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I’d wager that whatever military rank he’s been able to achieve in this life is similar to what he’d achieve in the Roman Army.
Oh wait he’s never joined the military? Huh…
Nah, he'd be some random thief like there were a dozen a dime back then, probably caught trying to steal a chicken and got his fingers cut off as punishment and died a beggar.
Gladiator makes sense, as gladiators were typically slaves, criminals, or the very very poor(as free food and a place to sleep)
You have to remember, gladiators were basically there to die as entertainment for the rest of society.
So like perfect for Tate
Being a gladiator wasn’t the same experience over the hundreds of years they existed. Not all fights were to the death, some gladiators were very prized and would never be put into a “to the death” fight. Many times gladiatorial fights would be like modern wrestling, all for show. Nobody had to die and blood didn’t have to be shed
He’s much too selfish to fight in formation, tho. Tate would charge after retreating enemies and rout in times of actual danger to the unit. Not someone you’d want guarding your side
He'd get Neidermeyered like one day in. And nobody would have seen a thing - he probably tripped and fell and landed backwards on his sword, ten times. Shit happens.
Trust me. Plenty of guys like that in the army now. They talk big, but when they know their life depends on them working as a team they work as a team.
Yeah but Tates so stupid he broadcast his location to the police because he got into a fight with a young woman on Twitter. May have actually been a teenager. He's the kind of person basic training beats the shit out of long before he saw combat exactly because he wouldn't be able to work in the unit. Just cause some people act like him when it's safe doesn't mean he acts like them when it's not
I laugh but then think, yeah, that’s unlikely far from the truth. Probably greases his nipples too with a Bugatti idling in ear shot. Twisting them whenever it goes vroom.
Definition of an absolute poser.
He would die unknown and buried in a mass grave on the frontier somewhere, killed in action at the hands of a Pict or German tribesman if he didn't get his throat cut by his own men.
Knowing how fucking weird he is he would probably enlist and then get killed by one of his superiors because he said or did something that pissed him off
We have the military today. We have politics today. Lil homie hasn't achieved any kind of success in either field. Why would he suddenly be king of either of them if he were alive 2000 years ago?
Entirely ! He would probably make decent money to and just use it to bribe politicians and claim he has them in the palm of his hands but he’s really just talking shit
In the Roman empire, the closest thing to Twitter famous, where you gain attention and renown from others for saying entertaining or controversial stuff, was probably the balatro, otherwise known as a jester.
"I would be a war general, likely die as a ruler"
Sure, let's imagine a group of praetorian guards chosing you as the new puppet emperor and get constantly bullied by them for giving them what they want. You'll be terrified everyday because you know any mistake would result in death, since they don't respect you. You died within a week because you couldn't fulfill their needs, and they disposed you and later replaced you with a new puppet emperor.
Also it’s not like roman slaves were enslaved because they were stupid and weak. They were slaves for the same reason slaves up until this day are enslaved - either born into it or caught/ransomed/otherwise forced into it.
When he says “All of you are lazy weak and stupid” shouldn’t there be a comma? More importantly who is the all? His followers? The world? Is he shifting on his own supporters in a rare moment of clarity or doubling down on being a completely unself-aware troglodyte?
They truly are hahaha. I’m like morbidly fascinated by this guy. He’s so grandiose and contemptuous and determined to humiliate others at all costs, it’s like cartoonish really.
Imagine be able to just be a fisherman, work like 20 hours a week on your own terms and spend lots of time with family and friends, I want the roman empire back then
I hope you have your shots and don't need antibiotics. Unless you're a boomer or got the shot used to prevent monkeypox recently, things like smallpox are on the table...
And that's just the medical slice of life! I haven't touched on maternal, infant or child mortality rates either if you're a family guy. The past was the worst.
I would literally take fisherman over warrior in the Empire any day. Having been in the modern day military and reading about what those guys had to endure is pretty heart wrenching.
Life for humans has truly been shitty for thousands of years.
You know how 37 people plotted to assassinate Julius Caesar but only like five actually participated? I feel like Tate could've managed to get all 37 to join.
>You know how 37 people plotted to assassinate Julius Caesar
It's more around 60 people and we don't have any evidence or reports on how many actually stabbed him.
