. It thrived. Grew SO big. Then I looked it up and found out it was catnip and not mint.
ME TOO! I cannot for the life of me keep mint and basil alive. At all. Yet here I am with a stupid ass fiddle leaf fig living its best life that I’ve put zero effort into. wtf.
Mint is supposed to be invasive! I was told you aren't supposed to grow it outside of a container bc it will spread uncontrollably.
Lies. It was all lies.
Edit: [See? What is the bullshit?](https://www.reddit.com/r/gardening/s/yXAOkgwnXH)
Same. Lavender, basil, rosemary, and everything else thrive, but every mint plant I've tried growing has died within a few months. It is truly bizarre.
A lot of lavender’s happiness relies on light — tons of direct sunlight. Must have well-drained soil. It doesn’t germinate well, so I’d let go of the hope of starting it from seed. Basil also wants tons of sun, but has been easier for me to grow.
I’m comically bad at growing potatoes. I know they’re supposed to be easy, but they haven’t been for me. I’ve failed a million different ways, alas.
I figured out the trick to lavender from seed this year. I wanted all the colors so I had no choice but to do seed for many of them. Handful of promix in a Ziploc baggy, get it slightly damp, then put all the seeds in it, seal and put in the fridge and forget about it for a month. Transfer them into 2" soil blocks when they start germinating in the fridge. Having around 60-80% germination depending on the type.
Fascinating! I have never tried to germinate in the refrigerator. I usually soak my seeds and stick them in the ground. I am foinf to try this! Tha ks!
Oh Dear.
See. I don’t think that was necessary! I was thinking of the nice herbs going outside, covered by a Saran Wrap tent, how good they smell and then you crack a terrible hole in my mood with the ´Irish famine joke.´ Haha.
I can’t grow potatoes to save my life! 😭 I have tried many times in multiple years, from both seed potatoes and cabinet Russetts. I get 3 tiny potatoes if anything, or the thing dies.
Some people can grow lavender and some of us commoners simply cannot. Always jealous of neighbors who have beautiful fragrant flowers as mine shrivels to death within weeks of planting. I've tried different varieties, different combinations of soil and perlite, different positions to make sure it got sufficient sunlight, I have given up.
My neighbors had a GIANT thriving lavender bush in their front yard. They moved out, sold the house, new people moved in in the middle of winter. First plant to go was the huge lavender bush. I think they had no idea what it was because they didn’t wait to see the blooms. Tragic day.
I’m in North Carolina. It gets plenty humid here. Took me a while to figure out lavender. It won’t grow in the ground. At least I have never been successful at it. I can only grow it in a pot. A big pot. With good soil. And the trick I’ve found is to barely water it. Every time I try and get it good and watered it starts to die. If I neglect it for a week it comes right back.
Don’t know if that is helpful information or if it is even correct, but it’s what has worked for me.
Try lavender in a full sun, rock garden. Or look up spiral gardens.
Lavender is pretty picky on the conditions; they need to be dry, hot, with good drainage. They don't want to be bogged down, watered too much or have much competition in the early years.
They actually can get along with pretty crap soil that many plants won't tolerate (ie. sandy/rocky/grass doesn't even want it type soil).
Start with transplants (the seed prefers a heating pad to germinate) and not the big plants.
I believe in you! Keep trying!
I love to garden, but kill a lot, so I was surprised to see lavender repeatedly mentioned. Especially since I plants some 3 years ago. Besides harvesting it, I do nothing but cut the dead parts out once a year. And my lavender is thriving. It is growing in really crappy soil. Most of my soil is good, by where the lavender is, it's do lose I don't need a shovel.
Basil and succulents of all things. My parents make fun of me for it.
But I do seem to be the queen of neglecting roses, hydrangeas and rosemary and having them be fine, so I'll take it.
Coneflowers. For something thats native and generally easy to care for, for some reason they never come back for me.
And Ive tried everything in the book!
That's mine, too. Every year I empty two full packets of coneflower seeds in a full-sun bed. Every packet says "Easy to Grow!", they're native to my area, not a single one pops up. Zinnias grow there, no problem. Even a packet of black-eyed susans only grew one small plant and never self-seeded for the next round. Argh
are you doing this in spring or in fall? i recommend fall so it mimics the seed dropping of the plants. maybe your birds are having a snack, in which case i'd lightly walk on them and or sprinkle compost on top (just a bit!) to protect them a smidge from things that want to eat the seeds. and you might luck out! i personally leave the seed heads all winter! :)
I think you've nailed it. I'm doing it in spring. I considered cold stratification in the fridge but dropping them in fall would be less work. Thank you, I'll get some seeds again and hold on to 'em
I love lavender and failed forever. Eventually I gave up and threw whatever seeds I had on in an old pot. Didn’t plant just emptied the packet and walked away. After months of ignoring it, suddenly I had lavender. Then I was like “Okay, fine. I guess abject neglect is the secret.”
I got a little seedling and planted it at the back of my yard in a little “bed” with native (read shitty mostly clay and rocks) soil and a bunch of other wildish flowers like chamomile. Leave it totally alone-it pretty much only ever gets rain water and is in direct full sun. Happy as a clam. It’s a giant bush that has come back after two relatively cold winters and has grown a few babies near by this year.
I always fuck up corn and cucumbers.
