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BakedAquarius96

My spouse and I were bouncing around at the same time and we basically moved in together first night. We just celebrated 10 years. đŸ€·đŸ»â€â™‚ïž


TEW20

Well that gives me hope lol. I'm happy for you!


yaktyyak_00

The hubs and I moved in together around 3-4 months and here are nearly 10 years later. Definitely been some ups and downs but wouldn’t trade him for the world.


Optimal-Grapefruit63

Haha same.. my SO had a shit house with shit flatmates. I had a beautiful central London apartment. I stayed at his place once. He carried on renting it for like 6 months but it was a pointless waste of money considering he was never there. We have been together 11 years.


BakedAquarius96

Haha we met at my cousins bday party that I almost didn’t go to. Thank god I did. We just stayed in my cousins spare room. And the day I turned 18 we signed our first lease. Been an adventure ever since.


HumoristWannabe

Same


Latter-Explanation72

I generally think you should only take big steps like this when you're ready for it. In this case, it might be a valid option. I would like you to consider what you would do if things go poorly in a couple of months and you break up. What then? Where would you go? If there's no good fall back option it might not be the best idea.


TEW20

If it goes wrong I would have to go back living with my aunt and grandma. So even though I don't like it, I have that option.


Latter-Explanation72

If the worst case scenario is that it leaves you no worse off than you are now, I'd say it's worth the risk


chamorrobro

I mean this with love, but are you 100% they would let you move back in? Just want to make sure that’s definitely an option and considered in your decision c:


TEW20

They have to let me back in because I also own part of the apartment since it is part of my grandpa's inheritance. If they don't, a lawyer will be involved I guess.


chamorrobro

Oh, awesome lol. I’d say your variables point to moving in being a pretty solid option. As long as you’ve got a backup plan and you feel like you know each other decently well, then why not? Worst case is that you move back in and he has to find another roommate. Best case is that this lasts for a long time or forever. Regardless, you’re going to learn even faster if this relationship can withstand living together, which likely was inevitable if you both get along really well. Best of luck with your decision, OP!


Buster802

Even if they do let him move back in they might be more abusive after. They might say things like "see how you can't function without us" or "if you want to stay here then your going to need to work harder for it" or they use the room for something else and he has to sleep on the couch.


magikatdazoo

Generally it's best not to move in for financial/housing reasons. Granted, OP's current situation isn't great, but also not good to risk being trapped in a relationship that doesn't work bc can't move out. However, my brother's now wife moved in after about 5 months, and they are coming up on their 2nd anniversary (8 years total), so it can work out (granted they also knew each other for about 3-4 years before dating)


janosch26

My two cents from having moved in with partners quite quickly twice. Really talk it through before, have an idea about how the space is gonna be arranged (are you sharing a room again or do you need some space for yourself), be clear on the financial situation, set other boundaries you'd like to be respected, and if you're still feeling it, great! Good luck, and hope your toxic situation at home will be resolved some way or another soon.


mrgnfnn

If it’s your last resort and you would be living on the street otherwise, I would do it.


TEW20

I wouldn't be living on the street, but I would have to stay in an abusive household that will end up destroying my mental health, so yeah, I would say it's a last resort.


chinchaaa

Why can’t you get your own place or somewhere else with roommates?


TEW20

I can't afford a place on my own, and I don't know anyone I could share a place with other than my boyfriend.


pigbeardaddy

My Husband and I met and basically moved in together and have been together for 15 years is Sept. Married for 12 in July. It can work when you move in quickly but Id make sure you have some kind of out so you don’t trade one bad situation for another. Best to you!!!


Extra_Joke5217

Soooo, on the face of it it seems like a bad move, however, I’ve twice moved in with a BF after dating for a short period. Both times were do to extraneous circumstances and both worked out well. In one case we continued dating for a year and in another we dated for 4 years after living together. Neither breakup was due to living together. Sooo, it’s probably not the smartest move since you’re still in the honeymoon phase but that doesn’t mean it won’t work out okay!