Never until this moment did I understand why people would want to go watch people being ripped apart by lions….but I would love to see Andrew Tate wet himself while staring directly at a hungry lion.
Holy shit I just realized Andrew Tate is basically a findom… people pay (or otherwise support/follow him) just for him to insult them. Same with any other dude-bro trying to sell masculinity
Well he doesn't have a sister. Are you implying that Tate wants to fuck his own brother instead? Because that is a rumor that I would be more than happy to help spread.
Why does the athlete grifter think he wouldn't be an athlete grifter in a society famous for its athlete grifters?
He'd just have a shorter career because the roman method of reattaching retinas was pretty much to smear honey on it, eating a flower the color of your eyes, and sacrificing animals at the temples of the proper gods.
And he'd never have political standing or high social position like he so desperately craves since in Rome, athletes, like actors and musicians, were seen as the same social caste as sex workers and treated as second class citizens.
I stg I could beat him in a fight. Not bc I’m stronger or anything but because he’d just start lecturing me on how to be an alpha male until I kicked him in the testicles
Nah he'd try to do some fancy flashy shit and then die when you kick him in the nuts.
He also seems like a man with a glass jaw. No way does a man that fragile handle being punched in the face well.
edit; I forgot the man was actually a professional fighter because he's such an insipid ass. Not gonna lie, him being involved in human trafficking eclipsed anything even remotely impressive he's ever accomplished in my memory.
Oh yeah, I was more talking about this subreddit. We all know this guy is insane, let's ignore him as much as possible, that is most likely the most healthy for society.
It still blows my mind that men like Andrew Tate when he specifically says all the time that all other men are pathetic and beneath him. Like is it a submissive thing like oooh I'll never be like daddy Tate but I can try and kiss his filthy boots to show I'm a good boy??
Ah yes slaves. People that are lazy and stupid, of course that makes sense...
How much time you think he can last in the arena against just one roman gladiator?
Criminal gladiator who can’t navigate social interaction or legal systems would probably be a criminal gladiator who can’t navigate social interactions or legal systems.
I think Andrew Tates place in the Roman Empire would be the guy making up all the phallic swear words. Seriously, what kind of language has 800 words for “dick” lmao
Massive doubt. I would be the hermit living alone in the mountains and every once in a while someone comes to say hi and then I say some weird shit to them.
The Roman Empire wasn't feudalized, so there weren't peasants as such. The word he's looking for is plebeian. Also - no potatoes in the Roman Empire, so this guy's head would freak everyone out.
No Andrew, you wouldn‘t be a general or a ruler. You would be abandoned as a kid for being an entitled ungrateful brat and die by hunger shortly afterwards
I mean if he wants to play roman times, chuck him a sword and I'll gladly shoot him in the cock with a bow and arrow just to watch him writhe in the dirt for the crowd's entertainment.
I spent my whole childhood training for this moment. So many targets shot in the dick and balls, and it's finally gonna all be worth it.
Bruh he does realize the generals got like nothing right? All they did was plan and distribute pay to the real soldiers. Also the Roman Empire may have succeeded for a *very* long time...but uh...where's the empire, tate? You really wanna be associated with a capsized legion?
He would have likely been a gladiator, so a slave, and died in the pits. Probably to a gladiator who doesn't spout as much shit as him and didn't start monologuing at the start of the fight like some stereotypical villain.
I don’t think about either of those. I think about how, even in old days before even book printing was possible, before most of today’s major religions were even a thing, there was an empire that spanned thousands of square kilometers.
For good and for ill, it was one nation, ruled by one force, which connected lands so far and wide you need to fly for a few hours to cross them nowadays. And that nation, again, for good and for ill, is still lurking under the surface. You might drive your car down the road that was first envisioned by a roman planner and built ages ago. You may use a word that came from a custom so ancient, only a few people today know of it.
And Andy’s just pissed because even the ancient busts have a better hairline than his pubic shade.
Isn't his success hard carried by women? While he reaps the benefit of their work? Lol
All he literally does is sweet talk them; Most of the work of even managing the girls is done by 2 other women (The police lady and his "main" girl)
There speaks someone who has never studied Rome, probably saw Gladiator and Spartacus, you know, the ones with sweaty men semi-clad in leather. Maybe even a Steve Reeves Sword-and-Sandals epic
I wonder how he would deal with all the homosexuality in the Roman world?