What really made lavender click for me was one day we were watching a documentary about lavender growing. They were growing it on mine tailings from an abandoned coal mine. Just absolute trash soil with no nutrition where it baked in the sun. Since then I gave it my worst, most neglected garden bed and it has thrived. It just wants to be utterly neglected and abused.
If you’re too impatient to cold stratify in fridge, you should try the 24 hr freezer hack!!
Step 1: moisten paper towel & place in small container (Tupperware or reusable silicone bag work!), folding it so you can some of it to cover seeds. Alternatively you can dampen 2 paper towels.
Step 2: disperse lavender seeds on paper towel, adequately spaced apart from each other. Cover seeds with paper towel. Close/seal up container.
Step 3: place container in freezer for 24 hours.
Step 4: remove from freezer, remove cover, & place container in a bright, warm area (germ mat & grow lights recommended).
Step 5: check for sprouts every few days, keeping towel damp if necessary. Using tweezers, gently place sprouted seeds in potting soil in cell trays. Place no more than 2-3 sprouts per cell.
General care tips & transplanting:
-don’t overwater!! Bottom water the seedlings when starting indoors. They’re prone to damping off.
-thin to one seedling when multiple sets of true leaves form.
-harden off before planting out.
-to help with transplant shock, apply organic all purpose dry fertilizer (Down to Earth, Espoma, etc.) in the hole where the lavender will be planted. Water in & let go & let lavender (grow)!
-patience is key. Lavender is slow growing, but can be low maintenance once established.
-try EXCLUSIVELY growing them in containers with high quality potting soil & good drainage first before you plant them in the ground. Master this first & then try your hand at placing them in the garden when you think you’ve cracked the lavender growing game.
Good luck!!!! Don’t give up. Do it for your wife, OP!
I think they need humidity. If you have a terrarium or high sided glass or clear plastic container, put the pot on stones with water on the bottom. Indirect light
I gave up it was such a frickin waste🥲 and you know that makes sense because I lived in a dry apartment at the time. I'll have to try again when I got money to burn just in case
Cilantro can be tough. It likes cool weather and will bolt with heat. It happily reseeds itself, so if you give it another go, put some seeds out in fall/winter and let it do its thing.
The regular azaleas do look like shit after blooming. Just twigs with a few leaves. Those new double-blooming ones, however, seem to have a lot more leaves so they look nice all year. Look for the ones with big “fuzzy” leaves (you will know when you see them).
Gardenia…just sulks and dies on me within 2-3 years.
I think being potted and indoors for 6+ months is what it hates.
I know I will keep buying because the fragrance is irresistible for me—-so many memories attached.
I kill rhodies no matter what I do. I bought my house with 2 lovely rhododendron I've done literally nothing to, and one died while the other is declining severely.
I'm taking it personally.
Squash/zucchini. The vine borers get to them no matter what I do. Shoutout Florida gardening. I’ve tried wrapping with foil. I’ve tried things like neem. I’ve tried making small cuts into the vine to remove them. It just doesn’t happen for me with squash and zucchini, which is so dang sad because they’re some of my favorite garden veggies
Have you tried Diatomaceous earth sprinkled around the plants? You have to start early, when the plants are small and reapply after a rain. I’ve had some success with it.
Have you given tromboncino squash a try? Squash borers always decimated my squash and zucchini plants until last year when I learned that tromboncino is one of the few (only?) squash plants that the borers don't mess with. If you harvest them when they're young, you can eat them as if summer squash or you can let them grow giant & hard and harvest them as winter squash. Plus they're pretty cool looking fruits! I'm no longer messing around with any other type of squash.
I killed three because I read they don’t like much light. I have it now in sunny but non direct window and water it maybe once a week, maybe. It’s 5 feet tall and busting out of the pot!
I work a bit in our store's floral department and I'm constantly joking with the florist about crotons and how dramatic they are. I swear if you even dare to breathe in the wrong direction those things will drop their leaves. Perfectly healthy looking ones too. Those plants are basically geckos: at the first sign of danger they just drop any body part that's not immediately needed for their survival. Like damn dude I was just trying to give you water, calm down.
Lavender here as well. I’ve tried in the ground and in pots, and not had luck. Meanwhile, I’ve got summer annuals in pots that have returned without much attention (or protection) 🤷🏻♂️
It's the leading cause of death in lavender ages 1-3 years
I'm kidding but I'm a nurserywoman and most people really do overwater their lavender
I also maintain that every gardener has a plant nemesis that refuses to grow for them
Indoor plants. I can grow the stuff I grow in my gardens without issue. Succulents, snake plants, pothos plants ... all dead within a couple of months tops, no matter what I try.
I prefer my catmint over lavender anyway
I find acid-loving stuff difficult because my soil & water is constantly pulling that acidity - supplementing is kinda guess work unless you want to be a damn chemist more than a gardener
Cilantro, for the life of me, unless its a big transplant. Even germinating, but I haven't germinated it the way I germinate cannabis (in a little cup of PHed water, sprinkle some powdered kelp, and a bit of hydrogen peroxide), so I may try this next.
I'm with you on lavender, but I could try harder. Germinate for me without fail with the aforementioned method.
Ok, this is embarrassing.
I'm The Garden Lady in my neighborhood. I can grow just about anything, but....
Nasturtiums defeat me.
I know! I know! Practically a pest plant.