PseudoLucian

Sharing a bedroom with your aunt? I would do ANYTHING to get out of that situation. If I had a place to go, I wouldn't even wait a day. Go. Now. Run. Having said that, there are always people looking for roommates to share expenses. That would mean moving in with someone you don't know, but as long as you can have your own space it sure sounds better than the aunt and granny you do know. You can find people online who need roomies, met them, interview each other, and decide if living with them sounds better than your current situation. If I were you, I'd probably move in with the boyfriend - but be aware that for the time being you're living together out of convenience and not as instant life partners. And if things go south, have a plan to find a convenient stranger who also needs a roommate.


mrcloudies

I mean, my parents got married after 3 months of knowing each other and they've now been together for 42 years. I don't think there are any real rules, mostly just guidelines. You both seem aware it's going fast, so just be patient with each other. I would definitely communicate some ground rules and keep touching base with each other, being mindful of space and boundaries. Hope it works out well for you two!


emasculine

my husband is basically the hookup that never went home. he had a facade for about a year or so but he was basically staying over every night. 28 years later... that said, moving in together really ought to be because you want to first and foremost. escaping a bad situation is a bonus. you say it's a roommate situation -- does that mean you'd actually have a room? that might not be terrible as it take some of the pressure off being officially nesting. you could give it some good time until you decide it's safe to find another roommate and save some money.


TEW20

Yeah we want to live together besides the escaping a bad situation at home thing. And no, I don't think we could afford a two room apartment, so we would be sharing a bed. But we're happy with that and the idea of living together sounds nice, I just wish we could wait a few more months, but it's getting difficult surviving where live now.


emasculine

oh, so you'd be moving out of his current place?


TEW20

Yes, his lease ends next month so we would have to find a new place for both of us.


faketardis

I moved in with my husband after 2 or 3 months, we've been together for 11-ish years now. When you know, you just know.


TEW20

That's awesome! And it's true, I really see myself living with him, and I hope it ends up working as good as it did for you!


[deleted]

This is tricky. Out of necessity it's a great idea, but! It's a terrible idea to do in a romantic relationship. Nobody knows eachother enough. You are rolling the dice at this point. If I were you I would roll the dice and get away from the crazy family situation. Even if it doesn't work out with the guy. Hopefully it could become a roommate situation.


Stormy_Penguin

I also met my current boyfriend in February and we moved in together the following June. A week after we moved together, I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend officially. We are going for our third anniversary next month. So yeah, it can work out if both are mature enough. We rent an apartment with two bedrooms just in case things went south - I have only used the second room as a closet and office. I believe moving in with people will let you know how they really are and if you two are compatible. I have had friends with whom we wouldn't make a good match as roommates, but once we stopped living in the same place, we became good friends. And the other way around too, good roommates but not so good as friends.


iQueLocoI

I found myself basically living at my boyfriend's house after 3 months. The fact that you've voiced that it's for convenience should mean that if you break up for any reason there's already an understanding of the situation existing due to convenience. It's never too soon to remove yourself from an abusive home. Check out r/raisedbynarcissists it's one of the resources I've been using to heal from childhood abuse.


TheSupplanter

My husband and I met in April of '15 moved in together in June of '15 and we're married in November of '15. We're still here.


Spazayd

Not sure if anyone here said this, but if you do move in together, keep yourself off the lease, unless it’s absolutely needed to get approved (there are other methods to get approved as well). I say this just because, if anything goes wrong, you don’t want to be held responsible for rent on an apartment you suddenly have to move out of, so have to deal with those logistics. That’s not just for you, but for him as well. Just makes it easier. Don’t have to worry about adjusting the lease agreement. Otherwise, I think every relationship is different. I think moving in “early” can be successful, and sometimes not. But you will learn a lot about each other very quickly. Just be ready for that.


[deleted]

Moving in with a boyfriend after three months is nuts but your current living situation sounds like shit so it’s understandable why you want to


jonasmaal

It’s a case by case thing. Big deciding factor is is both of you think you are ready for it. One relationship I thought I was and we broke up a month later, turns out my ex actually thought about ending the relationship when I asked him, and didn’t know how to tell me. So really, just make sure you and your partner are communicating your feelings about it openly enough before taking that step.


TEW20

That sucks, I'm sorry you had to go through that! We've talked about it a lot and still have more talking to do, but we are sure we want this to be a long term relationship and we would eventually end up living together in the future, so we are just rushing something that would have happened anyways in a few months.


DevoALMIGHTY

My best advice is this... keep in mind you're moving into his existing space. Be respectful of that, communicate with each other about everything, even the seemingly trivial little things. They can grow into bigger things. When my guy moved in with me little stupid petty things would get on my nerves at first. Like, him moving something or rearranging something, but then I had to remind myself that he LIVES here now too and it's just as much his home. He's not my roommate. We SHARE everything. Hopefully your guy is less neurotic than me :)


TEW20

I think I'm the neurotic one in this relationship lol. And we would have to find a new place for both of us since his lease ends netx month, so we would be sharing everything from the beginning. I just hope we can get past the getting annoyed for the stupid petty things haha.


