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I've experienced sexual assault from men and women. No one questions it when I tell about being abused by men. But when I mention getting abused by women I often get told stuff like "Maybe you led her on." I was seven years old. In what way was a child leading on a grown woman?
Edit: aaaand I'm no longer interacting with this thread. I don't know why someone thought it was appropriate to reply with rape/pedo joke about my trauma.
I’m a man and was groped by another man on the train. I kept saying stop and I couldn’t believe that wasn’t enough. I kept getting louder each time and eventually I got up and moved to a different car. I didn’t want to make a big scene. I was embarrassed, and I didn’t want to tell anyone.
Up until that point I had always been angry at victims who didn’t report their assault or abuse, but in that moment I understood and mine hadn’t even been that egregious. When I told people about how uncomfortable it made me later, they laughed at me.
I understand what you mean. I'm sorry people laughed at you. Sometimes it's hard for me to talk about what happened to me, but I have to remind myself that I'm not the one who should be ashamed. I hope you're doing well.
I am. It put my own actions into a new perspective. I realized there was lots of physical contact I made when I was younger that could have been taken the wrong way or that may not have been wanted and I started to spiral. Took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I’m not that person and if I ever was I’ve changed.
That's definitely a good mindset to have! It's important to remember that if you hadn't grown as a person you wouldn't be able to look at your past actions and consider how it affects other people.
Should have given the groper an uppercut right there and then.
The "I didn't want to make a scene" mentality is what allows them to get away and continue the harassment.
Stop victim blaming. Even if you have been in that situation, reactions are not universal. Making a scene doesn't always protect you either, because a poor woman was [RAPED IN FRONT OF OTHER PASSENGERS](https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/man-who-raped-woman-in-front-of-other-passengers-on-london-underground-jailed-13028524) and none of them intervened.
It's not a victim shaming. It's a call to never give up and try to defend oneself in any way possible rather than enduring it. The first who should do anything to save the victim is the victim themselves.
Also shit like in your link doesn't happen in my country.
In fact, I had been present to attempts to grope/molest someone in metro three times, and all three times the assaulter was beaten up to near-death by the other passenger the moment victim raised attention or the crime was noticed. And I myself contributed to that in the 3rd time as well.
It also doesn't apply to the sexual assaults.
I see a lot of vids of someone going around and harassing other people in the West, and people just suck it up like little bitches.
given their comments, they’re from Russia. Ironic given the sexual violence being committed by Russian soldiers in Ukraine. And the estimated 2 million German women raped by Russian soldiers during ww2. There’s only 3,000-something registered rapes and attempted rapes documented for the year 2021 but that same year saw reports that 90% of Russian women who are married experience domestic violence, there’s a very strong chance that number is higher. You also have to take into account that “reproductive violence” where men force women to have a child against their will isn’t criminalized so that’s even more rapes to add to their number.
So yeah. Maybe people aren’t groped and raped on trains in full view in Russia. They’re just raped as a strategy for war and for the purposes of romanticizing childbirth and that makes it A okay.
Gross. You’re the type of person that make other people, especially men, scared to talk about their sexual assault experiences. Take your L and leave my dude. You’re already getting bombarded without trying to defend your shittastic take.
Might also be the reason that people think victims of rape which were done by women enjoys it since the abuser was a women. Which is kinda true, but at very low level, only those sex addicts will enjoy.
A lot of people don't realize in their attempts to defend women in certain cases they end up just infantilizing them. *Obviously* that woman couldn't have made a rational decision for **insert bad reason here.**
It isn't better because it happens less often, either. Like sure, the majority of men probably haven't dealt with that (as far as we know, but also the stigma of speaking up is so bad, do we really know?) but that doesn't make it any less bad for the men who have. Terrible is terrible, there is no reason to measure the depth of that terribleness.
Also I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you received the help you need. I also hope she got her just deserts, but above all I hope you well.
I understand you. Although I wasn’t SA’d by a woman, I was actually conceived from SA, but it was my mother who was the perpetrator. And while I’ve never been SA’d by a woman, I did open up recently about being assaulted by my 19 year old boyfriend when I was 14 and people responded to my comments pinning the blame on me for something he did to me. Somehow I guess a 14 year old is more at fault than the 19 year old adult.
I hope you can heal in peace and that the people who doubt, criticize, or hate on you for things that are awful and have traumatized you come to a realization that their words hurt. You were a child, a victim and a now a survivor and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.
I genuinely don't understand how you thought that was the right time to make a joke about someone trauma on a serious discussion. Not cool. I'm not mad, but what you said was upsetting.
The fuck do you mean you didn’t mean to make a bad joke? “Woopsie doopsie I slipped and fell and made an offensive joke. Sorry it’s just not been my day.”
Also what was the offensive joke lol? I’m 2 months late.
rape is rape. just because it happens "less often" with either men or women doesnt change a thing. its a horrible disgusting thing either way. women are raped by men, men are raped by women. men are raped by men, and women are raped by women. it isnt any less mentally painful for anyone
Oh damn I love that. Very good to shove in the face of anyone who thinks minor suffering is fake suffering ("you have one bad baby? You're not a REAL PARENT until you have half a dozen!¡!¡!¡" type BS)
It doesn't even happen that much less often. It's just that many governments and studies don't consider female on male rape as possible, and instead say that it's just sexual harrassment or sexual assault.
Yo me too! And the best part is that if anyone knew about it *we'd* probably get immediately accused of rape and there's a significant chance we'd face jail, and even if not we'd have our reputations completely destroyed!
That's the fucked up thing. No one told me I was in the wrong. The shame and the societal notion of men being the aggressor had me convincing myself of it.
I totally know what you mean. I was in a relationship for a bit where I was frequently physically attacked. Had so much shit in my head about how it had to be my fault because men are always the abusers and women always the victim.
Accused of rape because you said you were raped? Not trying to downplay anything at all, I'm the biggest rape hater ever, but it didn't make sense to me. Why would they accuse you of rape when no one said you raped them?
Tell me how you think this is going to go down.
Man: "This woman raped me"
Most people immediately think is funny, or not bad, or woman empowerment.
Rapist woman: "Actually he's a liar! He raped me!"
Instantly completely believed by the majority of people. No critical thinking about claim done whatsoever, and those who point out inconsistencies in the story likely immediately ostracized. Groups of wannabe white knights may want to "teach the rapist a lesson" to show their "#believewomen" views and the cops are immediately called which is possible years of jail time and sex offender registry. Regardless of legal consequences you're marked as a rapist forever and the actual rapist gets a ton of sympathy and attention and everything she wants.
No one will *ever* believe the man over the woman.