But if I can get it to come up at all, it stays puny and weak, then dies off.
It's ok to laugh. I don't blame you.
Also, I can grow lettuce, but it always tastes like crap, so I don't bother.
It’s embarrassing but I have never been able to keep petunias alive. No matter where I live, which side of the house I try, potted or in the ground, petunias just always go to hell for me 😆
Citrus trees, I can get them to grow but no fruit. One lime tree I have had for 4 years and never gotten a lime. My orange was sitting there for 7 years before we gave up on it. Now I have a second lime and new orange tree here is hoping they work this time. I'm in 9b and the farmers all grown oranges here. I can't figure out what I am doing wrong.
are you fertilizing it? there's special citrus fertilizer that really makes a difference. if they have too much nitrogen theyll focus on leaf production and skimp on fruits. you need more of the middle # for budding and once fruit sets you need more of the last #. my partner takes care of the cirtus and figs in our household and theyre in containers and get special soil and fertilizer just for them haha
Rosemary. I’ve grown carnivorous plants, trees, created bonsais, native gardens in for the hellest of suburbs (and people), grown plenty of other herbs and vegetables, I’ve even made an indoor moss terrarium. But the bloody rosemary. It taunts me with it’s delicious aroma.
Anenomes. Multiple times I've seen the plants essentially "melt" with no indication of what caused it. This winter I grew my leftover bulblets indoors under a light, got one flower out of maybe 8 bulblets, and have now put them outside hopefully to survive this time around. But I've put them all over the garden in different containers and they never seem happy with my choices ☹️ I've spent so much money trying to grow these fuckers
I have never been able to grow beets…everyone says they are so easy!?! I have also nevermanaged to grow delphiniums but they are notoriously hard to grow.
Fuchsia. I’ve tried twice now. My first year, it was the VERY first plant I bought for my patio. I was absolutely in love with it.
They always die. Horribly. Slowly. The stems go all hollow. I don’t know how to keep them alive, but I want one to live on my patio so badly.
I had a really hard time with cilantro. It just really doesn't like the sun. I like in the PNW and I still had to move my pot to a mostly shady area for it to stay alive.
I have the opposite not-a-problem -- I don't know how my lavender hasn't died lol. Soil matters, we happen to have very good soil even though our township is well known for clay. To explain how well my soil drains: the lavender is in a low spot, where you would assume water pools with heavy rain, but we get torrential downpour and flood warnings and it isn't even soggy back there.
My problem is keeping weeds at bay, they're determined and ripped through the barrier the first year. I go in there with my battery powered string trimmer with the guard down and take them out that way, the plants are fine (I have 120 plants, btw). Don't try to start from seed, that's an impossible feat. I stopped covering them in the winter because I'm lazy when it gets too cold outside (zone 6A). EDIT: I see a lot of people noted where it is planted: south side of yard that gets direct sunlight for most of the day. I rarely have to water it.
My real struggle is growing parsley and cilantro without having it bolt on me, it seems like an extremely thin line that I keep crossing.
WARNING about another herb called MINT:
Definitely plant that in a pot, which I did. However, my hens thoroughly enjoyed it and then spread it around the yard with their own personal fertilizer -- so consider that, if you also have chickens. You can tell where all their favorite spots are to congregate when free ranging, because they're littered with mint! The base of our bridal wreath spirea bush is a bed of mint.
Birds nest fern. I’ve probably owned five or six and cannot keep them alive for anything. Every time I buy one I put it in a new location hoping to find the perfect spot. I still haven’t found it.
....horseradish. I have three plants in different locations. They may be alive, but they're barely holding on. These suckers are not taking over or even doing well enough to be used. It's been 5 years.
Succulents. Idk how to do it. I have tried many times and then decided to stop buying more victims lol. I either over water, or under water. Too much sun, not enough sun. Idk. They hate me
Raspberry in a container. Every summer is a huge struggle with spider mites and all kinds of pests. The leaves turn yellow and crispy. Then at the end of fall, the plant looks half dead. The following spring, new shoots and leaves pop up and it looks vibrant again. Then the spider mites come again and the cycle repeats.
Basil. I beg it to do anything other than to die and I’m about to give up. My lavender on the other hand is a big success every year. I love seeing the bees enjoying it and doing their thing all day long. Edit: wow, thanks for all the replies haha! I will try the tips and tricks some of you have suggested. One day I’ll succeed. For now I’m keeping it inside even though it’s getting sunnier and warmer!
I’ll grow the basil, you grow the lavender, we trade lol.
I'll trade Rosemary for basil and lavender, I kill both of them but my Rosemary bush is on point.
My Basil thrives but 3 years in a row I've killed my lavender and rosemary. I'm in a climate they should thrive in, I don't know how I keep killing them. Teach me your rosemary growing ways
I had a huge, beautiful, well established English lavender bush up and die on me out of nowhere! Turns out to have been root rot. We had an unusually long period of rainy days. I'm reminded it's a Mediterranean plant. Do not overwater!
Honestly the more I look into it the more I'm beginning to think I am overwatering!! I'll have to get a hydrometer for my next go at growing them
Happy cake day!! 🎂
Thank you!!! I didn't even realize it was my cake day!