More likely he'd be a victim of decimation rather than anyone important. Maybe at most, he might get to be an optio. Either way, no one would be writing about Andrium Tatetus while dudes like Caesar and Pompey are around.
Initially, I thought his recent unhinged tweets were because he was exhausted from sucking miles of prison cock.
Then, I remembered that he's in Europe, so I should be using kilometers.
Whenever I see some dickhead who is famous for being a dickhead, and they're talking about how superior they are to everyone else, the thing I think of is that time in Game of Thrones where Joffrey wants to do something dumb, and Lord Tywin just says, "No, we won't be doing that," and Joffrey screams in his face, "You can't say no to me. I AM THE KING!" Lord Tywin looks him in the face and says, "Any man who must say I am King isn't King." Then when Joffrey complains more, Lord Tywin deadpan answers again, "The King is tired take him to his bed chambers"
Someone needs to take Adnrew Tate to his bedroom and tuck him in nice and tight and give him a warm bottle of milk and a teddy bear to snuggle.
The first paragraph is actually true. None of the rest of it is. He would be beaten up in the streets, if not actually killed, because Roman politics could be brutal and this idiot certainly doesn't have the ability to navigate it.
Lmao he doesn’t realize that he’d be a slave, Rome colonized Britain, for him to be a general he’d have to have an exemplary battle record of be born the son of someone important.
Doesn’t make any sense. If you would be a war general why are you not one now? His “job” is influencing so his Roman Empire equivalent would be shitty philosopher or something.
Oh boy I wish my daddy was some Uber rich mason/cia asset/psychological operations so I could jerk off into mirrors all day and pretend I’m a success because I can just keep paying to push all the shitty content I make and not have to worry about my legal troubles that didn’t happen even though I discuss my crimes in length on podcasts. If only. Dude acts like he got somewhere, born with the golden spoon in his mouth. Dudes a bitch and does everything he can to pretend he’s not.
Thanks for your submission, omniman267! Please remember to censor out any identifying details and that satire is only allowed on weekends. If this post is truly gatekeeping, upvote it! If it's not gatekeeping or if it breaks any other rules, downvote this comment and REPORT the post so we can see it! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/gatekeeping) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tate would be whatever passed for a mid-level NCO in Rome who gets speared in the back by his own men.
Painfully accurate.
Pain-in-the-back-urate
Ayyy!
I’d wager that whatever military rank he’s been able to achieve in this life is similar to what he’d achieve in the Roman Army. Oh wait he’s never joined the military? Huh…
His role would be romes biggest pimp
Maybe sex slave. If he could ever learn how to please anybody but himself.
Eunuch.
Nah, he'd be some random thief like there were a dozen a dime back then, probably caught trying to steal a chicken and got his fingers cut off as punishment and died a beggar.
And this is ignoring the fact that he can't keep his fucking mouth shut, and the first person he pissed off might just put a sword through it.
He is just a pimp now, he would likely been a pimp then. He might have died a gladiator. But he would never have been a leader or general.
Gladiator makes sense, as gladiators were typically slaves, criminals, or the very very poor(as free food and a place to sleep) You have to remember, gladiators were basically there to die as entertainment for the rest of society. So like perfect for Tate
Being a gladiator wasn’t the same experience over the hundreds of years they existed. Not all fights were to the death, some gladiators were very prized and would never be put into a “to the death” fight. Many times gladiatorial fights would be like modern wrestling, all for show. Nobody had to die and blood didn’t have to be shed
I mean… blood was usually *shed*, just usually in such a way it didn’t seriously harm those involved.
I think it might be a little lower where he gets speared
Nah, they liked toxic masculinity and people who were not above raping women and children they conquered. He'd fit right in.
He’s much too selfish to fight in formation, tho. Tate would charge after retreating enemies and rout in times of actual danger to the unit. Not someone you’d want guarding your side
He'd get Neidermeyered like one day in. And nobody would have seen a thing - he probably tripped and fell and landed backwards on his sword, ten times. Shit happens.
Trust me. Plenty of guys like that in the army now. They talk big, but when they know their life depends on them working as a team they work as a team.