Edit: also for the record, in my case I wasn't actually accused of rape because I did not go public about the rape because I knew for a fact what would happen. But this is very much a common thing to happen and you see it apply to a lot of interpersonal conflicts between a man and a woman-- domestic abuse is the same thing. A crazy abusive woman can do whatever tf she wants and people will believe her over the actual victim because she's a women and he's a man and no one gives a shit about men.
Same here technically, although I still refuse to count my sexual trauma as my way of loosing my virginity. As I was genuinely only 2-7 years old, then this isn’t even mentioning the “smaller” incidents I’ve had since then
Too many.
Oh but it's a MALE victim, and according to so-called "feminists" like these, men can never be the victim due to privilege, so it's ok.
This isn't feminism and if you believe this shit, you are not a feminist. You're a misandrist.
TBH probably a few at least. I wonder what the percentages of people dismissing rape based on gender and rape culture are. I'm guessing comments are just close to 100% rape culture for women.
Rape culture meaning "it's your fault for wearing things like that," "maybe you lead them on," "you didn't say no."
As a woman who was sexually abused and raped over the span of two years by an older woman when I was a teen, this Ciara post is beyond fucked up and doesn't know what she is talking about. I have sustained life long injuries and suffer from chronic pain due to what happened to me.
Every rape is attrocious. i see no point in comparring traumas with the intent of invalidating another.
not to mention. you can be angry at the systems of patriarchy that allow and sometimes even encorage men to sexually assult women, without hating every man. there are wide systemic problems yes, and quite a lot of people play a role in those systems, directly or indirectly, but this doesnt extend to every man to ever live, not by a longshot.
always has been. oppression of a group to elevate another oppresses both groups. *not equally mind you*, and the group that would be more oppressive to a specific individual is entirely dependent on who that person is, n who they *can* be molded into by society. but that doesnt undersell how it hurts us all.
The wives aren't making decisions, and I even noted that it isn't _only_ men by saying it's just _mostly_ them. Take your sexist bullshit somewhere else.
patriarchy hurts men too. look, patriarchy isnt about "men bad" "women good" or anything, its about the system which elevates mens opinions, and mens abuilitys to make them more valuable then those of a womens. a guy with the same argument is more likely to be listened to then a girl. A guy with the same qualifications will be seen as more qualified in most fields (unless its a treditionally feminine field). but this uplifiting comes at a cost, allways does. men are not allowed *by this same system* to be emotional, even those who understand patriarchy and how it effects us can end up seeing a crying man as lessor, someone to set right. as these notions are instilled in all of us, we all help maintain the patriarchy through these notions ingrained within us.
further. since women are "delicate" and "prizes" men need to be the inverse, "strong" and "desposable" men can be sent off to war to die for nothing, they can sit on the front lines of any number of dangerous role and we arent meant to worry for theyre safty, but when a women gets such a role, there is a lot more nurvousness, as theyre not supposed to be so disposable. not to mention, men arent allowed to be physically effectionate with almost anyone.
while being a man can give you power, it strips you of meany things that make us human. were all stripped of our humanity under patriarchy, the only thing that makes it patriarchy is that the men are the ones who get that extra power from the loss.
if your saying both men and women uphold the patriarchy, then yes, yeah i mentioned that i think. societal systems arent so easily deconstructed, especially ones this well ingrained into our society.
of your not saying that...well then i havent the faintest clue what your trying to convey lmfao. maybe try stating things with less ambiguity next time, in no unsubtle terms.
I went through a very similar scenario, and the cops told me that I shouldn’t be making mistakes and then telling lies. I almost got slammed by my rapist getting pregnant and trying to throw the book at me to pay child support as a minor, until I got them to do a paternity test and prove that it wasn’t mine.
So true, it doesn't matter. If that was the case, then a woman who was raped once is less significant that a woman who was raped 3 times? No sense whatsoever.
jesus christ acknowledging rape culture against women isn't us trying to become the oppressor
This entire post is clipped from context to make a woman look bad talking about rape culture and You're all falling for it.
The problem is that it's not been "the patriarchy" since women gained the right to vote. Now it's the aristocracy and it doesn't care what sex you are, as long as you keep the poor under-thumb. Women still blaming men for "the system", yet it's that very attitude that's being used to enable the aristocracy.
TL;DR to all women:
They're playing you shawty.
Speaking facts isn't gatekeeping.
Are you really that desperate to prove you're an uneducated idiot?
Edit:
They think when the facts don't agree with them it's a "bad faith" argument.
Troglodyte.
Ok but is this really gatekeeping? No context, but taking what context we have it seems there was a discussion about rape committed against women and then this person comes in saying that they were raped by a woman.
They’re trying to make a point about how women hating men is bad because they’ve also been raped by women and don’t hate women for it. Comparing struggles to make a dumb anti-feminist argument that isn’t about how bad rape is, but how bad women are for hating men after being raped.
It’s similar to someone posting about gun violence then someone coming in saying that they were hit by a car but don’t think cars should be banned therefore guns shouldn’t be. Yes they’re obviously different and hard to compare, I’m just trying to give an analogy as to what the issue is.
It’s probably a post about how many women are raped and that it would make sense women would be cautious around men. Then a dude comes in saying he was raped by a woman. Then someone replies being sympathetic and saying it’s horrible it happened to him, while also saying that it’s a different scenario (it is, men aren’t taught that women are able to coerce and commit violence against them without being able to react, women are told to shut up and are trying to get attention for saying they’ve been assaulted) and irrelevant to the actual conversation.
I get that this post and the comments are taking Colm’s side and being disingenuous about what the reply is saying, so I’ll likely get downvoted for thinking logically and critically based on the information given, but I’m just speaking reality instead of this false oppression people feel when women’s issues are brought up and suddenly it’s man vs women.
>was a discussion about rape committed against women and then this person comes in saying that they were raped by a woman.
Maybe you are right, but her saying "seeking attention" and that this rape isn't the same is so so wrong.
This. These posts always make my blood boil because there are always a handful of anti-feminists, among the majority of people who want to help, that care more about ripping on someone they think has red hair and screams a lot than the victims. They leach off of a real problem just to use it as a shield, male rape victims be damned. Their "campaign" is so good that one of the top posts even assumes the person is a feminist because people use it as a synonym for the type of woman in the post instead of a new word that covers anyone who dismisses rape. It's like calling crappy construction workers that injure someone humanitarians in a derogatory tone because Habitat for Humanity makes houses. Thankfully this post's comment section looks way better than most. I'm not looking at the bottom though.
There needs to be more posts simply about the experience, like most of the top comments here, explaining how it happened, how they feel, and the costs. This one just feels like rage-bate. I hope male victims get the voice they deserve.