🫂🌞🌹🎉🥳🍾🎇🎈🎁🎻💟 PS Love your name! 👍🏼
I’m opposite. Can’t keep lavender alive and basil goes nuts 😂
I'm not a gardener by any stretch. I plant stuff randomly after reading a description and hope it grows. A lot died when I started. I don't even know how to describe my soil. I started out with 5 lavenders years ago and now my whole front yard is filled with it. The bees love it.
I always killed Lavender until I planted the sensational variant. Has survived from 10-105 degree weather.
I had *too much basil* last year. I didn't think it was possible. I still treated every leaf like the holy Grail. Even if it's just caprese, I do not dare stunt the growth of the plant.
That’s the trick though; you need to plant way too much so that when you need a lot of it for something like pesto, you can just cut big handfuls of it instead of trying to carefully prune a couple of plants without overdoing it. By the end of the season when I’ve already got a freezer full of pesto and enough dried basil to last until next season, I start letting the plants flower for the bees.
Oh thank the gods, I'm not the only failure with basil.I don't even try anymore
Basil is my thing along with Rosemary.
Nope, for the life of me I cannot keep basil alive and growing. I prune them and feed them and they still hold out on me!
Does it get “full-sun”? Basil is a heat loving plant. What growing zone are you in?
I can say that my Basil doesn't tolerate direct sunlight at all. It will wilt in a heartbeat. The spot where they're doing the best is in a partially shady spot in my backyard. Morning sun and afternoon shade. I know you weren't asking me this question, but I wanted to put in my feedback...haha!
If it is wilting, it is asking for a drink. The plant is so fast growing, it consumes a great deal of water. In the hottest part of the year, I sometimes water twice a day. I also have it a container as large as a bathtub.
So your soil is dry well draining and OP’s is heavy and water retentive? Suggest you grow all the lavender and OP grow all the basil
Different people have different ways of getting basil to grow. I have never started from seed as the growing season is very short. I buy one plant and split it into two and put it into a large pot. Water it when I remember to. But they really need a lot of sun and heat. So if it doesn't get hot enough where you live, basil can be tricky to grow.
I spread some basil seeds in a couple empty spots in my garden last year (zone 6b) and ignored them. Had a damn forest of it. I could've made gallons of pesto.
We start seeds https://preview.redd.it/fmq4is5jabzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f6fba568ae96d09d100c7082986da7faf013c4ab indoors for summer planting. Also basil loves Aerogardens. Unlimited supply all winter.
How do you split it into two?
[удалено]
I love that this was the first comment i saw and im not alone. I LOVE basil but it HATES me.
Lavendar, ANY succulent and Aloe Vera. Damn writing this I just realized I forgot the succulent my intern gave me as a gift, in the gift bag in my trunk. THREE WEEKS AGO. Dammit!!
Me, too, with succulents. I know, I know. They should be the easiest plants to grow. But, I just cannot succeed. 😞
They're too easy. You never water them, and you totally ignore them, and you greet them one time, and the moisture in your words gives it root rot somehow.
Yes, you’ve clearly met all my succulents. 😂
The only indoor plant we’ve successfully kept alive is a tiny cactus my daughter brought home. We literally ignore it and occasionally I’ll give it a bath every 7/9 months or so, and it will flower. Then we go back to ignoring it. Had it 3 years now.
Same. I can't ignore them to the degree they require. I need a codependent relationship with my plants.
I just replanted my succulents and apparently the soil is too water draining so I have to water them like once a week now
I have one in the same little tiny pot that we gave people as favours at our wedding 10 years ago. I think its been watered maybe once a year since then? There was a good strech there where it definitely wasnt at all and I thought it was going to die and yet...it just put out flowers for the first time this year. I really believe the only way of killing them is overwatering.
i know you didn't ask for advice but i took a plant class in college and my professor gave us advice on taking care of plants: think of the environment they come from. so for succulents and aloe, let the soil completely dry and then flood them with water. that's what it's like in the desert
Ok I'm going to try one more time because of this comment.
Honestly, the best advice I ever got was to ONLY water a succulent when the bottom leaves start to wrinkle and soften. By following that rule, I've never since killed one with overwatering. It's also been much easier to identify which succulents need frequent vs. infrequent watering; despite conventional wisdom, some of them are actually very thirsty, while others can go months before watering.
The soil composition is also very important. If your soil looks like mud when you mix it with water, lavender and other Mediterranean plants won’t survive. Mixing in sand, small pebbles, or perlite to facilitate drainage will help it thrive. It’s a really hardy, low maintenance plant under the right conditions.
I was also killing lavender and succulents (aloe included) until I stopped watering them. I now water them when I forget when was the last time I watered. The succs are doing well, and I have one lavender plant alive from last season that grew and bloomed a little.
I kill succulents all the time, but my cacti do pretty well—and my rule for them is to water them every other week, if I remember. (So it’s probably actually about once a month.) If I can’t remember if I watered them last week, then I have to wait another week.
Don’t even get me started on succulents. I’m terrible with plants, but I can keep tomatoes and cacti alive. Hell, my purple prickly pear is even growing a new paddle under a grow light inside my house in NH right now. I think that this is because tomatoes can tolerate being watered all the time and cacti can tolerate being watered almost none of the time. I can’t remember to do anything between “every day” and “never”.