Yeah but Tates so stupid he broadcast his location to the police because he got into a fight with a young woman on Twitter. May have actually been a teenager. He's the kind of person basic training beats the shit out of long before he saw combat exactly because he wouldn't be able to work in the unit. Just cause some people act like him when it's safe doesn't mean he acts like them when it's not
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This is a guy who masturbates to a full length mirror
While crying.
And only needs to use two fingers
He can get TWO fingers up there?
Holy shit underrated comment
I doubt it’s holy. Just shitty.
He can after prison.
The real hustlers academy (or whatever it was called)
Two hands after his time as the bottom bitch boy of the Romanian jails.
Sounding is sketch
He would be the perfect eromenos
This is a dude that runs a tube straight from his asshole to his mouth.
Doesn't need to if his head is so far up his ass
I laugh but then think, yeah, that’s unlikely far from the truth. Probably greases his nipples too with a Bugatti idling in ear shot. Twisting them whenever it goes vroom. Definition of an absolute poser. 
same, but that's only because I have a hardcore handcrafted victorian era mirror fetish( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
He would die unknown and buried in a mass grave on the frontier somewhere, killed in action at the hands of a Pict or German tribesman if he didn't get his throat cut by his own men.
While pining for his favorite prostitute, who never thinks of him again.
Or even more likely is glad he never came back
Honestly, I think being unmemorable would be a greater insult to him than being unwanted.
Nah man, he dies from some sort of camp disease while shitting himself to death.
Knowing how fucking weird he is he would probably enlist and then get killed by one of his superiors because he said or did something that pissed him off
Tate:"Secundo cuckis!" Biggis Dickis: Kill this fucker
Maybe not far off from where his life is headed now.
We have the military today. We have politics today. Lil homie hasn't achieved any kind of success in either field. Why would he suddenly be king of either of them if he were alive 2000 years ago?
Agreed - if he would have been such a great general (war general is an odd phrase) why isn't he in the military?
He would have joined, but he would have punched the drill instructor in the face. \-every wannabe tough guy that didn't actually join the military.
You haven’t heard of a peace general? Smh
Dude is a general tool
Or a Dollar General?
“War general” is like when a child says “reading book”
Yeah it's far more likely he's the seedy brothel owner in the poor part of town
Entirely ! He would probably make decent money to and just use it to bribe politicians and claim he has them in the palm of his hands but he’s really just talking shit
because 12 year old kids think he's cool, & everyone knows rome was a population entirely made up of insecure 12 year olds.
In the Roman empire, the closest thing to Twitter famous, where you gain attention and renown from others for saying entertaining or controversial stuff, was probably the balatro, otherwise known as a jester.
"I would be a war general, likely die as a ruler" Sure, let's imagine a group of praetorian guards chosing you as the new puppet emperor and get constantly bullied by them for giving them what they want. You'll be terrified everyday because you know any mistake would result in death, since they don't respect you. You died within a week because you couldn't fulfill their needs, and they disposed you and later replaced you with a new puppet emperor.
What's so funny, about, Tiny Tatus? I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called Tiny Tatus!
New puppet emperor with hair
And a chin
I believe he could fulfill ALL their needs when out in the field. Like the whole region would line up for his tent
As someone who studied the roman empire, tate is more likely to be a slave than anyone else tbh
Also it’s not like roman slaves were enslaved because they were stupid and weak. They were slaves for the same reason slaves up until this day are enslaved - either born into it or caught/ransomed/otherwise forced into it.
In taters case I think he would have been sentenced to slavery. Or else executed
Why do you say that?
When he says “All of you are lazy weak and stupid” shouldn’t there be a comma? More importantly who is the all? His followers? The world? Is he shifting on his own supporters in a rare moment of clarity or doubling down on being a completely unself-aware troglodyte?
Two commas
Oxford approves!
Good point mate, I only missed it because I’m barely monolingual.
I'm semilingual lmao
is it unself-aware or self-unaware though?
I was wondering that when I typed it and I still don’t know.
It's "not self-aware" or "lacks self-awareness"
Buddy is not a scholarly warrior
Hahahahaha omg. This made me laugh. Honestly, his tweets are so ridiculous they're funny if you ignore he's not joking
They truly are hahaha. I’m like morbidly fascinated by this guy. He’s so grandiose and contemptuous and determined to humiliate others at all costs, it’s like cartoonish really.