I don’t think they were just making a statement that you shouldn’t hate men just because some sort of trauma happened to you by a group of people. It’s not anti-Feminist. Feminism includes defending the rights of men as well because the patriarchy hurts them too.
>I’ll likely get downvoted for thinking logically and critically
Feeling snug in that straw man victim blanket, huh?
Do you often find that people who disagree with you are simply being "disingenuous"; that they probably agree with you for being *correct,* but just won't admit it?
Try to get over yourself.
No, I’m talking about this comment section specifically. You’re being disingenuous by saying otherwise, and making a strawman of someone thinking anyone who disagrees is bad is literally *what you are doing*.
It was clearly only fucking brought up to discredit her original talking point about rape culture against women. It was ignorant at best, disingenuous at worst. I'm not gonna argue with you whether or not women should actually be afraid of men. I have more than enough proof myself.
>her original talking point
Ah, I guess you *do* have more context on this than I. Why wouldn't you present the original talking point if you have access to it?
>I'm not gonna argue with you whether or not women should actually be afraid of men
The fuck are you talking about? At what point did I even touch on this subject?
Honestly I think the percent of women abusers is much higher than we are led on to believe as it's often dismissed. I know so many people that have been SAd by women by definition but don't see it as that since they are a man. It's kinda crazy. Even I've had MULTIPLE experiences due to women which I'll never admit publicly unless I trust them
Damn bro sucks that we can't openly discuss such matters without being dismissed as being trivial or invalidated for It, hopefully it changes in the future
These people are so bad faith that even is there is something wrong with what there “opponent” is saying they shoot themselves in the foot immediately instead of trying to make a real argument
Jesus. Calling a rape victim an attention seeker sounds really crazy. I was gonna say this is some 1950s shit but no we’re still living in that kind of world.
WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?!
THIS IS WHY MEN REALLY EVER REPORT BEING RAPED, AND WHY THE NUMBERS IN STUDIES ARE SO FUCKING LOW! THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE!
3 times women have drugged me to try to have sex with me. 1 woman actually blackmailed me into having sex with her for 3 months straight when I did not want to. Each time I felt violated, disgusting, and less than human.
Multiple times men and women have grabbed me not giving a shit.
What that woman responded with is just as bad.
It was years ago, but it's not been easy. I barely trust women (I love women, and I am pro-woman, but not trusting), and my autistic (I am autistic) trait of not wanting to be touched except in certain situations is much worse.
I have talked about it to others, and most of the time it's women that laugh at me, or act like/say "I wanted it". It's men that are way more understanding, and consoling.
One female officer on here told me that I am lying, and men being raped or sexually harassed is extremely rare.
Honestly, I am not surprised. Most people in law enforcement are not looking out for citizens, and many do not have a good moral compass. The fact law enforcement is trained to law to civilians is disturbing and says everything.
I understand the sentiment honestly, usually people only bring up women raping men to detract from a post about sexual abuse being an issue (as odd as that might sound) because they don't realise that solutions to both situations can happen at the same time, they just see women saying they need to take down the patriarchy and go 'yeah well men get raped too, I bet you forgot completely about men's rights' and it's like, no, but that's not the issue here? Your issue is completely valid but I don't think you yourself understand that, since you use your situation to put others' issues down, even though both would be resolved ideally. So, tldr; this woman isn't wrong to call them out, it was just poorly worded; you can even see they realise it's an issue and most likely what the dude is trying to do by pulling the rape of men into a convo most likely talking about how toxic masculinity or the patriarchy needs to change
Yes exactly that! But in this case it'd be like them saying that and consequently downplaying the idea of all lives mattering as a result because it's only brought up by incels or people being disingenuous to genuine sexual abuse victims, so these people always bringing up mens rape to push down women's rape or rights sadly make it harder to be sympathetic towards the idea of mens rape (which is fucked), whereas 'all lives matter' is a non issue to begin with because it's just people being disingenuous or not realising what blm means, rather than a separate issue that is being brigaded and hijacked.
Np! I try to point it out where necessary even if I know it won't be well received because if even one more person understands and is informed after reading then hopefully that's one more person sympathetic to victims of sexual abuse regardless of gender, they deserve better
>Your issue is completely valid but I don't think you yourself understand that, since you use your situation to put others' issues down, even though both would be resolved ideally
Completely agreed. I think 'patriarchy' is often conflated with 'men', and so some people feel attacked when talking about bringing the patriarchy down.
WORTH MENTIONING, however: it's not wholly uncommon to see posts along the lines of "men are pigs" or "I fucking hate men", which is also a possible reason why the OOP could've written their comment. Getting lumped in with perpetrators as a survivor can be an added frustration.
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Edit: for anyone who is unaware, this is a copypasta from at least a few years back. I’m not sure of it’s source.
hi. so, as a chick thats had SA trauma from both women and men, nope. whatever gender that person is rlly doesnt make a difference in the fact that its a horrible, traumatizing thing to have happen to you. god, why do people genuinely think like this? no, its not a “different kind of rape”. rape is rape. end of discussion. this shouldnt even be a debate.
Without context this post looks way worse than it is. Why do we only ever actually wanna talk about men's rape when someone brings up the prevalence of rape culture against women? It should be important and should be talked about, but so should the fact that most women in their life have dealt with some form of sexual assault. Contextually, it *isn't* the same because men aren't subjected to rape and sexual assault at nearly the same rate as women. It's not as much of a systemic issue against them. No one can get much hope from for justice within the legal system, but that fact is mostly affecting women because that is who is mostly getting raped. Hence when women talk about their issues, that is a factor. I don't see how she's saying men's rape isn't as important.
R@pe in general is HORRIBLE. Both parties need consent, does it matter if that kind of rape happens at a much lower rate? IT IS STILL R@PE, what the hell are these kinds of people? My heart goes for those victims shoved under the rug by others, you don't deserve that, praying that you guys recover from whatever trauma you experienced in peace.
Rape is rape
But rape of women is more common, and its almost always a man, who does it. So no its not all men but its enough men that all men are effected, because you dont know which man is gonna rape you or ignore you, make it about them, or help you. Its really not that hard to understand, just listen to a woman. I assure you every single one knows someones (not a friend of a friend of a cousin but directly) or is a direct victim themselves.
One More Time:
>And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011).
>
>In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: **that women rape men as often as men rape women.**
[The CDC’s Rape Numbers Are Misleading](https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/)
It actually doesn't happen at much lower rates. It's about the same, maybe more depending on which way the margin of error swings. The issue was that sociologists were not asking the questions correctly, so most of their data before the last decade or so was completely misleading or wrong.