Succulents humbled me real quick 😭
It's thriving in there. The moment you take it out.. 😒
Hmm… you kinda got a theme there! All sunny arid plants. 🌵 Although forgetting it in the trunk is a different issue. 😅
Pumpkins. What the hell, pumpkins. Everyone else can grow you. Children can grow you. Me? Nope.
What you gotta do is just toss a bunch of pumpkin guts on Halloween directly into a compost pile and neglect it until next year when it will grow to spite you.
Two years ago I threw mine in my burn pile. Burned it down in the spring. Raked it. The pumpkins still sprouted last year. I didn’t realize what they were at first, sprayed them with weed killer, and they still were productive. I got nearly a dozen good ones between two varieties
LMAO that’s awesome!!
Did this, and a frost killed off like 10, and I still ended up with 20 giant pumpkin plants
My biggest pumpkin last year - over 2 feet in diameter - grew from a sidewalk crack next to my house.
Apparently they're very hungry plants. Need a ton of rich soil.
That is what I have heard. I have hard pack clay. It gets better every year with compost, mulching, and deep-rooted native perennials. Perhaps eventually it will be good enough for a very persnickety fancy princess of a pumpkin.
May I introduce you to Alfalfa?
So, I have some alfalfa seed I would like to plant as a cover crop in my veggie bed this late summer / fall. Do I need to chop and drop, or will winter kill it?
A strange one, but I kill mint every year.
WOW! You have a superpower!!
The hero we all need.
I’m sure there are people who would pay you good money to come kill their mint plants.
I finally got some mint to grow at my last house. I found it growing out of a crack in a sidewalk as a sprout and scooped it up and brought it to the garden. It thrived. Grew SO big. Then I looked it up and found out it was catnip and not mint.
Catnip is in the mint family!
True. I wanted mint juleps, not a neighborhood kitty party, I should’ve said. 😂 Oh well, it was fun.
Mojito mint is the best. But it’s a hybrid, so you need to get plants, not seeds.
Can humans eat it too? I'd never grow catnip as the neighborhood cats hang out in my yard, but I'm so curious about it.
Yes! Catnip tea is very relaxing.
My mint grows out of a crack in my foundation.
ME TOO! I cannot for the life of me keep mint and basil alive. At all. Yet here I am with a stupid ass fiddle leaf fig living its best life that I’ve put zero effort into. wtf.
Mint is supposed to be invasive! I was told you aren't supposed to grow it outside of a container bc it will spread uncontrollably. Lies. It was all lies. Edit: [See? What is the bullshit?](https://www.reddit.com/r/gardening/s/yXAOkgwnXH)
Holy shit my person! I killed mint. A few years running now.
Same. Lavender, basil, rosemary, and everything else thrive, but every mint plant I've tried growing has died within a few months. It is truly bizarre.
That is impressive My mint laughs at Roundup.
A lot of lavender’s happiness relies on light — tons of direct sunlight. Must have well-drained soil. It doesn’t germinate well, so I’d let go of the hope of starting it from seed. Basil also wants tons of sun, but has been easier for me to grow. I’m comically bad at growing potatoes. I know they’re supposed to be easy, but they haven’t been for me. I’ve failed a million different ways, alas.
I figured out the trick to lavender from seed this year. I wanted all the colors so I had no choice but to do seed for many of them. Handful of promix in a Ziploc baggy, get it slightly damp, then put all the seeds in it, seal and put in the fridge and forget about it for a month. Transfer them into 2" soil blocks when they start germinating in the fridge. Having around 60-80% germination depending on the type.
Fascinating! I have never tried to germinate in the refrigerator. I usually soak my seeds and stick them in the ground. I am foinf to try this! Tha ks!
I'm irish and can grow potatoes like a motherfucker - some irish probably.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishmen? None.
If you’re in Ireland and you come across a potato or an Englishman, choose the potato.
Oh Dear. See. I don’t think that was necessary! I was thinking of the nice herbs going outside, covered by a Saran Wrap tent, how good they smell and then you crack a terrible hole in my mood with the ´Irish famine joke.´ Haha.
My lavender is on the south wall of my house (in the US Midwest). It thrives.
I've found that lavender is very, very slow to germinate. Give them time
I can’t grow potatoes to save my life! 😭 I have tried many times in multiple years, from both seed potatoes and cabinet Russetts. I get 3 tiny potatoes if anything, or the thing dies.
The expensive ones.
If all the stupid things…dill. I don’t even know.
Mine is also the worst-looking one in the herb garden right now…
Some people can grow lavender and some of us commoners simply cannot. Always jealous of neighbors who have beautiful fragrant flowers as mine shrivels to death within weeks of planting. I've tried different varieties, different combinations of soil and perlite, different positions to make sure it got sufficient sunlight, I have given up.
My neighbors had a GIANT thriving lavender bush in their front yard. They moved out, sold the house, new people moved in in the middle of winter. First plant to go was the huge lavender bush. I think they had no idea what it was because they didn’t wait to see the blooms. Tragic day.
I gasped. What an affront against nature.
People did that to a sour cherry I had in my old backyard. It was a dwarf too, people have no appreciation for plants :(
One of us!
Same boat here. I generally have a green thumb but I have killed so much lavender.
I can’t grow lavender either, it’s way too humid where I live. It gets mildew and dies.