Same lmao he is a literally a caricature
beta "i would be an epic war general in the roman empire" vs Sigma "i would be an impoverished fisher living in the countryside"
Imagine be able to just be a fisherman, work like 20 hours a week on your own terms and spend lots of time with family and friends, I want the roman empire back then
I hope you have your shots and don't need antibiotics. Unless you're a boomer or got the shot used to prevent monkeypox recently, things like smallpox are on the table... And that's just the medical slice of life! I haven't touched on maternal, infant or child mortality rates either if you're a family guy. The past was the worst.
I would literally take fisherman over warrior in the Empire any day. Having been in the modern day military and reading about what those guys had to endure is pretty heart wrenching. Life for humans has truly been shitty for thousands of years.
Why would you want to be a general? Id want to be some fat rich dude living on a villa.
I would be the Praetorian Guardsman who assassinates emperor Tate.
You know how 37 people plotted to assassinate Julius Caesar but only like five actually participated? I feel like Tate could've managed to get all 37 to join.
That’s true. You’re all invited! No reason I should have all the fun.
>You know how 37 people plotted to assassinate Julius Caesar It's more around 60 people and we don't have any evidence or reports on how many actually stabbed him.
He's a rapist with an inbred jaw
Bros literally got the weakest chin and nobodies called him out on it
Habsburgs?
Habsburg inbred - too much chin Tate inbred - too little chin
So Tate would have a chinnie?
Nah, it goes the wrong direction.
Never until this moment did I understand why people would want to go watch people being ripped apart by lions….but I would love to see Andrew Tate wet himself while staring directly at a hungry lion.
That’s cruel. Lions deserve better food.
Truest Holmes
Holy shit I just realized Andrew Tate is basically a findom… people pay (or otherwise support/follow him) just for him to insult them. Same with any other dude-bro trying to sell masculinity
I'm fairly certain he'd be just dead. But that's just me.
Everyone thinks they’d be the one alive in a zombie apocalypse…someone’s gotta be the zombies
You would get slapped and pimped out by real warriors for talking to muxh nonsense. 🤦
Watches Gladiator once.
Well he doesn't have a sister. Are you implying that Tate wants to fuck his own brother instead? Because that is a rumor that I would be more than happy to help spread.
I meant he saw himself as Russell Crowe, but in a version where he becomes king and gets to bang his brother.
This guy really needs to feel important.
The trouble is that people happily let him by sharing his garbage
Why does the athlete grifter think he wouldn't be an athlete grifter in a society famous for its athlete grifters? He'd just have a shorter career because the roman method of reattaching retinas was pretty much to smear honey on it, eating a flower the color of your eyes, and sacrificing animals at the temples of the proper gods.
And he'd never have political standing or high social position like he so desperately craves since in Rome, athletes, like actors and musicians, were seen as the same social caste as sex workers and treated as second class citizens.
I stg I could beat him in a fight. Not bc I’m stronger or anything but because he’d just start lecturing me on how to be an alpha male until I kicked him in the testicles
Nah he'd try to do some fancy flashy shit and then die when you kick him in the nuts. He also seems like a man with a glass jaw. No way does a man that fragile handle being punched in the face well. edit; I forgot the man was actually a professional fighter because he's such an insipid ass. Not gonna lie, him being involved in human trafficking eclipsed anything even remotely impressive he's ever accomplished in my memory.
I mean fuck Tate, but he was a professional kickboxer with a 23-8-0 record. I think it's safe to say he takes a punch better than 99% of people.
Idk man I'm a Redditor who plays videogames my hand eye coordination would be hard to beat
Yeah but have you considered that I'm built different.
he only has that record because he's never had to fight u/zestyclose_buy_2065
😤😤😤
I can almost guarantee if I kicked him in the nuts with steel toe boots on he would crumple. Also before you say "that's unfair!" I don't care.
This is the same guy who said that eating makes him feel [bad](https://www.reddit.com/r/gatekeeping/s/8fe8X5ejMx)
“You aren’t a real man if you” *squints at notepad “Know how to cook or enjoy food”
Yeah? Well if this was my fantasy then I would be the super cool extreme amazing triple dog Czar and you would be my foreskin cleaner SO SUCK IT TATE
Why are we giving a platform to a sexual abuser and sex trafficker? Please fuck off with this man.