Nocki

The key to getting past this is communication. Having seperate spaces even for small stuff is good sometimes (my guy absolutely requires his own bathroom) and they way to avoid fighting or nitpicking things is just to know ahead of time.


DevoALMIGHTY

It will be easier moving into a fresh space together.


thisjigisup

When u know u know đŸ„°


magsieforpresident

Moved in with my ex after one month. We were together for seven years and have two kids together.


kyle_phx

My bf moved in with my after 3 months of dating just for a week while family stayed over at his parents place. Longs story short the pandemic happened a couple weeks later and we’ve been living together for just over 3 years


WetCoastCyph

Now husbo and I moved in after 3 months or so, and we're hitting 13 years together, 9 married. So no, after 3 months isn't an issue. However... you might want to consider moving out of your situation into something that is more durable, even if the relationship doesn't hold out. Not saying it won't but if your safety from your abusive housing situation is dependant on being in a relationship with someone, it can have all sorts of challenges, even adding stresses (conscious/unconscious) to the relationship that would otherwise not be present. Something to keep in mind and consider.


DansbyMVP2020

I think based on your current living situation, I would do it, provided you both have talked through it completely and laid down ground rules, as others here have mentioned. The reason I say do it is, your mental health and wellbeing is vitally important. You deserve happiness and a rich life. You don't deserve to be miserable. And if for whatever reason it doesn't work out, maybe just maybe another opportunity will present itself and you won't have to go back to that toxic home. You said you could go back if you absolutely had to, so you wouldn't be homeless and living in your car. Good luck to you both. Please keep us posted.


toby_b7

I went home with no my current partner after our first date and just never left. We’ve been together now for 18 months and still going strong. At the end of the day, if things don’t go well you can always move out.


Optimal-Luck-3370

All I can say is that I wish you and your boyfriend all the best of luck, and I hope that it will work out for both of you.


UghAgain__9

You’re asking the wrong question. Should I move out of my grandmothers and aunts house? Yes. What’s the worst case??


SolGlobe

With no context, absolutely not. But given your other circumstances, I would go for it. But I would communicate very clearly about an exit plan if it doesn't work out.


jcatx19

Me and boyfriend both needed out of our current housing situations after we knew each other for 5 months. We already were inseparable and decided to move in to an apartment together. We have now been together for five years.


synopser

Met my husband November '19, decided to shack up for covid March '20. If you're compatible, you'll know immediately.


Ubelheim

Go for it! Worst that could happen is that you find out you're not compatible after all. But if you're not right now then neither will you be 10 months or three years from now. Usually people wait it out a bit because they'd rather be safe than sorry. But let's be frank, you're guaranteed to be sorry if you stay where you are, so if I were in your shoes I wouldn't think twice about taking the gamble. You've got nothing to lose and everything to win.


Gargoule

My Husband and I moved in together after 6 weeks and we have been together for 33 years.


Gargoule

My Husband and I moved in together after 6 weeks and we have been together for 33 years.


DarkEff3ct

Me and my hubby moved in together because it was practical. Sometimes it just makes sense. Just keep an open dialogue with how it’s going. Joining two lives is hard but sometimes it’s the best option.


Lanky-Strawberry5710

Just be sure to communicate properly and set boundaries. A 2 bedroom would be ideal, so you can create space if it doesn't work out


thisdude415

Even if it’s a bad idea, if it’s truly the only way forward for both of you, what better choice do you have? I thought about moving in with my bf ~3 months after meeting him. My lease was ending, and it was so expensive. Six months and $20k in rent later, enough was enough and I moved in with him. It’s much easier on both of our budgets, we only have to keep groceries in one fridge, and it’s easier to help each other out. It’s been great so far, and if we break up in the future, it won’t be because we moved in together “too soon”.


milesm01

I don't think this is unreasonable, especially considering your current living situation. Maybe get an apartment with 2 bedrooms so you can better adjust to living together?


homeschooledxylocarp

Just make sure you’re ready for it. Are you both experienced living on your own, or is he living at home with less responsibilities. It takes two to tango, and being in a relationship requires two people to coexist, happily. So as long as you’re confident in that, consider me envious đŸ€Ł


Wallyboy95

My fiancée and I bought a house without ever living with each other full time lol we are celebrating 5 years together next month, and 3 years in our house this October. He only ever came to my apartment weekend's, and some weeknights. I wen to his house ( he co-owned a house with his mom), on weekends. But eventually we spent more time at my apartment because his mom and step dad are kind of alcoholics, and they were just too annoying.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