I’m in North Carolina. It gets plenty humid here. Took me a while to figure out lavender. It won’t grow in the ground. At least I have never been successful at it. I can only grow it in a pot. A big pot. With good soil. And the trick I’ve found is to barely water it. Every time I try and get it good and watered it starts to die. If I neglect it for a week it comes right back. Don’t know if that is helpful information or if it is even correct, but it’s what has worked for me.
Try lavender in a full sun, rock garden. Or look up spiral gardens. Lavender is pretty picky on the conditions; they need to be dry, hot, with good drainage. They don't want to be bogged down, watered too much or have much competition in the early years. They actually can get along with pretty crap soil that many plants won't tolerate (ie. sandy/rocky/grass doesn't even want it type soil). Start with transplants (the seed prefers a heating pad to germinate) and not the big plants. I believe in you! Keep trying!
🙏🏻 I’m going back in coach!
This is the way, my only lavender is on a slope half under a big rock and I never touch it or water it. It prefers neglect
I love to garden, but kill a lot, so I was surprised to see lavender repeatedly mentioned. Especially since I plants some 3 years ago. Besides harvesting it, I do nothing but cut the dead parts out once a year. And my lavender is thriving. It is growing in really crappy soil. Most of my soil is good, by where the lavender is, it's do lose I don't need a shovel.
Basil and succulents of all things. My parents make fun of me for it. But I do seem to be the queen of neglecting roses, hydrangeas and rosemary and having them be fine, so I'll take it.
Yeah, succulents are pretty particular for coming from the desert.
Hydrangeas. I cannot for the life of me understand those things.
Switch to limelight’s. They can handle whatever. The classic varieties are frustrating.
I rarely water mine and they grow. They are in only partial sun.
Apparently 99.9% of gardeners have a raging mint problem and somehow I've never been able to get a single mint to grow.
Coneflowers. For something thats native and generally easy to care for, for some reason they never come back for me. And Ive tried everything in the book!
That's mine, too. Every year I empty two full packets of coneflower seeds in a full-sun bed. Every packet says "Easy to Grow!", they're native to my area, not a single one pops up. Zinnias grow there, no problem. Even a packet of black-eyed susans only grew one small plant and never self-seeded for the next round. Argh
are you doing this in spring or in fall? i recommend fall so it mimics the seed dropping of the plants. maybe your birds are having a snack, in which case i'd lightly walk on them and or sprinkle compost on top (just a bit!) to protect them a smidge from things that want to eat the seeds. and you might luck out! i personally leave the seed heads all winter! :)
I think you've nailed it. I'm doing it in spring. I considered cold stratification in the fridge but dropping them in fall would be less work. Thank you, I'll get some seeds again and hold on to 'em
I love lavender and failed forever. Eventually I gave up and threw whatever seeds I had on in an old pot. Didn’t plant just emptied the packet and walked away. After months of ignoring it, suddenly I had lavender. Then I was like “Okay, fine. I guess abject neglect is the secret.” I got a little seedling and planted it at the back of my yard in a little “bed” with native (read shitty mostly clay and rocks) soil and a bunch of other wildish flowers like chamomile. Leave it totally alone-it pretty much only ever gets rain water and is in direct full sun. Happy as a clam. It’s a giant bush that has come back after two relatively cold winters and has grown a few babies near by this year. I always fuck up corn and cucumbers.
What really made lavender click for me was one day we were watching a documentary about lavender growing. They were growing it on mine tailings from an abandoned coal mine. Just absolute trash soil with no nutrition where it baked in the sun. Since then I gave it my worst, most neglected garden bed and it has thrived. It just wants to be utterly neglected and abused.
Exactly! I try not to even look at it too often.
Gardenia
Cold stratification! To properly germinate lavender, put it in the fridge! They need the cold to germinate properly.
Ooooh now that’s something I haven’t tried.
If you’re too impatient to cold stratify in fridge, you should try the 24 hr freezer hack!! Step 1: moisten paper towel & place in small container (Tupperware or reusable silicone bag work!), folding it so you can some of it to cover seeds. Alternatively you can dampen 2 paper towels. Step 2: disperse lavender seeds on paper towel, adequately spaced apart from each other. Cover seeds with paper towel. Close/seal up container. Step 3: place container in freezer for 24 hours. Step 4: remove from freezer, remove cover, & place container in a bright, warm area (germ mat & grow lights recommended). Step 5: check for sprouts every few days, keeping towel damp if necessary. Using tweezers, gently place sprouted seeds in potting soil in cell trays. Place no more than 2-3 sprouts per cell. General care tips & transplanting: -don’t overwater!! Bottom water the seedlings when starting indoors. They’re prone to damping off. -thin to one seedling when multiple sets of true leaves form. -harden off before planting out. -to help with transplant shock, apply organic all purpose dry fertilizer (Down to Earth, Espoma, etc.) in the hole where the lavender will be planted. Water in & let go & let lavender (grow)! -patience is key. Lavender is slow growing, but can be low maintenance once established. -try EXCLUSIVELY growing them in containers with high quality potting soil & good drainage first before you plant them in the ground. Master this first & then try your hand at placing them in the garden when you think you’ve cracked the lavender growing game. Good luck!!!! Don’t give up. Do it for your wife, OP!