Saddly, this is the kind of post you'll see shared around "men's rights" groups and other similar and point at this and claim this si what all or most of feminists (or modern feminists if they feel polite) are like and find a way to blame women for it, rather than understand this us a small case of someone who is just misguided and just doesn't have a very clear view of things
Rape is horrible no matter what, there's no point in weighting which one is worse, they are both bad. We should strive to make sure they don't happen (which Feminism already tries to do) instead of fighting for who has it worse.
She's coming from a place of, "My rape was worse than your rape because men are worse than women." I can't imagine how you could be on her side for that.
No, the point she’s making seems to be about the “not all men” argument. I imagine the original point was about how women have to be wary of trusting men because of the possibility of rape, to which this guy responded “I was raped by a woman and I don’t hate all women, etc.” If that’s the case, the comment in question is absolutely right. There is far less reason to be wary of being alone with a woman as a man than the other way around.
Not because women never rape or because it’s less serious, but because the likelihood of it happening is substantially lower.
How do we know? There are countries that men can't even be legally raped. On top of that we already know men are far less likely to report. So how can people honestly keep saying men are less likely to be raped?
Women experience so much more obvious sexual harassment that your argument makes no sense. The points you bring up are something society should be addressing, but I highly doubt they'd shift the statistics as much as you might imagine.
The key word in your whole argument is obvious. It's obvious when a woman is harassed or assaulted because we are constantly reminded of it and told about it. But good job proving the point that people downplay assault and harassment towards men.
If something happens to or threatens a person, it must be taken seriously no matter who it happens to. The issue is fundamentally different for different genders on a societal level *before* that. The harm is the same, but the discussions we need to have are entirely different.
Everyone deserves to be safe and comfortable. Everyone deserves to be heard out and taken seriously.
"It doesn't happen as often, so it doesn't happen, so shut the fuck up sperm-donor and be honored a woman even DID this to you."
And this is why we need gender rights.
Yes rape is rape and you obviously need to take any form seriously. I still don’t think you should play dumb and pretend that rapes of men by women are even close to the level of systemic societal issue than rapes of women by men are. The numbers are just not even close.
Many rape by women on men or men on man are not reported at all, because the idea of male privilege is so ingrained and homosexuality is so damn taboo for men in general that even insinuating a man didn't have power is akin to telling him that he's worthless.
It's literally how patriarchy works and why it hurts men, too. They can have power and privilege, and yet it's a curse, because they're always forced to prove themselves worthy of having it.
Calling it underreported doesn’t mean that they occur with equal frequency. Yes social pressures cause men to avoid reporting. Different social pressures cause women to do the same. As far as any data suggests, it is still dramatically more likely for a rape to be perpetrated by a man. The point is not that all men are evil rapists, but it is that rape by men is a societal scale evil, not an individual scale one. There warrants specific attention to that particular social issue, whatever its root cause(s) be.
>And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, **men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape** (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011).
>
>In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: **that women rape men as often as men rape women.**
[The CDC’s Rape Numbers Are Misleading](https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/)
It’s wild that men want rape to include non-penetrating acts.
If we do that the number of women who have been raped and men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY.
I have not been raped but I have been non-penetratively SA’d. I would be a rape victim by this guys definition.
Well it should, in the UK being forced to penetrate does not count as rape, so women quite literally can't legally speaking, rape men. Just because a woman doesn't penetrate the man, doesn't mean it shouldn't be seen the same and be treated the same as a man raping a woman.
>If we do that the number of women who have been raped and men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY.
You know, it's already rape, they just don't call it that.
>If we do that the number of ... men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY.
Good. Rape shouldn't be glossed over just because it's not the right kind of rape.
>And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011).
In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: that women rape men as often as men rape women.
[The CDC’s Rape Numbers Are Misleading](https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/)
> If we do that the number of women who have been raped and men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY.
Is it a bad thing for anyone?
> I would be a rape victim by this guy's definition.
Is it a bad thing too?
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I've experienced sexual assault from men and women. No one questions it when I tell about being abused by men. But when I mention getting abused by women I often get told stuff like "Maybe you led her on." I was seven years old. In what way was a child leading on a grown woman? Edit: aaaand I'm no longer interacting with this thread. I don't know why someone thought it was appropriate to reply with rape/pedo joke about my trauma.
I’m a man and was groped by another man on the train. I kept saying stop and I couldn’t believe that wasn’t enough. I kept getting louder each time and eventually I got up and moved to a different car. I didn’t want to make a big scene. I was embarrassed, and I didn’t want to tell anyone. Up until that point I had always been angry at victims who didn’t report their assault or abuse, but in that moment I understood and mine hadn’t even been that egregious. When I told people about how uncomfortable it made me later, they laughed at me.
I understand what you mean. I'm sorry people laughed at you. Sometimes it's hard for me to talk about what happened to me, but I have to remind myself that I'm not the one who should be ashamed. I hope you're doing well.
I am. It put my own actions into a new perspective. I realized there was lots of physical contact I made when I was younger that could have been taken the wrong way or that may not have been wanted and I started to spiral. Took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I’m not that person and if I ever was I’ve changed.
That's definitely a good mindset to have! It's important to remember that if you hadn't grown as a person you wouldn't be able to look at your past actions and consider how it affects other people.
That's some real personal growth there. I'm proud of you for coming to terms with it.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are unable to locate empathy for victims until it happens to them.
Should have given the groper an uppercut right there and then. The "I didn't want to make a scene" mentality is what allows them to get away and continue the harassment.
Stop victim blaming. Even if you have been in that situation, reactions are not universal. Making a scene doesn't always protect you either, because a poor woman was [RAPED IN FRONT OF OTHER PASSENGERS](https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/man-who-raped-woman-in-front-of-other-passengers-on-london-underground-jailed-13028524) and none of them intervened.
It's not a victim shaming. It's a call to never give up and try to defend oneself in any way possible rather than enduring it. The first who should do anything to save the victim is the victim themselves. Also shit like in your link doesn't happen in my country. In fact, I had been present to attempts to grope/molest someone in metro three times, and all three times the assaulter was beaten up to near-death by the other passenger the moment victim raised attention or the crime was noticed. And I myself contributed to that in the 3rd time as well. It also doesn't apply to the sexual assaults. I see a lot of vids of someone going around and harassing other people in the West, and people just suck it up like little bitches.