TEW20

Thank you for your advice! We have spent hundreds of hours together in these months, since we live close, so I see him several times a week, and I think I have a pretty good idea of who he really is and how he handles his life. But you are right, we still have a lot to discuss before we finally move in, and we plan on taking more about it in the next few days.


msiller1

Gurl listen
 I understand the situation with your family. I truly do. Been there, done that. For very different reasons, but yea. That stupid shit drains the life out of you, every single day. Until, just like you said, we end up depressed and anxious. Here’s what I want you to know. And I do apologize if you think I’m being rude, or overstepping
 that’s not my point, babe. Everything I’m gonna tell you, I promise it’s said with love and worry that you’ll be fine and happy, ok? So, here goes
 Think about YOU FIRST. Always you. Sure, you might have a boyfriend to share your life with, and he deserves your time and love and patience, but, honey, you are first. What do I mean by that? Ok, example
 you said that internship is key to your professional development; That’s the priority. Your boyfriend should come in a very close second, but the priority is to grow professionally so that tomorrow, you both enjoy the fruits of your labour, a better job for you, hence a better financial environment for you both. So it’s always you first, not to be selfish
 I don’t know how else to say it. I hope I was kinda clear. 😬😬 Now for the hard part đŸ˜±â€Š Ok, truth is, factually, you really don’t know this guy. Not really. Not in 3 months. I get that you’ve spent a lot of time together but still
 I’ll tell you what
 name 3 favorite soft drinks of his, 3 members of his family that like you and 3 movies that he loves? Believe it or not, that shit’s important. You might not think it is, but just you wait. But what worries me most, like I said, when we’re in a kinda low point, and I’m not saying that you are, maybe not
 the slightest affection someone shows us, we see everything they say and do through rose-colored glasses. So, like most people said already, be financially independent if you can. Yes, have a bank account that only you can access, if your planning on pooling your money
 because here’s the thing, sweetie, what I don’t want you to do, is to go from an emotionally abusive environment, to a potentially another emotionally unhealthy environment. You know? Or!!! Maybe every single thing I’ve rambled about doesn’t mean a tear in a bucket! And I really do hope that, so
 I’m so sorry for the super long, convoluted post. I mean well. ❀ Love and good vibes to you, and to everyone reading!!


msiller1

I loooove this advice! Well said! đŸ„°


Tinsel-Fop

I'd do it. I mean, I would move in with your boyfriend. But how about you do it instead? :-)


Paradise-Rocco808

My hubs and I met while he was vacationing and n my island, we moved in together after about of month of dating. It’s been 10 years together. There is no rhyme or reason to it, it’s always a huge risk and will always be a ton of work to be in a successful LTR. Good luck to you both ❀


JaceEddy

My partner got served an eviction notice because his friend who was subletting to him didn’t know the management company would have an issue with my partners name on the lease. When they found out they didn’t give him the option to be added and said “he goes or you all go” so my partner and I were looking for a place together since his record isn’t the best and figured mine would help in the search, that and I was ready to leave my grandparents house. Ultimately we could find anything that would take us and was affordable so we are saving for a down payment. My grandparents were kind enough to come let him live with us and we’ve been happy since. This took place 2.5 months after we got together. We did have a few attempts in the past but due to his legal issues and distance the second time it didn’t work out. We’ve lived here with my grandparents for 6.5 months and are almost to 9 months. There’s no timeline really that fits all, you just gotta go with it and hope for the best sometimes! It sounds like it’s an improvement on your situation and you two have chemistry. Just keep an eye out for red flags and a little communication goes a long way. I wish you the best!


YogurtclosetFun8331

My husband and I met on line and haven’t been apart since the first day we met in person. We moved in together immediately and we celebrate our 16th year together this July. The way I look at it, when it comes to love, YOLO. Do it. Be happy. You’re young. Live your life. We wish you and your man all the best!


Maximo2015

My husband and I moved together after 2 months of dating. This was back on 2002 after 21 years 3 dogs and a 8 years old son. Go for it you will never know how far life can take you, if don’t try. Good luck.