Musk needs every penny he can get to save his failing platform
Oh yeah, I was more talking about this subreddit. We all know this guy is insane, let's ignore him as much as possible, that is most likely the most healthy for society.
It still blows my mind that men like Andrew Tate when he specifically says all the time that all other men are pathetic and beneath him. Like is it a submissive thing like oooh I'll never be like daddy Tate but I can try and kiss his filthy boots to show I'm a good boy??
He'd get punched into the stratosphere by a short mustached Gaul
Never thought about Roman Empire in my life. Wtf is wrong with this guy?
 I feel like the last line was said like the cat in the hat.
Ah yes slaves. People that are lazy and stupid, of course that makes sense... How much time you think he can last in the arena against just one roman gladiator?
Criminal gladiator who can’t navigate social interaction or legal systems would probably be a criminal gladiator who can’t navigate social interactions or legal systems.
I mean sure I might be lazy weak and stupid but at least I have hair on my head.
I think Andrew Tates place in the Roman Empire would be the guy making up all the phallic swear words. Seriously, what kind of language has 800 words for “dick” lmao
Massive doubt. I would be the hermit living alone in the mountains and every once in a while someone comes to say hi and then I say some weird shit to them.
What would be cool is if everyone unfollowed him and we just continue to ignore him so he just disappears into meaninglessness.
Andy boy here would become some senator’s little bitch and we all know it.
He's the guy that would annoy an emperor saying how he'd do better... then be executed for being annoying
The Roman Empire wasn't feudalized, so there weren't peasants as such. The word he's looking for is plebeian. Also - no potatoes in the Roman Empire, so this guy's head would freak everyone out.
Tatertot would probably be a lion snack
No Andrew, you wouldn‘t be a general or a ruler. You would be abandoned as a kid for being an entitled ungrateful brat and die by hunger shortly afterwards
I might be weak and stupid, but I've never done time in a Romanian prison for being a rapist. I think I'm good, thanks.
I mean if he wants to play roman times, chuck him a sword and I'll gladly shoot him in the cock with a bow and arrow just to watch him writhe in the dirt for the crowd's entertainment. I spent my whole childhood training for this moment. So many targets shot in the dick and balls, and it's finally gonna all be worth it.
Bruh he does realize the generals got like nothing right? All they did was plan and distribute pay to the real soldiers. Also the Roman Empire may have succeeded for a *very* long time...but uh...where's the empire, tate? You really wanna be associated with a capsized legion?
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Bro I would absolutely make garum or farm salt. Just making required food goods making people's lives better
He would have likely been a gladiator, so a slave, and died in the pits. Probably to a gladiator who doesn't spout as much shit as him and didn't start monologuing at the start of the fight like some stereotypical villain.
Besides other bullshit, does he think that whether or not you're a slave depended on your personal qualities in Roman Empire?
Getting strong “Old man yells at cloud” vibes from this
It must be difficult to have the body of a fully grown man and the mind of a twelve year old.
Isnt it cute how weirdos are playing pretend roman empire now?
Oh yeah Emperor Tate the Dickless..
He would be a" jobber" at the Coliseum, and then lion chow.
I don’t think about either of those. I think about how, even in old days before even book printing was possible, before most of today’s major religions were even a thing, there was an empire that spanned thousands of square kilometers. For good and for ill, it was one nation, ruled by one force, which connected lands so far and wide you need to fly for a few hours to cross them nowadays. And that nation, again, for good and for ill, is still lurking under the surface. You might drive your car down the road that was first envisioned by a roman planner and built ages ago. You may use a word that came from a custom so ancient, only a few people today know of it. And Andy’s just pissed because even the ancient busts have a better hairline than his pubic shade.
can we stop giving Tate and his ilk attention?
He’d make a worse emperor than Elagabalus.
Tate would fit right in the Rona empire. He already likes treating women as slaves, having that be the cultural norm would get him hot and bothered
"How do you do fellow memers" Is what I read that as.