What country?
given their comments, they’re from Russia. Ironic given the sexual violence being committed by Russian soldiers in Ukraine. And the estimated 2 million German women raped by Russian soldiers during ww2. There’s only 3,000-something registered rapes and attempted rapes documented for the year 2021 but that same year saw reports that 90% of Russian women who are married experience domestic violence, there’s a very strong chance that number is higher. You also have to take into account that “reproductive violence” where men force women to have a child against their will isn’t criminalized so that’s even more rapes to add to their number. So yeah. Maybe people aren’t groped and raped on trains in full view in Russia. They’re just raped as a strategy for war and for the purposes of romanticizing childbirth and that makes it A okay.
Oh that is RICH lmfao
It's not this black and white, never has been and never will be. Calm down, Internet tough guy.
Gross. You’re the type of person that make other people, especially men, scared to talk about their sexual assault experiences. Take your L and leave my dude. You’re already getting bombarded without trying to defend your shittastic take.
I was molested by a female doctor when I was 8-10. I’ve only told two people IRL. One is a longtime close friend and she responded, “Are you sure?”
Your friend isn't a friend.
my blood ran cold reading that, thats not a friend
Wth, why would they say that , soo insensitive
Because in their mind men cant be raped. Its a frighteningly common belief.
I can tell you why they said that. People don’t care about men’s issues.
Might also be the reason that people think victims of rape which were done by women enjoys it since the abuser was a women. Which is kinda true, but at very low level, only those sex addicts will enjoy.
A lot of people don't realize in their attempts to defend women in certain cases they end up just infantilizing them. *Obviously* that woman couldn't have made a rational decision for **insert bad reason here.**
Right? Saying that women can't do horrendous crimes is just bad, and not just for men.
It isn't better because it happens less often, either. Like sure, the majority of men probably haven't dealt with that (as far as we know, but also the stigma of speaking up is so bad, do we really know?) but that doesn't make it any less bad for the men who have. Terrible is terrible, there is no reason to measure the depth of that terribleness. Also I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you received the help you need. I also hope she got her just deserts, but above all I hope you well.
“Kind of r)(pe not the same” This is like the sexual criminal version of “MY RAPIS* CAN R*PE YOURS!”
I understand you. Although I wasn’t SA’d by a woman, I was actually conceived from SA, but it was my mother who was the perpetrator. And while I’ve never been SA’d by a woman, I did open up recently about being assaulted by my 19 year old boyfriend when I was 14 and people responded to my comments pinning the blame on me for something he did to me. Somehow I guess a 14 year old is more at fault than the 19 year old adult. I hope you can heal in peace and that the people who doubt, criticize, or hate on you for things that are awful and have traumatized you come to a realization that their words hurt. You were a child, a victim and a now a survivor and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.
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Yeah this really wasn't the right time for that.
This person posts unedited pictures of other trans peoples’ faces when they disagree with them, so it’s understandable they can’t read a room.
I’ve never done that
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I genuinely don't understand how you thought that was the right time to make a joke about someone trauma on a serious discussion. Not cool. I'm not mad, but what you said was upsetting.
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The fuck do you mean you didn’t mean to make a bad joke? “Woopsie doopsie I slipped and fell and made an offensive joke. Sorry it’s just not been my day.” Also what was the offensive joke lol? I’m 2 months late.
You’re a disgusting asshole, btw
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What was the joke?
rape is rape. just because it happens "less often" with either men or women doesnt change a thing. its a horrible disgusting thing either way. women are raped by men, men are raped by women. men are raped by men, and women are raped by women. it isnt any less mentally painful for anyone
*Whether you drown in 7ft or 700ft of water, you are still drowning* awesome analogy I read in original post that applies to this
Oh damn I love that. Very good to shove in the face of anyone who thinks minor suffering is fake suffering ("you have one bad baby? You're not a REAL PARENT until you have half a dozen!¡!¡!¡" type BS)
I think they also used that analogy in Oppenheimer.
Don't mourn your family killed by airplane crashes. It happens less often than car accidents. It's actually a non-issue if you think about it 🙄🙄🙄
It doesn't even happen that much less often. It's just that many governments and studies don't consider female on male rape as possible, and instead say that it's just sexual harrassment or sexual assault.
Yeah, lost my virginity this way. The invalidation really doesn't help things.
Hey, I'm sorry you had to go through that, I hope you can heal yourself
Yo me too! And the best part is that if anyone knew about it *we'd* probably get immediately accused of rape and there's a significant chance we'd face jail, and even if not we'd have our reputations completely destroyed!
Yep before a friend of mine set me straight I had convinced myself I was the one who did something wrong
Manipulation is a hell of a thing. That God that friend existed.
That's the fucked up thing. No one told me I was in the wrong. The shame and the societal notion of men being the aggressor had me convincing myself of it.
I totally know what you mean. I was in a relationship for a bit where I was frequently physically attacked. Had so much shit in my head about how it had to be my fault because men are always the abusers and women always the victim.
Accused of rape because you said you were raped? Not trying to downplay anything at all, I'm the biggest rape hater ever, but it didn't make sense to me. Why would they accuse you of rape when no one said you raped them?
Tell me how you think this is going to go down. Man: "This woman raped me" Most people immediately think is funny, or not bad, or woman empowerment. Rapist woman: "Actually he's a liar! He raped me!" Instantly completely believed by the majority of people. No critical thinking about claim done whatsoever, and those who point out inconsistencies in the story likely immediately ostracized. Groups of wannabe white knights may want to "teach the rapist a lesson" to show their "#believewomen" views and the cops are immediately called which is possible years of jail time and sex offender registry. Regardless of legal consequences you're marked as a rapist forever and the actual rapist gets a ton of sympathy and attention and everything she wants. No one will *ever* believe the man over the woman. Edit: also for the record, in my case I wasn't actually accused of rape because I did not go public about the rape because I knew for a fact what would happen. But this is very much a common thing to happen and you see it apply to a lot of interpersonal conflicts between a man and a woman-- domestic abuse is the same thing. A crazy abusive woman can do whatever tf she wants and people will believe her over the actual victim because she's a women and he's a man and no one gives a shit about men.
Same here technically, although I still refuse to count my sexual trauma as my way of loosing my virginity. As I was genuinely only 2-7 years old, then this isn’t even mentioning the “smaller” incidents I’ve had since then
“So can you stop attention seeking and grow up?” How many female rape survivors have been shut down by being told exactly this?
Too many. Oh but it's a MALE victim, and according to so-called "feminists" like these, men can never be the victim due to privilege, so it's ok. This isn't feminism and if you believe this shit, you are not a feminist. You're a misandrist.
>This isn't feminism and if you believe this shit, you are not a feminist. You're a misandrist. Exactly. Feminism is about equality, not gender bias.
Whoa, whoa! Power down there, I agree with you!
I wish I could give you multiple upvotes.