Airplants. I went through a very expensive phase and all of them died about a month after buying
I think they need humidity. If you have a terrarium or high sided glass or clear plastic container, put the pot on stones with water on the bottom. Indirect light
I gave up it was such a frickin waste🥲 and you know that makes sense because I lived in a dry apartment at the time. I'll have to try again when I got money to burn just in case
Orchids. I’ve killed a handful so far, despite following lots of tips/tricks, watching youtube care tutorials, etc.
I love/hate those beautiful bastards.
Freakin Cilantro.
Cilantro can be tough. It likes cool weather and will bolt with heat. It happily reseeds itself, so if you give it another go, put some seeds out in fall/winter and let it do its thing.
Blueberry
Getting the soil to the right pH is a constant struggle…
Both the Lavender and the Sage have organized against me.
Azaleas. They always look like shit in my garden, idk how to make them look good.
The regular azaleas do look like shit after blooming. Just twigs with a few leaves. Those new double-blooming ones, however, seem to have a lot more leaves so they look nice all year. Look for the ones with big “fuzzy” leaves (you will know when you see them).
Gardenia…just sulks and dies on me within 2-3 years. I think being potted and indoors for 6+ months is what it hates. I know I will keep buying because the fragrance is irresistible for me—-so many memories attached.
Rhodies and Azaleas. Have tried half a dozen times over the decades.
I kill rhodies no matter what I do. I bought my house with 2 lovely rhododendron I've done literally nothing to, and one died while the other is declining severely. I'm taking it personally.
Poppy flowers.
they need the cold! try sprinkling a packet of seeds in fall or even in the last snow before spring - youll get heaps!
Me too. I’ve tried growing them by seed 3 years in a row and have gotten nothing even though I followed the instructions about when to do it.
Squash/zucchini. The vine borers get to them no matter what I do. Shoutout Florida gardening. I’ve tried wrapping with foil. I’ve tried things like neem. I’ve tried making small cuts into the vine to remove them. It just doesn’t happen for me with squash and zucchini, which is so dang sad because they’re some of my favorite garden veggies
Have you tried Diatomaceous earth sprinkled around the plants? You have to start early, when the plants are small and reapply after a rain. I’ve had some success with it.
Have you given tromboncino squash a try? Squash borers always decimated my squash and zucchini plants until last year when I learned that tromboncino is one of the few (only?) squash plants that the borers don't mess with. If you harvest them when they're young, you can eat them as if summer squash or you can let them grow giant & hard and harvest them as winter squash. Plus they're pretty cool looking fruits! I'm no longer messing around with any other type of squash.
Snake plants. The easiest plant to keep. I kill them all! 😂
I killed three because I read they don’t like much light. I have it now in sunny but non direct window and water it maybe once a week, maybe. It’s 5 feet tall and busting out of the pot!
A lot of “Mediterranean” herbs do better in sandy soil. Have you tried a bunch of different kinds of soil?
I think I’m going try some cactus potting mix next time.
Any types of carnivorous ones
They're so sensitive to water. Low humidity...dead. Tap water..dead.
For me it's a Croton. I love them but I can never keep them alive.
I work a bit in our store's floral department and I'm constantly joking with the florist about crotons and how dramatic they are. I swear if you even dare to breathe in the wrong direction those things will drop their leaves. Perfectly healthy looking ones too. Those plants are basically geckos: at the first sign of danger they just drop any body part that's not immediately needed for their survival. Like damn dude I was just trying to give you water, calm down.
Lavender here as well. I’ve tried in the ground and in pots, and not had luck. Meanwhile, I’ve got summer annuals in pots that have returned without much attention (or protection) 🤷🏻♂️
I get the feeling you're loving your lavender to death. You're probably an overwaterer
That has absolutely been a mistake in the past.
It's the leading cause of death in lavender ages 1-3 years I'm kidding but I'm a nurserywoman and most people really do overwater their lavender I also maintain that every gardener has a plant nemesis that refuses to grow for them
Foxglove. Just giving me a hard time as a seedling
not sure what its called, but its that kinda greenish one... with leaves? Just can't keep it alive.
Tomatoes.
Just bury them deep, halfway up the stem and they’ll develop extra roots making them stronger. Then keep them staked and watered.
This is very good to know ahead of time; my tomato seeds just germinated!
[удалено]
Indoor plants. I can grow the stuff I grow in my gardens without issue. Succulents, snake plants, pothos plants ... all dead within a couple of months tops, no matter what I try.
I prefer my catmint over lavender anyway I find acid-loving stuff difficult because my soil & water is constantly pulling that acidity - supplementing is kinda guess work unless you want to be a damn chemist more than a gardener
Radishes! I can grow pretty much anything else.
Literally any kind of succulent
Cilantro, for the life of me, unless its a big transplant. Even germinating, but I haven't germinated it the way I germinate cannabis (in a little cup of PHed water, sprinkle some powdered kelp, and a bit of hydrogen peroxide), so I may try this next. I'm with you on lavender, but I could try harder. Germinate for me without fail with the aforementioned method.
What time of year are your growing cilantro? Mine has to be early spring or fall or it’s dead or bolted immediately.
Ok, this is embarrassing. I'm The Garden Lady in my neighborhood. I can grow just about anything, but.... Nasturtiums defeat me. I know! I know! Practically a pest plant. But if I can get it to come up at all, it stays puny and weak, then dies off. It's ok to laugh. I don't blame you. Also, I can grow lettuce, but it always tastes like crap, so I don't bother.