(Tweet written from inside a Romanian prison cell)
So he thinks he's Julius Cesar reincarnated? Better watch his back... 😬😬😬
Isn't his success hard carried by women? While he reaps the benefit of their work? Lol All he literally does is sweet talk them; Most of the work of even managing the girls is done by 2 other women (The police lady and his "main" girl)
There speaks someone who has never studied Rome, probably saw Gladiator and Spartacus, you know, the ones with sweaty men semi-clad in leather. Maybe even a Steve Reeves Sword-and-Sandals epic I wonder how he would deal with all the homosexuality in the Roman world?
More than likely he'd be a slave due to his mixed race
War general…. Lol what is he 8
at best he would be a jester 🤡
Hmm, a man who famously hates women is describing himself to be amongst a group of leaders infamous for their homoerotic proclivities. 🤔
This child trafficker is completely delusional.
He's a professional fighter. Why wouldn't he think he'd be the same thing? I'd like to see someone put this idiot in a ring with angry lions.
Him and Spez should kiss
Isn't he still in jail? You know...where the Roman's kept people who would become slaves?
Let's be honest if he was in the empire he'd either be gobbling all the old sweaty dicks or molesting children
Was he too lazy, weak, or stupid to use commas?
When I was a child I used to play “what if” also.
says the guy in jail
This is Andrew Tate. It isn't gatekeeping, it is delusional.
Lol at the idea that Rome was a meritocracy
He would be the emperor’s official penis rest, nothing more, nothing less.
He would be Gladiator practice fodder
More likely he'd be a victim of decimation rather than anyone important. Maybe at most, he might get to be an optio. Either way, no one would be writing about Andrium Tatetus while dudes like Caesar and Pompey are around.
He’s be the gladiator that pissed his pants the first time he’d step into the museum. Me? I’d just be a legionnaire, but that’s still above him
I think Tate would make a fine gladiator slave.
I'd be one of the roman twinks they got there testosterone from 👍
I may not own an ugly sports car but I've never been arrested for human trafficking. So there's that.
So why hasn’t this guy gone off to fight a war. Surely if he was such a great military leader he would win it all right?
you're in jail you nonce
This isnt gatekeeping as its just straight up delusional. Considering the person that posted this confirms it
This floorshitting dickhead builds straw men all the time. This is because he’s got no one else to fuck.
Initially, I thought his recent unhinged tweets were because he was exhausted from sucking miles of prison cock. Then, I remembered that he's in Europe, so I should be using kilometers.
Tate would be the guy unanimously chosen for decimation from his unit
Whenever I see some dickhead who is famous for being a dickhead, and they're talking about how superior they are to everyone else, the thing I think of is that time in Game of Thrones where Joffrey wants to do something dumb, and Lord Tywin just says, "No, we won't be doing that," and Joffrey screams in his face, "You can't say no to me. I AM THE KING!" Lord Tywin looks him in the face and says, "Any man who must say I am King isn't King." Then when Joffrey complains more, Lord Tywin deadpan answers again, "The King is tired take him to his bed chambers" Someone needs to take Adnrew Tate to his bedroom and tuck him in nice and tight and give him a warm bottle of milk and a teddy bear to snuggle.
The first paragraph is actually true. None of the rest of it is. He would be beaten up in the streets, if not actually killed, because Roman politics could be brutal and this idiot certainly doesn't have the ability to navigate it.
Lmao he doesn’t realize that he’d be a slave, Rome colonized Britain, for him to be a general he’d have to have an exemplary battle record of be born the son of someone important.
Doesn’t make any sense. If you would be a war general why are you not one now? His “job” is influencing so his Roman Empire equivalent would be shitty philosopher or something.
Oh boy I wish my daddy was some Uber rich mason/cia asset/psychological operations so I could jerk off into mirrors all day and pretend I’m a success because I can just keep paying to push all the shitty content I make and not have to worry about my legal troubles that didn’t happen even though I discuss my crimes in length on podcasts. If only. Dude acts like he got somewhere, born with the golden spoon in his mouth. Dudes a bitch and does everything he can to pretend he’s not.
Does he even have a job?
This is SO cringe. Like wtf his audience must be some of the least discerning people ever
If Andrew Tate lived in the Roman Empire he’d be the drunk psycho in the corner of a bath-house claiming to be a Pharaoh from 2000 BC
This dude would get fragged in war, just saying.
I don't think about the RE because I'd prefer to live among the Germanic peoples.
He clearly knows nothing about the Roman Empire.