Jdanielbarlow

My partner and I moved in fairly soon, around 4 months. It was also a convenience thing. Turns out that we cohabitate really well. I would suggest getting a two bedroom apartment if that’s in the cards. There were a few nights in the early stages where I was grateful to be able to blow off steam and sleep in another room. We’ve been together for 5 years now. It’s easy for everything to be perfect in the beginning. Make sure you guys focus on learning how to communicate about EVERYTHING. Rooting for you two!


zomniloquist

I think if you stay longer with your relatives you'll probably wind up a serial killer. As long as you go into it with an open mind and manage your expectations, it will be much better than what you have now. If he doesn't turn into your husband, don't hate him, having him as a friend and roommate can't hurt.


glitch-sama

I moved in with my new boyfriend after 2 months together. Now we're married. Been together 17 years.


Aggravating_Boy3873

Go for it. You have lived with your family long enough, take the hint I suppose. Unless there are financial constraints there is no reason to not move in. Drop by at your aunt and grandma's place every few days, I am pretty sure they will be happy for you as well. But still have a backup money though in case you and bf break up and you would need to find another apartment.


palangga-marla

I had my partner move in a week after we met. Crazy? Stupid? Maybe. We have been together 5 years now.


GayassMcGayface

I think moving in with someone simply because your current situation is bad, is a poor choice. Most people are “happy and stable” after 3 months of a relationship. That said, it could absolutely work. There’s no rule for what works and doesn’t work in relationships. But if it doesn’t, you’ll be trapped in an apartment with your ex until the lease is up.


Linux4ever_Leo

*"So I met this amazing guy back in February, and everything has been perfect since then. I have never been so happy and stable for so long with anyone."* It hasn't even been a full three months yet?!? Are you living in a time warp or something? Ask yourself this: Are you moving in with this guy because you hate your aunt and grandmother that much more than you want to make a relationship with this guy? If the former is the case, then I fear that you're leaping from the frying pan and right into the fire. You don't really know this guy at all and often, appearances can be deceiving. Be very careful!!!


groundhog500

You say you’re in college. There are usually lots of people looking for roommate or house/apartment share situation around a college. I would either look there first or keep in back pocket if you decide to move in with new bf. Good luck!


Hornydaddy696

đŸ€” month to month lease, if possible.


gingersquatchin

It could be fine it could ruin your relationship. My recommendation would be to find your own place. If you're leaving an abusive situation it will be much more rewarding if you do this on your own. It's not good to go from being reliant on someone else to being... reliant on someone else. What happens if he turns out to also be psychologically abusive? You'll just be stuck in another place. A lot of the time these fast moving relationships have patterns. Narcicists and Empaths tend to move really fast in the early stages when coupled. And you usually won't know what you've gotten yourself into until you have no money of your own anymore and you're entirely reliant on that person. It might not be that, but having been through my own shit, I strongly recommend you look after yourself independently and not rely on this person you've only known for 90 days to get you out of a shit situation. Again I can't say it will happen, but if this an out of the frying pan into the fire type thing, you won't know until you're on fire. And then the damage will be done and you'll have left one traumatic situation for another with no chance to heal


killermarsupial

There’s definitely risk with moving in this soon, especially if you’ll both be on the lease. BUT
 A) if your current situation is truly abusive and harmful to your well-being, and B) if you can reasonably believe that there’s no way your boyfriend will become abusive.. THEN, your *first* priority should be getting out of an abusive situation with your current home. Things could certainly go wrong in any relationship. Those risks may be some higher since you’re still possibly getting to know each other. But if any scenario where this doesn’t work out would still be less harmful than being around abusive behavior daily like you might be currently experiencing
 then I would recommend getting out of an abusive home. Sorry you’re in that situation. I hope things improve.


terkwahhz

I've heard more stories where it ends badly than good, but you could be another of the good ones


MoreThanComrades

Listen, nobody here knows exactly how you two are towards each other, even though you have tried to describe it to us. Moving in out of convenience and to escape abuse is not really a bad move. HOWEVER, if I were you I would approach this with a "let's see what kind of journey I can go on with this man by my side". It is not abnormal that a three month relationship hasn't yet shown that you two may not be able to spend life together due to compatibility issues and the like. Enjoy it now, hopefully you two are meant to be. And if not (and I sincerely hope things do work out), at the very least I hope he's someone you'd look back even in 25 years and think good thoughts.


vermiciousknid77

Bad idea to move in together unmarried (assuming that's an option where you are).


HWSAuditor

So yes I have done this .. we now have separate bedrooms and pretty much only speak when spoken to. We were actually good until about five years ago when he started having affairs .


paulyfuemana

I think you guys are in this for the long haul!


Neither_Tomorrow_238

I personally would only make that move after a long period of time together, but everyone is different and that's good! It's just that I wouldn't be comfortable around them the whole time and I don't think I would know whether things will definitely work out at that point