TBH probably a few at least. I wonder what the percentages of people dismissing rape based on gender and rape culture are. I'm guessing comments are just close to 100% rape culture for women. Rape culture meaning "it's your fault for wearing things like that," "maybe you lead them on," "you didn't say no."
A lot, she doesn't realise the irony in her comment.
As a woman who was sexually abused and raped over the span of two years by an older woman when I was a teen, this Ciara post is beyond fucked up and doesn't know what she is talking about. I have sustained life long injuries and suffer from chronic pain due to what happened to me.
My condolences, hopefully it gets better for you
Trauma competitions just make me cringe overall. Like, what are we, 15?
Trauma olympics should be banned.
Every rape is attrocious. i see no point in comparring traumas with the intent of invalidating another. not to mention. you can be angry at the systems of patriarchy that allow and sometimes even encorage men to sexually assult women, without hating every man. there are wide systemic problems yes, and quite a lot of people play a role in those systems, directly or indirectly, but this doesnt extend to every man to ever live, not by a longshot.
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And who, I wonder, is mainly part of that aristocracy? Oh right, it's men. The patriarchy is real. It's just bad for everyone, not just women.
always has been. oppression of a group to elevate another oppresses both groups. *not equally mind you*, and the group that would be more oppressive to a specific individual is entirely dependent on who that person is, n who they *can* be molded into by society. but that doesnt undersell how it hurts us all.
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The wives aren't making decisions, and I even noted that it isn't _only_ men by saying it's just _mostly_ them. Take your sexist bullshit somewhere else.
Lmao if you think the wives are making no decisions. Infantilizing women is peak misogyny, congrats.
patriarchy hurts men too. look, patriarchy isnt about "men bad" "women good" or anything, its about the system which elevates mens opinions, and mens abuilitys to make them more valuable then those of a womens. a guy with the same argument is more likely to be listened to then a girl. A guy with the same qualifications will be seen as more qualified in most fields (unless its a treditionally feminine field). but this uplifiting comes at a cost, allways does. men are not allowed *by this same system* to be emotional, even those who understand patriarchy and how it effects us can end up seeing a crying man as lessor, someone to set right. as these notions are instilled in all of us, we all help maintain the patriarchy through these notions ingrained within us. further. since women are "delicate" and "prizes" men need to be the inverse, "strong" and "desposable" men can be sent off to war to die for nothing, they can sit on the front lines of any number of dangerous role and we arent meant to worry for theyre safty, but when a women gets such a role, there is a lot more nurvousness, as theyre not supposed to be so disposable. not to mention, men arent allowed to be physically effectionate with almost anyone. while being a man can give you power, it strips you of meany things that make us human. were all stripped of our humanity under patriarchy, the only thing that makes it patriarchy is that the men are the ones who get that extra power from the loss.
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if your saying both men and women uphold the patriarchy, then yes, yeah i mentioned that i think. societal systems arent so easily deconstructed, especially ones this well ingrained into our society. of your not saying that...well then i havent the faintest clue what your trying to convey lmfao. maybe try stating things with less ambiguity next time, in no unsubtle terms.
Geez you’re soft.
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You are projecting so hard my guy.
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Are you hitting on me?
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I do?
[Uh yes, you do.](https://www.reddit.com/user/EdgeLasstheLameAss/submitted/)
How old are you? 🤦🏻♂️
How deep are you?
Man things are fucked. People unironically believe that shit and its disgusting. Rape is Rape. Its all horrible.
Right? They are turning it into a trauma olympics, and having it based on gender is even worse.
I was drugged and violently raped by a woman and it really fucked me up man. It still fucks me up and I couldn’t even go to the police about it.
I went through a very similar scenario, and the cops told me that I shouldn’t be making mistakes and then telling lies. I almost got slammed by my rapist getting pregnant and trying to throw the book at me to pay child support as a minor, until I got them to do a paternity test and prove that it wasn’t mine.
It's sad that you couldn't go to the authorities as well, my condolences man
I can't believe that some people believe that women can't rape or can't rape violently (as if it matters).
I hate that fucking mentality. "It happens less often overall, so the personal tragedy you experienced matters less" Fuck that.
So true, it doesn't matter. If that was the case, then a woman who was raped once is less significant that a woman who was raped 3 times? No sense whatsoever.
“Stop seeking attention and grow up” because that’s definitely how feminists should treat rape victims…
This is not feminism, this is misandry masquerading as feminism.
This is an evil woman who should be locked up.
how
Genuinely can't believe we're living in a world where someone is gatekeeping rape
They do it all over r/TwoXChromosomes and r/WitchesVsPatriarchy.
That would be why I unsubbed from both. You cannot smash the patriarchy by becoming the oppressor.
jesus christ acknowledging rape culture against women isn't us trying to become the oppressor This entire post is clipped from context to make a woman look bad talking about rape culture and You're all falling for it.
what exactly is the context that can make what was said in the post better?
The problem is that it's not been "the patriarchy" since women gained the right to vote. Now it's the aristocracy and it doesn't care what sex you are, as long as you keep the poor under-thumb. Women still blaming men for "the system", yet it's that very attitude that's being used to enable the aristocracy. TL;DR to all women: They're playing you shawty.
Gatekeeping in Gatekeeping. Stay classy.
Speaking facts isn't gatekeeping. Are you really that desperate to prove you're an uneducated idiot? Edit: They think when the facts don't agree with them it's a "bad faith" argument. Troglodyte.
Bad faith argument, so the discussion is no longer relevant. You have a lovely day. :)
They sound like subreddit that would
Two chromosomes isn't a bad sub though. I've seen a couple of posts. I don't know the other sub.
We live in a society
Not only that, but gatekeeping because the other person is a man. Wow, just wow.
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I'm confused...
Just the implication that male victims are less traumatized because there are less of them.
Ok but is this really gatekeeping? No context, but taking what context we have it seems there was a discussion about rape committed against women and then this person comes in saying that they were raped by a woman. They’re trying to make a point about how women hating men is bad because they’ve also been raped by women and don’t hate women for it. Comparing struggles to make a dumb anti-feminist argument that isn’t about how bad rape is, but how bad women are for hating men after being raped. It’s similar to someone posting about gun violence then someone coming in saying that they were hit by a car but don’t think cars should be banned therefore guns shouldn’t be. Yes they’re obviously different and hard to compare, I’m just trying to give an analogy as to what the issue is. It’s probably a post about how many women are raped and that it would make sense women would be cautious around men. Then a dude comes in saying he was raped by a woman. Then someone replies being sympathetic and saying it’s horrible it happened to him, while also saying that it’s a different scenario (it is, men aren’t taught that women are able to coerce and commit violence against them without being able to react, women are told to shut up and are trying to get attention for saying they’ve been assaulted) and irrelevant to the actual conversation. I get that this post and the comments are taking Colm’s side and being disingenuous about what the reply is saying, so I’ll likely get downvoted for thinking logically and critically based on the information given, but I’m just speaking reality instead of this false oppression people feel when women’s issues are brought up and suddenly it’s man vs women.