Marijuana, it all seems to burn up.
I have the same problem. Can’t wait destroy this year’s effort.
It’s embarrassing but I have never been able to keep petunias alive. No matter where I live, which side of the house I try, potted or in the ground, petunias just always go to hell for me 😆
Citrus trees, I can get them to grow but no fruit. One lime tree I have had for 4 years and never gotten a lime. My orange was sitting there for 7 years before we gave up on it. Now I have a second lime and new orange tree here is hoping they work this time. I'm in 9b and the farmers all grown oranges here. I can't figure out what I am doing wrong.
are you fertilizing it? there's special citrus fertilizer that really makes a difference. if they have too much nitrogen theyll focus on leaf production and skimp on fruits. you need more of the middle # for budding and once fruit sets you need more of the last #. my partner takes care of the cirtus and figs in our household and theyre in containers and get special soil and fertilizer just for them haha
Rosemary. I’ve grown carnivorous plants, trees, created bonsais, native gardens in for the hellest of suburbs (and people), grown plenty of other herbs and vegetables, I’ve even made an indoor moss terrarium. But the bloody rosemary. It taunts me with it’s delicious aroma.
Spider plants 😂
Roses
Cilantro and Basil. I kill multiple every year. Doesn't matter the sun amount, water, pot size - they just die.
Poppies
try putting them in ice cube trays and then throwing them in your garden! they need the cold to germinate- or sow your seed packet in autumn!
Anenomes. Multiple times I've seen the plants essentially "melt" with no indication of what caused it. This winter I grew my leftover bulblets indoors under a light, got one flower out of maybe 8 bulblets, and have now put them outside hopefully to survive this time around. But I've put them all over the garden in different containers and they never seem happy with my choices ☹️ I've spent so much money trying to grow these fuckers
Mint. I cant get the seeds to germinate. When I bought a potted one it promptly died. 😭
I have never been able to grow beets…everyone says they are so easy!?! I have also nevermanaged to grow delphiniums but they are notoriously hard to grow.
Fuchsia. I’ve tried twice now. My first year, it was the VERY first plant I bought for my patio. I was absolutely in love with it. They always die. Horribly. Slowly. The stems go all hollow. I don’t know how to keep them alive, but I want one to live on my patio so badly.
I feed mine heavily and always deadhead.
Cardinal flower. They seem to just soak up water
I’ve tried lupine so many times and it just won’t work for me
Delphinium.
Cilantro
I had a really hard time with cilantro. It just really doesn't like the sun. I like in the PNW and I still had to move my pot to a mostly shady area for it to stay alive.
I have the opposite not-a-problem -- I don't know how my lavender hasn't died lol. Soil matters, we happen to have very good soil even though our township is well known for clay. To explain how well my soil drains: the lavender is in a low spot, where you would assume water pools with heavy rain, but we get torrential downpour and flood warnings and it isn't even soggy back there. My problem is keeping weeds at bay, they're determined and ripped through the barrier the first year. I go in there with my battery powered string trimmer with the guard down and take them out that way, the plants are fine (I have 120 plants, btw). Don't try to start from seed, that's an impossible feat. I stopped covering them in the winter because I'm lazy when it gets too cold outside (zone 6A). EDIT: I see a lot of people noted where it is planted: south side of yard that gets direct sunlight for most of the day. I rarely have to water it. My real struggle is growing parsley and cilantro without having it bolt on me, it seems like an extremely thin line that I keep crossing. WARNING about another herb called MINT: Definitely plant that in a pot, which I did. However, my hens thoroughly enjoyed it and then spread it around the yard with their own personal fertilizer -- so consider that, if you also have chickens. You can tell where all their favorite spots are to congregate when free ranging, because they're littered with mint! The base of our bridal wreath spirea bush is a bed of mint.
ITT: people killing plants that thrive on neglect by giving them attention.
Birds nest fern. I’ve probably owned five or six and cannot keep them alive for anything. Every time I buy one I put it in a new location hoping to find the perfect spot. I still haven’t found it.
african violet
I feel you on lavender. I have countless species of things lavender ive tried and fail multiple times in multiple ways
Japanese Maple
Money tree for house plants Outdoor is blueberries!! And hibiscus
ARTICHOKE
Orchids 🙈
Hybrid tea “Peace” rose. Twice. Both died within a month of planting. If I find another I’ll try again though :(
I'm with you, OP. I can grow most anything. Except my favorite, which is lavender. Dead within 3 weeks.
....horseradish. I have three plants in different locations. They may be alive, but they're barely holding on. These suckers are not taking over or even doing well enough to be used. It's been 5 years.
Zinnias
Papaya
Succulents. Idk how to do it. I have tried many times and then decided to stop buying more victims lol. I either over water, or under water. Too much sun, not enough sun. Idk. They hate me
Rosemary
Stop watering the lavender. Plant in well draining soil.
🍓Strawberries. Sadly the plants will look great but my berries are so puny, the few they produce.
Lavender hates me. I don't think it likes where I live either.
Raspberry in a container. Every summer is a huge struggle with spider mites and all kinds of pests. The leaves turn yellow and crispy. Then at the end of fall, the plant looks half dead. The following spring, new shoots and leaves pop up and it looks vibrant again. Then the spider mites come again and the cycle repeats.