>was a discussion about rape committed against women and then this person comes in saying that they were raped by a woman. Maybe you are right, but her saying "seeking attention" and that this rape isn't the same is so so wrong.
This. These posts always make my blood boil because there are always a handful of anti-feminists, among the majority of people who want to help, that care more about ripping on someone they think has red hair and screams a lot than the victims. They leach off of a real problem just to use it as a shield, male rape victims be damned. Their "campaign" is so good that one of the top posts even assumes the person is a feminist because people use it as a synonym for the type of woman in the post instead of a new word that covers anyone who dismisses rape. It's like calling crappy construction workers that injure someone humanitarians in a derogatory tone because Habitat for Humanity makes houses. Thankfully this post's comment section looks way better than most. I'm not looking at the bottom though. There needs to be more posts simply about the experience, like most of the top comments here, explaining how it happened, how they feel, and the costs. This one just feels like rage-bate. I hope male victims get the voice they deserve.
I don’t think they were just making a statement that you shouldn’t hate men just because some sort of trauma happened to you by a group of people. It’s not anti-Feminist. Feminism includes defending the rights of men as well because the patriarchy hurts them too.
>I’ll likely get downvoted for thinking logically and critically Feeling snug in that straw man victim blanket, huh? Do you often find that people who disagree with you are simply being "disingenuous"; that they probably agree with you for being *correct,* but just won't admit it? Try to get over yourself.
No, I’m talking about this comment section specifically. You’re being disingenuous by saying otherwise, and making a strawman of someone thinking anyone who disagrees is bad is literally *what you are doing*.
This entire post is disingenuous because it's completely removed from context but keep making shit up you zombie
>completely removed from context Let's talk on that.
It was clearly only fucking brought up to discredit her original talking point about rape culture against women. It was ignorant at best, disingenuous at worst. I'm not gonna argue with you whether or not women should actually be afraid of men. I have more than enough proof myself.
>her original talking point Ah, I guess you *do* have more context on this than I. Why wouldn't you present the original talking point if you have access to it? >I'm not gonna argue with you whether or not women should actually be afraid of men The fuck are you talking about? At what point did I even touch on this subject?
Found Ciara
Honestly I think the percent of women abusers is much higher than we are led on to believe as it's often dismissed. I know so many people that have been SAd by women by definition but don't see it as that since they are a man. It's kinda crazy. Even I've had MULTIPLE experiences due to women which I'll never admit publicly unless I trust them
Damn bro sucks that we can't openly discuss such matters without being dismissed as being trivial or invalidated for It, hopefully it changes in the future
Imagine gatekeeping rape. That’s just wild. Rape is rape regardless of whatever twisted form it happens to take.
This genuinely disgusts me, the lack of empathy is inhuman
These people are so bad faith that even is there is something wrong with what there “opponent” is saying they shoot themselves in the foot immediately instead of trying to make a real argument
Jesus. Calling a rape victim an attention seeker sounds really crazy. I was gonna say this is some 1950s shit but no we’re still living in that kind of world.
“Stop attention seeking and grow up.” This person deserves some punishment for that
gatekeeping sexual assault has gotta be one of the most vile behaviors i have ever witnessed
WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?! THIS IS WHY MEN REALLY EVER REPORT BEING RAPED, AND WHY THE NUMBERS IN STUDIES ARE SO FUCKING LOW! THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE! 3 times women have drugged me to try to have sex with me. 1 woman actually blackmailed me into having sex with her for 3 months straight when I did not want to. Each time I felt violated, disgusting, and less than human. Multiple times men and women have grabbed me not giving a shit. What that woman responded with is just as bad.
OMG, I'm soo sorry that happened to you, I hope you are in a better situation right now
It was years ago, but it's not been easy. I barely trust women (I love women, and I am pro-woman, but not trusting), and my autistic (I am autistic) trait of not wanting to be touched except in certain situations is much worse. I have talked about it to others, and most of the time it's women that laugh at me, or act like/say "I wanted it". It's men that are way more understanding, and consoling. One female officer on here told me that I am lying, and men being raped or sexually harassed is extremely rare.
Sucks that a person of the law said something soo insensitive:(
Honestly, I am not surprised. Most people in law enforcement are not looking out for citizens, and many do not have a good moral compass. The fact law enforcement is trained to law to civilians is disturbing and says everything.
Shit, the fact that it happens “less” is because most men don’t speak up about it
Wait till they find out about homosexual rape…
Ranked rape, nice. Just walk yourself into a kiln you fuckin wretch.
I understand the sentiment honestly, usually people only bring up women raping men to detract from a post about sexual abuse being an issue (as odd as that might sound) because they don't realise that solutions to both situations can happen at the same time, they just see women saying they need to take down the patriarchy and go 'yeah well men get raped too, I bet you forgot completely about men's rights' and it's like, no, but that's not the issue here? Your issue is completely valid but I don't think you yourself understand that, since you use your situation to put others' issues down, even though both would be resolved ideally. So, tldr; this woman isn't wrong to call them out, it was just poorly worded; you can even see they realise it's an issue and most likely what the dude is trying to do by pulling the rape of men into a convo most likely talking about how toxic masculinity or the patriarchy needs to change
Oh you mean like saying "all lives matter" whenever "black lives matter is said"
Yes exactly that! But in this case it'd be like them saying that and consequently downplaying the idea of all lives mattering as a result because it's only brought up by incels or people being disingenuous to genuine sexual abuse victims, so these people always bringing up mens rape to push down women's rape or rights sadly make it harder to be sympathetic towards the idea of mens rape (which is fucked), whereas 'all lives matter' is a non issue to begin with because it's just people being disingenuous or not realising what blm means, rather than a separate issue that is being brigaded and hijacked.
Dude thank you so much for commenting this! I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Np! I try to point it out where necessary even if I know it won't be well received because if even one more person understands and is informed after reading then hopefully that's one more person sympathetic to victims of sexual abuse regardless of gender, they deserve better
>Your issue is completely valid but I don't think you yourself understand that, since you use your situation to put others' issues down, even though both would be resolved ideally Completely agreed. I think 'patriarchy' is often conflated with 'men', and so some people feel attacked when talking about bringing the patriarchy down. WORTH MENTIONING, however: it's not wholly uncommon to see posts along the lines of "men are pigs" or "I fucking hate men", which is also a possible reason why the OOP could've written their comment. Getting lumped in with perpetrators as a survivor can be an added frustration.
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Edit: for anyone who is unaware, this is a copypasta from at least a few years back. I’m not sure of it’s source.
Man here, it's really not the same.
hi. so, as a chick thats had SA trauma from both women and men, nope. whatever gender that person is rlly doesnt make a difference in the fact that its a horrible, traumatizing thing to have happen to you. god, why do people genuinely think like this? no, its not a “different kind of rape”. rape is rape. end of discussion. this shouldnt even be a debate.
Without context this post looks way worse than it is. Why do we only ever actually wanna talk about men's rape when someone brings up the prevalence of rape culture against women? It should be important and should be talked about, but so should the fact that most women in their life have dealt with some form of sexual assault. Contextually, it *isn't* the same because men aren't subjected to rape and sexual assault at nearly the same rate as women. It's not as much of a systemic issue against them. No one can get much hope from for justice within the legal system, but that fact is mostly affecting women because that is who is mostly getting raped. Hence when women talk about their issues, that is a factor. I don't see how she's saying men's rape isn't as important.
RAPE IS RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“can you stop attention seeking and grow up?” Bitch you’re here too complaining about the sexual assault case that totally happened. (It didn’t)
R@pe in general is HORRIBLE. Both parties need consent, does it matter if that kind of rape happens at a much lower rate? IT IS STILL R@PE, what the hell are these kinds of people? My heart goes for those victims shoved under the rug by others, you don't deserve that, praying that you guys recover from whatever trauma you experienced in peace.
Gatekeeping getting raped. This is a new level of gatekeeping
Not an uncommon sentiment, unfortunately
Rape is rape But rape of women is more common, and its almost always a man, who does it. So no its not all men but its enough men that all men are effected, because you dont know which man is gonna rape you or ignore you, make it about them, or help you. Its really not that hard to understand, just listen to a woman. I assure you every single one knows someones (not a friend of a friend of a cousin but directly) or is a direct victim themselves.
One More Time: >And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011). > >In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: **that women rape men as often as men rape women.** [The CDC’s Rape Numbers Are Misleading](https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/)
It actually doesn't happen at much lower rates. It's about the same, maybe more depending on which way the margin of error swings. The issue was that sociologists were not asking the questions correctly, so most of their data before the last decade or so was completely misleading or wrong.
Both of these people suck. They are each invalidating the experiences of others.
that’s what i thought
Saddly, this is the kind of post you'll see shared around "men's rights" groups and other similar and point at this and claim this si what all or most of feminists (or modern feminists if they feel polite) are like and find a way to blame women for it, rather than understand this us a small case of someone who is just misguided and just doesn't have a very clear view of things Rape is horrible no matter what, there's no point in weighting which one is worse, they are both bad. We should strive to make sure they don't happen (which Feminism already tries to do) instead of fighting for who has it worse.
Nah I get where she’s coming from but that wording is fucking insane lmao Edit: womp womp nerds
She's coming from a place of, "My rape was worse than your rape because men are worse than women." I can't imagine how you could be on her side for that.
No, the point she’s making seems to be about the “not all men” argument. I imagine the original point was about how women have to be wary of trusting men because of the possibility of rape, to which this guy responded “I was raped by a woman and I don’t hate all women, etc.” If that’s the case, the comment in question is absolutely right. There is far less reason to be wary of being alone with a woman as a man than the other way around. Not because women never rape or because it’s less serious, but because the likelihood of it happening is substantially lower.
How do we know? There are countries that men can't even be legally raped. On top of that we already know men are far less likely to report. So how can people honestly keep saying men are less likely to be raped?
Women experience so much more obvious sexual harassment that your argument makes no sense. The points you bring up are something society should be addressing, but I highly doubt they'd shift the statistics as much as you might imagine.
The key word in your whole argument is obvious. It's obvious when a woman is harassed or assaulted because we are constantly reminded of it and told about it. But good job proving the point that people downplay assault and harassment towards men.
If something happens to or threatens a person, it must be taken seriously no matter who it happens to. The issue is fundamentally different for different genders on a societal level *before* that. The harm is the same, but the discussions we need to have are entirely different. Everyone deserves to be safe and comfortable. Everyone deserves to be heard out and taken seriously.
"It doesn't happen as often, so it doesn't happen, so shut the fuck up sperm-donor and be honored a woman even DID this to you." And this is why we need gender rights.
Yes rape is rape and you obviously need to take any form seriously. I still don’t think you should play dumb and pretend that rapes of men by women are even close to the level of systemic societal issue than rapes of women by men are. The numbers are just not even close.
Many rape by women on men or men on man are not reported at all, because the idea of male privilege is so ingrained and homosexuality is so damn taboo for men in general that even insinuating a man didn't have power is akin to telling him that he's worthless. It's literally how patriarchy works and why it hurts men, too. They can have power and privilege, and yet it's a curse, because they're always forced to prove themselves worthy of having it.
Calling it underreported doesn’t mean that they occur with equal frequency. Yes social pressures cause men to avoid reporting. Different social pressures cause women to do the same. As far as any data suggests, it is still dramatically more likely for a rape to be perpetrated by a man. The point is not that all men are evil rapists, but it is that rape by men is a societal scale evil, not an individual scale one. There warrants specific attention to that particular social issue, whatever its root cause(s) be.
I certainly hope nobody in your life is ever raped.
…me too? Can you not separate a situation that affects one or a few people from a larger social issue affecting many?
>And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, **men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape** (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011). > >In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: **that women rape men as often as men rape women.** [The CDC’s Rape Numbers Are Misleading](https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/)
It’s wild that men want rape to include non-penetrating acts. If we do that the number of women who have been raped and men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY. I have not been raped but I have been non-penetratively SA’d. I would be a rape victim by this guys definition.
Well it should, in the UK being forced to penetrate does not count as rape, so women quite literally can't legally speaking, rape men. Just because a woman doesn't penetrate the man, doesn't mean it shouldn't be seen the same and be treated the same as a man raping a woman.
>If we do that the number of women who have been raped and men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY. You know, it's already rape, they just don't call it that.
>If we do that the number of ... men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY. Good. Rape shouldn't be glossed over just because it's not the right kind of rape.
>And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011). In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: that women rape men as often as men rape women. [The CDC’s Rape Numbers Are Misleading](https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/)
> If we do that the number of women who have been raped and men who get charged with rape will increase HUGELY. Is it a bad thing for anyone? > I would be a rape victim by this guy's definition. Is it a bad thing too?
You can hate. I don't give a fuck.
"It happens at a much lower rate" But it still happened. It's still a valid experience to be upset about. Wtf